Index

book/content/poly.tex

@@ -5,7 +5,7 @@
 \begin{paracol}{2}
 \begin{leftcolumn}
 
-\noindent My parents put me through three divorces. My mother and father divorced when I was very young. Young to the point where I don't remember them being married. I remember finding a picture of them walking with their arms around each other's backs. Dad was shirtless and chestnut brown, hair a near-black 'fro. Mom was in a white blouse, blonde hair in a perm. It seemed so alien to me.
+\noindent My parents put me through three divorces. My mother and father divorced when I was very young. Young to the point where I don't remember them being married. I remember finding a picture of them walking with their arms around each other's backs. Dad was shirtless and chestnut brown, hair a near-black 'fro. Mom was in a white blouse, blonde hair in a perm. It seemed so alien to me.\index{Mom}\index{Dad}
 
 Mom and Jay got divorced when I was in my freshman year of high school. I remember being taken to a family therapy session for Jay's lingering divorce with his previous wife, but no such luck with his divorce with my mom. I just remember things getting bad after I came out, and then my mom coming downstairs to wake me one morning and inform me that we were moving out. Today. Now.
 
@@ -36,7 +36,7 @@ Stop trying to get me to talk about mania.
 
 At first, I was proud of my relationships. Then I was embarrassed. There were so many, all in a line. One would trickle into existence with, as I put it, \emph{light, in through the head, out through the heart}. We'd be perfect, until we weren't. Everything would be delightful, until it wasn't. It's the way of early relationships, I suppose. You fall for someone, and you can't quite pick apart the difference between love and lust.
 
-I just went through so many that I started feeling a bit weird about it. How do I talk about the Danny-Marek-Merlin-Andrew-Michael-Andy-Rikky-Kayla-Tyson-Andrew(again) progression? And how do I talk about Lon? Or what JD and I were at the beginning?
+I just went through so many that I started feeling a bit weird about it. How do I talk about the Danny-Marek-Merlin-Andrew-Michael-Andy-Rikky-Kayla-Tyson-Andrew(again) progression? And how do I talk about Lon? Or what James and I were at the beginning?
 
 \begin{ally}
 Doubtless with the same lilac-scented words you talk about everything.
@@ -51,6 +51,7 @@ Some bits weren't so easy, though. The overlap between the discussion that's inv
 Are you going to provide us with a Venn Diagram? In hand-coded SVG, perhaps?
 \end{ally}
 
+\index{Maddy!Catastrophically Maddy}
 \noindent\includegraphics[width=4.25in]{assets/static/healthy-sound.png}
 
 Happy?
@@ -60,7 +61,7 @@ Very. I just wanted to ensure that you were at your very Maddy-est about this.
 \end{ally}
 When my dad divorced Julie, he told her he hadn't loved her in ten years. He told her he married her because she was easy to deal with. Quiet. Compliant. Not as smart as him. He could be right around her, which wasn't always guaranteed with mom.
 
-Julie's friends gave her a rubber rat afterward. They had scribbled his name on it. The rat was sitting on a plaque that said \texttt{Rat\ Bastard}. The last time I saw her, she was very drunk, sagged against my side, sobbing and beating that rat against the nightstand.
+Julie's friends gave her a rubber rat afterward. They had scribbled his name on it. The rat was sitting on a plaque that said \texttt{Rat\ Bastard}. The last time I saw her, she was very drunk, sagged against my side, sobbing and beating that rat against the nightstand.\index{Julie}
 
 \begin{ally}
 And you didn't want to be like him when you grew up? Color me surprised.
@@ -92,8 +93,9 @@ Of course.
 \end{ally}
 The first mention on LiveJournal was April 6th, 2004.
 
+\index{Journal entries}
 \begin{quotation}
-Of the interesting topics that popped up, that of polygamy stuck with me the most.  Michael has a date with another on Thursday and, while this brought up issues with Merlin and Atrius, all I can say right now to Michael is that I wish him the best of luck.  It just feels like it would actually /work/ in his case.  As to how it pertains to me, I'm not sure if my mind could handle having two mates.  Granted I still have a thing for Kory (hah, good luck with that) and a few others, I just don't think I could find another who a) would be willing to have that sort of relationship with me and b) I could have that sort of relationship with.  Ah well.  Something to think about.
+Of the interesting topics that popped up, that of polygamy stuck with me the most.  Michael\index{Relationships!Michael} has a date with another on Thursday and, while this brought up issues with Merlin and Atrius, all I can say right now to Michael is that I wish him the best of luck.  It just feels like it would actually /work/ in his case.  As to how it pertains to me, I'm not sure if my mind could handle having two mates.  Granted I still have a thing for Kory (hah, good luck with that) and a few others, I just don't think I could find another who a) would be willing to have that sort of relationship with me and b) I could have that sort of relationship with.  Ah well.  Something to think about.
 \end{quotation}
 
 \begin{ally}
@@ -116,7 +118,7 @@ That's rare, isn't it?
 \begin{ally}
 Vanishingly.
 \end{ally}
-Listen, we were both trans. The subject was complex.
+Listen, we were both trans. The subject was complex.\index{Gender}
 
 \begin{ally}
 You were a cis gay guy. You told me that. You were unsure of vaginas.
@@ -131,7 +133,7 @@ Listen.
 \begin{ally}
 Yes?
 \end{ally}
-There were bits of sexuality that didn't work for me when I was bepenised. A lot of those make sense in a transgender context. Matthew was still a gay guy, but the Ship-of-Theseusizing was already beginning.
+There were bits of sexuality that didn't work for me when I was bepenised. A lot of those make sense in a transgender context. Matthew was still a gay guy, but the Ship-of-Theseusizing was already beginning.\index{The Death of Matthew}\index{Ship of Theseus}
 
 \begin{ally}
 `Bepenised'? `Ship-of-Theseusizing'?
@@ -139,11 +141,11 @@ There were bits of sexuality that didn't work for me when I was bepenised. A lot
 You verbed it first.
 
 \begin{ally}
-We've gotten off track.
+We've gotten off track.\index{ally}
 \end{ally}
 Right.
 
-In two previous relationships, poly had come up, and neither time, it had worked. With Merlin and Atrius, I had immediately jumped to jealousy. I felt as though I was being set aside.
+In two previous relationships, poly had come up, and neither time, it had worked. With Merlin and Atrius, I had immediately jumped to jealousy. I felt as though I was being set aside.\index{Relationships!Merlin}
 
 \begin{ally}
 Never one to have a high opinion of yourself.
@@ -188,7 +190,7 @@ I'll own that.
 \end{ally}
 I met JD in 2005, and met Robin in 2012. By 2013, I was in a relationship with both, and we were sharing dinner, along with Robin's partner, at a convention. It was natural. Comfortable. It was fun.
 
-And now, I'm in relationships of various sorts with a half dozen people. The changes between then were so incremental, and discussed so thoroughly, that it really does feel Ship of Theseish.
+And now, I'm in relationships of various sorts with a half dozen people. The changes between then were so incremental, and discussed so thoroughly, that it really does feel Ship of Theseish.\index{Ship of Theseus}
 
 \begin{ally}
 Stop.
@@ -198,7 +200,7 @@ Never.
 The other consequence of that is that, along the way, I sufficiently distanced myself from the mechanics of my parents' relationships that I finally felt comfortable in calling that dream fulfilled. The turning point was my mom, during one of her visits back to Colorado, mentioned my relationship with Robin as something she could never do.
 
 \begin{ally}
-Are you sure it wasn't writing a Python/Javascript/SVG web app to map polycules using force-directed layouts?
+Are you sure it wasn't writing a Python/Javascript/SVG web app to map polycules using force-directed layouts?\index{Maddy@Catastrophically Maddy}
 \end{ally}
 Okay, maybe it was before then.
 
@@ -225,7 +227,7 @@ And if you're queer and at least of a certain age, relationship anarchy is baked
 \begin{ally}
 Queer people, queer relationships.
 \end{ally}
-Yes. June, 2004:
+Yes. June, 2004:\index{Journal entries}
 
 \begin{quotation}
 Queer hair, queer mouth, queer brain, queer sleeves, queer shoes, queer toes, queer nails, queer fingers, queer palms, hairy palms, queer wrists, limp wrists, queer arms, queer shoulders, arms around shoulders, queer neck, sensitive neck, queer hair, curly, queer ears, sensitive ears, eargasmic, queer cheek, blushing cheek, queer nose, got it from my dad, queer eyes, queer colors, got them from my grandpa, queer eyebrows, but not as queer as some, queer face, too long, queer chest, too skinny, queer belly, padded, queer crotch, go figure, queer thighs, better believe it, queer knees, queer calfs, queer ankles, queer legs, flexible, queer feet, still smell, queer guy, no surprise.
@@ -280,7 +282,7 @@ I don't know. I haven't gotten to the point of talking to myself about this yet,
 \begin{ally}
 So what would you say, then?
 \end{ally}
-My gut instinct says that, since I'm trans, I've transgressed the lines of gender-normative relationships; since I'm poly, I've transgressed the lines of relationship-normative relationships. That, since I am queer, the relationship must be as well.
+My gut instinct says that, since I'm trans, I've transgressed the lines of gender-normative relationships; since I'm poly, I've transgressed the lines of relationship-normative relationships. That, since I am queer, the relationship must be as well.\index{Gender}
 
 \begin{ally}
 But?
@@ -298,7 +300,7 @@ Perhaps. Perhaps you are feeling contention because you are having to work, for
 My other relationships have taken work, though.
 
 \begin{ally}
-Your other partners have spoken the same language as you. It was easier to coordinate that work. You and Barac are having to learn each other's language as you go along.
+Your other partners have spoken the same language as you. It was easier to coordinate that work. You and Barac are having to learn each other's language as you go along.\index{Relationships!Barac}
 \end{ally}
 Robin and I had to learn the language of poly when we were starting out together. Judith and I and Colton and I both had our own things to learn as our relationships grew.
 
@@ -307,7 +309,7 @@ Yes, but you all spoke queer. None of you really spoke normative, a skill you're
 \end{ally}
 \newpage
 
-\noindent I've been married for seven years. Robin and I have been together for more than five. My polycule has grown steadily over the years, and I have to wonder: how much of my polyamory, my relationship anarchy is a coping mechanism for how I was raised?
+\noindent I've been married for seven years. Robin and I have been together for more than five. My polycule has grown steadily over the years, and I have to wonder: how much of my polyamory, my relationship anarchy is a coping mechanism for how I was raised?\index{Relationships!James}\index{Relationships!Robin}
 
 \begin{ally}
 Does it matter?
@@ -344,3 +346,4 @@ You know what? Now's as good a time as any.
 \resetbackgroundcolor
 
 \renewfontfamily\pagenumfont{Gentium Book Basic}[Color=000000FF]
+\index{Relationships!polyamory|)}