Colors, formatting

book/book.tex

@@ -45,6 +45,14 @@
   \onehalfspacing
 
   % \input{content/preface}
+  \null
+  \vfill
+  \begin{center}
+    {\allyFont ally} began in the form of an interactive website.
+
+    You may still experience the project at {\allyFont https://ally.id}
+  \end{center}
+  \vfill
 
   \mainmatter
 
@@ -75,17 +83,29 @@
   \end{leftcolumn}
   \end{paracol}
 
+  \backgroundcolor{c[1]}[rgb]{0.93,0.86,1.0}
+  \backgroundcolor{C[1](0.5\columnsep,10000pt)(10000pt,10000pt)}[rgb]{0.93,0.86,1.0}
   \begin{paracol}{2}
   \begin{leftcolumn}
   \input{content/poly.tex}
   \end{leftcolumn}
   \end{paracol}
+  \backgroundcolor{c[1]}[rgb]{1.0,1.0,1.0}
+  \backgroundcolor{C[1]}[rgb]{1.0,1.0,1.0}
 
+  \backgroundcolor{c[0]}[rgb]{0.93,0.93,0.97}
+  \backgroundcolor{C[0](10000pt,10000pt)(0.5\columnsep,10000pt)}[rgb]{0.93,0.93,0.97}
+  \backgroundcolor{c[1]}[rgb]{0.93,0.93,0.97}
+  \backgroundcolor{C[1](0.5\columnsep,10000pt)(10000pt,10000pt)}[rgb]{0.93,0.93,0.97}
   \begin{paracol}{2}
   \begin{leftcolumn}
   \input{content/sex/sex.tex}
   \end{leftcolumn}
   \end{paracol}
+  \backgroundcolor{c[0]}[rgb]{1.0,1.0,1.0}
+  \backgroundcolor{C[0]}[rgb]{1.0,1.0,1.0}
+  \backgroundcolor{c[1]}[rgb]{1.0,1.0,1.0}
+  \backgroundcolor{C[1]}[rgb]{1.0,1.0,1.0}
 
   \begin{paracol}{2}
   \begin{leftcolumn}

book/content/afterword.tex

@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 
 \begin{paracol}{2}
 \begin{leftcolumn}
-  {\allyFont ally} began and still exists as a work of interactive fiction presented on the web. The project now exists in book form out of some neurotic sense of completeness. Perhaps, were I able to hold my life in my hands --- truly hold it, feel the pages sliding against one another --- I would be able to somehow digest it a little bit better. Perhaps, were I able to hold it in my hands, I would be able to understand it. Perhaps I would be able to move on.
+  \noindent {\allyFont ally} began and still exists as a work of interactive fiction presented on the web. The project now exists in book form out of some neurotic sense of completeness. Perhaps, were I able to hold my life in my hands --- truly hold it, feel the pages sliding against one another --- I would be able to somehow digest it a little bit better. Perhaps, were I able to hold it in my hands, I would be able to understand it. Perhaps I would be able to move on.
 
   \begin{ally}
     Is anything so simple?

book/content/ally/008.tex

@@ -113,10 +113,9 @@ Yeah. Sometimes it's a compulsion. Sometimes a picture will latch onto me and ne
 \end{paracol}
 
 
-% XXX
+% XXX Too jaggy
-\includepdf{assets/static/color/bw1.pdf}
+% \includepdf{assets/static/color/bw1.pdf}
 
-% XXX
 \includepdf{assets/static/color/bw2.pdf}
 
 \begin{paracol}{2}
@@ -125,7 +124,6 @@ Sometimes I'll blow out the background because the foreground is so completely o
 \end{leftcolumn}
 \end{paracol}
 
-% XXX
 \includepdf{assets/static/color/bw3.pdf}
 
 \null
@@ -133,7 +131,6 @@ Sometimes I'll blow out the background because the foreground is so completely o
 Sometimes I'll skew colors all in one direction.
 \vfill
 
-% XXX
 \includepdf{assets/static/color/window_view.pdf}
 
 \vfill

book/content/birds.tex

@@ -6,7 +6,7 @@
 \end{rightcolumn*}
 \begin{leftcolumn}
 
-First of all, let me state that I'm feeling pretty good as I write this. I feel the need to state such because a lot of my tweets and a lot of my previous entries could be construed as worrisome, and probably legitimately so, because I have the tendency to vent freely. If I feel bad, I write, and if I'm not at a computer, sometimes that ends up on Twitter. It's never my goal to freak anyone out, so much as to simply cope with what's going on. Writing, putting things in words and stringing those words together into some form meaningful to others, is a good way for me to cope with what's happening in my life. That said, although I try to be frank about symptoms, I know that some are disturbing taken at face value or to their logical extremes, so I promise: I'm feeling pretty good now!
+\noindent First of all, let me state that I'm feeling pretty good as I write this. I feel the need to state such because a lot of my tweets and a lot of my previous entries could be construed as worrisome, and probably legitimately so, because I have the tendency to vent freely. If I feel bad, I write, and if I'm not at a computer, sometimes that ends up on Twitter. It's never my goal to freak anyone out, so much as to simply cope with what's going on. Writing, putting things in words and stringing those words together into some form meaningful to others, is a good way for me to cope with what's happening in my life. That said, although I try to be frank about symptoms, I know that some are disturbing taken at face value or to their logical extremes, so I promise: I'm feeling pretty good now!
 
 I'm torn.
 
@@ -48,7 +48,7 @@ That's why I'm torn.
 \begin{leftcolumn}
 
 \begin{quotation}
-I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt, and perhaps it says, ``Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again.''
+\noindent I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt, and perhaps it says, ``Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again.''
 
 --- Lewis Carroll
 \end{quotation}
@@ -56,25 +56,25 @@ I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently?
 I've mentioned ritual before, but I think that's tied into the larger feeing of portentousness. Ritual is one way to sate that sense of intense meaning surrounding an act or an object.
 
 \begin{quotation}
-A goose is dumb. A thousand geese darkening the horizon is a portent. Mindless honking, individually directionless, collectively unstoppable
+\noindent A goose is dumb. A thousand geese darkening the horizon is a portent. Mindless honking, individually directionless, collectively unstoppable
 
---- Makyo (@drab\_makyo) February 12, 2014
+--- @drab\_makyo February 12, 2014
 \end{quotation}
 
 Any little thing can carry meaning for one person far outweighing what it might mean to others. Something about flocks of geese terrifies me. It's not a logical fear, it's a sense of foreboding. It's not the geese themselves, it's the concept of geese, the lack of any ritual to solve the problem of geese.
 
 \begin{quotation}
-A goose is tasty. Geese taste like horror. Acrid tang of ill omens \emph{froth}
+\noindent A goose is tasty. Geese taste like horror. Acrid tang of ill omens \emph{froth}
 
---- Makyo (@drab\_makyo) February 12, 2014
+--- @drab\_makyo February 12, 2014
 \end{quotation}
 
 It's dumb. Geese are dumb. There's no reason I should feel any sort of emotion at all surrounding geese, but I do.
 
 \begin{quotation}
-Why are geese so portentous? Why do they cause anxiety? Did I take my meds this morning?
+\noindent Why are geese so portentous? Why do they cause anxiety? Did I take my meds this morning?
 
---- Makyo (@drab\_makyo) February 12, 2014
+--- @drab\_makyo February 12, 2014
 \end{quotation}
 
 Ritual is like that. There is some level of meaning that's inexpressible except if you can find a way to come at it from the side. Use words like `portent'. Describe it as an odor, a sense, a mystery. Ritual and sensation are wily and wary critters that want nothing less than to be identified, pointed out, made plain. You're supposed to just go along with the ritual and accept the portentous as fact.

book/content/burnout.tex

@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-How did I get here?
+\noindent How did I get here?
 
 \begin{ally}
 How did you get where?
@@ -98,7 +98,7 @@ For a while.
 
 \newpage
 
-I could very easily get into talking about the ins and outs of working at Canonical and in software, but I don't think that's the point.
+\noindent I could very easily get into talking about the ins and outs of working at Canonical and in software, but I don't think that's the point.
 
 \begin{ally}
 No, it's not.

book/content/dad.tex

@@ -89,7 +89,7 @@ Dig deeper.
 \end{ally}
 \newpage
 
-The thing I like to say about my dad is that he didn't really want a son, he wanted a buddy. He wanted someone he could be smart with, or, failing that, be smart at. He wanted someone he could chill with and, at the end of the day, go home.
+\noindent The thing I like to say about my dad is that he didn't really want a son, he wanted a buddy. He wanted someone he could be smart with, or, failing that, be smart at. He wanted someone he could chill with and, at the end of the day, go home.
 
 \begin{ally}
 He wanted someone he could drink with. Someone he could take to the bar.
@@ -140,7 +140,7 @@ Dig deeper.
 \end{ally}
 \newpage
 
-The one thing we did together that we both seemed to earnestly enjoy was skiing.
+\noindent The one thing we did together that we both seemed to earnestly enjoy was skiing.
 
 \begin{ally}
 There were other things you enjoyed.
@@ -266,7 +266,7 @@ Dig deeper.
 \begin{paracol}{2}
 \begin{leftcolumn}
 
-If life started in high school, if that was birth, then running away was conception.
+\noindent If life started in high school, if that was birth, then running away was conception.
 
 \begin{ally}
 It was the first sign you gave that you might have a claim of ownership over yourself.
@@ -350,8 +350,6 @@ My dad had become increasingly harsh on the topic of grades over the previous fe
 I didn't know what to do. Kill myself? I'd tried half-heartedly in the past. I collected the knife I'd stolen and kept in my desk. It was too dull. I had found a mirror from a makeup compact some days before, and I broke the glass, thinking I could use a piece of that instead, but couldn't manage to get any of the shards of glass actually out of the compact, and as time drew on, I felt less and less like actually dying, as opposed to simply ceasing to be.
 \newpage
 
-Suicide
-
 \begin{ally}
 Hold on.
 \end{ally}
@@ -587,11 +585,13 @@ Dig deeper.
 \end{ally}
 \newpage
 
-When I was getting ready to leave bConnected, I started struggling with movements. It started as a twitchiness in the hands. It started with a wringing of the fingers. It started with a slight nod of the head. It started in so many tiny ways that I didn't really put together.
+\noindent When I was getting ready to leave bConnected, I started struggling with movements. It started as a twitchiness in the hands. It started with a wringing of the fingers. It started with a slight nod of the head. It started in so many tiny ways that I didn't really put together.
 
-Twitching, twitching. Screw lorazepam. Gonna walk the dog instead :D
+\begin{quotation}
+\noindent Twitching, twitching. Screw lorazepam. Gonna walk the dog instead :D
 
---- Maddy, whose tail is behind her (@drab\_makyo) August 19, 2012
+--- @drab\_makyo August 19, 2012
+\end{quotation}
 
 \begin{ally}
 Twitch twitch.
@@ -701,9 +701,11 @@ Matthew was dead. Madison was conceived. She would be born soon.
 Dig deeper.
 \end{ally}
 \newpage
-
+\end{leftcolumn}
-October 26, 2014:
+\begin{rightcolumn*}
-
+\emph{October 26, 2014}
+\end{rightcolumn*}
+\begin{leftcolumn}
 \begin{quotation}
 Hey Matt
 
@@ -726,21 +728,21 @@ Three and a half hours later, my reply:
 \begin{quotation}
 Hey dad,
 
-Things are going fine at the house, though things are always more expensive than they first seem.  We got the old house rented out, though, and that really helps; the mortgage on that is about $650, and it's renting for $1550, so the extra cash really helps with the new place.  Other than finances though,it's going really well.  Loveland's kind of a desert for restaurants and things to do, but we've got enough to keep us occupied at the house.
+Things are going fine at the house, though things are always more expensive than they first seem.  We got the old house rented out, though, and that really helps; the mortgage on that is about \$650, and it's renting for \$1550, so the extra cash really helps with the new place.  Other than finances though, it's going really well.  Loveland's kind of a desert for restaurants and things to do, but we've got enough to keep us occupied at the house.
 
 It's a shame to hear about grandma, but I suppose that's sort of what happens as one gets older.  You'll have to say hi for me, I'll be travelling to Seattle around then.  Things are going okay here, work's going really well and there's lots of travel.  I just got back from Brussels not too long ago and am currently in the Bay Area on the first Actual Vacation I've taken in a while, the rest having been coincidental things with conferences and conventions.  We'll have to meet up sometime for drinks and catching up.
 
 In all, things are going well, though I think I need to be more honest about a big part of my life over the last several years.
 
-In my life as a gay man, I believe I only ever really come out in an explicit manner once.  I was in high school, in my first week of classes, and our counselors came around to our homeroom class to hold some getting-to-know-you exercise.  This consisted of a lot of bored kids and one "excited" counselor asking us a series of yes or no questions and having us move to one side of the room for 'yes' and the other for 'no'.  Being in a progressive town, I didn't expect to be the only kid to answer the question "Will you get married when you grow up?" with no, but sure enough, I was.  I was feeling brave, so, when I was questioned about my response in front of the class, mumbled, "gay marriage is illegal, and I'm gay."
+In my life as a gay man, I believe I only ever really come out in an explicit manner once.  I was in high school, in my first week of classes, and our counselors came around to our homeroom class to hold some getting-to-know-you exercise.  This consisted of a lot of bored kids and one ``excited'' counselor asking us a series of yes or no questions and having us move to one side of the room for `yes' and the other for `no'.  Being in a progressive town, I didn't expect to be the only kid to answer the question "Will you get married when you grow up?" with no, but sure enough, I was.  I was feeling brave, so, when I was questioned about my response in front of the class, mumbled, "gay marriage is illegal, and I'm gay."
 
-All of the other times I had to come out to family or friends, it was something assumed, or something hinted at.  When I came out to my mom, I did so by leaving a book about gay teens and their stories on her stack of books to read.  Coming out at work at my first job out of college was a matter of being "the one hired by the gay manager", and coming out at my second job was a matter of my relationship with James being included in a portfolio piece - a data-visualization résumé about my life. When I *officially* came out to you, I did so by inviting you to my wedding to James.  Prior to that, although I assume it was common knowledge, it was unspoken.
+All of the other times I had to come out to family or friends, it was something assumed, or something hinted at.  When I came out to my mom, I did so by leaving a book about gay teens and their stories on her stack of books to read.  Coming out at work at my first job out of college was a matter of being "the one hired by the gay manager", and coming out at my second job was a matter of my relationship with James being included in a portfolio piece --- a data-visualization résumé about my life. When I \emph{officially} came out to you, I did so by inviting you to my wedding to James.  Prior to that, although I assume it was common knowledge, it was unspoken.
 
 Needless to say, I'm not all that good at coming out.
 
-Running away was a turning point for me - for both of us, really.  I think that we have always been guarded in our communication with each other.  During that time in my life, I felt under intense distress that I couldn't express to you.  Not only did I not have the words, it didn't fit in with what I perceived to be our mode of communication.  I felt stuck, drained, and worthless, and the only path forward to me at the time was escape.
+Running away was a turning point for me --- for both of us, really.  I think that we have always been guarded in our communication with each other.  During that time in my life, I felt under intense distress that I couldn't express to you.  Not only did I not have the words, it didn't fit in with what I perceived to be our mode of communication.  I felt stuck, drained, and worthless, and the only path forward to me at the time was escape.
 
-After that incident, however, I shut down even more.  I didn't feel that talking through emotions, feelings, and identity with you was appropriate or allowed.  This was something based off of my perceptions, which were that there are appropriate conversations to have, and that not all conversations fit into this category.  I think - I hope - that my perceptions growing up were wrong.  I know that my running away caused a lot of pain, and that's something that I still feel bad about, just as I know that only coming out to you through a wedding invite was not my classiest move, and I feel bad about that as well.
+After that incident, however, I shut down even more.  I didn't feel that talking through emotions, feelings, and identity with you was appropriate or allowed.  This was something based off of my perceptions, which were that there are appropriate conversations to have, and that not all conversations fit into this category.  I think --- I hope --- that my perceptions growing up were wrong.  I know that my running away caused a lot of pain, and that's something that I still feel bad about, just as I know that only coming out to you through a wedding invite was not my classiest move, and I feel bad about that as well.
 
 It has been my goal with my friends and partners to have relationships based on the ability to share the emotions and problems that are part and parcel to being a living human being.  Over the last few years, I've worked to open up to my mom as well, letting deliberate honesty take the place of obfuscation and lying through omission about the things that are tough to talk about.  I think that, as my dad, I owe that to you as well.  I want to make up for all the lost conversations that we've never had.  We've made good buddies over the last few decades, and I think it's important that we also make good family.
 
@@ -760,15 +762,15 @@ What this boils down to, really, is that I'm more than just uncomfortable in a m
 
 I've found ways to soothe this friction, however, and, as I mentioned, I'm deliberately pursuing these fronts.  I can do little things, like dress in a less masculine fashion, walk with less swagger, and, to get down to the point, change my name away from something so decidedly masculine.  I'm working on changing my name from Matthew Joseph Scott to Madison Jesse Scott-Clary. It's a way to mitigate this distress, and it's working well from my point of view.  I'm finally being proactive about self-actualization rather than waiting for it to come from the outside, and it's doing me wonders.
 
-I waffle quite a bit on whether or not to adopt the label transgender for myself, but in a lot of ways, it really fits.  'Transgender' is an umbrella term that encompasses most all of gender variance in the human population, and literally just means not identifying with the culturally defined gender roles or categories of male or female as it pertains to one's sex assigned at birth.
+I waffle quite a bit on whether or not to adopt the label transgender for myself, but in a lot of ways, it really fits.  `Transgender' is an umbrella term that encompasses most all of gender variance in the human population, and literally just means not identifying with the culturally defined gender roles or categories of male or female as it pertains to one's sex assigned at birth.
 
-Going back to Rubin's definition of gender, it is my psychological identification that is not in line with my biological sex.  I don't really feel "more like a woman than a man", so much as I feel decidedly ungendered.  Gender itself is non-binary - there isn't simply an either-or, or a line between two extremes, but a whole realm of experience that exists, unique to each person as an individual.
+Going back to Rubin's definition of gender, it is my psychological identification that is not in line with my biological sex.  I don't really feel ``more like a woman than a man'', so much as I feel decidedly ungendered.  Gender itself is non-binary - there isn't simply an either-or, or a line between two extremes, but a whole realm of experience that exists, unique to each person as an individual.
 
-As far as definitions go, this makes me more "genderqueer" or "genderfluid", rather than simply "transgender".  However, given my tendency to shy away from masculinity, I think it is safe to say that, although I will aways be a man-shape (there's no changing my height, natch), I will be a lot less masculine, and thus to all appearances by society at large more feminine, than I have been in the past.  So while transgender works, I generally describe myself as agender or genderqueer, and use gender-neutral pronouns such as "they/them/theirs" to refer to myself.
+As far as definitions go, this makes me more ``genderqueer'' or ``genderfluid'', rather than simply ``transgender''.  However, given my tendency to shy away from masculinity, I think it is safe to say that, although I will aways be a man-shape (there's no changing my height, natch), I will be a lot less masculine, and thus to all appearances by society at large more feminine, than I have been in the past.  So while transgender works, I generally describe myself as agender or genderqueer, and use gender-neutral pronouns such as ``they/them/theirs'' to refer to myself.
 
 Big picture, what does this mean?
 
-I've already brought up the name change, and as yet, that's one in a set of very small changes that make up my attempts to alleviate this particular type of distress.  It's these little things - changing my name, growing my hair out, carefully choosing the clothing that I purchase - that I've adopted so far as deliberate attempts to make myself feel better
+I've already brought up the name change, and as yet, that's one in a set of very small changes that make up my attempts to alleviate this particular type of distress.  It's these little things --- changing my name, growing my hair out, carefully choosing the clothing that I purchase --- that I've adopted so far as deliberate attempts to make myself feel better
 
 I am, however, still me.  There is nothing above the surface level that is changing.  This has always been me, and will always be me, and there's certainly no changing that.  Little things such as changing my name are ways in which I can better align that sense of self with the ways in which the world perceives me.
 
@@ -792,17 +794,19 @@ Madison Scott-Clary
 
 Some resources:
 
-[0] A good explanation of neutrois/agender/genderqueer:
+\begin{enumerate}
+  \item A good explanation of neutrois/agender/genderqueer:
 
     Take everything that you associate with masculinity and put it into a metaphorical yard. Then do the same thing with everything feminine, putting all of that into an adjacent yard. Then, build a low stone wall (not a fence) between them, and put atop this wall everything that you can associate with both genders. Then, imagine that I walked down that wall, picked up a lot of the attributes from that center place, and then the parts from both of the yards that most appealed to me.
 
-[1] A good set of pages on the subject of transgender issues and gender variance as a whole: http://transwhat.org/
+  \item A good set of pages on the subject of transgender issues and gender variance as a whole: http://transwhat.org/
 
-[2] A well-written video on non-binary gender, sexuality, and presentation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibAGYQtk3r4
+  \item A well-written video on non-binary gender, sexuality, and presentation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibAGYQtk3r4
 
-[3] A friend, who is going through similar changes in their life, wrote a really good analogy on binaries and identities: https://medium.com/@indilatrani/early-birds-and-night-owls-afc59712b0b8
+  \item A friend, who is going through similar changes in their life, wrote a really good analogy on binaries and identities: https://medium.com/@indilatrani/early-birds-and-night-owls-afc59712b0b8
 
-[4] A really good paper on the types of things I've been working through over the past decade or so: http://web.uvic.ca/~ahdevor/Witnessing.pdf
+  \item A really good paper on the types of things I've been working through over the past decade or so: http://web.uvic.ca/~ahdevor/Witnessing.pdf
+\end{enumerate}
 \end{quotation}
 
 \begin{ally}
@@ -847,11 +851,11 @@ Four days later.
 \begin{quotation}
 Hey Madison
 
-First things first. Congratulation on that vacation. They seem to be hard to come by lately. I know Maurine doesn’t consider going to Tucson a vacation any more. We do love San Fran. Maybe a trip this spring. Playing a lot of deadline games this fall and pretty much have been stuck here in the office. Can’t bitch. It pays for retirement (whatever that’ll be).
+First things first. Congratulation on that vacation. They seem to be hard to come by lately. I know Maurine doesn't consider going to Tucson a vacation any more. We do love San Fran. Maybe a trip this spring. Playing a lot of deadline games this fall and pretty much have been stuck here in the office. Can't bitch. It pays for retirement (whatever that'll be).
 
-Thanks for the letter. I am always glad to get something to read that has some meat to it. Also thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. That thing they call life can be a slippery beast and I am always happy when you can feel a little more comfortable walking around. It’s funny how easy it is to say that you don’t care what people think when deep down your innate reflex is to care.
+Thanks for the letter. I am always glad to get something to read that has some meat to it. Also thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. That thing they call life can be a slippery beast and I am always happy when you can feel a little more comfortable walking around. It's funny how easy it is to say that you don't care what people think when deep down your innate reflex is to care.
 
-Anyway, I am truly happy for you. It’s your life and it should be as fun and easy as you can make it. Seems thoughtful people tend to beat themselves up while many others can just cruise through life with a grin. I can envy them at times.  It took me a lot of years to learn to just relax and enjoy things. I’ve had my times when I have gone to see counselors just because I couldn’t feel settled down in life. Each time I’ve learned a little bit about myself that helps slow down the troubles so that the good can be enjoyed. I will always be there if you need me no  matter what your name is or for that matter your gender.
+Anyway, I am truly happy for you. It's your life and it should be as fun and easy as you can make it. Seems thoughtful people tend to beat themselves up while many others can just cruise through life with a grin. I can envy them at times.  It took me a lot of years to learn to just relax and enjoy things. I've had my times when I have gone to see counselors just because I couldn't feel settled down in life. Each time I've learned a little bit about myself that helps slow down the troubles so that the good can be enjoyed. I will always be there if you need me no  matter what your name is or for that matter your gender.
 
 Still looking forward to seeing you Madison. This weekend is a bit of a rush, but we around from then till Thanksgiving. Let me know your address and Maurine and I would love to come up and see the new digs and have some lunch.
 
@@ -863,7 +867,7 @@ Dig deeper.
 \end{ally}
 \newpage
 
-I went through all this effort to come out to him. It was one of the only times I've come out and had it be 100\% my choice, my words. I could write what I want, explain my feelings.
+\noindent I went through all this effort to come out to him. It was one of the only times I've come out and had it be 100\% my choice, my words. I could write what I want, explain my feelings.
 
 \begin{ally}
 Ish.

book/content/from-within.tex

@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 % background: '#333a18'
 % color: '#cdc'
 % quote: '#efe'
-Somewhere around 2014, a friend of mine went mad.
+\noindent Somewhere around 2014, a friend of mine went mad.
 
 \begin{ally}
 That's a bit dramatic, isn't it?
@@ -49,7 +49,7 @@ And\ldots{}
 % color: '#cdc'
 % quote: '#efe'
 
-Somewhere around 2018, a friend of mine went mad.
+\noindent Somewhere around 2018, a friend of mine went mad.
 
 \begin{ally}
 Same one?
@@ -134,7 +134,7 @@ Okay.
 % color: '#cdc'
 % quote: '#efe'
 
-On two occasions, the world has slid away from me.
+\noindent On two occasions, the world has slid away from me.
 
 \begin{ally}
 What does madness feel like from within?
@@ -189,7 +189,7 @@ And\ldots{}
 % color: '#bcb'
 % quote: '#ded'
 
-Let's talk about mania.
+\noindent Let's talk about mania.
 
 \begin{ally}
 Finally.
@@ -236,7 +236,7 @@ And?
 % color: '#aba'
 % quote: '#cdc'
 
-I'm hypomanic now.
+\noindent I'm hypomanic now.
 
 \begin{ally}
 You're hypomanic now.

book/content/furry/furry.tex

@@ -340,6 +340,8 @@ Let {[}a{]}{[}s{]} speak for {[}a{]}{[}s{]}. Let yourself speak for yourself.
 Okay.
 \newpage
 
+\input{content/furry/margaras.tex}
+
 \begin{ally}
 Who are you?
 \end{ally}

book/content/furry/younes.tex

@@ -51,7 +51,7 @@ Let's talk about kink.
 Soon, soon.
 \newpage
 
-There's a few things that I did wrong, here.
+\noindent There's a few things that I did wrong, here.
 
 \begin{ally}
 Objectively?
@@ -135,7 +135,7 @@ The thing that you did wrong was to lie.
 \end{ally}
 \newpage
 
-Growing up, I had a real problem with lying.
+\noindent Growing up, I had a real problem with lying.
 
 \begin{ally}
 There were reasons.

book/content/gender/gender.tex

@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@ Then yes. We got here through furry, which opened up the path before us to even
 What better way to experience that sudden, jarring dissonance of body-ownership than to re-inhabit it and discover it to be wrong in so many ways?
 \newpage
 
-I stand by the fact that not every trans, non-binary, or queer person experiences gender through a negative lens. Dysphoria is not a requirement for being trans. It has to be the case that there be a positive way to experience gender, or transition would be simply an exercise in futility. There has to be a flip side. There has to be gender euphoria.
+\noindent I stand by the fact that not every trans, non-binary, or queer person experiences gender through a negative lens. Dysphoria is not a requirement for being trans. It has to be the case that there be a positive way to experience gender, or transition would be simply an exercise in futility. There has to be a flip side. There has to be gender euphoria.
 
 \begin{ally}
 There has to be the little thrill of typing \texttt{morph\ female} and being able to interact with the world around you --- even if that's only in the instance of a furry text-base role-play game --- as something other, something truer. There has to be that even when you still enjoy the body you've got.
@@ -83,7 +83,7 @@ Name a part of your identity that figures larger in your life than gender.
 Ah.
 \newpage
 
-So, if we've talked about furry and we've talked about the dress and we've talked about dad and self-harm and the yellow couch, then what is there to talk about when it comes to gender?
+\noindent So, if we've talked about furry and we've talked about the dress and we've talked about dad and self-harm and the yellow couch, then what is there to talk about when it comes to gender?
 
 \begin{ally}
 Talk about what happened.
@@ -329,7 +329,7 @@ Because if you can't, how can you say you understand yourself?
 \end{ally}
 \newpage
 
-You are playing devil's advocate because you are handily ignoring genderqueer people in order to get me to explain my identity.
+\noindent You are playing devil's advocate because you are handily ignoring genderqueer people in order to get me to explain my identity.
 
 \begin{ally}
 I am, yes. So, explain.

book/content/jay.tex

@@ -1,4 +1,6 @@
-Mom and Jay got married when I was in elementary school. Fourth grade, maybe? It's a bit hazy.
+\fontspec{Gentium Book Basic}[Color=222288FF]
+\renewfontfamily\allyFont{Merriweather Sans}[Scale=0.9,Color=4444AAFF,Ligatures=TeX]
+\noindent Mom and Jay got married when I was in elementary school. Fourth grade, maybe? It's a bit hazy.
 
 \begin{ally}
 Life began in high school, remember?
@@ -16,7 +18,7 @@ What did you own.
 Many gifts. A few hobbies. Later, an internet connection.
 \newpage
 
-Jay was a photographer. An artist. A true, honest, dyed-in-the-wool artist.
+\noindent Jay was a photographer. An artist. A true, honest, dyed-in-the-wool artist.
 
 \begin{ally}
 You looked up to him. Part of you wanted to be him. He could run a photography business funded by his day job of being a newspaper photographer. You thought of him when you changed your major to music.
@@ -58,7 +60,7 @@ Thus you, 1:19 AM on a Tuesday, gritting your teeth and trying not to write abou
 \end{ally}
 \newpage
 
-Our punishment --- my step-siblings and I --- was time-out. Jay had an old church pew rescued from some church in New Mexico that he'd painted a grayish sky blue. ``Go sit on the bench,'' he'd tell us. ``Half an hour.''
+\noindent Our punishment --- my step-siblings and I --- was time-out. Jay had an old church pew rescued from some church in New Mexico that he'd painted a grayish sky blue. ``Go sit on the bench,'' he'd tell us. ``Half an hour.''
 
 \begin{ally}
 You measured it with your fingers. You'd judge the width of the plank you sat on by pinching it. Three inches? Four? You'd lay your length on it and count how many Matts it took from one end to another.
@@ -87,7 +89,7 @@ It took you no longer being afraid of him. It took you telling your mom that, no
 I'm still afraid of him. Maybe it just took me admitting that.
 \newpage
 
-When I came out, I did so by leaving a book of stories from gay youth on top of my mom's reading pile right before taking the bus down to visit my dad for the night. She called me after dinner and asked me if the book meant what she thought it did.
+\noindent When I came out, I did so by leaving a book of stories from gay youth on top of my mom's reading pile right before taking the bus down to visit my dad for the night. She called me after dinner and asked me if the book meant what she thought it did.
 
 \begin{ally}
 Did you ever tell --- really tell, with words and everything --- any of your family you were gay? Or trans?
@@ -137,7 +139,7 @@ Let's talk about kink.
 Let's fucking not.
 \newpage
 
-My mom and I got in the habit of going to the dog part after work. We'd pick up Hank, our golden lad, and Chelsea, our Phyllis-Diller-slash-Yoda mutt, and drive across town to a field dedicated to letting dogs frolic with each other.
+\noindent My mom and I got in the habit of going to the dog part after work. We'd pick up Hank, our golden lad, and Chelsea, our Phyllis-Diller-slash-Yoda mutt, and drive across town to a field dedicated to letting dogs frolic with each other.
 
 We'd play with other dogs. We'd through tennis ball after slobbery tennis ball. We got to know the other owners, mostly as ``oh, you're Sandy's owner''.
 
@@ -169,7 +171,7 @@ Back to the lilac-scented word, please.
 Gladly.
 \newpage
 
-Between when the divorce was decided and when we were supposed to move out to the townhouse my mom had purchased, mom adopted a dog. Helen had clearly been feral rather than a surrender, because she was impossible. She didn't know how to act around dogs. She didn't know how to act around people. She didn't know how to act indoors. She didn't know how to act outside.
+\noindent Between when the divorce was decided and when we were supposed to move out to the townhouse my mom had purchased, mom adopted a dog. Helen had clearly been feral rather than a surrender, because she was impossible. She didn't know how to act around dogs. She didn't know how to act around people. She didn't know how to act indoors. She didn't know how to act outside.
 
 \begin{ally}
 She didn't know how to act around you, so you hid from her.

book/content/liminal.tex

@@ -55,7 +55,7 @@ Tell me about that place in between, then.
 \end{ally}
 \newpage
 
-Shortly after we learned that Margaras died--
+\noindent Shortly after we learned that Margaras died--
 
 \begin{ally}
 Less than twenty-four hours. That's pretty short.
@@ -248,7 +248,7 @@ Soon.
 Yes, soon.
 \newpage
 
-Telling dad was the second time I came out to family deliberately.
+\noindent Telling dad was the second time I came out to family deliberately.
 
 \begin{ally}
 The third.
@@ -293,7 +293,7 @@ Tell me about coming out to dad.
 I will.
 \newpage
 
-Coming out to myself and JD was more gradual. A sea-change.
+\noindent Coming out to myself and JD was more gradual. A sea-change.
 
 \begin{ally}
 Maybe that's what those two years were between Matthew and Madison were.
@@ -358,7 +358,7 @@ Wow, touched a nerve, there.
 We will talk about that later.
 \newpage
 
-You know what? No, I take that back. We'll talk about it now.
+\noindent You know what? No, I take that back. We'll talk about it now.
 
 \begin{ally}
 Tell me about the dress.

book/content/movement.tex

@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-I will be the first to admit that it is difficult to write about mental health, as is certainly evidenced here already, and in countless other projects where I've tried to get that across. Even when talking about it, my voice is filled with ellipses and my words littered with hedges, fillers, and all sorts of metalinguistic dross.
+\noindent I will be the first to admit that it is difficult to write about mental health, as is certainly evidenced here already, and in countless other projects where I've tried to get that across. Even when talking about it, my voice is filled with ellipses and my words littered with hedges, fillers, and all sorts of metalinguistic dross.
 
 \begin{ally}
 That you later had to learn to use those consciously, to string like-and-if-um-but-so through your words like fairy lights to anchor your pitch is neither here nor there.
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@ Yes.
 Let's talk about movement disorders, then.
 \newpage
 
-Everyone, I suspect, deals with movement in a different way. Some are content to sit still where others have to move. Some must move, and it is a part of their personality. Some cannot move and it is a part of their physiology.
+\noindent Everyone, I suspect, deals with movement in a different way. Some are content to sit still where others have to move. Some must move, and it is a part of their personality. Some cannot move and it is a part of their physiology.
 
 And some must move because it is an aching necessity. There is no ``if they do not move, then\ldots{}'' statement to be made. They must move. They can't \emph{not} move.
 
@@ -107,7 +107,7 @@ How effective do you think that would be on those conference calls with Lewis as
 I don't think I could manage. At that point, it was embarrassing enough to have picked up a stutter, a movement disorder that I never explained to my boss or the PM. To acknowledge it to the client would have been mortifying.
 \newpage
 
-When I was interviewing for Canonical, the tic had not yet started, or at least not yet to the point where it was affecting my neck or my voice. By the time I \emph{did} start at Canonical, it was well underway.
+\noindent When I was interviewing for Canonical, the tic had not yet started, or at least not yet to the point where it was affecting my neck or my voice. By the time I \emph{did} start at Canonical, it was well underway.
 
 Much to my chagrin, not only was I stuttering at the time, but the job required daily video calls.
 
@@ -151,7 +151,7 @@ You happened to pass by one of the attendees from the data panel shortly after,
 Yes. Part of me was embarrassed, sure, but part of me was relieved to be seen.
 \newpage
 
-Bit by bit, little by little, the tic once again slid from my life. Enough stressors had gone or were on their way out that I was gaining stillness.
+\noindent Bit by bit, little by little, the tic once again slid from my life. Enough stressors had gone or were on their way out that I was gaining stillness.
 
 I spent more and more days with fewer and fewer tics. I relished in the stillness.
 
@@ -166,9 +166,7 @@ And then you forgot.
 And then I forgot.
 \newpage
 
-Suicide mention
+\noindent My journey through medication has been long and storied.
-
-My journey through medication has been long and storied.
 
 \begin{ally}
 Tell me.
@@ -227,7 +225,7 @@ Transient tic disorder
   Provisional tic disorder
 \end{itemize}
 
-The following code(s) above F95.0 contain annotation back-references that may be applicable to F95.0:
+\noindent The following code(s) above F95.0 contain annotation back-references that may be applicable to F95.0:
 
 \begin{itemize}
 \tightlist
@@ -258,7 +256,7 @@ The following code(s) above F95.0 contain annotation back-references that may be
   Transient childhood tic
 \end{itemize}
 
-ICD-10-CM F95.0 is grouped within Diagnostic Related Group(s) (MS-DRG v36.0):
+\noindent ICD-10-CM F95.0 is grouped within Diagnostic Related Group(s) (MS-DRG v36.0):
 
 \begin{itemize}
 \tightlist
@@ -275,7 +273,7 @@ ICD-10-CM F95.0 is grouped within Diagnostic Related Group(s) (MS-DRG v36.0):
 \hypertarget{icd-10-cm-diagnosis-code-g25.71}{%
 \subsection{2019 ICD-10-CM Diagnosis Code G25.71}\label{icd-10-cm-diagnosis-code-g25.71}}
 
-Drug induced akathisia
+\noindent Drug induced akathisia
 
 \hypertarget{applicable-to-1}{%
 \subsubsection{Applicable To}\label{applicable-to-1}}
@@ -290,7 +288,7 @@ Drug induced akathisia
   Tardive akathisia
 \end{itemize}
 
-The following code(s) above G25.71 contain annotation back-references that may be applicable to G25.71:
+\noindent The following code(s) above G25.71 contain annotation back-references that may be applicable to G25.71:
 
 \begin{itemize}
 \tightlist
@@ -331,7 +329,7 @@ The following code(s) above G25.71 contain annotation back-references that may b
   A condition associated with the use of certain medications and characterized by an internal sense of motor restlessness often described as an inability to resist the urge to move.
 \end{itemize}
 
-ICD-10-CM G25.71 is grouped within Diagnostic Related Group(s) (MS-DRG v36.0):
+\noindent ICD-10-CM G25.71 is grouped within Diagnostic Related Group(s) (MS-DRG v36.0):
 
 \begin{itemize}
 \tightlist
@@ -346,7 +344,7 @@ ICD-10-CM G25.71 is grouped within Diagnostic Related Group(s) (MS-DRG v36.0):
 \hypertarget{icd-10-cm-diagnosis-code-g24.01}{%
 \subsection{2019 ICD-10-CM Diagnosis Code G24.01}\label{icd-10-cm-diagnosis-code-g24.01}}
 
-Drug induced subacute dyskinesia
+\noindent Drug induced subacute dyskinesia
 
 \hypertarget{applicable-to-2}{%
 \subsubsection{Applicable To}\label{applicable-to-2}}
@@ -363,7 +361,7 @@ Drug induced subacute dyskinesia
   Tardive dyskinesia
 \end{itemize}
 
-The following code(s) above G24.01 contain annotation back-references that may be applicable to G24.01:
+\noindent The following code(s) above G24.01 contain annotation back-references that may be applicable to G24.01:
 
 \begin{itemize}
 \tightlist
@@ -402,7 +400,7 @@ The following code(s) above G24.01 contain annotation back-references that may b
   Iatrogenic extrapyramidal disorder produced by long-term administration of antipsychotic drugs; characterized by oral/lingual/buccal dyskinesias and choreoathetoid movements of the extremities.
 \end{itemize}
 
-ICD-10-CM G24.01 is grouped within Diagnostic Related Group(s) (MS-DRG v36.0):
+\noindent ICD-10-CM G24.01 is grouped within Diagnostic Related Group(s) (MS-DRG v36.0):
 
 \begin{itemize}
 \tightlist
@@ -415,7 +413,7 @@ ICD-10-CM G24.01 is grouped within Diagnostic Related Group(s) (MS-DRG v36.0):
 \end{itemize}
 \newpage
 
-There is a certain unique agony to akathisia. When I was in the hospital after surgery, and even for weeks afterwards, I was dead convinced that the problem I was going through was related to temperature. Part of this, no doubt, was due to the weather warming up followed by, toward the end of my inpatient stay there, the climate control in the room going out, leaving it a sweltering (to me) seventy-six degrees.
+\noindent There is a certain unique agony to akathisia. When I was in the hospital after surgery, and even for weeks afterwards, I was dead convinced that the problem I was going through was related to temperature. Part of this, no doubt, was due to the weather warming up followed by, toward the end of my inpatient stay there, the climate control in the room going out, leaving it a sweltering (to me) seventy-six degrees.
 
 \begin{ally}
 What you didn't take into account was the fact that you have a hard time sitting down for an hour at a time, never mind being confined to bed rest laying on your back only for five days straight.
@@ -461,9 +459,10 @@ Maybe I can get closer that way.
 
 \begin{ally}
 Yes.
-\end{ally}\newpage
+\end{ally}
+\newpage
 
-Only five months after I figured out just what akathisia was, the disorder evolved into something more dramatic. Whereas the tic, whether or not it was iatrogenic, affected mostly my neck and only rarely my wrists, this new form of drug-induced movement disorder affected most of my upper body, dystonia alternating between athetosis and chorea; between a fluid, graceful swimming of limbs to a tense, rigid posture with repetitive jerking movements.
+\noindent Only five months after I figured out just what akathisia was, the disorder evolved into something more dramatic. Whereas the tic, whether or not it was iatrogenic, affected mostly my neck and only rarely my wrists, this new form of drug-induced movement disorder affected most of my upper body, dystonia alternating between athetosis and chorea; between a fluid, graceful swimming of limbs to a tense, rigid posture with repetitive jerking movements.
 
 It was infuriating and humiliating --- and before you interrupt, no, I will not talk about kink.
 

book/content/poly.tex

@@ -164,7 +164,7 @@ Let's talk about kink.
 Let's fucking not.
 \newpage
 
-I won't repost them, because they're direct logs, shortly after the conversation mentioned before, the issue of Michael bringing another partner to the queer group we were a part of came up. How would we work a situation where I, coming from a monogamous point of view, would be in the same room with my partner and metamour? Would we split our time? Would one of us get ignored while the other got attention? Would we both get attention? Would we just plain avoid it?
+\noindent I won't repost them, because they're direct logs, shortly after the conversation mentioned before, the issue of Michael bringing another partner to the queer group we were a part of came up. How would we work a situation where I, coming from a monogamous point of view, would be in the same room with my partner and metamour? Would we split our time? Would one of us get ignored while the other got attention? Would we both get attention? Would we just plain avoid it?
 
 \begin{ally}
 It's surreal, even for me, to hear you talk about this today, given your current situation.
@@ -211,7 +211,7 @@ Probably not.
 Yeah, probably not.
 \newpage
 
-Relationship anarchy, as a topic, seems to draw heavily from both poly folks and queer folks. In fact, the three ideas are so heavily intertwined that it's difficult to have one without the others. Poly? Well, there's a good chance that there are some queer aspects to your relationship.
+\noindent Relationship anarchy, as a topic, seems to draw heavily from both poly folks and queer folks. In fact, the three ideas are so heavily intertwined that it's difficult to have one without the others. Poly? Well, there's a good chance that there are some queer aspects to your relationship.
 
 And if you're queer and at least of a certain age, relationship anarchy is baked into your soul. If your society sets up a ``natural'' relationship progression and then bars an entire class from entry to that progression, subversive and transgressive relationship structures form as a matter of course.
 
@@ -261,7 +261,7 @@ Why do you bring this up? You're not writing an article. Out with it.
 Right.
 \newpage
 
-If poly is queer, in that it's not relationship-normative, then I'm queer. If being trans is queer because it's not gender-normative, then I'm queer. If my identity blurs lines, then I'm queer.
+\noindent If poly is queer, in that it's not relationship-normative, then I'm queer. If being trans is queer because it's not gender-normative, then I'm queer. If my identity blurs lines, then I'm queer.
 
 If I'm in a relationship with someone, then, is that a queer relationship? Is my partner queer?
 
@@ -300,7 +300,7 @@ Yes, but you all spoke queer. None of you really spoke normative, a skill you're
 \end{ally}
 \newpage
 
-I've been married for seven years. Robin and I have been together for more than five. My polycule has grown steadily over the years, and I have to wonder: how much of my polyamory, my relationship anarchy is a coping mechanism for how I was raised?
+\noindent I've been married for seven years. Robin and I have been together for more than five. My polycule has grown steadily over the years, and I have to wonder: how much of my polyamory, my relationship anarchy is a coping mechanism for how I was raised?
 
 \begin{ally}
 Does it matter?

book/content/self-harm/self-harm.tex

@@ -133,7 +133,7 @@ Only I will remain.
 \end{ally}
 \newpage
 
-TIASAP stands for \emph{The Ill-Advised Self-Administration Period}.
+\noindent TIASAP stands for \emph{The Ill-Advised Self-Administration Period}.
 
 This is why.
 

book/content/self-harm/suicide.tex

@@ -27,7 +27,7 @@ Yes. I got to watch the agonal breathing that went on for far too long. I got to
 I'm not nostalgic for that pain, no. I'm nostalgic for the fact that I am who I am because I went through that. I'm nostalgic for what it came to symbolize. I'm nostalgic for its part in Madison's birth.
 \newpage
 
-It's not really so much that I have the need to write about what happened, even, as that, after something of such import, I feel the need to expose myself through writing, to force ideas out into the open whether or not they actually have anything to do with what's going on.
+\noindent It's not really so much that I have the need to write about what happened, even, as that, after something of such import, I feel the need to expose myself through writing, to force ideas out into the open whether or not they actually have anything to do with what's going on.
 
 \begin{ally}
 It goes beyond a desire. It becomes a necessity.
@@ -56,7 +56,7 @@ So.
 I tried to kill myself on March 21st, 2012. It was, as the epigram said, not a big deal; it was just my big deal.
 \newpage
 
-I'll be honest, I stole the concept of \emph{thisness}, the phrase, ``See, it is doing \emph{this} now'' from a science fiction book.
+\noindent I'll be honest, I stole the concept of \emph{thisness}, the phrase, ``See, it is doing \emph{this} now'' from a science fiction book.
 
 \begin{ally}
 I honestly expected nothing less.
@@ -115,7 +115,7 @@ You brought your anxiety, but not your depression. You thought you just had anxi
 No, and there's the problem.
 \newpage
 
-When I first started therapy, I did what I thought was the right thing by bringing an open mind. It wasn't enough for me to seek help, I had to be told what was wrong with me. So anxious was I to not diagnose myself, I had to let someone do the work to pry the symptoms from me.
+\noindent When I first started therapy, I did what I thought was the right thing by bringing an open mind. It wasn't enough for me to seek help, I had to be told what was wrong with me. So anxious was I to not diagnose myself, I had to let someone do the work to pry the symptoms from me.
 
 I didn't tell Dr Johnston that I was feeling bad. I told him my boss told me I was angry. I didn't tell him that I was depressed, I told him that James was worried about how anxious I was.
 
@@ -140,7 +140,7 @@ They removed a lot more than just the pain of panic.
 Yes.
 \newpage
 
-The problem of working with clients on a task with a specified end-goal, one that is finished and about which you can say, ``ah, it does \emph{this} now'', is that when the project is done, there is nothing left.
+\noindent The problem of working with clients on a task with a specified end-goal, one that is finished and about which you can say, ``ah, it does \emph{this} now'', is that when the project is done, there is nothing left.
 
 \begin{ally}
 This is a problem with any task. This is a grander problem.
@@ -167,7 +167,7 @@ You watched yourself with a metaphysical quirk of the eyebrow as you reached for
 And then the pain snapped me to.
 \newpage
 
-Okay, I lied. Just a little bit.
+\noindent Okay, I lied. Just a little bit.
 
 \begin{ally}
 Yes. You didn't dissociate through the entire thing. There was no small part of that scene that was horribly, terrfyingly intentional.
@@ -233,7 +233,7 @@ Both times. I started whispering his name, then eventually swallowed the miniscu
 Though the rest of the night in March is still sort of a blur --- I hadn't totally gotten out of the state that I was in, just woken up enough to engage with the mechanics --- I do remember James helping me to clean and bandage my arm as we sat on the floor of the bathroom, the dog occasionally wandering in and out. The whole time, I was still sobbing, blubbering out, ``I don't want to leave you, I don't want to leave Zephyr, I don't know why I did that, I'm sorry'' over and over again.
 \newpage
 
-I'm so tired.
+\noindent I'm so tired.
 
 \begin{ally}
 I know.
@@ -272,40 +272,45 @@ I locked myself in the bathroom and broke down again.
 Both James and Karl checked in on me throughout the next few hours, but it was mostly spent huddled up on the cold tile of the floor feeling awful about both myself and what I'd done --- that it had any effect on those around me was just starting to hit home. I will not lie that, several times throughout the night, I wished that I had succeeded in order to not be going through what I was going through at the time. I simply couldn't stand what I'd done.
 \newpage
 
-Things are totally out of control now.
+\begin{quotation}
+  Things are totally out of control now.
 
---- Maddy, whose tail is behind her (@drab\_makyo) March 23, 2012
+--- @drab\_makyo March 23, 2012
 
 On meds for anxiety now, but that seems to have just let loose something terrible. Tried to kill myself Wednesday night, spent all tonight--
 
---- Maddy, whose tail is behind her (@drab\_makyo) March 23, 2012
+--- @drab\_makyo March 23, 2012
 
 --obsessing about it, woke up Karl and James, then felt guilty and upset about it.
 
---- Maddy, whose tail is behind her (@drab\_makyo) March 23, 2012
+--- @drab\_makyo March 23, 2012
 
 It's not even really about anything, I'm just messed up, I guess.
 
---- Maddy, whose tail is behind her (@drab\_makyo) March 23, 2012
+--- @drab\_makyo March 23, 2012
 
 Days are spent in a surreality, both happy and unreasonably angry.
 
---- Maddy, whose tail is behind her (@drab\_makyo) March 23, 2012
+--- @drab\_makyo March 23, 2012
 
 I'm sorry you'll all wake up to a bunch of Matt freaking out, but I'm stuck :S
 
---- Maddy, whose tail is behind her (@drab\_makyo) March 23, 2012
+--- @drab\_makyo March 23, 2012
+\end{quotation}
 
 \begin{ally}
 Where's your tweet from this time?
 \end{ally}
+
+\begin{quotation}
 As someone who went to the ER last night and got 12 stitches only to find out that insurance ended on the 30th and I haven't received my COBRA paperwork yet so we'll see how fucked I am financially: mood. https://t.co/sil5Yf2617
 
---- Maddy, whose tail is behind her (@drab\_makyo) October 10, 2019
+--- @drab\_makyo October 10, 2019
 
 I'm okay. Just tired.
 
---- Maddy, whose tail is behind her (@drab\_makyo) October 10, 2019
+--- @drab\_makyo October 10, 2019
+\end{quotation}
 \newpage
 
 \begin{ally}
@@ -356,7 +361,7 @@ The office next to
 ``Well, you need to tell me if anything like that happens again.''
 \newpage
 
-I can't do this.
+\noindent I can't do this.
 
 \begin{ally}
 Of course you can.
@@ -374,7 +379,7 @@ Perhaps that's part of what snaps you back into place. Perhaps that's part of wh
 It's harder to \emph{not}.
 \newpage
 
-I can't do this anymore.
+\noindent I can't do this anymore.
 
 \begin{ally}
 This topic, or this project?
@@ -382,7 +387,7 @@ This topic, or this project?
 I don't know.
 \newpage
 
-Let's talk about something else. Please.
+\noindent Let's talk about something else. Please.
 
 \begin{ally}
 One more question, and then we can.

book/content/sex/kink.tex

@@ -1,3 +1,6 @@
+\fontspec{Gentium Book Basic}[Color=EEEEEEFF]
+\renewfontfamily\allyFont{Merriweather Sans}[Scale=0.9,Color=EEEEEEFF,Ligatures=TeX]
+
 \noindent What do you do when you've got a libido and relatively little will to act upon it?
 
 Delve into kink.
@@ -22,7 +25,7 @@ Beyond just fantasy fulfillment? A way to cope, I suppose.
 \begin{ally}
 I'm not really sure what to make of the fact that you made a bingo card for your kinks.
 \end{ally}
-Well, hey, hit bingo, and maybe I explode or something. Besides, \href{https://bbbingo.me}{bbbingo} was for a game jam.
+Well, hey, hit bingo, and maybe I explode or something. Besides, \emph{bbbingo} was for a game jam.
 
 \begin{ally}
 So tell me about your free space.

book/content/sex/rape.tex

@@ -1,3 +1,6 @@
+\fontspec{Gentium Book Basic}[Color=DCCCCCFF]
+\renewfontfamily\allyFont{Merriweather Sans}[Scale=0.9,Color=CBBBBBFF,Ligatures=TeX]
+
 \begin{ally}
 Tell me about rape.
 \end{ally}
@@ -9,7 +12,7 @@ Talk in circles around it, then, and then tell me why you won't tell me about it
 Fine.
 \newpage
 
-Let's say, as we have already, that you spend much of puberty up in your head, and then when you start branching out into engaging sexually with others, you do so in a purely intellectual way. One which involves some sort of platonic ideal of sexuality. You never feel awkward. Everything always just works.
+\noindent Let's say, as we have already, that you spend much of puberty up in your head, and then when you start branching out into engaging sexually with others, you do so in a purely intellectual way. One which involves some sort of platonic ideal of sexuality. You never feel awkward. Everything always just works.
 
 Let's just take that for granted.
 

book/content/sex/sex.tex

@@ -1,3 +1,6 @@
+\fontspec{Gentium Book Basic}[Color=111111FF]
+\renewfontfamily\allyFont{Merriweather Sans}[Scale=0.9,Color=333333FF,Ligatures=TeX]
+
 \noindent Cathleen Schine writes in \emph{The Evolution of Jane}:
 
 \begin{quotation}
@@ -28,7 +31,7 @@ And the best part of it all is that it didn't involve anyone else. Your fantasie
 It was a bit telling, wasn't it?
 \newpage
 
-How can one be sexual when the act of engaging in sex is so confusing, so anxiety-inducing as to be not worth it no matter how barked up one is?
+\noindent How can one be sexual when the act of engaging in sex is so confusing, so anxiety-inducing as to be not worth it no matter how barked up one is?
 
 \begin{ally}
 You're getting ahead of yourself. The solutions arrived before the problem made itself known.
@@ -69,7 +72,7 @@ Yes. The problem was that I wanted to experience arousal and climax, but not rea
 Even then, I'm not so sure.
 \newpage
 
-The problem was that I didn't really want sex. I loved the idea of it, loved reading and writing about it, loved ERP, loved consuming art, loved thinking about it, loved masturbating. I just didn't really love sex itself.
+\noindent The problem was that I didn't really want sex. I loved the idea of it, loved reading and writing about it, loved ERP, loved consuming art, loved thinking about it, loved masturbating. I just didn't really love sex itself.
 
 Not for lack of trying, mind. I played around with my partners, tamping down my anxiety and squeamishness in order to try and just enjoy myself, enjoy our times together. Often, I was at least reasonably successful, too. I still have fond memories of some fun romps.
 
@@ -140,13 +143,19 @@ Getting raped just kind of messes you up.
 Ah.
 \end{ally}
 So, let's talk about kink.
+
+\newpage
 \end{leftcolumn}
+\end{paracol}
+
+\backgroundcolor{c[1]}[rgb]{0.0902,0.0667,0.102}
+\backgroundcolor{C[1](0.5\columnsep,1000pt)(10000pt,10000pt)}[rgb]{0.0902,0.0667,0.102}
+\begin{paracol}{2}
 \begin{rightcolumn*}
 \input{content/sex/kink.tex}
-\input{content/sex/rape.tex}
 \end{rightcolumn*}
 \begin{leftcolumn}
-I can't let this go.
+\noindent I can't let this go.
 
 \begin{ally}
 Why not?
@@ -292,8 +301,17 @@ Because nothing was working.
 \end{ally}
 Yeah.
 \newpage
+\end{leftcolumn}
+\end{paracol}
 
-I feel it important to add that it's not that sex itself feels bad.
+\backgroundcolor{c[1]}[rgb]{0.2,0,0}
+\backgroundcolor{C[1](0.5\columnsep,1000pt)(10000pt,10000pt)}[rgb]{0.2,0,0}
+\begin{paracol}{2}
+  \begin{rightcolumn*}
+    \input{content/sex/rape.tex}
+  \end{rightcolumn*}
+  \begin{leftcolumn}
+\noindent I feel it important to add that it's not that sex itself feels bad.
 
 \begin{ally}
 Why?

book/content/writing/music.tex

@@ -63,7 +63,7 @@ Nope.
 \end{rightcolumn*}
 \begin{leftcolumn}
 
-Okay, you're right. It's not quite true that I left because of computers. I stopped playing the oboe after I ran away and moved schools. Band was already well underway, after all, and I couldn't join in partway through. They let me play the cymbal in one concert, but I basically gave up after that. We returned the rental oboe. I wouldn't touch an instrument in all seriousness until well into university.
+\noindent Okay, you're right. It's not quite true that I left because of computers. I stopped playing the oboe after I ran away and moved schools. Band was already well underway, after all, and I couldn't join in partway through. They let me play the cymbal in one concert, but I basically gave up after that. We returned the rental oboe. I wouldn't touch an instrument in all seriousness until well into university.
 
 And really, during all that time, there was no sense of regret, no sense of loss.
 
@@ -109,7 +109,7 @@ Lord help me, I have no idea why, but I did.
 \end{rightcolumn*}
 \begin{leftcolumn}
 
-When you're a choir kid, you're a choir kid.
+\noindent When you're a choir kid, you're a choir kid.
 
 \begin{ally}
 The first rule of the tautology club is the first rule of the tautology club.
@@ -164,7 +164,7 @@ As are a lot of social roles. Furries are nerdy because they're expected to be,
 When you're a choir kid and a boy and \emph{gay}, after all, well\ldots{}pff, of course. A boy in choir \emph{would} be gay.
 \newpage
 
-I tried to let go of choir when I went to university. I was all set to begin anew. I was going to live up to my parents' dreams of becoming an engineer.
+\noindent I tried to let go of choir when I went to university. I was all set to begin anew. I was going to live up to my parents' dreams of becoming an engineer.
 
 That, and I heard the choir perform during All-State my senior year of high school, and they weren't that good. the All-State choirs were better. My school's choirs were better. I didn't want to tarnish my feelings on choir by having my last few years in it be less than what I was used to.
 
@@ -209,7 +209,7 @@ No.
 Not the one I experienced.
 \newpage
 
-My senior recital did not go well.
+\noindent My senior recital did not go well.
 
 \begin{ally}
 Understatement.

book/content/writing/writing.tex

@@ -559,7 +559,8 @@ I suppose so.
 
 \begin{ally}
 Good luck, kid.
-\end{ally}\newpage
+\end{ally}
+\newpage
 
 \begin{ally}
 If this is about creativity, then tell me about composing.

book/includes/font.tex

@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@
 
 \usepackage{fontspec}
 \setmainfont{Gentium Book Basic}
-\newfontface\allyFont{Merriweather Sans Italic}[Scale=0.9,Color=444444FF,Ligatures=TeX]
+\newfontfamily\allyFont{Merriweather Sans}[Scale=0.9,Color=444444FF,Ligatures=TeX]
 \newfontfamily\TitleFamily{Inknut Antiqua}
 \newfontface\TitleFont{Inknut Antiqua}
 % \newfontfamily\DisplayFamily{Playfair Display}