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Finally???

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Madison Scott-Clary
2019-12-20 00:21:18 -08:00
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content/gender/surgery/02.md
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---
date: 2019-10-30
weight: 2
#date: 2019-10-30
#weight: 2
---
I don't think it hit home that surgery was real until six weeks beforehand. Not that I thought it was not going to happen --- though there was some of that, of course --- but that it was something truly surreal. Some unknown and unknowable procedure would happen, and then I would be on the other side. It was almost eldritch: I would close my eyes to miss the madness and awake changed.
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> So it felt real then?
Yes, coming to terms with the fact that the surgery might have been cancelled is what made it seem as though it was something real and tangible. Real things can be cancelled. Real things can be destroyed.
Yes, coming to terms with the fact that the surgery might have been canceled is what made it seem as though it was something real and tangible. Real things can be canceled. Real things can be destroyed.