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content/post/poetry/meaning-and-self.md

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+---
+categories:
+- Poem
+ratings: G
+date: 2017-02-12
+type: post
+tags:
+- Poetry
+- Family
+title: Meaning & Self
+---
+
+<pre class="verse">
+There's some duality between sources of meaning,
+    Between the types of stories we use to back identity.
+It's not quite good &amp; bad or light &amp; dark,
+    Though I'm not yet sure just how to define it.
+
+Dad used to punish the dogs
+    by locking then in the basement.
+If he was really mad,
+    he'd toss then down there by the scruff.
+
+Mom moved me &amp; her dogs to a new house &mdash;
+    moved us three days early during the divorce.
+Her dog punched my ex stepdad in the crotch the night before,
+    the nut-shot to end all nut-shots, &amp; our time there.
+
+Few things make me feel as deeply about life as parenthood,
+    even if it's just me caring for my dogs.
+Some reminders of that are intense enough to be raw, painful,
+    salt in the wounds of mortality, maybe, or the ache of maternal love.
+
+The meaning behind the story of me &amp; my dogs
+    comes with a story of its own, or maybe several.
+It's bound up in stories to come,
+    &amp; these stories nest infinitely deep.
+
+Remembering that &amp; shaping that,
+    It's a part of making the meaning in my life.
+This isn't better against worse,
+    it's not mom against dad.
+
+It's not a dichotomy at all, really,
+    now that I think about it.
+It's something subtler, comfortably complex, a topic of its own.
+    I guess it's just meaning &amp; self.
+</pre>