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*ally* is an autobiographical project. A lot of the information contained within is real, some of it isn't. Each page is structured as a conversation between myself and my ally, a mirror reflection of myself. The idea was originally cribbed from Dale Pendell's wonderful *Pharmako/\** trilogy back in my late teens, but has since taken on a life of its own.
<em class="ally-font">ally</em> is an ergodic, arborescent, semiautobiographical work about identity, mental health, spirituality, and the mutability of the past. A lot of the information contained within is real, some of it isn’t. Each page is structured as a conversation between myself and my ally, a mirror reflection of myself.
Other inspirations are Mark Z. Danielewski's <em><span style="color: blue">House</span> of Leaves</em> and J. J. Abrams and Doug Dorst's <em>S</em> for both their ergodic elements and the underlying autobiographical elements. On the hypertextual side, projects such as the old [Fray](http://fray.com/index-old.shtml) (notably the story [The Worm Within](https://fray.com/drugs/worm/)) and [Nobody Here](https://nobodyhere.com). Bonus points to [Ouverture Facile](http://www.ouverture-facile.com/) and the ilk for getting me thinking about online projects, even if this one isn't so riddly yet.
<em class="ally-font">ally.id</em> and the [book](/book) explore different facets of my life — some true, some embellished, some wholly fictitious — in a non-linear, ergodic fashion, using color, page-layout, and mixed-media to create a book more experience than memoir.
The idea was originally cribbed from Dale Pendell's wonderful *Pharmako/\** trilogy back in my late teens, but has since taken on a life of its own. Other inspirations are Mark Z. Danielewski's <em><span style="color: blue">House</span> of Leaves</em> and J. J. Abrams and Doug Dorst's <em>S</em> for both their ergodic elements and the underlying autobiographical elements. On the hypertextual side, projects such as the old [Fray](http://fray.com/index-old.shtml) (notably the story [The Worm Within](https://fray.com/drugs/worm/)) and [Nobody Here](https://nobodyhere.com). Bonus points to [Ouverture Facile](http://www.ouverture-facile.com/) and the ilk for getting me thinking about online projects, even if this one isn't so riddly yet.
If you'd like to read more of my stuff, I have a [writing page](https://writing.drab-makyo.com) (which even includes [a plain old blog](https://writing.drab-makyo.com/blog/)) and a [writing portfolio](https://makyo.ink).

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<img src="/book/cover-front.png" style="margin: 0 auto; display: block; width: 500px; max-width: 100%;" />
<p style="text-align: center">
<em>Coming June 2020!</em><br />
<script src="https://gumroad.com/js/gumroad.js"></script>
<a class="gumroad-button" href="https://gum.co/VVjeW" target="\_blank">Pre-order paperback</a><br />
<script src="https://gumroad.com/js/gumroad.js"></script>
<a class="gumroad-button" href="https://gum.co/rvof" target="\_blank">Pre-order PDF ebook</a>
</p>
<em class="ally-font">ally</em> is an ergodic, arborescent, semiautobiographical work about identity, mental health, spirituality, and the mutability of the past. A lot of the information contained within is real, some of it isn’t. Each page is structured as a conversation between myself and my ally, a mirror reflection of myself.
Based off the interactive project at [<em class="ally-font">ally.id</em>](https://ally.id), this book explores different facets of my life — some true, some embellished, some wholly fictitious — in a non-linear, ergodic fashion, using color, page-layout, and mixed-media to create a book more experience than memoir.
## Sample pages
[![](/book/book1.png)](/book/book1.png)
[![](/book/book2.png)](/book/book2.png)
[![](/book/book3.png)](/book/book1.png)
[![](/book/book4.png)](/book/book1.png)
> Have you been at your Maddy-est about it?
![](/book/book5.png)
Of course.
## Content warning
Several sections focus on suicide, self-harm, rape, sexual content, and poor mental health.
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* ISBN: 9781948743150

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date: 2020-02-21
title: Book
---
> A book?
Yes.
> Why?
<!--more-->
A question I struggle with just as much as you.
> Obviously. Best guess, then.
Best guess, this project has become important to me and integral to my writing in a way that I can't really express without waxing maudlin about writing <a class="pulse" href="/writing">again</a>. It's something I've poured time and love and blood and sweat and tears into. I'm proud of it.
> Is it not enough as it stands?
It's great as it stands. It's just that I'd also love to see this as a production that I can show to others. Something I can see on others' bookshelves. Something I can maybe see in a bookstore.
> Why the struggle, then? Why not just publish it and accept your pride?
Who am I to say my life is interesting enough to put in front of other people's eyes? How can I possibly suggest that my words are worth reading when they are about things that impact so very few people?
Like, *Restless Town* was something that I was proud of, but I didn't have this compunction because there are more trans people than just myself, more poly folks than just myself, more furries than just me. Ditto *Rum and Coke*.
> And **Eigengrau**?
Poetry --- at least much of that poetry --- is more universal than even the stories in *Restless Town*.
> This is about gender, poly, and furry. Must the whole book be applicable to be enjoyed?
No, I suppose not.
### New Content
* [ally 30](/30) through 32
* [Book](/book)
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That's right, for better or for worse, <em class="ally-font">ally</em> is coming out in book form! It's up for pre-order, in both paperback and PDF digital editions. Read more about it [here](/book)!