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Madison Scott-Clary
2020-02-19 16:56:23 -08:00
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\label{writing:writing}
\index{Writing|(}
\begin{paracol}{2}
\begin{leftcolumn}
\noindent Today, my therapist asked what the plot was to this new writing project.
@ -38,7 +39,7 @@ You are ill-defined.
\end{ally}
Not going to deny that.
I'd say a lot of this project is accidental, unintentional. I stumble about at the end of your lead and, as you say, spin circles around the smallest of things. It's hard to come at this with some sort of idea of a plot. I can't even work chronologically, because if we work from the beginning of Matthew's life back in 2000, we keep having to double back and look at proto-Matthew's life before that, and to understand that, we keep having to look at all these other people.
I'd say a lot of this project is accidental, unintentional. I stumble about at the end of your lead and, as you say, spin circles around the smallest of things. It's hard to come at this with some sort of idea of a plot. I can't even work chronologically, because if we work from the beginning of Matthew's life back in 2000, we keep having to double back and look at proto-Matthew's life before that, and to understand that, we keep having to look at all these other people.\index{The Death of Matthew}
\begin{ally}
There are too many of you.
@ -86,7 +87,7 @@ And for others? Is there not enjoyment to be gained from that which you create?
\end{ally}
\emph{Disappearance} was good, I thought. I got a lot of good words sent my way from some folks that mean a lot to me for it. The story left an impact on them, they came away from it with some sort of enjoyment, or at least some level of emotional resonance.
This project, though? I don't know. there are bits that I've tried to make enjoyable. I had fun with the koans\footnote{Page \pageref{koan}} and birds\footnote{Page \pageref{birds}}. I put a lot of emotional investment into the bits about Margaras\footnote{Page \pageref{furry:margaras}} and my dad\footnote{Page \pageref{dad}}. I tried to do some fun mixed-media stuff with the fursoña animations\footnote{https://ally.id/furry/fursona} and the mysticism stuff.\footnote{https://ally.id/poet-and-mystic} I can see those being enjoyable.
This project, though? I don't know. there are bits that I've tried to make enjoyable. I had fun with the koans\footnote{Page \pageref{koan}} and birds\footnote{Page \pageref{birds}}. I put a lot of emotional investment into the bits about Margaras\footnote{Page \pageref{furry:margaras}} and my dad\footnote{Page \pageref{dad}}. I tried to do some fun mixed-media stuff with the fursoña animations\footnote{ally.id/furry/fursona} and the mysticism stuff.\footnote{ally.id/poet-and-mystic} I can see those being enjoyable.
\begin{ally}
And the rest?
@ -149,7 +150,7 @@ I assume you went looking for one of these execrable poems of yours?
I did. I wasn't really able to find much from The Before Times, but I found a few from shortly after while prowling through my LiveJournal and archives of my old site in high school.
\begin{ally}
\href{https://web.archive.org/web/2005*/http://ranna.babylonia.flatirons.org/}{RedFox! Productions}, right?
RedFox! Productions,\footnote{makyo.io/rfp} right?
\end{ally}
Gah, yeah. I was a kid, alright?
@ -162,6 +163,7 @@ If you say so.
\emph{September 26, 2003}
\end{rightcolumn*}
\begin{leftcolumn}
\index{Writing!samples!poetry|(}
\textbf{I.}
\begin{verse}
Borne through air,\\
@ -276,6 +278,7 @@ If you say so.
Wind blows on\\
\vin \vin Past.
\end{verse}
\index{Writing!samples!poetry}
\newpage
\begin{ally}
@ -305,6 +308,7 @@ Tell me about it.
\end{flushright}
\end{rightcolumn*}
\begin{leftcolumn}
\index{Writing!samples!poetry|(}
\begin{verse}[1.01\textwidth]
What hath man wrought!\\
\vin When faced with the question of love\\
@ -414,18 +418,19 @@ While not true itself, it is truth lit:\\
\vin In a society misshapen\\
If a wrathful god fell and no one cared a whit?
\end{verse}
\index{Writing!samples!poetry|)}
\begin{center}
\rule{1in}{0.1pt}
\end{center}
\begin{ally}
Ah yes, your Keats phase.
Ah yes, your Keats phase.\index{Writing!Keats}
\end{ally}
It was a mixture of Keats and Larry Niven, I think.
\begin{ally}
That is intensely Madison.
That is, like...catastrophically Madison.
\end{ally}
Thanks.
@ -442,9 +447,9 @@ Could be better.
\begin{ally}
If you went from a mockery of creativity to a mockery of play, when did you settle down and just write a damn story?
\end{ally}
I think it wasn't too long after, actually. I wrote \href{https://writing.drab-makyo.com/fiction/all-of-time-at-once/}{\emph{All of Time at Once}} in April of 2004, and that was the first time I started to think, \emph{ah-hah, okay, there's a rhythm to this, a pace, a set of mechanics as well as an art.}
I think it wasn't too long after, actually. I wrote \emph{All of Time at Once}\footnote{writing.drab-makyo.com/fiction/all-of-time-at-once/} in April of 2004, and that was the first time I started to think, \emph{ah-hah, okay, there's a rhythm to this, a pace, a set of mechanics as well as an art.}
And from then on, I basically dropped writing in favor of music for months. Sure, there were a few others scattered around there. \href{https://writing.drab-makyo.com/fiction/tu-pater-et-mater/}{\emph{Tu pater et mater}} in May of 2003, and \href{https://writing.drab-makyo.com/fiction/light/}{\emph{Light}} in June of 2004, but other than that, I kind of just dropped it.
And from then on, I basically dropped writing in favor of music for months. Sure, there were a few others scattered around there. \emph{Tu pater et mater}\footnote{writing.drab-makyo.com/fiction/tu-pater-et-mater/} in May of 2003, and \emph{Light}\footnote{writing.drab-makyo.com/fiction/light/} in June of 2004, but other than that, I kind of just dropped it.
\begin{ally}
Why?
@ -461,7 +466,7 @@ I wrote a few essays I was reasonably proud of, but it took another four years b
\begin{ally}
Ah yes, your ``boy meets girl with a twist'' story.
\end{ally}
Yeah, \emph{The Consequences of Dissonance}.
Yeah, \emph{The Consequences of Dissonance}.\footnote{writing.drab-makyo.com/fiction/consequences-of-dissonance}
\begin{ally}
You originally named it \textbf{Coming to Terms with Being a Terrible Person}.
@ -515,7 +520,7 @@ Did you stop having fun, or did you stop doing the work?
\end{ally}
I think it's more complex than that. There was fun to be had in the race to the finish line. I think that's why NaNo is so popular. And doubtless it was work, of course.
But with the fun of having already won gone, I was faced with the fact that I had less outline than I had originally thought. Pantsing, as the community so eloquently puts it, may work well for some folks, but I was mostly left feeling uninspired and unmotivated once December hit. The same thing happened with \emph{Getting Lost} and \emph{Inner Demons}. I started strong enough with the basic idea as I tried to write by the seat of my pants, but without a direction or even any goal, I lost steam and wound up disheartened.
But with the fun of having already won gone, I was faced with the fact that I had less outline than I had originally thought. Pantsing, as the community so eloquently puts it, may work well for some folks, but I was mostly left feeling uninspired and unmotivated once December hit. The same thing happened with \emph{Getting Lost}\footnote{writing.drab-makyo.com/fiction/getting-lost/} and \emph{Inner Demons}.\footnote{writing.drab-makyo.com/work/inner-demons/} I started strong enough with the basic idea as I tried to write by the seat of my pants, but without a direction or even any goal, I lost steam and wound up disheartened.
\begin{ally}
Do you not do well without goals, then? You don't seem to have one for this project.
@ -576,7 +581,7 @@ Good luck, kid.
\begin{ally}
If this is about creativity, then tell me about composing.
\end{ally}
Shall I do so in song?\footnote{https://ally.id/writing/music}
Shall I do so in song?\footnote{ally.id/writing/music}
\begin{ally}
Please.
@ -585,3 +590,4 @@ No thanks, but I'll tell you all the same.
\newpage
\end{leftcolumn}
\end{paracol}
\index{Writing|)}