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Madison Scott-Clary
2020-02-19 17:51:11 -08:00
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book/content/poly.tex
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@ -5,7 +5,7 @@
\begin{paracol}{2}
\begin{leftcolumn}
\noindent My parents put me through three divorces. My mother and father divorced when I was very young. Young to the point where I don't remember them being married. I remember finding a picture of them walking with their arms around each other's backs. Dad was shirtless and chestnut brown, hair a near-black 'fro. Mom was in a white blouse, blonde hair in a perm. It seemed so alien to me.\index{Mom}\index{Dad}
\noindent My parents put me through three divorces. My mother and father divorced when I was very young. Young to the point where I don't remember them being married. I remember finding a picture of them walking with their arms around each other's backs. Dad was shirtless and chestnut brown, hair a near-black 'fro. Mom was in a white blouse, blonde hair in a perm. It seemed so alien to me.\index{Family!mom}\index{Family!dad}
Mom and Jay got divorced when I was in my freshman year of high school. I remember being taken to a family therapy session for Jay's lingering divorce with his previous wife, but no such luck with his divorce with my mom. I just remember things getting bad after I came out, and then my mom coming downstairs to wake me one morning and inform me that we were moving out. Today. Now.
@ -51,17 +51,17 @@ Some bits weren't so easy, though. The overlap between the discussion that's inv
Are you going to provide us with a Venn Diagram? In hand-coded SVG, perhaps?
\end{ally}
\index{Maddy!Catastrophically Maddy}
\noindent\includegraphics[width=4.25in]{assets/static/healthy-sound.png}
Happy?
\begin{ally}
Very. I just wanted to ensure that you were at your very Maddy-est about this.
Very. I just wanted to ensure that you were at your very Maddy-est about this.\index{Catastrophically Maddy}
\end{ally}
When my dad divorced Julie, he told her he hadn't loved her in ten years. He told her he married her because she was easy to deal with. Quiet. Compliant. Not as smart as him. He could be right around her, which wasn't always guaranteed with mom.
Julie's friends gave her a rubber rat afterward. They had scribbled his name on it. The rat was sitting on a plaque that said \texttt{Rat\ Bastard}. The last time I saw her, she was very drunk, sagged against my side, sobbing and beating that rat against the nightstand.\index{Julie}
Julie's friends gave her a rubber rat afterward. They had scribbled his name on it. The rat was sitting on a plaque that said \texttt{Rat\ Bastard}. The last time I saw her, she was very drunk, sagged against my side, sobbing and beating that rat against the nightstand.\index{Family!Julie}
\begin{ally}
And you didn't want to be like him when you grew up? Color me surprised.
@ -200,7 +200,7 @@ Never.
The other consequence of that is that, along the way, I sufficiently distanced myself from the mechanics of my parents' relationships that I finally felt comfortable in calling that dream fulfilled. The turning point was my mom, during one of her visits back to Colorado, mentioned my relationship with Robin as something she could never do.
\begin{ally}
Are you sure it wasn't writing a Python/Javascript/SVG web app to map polycules using force-directed layouts?\index{Maddy@Catastrophically Maddy}
Are you sure it wasn't writing a Python/Javascript/SVG web app to map polycules using force-directed layouts?\index{Catastrophically Maddy}
\end{ally}
Okay, maybe it was before then.
@ -302,14 +302,14 @@ My other relationships have taken work, though.
\begin{ally}
Your other partners have spoken the same language as you. It was easier to coordinate that work. You and Barac are having to learn each other's language as you go along.\index{Relationships!Barac}
\end{ally}
Robin and I had to learn the language of poly when we were starting out together. Judith and I and Colton and I both had our own things to learn as our relationships grew.
Robin and I had to learn the language of poly when we were starting out together. Judith and I and Colton and I both had our own things to learn as our relationships grew. Justin and I had to figure out our boundaries together.\index{Relationships!Judith}\index{Relationships!Colton}\index{Relationships!Justin}
\begin{ally}
Yes, but you all spoke queer. None of you really spoke normative, a skill you're having to learn late in life.
\end{ally}
\newpage
\noindent I've been married for seven years. Robin and I have been together for more than five. My polycule has grown steadily over the years, and I have to wonder: how much of my polyamory, my relationship anarchy is a coping mechanism for how I was raised?\index{Relationships!James}\index{Relationships!Robin}
\noindent I've been married for eight years. Robin and I have been together for more than six. I've been with both Judith and Justin for more than five. My polycule has grown steadily over the years, and I have to wonder: how much of my polyamory, my relationship anarchy is a coping mechanism for how I was raised?\index{Relationships!James}\index{Relationships!Robin}\index{Relationships!Judith}\index{Relationships!Justin}
\begin{ally}
Does it matter?