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weight: 3
date: 2020-06-17
---

> I see now.

Are you me?

> Am I?

I don't know. I can't tell. I can't tell if you're me, if the adversary is me, if "that third-of-three parts, that part defined by negative space and shadow and blind spots" is me.

I can't tell if hypomanic Madison is me. I can't tell if depressed Madison is me.

Sometimes she feels separate. Depressed Madison, I mean. Sometimes she feels like another person who is doing different things, and I feel trapped up within my head, watching her act--

> Or not.

--or not, and I feel like nothing I say or do can get her to change the things she does or does not do. Nothing I say or do can change the way she feels.

The way I feel?

The way she feels when she's fronting?

> There is confusion here.

Yes. Confusion borne of new knowledge. What do I do with it? What do I do with these strangely-shaped thoughts?

> Talk around them in circles.

Ha ha.

> Am I wrong.

No.