Marsh updates

marsh/content/002.tex

@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@ I shook my head. ``That's not on me, you know that. We have a one-way relationsh
 
 ``But they're your down-tree instance! You're patterned after them. You talk every year \emph{at least} once, right? You'll talk to them later tonight, right? You have for the last hundred.''
 
-``No, probably not. If I hear from them directly, anything more than just a ping, I'll know something's gone horribly wrong.'' I leaned back --- carefully, what with her head resting on my shoulder. ``Like I say, it's a one-way relationship. All I do is live my own life, right? I stay in touch with the rest of the clade to greater or lesser extent, but Marsh has their own life.''
+``No, probably not. If I hear from them directly, anything more than just a ping, I'll know something's gone horribly wrong.'' I leaned back — carefully, what with her head resting on my shoulder. ``Like I say, it's a one-way relationship. All I do is live my own life, right? I stay in touch with the rest of the clade to greater or lesser extent, but Marsh has their own life.''
 
 ``They have several.''
 
@@ -94,11 +94,11 @@ Hanne laughed and shook her head, standing from the couch to go get herself a gl
 
 With a rush of intent, I forked, bringing into being beside me a new instance of myself. Exactly the same. \emph{Precisely}. Had such a thing any meaning to an upload, we would be the same down to the atomic level, to the subatomic. All of the memories, all of the personality, all of the history.
 
-For a fraction of a second, at least. From that point on, we began to diverge, each remembering things differently. The Reed that still sat on the couch heard Hanne in the kitchen from \emph{this} angle, yet the one that stood beside the couch heard her from that. The one that sat on the couch felt the fire on his cheek, the one standing felt it on his back. I watched this other Reed --- a new instance of me without these demanding memories, one who would not have the shared memories of my up-tree cocladists --- wander off to the bedroom to presumably stay out of the way while I processed.
+For a fraction of a second, at least. From that point on, we began to diverge, each remembering things differently. The Reed that still sat on the couch heard Hanne in the kitchen from \emph{this} angle, yet the one that stood beside the couch heard her from that. The one that sat on the couch felt the fire on his cheek, the one standing felt it on his back. I watched this other Reed — a new instance of me without these demanding memories, one who would not have the shared memories of my up-tree cocladists — wander off to the bedroom to presumably stay out of the way while I processed.
 
-I closed my eyes to turn down one of my senses, setting the sweet-smelling glass of brandy aside to rid myself of another as best I could. I sat and spent a moment processing, savoring the memories. Rush had merged down first; ve had split off a new copy of verself, and then the original had quit. On doing so, all the memories ve'd formed over the last however long fell down onto me, ready to be remembered like some forgotten word on the tip of my tongue: all I needed to do is actually remember. Clearly, Tule had already forked and merged back down into Sedge, as their combined memories piled yet more weight on me. Three sets of memories --- two from my direct up-tree instances and one from a second-degree up-tree instance --- rested on my mind, ready for integration.
+I closed my eyes to turn down one of my senses, setting the sweet-smelling glass of brandy aside to rid myself of another as best I could. I sat and spent a moment processing, savoring the memories. Rush had merged down first; ve had split off a new copy of verself, and then the original had quit. On doing so, all the memories ve'd formed over the last however long fell down onto me, ready to be remembered like some forgotten word on the tip of my tongue: all I needed to do is actually remember. Clearly, Tule had already forked and merged back down into Sedge, as their combined memories piled yet more weight on me. Three sets of memories — two from my direct up-tree instances and one from a second-degree up-tree instance — rested on my mind, ready for integration.
 
-There'd be time for Marsh to do their full perusal and remembering later. It was rapidly approaching midnight, and I needed to get the memories sorted into my own, interleaved and zippered together into as cohesive a whole as best I could manage, all conflicts addressed --- though with as separate as their lives had been until then, there was thankfully quite little in the way of conflicting memories --- so that, shortly before midnight, I could quit and let all those memories --- those of Rush, Sedge, Tule, and myself --- fall to Marsh to process, savor, and treasure for themself, while that new copy of me, off making the bed or simply taking some quiet, lived out the next year with Hanne, with all their joys and sorrows.
+There'd be time for Marsh to do their full perusal and remembering later. It was rapidly approaching midnight, and I needed to get the memories sorted into my own, interleaved and zippered together into as cohesive a whole as best I could manage, all conflicts addressed — though with as separate as their lives had been until then, there was thankfully quite little in the way of conflicting memories — so that, shortly before midnight, I could quit and let all those memories — those of Rush, Sedge, Tule, and myself — fall to Marsh to process, savor, and treasure for themself, while that new copy of me, off making the bed or simply taking some quiet, lived out the next year with Hanne, with all their joys and sorrows.
 
 After so many New Years Eves, this had all become routine. Some years, I kept the memories, some not. It had been a nearly a decade since I'd bothered, and there didn't seem to be any reason to do different this year.
 
@@ -140,7 +140,7 @@ She rolled her eyes. ``\makebox[0pt][l]{\hspace*{1pt}\raisebox{-0.5pt}{\includeg
 \newpage
 \null
 
-\chapter*{Reed --- 2401}
+\chapter*{Reed — 2401}
 \pagestyle{ourbook}
 
 ``See? You're so weird.''
@@ -149,7 +149,7 @@ She rolled her eyes. ``\makebox[0pt][l]{\hspace*{1pt}\raisebox{-0.5pt}{\includeg
 
 ``Right, sorry. Still, uh\ldots still fifteen minutes.'' She grumbled and rubbed at her face. ``Sorry if that came off as rude. I guess it's just outside my understanding.''
 
-I scooted up onto the couch, myself, sitting cross-legged to face her. ``It's okay. It's not wrong, come to think of it, I just don't think it's wholly right, either, you know? It's more a matter of intent. Our intent is to live our own lives doing as we will rather than as they would, and it's their intent to let us do so --- and by not interfering, even with communication, \emph{force} us to do so --- and yet still be able to experience that almost like a dream. They forked us off a century ago, me, Lily, and Cress, and we've been doing it ever since, and it's worked out well enough since then. They're more than just Marsh, now. They're Marsh and all of us. If all this--'' I waved around the room, feeling the gentle spin of drunkenness follow the movement, ``--is just a dream, if we're all doing our best to dream in unison with each other, then I think intent may be all that we have, right? However many billion or trillion people have uploaded are all trying to dream the same dream together, all mixed up and poured into the same System, we have to form what meanings we may on our own.''
+I scooted up onto the couch, myself, sitting cross-legged to face her. ``It's okay. It's not wrong, come to think of it, I just don't think it's wholly right, either, you know? It's more a matter of intent. Our intent is to live our own lives doing as we will rather than as they would, and it's their intent to let us do so — and by not interfering, even with communication, \emph{force} us to do so — and yet still be able to experience that almost like a dream. They forked us off a century ago, me, Lily, and Cress, and we've been doing it ever since, and it's worked out well enough since then. They're more than just Marsh, now. They're Marsh and all of us. If all this--'' I waved around the room, feeling the gentle spin of drunkenness follow the movement, ``--is just a dream, if we're all doing our best to dream in unison with each other, then I think intent may be all that we have, right? However many billion or trillion people have uploaded are all trying to dream the same dream together, all mixed up and poured into the same System, we have to form what meanings we may on our own.''
 
 ``I think we broke two trillion instances a while back. I don't know how may uploads, but I don't think it's hit a trillion yet.''
 
@@ -167,11 +167,11 @@ With a press of will, I forked, bringing into being beside the couch a new insta
 
 For a fraction of a second, at least. From there, we began to diverge, each remembering things differently. The Reed that still sat on the couch heard Hanne rummaging in the kitchen from \emph{this} angle, and yet the one that stood beside the couch heard her from that. The one that sat on the couch felt the fire on his cheek, the one standing felt it on his back.
 
-I closed my eyes to turn down one of my senses, taking one more sip of the sweet-smelling brandy before setting it aside to rid myself of another two as best I could. I sat and spent a moment processing, savoring the memories. Rush had merged down first; ve had split off a new copy of verself then the original had quit. On doing so, all the memories ve'd formed over the last year fell down onto me, ready to be remembered like some forgotten word on the tip of my tongue: all I needed to do was actually remember. Clearly, Tule had already forked and merged back down into Sedge, as their combined memories piled yet more weight on me. Three sets of memories --- two from my direct up-tree instances and one from a second-degree up-tree instance --- rested on my mind, ready for integration.
+I closed my eyes to turn down one of my senses, taking one more sip of the sweet-smelling brandy before setting it aside to rid myself of another two as best I could. I sat and spent a moment processing, savoring the memories. Rush had merged down first; ve had split off a new copy of verself then the original had quit. On doing so, all the memories ve'd formed over the last year fell down onto me, ready to be remembered like some forgotten word on the tip of my tongue: all I needed to do was actually remember. Clearly, Tule had already forked and merged back down into Sedge, as their combined memories piled yet more weight on me. Three sets of memories — two from my direct up-tree instances and one from a second-degree up-tree instance — rested on my mind, ready for integration.
 
-There would be time for full perusal and remembering later. It was rapidly approaching midnight, and I needed to get the memories sorted into my own, interleaved and zippered together into as cohesive a whole as I could manage, all --- or, at least, almost all --- conflicts addressed (though with as separate as their lives had been until then, there was thankfully quite little in the way of conflicting memories), so that, shortly before midnight, I could quit, myself, letting that new copy of myself live out the next year with Hanne, with all their joys and sorrows, while my original instance quit and let all those memories --- those of Rush, Sedge, Tule, and myself --- fall to Marsh to process, savor, and treasure for themself.
+There would be time for full perusal and remembering later. It was rapidly approaching midnight, and I needed to get the memories sorted into my own, interleaved and zippered together into as cohesive a whole as I could manage, all — or, at least, almost all — conflicts addressed (though with as separate as their lives had been until then, there was thankfully quite little in the way of conflicting memories), so that, shortly before midnight, I could quit, myself, letting that new copy of myself live out the next year with Hanne, with all their joys and sorrows, while my original instance quit and let all those memories — those of Rush, Sedge, Tule, and myself — fall to Marsh to process, savor, and treasure for themself.
 
-After so many New Years Eves, it had all become routine. Some years, I kept the memories, some not. It had been a nearly a decade since I'd bothered --- I always checked with Rush, Sedge, and Tule before keeping their memories --- and there didn't seem to be any reason to do different this year.
+After so many New Years Eves, it had all become routine. Some years, I kept the memories, some not. It had been a nearly a decade since I'd bothered — I always checked with Rush, Sedge, and Tule before keeping their memories — and there didn't seem to be any reason to do different this year.
 
 I heard Hanne return, heard her climb back onto the couch before me, felt her press a cold glass of water into my hand.
 
@@ -209,7 +209,7 @@ Then frowned.
 
 I held up a finger and closed my eyes. Once more, I thought to myself, \emph{I'm ready to quit}, then then willed that to be reality.
 
-Rather than the sudden nothingness --- or sudden oneness for Marsh --- that should have followed, I felt the System balk. Resist. I felt an elastic sensation that I'd never felt before. There was a barrier between me and the ability to quit. I felt it, tested it, probed and explored. It was undeniably present, and though I sensed that I could probably have pressed through it if I desired, it was as though Lagrange desperately did not want me to quit. It didn't want the Reed of now to leave the System.
+Rather than the sudden nothingness — or sudden oneness for Marsh — that should have followed, I felt the System balk. Resist. I felt an elastic sensation that I'd never felt before. There was a barrier between me and the ability to quit. I felt it, tested it, probed and explored. It was undeniably present, and though I sensed that I could probably have pressed through it if I desired, it was as though Lagrange desperately did not want me to quit. It didn't want the Reed of now to leave the System.
 
 ``I can't.''
 
@@ -247,7 +247,7 @@ Pinged Cress, the other fork. Asked, \emph{``Cress? Can you--''}
 
 00:04.
 
-Cress arrived almost immediately along with Tule --- they shared a partner, so it made sense they'd be together for the evening --- leading Hanne to start back on the couch. ``Reed,'' she said, voice low. ``What is--''
+Cress arrived almost immediately along with Tule — they shared a partner, so it made sense they'd be together for the evening — leading Hanne to start back on the couch. ``Reed,'' she said, voice low. ``What is--''
 
 Lily arrived next, dusty and dishevelled from her day in some mountainous sim, already rushing forward to grab my shoulder. ``You can't either?'' she said, voice full of panic.
 
@@ -259,7 +259,7 @@ The rest of the clade looked to me as well, and I quailed under so many gazes. `
 
 00:07.
 
-Silence fell thick across the room. The clade --- Marsh's clade --- stared, wide-eyed. Their expressions ranged from unsure to terrified. I couldn't even begin to imagine what expression showed on my face.
+Silence fell thick across the room. The clade — Marsh's clade — stared, wide-eyed. Their expressions ranged from unsure to terrified. I couldn't even begin to imagine what expression showed on my face.
 
 ``Okay, no, hold on,'' Hanne said, shaking her head and waving her hand. She appeared to have willed drunkenness away, much as I had, as her voice was clear, holding more frustration than the panic I felt. ``Did they quit? They couldn't have, right? You just pinged them earlier today.''
 
@@ -317,7 +317,7 @@ At this, both Vos and Pierre took a half-step back, looking startled.
 
 I spent a moment composing myself. I stood up straighter, brushing my hands down over my shirt, and nodded. ``Right. I'm sorry, hon. When midnight hit, I forked and tried to quit as usual. I couldn't, though. The System wouldn't let me.''
 
-Cress and Tule's partner, I Remember The Rattle Of Dry Grass of the Ode clade, stood up stock straight, all grogginess --- or perhaps drunkenness --- from the party fleeing her features.
+Cress and Tule's partner, I Remember The Rattle Of Dry Grass of the Ode clade, stood up stock straight, all grogginess — or perhaps drunkenness — from the party fleeing her features.
 
 ``That's only supposed to happen when quitting would mean the loss of too much memory, though. The root instance can barely quit at all in the older clades--'' Dry Grass winced. I did my best to ignore it and continued. ``--because the System really doesn't like losing a life if it won't be merged down into a down-tree instance.''
 
@@ -331,7 +331,7 @@ I frowned. ``Perhaps not all that, but it certainly felt like I was trying to pu
 
 ``Like death,'' she muttered again. Pierre began to cry. ``Marsh is not on the System, then, no.''
 
-``So are they\ldots is Marsh dead?'' Pierre whispered, his voice clouded by tears. Vos towered over him --- over all of us, really --- and had always seemed as though she could weather a storm better than any stone, but now, even she looked suddenly frail, fragile in the face of the loss they were all only talking around.
+``So are they\ldots is Marsh dead?'' Pierre whispered, his voice clouded by tears. Vos towered over him — over all of us, really — and had always seemed as though she could weather a storm better than any stone, but now, even she looked suddenly frail, fragile in the face of the loss they were all only talking around.
 
 ``They are not on the System,'' Dry Grass and I echoed in unison.
 
@@ -465,7 +465,7 @@ Lily pointedly looked away.
 
 ``Wait,'' Cress said. ``So they're saying that there's a problem with the DSN and the station? How do you mean?''
 
-``There are few --- surprisingly few --- messages from over the last thirteen months, but they are queued up as though they have been held until now. There has been no contact between the LVs or Artemis and Lagrange.'' There was a pause as Dry Grass's gaze drifted, clearly scanning more of those messages. ``Most messages have been discarded\ldots only a few from the Guiding Council on Pollux plus a few clades on Castor\ldots have been let through\ldots outgoing messages are ungated\ldots{}''
+``There are few — surprisingly few — messages from over the last thirteen months, but they are queued up as though they have been held until now. There has been no contact between the LVs or Artemis and Lagrange.'' There was a pause as Dry Grass's gaze drifted, clearly scanning more of those messages. ``Most messages have been discarded\ldots only a few from the Guiding Council on Pollux plus a few clades on Castor\ldots have been let through\ldots outgoing messages are ungated\ldots{}''
 
 ``There's a bit about that in news from phys-side, actually,'' Sedge said, looking thoughtful. ``Communications failure on the Lagrange station. Something about aging technology. The DSN was also having problems so a few new repeaters were launched. Some from the station, even.''
 
@@ -489,7 +489,7 @@ I stole a glance at Lily. She looked to be spending every joule of energy on kee
 
 There had been an enormous row within the clade when first Cress, then Tule, had gotten in a relationship with a member of the Ode clade. Most of the Marshans had largely written off the stories of the Ode clade's political meddling as overly fantastic schlock, yet more myths to keep the functionally immortal entertained. Even if they had their basis in truth, they remained only stories.
 
-Lily, however, had had an immediate and dramatic reaction, cutting contact with the rest of the clade --- including Marsh --- for more than a year. She had even refused to merge down for years until tempers had settled.
+Lily, however, had had an immediate and dramatic reaction, cutting contact with the rest of the clade — including Marsh — for more than a year. She had even refused to merge down for years until tempers had settled.
 
 Hanne spoke up. ``Listen, can we maybe give this a bit to play out? I need to sleep, and if Reed doesn't take a break, he's going to explode.''
 
@@ -537,7 +537,7 @@ How could I stand, knowing as I did that the clade had become unmoored? How coul
 
 I sighed, nodded dully, and let her pull me to my feet.
 
-I swayed for a moment, feeling reality shift unsteadily beneath me. Once I straightened up, I followed Hanne off to our bedroom. We'd spent the previous night, as we often did, sleeping in two separate beds --- I always got too warm sleeping next to someone --- but any grounding force feels welcome now, so, with a gesture, the two beds slid together, merging seamlessly into one.
+I swayed for a moment, feeling reality shift unsteadily beneath me. Once I straightened up, I followed Hanne off to our bedroom. We'd spent the previous night, as we often did, sleeping in two separate beds — I always got too warm sleeping next to someone — but any grounding force feels welcome now, so, with a gesture, the two beds slid together, merging seamlessly into one.
 
 A hollow feeling bubbled up within me. The two beds merging into one was an image of something now well beyond the Marsh clade. I was thankful I'd already cried myself dry.
 

marsh/content/010.tex

@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 I was left that night with a sense of having taken a step forward. It wasn't completion by any stretch, I hadn't made any dramatic decisions, hadn't changed anything, really, except getting dinner with a polycule and talked about feelings.
 
-I \emph{had} made that small decision, though, the decision to continue to think about these feelings on Dry Grass lingering after the merge.
+I \emph{had} made that small decision, though: the decision to continue to think about these feelings on Dry Grass lingering after the merge.
 
 The immediate outcome of this was a hug and a conversation. The hug came from Dry Grass after dinner. She asked, I said yes, it was a mix of awkward and pleasant. The conversation came when I got home and spoke to Hanne.
 
@@ -22,7 +22,7 @@ I nodded. ``Not denying that, just that I think Tule had\ldots well, it's not th
 
 ``Except for Cress?''
 
-``Yeah, except for Cress. He thinks of it all the time. He really loves it. I'm old enough to remember the taboo around intraclade relationships, but it's also been a few decades since that fell apart, and a few years since Cress, Tule, and Dry Grass formally made it a triad, so I'm used to it by now.''
+``Yeah, except for Cress. He thinks of it all the time. He really loves it. I'm old enough to remember the taboo around intraclade relationships, but it's also been a few decades since that fell apart — I think close to six now — and a few years since Cress, Tule, and Dry Grass formally made it a triad, so I'm used to it by now.''
 
 ``Well, fair enough. Everything else was just boring, then?''
 
@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@ I nodded. ``Not denying that, just that I think Tule had\ldots well, it's not th
 
 She nodded.
 
-``I don't know yet. I'm still feeling kind of split on my feelings. Having memories of her as an acquaintance clashing with memories of her as a partner is still too stark a difference.'' I snorted. ``Not to mention this all feeling like a distraction from all of the other problems at hand. Worrying about what she means to me feels like energy not being spent on trying to figure out what happened.''
+``I don't know yet. I'm still kind of split on my feelings. Having memories of her as an acquaintance clashing with memories of her as a partner is still too stark a difference.'' I snorted. ``Not to mention this all feeling like a distraction from all of the other problems at hand. Worrying about what she means to me feels like energy not being spent on trying to figure out what happened.''
 
 ``You're all such workaholics.''
 
@@ -48,7 +48,7 @@ I spent the rest of the evening at home, lounging on the couch while Hanne slouc
 
 Sedge had gone to sleep for a bit, but as she woke up, she caught me up on news from when she'd been dozing. The politicians had drafted a letter explaining what had happened on a technological level to post on the largest of the perisystem feeds. Much of it was information that we'd gained from the AVEC session with the phys-side techs, explaining that nearly 1\% of the System had been wiped out and deemed unrecoverable, that there had been a mass crashing event, that the world was assumed stable and the issue had been patched.
 
-Conspicuously missing was any mention of a CPV attack, any mention that everyone — all 2.3 trillion of us — had crashed, or that messages were being gated and censored. Sedge explained that the last had included some gentle untruths. Rather than this being a political effort, this had been phrased as ``slowly bringing Lagrange up to full capacity''. It wasn't wrong, \emph{per se,} they really were working on bringing the feeds up to full capacity; it's just that the problem was political rather than technical.
+Conspicuously missing was any mention of CPV, any mention that everyone — all 2.3 trillion of us — had crashed, or that messages were being gated and censored. Sedge explained that the last had included some gentle untruths. Rather than this being a political effort, this had been phrased as ``slowly bringing Lagrange up to full capacity''. It wasn't wrong, \emph{per se,} they really were working on bringing the feeds up to full capacity; it's just that the problem was political rather than technical.
 
 Dry Grass, in our own conversations, explained that there were already rumors flying about, and that these were being subtly steered by Odists, Jonases, Selena, and, to a lesser extent, what she called `the opposition party', a group of clades led by Debarre who had settled into an uneasy truce with the others some decades back. Rumors were being nudged away from ``an attack by the Artemisians'' and towards ``solar flares or a power failure''.
 
@@ -66,7 +66,7 @@ There was a shrug, felt rather than seen. \emph{``I guess not. It's just hard fo
 
 \emph{``I don't mean the logistics, Reed.''} I could hear the smirk in her words. \emph{``Or not} just \emph{the logistics — Sedge has been keeping me up to date, yeah — but just keeping up with the rest of you. Cress and Tule are glued to her side, which, fair enough. Sedge has found her in with the rest of the politicians through her. You've been hanging out with her through Sedge. Rush is off gallivanting with some other Odist\ldots``}
 
-I sighed, steeled myself. \emph{``Well, yeah, fair enough. I've also been spending time with her because I got pulled into being a bit of an organizer for everyone else, and because I kept Tule's merge.''}
+I sighed, steeled myself. \emph{``Well, yeah, fair enough. I've also been spending time with her because I got pulled into being a bit of management for everyone else, and because I kept Tule's merge.''}
 
 \emph{``You did? God, now} you're \emph{going to wind up glued to her side, too,``} she replied after a moment of parsing out the ramifications. She laughed, though I couldn't judge just how earnest it was. \emph{``But hey, it is what it is, right? This is why I want to keep up with you all. I'm out here trying to check in on friends, too, I don't want to wind up losing sight of the clade.''}
 
@@ -88,7 +88,7 @@ The final camp I eventually tagged `work'. These were a handful of messages, mos
 
 I read these more slowly. Where there were questions, I answered as I could or, if not, delegated to the rest of the clade or other friends. Where my own attention was requested, I gave my opinions as I had them.
 
-I'd apparently been tapped as one of the organizers, a sort of liaison between our two clades, one who, as one of the messages hinted, had his shit together in a way that the rest of the clade did not. I counted myself flattered, though it also rankled that that had become my defining feature while I felt like I was only flailing, trying to pin down emotions while kicking myself for not doing more to directly address the clade's own problems. How could I be a manager when I couldn't even figure out my own problems?
+I'd apparently been tapped as one of the organizers, a sort of liaison between those involved, one who, as one of the messages hinted, had his shit together in a way that the rest of the clade did not. I counted myself flattered, though it also rankled that that had become my defining feature while I felt like I was only flailing, trying to pin down emotions while kicking myself for not doing more to directly address the clade's own problems. How could I be a manager when I couldn't even figure out my own problems?
 
 I put a halt to that line of thinking by repeatedly telling myself that my problems were now almost universal, that the feelings around Marsh being missing were now feelings that were being felt by millions, if not billions, of people all over Lagrange.
 
@@ -122,7 +122,7 @@ Dry Grass guided the two of us through the workroom, picking up more instances a
 
 ``SERG?''
 
-``System Emergency Response Group, one of the many groups of systechs. He may request greater access to the lower levels of the System's functionalities.'' She smiled faintly, tapping one last person — Debarre, as it turned out — on the shoulder. ``I am having to ramp up on all of this quite quickly. I stepped away from my role as systech a long, \emph{long} time ago, with a long-lived up-tree taking over my role.''
+``System Emergency Response Group, one of the many, \emph{many} groups of systechs. He may request greater access to the lower levels of the System's functionalities.'' She smiled faintly, tapping one last person — Debarre, as it turned out — on the shoulder. ``I am having to ramp up on all of this quite quickly. I stepped away from my role as systech a long, \emph{long} time ago, with a long-lived up-tree taking over my role.''
 
 ``They can't merge down?''
 
@@ -142,7 +142,7 @@ I'd had little to do with sim manipulation beyond simply expanding or reducing b
 
 About twenty people had shown up. It didn't seem to be twenty clades — there were two Odists, after all, with Dry Grass and another from the eighth stanza, Why Ask Questions When The Answers Will Not Help — but the audience remained diverse. Only about half appeared to be human of some sort, with the Marshans, Odists, and Jonases accounting for most of those. I suppose it made sense, given the Odists' social circle, but that didn't quite tally with what I knew of Jonas's role in the leadership of the System. He didn't strike me as a furry.
 
-When asked over a sensorium message, Dry Grass replied, \emph{``The eighth stanza has been slowly tamping down on Jonas's role over the years. He has not been nearly as grounded as he once was. Prime quit in grand fashion some years back, and the rest are beginning to recognize that.''} She cast a slight smile in my direction, adding, \emph{``Too singularly focused, perhaps. All work and no play makes Jonas lose his fucking =.''}
+When asked over a sensorium message, Dry Grass replied, \emph{``The eighth stanza has been slowly tamping down on Jonas's role over the years. He has not been nearly as grounded as he once was. Prime quit in grand fashion some years back, and the rest have long since recognized that.''} She cast a slight smile in my direction, adding, \emph{``Too singularly focused, perhaps. All work and no play makes Jonas lose his fucking marbles.''}
 
 I stifled a laugh. It probably shouldn't have been funny, but the absurdity of the comment clashed just right with the mirrored absurdity of the situation. Probably best not to laugh in front of everyone.
 
@@ -158,7 +158,7 @@ Günay nodded. ``Yep. At least, I remember Dry Grass and Jonas and Debarre and S
 
 The systech nodded again. ``Alright.''
 
-``Reed, he/him, and Sedge, she/her, of the Marsh clade lost their root instance, a loss of 14\%. We Odists have lost 2\% of our number, including two lines of the Ode and a few long-lived up-tree instances. The Jonas clade has lost approximately 3\% of their number. Andréa C. Mason, she/her, and Harvey, he/him, of the CERES clade have been hit particularly hard,'' she said, gesturing to an anthropomorphic coyote and goat across the table, ``with Andréa's subclade losing 99.983\% of their number, totalling 69,760 instances destroyed.''
+``Reed, he/him, and Sedge, she/her, of the Marsh clade lost their root instance, a loss of 14\%. We Odists have lost 2\% of our number, including two lines of the Ode and a few long-lived up-tree instances. The Jonas clade has lost approximately 3\% of their number. Andréa C. Mason, she/her, and Harvey, he/him, of the CERES clade have been hit particularly hard,'' she said, gesturing to an anthropomorphic coyote and goat across the table, ``with Andréa's subclade losing 99.983\% of their number, totalling about 70,000 instances destroyed.''
 
 There was a long moment of silence before Günay whispered, ``What the fuck.''
 
@@ -170,13 +170,13 @@ Günay nodded, expression lingering in shock even as the Odist continued around
 
 She frowned, blinked a few times, then said cautiously, ``Okay.''
 
-``He also confirmed that this was an intentional attack on Lagrange. Some sort of widespread CPV event.''
+``He also confirmed that this was an intentional attack on Lagrange. Some sort of deliberate widespread CPV event.''
 
 Silence fell around the table. Each of us processed this in our own way, whether that was the shock from the clades who had just been roped into the meeting to the exhaustion on Dry Grass's face, the wariness on Günay's features to the almost smug satisfaction in Jonas's. He looked to be almost purring, as though springing this information on everyone present was a joy in its own right.
 
 ``So, now that NDAs are out of the picture and we've torn Mr.~Strzepek a new one,'' he continued after a moment. ``Can you tell us what happened?''
 
-``Uh\ldots hold on,'' Günay said hoarsely. She reached out of view of the AVEC recorder to grab a bottle of water, taking a long drink. She seemed to be buying time, organizing her thoughts, consulting her HUD. ``Promise you won't tear \emph{me} a new one?''
+``Uh\ldots hold on. I'm catching up too,'' Günay said hoarsely. She reached out of view of the AVEC recorder to grab a bottle of water, taking a long drink. She seemed to be buying time, organizing her thoughts, consulting her HUD. ``Promise you won't tear \emph{me} a new one?''
 
 I was caught off guard by the humor, but many of the others around the table chuckled.
 
@@ -196,7 +196,7 @@ The systech chuckled nervously, nodding. ``Well, alright. Then yeah, Jonas has i
 
 Answers Will Not Help spoke up during a break in the recitation. ``Is there more information on this collective? Are they conservatives? How tight is their integration? Do they mimic clades like the old-style collectives?''
 
-``Oh, uh, one moment, I'll look that up once I'm finished,'' Günay said. ``It goes on to say that, through investigation, members from several other collectives and some individuals besides were implicated and were also detained. During one of the System restarts between the Century Attack — as we've been calling it — and now, this information was confirmed by having an investigator sys-side fork rapidly to gather information and take action where needed. They were provided with emergency global ACLs and, once they found the perpetrator, they locked them in an unpopulated airlocked implementation of the System.''
+``Oh, uh, one moment, I'll look that up once I'm finished,'' Günay said. ``It goes on to say that, through investigation, members from some other collectives and several individuals besides were implicated and were also detained. During one of the System restarts between the Century Attack — as we've been calling it — and now, this information was confirmed by having an investigator sys-side fork rapidly to gather information and take action where needed. They were provided with emergency global ACLs and, once they found the perpetrator, they locked them in an unpopulated airlocked implementation of the System.''
 
 ``The System was restarted more than once?'' Debarre asked, taken aback.
 
@@ -218,9 +218,9 @@ Both forked, and the up-tree instances stepped around the table to face each oth
 
 Answers Will Not Help stiffened where she stood, teeth clenched.
 
-Explaining as he unfolded the knife with a snick, Jonas Fa gestured expansively around the room. ``So, if you've read any of the scandalous works about us, you can probably guess that we all have CPV mixed up for each other. It's nothing as grand as the stories make it sound like, though; just a way for us to keep each other in check and occasionally play around.''
+Explaining as he unfolded the knife with a snick, Jonas Fa gestured expansively around the room. ``So, if you've read any of the scandalous works about us, you can probably guess that we all have CPV mixed up for each other. It's nothing as grand as the stories make it sound like, though; just a way for us to keep each other in check and occasionally\ldots play around.''
 
-Before anyone had a chance to ask any further questions, he swiped out with the knife, catching Answers Will Not Help in the cheek, leaving a gash that quickly welled up with blood. There was no noise from the Odist for a few moments before she finally let out a shaky breath.
+Before anyone had a chance to ask any further questions, he swiped out with the knife, catching Answers Will Not Help in the cheek, leaving a gash that quickly welled up with blood. There was no noise from the Odist for a few moments before she finally let out a shaky sigh.
 
 There was, notably, no crashing. She simply dabbed at her cheek, inspected the blood on her fingertips, grinned wildly to Jonas, and said, ``Oh, we are \emph{so} fucked,'' and then quit, followed shortly by the second Jonas.
 
@@ -262,7 +262,7 @@ An uncomfortable murmur interrupted her.
 
 Dry Grass smiled kindly. ``Of course, Günay. What did they say in return?''
 
-``To us? A lot of panicked messages requesting as many updates we could give them. Of course, by then, the messages were eight months out of date, and we'd been sending them hourly updates on the status of Lagrange for quite a while. They were broken down into buckets based on content: personal, political, technical, and vague threats.'' She smiled wryly. ``I only really know all of that because I was privy to the technical bucket. Systechs on both of the LVs teamed up and started throwing ideas at us as fast as they could. They were mostly not any help, given the delay, but some of them had good ideas — especially the Artemisians. They brought casualties down from 15\%.''
+``To us? A lot of panicked messages requesting as many updates we could give them. Of course, by then, the messages were eight months out of date, and we'd been sending them hourly updates on the status of Lagrange for quite a while. They were broken down into buckets based on content: personal, political, technical, and vague threats.'' She smiled wryly. ``I only really know all of that because I was privy to the technical bucket. Systechs on both of the LVs teamed up and started throwing ideas at us as fast as they could. They were mostly not any help, given the delay, but some of them were useful — especially the Artemisians. They brought casualties down from 15\%.''
 
 I started to do the math in my head, but Harvey blurted out, ``345 \emph{billion!} Holy shit! You've gotta be fucking kidding me.''
 
@@ -280,7 +280,7 @@ We waited as patiently as we could while the systech tallied up various changes.
 
 \emph{``That's the one that got a bunch of your cocladists, right?''} I asked.
 
-\emph{``Well, `got' is perhaps not a great word for it. Qoheleth was assassinated using CPV loaded into a syringe and a hundred or so instances of Sasha, back when she was True Name, were murdered by Jonas Prime,''} she sent. \emph{``But also it is something that some of us have used intentionally for various reasons. Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled, our very weird instance artist, included it quite often in its exhibitions, and What Gifts We Give We Give In Death tried using it in some games they were designing, but it was seen as too transgressive and was roundly shut down.''}
+\emph{``Well, `got' is perhaps not a great word for it. Qoheleth was assassinated using CPV loaded into a syringe and a hundred or so instances of Sasha, back when she was True Name, were murdered by Jonas Prime,''} she sent. \emph{``But also it is something that some of us have used intentionally for various reasons. Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled, our very weird instance artist, included it quite often in its exhibitions, and What Gifts We Give We Give In Death tried using it in some games they were designing, but it was seen as too transgressive and was roundly shut down. Answers Will Not Help seemed\ldots not} too \emph{put out by that little display''}
 
 Sedge stifled a giggle beside me. \emph{``You guys are} all \emph{weird.''}
 
@@ -294,7 +294,7 @@ She held up her hands defensively. ``Hey, like I said, it's just a change, and I
 
 ``I am sorry, Günay,'' Dry Grass said. ``You are right that that is a conversation for another time. Tell us about these ACL improvements and merging improvements. Those are likely to be the most relevant to everyone here.''
 
-``Right,'' she said, frowning. ``Well, the ACL improvements allow locking cladists within sims. We needed this to contain the perpetrator, but left it in place. We came up with a suggested protocol with the ethics committee, though, that would mean a two step approval process — phys-side and sys-side — as well as a mandatory waiting period. It's disabled for now, but we can re-enable it whenever.
+``Right,'' she said, frowning. ``Well, the ACL improvements allow locking cladists within sims. We needed this to contain the perpetrator as quickly as possible, but left it in place. We came up with a suggested protocol with the ethics committee, though, that would mean a two step approval process — phys-side and sys-side — as well as a mandatory waiting period. It's disabled for now, but we can re-enable it whenever.
 
 ``The merge improvements involve finer-grained conflict management, which is more just an efficiency thing; we're told nothing changed subjectively. We also enabled cross-tree merging.''
 
@@ -330,6 +330,8 @@ Once we'd made our goodbyes and the AVEC call had ended, we sat in silence for n
 
 Laughter around the table.
 
-``Holy shit, indeed, love,'' Dry Grass said, scooting her chair closer to rest her head on Sedge's shoulder. ``I need a fucking nap.''
+``Holy shit, indeed, my dear,'' Dry Grass said, scooting her chair closer to rest her head on Sedge's shoulder. ``I need a fucking nap.''
+
+Sedge laughed and patted her shoulder amiably. ``You and me both.''
 
 \begin{center}\rule{0.5\linewidth}{0.5pt}\end{center}

marsh/content/011.tex

@@ -4,21 +4,21 @@ There were a few more meetings with phys-side, usually with just Günay, but som
 
 Although phys-side remained in control of a few aspects, they had quickly ceded the rest to us once more, including ungating communications between Lagrange and Earth.
 
-None of us knew anyone phys-side. We didn't have the luxury of communications separated by just over two seconds. We didn't have AVEC to help us out at all. All of our friends had either uploaded or died without having done so, and none of our family cared enough to talk to their grandson with however many `greats' preceded that relationship.
+None of us knew anyone phys-side. We didn't have the luxury of communications separated by just over two seconds as opposed to the eight-month round trip to the LVs. We didn't have AVEC to help us out at all. All of our friends had either uploaded or died without having done so, and none of our family cared enough to talk to their grandson with however many `greats' preceded that relationship.
 
 Hanne, however was in yet a different situation. While her parents had long since died, her siblings had not, though by now they were quite old. Their communications were tearful reconnections, hasty requests for information on just what the fuck had happened.
 
 As for that particular question, we had the chance to learn quite a bit more.
 
-The process of restarting Lagrange included a new wrinkle. Every time they restarted, more and more instances seemed to be unrecoverable. Even with the help that the LVs had provided in drastically reducing the number of unrecoverable instances, each time the System was brought up, the number of crashes seemed to increase. There was a core of about twenty billion that remained unrecoverable no matter what, but the number climbed by hundreds of millions with each restart, with different instances among the remainder.
+The process of restarting Lagrange included a new wrinkle: every time they restarted, more and more instances seemed to be unrecoverable. Even with the help that the LVs had provided in drastically reducing the number of corrupted instances, each time the System was brought up, the number of truly lost instances seemed to increase. There was a core of about twenty billion that remained unrecoverable no matter what, but the number climbed by tens or hundreds of millions with each restart, with different instances among the remainder, raising fears about future downtime and driving phys-side ideas regarding robustness and splitting the System hardware into separate physical components.
 
-Dry Grass had been particularly affected by this. Her up-tree, In The Wind, seemed to have been instrumental in helping returning functionality, and yet had not manged to make it through the last three restarts.
+Dry Grass had been particularly affected by this. Her up-tree, In The Wind, seemed to have been instrumental in helping return functionality, and yet had not manged to make it through the last three restarts.
 
 On hearing this news, she disappeared for nearly twelve hours, all of her instances merging back down into one singular self. When she returned, she at least looked more well-rested than she had in days, explaining that she had spent nearly all of that time in bed.
 
 She and I also started spending more time together, with the next two lunches being just the two of us together. While I had memories of learning all about her through Tule, she was keen on learning about me in turn. She wanted to know what my take was on why Marsh had uploaded, explaining that both Cress and Tule had differing thoughts on the matter. She wanted to know why it was that I had slipped back into that transmasculine identity. She wanted to know how it was that Hanne and I had found each other, had fallen in love.
 
-I mostly wanted to know — though I never asked — how it was that I was falling so rapidly for her in turn. I turned that question over and over in my head, leaning on it for comfort whenever thoughts of Marsh struggled to overwhelm me.
+I mostly wanted to know — though I never asked — how it was that I — that part of me from before the merge — was falling so rapidly for her in turn. I turned that question over and over in my head, leaning on it for comfort whenever thoughts of Marsh struggled to overwhelm me.
 
 When at last the group of representative clades met up again, we were joined by yet another Odist, I Cannot Stop Myself From Speaking, a bobcat furry who moved silently on soft-padded paws, whose voice was quiet and yet demanding of attention.
 
@@ -46,15 +46,15 @@ Answers Will Not Help scoffed.
 
 ``That's possible?'' Harvey asked. ``Why the fuck would that even be a thing?''
 
-``Oh, it's always been possible,'' she replied, shrugging. ``It's another one of those privacy concerns, I guess. We left them in the DMZ used for testing the LVs, the one that turned into Convergence on Castor.''
+``Oh, it's always been possible,'' she replied, shrugging. ``It's another one of those privacy concerns, I guess. We moved them to the DMZ used for testing the LVs, the one that turned into Convergence on Castor.''
 
 ``That is why I am here,'' Speaking said, standing and bowing to the attendees at the table. Not even her clothing rustled, no sound of fabric on fur. ``I have been the sys-side representative interviewing them.''
 
-``Yes,'' Jakub said. ``One representative each: en4 and Speaking.''
+``Yes,'' Jakub said. ``One representative each: Information Security Officer en4 and Speaking.''
 
 ``Can you tell us more about them?'' Sedge asked. ``I want to know who would even do something like this.''
 
-Speaking nodded, returning to her seat. ``Yes. They go by 8-stanza-1, a reference to the Ode from which we take our names. In fact their whole collective refers to the Ode. This is why they limit their membership to one hundred members.''
+Speaking nodded, returning to her seat. ``Yes. They go by 8-stanza-1, a reference to the Ode from which we take our names. Specifically, it is a reference to The Only Time I Know My True Name Is When I Dream, who became Sasha when she was forced away from her role in the sys-side political landscape. A change, I will note, which the OBLC rejects. In fact their whole collective refers to the Ode. This is why they limit their membership to one hundred members.''
 
 ``Wild,'' Debarre murmured. ``Y'all are weird, but that's way, \emph{way} weirder.''
 
@@ -72,11 +72,11 @@ Smile unwavering, en4 said, ``We have no comment on that decision at this time.'
 
 Nods around the table.
 
-``2.3 trillion lives, then. 2.3 trillion lives that were taken from us here on Earth. 2.3 trillion minds in almost 25 billion uploads that might have lived full lives here among us phys-side. We resent that they were, and yet our only recourse is — \emph{must be} — to keep them alive, to ensure that they at least remain among the living in some form or another.'' Their gaze drifted to the three present Odists. ``We, too, desire nothing but the stability and continuity of the System, just for different reasons. This instance of us is an ISO specifically to live up to our own principles.''
+``2.3 trillion lives, then. 2.3 trillion lives that were taken from us here on Earth. 2.3 trillion minds in almost 40 billion uploads that might have lived full lives here among us phys-side. We resent that they were, and yet our only recourse is — \emph{must be} — to keep them alive, to ensure that they at least remain among the living in some form or another.'' Their gaze drifted to the three present Odists. ``We, too, desire nothing but the stability and continuity of the System, just for different reasons. This instance of us is an ISO specifically to live up to our own principles.''
 
 All three of the Odists nodded, expressions varying from serious to vaguely disgusted.
 
-``Regardless of our opinions of each other,'' Speaking said, picking up the prior thread. ``Speaking with 8-stanza-1 was a frustrating experience. I am told that I was the instance sent to discover their presence, relying on tools developed by my down-tree instance, I Have Sight But Cannot See. I have no memory of this, but it does sound like something that I would do.''
+``Regardless of our opinions of each other,'' Speaking said, picking up the prior thread. ``Interviewing 8-stanza-1 was a frustrating experience. I am told that I was the instance sent to discover their presence, relying on tools developed by my down-tree instance, I Have Sight But Cannot See. I have no memory of this, but it does sound like something that I would do.''
 
 ``What about it was frustrating?'' Selena asked.
 
@@ -88,7 +88,7 @@ All three of the Odists nodded, expressions varying from serious to vaguely disg
 
 They shrugged eloquently.
 
-``Despite these lies,'' Speaking continued, ``I was able to glean plenty. All I needed to do was assume that every statement was false. en4 confirmed much of this from the LCNZ's view. They — the OBLC — differ from the LCNZ in the sense that they believe each of those lives is a life lost, rather than a life preserved. They believe that the lives here on the System are, and I quote,''shadows and negations of souls''. They believe that clades are negations and that up-tree instances are shadows.''
+``Despite these lies,'' Speaking continued, ``I was able to glean plenty through apophasis and aposiopesis. All I needed to do was assume that every statement was false. ISO en4 confirmed much of this from the LCNZ's view. They — the OBLC — differ from the LCNZ in the sense that they believe each of those lives is a life lost, rather than a life preserved. They believe that the lives here on the System are, and I quote,''shadows and negations of souls''. They believe that clades are negations and that up-tree instances are shadows.''
 
 ``Yes,'' en4 said. ``They believe that each of these negations negates a life phys-side, and thus the only way they could even bring into balance, much less overcome, the negation offered by the System is to destroy it. They hoped that by destroying you, they would give those who remained phys-side a chance at heaven.''
 
@@ -104,13 +104,13 @@ They shook their head. ``Not at all. Many of them struggled with the effects tha
 
 ``Is it not?'' they asked mildly. ``For a while, it was quite popular for individuals to upload in order to work on the climate catastrophe, and yet many of them would disappear shortly after doing so, falling into new habits, new friend groups. It is only in past few decades that the pace of climate change was reversed.''
 
-``Yes, but hasn't much of that changed thanks to the Artemis data dump?'' Boiling Maw dos Riãos, another of the furries sitting at the table asked. She was some sort of mustelid, though larger and far more thickly-furred than Debarre. ``Most of that effort took place sys-side as well.''
+``Yes, but hasn't much of that changed thanks to the Artemis data dump?'' Boiling Maw dos Riãos, another of the furries sitting at the table asked. She was some sort of mustelid, though larger and far more thickly-furred than Debarre. A fisher cat, the System informed me through a whiff of distraction. I pushed it down in an attempt to focus. ``Most of that effort took place sys-side as well.''
 
 ``I will answer, but after this, we should return to the topic of the Century Attack,'' en4 replied. ``Many of these collectives — of which the LCNZ is one — believe that this is a side effect of the Artemisians' convergence, rather than any effort from those who uploaded in order to help. We would say,''Are we to rely on aliens to solve every problem? Ought we not also work ourselves?{}``\,''
 
 ``That's not--'' Boiling Maw started, anger painting her face. She paused, took a deep breath, and settled back into her seat, sulking. ``Right. Moving on.''
 
-Speaking bowed respectfully to the Riã. ``Yes, though perhaps there will be time for a separate conversation on this matter at another time. For now, 8-stanza-1 spoke of these negations and shadows and of their reasoning, and while I am left to guess at the negations of their own statements, I am confident of at least their reasoning for attacking Lagrange, thanks to en4's confirmations. They wished to reopen the gates of heaven to humanity. I also believe that those other collectives and individuals who worked behind the scenes on this attack had their own reasons, and as the investigation continues, both with me working sys-side and Answers Will Not Help coordinating with phys-side, we will learn more and publish the results to the feeds.''
+Speaking bowed respectfully to the Riã. ``Yes, though perhaps there will be time for a separate conversation on this matter at another time. For now, 8-stanza-1 spoke of these negations and shadows and of their reasoning, and while I am left to guess at the negations of their own statements, I am confident of at least their reasoning for attacking Lagrange, thanks to ISO en4's confirmations. They wished to reopen the gates of heaven to humanity. I also believe that those other collectives and individuals who worked behind the scenes on this attack had their own reasons, and as the investigation continues, both with me working sys-side and Answers Will Not Help coordinating with phys-side, we will learn more and publish the results to the feeds.''
 
 Dry Grass frowned. ``Are you sure that that is wise? Does the entirety of Lagrange need to know these reasons?''
 
@@ -118,7 +118,7 @@ Dry Grass frowned. ``Are you sure that that is wise? Does the entirety of Lagran
 
 ``Why not?''
 
-``Because it is out of my hands. It is outside my bailiwick. That is their role. It is their responsibility to manage spin.'' She sat down once more, movements speaking of a barely contained energy. ``I am the tool and have served my purpose. It is my job now to mourn my own losses.''
+``Because it is out of my hands. It is outside my bailiwick. That is their role. It is their responsibility to manage spin.'' She sat down once more, movements speaking of a barely contained energy. ``I am the tool and have served my purpose. It is my job now to mourn my own losses as I may.''
 
 ``We're working on it,'' Jonas Ko said soothingly after a moment's silent acknowledgement. ``The goal is to spin it so as to discourage anything like this going forward, not give anyone ideas.''
 

marsh/content/012.tex

@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ In our world.
 
 In \emph{my} world.
 
-There was some part of me that had hoped, however foolishly, that Marsh was simply locked in some enhanced cone of silence somewhere, working on this or that, rejecting all incoming sensorium data. Dry Grass, however, assured us that this was not the case, though, that eir name had been all but wiped from the System along with all of the rest of their existence, and then offered to bring us to their core dump.
+There was some part of me that had hoped, however foolishly, that Marsh was simply locked in some enhanced cone of silence somewhere, working on this or that, rejecting all incoming sensorium data. Dry Grass, however, assured us that this was not the case, though, that eir name had been all but wiped from the System along with all of the rest of their existence, and then she offered to bring us to their core dump.
 
 The room in which the cores were stored was beyond vast. It was an unending space, a three dimensional grid with the cores stored at one meter intervals in all directions. The default spawn point was a floating platform in the middle of a vast sphere, devoid of cores, right in the center of it all.
 
@@ -22,7 +22,7 @@ None of us spoke.
 
 Dry Grass gestured to a faint circle embossed in the floor, then stepped within its bounds. ``Marsh of the Marsh clade,'' she said. ``Dry Grass of the Ode clade on behalf of the Marsh clade, systech ID \#338d84bb.''
 
-There was a quiet chime of acknowledgment and, in the direction that Dry Grass faced, a black ring formed opening out onto some other part of the sim, hundreds of the 23-odd billion cores filling the view. The platform drifted slowly towards the portal, and then through.
+There was a quiet chime of acknowledgment and, in the direction that Dry Grass faced, an indigo-limned black ring formed opening out onto some other part of the sim, hundreds of the 23-odd billion cores filling the view. The platform drifted slowly towards the portal, and then through.
 
 The cores were insubstantial spheres, ghostly, translucent. Little double handfuls of whispy lives cut short.
 
@@ -84,7 +84,7 @@ I started to step forward next, eyes locked on Lily.
 
 ``Shut up. Vos first.''
 
-I glanced over to Vos, who was glaring at Lily. ``What are you doing, Lily?''
+I glanced over to Vos, who was glaring at her. ``What are you doing, Lily?'' she growled.
 
 ``Go,'' she said hoarsely.
 
@@ -112,7 +112,7 @@ My guess was correct, as there she was, already whirling on me at the notificati
 
 ``Fucking \emph{watch me.}''
 
-Although I immediately regretted it, I slapped her across the cheek. Hard.
+I slapped her across the cheek. Hard.
 
 I think I regretted it even in the moment. I regretted it as soon as I felt my hand move. As soon as I felt that reaction bubble past any boundaries within me and take control of my body, I knew that it would cause nothing but pain — physical, yes, but also emotional and personal pain.
 
@@ -178,11 +178,11 @@ I merged the memories of the fight with Lily wholesale, letting them mingle with
 
 Pierre declined to speak.
 
-That left just Cress, Tule, and I. Cress went first, stepping forward to rest her hands against the core, and then resting her forehead against the back of its hands. ``There's too much bullshit going on, so here's a story.
+That left just Cress, Tule, and I. Cress went first, stepping forward to rest its hands against the core, and then resting its forehead against the back of its hands. ``There's too much bullshit going on, so here's a story.
 
 ``Back when Reed, Lily, and I were forked, Marsh was still presenting cis male, and so the three of us were to be the aspects of them that went in different directions. Lily headed back cis fem, Reed went back to the trans masc presentation we had phys-side, and I went somewhere neutral.
 
-``I started out with they/them pronouns, leaning into androgyny as I'd always pictured it, something more tomboyish than anything, but over time, that began to drift, and I decided that `neutral' was the wrong answer to the question of gender. Gender was the wrong question. Fuck it, I say. I opt out.'' It laughed. ``The next time I merged down, Marsh sent me a message that was just them laughing, then requested that we use they/them for them.''
+``I started out with they/them, leaning into androgyny as I'd always pictured it, something more tomboyish than anything, but over time, that began to drift, and I decided that `neutral' was the wrong answer to the question of gender. Gender was the wrong question. Fuck it, I say. I opt out.'' It laughed. ``The next time I merged down, Marsh sent me a message that was just them laughing, then requested that we use they/them for them.''
 
 It straightened up again, smiling. ``So you see? It's all my fault they wound up how they did.''
 
@@ -190,7 +190,7 @@ The rest of the clade grinned. Both Vos and Pierre laughed.
 
 After Cress, Tule stepped forward and stood for nearly five minutes in silence. The wait began expectant, but before long, everyone gathered around the core bowed their heads one by one, settling into something more contemplative. The silence spoke as much as Sedge and Rush's sorrow, Lily's anger, Cress's humor.
 
-When he stepped back, I sighed. ``Guess that leaves me,'' I said. I could feel exhaustion pulling at my cheeks, pressing against my temples. When I touched the core, I was surprised to find it cool to the touch, dry, almost dusty. ``I don't want to say anything, but Tule already covered that base. I guess you've all talked a lot about the past, so I'm not sure I have much to add. I guess I'll just say that I hope we can find a way forward that doesn't lead to us feeling terrible forever.''
+When he stepped back, I sighed. ``Guess that leaves me,'' I said. I could feel exhaustion pulling at my cheeks, pressing against my temples. When I touched the core, I was surprised to find it cool to the touch, dry, almost dusty, as though it would absorbe all moisture, accept all tears and still never be slaked. ``I don't want to say anything, but Tule already covered that base. I guess you've all talked a lot about the past, so I'm not sure I have much to add. I guess I'll just say that I hope we can find a way forward that doesn't lead to us feeling terrible forever.''
 
 There were a few nods around the circle, though Pierre only buried his forehead against Vos's shoulder.
 
@@ -200,9 +200,9 @@ Sedge, Tule, and Rush, my up-tree instances, all leaned forward to rest their ha
 
 ``It's incredibly you to just think about how to manage stuff going forward,'' Lily said, no ire in her voice. ``That's just kind of your role in this whole thing, huh?''
 
-I laughed, feeling some of the pressure in my chest fade. ``Right, yeah. Manager of the enterprise.''
+I chuckled, feeling some of the pressure in my chest fade. ``Right, yeah. Manager of the enterprise.''
 
-``Pretty sure that's me, actually,'' Sedge said. ``Though I guess I got it from somewhere.''
+``Pretty sure that makes me an employee,'' Sedge said. ``Though I guess I got it from somewhere.''
 
 We all laughed.
 
@@ -216,7 +216,7 @@ I thought of the stages of grief, of Lily's anger, of the sadness so many of us
 
 I blinked, standing up straighter. ``Me?''
 
-She nodded. ``If you will have me,'' she repeated.
+She nodded. ``If you will have me,'' she repeated, voice small.
 
 I thought of so many complex emotions that had plagued me over the last few days — the memories of love, the way they clashed with my memories of distance, the memories of Lily burning up with hatred — and, finally, nodded. ``Yeah. Let's see In The Wind's core, and then get out of here. Anything to help out after all this will be good.''
 

marsh/content/013.tex

@@ -4,7 +4,7 @@ The three of them lived in a narrow brownstone of sorts, full of the dark wood a
 
 Also spaced out through the house were various \emph{objets d'art} I recognized from Hanne's work. Dry Grass explained that both paintings and art were from her cocladists Motes and Warmth In Fire. ``My little ones,'' she called them, which fit well, given what I knew of Warmth In Fire.
 
-She sounded proud of them, as a mother would of her children, which took me a minute to piece together. There were no shortage of family dynamics within the System — after all, old and young alike upload, and upload dates can be decades or centuries apart — though it was relatively rare that they were so strong within a clade where everyone was by necessity the same age. What guardianship we Marshans felt over Cress, the smallest among us, only barely seemed to scratch the surface of the depth of Dry Grasses feelings over And We Are The Motes In The Stage-Lights and Which Offers Heat And Warmth In Fire. We were protective of Cress, she was hanging artwork on her fridge door and walls.
+She sounded proud of them, as a mother would of her children, which took me a minute to piece together. There were no shortage of family dynamics within the System — after all, old and young alike upload, and upload dates can be decades or centuries apart — though it was relatively rare that they were so strong within a clade where everyone was by necessity the same age. What guardianship we Marshans felt over Cress, the smallest among us, only barely seemed to scratch the surface of the depth of Dry Grass's feelings over And We Are The Motes In The Stage-Lights and Which Offers Heat And Warmth In Fire. We were protective of Cress; she was hanging artwork on her fridge door and walls.
 
 Proud, yes, but the overriding exhaustion — physical and emotional — kept her expression muted and heavy, and she soon requested that we lay down as we had planned.
 
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@ Cress and Tule followed after, moving as though they knew the parts they were to
 
 I stood awkwardly by until Cress chuckled and gestured at the open space beside Tule up near the head of the bed. ``Just relax, Reed.''
 
-``Yes,'' Dry Grass mumbled. ``You do not need to do anything, there is no pressure. I want to be around those who enjoy my presence rather than resent it. We are all just here to unwind, yes? Among friends, yes? After these last few days, after so many tears, I would like to think that this includes you, my dear.''
+``Yes,'' Dry Grass mumbled. ``You do not need to do anything, there is no pressure. I want to be around those who enjoy my presence rather than resent it. We are all just here to unwind, yes? Among friends, yes? After these last few days, after so many tears and meals and meetings, I would like to think that this includes you, my dear.''
 
 ``Right,'' I said, forcing a chuckle of my own as I awkwardly clambered up onto the bed, leaning against the headboard and hugging my knees against my chest.
 
@@ -36,19 +36,19 @@ Dry Grass was the first to break the silence, mumbling into her pillow. ``In The
 
 ``What was that, love?'' Tule asked, brushing fingers through her hair.
 
-``That was my up-tree instance, yes? In The Wind?'' She turned her head and laughed, choked and hoarse. ``I remember the rattle of dry grass in the wind. A full sentence snuck into a poem. I picked that up from Louie. Eir clade, os Riãos, did much the same. I thought I was \emph{so clever.} I thought I had gotten all of my grief out that second day. I thought I could move on, limping, until I heard of the work she'd done, that she made it so far and still did not make it to the end. Until I saw her core.''
+``That was my up-tree instance, yes? In The Wind? I remember the rattle of dry grass in the wind.'' She turned her head and laughed, choked and hoarse. ``A full sentence snuck into a poem. I picked that up from Louie. Eir clade, os Riãos, did much the same: a poem expanded upon from within. I thought I was \emph{so clever.} I thought I had gotten all of my grief out that second day. I thought I could move on, limping, until I heard of the work she'd done, that she made it so far and still did not make it to the end. Until I saw her core.''
 
 Tule, more flexible than I, bent down and kissed her on the cheek. Cress gave her own kiss after. Both of them glanced briefly at me, looking a little sheepish. I couldn't quite piece together the reason for their looks until I pieced together their confusion — our confusion, since I shared in it — of how I must feel about her.
 
 The compulsion to echo that gesture was certainly there, too. I knew from countless memories the softness of her skin against my lips, I knew what even the briefest touch would mean to her as she worked to process her own loss.
 
-I also knew her only as a friend, only as Dry Grass of the Ode clade, only Cress and Tule's partner, with whom I had shared only a few dinners.
+I also knew her only as a friend, only as Dry Grass of the Ode clade, only Cress and Tule's partner, with whom I had shared only a few meals.
 
 Thinking rapidly, I opted for a middle ground of squeezing gently on her shoulder. This gained me a rather relaxed-sounding sigh from Dry Grass, and a pleased smile from both Cress and Tule. Dry Grass shrugged my hand off of her shoulder to instead take it in her own, holding gently.
 
 ``Can you tell us about her?'' I asked.
 
-After a long moment's pause, she nodded. ``She was the part of me who remained a systech. After I burnt out, I mean. I had grown weary of the mediation and moderation side of the job. I loved the tech, instead. I loved the feeling of being a caretaker for this vast and wonderful world we live in. I did not want to deal with adults bickering at each other over stupid shit. We are the moms of the clade, yes? My stanza? Not the judges and jurors.''
+After a long moment's pause, she nodded. ``She was the part of me who remained a systech. After I burnt out, I mean. I had grown weary of the mediation and moderation side of the job. I loved the tech, instead. I loved the feeling of being a caretaker for this vast and wonderful world we live in. I did not want to deal with adults bickering at each other over stupid shit, and I certainly did not want to deal with phys-side. We are the moms of the clade, yes? My stanza? Not the judges and jurors.''
 
 Both Cress and Tule nodded, though the statement largely went over my head.
 
@@ -58,11 +58,11 @@ Perhaps guessing at such, Dry Grass continued, ``Each of our stanzas focused on
 
 She nodded. ``To an extent. She often explained how she would push the moderation duties off onto other systechs. She really was just as focused as I was on the tech side.'' She rolled over onto her back so that she could look up to us, transferring my hand in hers from one to the other. ``All I wanted to do was take a vacation. I should have known it would wind up far longer than the two weeks I had intended. Michelle had already tried that all the way back in 2124, systime 0, and she got an entire clade out of it, after all.
 
-``She usually got what she want, too. She worked the tech side, disentangling crashes and hunting for problematic objects. She is the one who kept me up to date on the tech side, usually over lunch.'' I could hear the smile in her voice as she continued, ``Those lunches were something lovely, sandwiches sitting unfinished as we talked and talked and talked about this whole confusing mess we lived in. The politics remained infuriating to me, which I suppose they also did for her, given the way she would rant. Even so, it kept the pilot light lit for me, that I might hear about this System I loved so much.''
+``She usually got what she want, too. She worked the tech side, disentangling crashes and hunting for problematic objects. She is the one who kept me up to date on the tech side, usually over lunch.'' I could hear the smile in her voice as she continued, ``Those weekly lunches were something lovely, sandwiches sitting unfinished as we talked and talked and talked about this whole confusing mess we lived in. The politics remained infuriating to me, which I suppose they also did for her, given the way she would rant. Even so, it kept the pilot light lit for me, that I might hear about this System I loved so much.''
 
 Cress nodded. ``It must be hard to lose that.''
 
-``It is more than that,'' Dry Grass said, sniffling. ``I loved her, my dear. She was my sister, my twin. Fuck what my down-tree says, I lost family.''
+``It is more than that,'' Dry Grass said, sniffling. ``I loved her, my dear. She was my sister, my twin. Fuck what my down-tree says, I lost \emph{family.}''
 
 ``I'm sorry,'' the three of us mumbled.
 
@@ -76,7 +76,7 @@ She rubbed the back of her free hand against her eyes. ``I will mourn the loss o
 
 He nodded, working on a careful extraction from his role as pillow, replacing his lap with another pillow from the bed as he slid from beneath her. He stretched his arms up over his head, winced at a quiet pop from his neck, and then shifted to lay down beside her instead, arm draped over her front. Cress followed suit, laying down beside Tule and hugging around them both.
 
-I chose to remain sitting for a while, idle gaze settling on the triad beside me, while I thought of the ways in which Dry Grass talked about In The Wind. I tried mapping that onto my own clade. Thinking of Lily like a sister, of Cress like our clade's own little one, felt right in a way that I didn't expect. While it was difficult to think of Tule as in any way that much younger than me, despite being my second degree up-tree instance, but perhaps that was due to his lingering similarities to me. After all, Sedge had forked him off shortly after I had forked into her. It was part of the package deal: Sedge went back to exploring femininity while Tule returned to cis-masculinity; ditto Rush and a further queering of gender. Both of them remained siblings — younger siblings, perhaps, because I was their progenitor.
+I chose to remain sitting for a while, idle gaze settling on the triad beside me, while I thought of the ways in which Dry Grass talked about In The Wind. I tried mapping that onto my own clade. Thinking of Lily like a sister, of Cress like our clade's own little one, felt right in a way that I didn't expect. While it was difficult to think of Tule as in any way that much younger than me, despite being my second degree up-tree instance, but perhaps that was due to his lingering similarities to me. After all, Sedge had forked him off shortly after I had forked into her. It was part of the package deal: Sedge went back to exploring femininity while Tule returned to cis-masculinity; ditto Rush and a further queering of gender. Both of them remained siblings — younger siblings, perhaps, because I was their progenitor. Cousins, maybe.
 
 But Marsh? Were they a parent? Were they also a sibling? Some great-grandparent, perhaps? Or were they simply my root instance? All fit to greater or lesser extent.
 
@@ -96,7 +96,7 @@ I smirked and rolled my eyes. \emph{``Shush, you.''}
 
 Tule messaged a few seconds later, including Cress in the message, \emph{``You good, Reed?''}
 
-\emph{``Yeah, just taking a bit of getting used to.''}
+\emph{``Yeah, just confused. Dealing with emotions. Trying to figure this out, maybe. It's taking a lot of getting used to.''}
 
 \emph{``I can imagine,''} he replied. \emph{``I caught myself feeling a little sorry for dumping this on you, earlier today. Trying to keep in mind that it's your fault, not mine.''}
 
@@ -112,7 +112,7 @@ I did my best to keep my laughter to myself. Dry Grass's breathing had grown ste
 
 \emph{``I guess so. Answers Will Not Help and Jonas got pretty weird about the whole thing, actually, saying it changed clades into `gestalts' or something. I guess I can see it, too. We still fork like a tree, branching out and everything, but if we can merge from one branch to another instead of just down, then the metaphor falls apart.''}
 
-Tule chimed in with a scoff. \emph{``What about that would make them angry? It just sounds like a minor improvement and a change in terminology.''}
+Tule chimed in with a scoff. \emph{``What about that would make them angry? It just sounds like a minor improvement and a change in terminology. Maybe not even that; we stay clades and cladists, just with this new feature.''}
 
 \emph{``Hell if I know. They're old and weird.''}
 

marsh/content/014.tex

@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
-We lingered in silence for the remainder of the evening, the four of us piled into a bed now built for four. Two of my cocladists and their partner, and now me. Who knew what I was? There was the friendship that we had built over the last few days. There was the camaraderie that we had built through work. There was the acquaintanceship that had been there from years prior.
+We lingered in silence for the remainder of the evening, the four of us piled into a bed now stretched to fit all of us. Two of my cocladists and their partner, and now me. Who knew what I was? There was the friendship that we had built over the last few days. There was the camaraderie that we had built through work. There was the acquaintanceship that had been there from years prior.
 
-And now there was more. I didn't have words for it, and Dry Grass was asleep for much of our time together. It wasn't the time for conversations, it was time for just resting, something I realized I dearly needed as well. We all did, as we napped off and on for some time until the clock hit one in the morning, at which point I stepped back home to spend the rest of my night with Hanne.
+And now there was more. I didn't have words for it — latent romance? A crush? — and Dry Grass was asleep for much of our time together. It wasn't the time for conversations, it was time for just resting, something I realized I dearly needed as well. We all did, as we napped off and on for some time until the clock hit one in the morning, at which point I stepped back home to spend the rest of my night with Hanne.
 
 She was already in bed, curled around a body pillow, though not yet asleep.
 
@@ -30,7 +30,7 @@ She shrugged noncommittally. ``Glad you got some. Where'd you crash?'' She wince
 
 ``Oh?'' I could hear the faint smirk in her voice. ``Did you wind up getting all smoochy with her?''
 
-I laughed, pressing my face against the back of her neck. ``No.~A bit cuddly, maybe, but that's it. We may go on a date at some point.''
+I laughed, pressing my face against the back of her neck. ``No.~A bit cuddly, maybe, but that's it. We may go on a date at some point. An actual one, I mean. Not a work lunch.''
 
 She laughed as well. ``Well, good. I'm happy for you.''
 
@@ -58,7 +58,7 @@ I shrugged. ``We were all hurting, just in different ways.''
 
 She nodded. ``I guess I can see that. I trusted phys-side. I trusted the systechs. I feel kind of like that trust was broken in some ways.''
 
-``Yeah. Thinking of it like that way, I guess I can see where Dry Grass is coming from, though. We're protecting ourselves by holding onto trust that we do have.''
+``Yeah. Thinking of it like that way, I guess I can see where Dry Grass is coming from, though. We're protecting ourselves by holding onto trust that we do have. She said even trauma bonds are still real bonds.''
 
 ``That's a bit less cynical.''
 
@@ -130,7 +130,7 @@ I nodded. ``Has me thinking, though. They apparently added cross-tree merging in
 
 ``It might,'' I said, shrugging. ``It'd be all of us, at least, right? All of our memories from over the years, combined with those from when we \emph{were} Marsh. I mean, it wouldn't be exact, of course, but it'd still be something.''
 
-``Not exact?'' she asked, then winced, answering her own question, ``Oh, right, because it won't have their memories for all of that time.''
+``Not exact?'' she asked, then winced, answering her own question, ``Oh, right, because they won't have their memories for all of that time.''
 
 ``Yeah. Not exact, but who knows, maybe they could still live on in a way.''
 

marsh/content/015.tex

@@ -6,7 +6,7 @@ Life on Lagrange seemed to be limping back into something resembling order, at l
 
 The default arrival point was a newly renovated LaGuardia airport, something that was only ever in the planning stages when I had lived there for a brief few months, and transit into the city itself was via bus and subway, both packed with other cladists.
 
-Dry Grass and I sat in a well-tailored cone of silence, letting us talk about in peace.
+Dry Grass and I sat in a well-tailored cone of silence, letting us talk in peace.
 
 ``Everyone looks so nervous,'' I observed at one point.
 
@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@ I laughed, looking down to my lap and resting my hand atop hers. ``I suppose so,
 
 ``We are all anxious, as you say, but we are more than that: we are still here. We are still alive. We will do all that we can to continue living, and those phys-side will see to that.''
 
-Once we stepped off the train, still holding hands both out of affection and so as not to lose each other in the crowds, we walked the short distance to the replica Horn \& Hardart's, still talking of life on Lagrange. We talked of when we had uploaded, of the first things that we did sys-side, of the origins of the System that Dry Grass's root instance still remembered.
+Once we stepped off the train, still holding hands both out of affection and so as not to lose each other in the crowds, we walked the short distance to the replica Horn \& Hardart, still talking of life on Lagrange. We talked of when we had uploaded, of the first things that we did sys-side, of the origins of the System that Dry Grass's root instance still remembered.
 
 ``The 2110s were a horrible mess,'' she said once we sat down with our cups of shitty coffee and small bowls of soup: chicken noodle for her, clam chowder for me. It was too thick, too grainy from the flour used to thicken it, and it needed copious amounts of pepper to make it in any way interesting. It was, as far as I could tell, a perfect reproduction. ``Pandemics. The WF and Sino-Russian Bloc having a staring contest over the Carpathians. Governments trying to disappear anyone who knew too much in the worst way possible, which accidentally led to the creation of the System. Turns out, it's a pretty good place to store your undesirables, so most of the Founders were loud, opinionated, politically obnoxious people.''
 
@@ -50,7 +50,7 @@ I listened, rapt, as she grew more animated and eloquent; watched as she sent ou
 
 ``We all played our part. I dove into tech, Warmth coaxed the System into letting em make weirder and weirder objects and more and more delicious foods, True Name and her stanza guided it as might any parent. Even if her methods came off as unsavory, I believe her — believe Sasha, I mean, who she became — when she says that her goal was only ever the security of our existence.
 
-``I feel like my baby has stumbled. The System stumbled and fell, knocked its head, forgotten some of what it knew. I feel like our existence stumbled, as some group or another got so frustrated as to trip it up. When I dump my energy into all of this work, I am doing my best to nurse it back to health. We all are. I am working the tech angle. The eighth is working the political angle — I think even Sasha has poked her nose in once or twice. Even the third stanza is there with us, sitting \emph{shiva} and praying as they will.''
+``I feel like my baby has stumbled. The System stumbled and fell, knocked its head, forgotten some of what it knew. I feel like our existence stumbled, as some group or another got so frustrated as to trip it up. When I dump my energy into all of this work, I am doing my best to nurse it back to health. We all are. I am working the tech angle. The eighth is working the political angle — you have seen Sasha has poke her nose in once or twice, yes? She is still striving.'' She smiled fondly, adding, ``Even the third stanza is there with us, sitting \emph{shiva} and praying as they will.''
 
 We sat back as her ephemeral instance set down a few pot pies and a plate piled high with hash browns in front of us before quitting. Dry Grass sectioned off a large portion of the hash browns to start dousing it in hot sauce.
 
@@ -62,9 +62,9 @@ She laughed, fork of heavily spiced potato already on its way to her mouth. ``Ye
 
 I nodded, getting a few bites of my own (less heavily spiced) share in. Horn \& Hardart's hash browns were quite good, but only while warm.
 
-``You use a lot of family language when you talk,'' I said once I'd washed the hash browns down with coffee. ``Which makes sense from what you've said, of course, but it got me thinking last night about what Marsh was to us. Couldn't decide whether they were a parent or a sibling of some sort.''
+``You use a lot of family language when you talk,'' I said once I'd washed the hash browns down with coffee. ``Which makes sense from what you've said, of course, but it got me thinking last night about what Marsh was to us. Couldn't decide whether they were a parent or a cousin of some sort.''
 
-She nodded, already starting in on her pot pie, breaking open the lid to let the steam escape. ``It is not a dynamic that works for everyone. Even within our own clade, it does not make sense in some cases. Motes and Warmth are my little ones, but while A Finger Pointing and Beholden — Motes's guardians — feel like siblings to me, Dear, Rye, and Praiseworthy — Warmth's down-trees — definitely do not. They are friends, Rye especially, perhaps, but little else.''
+She nodded, already starting in on her pot pie, breaking open the lid to let the steam escape. ``It is not a dynamic that works for everyone. Even within our own clade, it is complicated. Hammered Silver, my down-tree, \emph{hates} that. She disowned me for some time over these thoughts. Tt does not make sense in some cases. Motes and Warmth are my little ones, but while A Finger Pointing and Beholden — Motes's guardians — feel like siblings to me, Dear, Rye, and Praiseworthy — Warmth's down-trees — definitely do not. They are friends, Rye especially, perhaps, but little else.''
 
 ``Yeah, and I guess that's been coloring my feelings on the whole idea of cross-tree merging.''
 

marsh/content/016.tex

@@ -1,8 +1,8 @@
-There was a strange sort of distance involved with my life as a cladist, just by virtue of the ways in which my world worked. It was a constant, something that I'd noticed shortly after uploading, something that had stuck with me ever since. It shouldn't be the case that I would feel distance from what I was doing just because a fork was off doing something else in my stead, right? I would be getting all of their memories, after all. Everything they experienced would become something that I had experienced, too. That's what it meant to be a cladist, after all: an instance is specifically an instance of a cladist. They may think different thoughts and live separate lives for a few seconds, hours, or days, but they maintain the same identity with the intent to come together again once more.
+There was a strange sort of distance involved with my life as a cladist, just by virtue of the ways in which my world worked. It was a constant, something that I'd noticed shortly after uploading, something that had stuck with me ever since. It shouldn't be the case that I would feel distance from what I was doing just because a fork was off doing something else in my stead, right? I would be getting all of their memories, after all. Everything they experienced would become something that I had experienced, too. That's what it meant to be a cladist, after all: an instance is specifically an instance of a cladist. They may think different thoughts and live separate lives for a few seconds, hours, or days, but they maintain the same identity with the intent to come together again once more, while a cladist adopted their own identity separate from any down-tree. Our own social construct defined by memory.
 
 And the memories here on the System were something far more than what they were back phys-side. Yes, they were imperfect: they collected the same sorts of impressions, attached the same amount of meaning and emotion to time and place. They were eternal, though. I could browse back through the life that I'd lived as Reed and as Marsh before that and pull together as exact a picture of what had happened as though it had happened only some hours ago.
 
-Nevertheless, there was a distance that came with experiencing two things at once. If I sent out a tracking fork to, say, go on an exploratory date with someone that I'd accidentally developed feelings for through an ill advised merge while both our down-tree instances attended a meeting with phys-side in the middle of the apocalypse, intellectually, I wouldn't expect that I, as the down-tree, would feel some sort of distraction from the meeting at hand, as though I were looking over the shoulder of someone else. I wouldn't expect that I would feel like I was living two lives at once, because that was specifically what forking was used for, right? It let us live two lives at once and yet still feel singular about the whole thing. That was being a cladist.
+Nevertheless, there was a distance that came with experiencing two things at once. If I sent out a tracking fork to, say, go on an exploratory date with someone that I'd accidentally developed feelings for through an ill advised merge while both our down-tree instances attended a meeting with phys-side in the middle of the apocalypse, intellectually, I wouldn't expect that I, as the down-tree, would feel some sort of distraction from the meeting at hand, as though I were looking over the shoulder of someone else. I wouldn't expect that I as a single instance would feel like I was living two lives at once, because that was specifically what forking was used for, right? It let us live two lives at once and yet still feel singular about the whole thing. That was being a cladist.
 
 But here I was, confronted with the very real sense of distance I was feeling from this conversation between the representative sample of clades and phys-side, forcing me to consciously focus on paying attention.
 
@@ -10,7 +10,7 @@ But here I was, confronted with the very real sense of distance I was feeling fr
 
 The topic of the conversation certainly had its share of anxiety-inducing power. We'd gathered once more in the room with the AVEC stage, finding our seats around the oblong table that had long since started to become familiar, while Günay and Jakub joined us from the L5 station.
 
-Need An Answer once more called the meeting to order, though with no new faces, this largely amounted to her stating that she had a list of topics that we wished to address and picking one to start with.
+Need An Answer called the meeting to order, though with no new faces, this largely amounted to her stating that she had a list of topics that we wished to address and picking one to start with.
 
 ``When last we spoke about the perpetrator, 8-stanza-1, it was stated that they were locked in the DMZ for the time being,'' she said. ``Are we able to speak with them ourselves?''
 
@@ -28,7 +28,7 @@ Günay, looking baffled, asked, ``Why's that terrifying?''
 
 She shook her head.
 
-``So there's this person who's effectively dead, right? You can bring them back to life, presumably stuck in a default sim, and they're going to immediately go crazy because they're suddenly all alone fifteen minutes before their plan was to go down,'' he continued, ticking points off on his fingers. ``CPV doesn't work, they can't quit, their plan was only 1\% successful — if you even decide to tell them that! — and it actually made Lagrange loads safer with fixes and new features. Oh, and don't forget, literally trillions of people hate them now.''
+``So there's this person who's effectively dead, right? You can bring them back to life, presumably stuck in a default sim, and they're going to immediately go crazy because they're suddenly all alone thinking it's fifteen minutes before their plan was to go down but it's not,'' he continued, ticking points off on his fingers. ``CPV doesn't work, they can't quit, their plan was only 1\% successful — if you even decide to tell them that! — and it actually made Lagrange loads safer with fixes and new features. Oh, and don't forget, literally trillions of people hate them now.''
 
 Günay looked helplessly over to Jakub, who nodded. ``That's an ongoing conversation to be had sys-side,'' he said, sounding as though he was choosing his words very carefully. ``We can bring the DMZ back up whenever you would like, and you will retain full control over transit to and from the DMZ--''
 
@@ -40,7 +40,7 @@ Debarre shrugged. Harvey scoffed. Jonas Ko grinned, leaning back in his seat, sa
 
 After a moment's uncomfortable pause, Need An Answer asked, ``What can you tell us about the CPV device?''
 
-Günay, who had been slouching further and further down in her seat as the discussion had drifted away from the technical, sat up straight once more. ``It was one of those things that was really clever and all the worse for it,'' she said. ``They uploaded a few months before the attack and went out to big public sims and met a bunch of people. When they set the bomb off, it hit them first, but before it did, it used their access to the perisystem clade listing to look up everyone they'd interacted with to go infect them and their cocladists after looking up everyone \emph{they} knew about, and so on. This would have gotten more than 99\% of the System, especially once it hit the new upload assistants, who have probably met more people than anyone else, including those who never talked to anyone else since. Once the number of uninfected cladists fell below a threshold — I think five billion? — the clade listing allowed access to a full listing of everyone sys-side, and the virus just mopped up from there.''
+Günay, who had been slouching further and further down in her seat as the discussion had drifted away from the technical, sat up straight once more. ``It was one of those things that was really clever and all the worse for it,'' she said. ``They uploaded a few months before the attack and went out to big public sims and met a bunch of people. When they set the bomb off, it hit them first, but before it did, it used their access to the perisystem clade listing to look up everyone they'd interacted with to go infect them and their cocladists after looking up everyone \emph{they} knew about, and so on. This would have gotten more than 99\% of the System, especially once it hit the new upload assistants, who have probably met more people than anyone else, including those who never talked to anyone else since. Once the number of uninfected cladists fell below a threshold — I think one billion? — the clade listing allowed access to a full listing of everyone sys-side, and the virus just mopped up from there.''
 
 ``What was that threshold even for?'' Selena asked. ``I thought it was part of the privacy policy that no one be able to just look up everyone on the System.''
 
@@ -60,7 +60,7 @@ Need An Answer, perhaps sensing the tension this inspired, moved smoothly down h
 
 Günay wilted in her chair, looking down at her desk, wherever she sat.
 
-Jakub, on the other hand, sat stock still for several long seconds. ``Yes,'' he said at last. ``During the briefing prior to our first meeting, we were instructed that anyone who was asked were to say those words specifically. They were displayed in our HUDs.''
+Jakub, on the other hand, sat stock still for several long seconds. ``Yes,'' he said at last. ``During the briefing prior to our first meeting, we were instructed that anyone who was asked were to say those words specifically. They were displayed in our HUDs and enforced via NDA inhibitors.''
 
 Answers Will Not Help rolled her eyes. ``Tacky.''
 
@@ -72,7 +72,7 @@ The admin bristled at the insult, visibly forcing himself back to calmness befor
 
 ``Shut up, Jonas,'' Answers Will Not Help said fondly, preempting any response.
 
-``Needless to say,'' Need An Answer said, once more glossing over the tension, ``the response sys-side has been fraught. Systechs focused on that sort of thing had to throttle several of the main feeds after complaints that it had become an impossibly dense flow of information. There is grief. There is panic. There are calls for heads, ours \emph{and} yours.''
+``Needless to say,'' Need An Answer said, once more glossing over the tension, ``the response sys-side has been fraught. Systechs focused on such had to throttle several of the main feeds after complaints that it had become an impossibly dense flow of information. There is grief. There is panic. There are calls for heads, ours \emph{and} yours.''
 
 ``We've been shaping the sentiment as best we can,'' Selena said. ``But it would've been far easier if this had been a coordinated effort. As it is, we are keeping the anger and panic to tolerable levels and steering cladists towards grief. Better that than anger; some of those calls for your heads were hunting for ways to launch some sort of counterattack.''
 
@@ -84,7 +84,7 @@ Jakub stiffened. ``Which is precisely why we tried to control the release of inf
 
 ``Is not here. You are,'' she retorted. ``Someone is getting their head bitten off, may as well be you, yes?''
 
-I frowned, they were goading Jakub, pushing him repeatedly into anger. I couldn't figure out why. I could understand their anger — I was feeling much the same — but attacking the phys-side admin, some random middle-manager, felt like a strange and petty move.
+I frowned, they were goading Jakub, pushing him repeatedly into anger. I couldn't figure out why. I could understand \emph{their} anger — I was feeling much the same — but attacking the phys-side admin, some random middle-manager, felt like a strange and petty move.
 
 I sent Dry Grass a quick ping to ask, and she replied, \emph{``It is my guess that they are pushing blame onto him because they want him gone. They want the Consortium to replace him with someone they have more control over. That, and they wish for Günay to feel better.''}
 
@@ -92,7 +92,7 @@ I sent Dry Grass a quick ping to ask, and she replied, \emph{``It is my guess th
 
 A hint of a smile touched her face. \emph{``Do you not, my dear?''}
 
-\emph{``Oh, I like her plenty. I actually kind of hope she uploads. I'm just wondering where that's coming from.''}
+\emph{``Oh, I like her plenty. I actually hope she uploads. I'm just wondering where that's coming from.''}
 
 \emph{``She is easily controlled,''} she admitted. \emph{``But yes, I like her too, and I suspect she will be pushed by the Consortium to join us before long. I think that Jonas will, too, to turn her into a long-term asset.''}
 
@@ -119,7 +119,7 @@ They say you're all dead.
 
 They say you're all dead and none of us know what to do. None of us know how to cope with something like that. How do you learn that someone who \emph{was} you for so much of your life is just gone and then keep living a normal life? I'm sure you're going to get letters like this from each of your counterparts, but\ldots fuck. What are we supposed to do, knowing this? You're all me. I'm all of you. A part of me has died.
 
-They say they're working on it, and I hope to \emph{hell} they come up with something, because I'm not sure what I'd do knowing even one of you was lost. It's no easier to lose one portion of oneself than it is to lose a full half.
+They say they're working on it, and I hope to \emph{hell} they come up with something, because I'm not sure what I'd do knowing even one of you was lost. It's no easier to lose one portion of oneself than it is to lose a full half\ldots{}
 \end{quote}
 
 I shook my head jerkily, swallowing back tears as best as I could, and closed the letter. I'd have to read it when I was alone, but even still, the words echoed in my head. \emph{They say you're all dead.}
@@ -144,7 +144,7 @@ Still grinning, she nodded. ``It started as part of the information we gained fr
 
 ``Thank you, my dear. Can you give us a better precis of the current state of this library?''
 
-``Oh, um,'' GÜnay started, frowning. ``I guess. Systechs on both LVs has come up with their own procedures and manuals and stuff, and they sent us all of those, plus a bunch of suggestions for things to try as we worked, so it's got all of that information in it. We also had a few teams going through the Artemis library searching for instances of crashes in all of the civilizations they've encountered — the four races on board and the two who didn't join. There was a bunch in there that we just grabbed wholesale and started sorting through.''
+``Oh, um,'' Günay started, frowning. ``I guess. Systechs on both LVs have come up with their own procedures and manuals and stuff, and they sent us all of those, plus a bunch of suggestions for things to try as we worked, so it's got all of that information in it. We also had a few teams going through the Artemis library searching for instances of crashes in all of the civilizations they've encountered — the four races on board and the two who didn't join. There was a bunch in there that we just grabbed wholesale and started sorting through.''
 
 ``And what of us?'' Dry Grass asked.
 
@@ -216,7 +216,7 @@ Dry Grass's attention snapped over to me. Several others around the table turned
 
 Günay shrugged. ``I mean, you don't have to. You could just take on the memories without forking.''
 
-``Right, got it,'' he said, then looked over to Jonas Fa. He forked into a new instance who stood behind his chair. ``Hey buddy.''
+``Right, got it,'' he said, then smirked over to Jonas Fa. He forked into a new instance who stood behind his chair. ``Hey buddy.''
 
 ``Hey yourself.'' Jonas Fa grinned, forking as well. ``Hit me.''
 
@@ -224,15 +224,15 @@ Answers Will Not Help leaned over and socked him solidly in the shoulder.
 
 ``Ow! Not you, you little snot,'' he said, laughing.
 
-``Later, children,'' Jonas Ko's new instance said, reaching out to take Fa's and in his own.
+``Later, children,'' Jonas Ko's new instance said, reaching out to take Fa's hand in his own.
 
-After a moment's look of concentration on both of their faces, the new Jonas Fa quit. Jonas Ko immediately stumbled to the side, clutching at his head. We all looked on, startled.
+After a moment's look of concentration on both of their faces, the new Jonas Fa quit. Jonas Ko — now tagged Jonas Ko/Fa, though whether by him or the System wasn't clear to me — immediately stumbled to the side, clutching at his head. We all looked on, startled.
 
 ``Jesus Christ,'' he mumbled, kneading at his temples. ``Felt like a normal merge, but\ldots weird. So fucking weird.''
 
 ``Weird how?'' Answers Will Not Help asked cautiously.
 
-``He's just\ldots ugh,'' Jonas Ko groaned, straightening up. ``He's just not like me at all. It's like\ldots like he's living inside my head with me. This is going to take \emph{ages} to reconcile. What the fuck\ldots{}''
+``He's just\ldots ugh,'' Jonas Ko/Fa groaned, straightening up. ``He's just not like me at all. It's like\ldots like he's living inside my head with me. This is going to take \emph{ages} to reconcile. What the fuck\ldots{}''
 
 ``How long have you two diverged, anyhow?''
 
@@ -240,9 +240,9 @@ After a moment's look of concentration on both of their faces, the new Jonas Fa
 
 Answers Will Not Help laughed. ``Yikes.''
 
-The new Jonas Ko/Fa shook his head and said, ``Fuck this. We'll play with this later,'' and then quit.
+Jonas Ko/Fa shook his head and said, ``Fuck this. We'll play with this later,'' and then quit.
 
-Throughout this show, Dry Grass's eyes never left me. I returned her gaze anxiously, mulling over the words we'd shared on our date. \emph{There is potential for friendship and love, yes, but also the potential for pain.}
+Throughout this show, Dry Grass's eyes never left me. I returned her gaze anxiously, mulling over the words we'd shared on our date. Words she now remembered as well. \emph{There is potential for friendship and love, yes, but also the potential for pain.}
 
 I mulled over those words, then made up my mind anyway.
 

marsh/content/017.tex

@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 ``Reed, are you sure?'' Rush asked.
 
-I shook my head. ``I don't think there's any guarantee that this will do anything like what we're hoping. I think it may actually go badly. When I watched Jonas do this, he said it felt really weird, like a really old merge, but also from a vastly different angle, rather than the usual down-tree.''
+I shook my head. ``I don't think there's any guarantee that this will do anything like what we're hoping. I think it may actually be quite rough. When I watched Jonas do this, he said it felt really weird, like a really old merge, but also from a vastly different angle, rather than the usual down-tree.''
 
 ``He, uh\ldots{}'' Sedge said, then cleared her throat. ``He actually quit pretty soon after, said it felt like Jonas Fa was living inside of his head before there was any reconciliation.''
 
@@ -26,7 +26,7 @@ I laughed. ``It's a nice sim.''
 
 ``So before systime 1 compared to Marsh uploading in 178,'' I added. ``And forking dates of 1 and 25, while us oldest forks are less than a hundred. We were, what, systime 180?''
 
-Lily, who had been silent and sullen up until that point, nodded. ``systime 180+11. Individuated, but not to the same extent.'' She looked away, mumbling, ``Enough for some differences in opinion.''
+Lily, who had been silent and sullen up until that point, nodded. ``Systime 180+11. Individuated, but not to the same extent.'' She looked away, mumbling, ``Enough for some differences in opinion.''
 
 Cress sighed. ``I get it, Lily. I really do.'' It stuffed its hands in its pockets, still staring at its cocladist. ``But we can sort that out between us later. For now, we'll have to contend with the fact that this new instance is going to have the same argument within them, right? Marsh managed it, so I trust that they'll be able to, but still.''
 
@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@ Her shoulders slumped. She nodded again, falling back into silence.
 
 ``How about this,'' I said gently. ``We give this a go and just watch to see how it goes. If they quit, they quit. We don't need to push so hard that it becomes a problem. If they stick around, then we can all discuss it together to see how it feels. If they feel closer to Marsh, neat. If not, I guess that's fine, too, and they can decide whether or not to stick around.''
 
-``I mean, that sounds fine by me,'' Sedge said. ``Tule?''
+``I mean, that sounds alright by me,'' Sedge said. ``Tule?''
 
 He nodded.
 
@@ -94,7 +94,7 @@ We trooped up the stairs and into the bedroom. Here, despite the decor of the re
 
 \emph{``Lily looked uncomfortable,''} Cress sent. \emph{``I sent an instance to clear out the paintings. They're in the closet.''}
 
-I nodded subtly to it. \emph{``Probably a good idea, I guess. Besides, a little busy for someone who's probably going to be having a rough time.''}
+I nodded subtly to it. \emph{``Probably a good idea. Besides, a little busy for someone who's probably going to be having a rough time.''}
 
 ``So,'' Rush said as we shut the door. ``What do we do next?''
 
@@ -110,7 +110,7 @@ I shrugged helplessly. ``About a decade.''
 
 ``More recent than me, at least.''
 
-``I can do it,'' Lily said quietly. ``I saw them two years ago.''
+``I can do it,'' Lily said quietly. ``I saw them six months ago.''
 
 I frowned. ``You did?''
 
@@ -194,7 +194,7 @@ They shrugged, then winced at their own apparent soreness, nodding to Cress as i
 
 We talked for a while longer, though descriptions were slim, repetitions of what we'd already heard. It felt weird. It felt itchy. It felt weird. It felt strange. It felt weird. Even having experienced one such merge before, it didn't wholly make sense, and I was left intensely curious. My experience had been so mild, with only a week's worth of memories, rather than dozens of years from five different instances. I had no idea if five hours was good or bad for managing all of that, but we'd always been adept at merging.
 
-``Hey,'' they said at last, once the line of questions had died down. ``What do you say about inviting Vos and Pierre over. Maybe they'd like to meet me.''
+``Hey,'' they said at last, once the line of questions had died down. ``What do you say about inviting Vos and Pierre over? Maybe they'd like to meet me.''
 
 I winced. I'd been dreading this moment. I'd intentionally not brought up the subject of Marsh's partners, lest that dissuade my cocladists. Admonitions rang in my ears, Hanne's and Dry Grass's. \emph{I'm a bit wary you won't get what you want,} Hanne had said. \emph{The potential for pain,} Dry Grass had said.
 
@@ -236,11 +236,11 @@ They blanched.
 
 ``What did you say to me?''
 
-Looking over to me nervously, they began to shake.
+Looking over to me nervously, they began to tremble.
 
 ``What did you say to me? Tell me,'' she said, voice growing louder, higher in pitch, until she was nearly screaming. Pierre quit unceremoniously, and she stomped forward a few paces. ``What did you fucking say? What did you say? What did you say, whoever you are?! You said it every fucking year! \emph{What did you fucking say?!}''
 
-New Marsh quailed at her advance, ducking around to hide behind my arm. I could read the way that Cress moved in them, could see that warring with the need to be understood that I felt in myself, the need for my little bargain to work.
+New Marsh quailed at her advance, ducking around to hide behind my arm. I could read the way that Cress moved in them, could see that warring with the need to be understood that I felt in myself, the need for my little bargain with grief to work.
 
 Vos's gaze shifted to me. ``\emph{You,}'' she growled. ``This was \emph{your} idea, wasn't it?''
 
@@ -248,7 +248,7 @@ I swallowed dryly and nodded.
 
 She finished her advance in two long strides, hand already winding back, and struck me across the face hard enough to knock me to the side against the wall. I crumpled under the sudden rush of pain, winding up in a jumbled heap on the floor at the base of the stairs. New Marsh darted back as the rest of the clade cried out.
 
-````I'll see you in a few, love'','' she spat, tears coursing down her cheeks. ``That's what they said, you awful piece of shit.''I'll see you in a few.''\,''
+````I'll see you in a few, beautiful'','' she spat, tears coursing down her cheeks. ``That's what they said, you awful piece of shit.''I'll see you in a few.''\,''
 
 ``Vos, I--''
 
@@ -270,7 +270,7 @@ We stepped first to Infinite Café, an enormous sim that allowed any coffee shop
 
 I upped my estimate to tens of thousands.
 
-We numbly followed Lily as she led us through the incredibly crowded thoroughfare to an unassuming brick building with a glass door. Inside we found a sparklingly white interior, with the bar and tables made of looping and curving slabs of marble.
+We numbly followed Lily as she led us through the incredibly crowded thoroughfare to an unassuming brick building with a glass door. Inside we found a sparklingly white interior, with the bar and tables made of looping and curving slabs of marble. Out front, the ice field of a glacier glinted in the sun. Whether sim echoed bar or the other way around was unclear.
 
 Pausing just inside the door, shielding our eyes against the brightness of so much white, Rush laughed. ``Goddamn, what a look.''
 
@@ -312,7 +312,7 @@ I rolled my eyes.
 
 They nodded. ``Sure.''
 
-``But yeah, even just going through with this felt like a step forward after however many steps backward. It feels like ages since that dinner at your place, Reed.''
+``But yeah, even just going through with this felt like a step forward after however many steps backward. It feels like ages since that dinner at your place, Reed, all that time getting more and more upset.''
 
 ``Yeah.''
 

marsh/content/018.tex

@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-A dull clang rang out from the dim light of the stage, followed by a sickening thump. The girl, looking no older than fifteen, sprawled, limp and bloodied, unconscious on parquet. A person stood over her, breathing heavily, spittle flecking their lips and madness in their eyes. They let out a feral scream and leapt high in the air, a length of pipe held over their head and brought it down with all of their might.
+A dull clang rang out from the dim light of the stage, followed by a sickening thump. The girl, looking no older than fifteen, sprawled, limp and bloodied, unconscious on parquet. A person stood over her, breathing heavily, spittle flecking their lips and madness in their eyes. They let out a feral scream and leapt high in the air, a length of pipe held over their head, which they brought down with all of their might.
 
 Right as it was about to land, the lights went out, leaving the entire auditorium from stage to doors in pitch black. In the darkness, the last of the shout was punctuated with another clang and a horrible crunch.
 
@@ -26,7 +26,7 @@ Swivelling her chair toward the hurtling skunk, Dry Grass threw her arms wide, l
 
 ``Dry Grass Dry Grass Dry Grass!''
 
-``Motes!'' She pushed the skunk — who looked to be no more than ten, despite being the same three hundred odd years old as Dry Grass — away from her enough to meet her gaze. ``You stupid\ldots awful\ldots{}'' She fell to crying, clutching Motes to her front once again.
+``Motes!'' She pushed the skunk — who looked to be no more than ten, despite being the same three hundred odd years old as Dry Grass, a childishness more earnest and real than that of Warmth In Fire — away from her enough to meet her gaze. ``You stupid\ldots awful\ldots{}'' She fell to crying once again, clutching Motes to her front.
 
 \emph{``That means I did a good job!''} the skunk sent via a sensorium message as she rested her head over her cocladist's shoulder, grinning at me.
 
@@ -38,9 +38,9 @@ The skunk squirmed about in her arms until she was sitting sideways in her lap.
 
 Dry Grass took the chance to wipe her face with a napkin swiped from the table. ``I would have appreciated that, yes.''
 
-``You would have hated the original! Ioan wrote it so that my body was supposed to stay on the stage instead of just the blood. When I said I wanted the part, ey changed it to be just the blood so there was not just a kid's body laying on stage, even though it took some creative work with gravity.''
+``You would have hated the original! Ioan wrote it so that the body was supposed to stay on the stage instead of just the blood. When I said I wanted the part, ey changed it to be just the blood so there was not just a kid's body laying on stage, even though it took some creative work with gravity.''
 
-I glanced back to the stage, realizing that it was actually canted toward the audience by a few degrees. Enough that we could clearly see the surface of the stage — back to a blissfully clean matte black instead of the blood-stained parquet that had been there before — without it being so unnerving as to make us feel like we were going to fall towards it, or that the actors were going to fall into the audience.
+I glanced back to the stage, realizing that it was actually canted toward the audience by about fifteen degrees. Enough that we could clearly see the surface of the stage — back to a blissfully clean matte black instead of the blood-stained parquet that had been there before — without it being so unnerving as to make us feel like we were going to fall towards it, or that the actors were going to fall into the audience.
 
 ``You are right,'' Dry Grass was saying, straightening out Motes's shirt and overalls, both of which were thoroughly stained with paint. ``I would have hated that even more. I did not even see the rest of the play, skunklet. I put my head down and turned down my hearing.''
 
@@ -58,7 +58,7 @@ I watched as Beholden started pulling chairs away from the next table over with
 
 ``You have, but Motes has already apologized,'' Dry Grass said.
 
-A Finger Pointing winced at Dry Grass' words, setting her drink down and offering a bow. ``I am sorry, my dear; I recognize that our approach to reclamation is at times quite uncomfortable. I will endeavor not to be so careless in the future.''
+A Finger Pointing winced at Dry Grass' words, setting her drink down and offering a bow. ``I am sorry, my dear; I recognize that our approach to reclamation is at times quite uncomfortable. I will endeavor not to be so careless in the future. More warnings, perhaps.''
 
 She showed none of that wariness when her eyes came back up to meet mine. ``I am sure we each feel differently about this particular production. I, for one, would have been satisfied even if the house were empty; all that preparation, that one climactic performance makes for a potent font of catharsis, does it not?''
 
@@ -74,7 +74,7 @@ Beholden laughed. ``You are so very much yourself, Dry Grass.'' She gave her ins
 
 ``Yes,'' Dry Grass said. ``At least I have. News has started to come in from Castor and Pollux. It was a shock to hear from In The Wind\#Pollux. I have set aside processing that for later, though; I believe Reed even has a letter.''
 
-I sighed, leaning forward to grab my drink off the bar before settling back in my chair. I was glad I'd gone for a wine rather than anything fizzy. My throat still felt raw from the crying. ``I'm doing okay, I think. Coming to terms with it all. The play was\ldots a lot. I guess part of why it hit me so hard was because I heard back from Marsh\#Castor today.''
+I sighed, leaning forward to grab my drink off the bar before settling back in my chair. I was glad I'd gone for a wine rather than anything fizzy. My throat still felt raw from the crying. ``I'm doing okay, I think. Coming to terms with it all. The play was\ldots a lot. I guess part of why it hit me so hard was because, yeah, I heard back from Marsh\#Castor today.''
 
 ``Oh, Reed,'' Dry Grass said, leaning over to squeeze my hand. ``Do you want to talk about it?''
 
@@ -86,9 +86,9 @@ Motes, preoccupied obtaining as much affection as she could, merely shrugged.
 
 I laughed, nodded.
 
-A Finger Pointing leaned down to her Motes's ear. ``My dear, could you--?'' she cooed. The little leaned up, dotted her nose affectionately to her cheek, and then quit. ``Please, Reed; I am \emph{intensely} curious what they have to say about all this.''
+A Finger Pointing leaned down to her Motes's ear. ``My dear, could you--?'' she cooed. The little skunk leaned up, dotted her nose affectionately to her cheek, and then quit. ``Please, Reed; I am \emph{intensely} curious what they have to say about all this.''
 
-Beholden seemed focused on straightening out Motes' mane — perhaps a little more than could be expected, as though working to distract herself — though she nodded all the same.
+Beholden seemed focused on brushing out Motes' mane — perhaps a little more than could be expected, as though working to distract herself — though she nodded all the same.
 
 ``Alright, thanks. I'll just read it to you, it's fairly short.'' Feeling a little silly just staring off into space to read, I summoned up the letter on a sheet of paper and began to read.
 
@@ -105,22 +105,22 @@ Our anxiety began to grow without hearing from you. We knew you were busy, at le
 
 To finally get a letter that said that I was dead, however, made me feel in a way I can't even begin to describe. I was sad, because of course I was — someone I knew and talked with with some regularity was now dead. I was stunned, because of course I was — the disaster was now very immediate and real, affecting my own clade.
 
-But what am I to do with the knowledge that it was specifically me that was dead? You live on, as do Lily and Cress, Rush and Sedge and Tule, but the root of your clade is now gone. You're now six instead of seven. You're now a clade without a root instance. \emph{We're} a clade without a root instance. I exist, sure, as does Marsh\#Pollux, but our down-tree does not. We came from them, didn't we?
+But what am I to do with the knowledge that it was specifically \emph{me} that was dead? You live on, as do Lily and Cress, Rush and Sedge and Tule, but the root of your clade is now gone. You're now six instead of seven. You're now a clade without a root instance. \emph{We're} a clade without a root instance. I exist, sure, as does Marsh\#Pollux, but our down-tree doesn't. We came from them, didn't we?
 
-Here I went on for some length about what it must mean for a clade to be without a root, about how you're now three completely separate clades, unrelated. That's still true, in a way. It's true in the clade sense, in the \emph{tree} sense, but apparently no longer in the mechanical sense. This cross-tree merging! It sounds like it's going to change everything. No more merging down only. `Cross-tree' means less now; sure, there's the lack of shared memory, but no longer are they out of reach of merging.
+Here I went on for some length about what it must mean for a clade to be without a root, about how you're now three completely separate clades, unrelated, but I realized I was saying relatively little. That's still true, in a way. It's true in the clade sense, in the \emph{tree} sense, but apparently no longer in the mechanical sense. This cross-tree merging! It sounds like it's going to change everything. No more merging down only. `Cross-tree' means less now; sure, there's the lack of shared memory, but no longer are they out of reach of merging.
 
 I don't blame you at all for what you all did to create Anubias. I know that it hurt Vos and Pierre, and I hope that, some time in the future, they can bring themselves to forgive you. But honestly, I would have done the same. I would've done everything in my power to reach for some bit of the old to bring back to life. I know that Anubias is \emph{not} me, that they can never be the root of the clade, but you did what you felt you had to to try and make your lives more complete.
 
 I hope there are more letters on the way, but please write me as soon as you get this. You'll have had eight months of getting used to life without our root instance. You'll have had eight months without Marsh, and I want to know how it feels. I want to know how to get over this very real, but very strange grief.
 
-Until then, you all have all our love. I'm glad to hear that, even in the midst of this, that love is still a thing and that you and Dry Grass are getting closer. Keep yourselves safe, and stay in touch. We'll do the same.
+Until then, you all have all our love. I'm glad to hear that, even in the midst of this, that love is still a thing and that you and Dry Grass are revelling in that. I'll have to meet up with her instance, here on Castor. Keep yourselves safe, and stay in touch. We'll do the same.
 
 Marsh\#Castor
 \end{quote}
 
 When I finished reading, our little crowd sat in silence, each thinking their own thoughts.
 
-My eyes were drawn to A Finger Pointing, to the pensive tapping-together of her fingertips. ``I have been looking forward to the opportunity to speak with you about just that, Reed. About this cross-tree merge, I mean. About Anubias.'' She glanced at Beholden, who nodded, though her own gaze remained pensive, then went on. ``We, too, are without our root instance. We are without our Michelle Hadje, she who became ten, who became — nominally — one hundred.''
+My eyes were drawn to A Finger Pointing, to the pensive tapping-together of her fingertips. ``I have been looking forward to the opportunity to speak with you about just that, Reed. About this cross-tree merge, I mean. About Anubias.'' She glanced at Beholden, who nodded, though her own gaze remained distant, then went on. ``We, too, are without our root instance. We are without our Michelle Hadje, she who became ten, who became — nominally — one hundred.''
 
 Dry Grass carefully nudged Motes out of her lap so that she could straighten out her blouse. The little skunk wandered off to haul up a far-too-big chair for herself.
 
@@ -128,11 +128,11 @@ Dry Grass carefully nudged Motes out of her lap so that she could straighten out
 
 I looked down at the paper, just as I had done for much of the day already.
 
-``I would like to hear how you feel, Reed,'' Dry Grass said. ``We all have our thoughts on the matter — we are Odists, of \emph{course} we do — I am sure, but before we taint yours, tell us how you feel.''
+``I would like to hear how you feel, too, Reed,'' Dry Grass said. ``We all have our thoughts on the matter — we are Odists, of \emph{course} we do — I am sure, but before we taint yours, tell us how you feel.''
 
 I sighed, eventually folding up the letter and returning it to my pocket. The physicality of it made it feel more real, focused my mind in one particular spot. Getting it out of my hands gave me, somehow, permission to look up and speak directly to the others.
 
-``I'm feeling torn,'' I admitted. ``I like Anubias. They've quickly found a place in our clade. They aren't \emph{Marsh}, though, and I've been\ldots I don't know.'' I took a moment to reclaim my train of thought as my speech stumbled to a stop. ``I guess I'm well into grieving now, and even if Vos hasn't reopened communication, I'm sitting with her in that loss of someone important. Whether or not it's important that they were the root instance varies from day to day. Today, it feels pretty important.''
+``I'm feeling torn,'' I admitted. ``I like Anubias. They've quickly found a place in our clade. They aren't \emph{Marsh}, though. I've been\ldots I don't know.'' I took a moment to reclaim my train of thought as my speech stumbled to a stop. ``I guess I'm well into grieving now, and even if Vos hasn't reopened communication, I'm sitting with her in that loss of someone important. Whether or not it's important that they were the root instance varies from day to day. Today, it feels pretty important.''
 
 Dry Grass nodded. ``There were times throughout our history that Michelle felt more like a friend or sister than our down-tree instance. It hurt either way, but the mechanical aspects, the sundering of the ten stanzas, lingered often in our thoughts.''
 
@@ -144,7 +144,7 @@ Beholden looked suddenly away, mastering some intense emotion that washed over h
 
 When her voice failed, A Finger Pointing reached over to her partner, pulling her close by the shoulders.
 
-She sniffed, sighed, then went on. ``--in Death Itself and I Do Not Know, but also in Muse.''
+She sniffed, sighed, then went on. ``--in Death Itself and I Do Not Know, but also in Muse, my up-tree.''
 
 Motes drew her legs up onto the chair with her and buried her face in her arms.
 
@@ -152,7 +152,7 @@ Motes drew her legs up onto the chair with her and buried her face in her arms.
 
 A Finger Pointing watched Dry Grass carefully while Beholden spoke, turning her gaze on me only after some silence lingered between us. ``I do not believe this premonition, of course, but you can see how it affects each of us. There is enough death in our clade to make us wonder, yes?''
 
-She spent a moment doting on Beholden before straightening up, adjusting her blouse with a sigh. ``There is, perhaps, some of my longing for Dear in this — instance artistry has held my interest since I met it — but I have been gradually reaching out to each of my cocladists in the hopes of creating a synthesis of our clade — our own Anubias, if you will — not to recreate Michelle but to better understand one another and ourselves through the lens of someone who is each of us at once.''
+She spent a moment doting on Beholden before straightening up, brushing out her blouse with a sigh. ``There is, perhaps, some of my longing for Dear in this — it is the instance artist of our clade, now no longer on Lagrange, and instance artistry has held my interest since I met it — but I have been gradually reaching out to each of my cocladists in the hopes of creating a synthesis of our clade — our own Anubias, if you will — not to recreate Michelle but to better understand one another and ourselves through the lens of someone who is each of us at once.''
 
 Dry Grass nodded. ``The mutual understanding is a thing I am particularly interested in. There have been schisms within our clade that might\ldots well, not be mended, but may at least provide greater understanding.''
 
@@ -166,7 +166,7 @@ Dry Grass smiled wryly. ``I was surprised at just how willing Hammered Silver wa
 
 A Finger Pointing looked wide-eyed at me, leaning back. ``Reed?''
 
-I laughed. ``It was hardly a punch! I slapped her in the heat of an argument. Don't worry, I got that and more from Vos,'' I said, shaking my head. ``I still feel awful about that. It's\ldots well, not really something I thought I had in me. Everything was just so stressful around then. It was less than a week after the attack.''
+I laughed, sheepish. ``It was hardly a punch! I slapped her in the heat of an argument. Don't worry, I got that and more from Vos,'' I said, shaking my head. ``I still feel awful about that. It's\ldots well, not really something I thought I had in me. Everything was just so stressful around then. It was less than a week after the attack.''
 
 My words didn't seem to reach her, or perhaps they weren't convincing enough. She looked warily to Dry Grass, then back to me. ``Grief in the wake of the Century Attack has caused a great deal of pain; and it did not stop with the loss of our loved ones on New Year's Eve, did it? Muse quit a week later out of despair — her and so many others in her position — and now I learn the Marshans and their beloved are \emph{hitting} each other!''
 
@@ -182,13 +182,13 @@ Dry Grass nodded. ``I would not want you to remain in anxiety, of course, but I
 
 A Finger Pointing crosses her arms. ``Anubias possesses both your and Lily's perspective on that spat; what have they to say about it?''
 
-``It's certainly come up in conversations with them, how they were dealing with the conflicting views of everything from throughout the clade. Marsh had clearly done so, after all, right? So it's not like it's out of reach for us to fully reconcile.''
+``It's certainly come up in conversations with them, how they were dealing with the conflicting views of everything from throughout the clade. Marsh had clearly done so, after all, right? Whatever thoughts I had of reconstruction in that particular sense evaporated almost immediately, and we all leaned into this reconciliation as soon as they picked their name, so it's not like it's out of reach for us to fully reconcile.''
 
 Beholden smirked. ``I know Slow Hours and I have had our spats from time to time--.''
 
 ``More than that!'' Motes said, grinning.
 
-``--\emph{often}, so the cross-tree merging has given us another tool to mediate.'' She rolled her eyes, adding, ``\emph{When} we remember to actually use it.''
+``--\emph{often}, so the cross-tree merging has given us another tool to mediate.'' She rolled her eyes, adding, ``\emph{When} we decide to actually use it.''
 
 ``Well, huh,'' I said, sitting back in my chair, arms crossed. ``I hadn't actually made that connection — that cross-tree merging could be a deliberate form of mediation rather than some accident of Anubias.''
 
@@ -206,4 +206,4 @@ A Finger Pointing tilts her head at Beholden. ``You want to kick Ioan's ass for
 
 ``I want to kick eir ass just in general,'' she said primly. ``It just seems like it might be fun.''
 
-``Oh, it \emph{is},'' she mused, before turning her gaze on me once more. ``So let that be my request to you, Reed. I want you and Lily to talk about this, to consult with Anubias, and to tell me how that goes. I am sure Dear would have a heyday if it were here to explore cross-tree merging, but seeing as it went the Ansible — I am \emph{very} much stealing that turn of phrase — I think I would like to collaborate with you three on this.''
+``Oh, it \emph{is},'' she mused, before turning her gaze on me once more. ``So let that be my request to you, Reed. I want you and Lily to talk about this, to consult with Anubias, and to tell me how that goes. I am sure Dear would have a heyday if it were here to explore cross-tree merging, but seeing as it went the Ansible — I am \emph{very} much stealing that turn of phrase — I think I would like to collaborate with you three on this new form of reclamation.''

marsh/content/prophecies.tex

@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-To step into The Bean Cycle was to be immediately assailed by sound. There was, as to be expected, the muted howl of steam wands bringing milk up to temperature, but mixed in was the clatter and clicking of work being done on bicycles. Wheels were spun, chain was dragged through derailleurs, tires were changed. Milk was steamed, espresso was made, names were hollered out.
+To step into The Bean Cycle was to be immediately assailed by sound. There was, as to be expected, the clink of glasses and muted howl of steam wands bringing milk up to temperature, but mixed in was the clatter and clicking of work being done on bicycles. Wheels were spun, chain was dragged through derailleurs, tires were changed. Milk was steamed, espresso was made, names were hollered out.
 
 It was not the type of din that Slow Hours expected for the one she and If I Dream were looking for. It was too uneven, this wall of sound. Too unpredictable. The steam wands were too piercing and the occasional clang of a wrench or raucous laughter over some story of a crash too jarring.
 
@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@ Still frowning, Slow Hours allowed herself to be guided down the counter to wait
 
 If I Dream nodded. ``Yes, quite sure. Hasher was the one who tipped me off, and I\ldots have seen her outside.''
 
-``You are already watching her, then, yes?''
+``You are already watching her, then?''
 
 The panther smiled faintly, gave an even fainter shrug. ``I am nothing if not myself.''
 
@@ -46,11 +46,11 @@ The panther laughed once more. ``Well, I was going to say the story, but the cof
 
 It was only another minute or two of waiting before Hasher waved to get their attention, gesturing to three paper cups sitting on the bar, ready for them. Slow Hours dropped the cone of silence and winced at the sudden barrage of sounds that followed. She turned her hearing down a few ticks. ``Thank you,'' she said, bowing. ``By the way, we were hoping to meet up with a cocladist of ours. She is a skunk, a furry, built rather like myself.'' She gestured down at herself—human, instead, with pale skin and curly black hair tied up in a messy bun, but stocky and short. ``Black fur, white stripe, a little jumpy. Have you seen her around?''
 
-Wiping their hands on a towel hooked into the strings of their apron, Hasher nodded, tilting their head over toward the couch full of robots. ``The one who was sleeping there the last few weeks, I'm guessing?''
+Wiping their hands on a towel hooked into the strings of their apron, Hasher nodded, tilting their head over toward the couch full of robots. ``The one who was sleeping there the last few days, I'm guessing?''
 
 ``Sleeping?'' Slow Hours asked, frowning.
 
-``Yeah. She would just kind of curl up at one end for a few hours and nap. No biggie, of course, and we all liked her. She only ever slept while things were slow, and she'd always move when asked.'' They broke out into a grin again, shrugging. ``Or when it got too loud. Or when it got too quiet. Or just every now and then for no reason we could figure out, but she was always very polite about it.''
+``Yeah. She would just kind of curl up at one end for a few hours and nap. No biggie, of course, and we all liked her. She only ever slept while things were slow, and she'd always move when asked.'' They broke out into a grin again, shrugging. ``Or when it got too loud. Or when it got too quiet. Or just every now and then for no reason we could figure out—very stimmy type—but she was always very polite about it.''
 
 ``Yes, that would be her,'' she said, smiling. ``Well, thank you very much. Did she leave recently?''
 
@@ -70,11 +70,11 @@ Lining either side of the street were entrances to cafes. Cafes, coffee shops, d
 
 She had no clue how it worked, if it really was that big, but the sheer size of the System had been driven home quite effectively over the last few weeks—23 \emph{billion} dead! The number remained surreal—so she was hopeful that there were no tricks involved, no attempts to make it look bigger than it was.
 
-She was hopeful that all of these people here on this relatively crowded street were real. She hoped they found coffee and friends and loved ones and long-lost selves.
+She was hopeful that all of these people here on this relatively crowded street were real, not constructs or illusions. She hoped they found coffee and friends and loved ones and long-lost selves.
 
 A gentle touch to her shoulder brought her back to the present. She looked over to If I Dream, then followed her gaze to the center of the thoroughfare.
 
-There, in the middle of the path, stood a skunk. She looked much like others in her clade, with white-striped black fur, tapered snout, cookie ears poking out from an unruly mane, and where she differed, it mostly came down to clothing. She wore a linen tunic in pale yellow, cinched around the waist with a leather belt, and a pair of loose, woolen trousers in a dusty brown. Her mane was tied back with a kerchief of some sort, a pastel triangle fully visible to them as she stood stock still and stared straight up to the arch above.
+There, in the middle of the path, stood a skunk. She looked much like others in her clade, with white-striped black fur, tapered snout, cookie ears poking out from an unruly mane, and where she differed, it mostly came down to clothing. She wore a linen tunic in dandelion yellow, cinched around the waist with a leather belt, and a pair of loose, woolen trousers in a dusty brown. Her mane was tied back with a kerchief of some sort, a pastel triangle fully visible to them as she stood stock still and stared straight up to the arch above.
 
 Slow Hours felt concern tugging at her cheeks, while a glance at If I Dream showed only curiosity.
 
@@ -98,7 +98,7 @@ With that, she began to pace in an abbreviated line before them, alternating bet
 
 Slow Hours looked to If I Dream for help, and the panther stepped forward silently and wrapped her arms around the skunk from behind.
 
-At first, she thought this would be a prelude to them stepping from the sim together, or perhaps some affectionate bear hug, though this did not fit what she knew of their casual acquaintanceship.
+At first, she thought this would be a prelude to them stepping from the sim together, or perhaps some affectionate bear hug, though this did not fit what she knew of their faint acquaintanceship.
 
 Instead, though, If I Dream simply squeezed around the skunk and stood still. There was a squeak and a tense-looking squirm from What Right Have I at first, but in surprisingly short order, her breathing fell under her control and she slouched against her cocladist, looking as close to relaxed as Slow Hours had ever seen her.
 
@@ -204,7 +204,7 @@ Slow Hours laughed. ``My little predictions are not prophecies. They are just th
 
 ``Tell us\ldots ah, I mean, will you tell us some of what you dreamed?''
 
-``Yes. It has happened four times. Only those four, though.'' She held up her hand with that many fingers raised as she explained. ``Perhaps Lagrange got hit by a stray cosmic ray or some other fancy particle and it flipped a bit inside the portion that contained me, and I was given some premonition. Smacked upside the head by Apollo, yes? Or, in your terms, visited by the angel of the Lord who gave me a honeyed scroll to eat.''
+``Yes. It has happened four times. Only those four, though.'' She held up her hand with as many fingers raised as she explained. ``Perhaps Lagrange got hit by a stray cosmic ray or some other fancy particle and it flipped a bit inside the portion that contained me, and I was given some premonition. Smacked upside the head by Apollo, yes? Or, in your terms, visited by the angel of the Lord who gave me a honeyed scroll to eat.''
 
 She tapped one finger. ``The first was about Qoheleth and his little\ldots adventure. Some two decades before, I had the same dream five nights in a row, of him standing in his robes, arms raised to the heavens, and then crumbling down into sand. At the time, I did not even realize that it was him. I had not seen him in more than a century, and when I had, he was dressed like a natty old college professor.''
 
@@ -216,17 +216,17 @@ There was a moment of silence as she considered the fourth and how best to descr
 
 What Right Have I listened attentively to Slow Hours's description of her prophecies, or at least prophetic dreams. As she spoke, her cocladist's expression darkened, until by the end, she was scowling. ``I am no Daniel,'' the skunk said once she had finished. ``I will not scry your \emph{mene, mene, tekel, parsin.} But if you had foreknowledge of Michelle's suicide or the Century Attack, why did you not say anything? Who might we be if Michelle still lived? Might Lagrange be unharmed if we but knew this?''
 
-By the end, she was nearly growling.
+By the end, she was nearly growling, so many of her verbal tics melting away as that emotion rose.
 
 If I Dream lifted her snout from where her gaze had drifted. ``Did she know, my dear? Or did she only have a recurring anxious nightmare? Do we not all have a hundred recurring anxious nightmares a year?''
 
-The skunk glowered. ``And? If that is--'' A tic briefly interrupted her, and this time she really did growl, though it appeared to be more at herself than anything. ``If that is so, then why were these not known?''
+The skunk glowered. ``And? If that is--'' A tic briefly interrupted her, a jerk of the head to the side, and this time she really did growl, though it appeared to be more at herself than anything. ``If that is so, then why were these not known?''
 
 Slow Hours straightened up. ``I apologize if that came off as in any way glib, What Right Have I, or as though I could have done anything about them. I did try to get in touch with Michelle after those nights of dreams, but she only smiled and reassured me that she would''live on''. It was not until after she quit that those words had any import.''
 
 What Right Have I's shoulders sagged, though she was clearly still gritting her teeth.
 
-She sighed, continuing, ``And perhaps it is as If I Dream says. They were anxious nightmares. However, they still bore the acrid tang of ill omens to me. There was a scent of premonition, and so I have slotted them neatly into that category, even if they were only caused by anxiety.''
+She sighed, continuing, ``And perhaps it is as If I Dream says. They were anxious nightmares. However, they still bore the acrid tang of ill omens to me. There was a scent of premonition, and so I have slotted them neatly into that category, even if they \emph{were} only caused by anxiety.''
 
 There followed a long moment while the skunk processed this. She seemed to be running down a mental checklist, as her rapid breathing shifted almost immediately into something deeper and more even, her posture straightened from a wary hunch as though ready to bolt, and her expression settled into a rather stiff half-smile. All spoke of various bits of therapy Slow Hours remembered from centuries back.
 
@@ -266,10 +266,10 @@ She accepted with a grateful—if still wan—smile.
 
 Slow Hours returned that smile, saying quietly, ``That was the dream I had, you know. The premonition. An upwelling of joy and then an overflowing. She looked up to the sun, and the sun was RJ, and then they were one and the same, and it was all joy.''
 
-At this, What Right Have I burst into tears. She did not cry prettily, but very few people did. It was a brief cry, however, and soon after, she scooted back to the furthest limit of the cone of silence and drew her legs up onto the couch with her, mumbling as she did, ``Slow Hours, you are the fucking worst.''
+At this, What Right Have I burst into tears. She did not cry prettily, but very few people did. It was a brief cry, however, and soon after she scooted back to the furthest limit of the cone of silence and drew her legs up onto the couch with her, growling as she did, ``Slow Hours, you are the fucking worst.''
 
 ``I am the worst, yes,'' she said, voice still quiet and calm. ``But that is why I am choosing to believe that the premonition was true and why I am choosing to believe that she did find joy, or peace, or at least nothingness and freedom.''
 
 ``They both deserve to be together. I hope that that is what No Longer Myself has obtained. What all of those lost have,'' If I Dream sighed.
 
-``I think\ldots ah, I hope your dreams were true, in the end,'' What Right Have I said after a long silence between the three of them, after each had fallen merely to sniffles. ``I hope that they \emph{were} prophecies, whether or not you knew.''
+``I think\ldots ah, I hope your dreams were true, in the end,'' What Right Have I said after a long silence between the three of them, after each had fallen merely to sniffles. ``I hope that they \emph{were} prophecies, whether or not you knew. If only for that one, I hope that they were true.''