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@@ -6,7 +6,7 @@ weight: 5
I'm no good at images, only words,
and yet for days after surgery,
as anesthesia and countless
- milligrams, milliliters, millions of
+ milligrams, milliliters, millions of
drugs leave my system,
I'm lousy with visions,
each lousy with meaning.
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@ each lousy with meaning.
I lay in bed, unable to move,
struggling to keep my eyes open;
I know that if I close them,
- I'll be lost, I'll be lost, I'll be
+ I'll be lost, I'll be lost, I'll be
mired in waking dreams,
coherent visions with all the logic
of that paler side of consciousness.
@@ -22,23 +22,23 @@ of that paler side of consciousness.
Perhaps the veil here
is still too thin and vague,
the pool too clear, the monsters too scary
- too lean, too mean, too hungry, or
+ too lean, too mean, too hungry, or
perhaps I was too close to death
to come away totally unscathed,
too close to completely survive.
- It's as though, laying here,
- stinking of hospital,
- I'm seeing emotions play out,
- Scene after scene, scene after scene,
- anxiety shown in heaps of discarded entrails,
- hope in the ceaseless ratcheting of gears,
- determination in the marching of feet.
+ It's as though, laying here,
+ stinking of hospital,
+ I'm seeing emotions play out,
+ Scene after scene, scene after scene,
+ anxiety shown in heaps of discarded entrails,
+ hope in the ceaseless ratcheting of gears,
+ determination in the marching of feet.
If I were an artist, perhaps
I could hope to touch these images,
but as it is, every word falls short,
- too vague, too inexact, too tight to
+ too vague, too inexact, too tight to
hope to explain something so vast
by the very act of attempting to reproduce;
I can only hint from the margins.
@@ -46,7 +46,7 @@ I can only hint from the margins.
That poetry can accomplish what prose cannot
in its economy of motion
is attractive to me, here in recovery -
- so tired, so tired, so tired - so
+ so tired, so tired, so tired - so
maybe I can hope to express the dire import
of these visions dancing behind closed lids,
or at least remind myself on rereading.
@@ -54,7 +54,7 @@ or at least remind myself on rereading.
Even now, a week out,
I'm starting to lose touch with the visions,
I can almost touch them if I squint,
- lie real still, don't move now, but
+ lie real still, don't move now, but
even then, a shadow of the substance...
I'm starting to consign to memory
that which was probably memory to begin with.
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