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Madison Scott-Clary
2021-09-07 11:48:11 -07:00
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<!--![A small preview...](/detail-sketch.jpg)-->
![A small preview...](/cover-front.jpg)
> To call what I am feeling a 'crush' feels inexact. It is not puppy love. It is not new relationship energy. It is not lust. It is an uncontrollable romantic desire.
>

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![Dee Kimana](/raw-full.png)
I wrap emotions in the cool embrace of jargon to soften sharp edges and take the sting out of ones I feel too keenly. It's why I got into this field. It's why I studied what I did. Of course I care for my clients, and of course I love what I do, but my reason for being here, for being a psychologist, is a simple insatiable need to explain away my emotions.
I've talked about it with my therapist at length[^therapist]. We talk about my need to hide behind words as a way of reducing my vulnerability. They become armor, cover, camouflage when taken in this sense.