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Madison Scott-Clary
2019-12-20 17:14:34 -08:00
parent 66052437a6
commit 9a5df23afd
7 changed files with 19 additions and 9 deletions
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content/burnout/01.md
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@ -5,6 +5,10 @@ weight: 1
How did I get here?
> How did you get where?
How did I get here? How did I get to the point where I loathe my job? How did I get to the point where I loathe my life, but mostly only when I'm working?
> Start from the beginning.
Which beginning?
@ -33,7 +37,7 @@ But this was something new, I was given a list of things that they wanted to be
> And then?
And then...well, I don't know. And then the tasks got smaller and smaller, and the clients grumpier and grumpier about more and more inconsequential things. They needed twice as many new features done in half the time and could we work the weekends?
And then...well, I don't know. And then the tasks got smaller and smaller, and the clients grumpier and grumpier about more and more inconsequential things. They needed twice as many new features done in half the time and could we work the weekends? After all, they had their QA people sleeping in the office in cots in the bathrooms. Shouldn't we do the same?
At some point that must have changed, but it all changed so gradually as to not be noticeable.

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content/burnout/02.md
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That's one of those surprisingly difficult questions. I can't point to a day or week when things went bad, nor even a month. At some point, I just looked around me, at my office and my coworkers and my job and said, "I hate all of this."
> When did you notice it, then?
Does "<a class="pulse" href="/self-harm/suicide">when I tried to kill myself</a>" count?
> Not my department.
I spent a lot of time trying to fix it. I spent a lot of time changing little bits about my day or my desk or my tasks, and there was just not much that could put a dent into that mixture of loathing and anxiety that surrounded my day.
> And eventually, you just dumped the whole thing in favor of something else.