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Madison Scott-Clary
2020-02-19 16:56:23 -08:00
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book/content/poet-and-mystic.tex
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@ -1,4 +1,5 @@
\label{poet-and-mystic}
\index{Numinous|(}
\renewfontfamily\pagenumfont{Gentium Book Basic}[Color=CCCCDDFF]
\backgroundcolor{c[0]}[HTML]{2f082a}
@ -6,6 +7,7 @@
\backgroundcolor{c[1]}[HTML]{2f082a}
\backgroundcolor{C[1](0.6\columnsep,10000pt)(10000pt,10000pt)}[HTML]{2f082a}
\index{Numinous!seven}
\includepdf{assets/static/master.pdf}
\begin{paracol}{2}
@ -54,11 +56,12 @@ You make a terrible mystic. Your poetry's just okay.
\end{leftcolumn}
\begin{rightcolumn*}
\index{Writing!samples!poetry}
\fontspec{Gentium Book Basic}[Color=CCCCDDFF,Ligatures=TeX]
\renewfontfamily\allyFont{Merriweather Sans}[Scale=0.9,Color=EEEEFFFF,Ligatures=TeX]
\begin{verse}[1.01\textwidth]
\small
Seven flies circle,\\
Seven\index{Numinous!seven} flies circle,\\
Trimmers chatter down the block:\\
The hum of summer.
@ -128,6 +131,7 @@ And then?
\begin{rightcolumn*}
\fontspec{Gentium Book Basic}[Color=CCCCDDFF,Ligatures=TeX]
\renewfontfamily\allyFont{Merriweather Sans}[Scale=0.9,Color=EEEEFFFF,Ligatures=TeX]
\index{Journal entries|(}
\emph{March 10, 2004}
\end{rightcolumn*}
\begin{leftcolumn}
@ -135,7 +139,7 @@ And then?
\renewfontfamily\allyFont{Merriweather Sans}[Scale=0.9,Color=EEEEFFFF,Ligatures=TeX]
\noindent We wandered around for a bit before ending up sprawled in a fire-escape at FHS with Shannon in my lap, me in Ash's lap, and Andrew in Kiran's lap. Andrew ditched to go shooting with Ash and Kiran, while I went to bomb a history test. That's when things started getting really weird. I had a percoset relapse (whether that's what it was or not, it felt oddly similar to the real thing: an incurable itch buried beneath my skin, to the point where I can't actually scratch it) near the end of the period, and then in choir I imploded from empathy - so many emotions from others that I had no room for my own. Then, horns grew from my chest and head, and wings from my back; a giant fox escaped, left, and exploded into a thousand birds over Viele. Mind you, none of this really happened, but I sure felt strange. During latin, I exploded from empathy in a patchwork swirl of colors while Starin et al. stared on as I banged my head against the desk. Ms. Gibert didn't notice. I yelled for help inaudibly and searched out white points of light in the black silhouette of Boulder. I yelled for Ash and searched for Moondog.
Afterwards, I figured out how to regain control (mostly) and just in time for the bell to ring. I got a small mocha at Cafe Sole, got eaten by small greenish crystals on a table while supposed psychics did fairy readings from a kids book, and here I am, about to take a shower and get ready for Great Works rehearsal, and then group, whereupon I shall request to Reiki Moondog (again) during the speakers board on gay marriage. Hopefully I don't ex-/im-plode again \^{}\^{}
Afterwards, I figured out how to regain control (mostly) and just in time for the bell to ring. I got a small mocha at Cafe Sole, got eaten by small greenish crystals on a table while supposed psychics did fairy readings from a kids book, and here I am, about to take a shower and get ready for Great Works rehearsal, and then group, whereupon I shall request to Reiki Moondog (again) during the speakers board on gay marriage. Hopefully I don't ex-/im-plode again \^{}\^{}\index{Relationships!Michael}
\newpage
\end{leftcolumn}
\begin{rightcolumn*}
@ -245,6 +249,7 @@ Faith? You're faithful? How have you EVER been faithful to love?
\end{ally}
Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani!
\end{quotation}
\index{Journal entries|)}
\newpage
\null
\thispagestyle{empty}
@ -303,16 +308,16 @@ So that you can disappear entirely.
\begin{leftcolumn}
\fontspec{Gentium Book Basic}[Color=000000FF,Ligatures=TeX]
\renewfontfamily\allyFont{Merriweather Sans}[Scale=0.9,Color=000000FF,Ligatures=TeX]
\index{ally}
\begin{ally}
Why this? Why now? Why after your dad?
\end{ally}
Why talk about ecstasy?
Why talk about ecstasy?\index{Dad}
\begin{ally}
Yes.
\end{ally}
Dissociation.
Dissociation.\index{Mental health!dissociation}
\begin{ally}
Well, that was quick. I was expecting more roundabout. We would banter. You would get flustered. I would get smug.
@ -345,6 +350,7 @@ Fair.
\backgroundcolor{C[1](0.6\columnsep,10000pt)(10000pt,10000pt)}[HTML]{ccddbb}
\begin{paracol}{2}
\begin{leftcolumn}
\index{Writing!samples!poetry|(}
\fontspec{Gentium Book Basic}[Color=000000FF,Ligatures=TeX]
\renewfontfamily\allyFont{Merriweather Sans}[Scale=0.9,Color=000000FF,Ligatures=TeX]
@ -363,8 +369,8 @@ in some changeful duet.
You'd tell me about the geese in the sky,\\
would watch me stand still and not ask why\\
the birds scared me to pieces,\footnote{https://makyo.ink/bruise-vision/}\\
even as we dodged around their feces\footnote{https://makyo.ink/the-dogs-assure-me/}\\
the birds scared me to pieces,\footnote{makyo.ink/bruise-vision/}\\
even as we dodged around their feces\footnote{makyo.ink/the-dogs-assure-me/}\\
littering the trails.
You'd put up with my fickle interests,\\
@ -579,6 +585,7 @@ Now, it's just me, alone, quiet, thinking\\
of you by the shore, forever drinking\\
of sweet water.
\end{verse}
\index{Writing!samples!poetry|)}
\newpage
\end{leftcolumn}
\end{paracol}
@ -670,6 +677,7 @@ I know.
\null
\vfill
\index{Writing!samples!poetry|(}
\begin{center}
\begin{Spacing}{0}
speak to me\\\vspace{-7pt}
@ -700,7 +708,7 @@ the face of god
That is why I can tread along the border.\\
That is why I'm able to whisper the name of God.\\
That is why I'm allowed to know the number and how to factor it.\\
That is why I have seven fingers spread wide and three curled toward my heart.\\
That is why I have seven\index{Numinous!seven} fingers spread wide and three curled toward my heart.\\
That is why my limbs trace the curves and lines of power when I dance.\\
That is why I sit with my back to the sun in summer.\\
That is why my body is a canvas.\vspace{-7pt}
@ -735,7 +743,7 @@ the face of god
\vin \vin when chaos birthed to order and disorder,\\
we were blessed with two souls.
One has seven eyes and can see all of the monsters in the dark,\\
One has seven\index{Numinous!seven} eyes and can see all of the monsters in the dark,\\
\vin \vin but is blinded by the sun.
The other has no eyes,\\
@ -811,6 +819,7 @@ the face of god
The only time I know my true name is when I pray.
\end{verse}
\vfill
\index{Writing!samples!poetry|)}
\flushpage
\end{paracol}
@ -883,7 +892,7 @@ I was overflowing, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I watched my shi
I was overflowing, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I watched the wings stretch and extend from the wound on my back. ``Aha,'' I thought. ``This is it. This is finally it. It's finally happening. I am becoming something greater, and here I am, so unprepared!''
I was overflowing, though, not transforming, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The growth did not stop at wings. An eye. A beak. The graceful curve of a head. Plumage.
I was overflowing, though, not transforming, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The growth did not stop at wings. An eye. A beak. The graceful curve of a head. Plumage.\index{Numinous!birds|(}
``No, this isn't it.'' I panicked, and could think of nothing else but to apologize. ``I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.''
@ -913,12 +922,16 @@ A bird had plucked something from me. Something precious. Something unknowable.
The caw it gave as my vision left me and my ears filled with static was\ldots{}triumphant? No, not quite. Triumph implies that the birds could do anything but succeed. In that sound was inevitability.
After school, - - - and I tramped through the `mini-forest' and, impelled by something of the avian within, I collected five sticks.
After school, - - - and I tramped through the `mini-forest' and, impelled by something of the avian within, I collected five sticks.\index{Numinous!birds|)}
They had to be as straight as possible.
They had to be balanced as close to the middle as possible.
They had to be the same length without me breaking them.
They had to have been from different trees.
They had to have fallen more than a year prior.
When I got home, I lay them in a row, asked my questions, and, one by one, broke them in half.
@ -981,3 +994,4 @@ It's not, but it's important that you have tried.
\resetbackgroundcolor
\renewfontfamily\pagenumfont{Gentium Book Basic}[Color=000000FF]
\index{Numinous|)}