move from work dir

neviim/content/remote/codrin/001.tex

@@ -0,0 +1,159 @@
+\hypertarget{codrin-bux103lanartemis-2346}{%
+\chapter{Codrin Bălan\#Artemis — 2346}}
+\markboth{Codrin Bălan\#Artemis — 2346}{}
+
+\begin{center}
+\emph{Convergence T-minus 3 days, 6 hours, 0 minutes}
+\end{center}
+
+\noindent Arrival.
+
+Arrival and light and noise and a slick, slippery feeling to the air about em.
+
+Codrin stole a few long seconds with eir eyes squinted shut. The light itself was loud, the noise bright. Everything was just slightly off, just slightly wrong.
+
+And then, those seconds passed, and the noise was less blinding, and when ey opened eir eyes, ey no longer felt deafened, and ey was able to take in the world around em. The ground, the dome above, the colonnaded walls, the greenery beyond. Tight-fitting stone, slick and polished.
+
+Before em stood what ey supposed must be the Artemisian delegation.
+
+Turun Ka and Turun Ko, judging by their identical appearance, stood half again as tall as em. Their flesh, what might have otherwise been skin, was made of what looked to be a supple, rubbery material in gunmetal grey. Powerful thighs supported a stocky torso, and the fact that they were leaned slightly forward was counterbalanced with a thick, lizard-like tail behind them. Their shoulders were sloped and narrow, and ey could see now why they had described themselves as equally comfortable on both two and four legs: their hands were clawed and padded with five fingers and an opposable thumb, but so were their feet.
+
+Atop a long neck rising from their shoulders sat heads with a distinctly canine bent. They were shaped, in fact, not too dissimilar from Dear's, though the ears were less outrageously large.
+
+It was the faces, though, that captivated eir attention. They did not have visible mouths or noses, their `muzzles' instead being covered with a somewhat lighter grey version of that same supple coating. \emph{Porous, perhaps?} ey thought. \emph{To let them smell? I don't suppose they need to eat. Maybe for speech?}
+
+Rather than eyes, there was a mirrored panel of black, looking more mercury than plastic or glass. No visible eyes, no visible expressions.
+
+\emph{Well, this will be interesting.}
+
+To their right, a being of similar shape stood on two legs, though they were far smaller, coming up only to Codrin's chin. The longer ey looked, however, the more those similarities began to fall away. Yes, they stood on two powerful legs; yes, their body was canted forward and kept on balance with a thick tail; yes, they had an elongated snout.
+
+However, rather than that supple plastic, they were coated in a scaly hide, washed in oil-sheen colors. Where the firstrace representatives had little in the way of facial features, though, Stolon almost seemed to have a surfeit. Their eyes were bright and curious, their mouth seemingly ready to a smile—or some other expression, ey reminded emself, as what appeared to be a smile to humans may not be so to thirdrace. They did not have hair, as made sense for what looked to be a type of lizard, but they did have a crest of what appeared to be feathers of a sort, or perhaps massively elongated scales.
+
+Beside Stolon and standing a head shorter than even them was a creature that reminded em so much of Debarre that ey was caught off-guard. The resemblance was uncanny: a svelte coat of brown fur with a creamier white starting beneath the chin and heading down over their front—or at least, ey assumed it continued beneath the thin, blue tunic they were wearing—and a black-tipped tail behind. Plenty of whiskers, dark eyes.
+
+The last of the Artemisians, Artante Diria, looked almost-but-not-quite human. Her features seemed far smoother, with a nose that melted into her face and earlobes that ramped smoothly down into her neck below. Beyond that, however, the differences were negligible. She could easily get lost in a crowd of humans with no problem whatsoever, another face of Asian descent, perhaps. She even wore a blue tunic and sarong of nearly identical cut to what ey wore so often.
+
+All five stood still, expectant.
+
+No, not still. Frozen. They stood frozen before the party of emissaries, unmoving. Nothing was moving. The air was still, the light seemed frozen, and it was eerily silent.
+
+Frowning, ey looked beside em at eir own cohort, and much the same held true. There, at least, there was a hint of movement: Sarah was turning slowly to face a noise to her left, over towards where Why Ask Questions was standing. The movement, however, was more than just slow. It was syrupy. It was thick. It was out of phase with em.
+
+All of it was out of phase with em. Everything. The world as a whole.
+
+``The hell\ldots?''
+
+Ey stepped forward enough to look down the line to either side of emself.
+
+Tycho: frozen, confused, blanched.
+
+True Name: eyes held open defiantly, a grimace on her muzzle showing some internal strain.
+
+Sarah: shocked, startled, curious.
+
+Why Ask Questions: mid-shout, a splash of black fur creeping up over her cheek, a ghost of a muzzle before her face.
+
+``What the hell?'' ey repeated.
+
+``You are recorder Codrin Bălan, \emph{anem?}''
+
+Startled, ey whirled to face the party of Artemisians. One of the firstrace members had stepped forward. Assuming the lineup was similar to their own, ey supposed it must be Turun Ko, the recorder, with Turun Ka as leader on the end. Its voice was surprisingly mellifluous for a being that seemed to be an artificial construct.
+
+``Y-yes,'' ey said, shaking er head. ``What\ldots is this\ldots I mean, is this time?''
+
+Turun Ko tilted its chin up in a gesture ey could not understand. ``Yes. You have skewed-departed-slid-away from common time. It is normal-not-unusual for the recorder consciousness-bearing system to detach-accelerate from common time at first. Those such as you and I are primed-eager to observe over time.''
+
+Codrin gripped eir notebook and pen closer to eir chest. ``Common\ldots so, the other emissaries are moving at the same time, I'm just moving slower?''
+
+``Faster. You are existing-in-time faster, thus the other emissaries appear-seem to be moving slower.''
+
+``How do I get back?''
+
+The firstrace\ldots member? Firstracer? The firstracer dipped its snout with a twist to the side that gave em the sense of a shrug. ``There is no hurry-rush. We exist in synchrony. I will teach-instruct you to find common time. I must ask: you are four individuals in five forms in two phenotypes. Are you still five consciousness-bearing systems?''
+
+It took em a moments work to disentangle the question before ey realized that Turun Ko was asking about True Name and Why Ask Questions. They were, ey supposed, still closer to being one individual than any two non-cladists.
+
+``Yes. The Only Time I Know My True Name—or just True Name—and Why Ask Questions Here At\ldots{}'' Ey trailed off, looking at the woman who still appeared to be in mid-shout. The splash of skunk-fur appeared to have crept further up her cheek, though so out-of-phase was she with eir local time that it was hard to say for sure. More, though, something seemed\ldots off about her. She seemed not quite as ey remembered.
+
+``Recorder Codrin Bălan, please continue.''
+
+``Uh, right, sorry. True Name and Why Ask Questions Here At The End Of All Things are cocladists, forks of the same root instance. Why Ask Questions is actually a fork of True Name, who is, in turn, a fork of the root instance, Michelle Hadje. They have individuated. They are\ldots separate consciousness-bearing entities.''
+
+Turun Ko lifted its chin once more. ``Representative Why Ask Questions is in pain.''
+
+``Pain?''
+
+``Pain-of-existence. Pain-of-state-of-being. She is un-whole. This is why we must ask.''
+
+Ey nodded. ``She looks scared. Frightened, or something.''
+
+``Frightened, \emph{anem}, the correct word. Both representative Why Ask Questions and leader True Name are frightened. They are un-whole. They are in pain. Leader True Name is hiding-obscuring it better. Why?''
+
+Something about this discursive, almost lazy form of questioning made Codrin feel as though ey would be late. Ey wanted to urge Turun Ko to get them back to common time. \emph{That's silly, though,} ey thought. \emph{We have all the time we need, if hardly any is passing out there. If `out there' is even the right term.}
+
+Ey said, ``I only have a guess as explained by one of their cocladists, that--''
+
+``Cocladists is multiple forms of one individual, \emph{anem?}''
+
+``Yes\ldots uh, \emph{anem,} correct. One of their cocladists suggested that they might react poorly to the\ldots{}'' Ey trailed off, hunting for the best phrasing. ``To the malleability of time. They underwent some experiences in the past regarding time, so I think they're afraid.''
+
+``Will they remain afraid-in-pain? Will they cohere?''
+
+Codrin was silent for a long moment as ey thought about this. The part of em that wanted to say `yes, of course' argued against the part of em that was intensely focused on that wave of skunk fur creeping its way up over Why Ask Questions's cheek.
+
+``I don't know,'' ey said at last. Ey pointed carefully toward that trim of fur. ``How long did it take for this to appear?''
+
+``0.16 seconds common time from your arrival-constitution.'' Turun Ko stepped closer, bowing its head to investigate the fur. ``She is existing-in-time slower. She appears-seems frozen because she is in slow-time. She skewed-departed-slid-away from common time 0.18 seconds after arrival by a skew of -2.6. Think-remember, recorder Codrin Bălan, and you will know these things.''
+
+Ey tilted eir head and then, considering how it felt to have a merge available to remember, tried to remember the `skew' factor by which eir experience of time differed from common time. The concepts were hazily defined to em—ey didn't know what common time was, where the point of reference lay—and yet all the same, ey knew that eir time-skew factor was +2.18.
+
+On a spark of intuition, ey tried to `remember' being at a skew of one, and sure enough, the world stumbled into movement again, though everything was moving half as fast as ey expected. Sound came through slowly, and ey could hear words beginning—words from Sarah, from Tycho, from Turun Ka. It was unnerving to hear that they had been time-stretched without having their pitch modulated, but ey supposed that would be helpful in time-skewed conversations.
+
+Ey felt the briefest twinge to eir sensorium and frowned. ``What was that?''
+
+``I have tied-attached-synchronized my time skew to yours. If you require help with skew manipulation, I will assist. Think-remember common time, recorder Codrin Bălan.''
+
+Ey nodded and slowly allowed Turun Ko and emself to slip back into common time. There was the faintest sensorium \emph{click}, as though a pin had slid into a shallow notch, informing em that this was the shared moment.
+
+``--My True Name Is When I Dream of the Ode clade will accompany,'' Turun Ka was saying. ``Representative Artante Diria will show you to your rest area. We will conduct formal greetings in one hour common time.''
+
+True Name wavered, reaching out a hand to grip at Codrin's sleeve. She remained stubbornly skunk, clinging to that appearance of being in control. ``Thank you, leader Turun Ka,'' she said, words coming out slowly, spoken through clenched teeth. ``Our apologies.''
+
+The firstracer bowed, tucking its chin close to its chest. ``There is no need to apologize. Allowances are granted to those who arrive from new worlds. Representative Iska will accompany you to discuss further accommodations.'' It turned to face the rest of the emissaries. ``You all may rest and acclimatize in the rest area we have provided for you. We welcome you.''
+
+Artante Diria bowed at the waist, a gesture so easy and recognizable that the four representatives all reciprocated more out of habit.
+
+``Welcome. You may call me representative Artante Diria. This way, please,'' she said, gesturing with a hand.
+
+Codrin hesitated, watching as something happened to bring Why Ask Questions back into sync with common time. Her shout completed and then turned into a low moan as she crumpled to the ground, retching. For the first time since ey'd met Michelle nearly four decades ago, ey watched the dueling identities of a mind split. Skunk and human battled for primacy even as True Name moved to help her cocladist to her feet.
+
+``Where are they taking them?'' ey asked once ey'd caught up with Artante and the other emissaries.
+
+``There are several unison rooms available in the compound. They will be given one as quarters.''
+
+``I'm guessing those are rooms where time can't move?'' Tycho asked.
+
+She smiled, nodding her head in assent. ``Move is the wrong word, but skew is locked in unison for all of the inhabitants, though that of the room may still diverge from common time. Your rest area will not be a unison room, but if this proves uncomfortable, we will accommodate you. Through here, you will find your beds and desks. Should you need anything in addition, please ring the bell by the door, and someone will be by to assist. I will come for you in one hour common time for the formal greeting.''
+
+They bowed once again and each walked to a bed, picking at random. They seemed comfortable enough. The desks, while plain, were a touch that Codrin appreciated, and ey set eir notebook and pen down so that ey could prowl around the room.
+
+The far wall held window seats that looked out over a garden of strange, colorful vegetation.
+
+As ey sat on one of these, playing with eir new-found ability to modulate time, Tycho approached. Ey enjoyed a secret moment of amusement, making the astronomer walk first slowly, now quickly, before settling back into common time once more.
+
+``Codrin,'' he said, sitting down beside em. ``I want to get your opinion on something before I say anything stupid.''
+
+``I am no stranger to saying stupid things, but I will do my best.''
+
+The astronomer's smile was weak as he leaned in closer, whispering, ``Just between us for now, promise?''
+
+Ey frowned, nodded. ``Can you move to fast time? Same as hopping sims or creating things: have the intention of being at a time skew of +2.''
+
+Tycho blinked, looked nonplussed for a moment, then seemed to Codrin to start breathing incredibly rapidly. Ey followed him into fast time.
+
+``This is\ldots strange. Very strange,'' he said, looking around, back over to where Sarah appeared frozen in the act of sitting on the edge of her bed.
+
+``It really is. Still, this will give you enough privacy to speak freely, I believe.''
+
+He looked back toward the door, worry painted on his face, and nodded. ``I'm not totally sure how I know, but I don't think that was Why Ask Questions. That was Answers Will Not Help.''

neviim/content/remote/codrin/003.tex

@@ -0,0 +1,101 @@
+\hypertarget{codrin-bux103lanartemis-2346}{%
+\chapter{Codrin Bălan\#Artemis — 2346}}
+\markboth{Codrin Bălan\#Artemis — 2346}{}
+
+\begin{quote}
+\emph{Convergence T-minus 2 days, 20 hours, 37 minutes}
+\end{quote}
+
+\noindent Codrin\#Artemis,
+
+I am finding myself overwhelmed by the strangeness of the goings on during this whole venture. I know that you have it worse, given the fact that you are having to deal with meeting four alien races as well as experiencing an entirely new system, complete with an entirely new take on reality.
+
+Still, this remains strange for me. I'm curious to hear what sort of information you are getting from the social and political side of the talks, as I think it will help me form a more coherent picture of the Artemisians so that I may ask better questions when I'm so very, very out of my league, here on the science side. I asked True Name about this, and she just shrugged and said, ``So long as you do not forget what we are here for in the DMZ, I see no reason to prevent knowledge sharing.''
+
+First, here is what we are finding, seen through the eyes of the scientifically inept:
+
+\begin{itemize}
+\tightlist
+\item
+  Iska is quite upset about the lack of ``time skew'', as they call it, and has stated that they refuse the single fork they're permitted in their rest area. They have not elaborated on this, but I find it interesting that skew, this scientific feat that they have accomplished, is so thoroughly ingrained in their society (secondrace has been on Artemis for nigh on four millennia by now) that dissolution seems alien or even abhorrent to them. I know that forking is integral to our society, but it does make me wonder if it has reached that point yet. Dear would be furious without it, of course, but would that sentiment be universal after only 231 years? Are you missing it? Are the Odists?
+\item
+  Stolon and Tycho are so happy to have met each other that both parties have had to shush them on several occasions. I would prefer to let them have at it, but I do also understand the desire to talk about sciences \emph{other} than astronomy and spaceflight. Why Ask Questions is our biologist and linguist here, and she has been the other primary participant, speaking mostly with Iska and Turun Ka.
+\item
+  Artante and Sarah are almost as perfectly aligned as Tycho and Stolon; they are both psychologists, though it sounds like the Artemisians' approach to such bears some striking differences. Notably, there are some time-related disorders that have largely gone over my head (something about ``lacking a feel for common time'' and ``unison rooms''? Perhaps you can enlighten me), and there are some approaches that Sarah has found interesting, including forms of proactive therapy using, you guessed it, time. Something about practicing through skew, making time to take time.
+\item
+  It is almost impossible to get a read on the firstracers. It's not just that they do not have facial expressions, so much as their penchant for absolute stillness unless a gesture is required (I've begun cataloguing these: uplifted head = nod; head tilt = shrug; chin tilted far down, exposed neck = bow; turning head far to the side = frustration, maybe?). This has led to some frustration, primarily on True Name's part. Ioan's mentioned in the past that May Then My Name calls the root of her skill a sort of `registering', as though she's gotten very good at figuring out what her `target' needs in order to be convinced. Sounds like she's struggling to use that to her full abilities, here.
+\item
+  Turun Ko and I have been getting on quite well. I asked it about its speaking style (which, in case the same is not true over there, includes lots of synonyms strung together throughout its speech). At first, I thought this was a way to find a more exact wording for a concept, but the more I listened, the less I thought that was the case. Why Ask Questions suggested that it might be trying to fit the ambiguities of their \emph{lingua franca} to ours. When asked, though, it said that it was a deliberate effort on its part to remain in the mindset of an Artemisian (they've adopted that word quite readily) in order to better record from an Artemisian point of view. I don't think we'll be struggling with this much, as we haven't learned their language well enough to think like them. It says that it will complete the learning process after the convergence ``depending-relying on outcomes'', on which it would not elaborate.
+\item
+  I've read that it was speculated that most cases involving contact from an extraterrestrial species would take part on the visiting culture's terms, given that anyone who has made it far enough in their social and technological development to reach us will be beyond what we have accomplished, so at least we've confirmed that.
+\item
+  On that note, everyone seems to have learned our common tongue quite well \emph{except} Stolon. Don't tell Tycho, but I think the similarities between them run quite deep. Neither of them seem particularly interested in language except inasmuch as it allows them to better talk about astronomy.
+\item
+  What do you think, are we just dreaming this all up?
+\end{itemize}
+
+\pagebreak Now, for my questions:
+
+\begin{itemize}
+\tightlist
+\item
+  Given Dear's reaction, how are TN/WAQ taking to this ``time skew''? Not well, I imagine. Dear sounded worried for us (which I suppose is its job); are you or any of the other emissaries in danger? TN says she has received a message from her counterpart already, but gave no indication as to its content.
+\item
+  Tycho is in his element here, but Iska seems relatively out of theirs. I imagine Iska is doing better on their home turf, but is Stolon put out by the relative paucity of scientific conversation, as Tycho said he would be?
+\item
+  How are you all taking to time skew? I'd like to know more specifics of the mechanics and social implications so that I can understand Iska's reticence better.
+\item
+  The Artemisians ask for regular breaks, where they always retreat back to their rest area. Probably five minutes every half hour. When asked, Turun Ko said, ``Consensus synchronization, planning-strategizing responses,'' by which I infer that they are used to being able to step aside for conversations to ensure they are all on the same page. Does that hold true there? TN is currently instructing them on the use of cones of silence to see if that helps.
+\item
+  How are you liking it? Other than the inability to fork, I'm taken by the relatively prosaic nature of the talks, incomprehensibility aside. Do you like it there?
+\end{itemize}
+
+Codrin\#Assist, pass on my love back home.
+
+— Codrin\#Castor
+
+\begin{center}\rule{0.5\linewidth}{0.5pt}\end{center}
+
+\noindent Codrin\#Castor
+
+When I first got your note, I was worried that I'd not have time to squeeze in a response, until I remembered the tools at my disposal. This keeps happening over here. I'll find myself feeling rushed to complete something, then remember ``oh, wait, I'll just move to fast-time, and then I can do whatever I want.'' I even got some writing done during our rests. As such, you'll probably get this seconds after you sent your letter, modulo transmission time.
+
+Talks are going somewhat slower here than I think anyone expected. The Artemisians are incredibly patient with all of us, though, for which we're grateful.
+
+The reasons for this are almost entirely up to the Odists. True Name and Why Ask Questions are both struggling with the time skew, WAQ more so than TN. Michelle quit forty years ago, and since then, I've not seen the shifting of form that she struggled with.
+
+WAQ, however, immediately fell back into that. She's hardly spoken at all, and looks to be continually on the verge of getting sick or losing control completely. She seems to be able to either speak \emph{or} maintain her form but not both, and even then, it comes at a dear price. When outside unison rooms (see below), she has a very hard time remaining in common time. Often, the best she can manage is to stay within ±1 of it.
+
+TN is also struggling, though to a lesser extent. She is striving to remain as in control as she can, but there will still be the occasional silence as she is overcome, as was Michelle. During these, she will clench her fists or grit her teeth, and there will be the occasional glimmer of Michelle in there. As such, this has put a damper on our discussion, though, to Dear's worries, no, we don't seem to be in any danger.
+
+To that end, we've moved the talks to a unison room. These rooms ensure that everyone within them remains synchronized to the same time skew, though the room itself can skew faster or slower than common time (which, I'm assured, is the same as ours, based on similar constants; managing time skew feels much like most System interactions such as forking or traveling, and common time feels like a pin in a lock clicking into place as you skew faster or slower). To that end, the unison room (or wing, perhaps) has become TN/WAQ's rest area while the other three of us have our original room. I don't know what to call it. Phasic room? They haven't been able to provide an answer because it's just ``the rest of the world'' to them.
+
+As you mention, Iska is somewhat out of their element because of this. They're a skew artist, analogous to Dear's instance artistry. They seem uncomfortable in a unison room, though they remain very polite about it.
+
+To your question about breaks, you're right that they are used to stepping away to talk about something before providing an answer. Before our shift to the unison room, they would readily shift up to fast time to discuss topics. After about a relative skew of ±1 (moving twice as fast/slow as common time), sound does not transmit to others, so it acts as a cone of silence, in that sense. Tangentially, I've found that touch also does not transmit well after skew ±0.5, probably to prevent injuries.
+
+Tycho and Stolon are, as you suspected, quite frustrated with the lack of scientific discussion going on. Several times during breaks, they've shifted to fast time to get as much chatting in as they can. Tycho honestly seems quite fascinated by Stolon, and I suspect he's found a kindred spirit, though he has expressed some frustration about their lack of mastery over our common tongue. He said that they're both studying during their breaks in order to better converse.
+
+All in all, though, I quite like it here. It is very different, and I find myself missing my family (and the food!) quite a bit, but honestly? I am also finding that I truly enjoy time skew. Codrin\#Assist, don't tell Dear this.
+
+In terms of knowledge share, you're spot on in much of what you bring up. The firstracers are hard to read, as you say, though you can add `rocking head side to side = amusement' to your list. You don't mention much about Iska, but they're really quite nice after one gets past the clipped nature of their speech. I like them plenty.
+
+Artante is curious. Her mannerisms are incredibly familiar, which I originally chalked up to the similarity in species, but it's come to light during discussions that she has picked up an obsession with the media that was embedded in the Dreamer Module broadcast. She's watched all of the videos several times over (more than seventy hours worth!) and listened to all of the audio enough to know how things sound (Iska's speech is clipped, I've mentioned, and occasionally misses intonation around questions/commas \emph{qua} pauses/etc., and the firstracers' melodious speech often sounds more like singing than speaking). She and Sarah have had much to talk about, though both leaders nudge them often back to sociology and psychology as it relates to political systems, rather than therapeutic applications of forking or whatever. We'll have to ask them how she got that video within a system after this is over. 230+ years and you'd think they would've figured that out on our end by now. Ah well, engineers and their priorities.
+
+TN here struggles with the 1racers lack of expression, though I had been chalking much of that up to her struggles with skew until you mentioned it. There have been a few misses in the conversation, where the two leaders will wind down a conversational blind alley and have to back up to the point where they turned the wrong corner. So patient is Turun Ka that this has been all the more frustrating for us, as it's difficult to tear down the assumptions that we've built up in the interim. Now that I say that, though, perhaps it is also frustrating for it, too, we just can't tell.
+
+Are we dreaming it? With how dreadfully immediate everything has felt, if we are, it is closer to a nightmare than a dream. Given what is happening with the Odists, I'll stick with TN's original assessment: the chance isn't zero, but it is small.
+
+Anyway, I should head back to common time and catch up with Sarah before we head back to it. I want to make sure we talk more about the reasons why they picked `recorder' as a required\pagebreak~profession for this meeting. If it's about telling stories, I'm all for it.
+
+\begin{center}
+\textbf{BĂLAN CLADE-EYES-ONLY MATERIAL}
+\end{center}
+
+\indent Codrin\#Assist, pass on my love. Can you also check my work with Dear? I think I remember that Why Ask Questions Here At The End Of All Things was initially forked to shape sentiment sys-side during Secession, and that Why Ask Questions When The Answers Will Not Help was forked to shape sentiment outside the System. Is this correct? I've only met the two of them recently, so I'm unsure how that plays out in their social interactions.
+
+\begin{center}
+\textbf{END BĂLAN CLADE-EYES-ONLY MATERIAL}
+\end{center}
+
+Thanks for acting as go-between for us. It'd be nice to be able to send a message directly to \#Castor, but alas, DMZ.

neviim/content/remote/codrin/004.tex

@@ -0,0 +1,233 @@
+\hypertarget{codrin-bux103lanartemis-2346}{%
+\chapter{Codrin Bălan\#Artemis — 2346}}
+\markboth{Codrin Bălan\#Artemis — 2346}{}
+
+\begin{center}
+\emph{Convergence T-minus 1 day, 4 hours, 7 minutes}
+\end{center}
+
+\noindent The Artemisians had continued to fine-tune the new setup of the meeting space for the emissaries, so that the Odists' beds were no longer in the same room as their half of the table. Now, there was a small, stone-paved unison room for their half of the table, at the back of which sat a low bench for sitting and talking, as well as a pitcher and glasses of water. To the side of that, a short hallway led to the two unison bedrooms.
+
+That True Name and Answers Will Not Help had requested separate bedrooms had felt notable to Codrin, though ey could not put eir finger on why. Perhaps one or both of them were having a hard enough time even while sleeping that it was keeping the other awake? Answers Will Not Help certainly looked as though she'd not slept since arriving.
+
+Both Odists had taken to spending any break longer than five minutes laying down, and ey'd taken it as eir task to ensure that they were up and moving a minute or so before the meeting resumed.
+
+One upside of this, however, was that it gave em as much latitude as ey wanted to talk with Tycho and Sarah without feeling like ey was leaving True Name and Answers Will Not Help behind.
+
+Or, ey realized, like ey needed to hide anything from them.
+
+``So. Day three.''
+
+Tycho groaned. ``Yeah, though I feel like we've been here for at least a week by now.''
+
+``Might as well have been. The room is pinned at +0.2, so we're already given far more time than we might have on an ordinary day.''
+
+``At least it's easy to take a long, lazy break,'' Sarah said. ``But yes. Day three, I guess. What are your thoughts, Codrin?''
+
+Ey leaned back against the column outside the unison room, arms crossed, and looked up at the clear sky above the open courtyard. The blue was more intense than ey remembered from Earth or any of the sims ey'd been in. Ey always felt as though ey was falling up into it, whenever ey stared up like this.
+
+``I'm tired,'' ey said at last. ``Some of that's from just how long it feels like we've been running, and how I feel like I need to be \emph{on} for all of that time, but part of it is our other emissaries.''
+
+``Oh?''
+
+``Them being so\ldots is unwell the right word?''
+
+Sarah nodded, ``Maybe, yes. Unwell. Struggling?''
+
+``Right, yeah. Them struggling so much means that I have to be an active part of the discussions as well as focused on them. There's nothing I can do to help them, but I still feel like I need to be attuned to everyone around me.''
+
+``Is that part of your amanuensis duties?'' Tycho asked.
+
+Ey frowned, silent, as ey thought. ``Perhaps. It is part of what's going on here, isn't it?''
+
+``It is,'' Sarah said. ``But you don't need to be a complete sponge, soaking everything up.''
+
+``I don't know that I can just turn that off.''
+
+``And that's okay. It's less about turning it off than mitigating it. Find the times where you can turn down your engagement and use those where you can. Find the things that don't require your full attention and let them go, even if only for a few seconds.''
+
+Ey smiled, feeling the tiredness in eir cheeks. ``You were a therapist, weren't you? Maybe I should steal some of your time after this is all over.''
+
+``Gladly,'' she said, nodding. ``I've been thinking about restarting my practice, anyhow. It's been too long of just lounging around on the System.''
+
+``Certainly got a pile of work for yourself now,'' Tycho said. ``What are your thoughts, while we're on the subject?''
+
+``This is going to sound weird,'' she said after a moment's thought. ``But it's way more normal than I expected. It's a strange situation, to be sure, but it's still just a meeting between people who are trying to figure each other out. They're alien, but not so far as to be completely unintelligible. It's almost prosaic.''
+
+``Think it's going well?'' Codrin asked.
+
+``As well as it can be, all things considered. We've not wound up in any thorny patches or anything.''
+
+Tycho nodded. ``Agreed, though I have to admit that I'm getting kind of bored. Codrin told me I should steal some time with Stolon, and I've been doing that whenever I can, but the rest is just\ldots boring. I want to be able to engage, but it's just all over my head, and when I do start feeling like I'm getting a hold on it, Turun Ka or True Name will nudge us back `on topic'.''
+
+```On topic' meaning history and politics and the like?''
+
+He nodded. ``I knew that going into this that \#Castor would be having much more fun than I would.''
+
+``Well, let's see if we can find you something to focus on,'' Sarah said.
+
+He tilted his head, frowning. ``How, though? I can't exactly ask us to just start talking about the science side.''
+
+``Well, no, but you can keep an eye on data. Maybe look out for dates and the like and start using that with what we \emph{do} know of the science behind everything. Start thinking about where they might have been coming from before the\ldots uh, gravity assist? Is that it?''
+
+His frown deepened, but he nodded.
+
+``Start thinking about what's in that direction and how long it might have taken them to get here.''
+
+``You can probably keep track of the math involved with the time scale better than any of us, too,'' Codrin added. ``So you can see where there might have been inflection points in history and if that might've had to do with any of their travel. If there were big societal changes, then maybe--''
+
+Tycho held up his hand, and Codrin watched as his eyes lost focus, staring into nothing for a long few seconds, breathing rapidly in some faster time.
+
+Ey looked to Sarah, who shrugged.
+
+``Sorry, skewed faster,'' he mumbled. ``You just reminded me of something, is all. There's a lot beneath the plane of the ecliptic relative to us, but only a little bit of it is close for them to have plausibly passed by it. A few of those systems are kind of interesting.''
+
+``Interesting?'' ey asked.
+
+``Like, stuff we've been keeping an eye on for possibly having life, that sort of thing.''
+
+``Maybe Artante's system?''
+
+He shook his head. ``Closer than that, I think.''
+
+Codrin stood up straight again, tugging eir blouse straight. ``Are you saying you think they might've stopped by somewhere else?''
+
+``It's a very big `might','' he said. ``They could just have been using the stars for slingshots, after all.''
+
+``But it's a possibility.''
+
+He nodded.
+
+Sarah shook her head. ``To make sure I'm following, you think they may have suspected there was life elsewhere? Do you think they might have run across other possible societies and not had them join them as a race?''
+
+``Right. Could be they just hadn't started uploading.'' He hesitated, then added, ``Or that they had, but didn't want to join or didn't make the cut.''
+
+Codrin rubbed eir hands over eir face, willing away the tiredness that kept threatening to come back. Like Tycho, every time ey felt like ey was getting a hold on the situation ey was stuck in, some other bit of info would be brought to light and eir grasp would slip once more.
+
+Now here this was. Perhaps the Artemisians had run across more than just races two through four on their journey. Perhaps there had been failed convergences, not counted among the existing three and the fourth they were living through.
+
+Tycho's comment about `not making the cut' carried with it additional implications, as well. It implied that there was a barrier to entry that one had to pass. This, in turn, implied that there were a set of requirements for getting to join as a race. Unspoken ones.
+
+There may very well be specific steps they had to take that had never been provided to them. Hadn't ey picked up a sense of that from the letter so long ago? `You have asked the correct question'?
+
+When ey shook away the rumination, ey found both Tycho and Sarah staring at em. ``Sorry if I was mumbling. Tycho, hold off on actually asking about this for now, but keep thinking about it, alright? At least let me run it past True Name first.''
+
+The astronomer nodded.
+
+``On that note, we should probably start getting ready again,'' Sarah said.
+
+They broke after that, Tycho walking another lap around the courtyard and Sarah making for the pitcher of water, while Codrin went to rouse the Odists.
+
+Ey fetched True Name first. The skunk was already awake—or perhaps had never managed to fall asleep for the nap she always talked about—and sitting up blearily in bed.
+
+``Good afternoon, Mx.~Bălan.''
+
+``Morning,'' ey corrected gently. ``Next break will be lunch. Manage to get any sleep?''
+
+She shook her head. ``I am guessing that it is time to head back?''
+
+Ey nodded. ``I have a question about a topic Tycho brought up, first, if that's alright. If you need to wake up a bit more first, that's fine. I can ask later, but I'd at least like it on the docket.''
+
+``I do not know that I will be feeling any better later,'' she said, attempting a smile. ``Ask me now, and if I am unable to answer, ask me again at lunch.''
+
+``Alright.'' Ey sat on the chair next to True Name's bed. ``Sarah and I suggested that Tycho start making educated guesses about their route and if that might be reflected in historical inflection points.''
+
+The skunk frowned, but nodded for em to continue.
+
+``He mentioned that there might have been some planets on their path that were inhabited but not welcomed as one of the races.''
+
+``Ones with life? Ones with uploads?''
+
+Ey shrugged. ``Perhaps, yes. In particular, he said that if the race had uploaded, maybe they wouldn't want to join, or wouldn't have, in his words, `made the cut'.''
+
+The skunk stared down at her paws in her lap, the claws on her thumbs tapping gently together. ``That is a good observation from our friend. What question do you have for me about it?''
+
+``Should we ask more directly about it? I told him not to until I'd talked with you.''
+
+``Thank you. Yes, he should hold off for now. It may be best to ask about the sentiments within the society during those inflection points first. Coming at it sideways like that will allow us to phrase the question about other convergences more effectively.''
+
+Ey nodded. ``If there was strife, it may not have been a good convergence, you mean.''
+
+``Precisely.'' The skunk wobbled to her feet, accepting Codrin's offer of a hand to steady herself. ``Come. Let us see how Why Ask Questions is doing. Better, I hope.''
+
+``Given the differences between our systems, the focus on time skew versus forking, I'd like to see what some of the political and sociological differences there are that resulted from that,'' Codrin said, once the meeting began again.
+
+Both Iska and True Name sat up straighter.
+
+``This is broad-large-all-encompassing topic, recorder Codrin Bălan.'' Turun Ko angled its head down and to the side, a move that appeared either confused or perhaps condescending. ``Please restrict-refine.''
+
+``Well, okay.'' Ey tapped the end of eir pen against eir lower lip, considering. ``Perhaps we can begin with how common working with skew is among everyday individuals. We have our concept of dissolution strategies, based on how one approaches forking, after all.''
+
+There was a blurred conference between the Artemisians, then Iska said, ``There is a spectrum of approaches to skew. Some rarely utilize it, some utilize only fast-time to complete tasks or slow-time to pass long stretches of time out of boredom or to wait for a specific event. Some, such as myself, utilize skew for enjoyment.''
+
+``These map loosely to your concept of taskers, trackers, and dispersionistas,'' Artante added. ``We noticed similar during the third convergence, though the concept remained only within fourthrace, and died out within a century of the convergence. I was reminded of the topic by one of your early letters.''
+
+``I remember you mentioned that fourthrace had forking,'' True Name said, voice tightly controlled. ``Was the transition from that to skew difficult for those members of fourthrace that joined?''
+
+``For some, yes. There was one recorded instance of a member of fourthrace becoming so despondent about the lack of forking that they exited the system.''
+
+True Name and Answers Will Not Help looked at each other, letting the silence that followed speak for itself.
+
+Codrin allowed the moment to pass before continuing. ``Thank you. For what occupations there are—I believe you also described them as `intensive leisure activities'—is there any particular expectation regarding one's approach to skew?''
+
+```Expectation'?'' Turun Ko asked.
+
+``I suppose activities have their own requirements for how one utilizes skew. For instance, representative Iska doubtless relies on it quite heavily. Does knowing one's interest tell you about their skew habits? Is there pressure for one to not take up an activity due to the skew habits one has already formed?''
+
+Iska was practically purring at this turn in the conversation. ``Had one of us asked that question, I would have said `no', but hearing it from you has made me think about it in a new way. I would have said that one simply would not think to take up that activity, but now that you say such, I think that this is the case. I am uncomfortable with not utilizing skew, yes, but for activities that are pinned to common time such as preparing food and performing music, there is an expectation that I would not be a good chef or musician, yes. Were I to pick up an interest in cooking, I would be looked on with a small amount of concern. One would say about me: `I hope that they do not burn the food by shifting to slow-time' or `I expect that their food will be very rushed'.''
+
+Codrin grinned as ey took down notes of the answer. ``One of my romantic partners, as an instance artist, has stated that it can't understand what a life without profligate forking would look like, but has never said that it feels as though it is not able to take part in another profession. That said, there are several interests or professions that one would not expect taskers or even trackers to go into. Many would sneer at a tasker trying to go into instance artistry. Does the same apply here? Are there more interests or professions that are out of reach for those who do not use skew than for those who use skew often?''
+
+Another, longer blurred conference followed this question, during which True Name gave em a tired smile. ``Excellent questions, Mx.~Bălan.''
+
+``We have decided that there has not been much thought put into this topic, but that our instinct would be to say yes, the interests which belong to those heavy users of skew are more specific and thus more likely to carry some level of prestige that might be out of reach for those who prefer to remain in common time.''
+
+Sarah sat forward, leaning on her elbows on the table. ``Can you expand on `prestige', here? Are there interests that are considered less prestigious? Do some interests reflect poorly on the individual?''
+
+``Please confirm: do you mean social-stratification-caste?'' Turun Ko said, and both Codrin and True Name rushed to write a note.
+
+``I'd also like to know about that, yes, but let's come back to that later. In this instance, I was wondering there are interests that are seen as distasteful or silly.''
+
+``We have decided that there are not any that are seen as distasteful,'' Turun Ka said after another conferral with its delegates. ``But there are many that are seen as frivolous. Some view contemplative or spiritual life as frivolous, particularly among secondrace, which is very old.''
+
+Codrin frowned, making a note to ask about that later. They had the concept of spirituality, and even the concept of a life lived in contemplation. It raised several other questions besides, such as why it was that the second oldest race bore the brunt of that assumption, and why it had been implied that firstrace was immune. Were religions shared between the races? Were religions time-bound? In eir 128 years of life, time had run out on countless end-of-the-world predictions.
+
+Ey shook the rumination from eir eyes in time to hear True Name asking, ``What is the population's view of the Council of Eight?''
+
+Turun Ka rocked its head from side to side. Amusement, Codrin\#Castor had written. ``We are seen as almost vestigial except during convergences. What guidance we provide we do so through advisory not--''
+
+It was interrupted by a bang as Answers Will Not Help, who had been nearly in a stupor up until this point, slammed her fists down on the table. ``I must keep no veil between me and my words. I must set no stones between me and my actions!''
+
+There was a tense moment of silence.
+
+``Apologies,'' she said, rubbing her hands over her face and then yelping as a wave of skunk washed beneath them. ``I cannot stop myself from speaking.''
+
+Artante nodded slowly. ``Would you like to take a brief break, representative Why Ask Questions?''
+
+``I\ldots yes.''
+
+``We shall reconvene in five minutes common time,'' Turun Ka said. ``We wish you the best, representative Why Ask Questions.''
+
+Sarah helped her to her feet and walked her down the hall to her room.
+
+True Name slouched down in her seat with a wave of Michelle rolling across her form.
+
+``Are you alright?'' ey asked, patting her paw/hand.
+
+She jolted away with a quiet grunt, pulling her hand back as though burned. She rolled her head to the side against the back of the chair looking steadily at em. ``I will be okay, Mx.~Bălan. Thank you for your concern. Please refrain from touching me when my form is shifting, though. It is quite uncomfortable.''
+
+``Apologies.'' Ey bowed her head. Something about the skunk's voice brooked no further questioning.
+
+``You asked some very good questions today. I am quite happy that you decided to come along.''
+
+``It's an honor.''
+
+She rolled her head back once more to stare up at the ceiling. ``Have you heard further from your counterpart back on Castor?''
+
+``Ey mentioned that the common tongue is remarkably well-preserved for being on the system for four thousand years, and suggested that there might be political implications behind that.''
+
+``Right, yes,'' True Name said, closing her eyes. ``Should Why Ask Questions start feeling better, perhaps we can have that discussion more in depth, but I will ask either way. Anything else?''
+
+Codrin\#Castor had clearly picked up on eir hint, and had hinted in return. There would be much to think about and ey had a return letter planned, as well as a discussion with the other three delegates. It had been a good guess on \#Castor's part that Tycho had been the one to spot the subterfuge.
+
+``No,'' ey said. ``They wish us well.''

neviim/content/remote/codrin/005.tex

@@ -0,0 +1,85 @@
+\hypertarget{codrin-bux103lanemissary-2346}{%
+\chapter{Codrin Bălan\#Emissary — 2346}}
+\markboth{Codrin Bălan\#Emissary — 2346}{}
+
+\noindent ``Given the differences between our systems, the focus on time skew versus forking, I'd like to see what some of the political and sociological differences there are that result from that,'' Codrin said, starting a new page of notes.
+
+Both Iska and True Name sat up straighter.
+
+``This is broad-large-all-encompassing topic, recorder Codrin Bălan.'' Turun Ko angled its head down and to the side, a move that appeared either confused or perhaps condescending. ``Please restrict-refine.''
+
+``Well, okay.'' Ey tapped the end of eir pen against eir lower lip, considering. ``Perhaps we can begin with how common working with skew is among everyday individuals. We have our concept of dissolution strategies, based on how one approaches forking, after all.''
+
+There was a blurred conference between the Artemisians, then Iska said, ``There is a spectrum of approaches to skew. Some rarely utilize it, some utilize only fast-time to complete tasks or slow-time to pass long stretches of time out of boredom or to wait for a specific event. Some, such as myself, utilize skew for fun.''
+
+``These map loosely to your concept of taskers, trackers, and dispersionistas,'' Artante added. ``We noticed similar during the third convergence, though the concept remained only within fourthrace, and died out within a century of the convergence. I was reminded of the topic by one of your early letters.''
+
+``I remember you a mention that fourthrace had forking,'' True Name said, voice tightly controlled. ``Was the transition from that to skew difficult for those members of fourthrace that joined?''
+
+``For some, yes. There was one recorded instant of a member of fourthrace becoming so despondent about the lack of forking that they exited the system.''
+
+True Name and Answers Will Not Help looked at each other, letting the silence that followed speak for itself.
+
+Codrin let the moment pass before continuing. ``Thank you. For what occupations there are—I believe you also described them as `intensive leisure activities'—is there any particular expectation regarding one's approach to skew?''
+
+``Expectation?'' Turun Ko asked.
+
+``I suppose activities have their own requirements for how one utilizes skew. For instance, representative Iska doubtless relies on it quite heavily. Does knowing one's interest tell you about their skew habits? Is there pressure for one to not take up an activity due to the skew habits one has already formed?''
+
+Iska was practically purring at this turn in the conversation. ``Had one of us asked that question, I would have said `no', but hearing it from you has made me think about it in a new way. I would have said that one simply would not think to take up that activity, but now that you say such, I think that this is the case. I am uncomfortable with not utilizing skew, yes, but for activities that are pinned to common time such as cooking and storytelling, there is an expectation that I would not be a good cook or storyteller, yes. Were I to pick up an interest in cooking, I would be looked on with a small amount of concern. One would say about me: `I hope that they do not burn the food by shifting to slow-time' or `I expect that their food will be very rushed'.''
+
+Codrin grinned as ey took down notes of the answer. ``One of my romantic partners, as an instance artist, has stated that it can't understand what a life without profligate forking would look like, but has never said that it feels as though it is not able to take part in another profession. That said, there are several interests or professions that one would not expect taskers or even trackers to go into. Many would sneer at a tasker trying to go into instance artistry. Does the same apply here? Are there more interests or profession that are out of reach for those who do not use skew than for those who use skew often?''
+
+Another, longer blurred conference followed this question, during which True Name gave em a tired smile. ``Excellent questions, Mx.~Bălan.''
+
+``We have decided that there has not been much thought put into this topic, but that our instinct would be to say yes, the interests which belong to those heavy users of skew are more specific and thus more likely to carry some level of prestige that might be out of reach for those who remain in common time.''
+
+Sarah sat forward, leaning on her elbows on the table. ``Can you expand on `prestige', here? Are there interests that are considered less prestigious? Do some interests reflect poorly on the individual?''
+
+``Please confirm: do you mean social-stratification-caste?'' Turun Ko said, and both Codrin and True Name rushed to write a note.
+
+``I'd also like to know about that, yeah, so let's come back to that later. In this instance, I was wondering there are interests that are seen as distasteful or silly.''
+
+``We have decided that there are not any that are seen as distasteful,'' Turun Ka said after another conferral with its delegates. ``But there are many that are seen as frivolous. Some view contemplative or spiritual life as frivolous, particularly among secondrace, which is very old.''
+
+Codrin frowned, making a note to ask about that later. They had the concept of spirituality, and even the concept of a life lived in in contemplation. It raised several other questions besides, such as why it was that the second oldest race bore the brunt of that assumption, and why it had been implied that firstrace was immune. Were religions shared between the races? Were religions time-bound? In eir hundred and twenty-eight years of life, the world had yet to end, despite countless predictions.
+
+Ey shook the rumination from eir eyes in time to hear True Name asking, ``What is the view of the Council of Eight?''
+
+Turun Ka rocked its head from side to side. Amusement, Codrin\#Artemis had written. ``We are seen as almost vestigial except during convergences. What guidance we provide we do so through through advisory not--''
+
+It was interrupted by a bang as Answers Will Not Help, who had been nearly in a stupor up until this point, slammed her fists down on the table. ``I must keep no veil between me and my words. I must set no stones between me and my actions.''
+
+There was a tense moment of silence.
+
+``Apologies,'' she said, rubbing her hands over her face and then yelping as a wave of skunk washed beneath them. ``I cannot stop myself from speaking.''
+
+Artante nodded slowly. ``Would you like to take a break, representative Why Ask Questions?''
+
+``I\ldots yes.''
+
+``We shall reconvene in five minutes common time,'' Turun Ka said. ``We wish you the best, representative Why Ask Questions.''
+
+Sarah helped her to her feet and walked her down the hall to her room.
+
+True Name slouched down in her seat with a wave of Michelle rolling across her form.
+
+``Are you alright?'' ey asked, patting her hand.
+
+She jolted to the side with a quiet grunt, pulling her hand back as though burned. She rolled her head to the side against the back of the chair looking steadily at em. ``I will be okay, Mx.~Bălan. Thank you for your concern. Please refrain from touching me when my form is shifting, though. It is quite uncomfortable.''
+
+``Apologies.'' Ey bowed her head. Something about the skunk's voice brooked no further questioning.
+
+``You asked some very good questions today. I am quite happy that you decided to come along.''
+
+``It's an honor.''
+
+She rolled her head back once more to stare up at the ceiling. ``Have you heard further from your counterpart back on the LV?''
+
+``Ey mentioned that the common tongue is remarkably well-preserved for being on the system for four thousand years, and suggested that there might be political implications behind that.''
+
+``Right, yes,'' True Name said, closing her eyes. ``Should Why Ask Questions start feeling better, perhaps we can have that discussion more in depth, but I will ask either way. Anything else?''
+
+Codrin\#Artemis had clearly picked up on eir hint, and had hinted in return. There would be much to think about, and ey had a return letter planned, as well as a discussion with the other three delegates. It had been a good guess on \#Artemis's part that Tycho had been the one to spot the subterfuge.
+
+``No,'' ey said. ``They wish us well.''

neviim/content/remote/codrin/006.tex

@@ -0,0 +1,133 @@
+\hypertarget{codrin-bux103lanartemis-2346}{%
+\chapter{Codrin Bălan\#Artemis — 2346}}
+\markboth{Codrin Bălan\#Artemis — 2346}{}
+
+\begin{center}
+\emph{Convergence T-minus 1 day, 2 hours, 32 minutes}
+\end{center}
+
+\noindent The next note that came from Castor included a block of indecipherable text that was marked as clade-eyes-only for Turun Ka.
+
+Codrin puzzled over this during a private minute in fast time.
+
+Normally, clade-eyes-only or individual-eyes-only text for someone other than the recipient appeared as that header of, for instance, \emph{Bălan Clade-Eyes-Only Material} followed by an indication that such text might be there, but nothing about its contents, including its length or composition. For em, this usually appeared as an ellipsis in square brackets, long-standing traditions of elision being what they were.
+
+This, however, appeared to be text of the type ey'd grown used to in encrypted blocks. Letters, numbers, punctuation, all crammed into a single unbroken chunk. More, some of the characters appeared to be restless. They strained at their form, as though they desperately wanted to be something else, and when ey looked away and back, they were indeed that other form, and some other character nearby would be itching to change, instead.
+
+Clearly, one of the delegates from Castor had instructed the Artemisians on not just how to send text back to Artemis, but how to do so in a private way. Artemis itself, however, couldn't figure out how to represent that. Perhaps that's what clade-eyes-only text might actually be in the perisystem architecture.
+
+Ey recreated the note on a few fresh sheets of paper, eir own message on one and Turun Ka's on another, and headed back to the meeting.
+
+``Leader Turun Ka,'' ey said, once they were gathered together once more. ``I have received a message from your counterpart back on Castor. It is encrypted for your eyes only, though I'm not sure how well that functionality transfers between systems.''
+
+The firstracer's head remained still, leaving no clues as to its opinion of this matter, and it gracefully accepted the note that Codrin passed over. It didn't hold it up to see or bow its head to look down at it, so ey figured that as soon as it changed hands, it must have changed its form. Paper, after all, was only a symbol. Letters, words, and written language only signs.
+
+``Thank you, recorder Codrin Bălan. The information is intact.''
+
+As ey expected, this was followed up by a blurred meeting of the Artemisian delegates in fast time.
+
+Ey spent the time sneaking glances at True Name and Answers Will Not Help, catching Tycho and Sarah doing the same.
+
+True Name, despite maintaining careful control of her expression, still appeared to be beyond tired. The flickers of her human form came more regularly, now, and, while her appearance as a skunk remained polite, attentive, and receptive, that human face showed only exhaustion.
+
+Answers Will Not Help, however, was a mess.
+
+Her form rippled between species, and with it, so too did her expression. She would veer wildly between barely constrained laughter and agony, all while tears coursed down her cheeks or left tracks in fur. She managed to keep quiet for the most part, though occasionally a snippet of poetry would escape her: here a line of the Ode, there a bit of Dickinson. She had even startled Tycho at one point by quoting something ey didn't quite recognize: ``I have sown, like Tycho Brahe, that a greater man may reap\ldots{}''
+
+This wild dissociation from the world around her was made all the more unnerving by the fact that ey could tell that she was having a difficult time staying within common time.
+
+She never veered far from it, only within a range of 0.5 to either side, but even that carried with it a sense of wrongness. They were in a unison room, something that she had specifically requested, which ey'd been told meant that she specifically \emph{shouldn't} be able to do that. Skew simply wasn't available to em when ey reached for it.
+
+Iska had hardly taken their eyes off her since they'd noticed as well, as though they were trying to puzzle out just how it was that this was happening.
+
+They were only two and a half days into the conference and, while both sides had learned much about the other, ey wondered if they'd even be able to make it to a week.
+
+\emph{Or even the end of today,} ey thought. \emph{Answers Will Not Help looks like she's about to explode.}
+
+``Leader True Name,'' Turun Ka began, once the delegates had returned to common time. ``While I am not able to divulge the contents of the note I have received, it has led to a discussion amongst us, and we would like to ask about your history.''
+
+``From the founding of the System?'' she asked, voice tight.
+
+``Apologies, leader True Name. We would like to know about your history. You and your cocladist.''
+
+Her shoulders sagged. ``Would you like information specifically relating to our appearance here on Artemis?''
+
+``This is a good place to begin.''
+
+The skunk looked as though she hadn't the faintest idea of where to begin, as though too many thoughts crowded her mind for her to decide.
+
+Codrin nodded toward her, ``By your leave, True Name?''
+
+``Please, Mx.~Bălan.'' She sounded quite relieved.
+
+``Prior to the founding of the System two hundred thirty-one years ago, long distance communication and interaction took place over a global network. It worked much as it does here, in that there are designated locations—sims, a name which has stuck with us—and we interacted through forms such as these. The origin of our System came about shortly after a brief period of political unrest wherein some political entities released a type of virus into the implanted hardware we used to connect to the 'net. Those who came across too much information relating to this unrest had the virus triggered and were trapped in a vegetative state, locked within their minds.'' Ey paused and looked to True Name, who nodded. Answers Will Not Help just hugged her arms to her front, looking pale as she silently mouthed some litany ey couldn't guess. ``Michelle Hadje, the root instance of the Ode clade, to which True Name and Why Ask Questions belong, was one of these individuals. The lost, they called them. Dear, my partner, is an Odist as well, and mentioned to me beforehand that a malleable sense of time sounded much like what it experienced during that period.''
+
+``You are not normally like this,'' Turun Ka said. A statement rather than a question. ``My counterpart on Castor describes you as solely in the form you primarily occupy here, and Why Ask Questions solely in, \emph{lu}\ldots a human form. You are both described as calm, confident, and politically adroit.''
+
+True Name winced. ``It is uncomfortable for me to be in this state. I am not up to my usual standards.''
+
+``This has led-turned-into a situation of unequality-power-dynamic,'' Turun Ko said, picking up where the leader had left off. ``For this we express-offer concern-well-wishes-condolences.''
+
+``We are unable, at this point in the convergence, to accept other delegates, or we would offer you greater respite than we have already,'' Turun Ka finished.
+
+``Thank you for your concern,'' the skunk said. ``I understand your reasoning, and would not wish to miss these discussions. I have trust in Mx.~Bălan, Dr.~Brahe, and Ms.~Genet, however, to share our load.''
+
+Both Turun Ka and Turun Ko lifted their heads in assent, the leader adding, ``As always, we will strive to make your stay as comfortable as possible.''
+
+True Name nodded her thanks.
+
+At a glance from Artante, the Artemisians slid up to fast time for a brief conversation before returning. ``We of fourthrace experienced similar prior to the creation of our embedding system. This was the result of a war, a virus targeting a nation that led large sections of the population being affected.''
+
+``Were they able to free those who were?''
+
+``Only approximately a quarter. Some three million of my race died from various causes while\ldots lost.''
+
+Codrin blinked, leaning back in eir chair. ``Three \emph{million?} Good Lord\ldots{}''
+
+Artante nodded. ``Of those who returned, all suffered what representative Sarah Genet has called post-traumatic stress disorder. None were affected such as you, leader True Name and representative Why Ask Questions, but many also experienced chronic episodes of psychosis combined with logorrhea, glossolalia, and graphomania, if I am understanding the terms properly.''
+
+Codrin's eyes darted over to Answers Will Not Help—as, ey noticed, did the rest of the emissaries. She averted her gaze, lips still mouthing countless words. Ey hastened to catch up on the notes ey'd been taking to cover for emself.
+
+``Did any of those affected upload? Or\ldots embed?'' True Name asked.
+
+``Of those who did not take their own lives, all--''
+
+``I cannot feel em!'' Answers Will Not Help interrupted, nearly shouting. Tears were streaming down her face, now. ``I cannot\ldots here\ldots b-beside whom\ldots{}''
+
+Something akin to anger or fear tore through True Name's exhaustion and she sat bolt upright, glaring down the row of emissaries to Answers Will Not Help. ``Why Ask Questions, my dear, please do try to remain present,'' she said, voice eerily calm, soothing.
+
+The silence at the table was absolute. All delegates on both sides held still, and Codrin suspected that all of the emissaries from Castor were holding their breath. All had experienced the laser-focused wrath of at least one of the Odists in the weeks leading up to the conference.
+
+Answers Will Not Help hunched her shoulders, cowed. Every ounce of control she had remaining seemed to be dedicated to keeping her crying as quiet as possible.
+
+``Leader True Name,'' Artante asked, voice just as soothing. ``You do not need to answer, but may I ask what just happened?''
+
+``I will not answer, representative Artante Diria,'' she said, voice once more slipping into exhaustion as a wave of human form washed over her features. ``It is a private matter between me and my cocladist. My apologies.''
+
+The fourthracer bowed her head. ``I understand. Would you like to take a break?''
+
+``Perhaps a brief break would be nice,'' Sarah said, nodding. ``We can collect ourselves and move onto a separate aspect of the history of the System.''
+
+True Name nodded.
+
+``Your break-respite need not be brief-short,'' Turun Ko said. ``We are capable-of-able-to-permitted-to skew the unison room to allow for longer rests.''
+
+``No!'' This time, Answers Will Not Help did shout, voice shifting slightly as she slid this way and that away from common time. ``Sorry. No, please do not—motes in the stage-lights—please do not take time from us. No, no no no, please\ldots{}''
+
+Iska's expression had steadily grown more and more alarmed throughout the proceedings. ``I do not--''
+
+``We will reconvene in fifteen minutes common time,'' Turun Ka said. Nothing in its voice changed from how it normally spoke, though it having spoke was enough to quell Iska to silence. ``Representative Artante Diria, representative Iska, please convene to address this issue moving forward from a psychological and technical standpoint. When we return, we will indeed move on to another subject.''
+
+Iska bowed their head in assent.
+
+Answers Will Not Help was sobbing in earnest now, stifling it as best she can with her face hidden behind the notebook she had before her but had yet to touch.
+
+\emph{``I cannot feel em''? Feel who?} Codrin thought, frowning.
+
+Ey leaned forward again to write notes on what had just happened, but before eir pen could touch paper, True Name pulled it slowly but insistently from eir hand.
+
+``Nothing of these happenings is to wind up in writing except that it be sent as a clade-eyes-only letter to the Odists,'' she said, the words softened by a shaky smile. ``I would like to discuss these events with my cocladists, first.''
+
+Ey nodded numbly, accepting eir now-capped pen back.
+
+``Now, I would like to lie down during this break. Please accompany me so that I may dictate this letter.''

neviim/content/remote/codrin/007-illust.tex

@@ -0,0 +1,148 @@
+\hypertarget{codrin-bux103lanartemis-2346}{%
+\chapter{Codrin Bălan\#Artemis — 2346}}
+\markboth{Codrin Bălan\#Artemis — 2346}{}
+
+\begin{center}
+\emph{Convergence T-minus 1 day, 2 hours, 12 minutes}
+\end{center}
+
+\noindent During the short break, Codrin helped True Name compose her letter and, after ey sent it, simply sat with her in quiet. The skunk remained still throughout, sitting on the edge of the bed and staring down at her knees. She looked small, and some part of em wanted to sit beside her and try to comfort her, but for the emotional and social distance between them, as well as her still jittery form.
+
+And so ey simply sat at her desk and watched her manage her breathing, keep her composure, meditate, or whatever it was that an Odist unbound did.
+
+Finally, ey reached out to offer a hand to the skunk to help her stand. ``It's time we start back, True Name.''
+
+She sighed, nodded, and waved eir hand away, standing on her own. ``Thank you, Mx.~Bălan. I appreciate your help.''
+
+Ey nodded, hesitated as ey composed eir question, and then asked, ``I don't wish to overstep my bounds, here, and will accept no as an answer, but can you tell me what exactly it was that Why Ask Questions meant by `I cannot feel em'?''
+
+After a moment swaying, the skunk straightened up and brushed her paws down over her blouse, straightening some imagined crease. ``You ask because of the pronoun?''
+
+Ey nodded.
+
+``I cannot tell you,'' she said. Looking steadily at em, she fixed a kind and competent expression in place. It bore a force to it, as though she was willing em to drop the subject. ``And that I cannot should explain enough.''
+
+Codrin blinked, clutched eir notebook closer to eir chest, and bowed to her. ``Of course, True Name. Shall we fetch Why Ask Questions?''
+
+The other Odist was not to be found in her room. She had apparently remained where she had been sitting before, arms crossed on the edge of the table with her head resting on them. Every time there was a shift in her form, it brought a jolt or an uncomfortable squirm, and yet she did not lift her head, even when True Name knelt down beside her to speak in hushed tones.
+
+The rest of the delegates arrived shortly after, Tycho and Stolon both looking quite happy. There was a moment's shuffling as Tycho, Sarah, and Codrin were shifted down by one so that True Name could remain sitting by her cocladist.
+
+Even so, the meeting was slow to get started. There were a few questions asked by both sides about history, but they all felt very careful, well constructed, and circumspect. It was plagued by silences and subtle glances to where Answers Will Not Help rested her head on the table.
+
+``From the sounds of it,'' Iska said. ``Of the four organic species present, all began their projects of building embedding systems after a traumatic event. It seems to be a common feature of biological systems. The desire to protect oneself or one's species from trauma is a common feature of all life.''
+
+``We ran-existed in simulation space within our physical-corporeal bodies-shells. There was no difference-change from post-biological life-existence and living in embedded form,'' Turun Ko added. ``We are unable to add-explain to the topic of biological trauma. Apologies.''
+
+True Name nodded. ``We understand, recorder Turun Ko.''
+
+``If I may ask,'' Codrin began. ``Was there a period of adjustment for firstrace after--''
+
+``Prophets!''
+
+Silence fell once more around the table. Answers Will Not Help pushed herself to her feet. Waves of skunk and human crashed violently across her form. She was crying harder than before. Her back arched taut and she laughed up toward the ceiling, a choked, gasping sound.
+
+True Name, struggling to hold her own form together, reached out to tug at Answers Will Not Help's sleeve. ``Please, my dear,'' she murmured. ``Representative Why Ask Questions, please sit down. I know it is--''
+
+``I am not her! I am not her. She is another me, who dreams when she needs an answer. I am Why Ask Questions When The Answers Will Not Help, who knows God when she dreams. Dreams! If I dream, am I no longer myself? Don't\ldots I\ldots{}''
+
+True Name froze. Everyone froze.
+
+``We were told--'' Sarah began, before Answers Will Not Help cut her off.
+
+``Prophets! Oh, where is Ezekiel when we need him? A meeting of prophets! \emph{Navi} to \emph{nevi'im!} The voice of God from the sky in a pillar of flame!'' She looked around, wide-eyed, and her voice grew conspiratorial. ``Or Qoheleth, a prophet of our own blood, bearing warning of memory entrancing!''
+
+Her words came out in an unceasing torrent. She waved her hand/paw toward the Artemisians, giggling. ``But instead we are Israel to \emph{nevi'im,} a people to prophets, a people to prophets! A people with our own personal HaShem, and the only time I know my true name is when I dream, and to know one's true name is to know God. Time feels so vast that were it not for an Eternity— Fuck, I\ldots time makes prey of remembering, I\ldots I fear me this Circumference engross my Finity— Oh AwDae, oh AwDae. Could you ever have guessed at the depths of the death of memory?''
+
+True Name stood quickly enough to knock her chair back and, with a decisive wash of skunk down her form, growled, ``How fucking dare--''
+
+The rest of the delegation pressed away from her with a shout. The firstracers rose up to their full height and Iska blurred quickly to stand atop their stool, shouting, ``\emph{Iha!}''
+
+``To his exclusion who prepare by process of Size\ldots of\ldots{}'' Answers Will Not Help continued, unfazed. She was phasing in and out of common time now, despite the promise of unison. Her words jittering now fast, now slow. ``I cannot feel em here. We are so far away from home. I cannot\ldots I miss em, I miss em. I miss\ldots was that eir prophecy? Was that why ey wrote me? Is this AwDae's words come true?''
+
+``Stop!'' True Name shouted. She swiped out at her cocladist, managing to grab a fistful of her blouse, roughly yanking her closer.
+
+With surprising speed, Answers Will Not Help slid a foot back and struck True Name's forearm with a downward strike of her own, getting a yelp from the skunk and forcing her to let go. She stumbled back, gasping, ``The flow of prophecy climbs up through the years, winter upon winter upon winter, and compels the future to do its bidding! Ey said\ldots ey said\ldots{}''
+
+True Name bared her teeth, tackling the blurring, crumbling form of Answers Will Not Help to the ground. ``Fucking stop! You cannot--''
+
+After a moment's tussle, Answers Will Not Help sprawled flat the ground, limp and laughing, retching, crying. ``For the Stupendous Vision of eir diameters—'' she said, and then quit, leaving True Name to fall to the ground, weeping.
+
+There was a shocked silence around the table, and when no one moved, Codrin slid out of eir chair to kneel by True Name's side. Her form had begun to waver once more, and, remembering the aversion to touch that came with that, ey simply knelt beside her, waiting until she calmed down.
+
+It was Sarah who broke the silence. ``What just happened?''
+
+Codrin spoke carefully. ``As mentioned, True Name and, uh\ldots Why Ask Questions—that is, Michelle Hadje—were among the lost, and I guess time skew is similar enough to--''
+
+``No,'' the Odist said between heaving breaths, clutching at her arm where it had been struck. ``She was right. That was Answers Will Not Help.''
+
+Tycho frowned, nodded. ``We had guessed.''
+
+``She should not have been able to do that,'' Iska said, nearly growling. ``She should not have been able to do any of that. No skew, no exit. What was she? Who are you?''
+
+``Leader True Name,'' Turun Ko said. ``Please explain `lost' in this context.''
+
+She did not move from her spot on the floor. ``You have heard about what it means to get lost, but there is no possible way that I can explain the way it has warped us. To get lost is to go mad.''
+
+Silence and stillness fell once more as all waited for True Name to continue. After a few long breaths and coarse swallows, she mastered her form once more. She knelt beside Codrin, wiping at the tear streaks on her muzzle and the dripping from her nose.
+
+``We are incomplete. We are unwhole.'' Her voice was bitter, even as she worked to bring back that mask of competence. ``We were broken and remain so. I do not know how it is that Answers Will Not Help was able to\ldots to manage skew or quit. You have my most abject apologies for the trouble caused, and for the deception with--''
+
+``Leader True Name,'' Turun Ka said, interrupting as politely as it had before. ``There will be time to discuss this topic. That time remains in the future. For now, please take this opportunity to, \emph{lu}\ldots gather yourself and clean up. You may take as long as you require. When you are able, you and I shall meet in our role as leaders.''
+
+The skunk wilted, her ears splaying to the sides. ``Of course, leader Turun Ka.''
+
+``Are you amenable to increasing the skew in the unison room? This will allow you to take all the time you need.''
+
+She nodded. ``Yes, that would be fine. It is uncomfortable, but I can sleep through the discomfort.''
+
+``\emph{Aën},'' it said. ``We shall return here in half an hour. The other participants shall meet in the central courtyard.''
+
+``I will join shortly,'' Iska said. ``I must contact a technician, first.''
+
+They did not wait, but seemed to disappear as they shifted up to a high enough skew to travel faster than ey could perceive.
+
+Codrin nodded to the other emissaries. ``Go ahead. I'll help True Name to her room, then join up with you in a bit.''
+
+``I am sorry,'' True Name mumbled, barely loud enough to be heard.
+
+``Leader True Name, please understand that you are in no way responsible. Even your deception was, as you say, wargamed. We will discuss shortly.''
+
+``Rest,'' Artante added. ``Become whole.''
+
+As the others departed Codrin held out eir arm, letting the skunk clutch it tightly as ey helped her to stand. They swayed together at the brief sensorium twinge as the unison room was skewed up by a factor of two.
+
+The walk down the hall was a slow and unsteady affair, and Codrin couldn't help but see every one of True Name's two and a half centuries in the way she moved. She looked as she always had, was as strong as she'd ever been, and yet each one of those long years seemed to be a weight she had to draw along behind her. She kept her grip on eir forearm throughout, however, as though the contact kept her pinned to one reality.
+
+\AddToHookNext{shipout/after}{\includepdf[pages={1},noautoscale=true,fitpaper=true]{assets/awnh}}
+Ey guided her into her room and helped her to sit down on the edge of her bed, and even then, it took her a few long seconds to loosen her grip.
+
+``You heard nothing today, Mx.~Bălan,'' she mumbled, quiet enough that ey had to lean closer to hear. ``I know what you thought you heard, but you heard nothing. Do not tell anyone. Do not tell Ioan, and certainly do not tell any others within the Ode clade.''
+
+Ey took a half step back from the skunk. So hoarse and clouded was her voice that ey couldn't piece together her mood. ``I\ldots is that a suggestion or a threat? I'm sorry, True Name. I know how much it means, I just--''
+
+She smiled weakly and shook her head before laying out on her side, rubbing her arm and wincing. ``It is a request from me to you, Codrin, from my clade to yours. Across our two entangled clades.'' The smile faded as she added, ``Not\ldots a request. A plea.''
+
+Ey nodded, struck silent by the sincerity in her voice. Real, actual sincerity. It made em feel bashful. Ey bowed and started to turn back toward the door.
+
+``Codrin?''
+
+``Yes?''
+
+Her voice was small. It bore fear and anxiety alongside the omnipresent exhaustion. ``Can you please stay for a few minutes?''
+
+``I, uh\ldots{}'' Ey swallowed dryly. ``Do you need anything?''
+
+``Just for someone to be present. I may need your help writing another note back to Castor in a bit,'' she said, then had to master some hidden emotion before continuing. ``But right now, I just need someone to anchor me. You are very good at that.''
+
+After a moment's hesitation, ey nodded, pulling up a chair from the small table in the center of the room. Ey sat beside the skunk as she lay still on the bed, eyes closed, her breathing growing more steady, and then slowing as she drifted into sleep.
+
+Ey watched her doze fitfully.
+
+What was it Dear had said? That she was still a fully realized person? \emph{She does still have emotions, they simply come from a place that we cannot access.}
+
+Ey wasn't sure how much ey believed that now, that they came from a place ey could not access. True Name had the same emotions ey did, ey knew now, and they came from that very same well within her. She had just become so singular an entity that their expression could only be framed through one very small, very precise lens.
+
+Hers was a control borne of anxiety, a competency borne of trauma, and this knowledge meant that ey could never unsee the core, fully realized humanity within her.
+
+\emph{All that may be, but what do I do with it?} ey thought. \emph{And how the hell am I going to keep what I heard hidden and buried?}

neviim/content/remote/codrin/007.tex

@@ -0,0 +1,147 @@
+\hypertarget{codrin-bux103lanartemis-2346}{%
+\chapter{Codrin Bălan\#Artemis — 2346}}
+\markboth{Codrin Bălan\#Artemis — 2346}{}
+
+\begin{center}
+\emph{Convergence T-minus 1 day, 2 hours, 12 minutes}
+\end{center}
+
+\noindent During the short break, Codrin helped True Name compose her letter and, after ey sent it, simply sat with her in quiet. The skunk remained still throughout, sitting on the edge of the bed and staring down at her knees. She looked small, and some part of em wanted to sit beside her and try to comfort her, but for the emotional and social distance between them, as well as her still jittery form.
+
+And so ey simply sat at her desk and watched her manage her breathing, keep her composure, meditate, or whatever it was that an Odist unbound did.
+
+Finally, ey reached out to offer a hand to the skunk to help her stand. ``It's time we start back, True Name.''
+
+She sighed, nodded, and waved eir hand away, standing on her own. ``Thank you, Mx.~Bălan. I appreciate your help.''
+
+Ey nodded, hesitated as ey composed eir question, and then asked, ``I don't wish to overstep my bounds, here, and will accept no as an answer, but can you tell me what exactly it was that Why Ask Questions meant by `I cannot feel em'?''
+
+After a moment swaying, the skunk straightened up and brushed her paws down over her blouse, straightening some imagined crease. ``You ask because of the pronoun?''
+
+Ey nodded.
+
+``I cannot tell you,'' she said. Looking steadily at em, she fixed a kind and competent expression in place. It bore a force to it, as though she was willing em to drop the subject. ``And that I cannot should explain enough.''
+
+Codrin blinked, clutched eir notebook closer to eir chest, and bowed to her. ``Of course, True Name. Shall we fetch Why Ask Questions?''
+
+The other Odist was not to be found in her room. She had apparently remained where she had been sitting before, arms crossed on the edge of the table with her head resting on them. Every time there was a shift in her form, it brought a jolt or an uncomfortable squirm, and yet she did not lift her head, even when True Name knelt down beside her to speak in hushed tones.
+
+The rest of the delegates arrived shortly after, Tycho and Stolon both looking quite happy. There was a moment's shuffling as Tycho, Sarah, and Codrin were shifted down by one so that True Name could remain sitting by her cocladist.
+
+Even so, the meeting was slow to get started. There were a few questions asked by both sides about history, but they all felt very careful, well constructed, and circumspect. It was plagued by silences and subtle glances to where Answers Will Not Help rested her head on the table.
+
+``From the sounds of it,'' Iska said. ``Of the four organic species present, all began their projects of building embedding systems after a traumatic event. It seems to be a common feature of biological systems. The desire to protect oneself or one's species from trauma is a common feature of all life.''
+
+``We ran-existed in simulation space within our physical-corporeal bodies-shells. There was no difference-change from post-biological life-existence and living in embedded form,'' Turun Ko added. ``We are unable to add-explain to the topic of biological trauma. Apologies.''
+
+True Name nodded. ``We understand, recorder Turun Ko.''
+
+``If I may ask,'' Codrin began. ``Was there a period of adjustment for firstrace after--''
+
+``Prophets!''
+
+Silence fell once more around the table. Answers Will Not Help pushed herself to her feet. Waves of skunk and human crashed violently across her form. She was crying harder than before. Her back arched taut and she laughed up toward the ceiling, a choked, gasping sound.
+
+True Name, struggling to hold her own form together, reached out to tug at Answers Will Not Help's sleeve. ``Please, my dear,'' she murmured. ``Representative Why Ask Questions, please sit down. I know it is--''
+
+``I am not her! I am not her. She is another me, who dreams when she needs an answer. I am Why Ask Questions When The Answers Will Not Help, who knows God when she dreams. Dreams! If I dream, am I no longer myself? Don't\ldots I\ldots{}''
+
+True Name froze. Everyone froze.
+
+``We were told--'' Sarah began, before Answers Will Not Help cut her off.
+
+``Prophets! Oh, where is Ezekiel when we need him? A meeting of prophets! \emph{Navi} to \emph{nevi'im!} The voice of God from the sky in a pillar of flame!'' She looked around, wide-eyed, and her voice grew conspiratorial. ``Or Qoheleth, a prophet of our own blood, bearing warning of memory entrancing!''
+
+Her words came out in an unceasing torrent. She waved her hand/paw toward the Artemisians, giggling. ``But instead we are Israel to \emph{nevi'im,} a people to prophets, a people to prophets! A people with our own personal HaShem, and the only time I know my true name is when I dream, and to know one's true name is to know God. Time feels so vast that were it not for an Eternity— Fuck, I\ldots time makes prey of remembering, I\ldots I fear me this Circumference engross my Finity— Oh AwDae, oh AwDae. Could you ever have guessed at the depths of the death of memory?''
+
+True Name stood quickly enough to knock her chair back and, with a decisive wash of skunk down her form, growled, ``How fucking dare--''
+
+The rest of the delegation pressed away from her with a shout. The firstracers rose up to their full height and Iska blurred quickly to stand atop their stool, shouting, ``\emph{Iha!}''
+
+``To his exclusion who prepare by process of Size\ldots of\ldots{}'' Answers Will Not Help continued, unfazed. She was phasing in and out of common time now, despite the promise of unison. Her words jittering now fast, now slow. ``I cannot feel em here. We are so far away from home. I cannot\ldots I miss em, I miss em. I miss\ldots was that eir prophecy? Was that why ey wrote me? Is this AwDae's words come true?''
+
+``Stop!'' True Name shouted. She swiped out at her cocladist, managing to grab a fistful of her blouse, roughly yanking her closer.
+
+With surprising speed, Answers Will Not Help slid a foot back and struck True Name's forearm with a downward strike of her own, getting a yelp from the skunk and forcing her to let go. She stumbled back, gasping, ``The flow of prophecy climbs up through the years, winter upon winter upon winter, and compels the future to do its bidding! Ey said\ldots ey said\ldots{}''
+
+True Name bared her teeth, tackling the blurring, crumbling form of Answers Will Not Help to the ground. ``Fucking stop! You cannot--''
+
+After a moment's tussle, Answers Will Not Help sprawled flat the ground, limp and laughing, retching, crying. ``For the Stupendous Vision of eir diameters—'' she said, and then quit, leaving True Name to fall to the ground, weeping.
+
+There was a shocked silence around the table, and when no one moved, Codrin slid out of eir chair to kneel by True Name's side. Her form had begun to waver once more, and, remembering the aversion to touch that came with that, ey simply knelt beside her, waiting until she calmed down.
+
+It was Sarah who broke the silence. ``What just happened?''
+
+Codrin spoke carefully. ``As mentioned, True Name and, uh\ldots Why Ask Questions—that is, Michelle Hadje—were among the lost, and I guess time skew is similar enough to--''
+
+``No,'' the Odist said between heaving breaths, clutching at her arm where it had been struck. ``She was right. That was Answers Will Not Help.''
+
+Tycho frowned, nodded. ``We had guessed.''
+
+``She should not have been able to do that,'' Iska said, nearly growling. ``She should not have been able to do any of that. No skew, no exit. What was she? Who are you?''
+
+``Leader True Name,'' Turun Ko said. ``Please explain `lost' in this context.''
+
+She did not move from her spot on the floor. ``You have heard about what it means to get lost, but there is no possible way that I can explain the way it has warped us. To get lost is to go mad.''
+
+Silence and stillness fell once more as all waited for True Name to continue. After a few long breaths and coarse swallows, she mastered her form once more. She knelt beside Codrin, wiping at the tear streaks on her muzzle and the dripping from her nose.
+
+``We are incomplete. We are unwhole.'' Her voice was bitter, even as she worked to bring back that mask of competence. ``We were broken and remain so. I do not know how it is that Answers Will Not Help was able to\ldots to manage skew or quit. You have my most abject apologies for the trouble caused, and for the deception with--''
+
+``Leader True Name,'' Turun Ka said, interrupting as politely as it had before. ``There will be time to discuss this topic. That time remains in the future. For now, please take this opportunity to, \emph{lu}\ldots gather yourself and clean up. You may take as long as you require. When you are able, you and I shall meet in our role as leaders.''
+
+The skunk wilted, her ears splaying to the sides. ``Of course, leader Turun Ka.''
+
+``Are you amenable to increasing the skew in the unison room? This will allow you to take all the time you need.''
+
+She nodded. ``Yes, that would be fine. It is uncomfortable, but I can sleep through the discomfort.''
+
+``\emph{Aën},'' it said. ``We shall return here in half an hour. The other participants shall meet in the central courtyard.''
+
+``I will join shortly,'' Iska said. ``I must contact a technician, first.''
+
+They did not wait, but seemed to disappear as they shifted up to a high enough skew to travel faster than ey could perceive.
+
+Codrin nodded to the other emissaries. ``Go ahead. I'll help True Name to her room, then join up with you in a bit.''
+
+``I am sorry,'' True Name mumbled, barely loud enough to be heard.
+
+``Leader True Name, please understand that you are in no way responsible. Even your deception was, as you say, wargamed. We will discuss shortly.''
+
+``Rest,'' Artante added. ``Become whole.''
+
+As the others departed Codrin held out eir arm, letting the skunk clutch it tightly as ey helped her to stand. They swayed together at the brief sensorium twinge as the unison room was skewed up by a factor of two.
+
+The walk down the hall was a slow and unsteady affair, and Codrin couldn't help but see every one of True Name's two and a half centuries in the way she moved. She looked as she always had, was as strong as she'd ever been, and yet each one of those long years seemed to be a weight she had to draw along behind her. She kept her grip on eir forearm throughout, however, as though the contact kept her pinned to one reality.
+
+Ey guided her into her room and helped her to sit down on the edge of her bed, and even then, it took her a few long seconds to loosen her grip.
+
+``You heard nothing today, Mx.~Bălan,'' she mumbled, quiet enough that ey had to lean closer to hear. ``I know what you thought you heard, but you heard nothing. Do not tell anyone. Do not tell Ioan, and certainly do not tell any others within the Ode clade.''
+
+Ey took a half step back from the skunk. So hoarse and clouded was her voice that ey couldn't piece together her mood. ``I\ldots is that a suggestion or a threat? I'm sorry, True Name. I know how much it means, I just--''
+
+She smiled weakly and shook her head before laying out on her side, rubbing her arm and wincing. ``It is a request from me to you, Codrin, from my clade to yours. Across our two entangled clades.'' The smile faded as she added, ``Not\ldots a request. A plea.''
+
+Ey nodded, struck silent by the sincerity in her voice. Real, actual sincerity. It made em feel bashful. Ey bowed and started to turn back toward the door.
+
+``Codrin?''
+
+``Yes?''
+
+Her voice was small. It bore fear and anxiety alongside the omnipresent exhaustion. ``Can you please stay for a few minutes?''
+
+``I, uh\ldots{}'' Ey swallowed dryly. ``Do you need anything?''
+
+``Just for someone to be present. I may need your help writing another note back to Castor in a bit,'' she said, then had to master some hidden emotion before continuing. ``But right now, I just need someone to anchor me. You are very good at that.''
+
+After a moment's hesitation, ey nodded, pulling up a chair from the small table in the center of the room. Ey sat beside the skunk as she lay still on the bed, eyes closed, her breathing growing more steady, and then slowing as she drifted into sleep.
+
+Ey watched her doze fitfully.
+
+What was it Dear had said? That she was still a fully realized person? \emph{She does still have emotions, they simply come from a place that we cannot access.}
+
+Ey wasn't sure how much ey believed that now, that they came from a place ey could not access. True Name had the same emotions ey did, ey knew now, and they came from that very same well within her. She had just become so singular an entity that their expression could only be framed through one very small, very precise lens.
+
+Hers was a control borne of anxiety, a competency borne of trauma, and this knowledge meant that ey could never unsee the core, fully realized humanity within her.
+
+\emph{All that may be, but what do I do with it?} ey thought. \emph{And how the hell am I going to keep what I heard hidden and buried?}

neviim/content/remote/codrin/008-illust.tex

@@ -0,0 +1,256 @@
+\hypertarget{codrin-bux103lanartemis-2346}{%
+\chapter{Codrin Bălan\#Artemis — 2346}}
+\markboth{Codrin Bălan\#Artemis — 2346}{}
+
+\begin{center}
+\emph{Convergence T-minus 1 day, 1 hour, 58 minutes}
+\end{center}
+
+\noindent As suggested, Codrin and Sarah wound up in the courtyard.
+
+There seemed to be no immediate recovery from the events of the past hour. There was no conversation to be had, no words that could be spoken to express so singular an event. There had been a\ldots{}was it a death? Answers Will Not Help had made it less than three days into the conference, and already she was gone.
+
+And ey had witnessed True Name\ldots{}was it sharing in confidence, a request for companionship, or something else?
+
+Ey felt dazed, unmoored from reality. Ey could feel more clearly the way that time clung to em in a way it couldn't back home, back on Castor. It was no stronger now than it had been at the beginning of the day, but, as might happen when one remembers that one is breathing, ey was suddenly and intensely aware of it.
+
+``Codrin?''
+
+Sarah's voice jolted em back to the present, and ey smiled tiredly to her. ``Sorry. I was elsewhere. What's up?''
+
+She laughed and waved away the comment. ``It's alright. That was a whole lot all at once. I was asking how True Name was when you left her. Is she alright?''
+
+``Yeah. She was sleeping. I don't know how much they-- well, how much she has been sleeping of late, but given that she seems constantly exhausted, I'm glad she's getting at least a little.''
+
+``This does seem to be taking its toll on her. When this is all over, I'd like to sit down with you and her and learn a bit more about this.'' She hesitated, then added, ``Or at least with you, depending on how willing she is.''
+
+Ey nodded. Ey could feel the knowledge of what ey'd learned sitting heavily in eir gut, clawing at eir insides. The Name, the pronouns, feeling the owner of the Name in the system. It wanted out, at least in some way, but there was no one other than True Name ey'd be able to share that with from now until eternity.
+
+Swallowing down the feeling clutching at eir throat, ey said instead, ``You know, when she was laying down to nap, she said something like, `I need someone to anchor me and you are very good at that'. Come to think of it, I got a note from Codrin\#Castor that Tycho said similar earlier, that he said I'm `grounding'.''
+
+Sarah nodded readily. ``You are, yes. Why do you bring it up?''
+
+``It's not something I'd really considered about myself.'' Ey spoke slowly, piecing together eir thoughts as ey went. ``I've been questioning my path in life moving forward. I've been very passive, very much like a recorder. I'm \emph{good} at being an amanuensis, but I also feel like I get dragged into it more often than I choose to do so.''
+
+``Does being a grounding person help with that?''
+
+Ey shrugged. ``I suppose so. Empathy helps, because it lets me understand what's happening more readily, lets me build a more complete story. The way Tycho and True Name put it, though, sounds\ldots I don't know, more active.''
+
+She nodded again, waiting in silence until ey was done speaking.
+
+``Ioan's moved on to theatre, Codrin\#Pollux is a librarian now, and I'm just doing the same thing I was doing almost a hundred years ago. This whole thing about being grounding combined with the need for something new just has me thinking about what to do with my life.''
+
+``It's a complex question, Codrin. Hell, even when we were limited to ninety or a hundred years, folks would talk about having midlife crises, questioning what it was that they really wanted to do, and a lot of times it came down to feeling a lack of agency. Psychologists would\ldots{}'' She trailed off, looking over eir shoulder. ``Well, lets pick this up later. Artante and Turun Ko are on their way.''
+
+Ey turned to look, noticing the two Artemisians moving slower than expected. A moment's thought showed that ey was still running at a skew of +1.2 as the meeting had been, so ey dropped back down to common time.
+
+Turun Ko dipped its head as Artante bowed, saying, ``Recorder Codrin Bălan, representative Sarah Genet. Do you know where the scientists are?''
+
+``They're probably down the hall,'' Codrin said, returning the bow. ``Every time they sneak off, they head for an alcove there and talk as much as they can.''
+
+``We are pleased-excited to witness mutual-shared enjoyment,'' Turun Ko said, voice bouncing between registers in amusement.
+
+The fourthracer laughed. ``I am not surprised. Will you join us in finding them?''
+
+Codrin led them down the hall past their rest area. The hallway continued beyond, though it ended at a flat wall that ey supposed must be an exit when the place was not in use for a convergence. To the side, though, there was an alcove, windows on the three walls looking out over a garden. It seemed perpetually sunny, and every time ey'd seen them there, the thirdracer had been sunning themself while they chatted.
+
+``\emph{Nahi,} recorder Codrin Bălan,'' Stolon said, then sat up straighter when they noticed Turun Ko, bowing from a seated position to the other delegates. ``\emph{Rehas' les.}''
+
+Ey bowed. ``Apologies for interrupting. I figured I'd get us all together as suggested.''
+
+``\emph{Ka, ka,}'' Stolon said, bobbing their head.
+
+There was a ping against eir sense of time, a sensation of insistent pressing.
+
+``Please?'' Turun Ko said. ``We will speak at synchronized skew.''
+
+Ey frowned, relaxing against the sensation and feeling eir control over time diminish. After a moment of looking uncomfortable, both Sarah and Tycho nodded as well.
+
+There was a brief lurch as time skewed quickly up to two point five, moving far more quickly and with more surety than eir experiments up to that point.
+
+``Thank you, recorder Codrin Bălan, representative Sarah Genet, scientist Tycho Brahe.'' The firstracer eased back, settling onto its haunches and tail and clasping its hands together over its front, which appeared to be the default resting state for its race.
+
+``How do you feel the convergence is going?'' Artante asked.
+
+Tycho picked at a corner of the stone sill, shrugging. ``Well enough, I suppose. I'm feeling really in over my head.''
+
+Stolon tilted their head far to the side. ``In over\ldots?''
+
+``\emph{Nu\ldots nukupot\ldots kopotla\ldots{}}'' he stammered. He had apparently held true to his promise to learn more of the language.
+
+``\emph{Iha! Ka, ka, nukupotla,} not-knowing?''
+
+``Something like that. I don't know what's going on, and don't have much to contribute. Not much knowledge to give, I mean, when we're talking about social stuff.''
+
+``\emph{Irr, ka,} I also.'' The thirdracer made a frustrated gesture with one of their hands and then shifted to drape languidly over the edge of the windowsill, hands hanging nearly down to the ground and feet kicking lazily behind them in the alcove. It was a nearly childlike move that Codrin found incredibly endearing. Something more\ldots well, not human, but perhaps personable in this otherwise impersonal conference.
+
+``I went into academia because-- sorry, into studying as one of the only things I do in my life because that seemed to be the only way I could just do what it was that I wanted,'' Tycho said. ``No commitments, no distractions. Just the stars and math.''
+
+Stolon stretched out long enough to grab a curly-edged leaf from one of the short bushes, picking at it between dull claws. ``I also, \emph{ka.} I am not\ldots combination? Child? I am from before embedding. Before before, I also study. I study stars and inside planets. I also in over my head. I am knowing how convergence works, so I am here, but still I dream of stars.''
+
+``I was on my way into academia as well,'' Codrin said, filing the thirdracer's use of `child' and `combination' away for later questioning. ``But I guess my chosen interests align a bit more with politics than astronomy.''
+
+``\emph{Anem, anem.}''
+
+Turun Ko looked to Sarah.
+
+``Stressful,'' she said. ``I really don't know what to make of earlier.''
+
+``I am, \emph{lu}\ldots sorry that your friend exits,'' Stolon said, and Artante nodded in agreement. ``I do not know how, Iska looks into this.''
+
+Turun Ko bowed its head. ``We wish to speak-discuss with you the events-proceedings from earlier.''
+
+``To begin with,'' Artante said, picking up the conversation. ``Do you have any questions that we can answer? This may inform the discussion.''
+
+When Sarah and Tycho did not speak, ey asked, ``I don't imagine there's much you'll be able to answer so soon in the talks, but leader Turun Ka mentioned that deception had been wargamed. Is this the type of thing that's expected at a convergence?''
+
+``Yes, recorder Codrin Bălan. The possibility-probability that a new race-culture-species practices-engages-in deception is one item on a checklist of one beginning and two endings.''
+
+``Beginning? Endings?'' Ey shook eir head. ``Well, stepping back, what do you mean by checklist?''
+
+``Convergences are processes. Processes may be smooth-easy or rough-difficult. It is our goal-aim to ensure smoothness-ease, as I think-suspect must be that of leader True Name.''
+
+This was the most that Turun Ko had said at once over the last few days and, despite its statuesque nature, ey was keen on drawing more out of one so aligned with eir own goals. ``So you have a list of items and possibilities that might happen during a convergence and we're making our way down the list?''
+
+``\emph{Anem.}''
+
+``And the beginning was first contact?''
+
+``\emph{Anem.}''
+
+``I am studying convergence also. I learn your language, not so well, maybe.'' Stolon chattered their teeth in amusement. ``Also I learn path of convergence. Items on checklist, leader Turun Ka says. We have list of steps for convergence, and each of us\ldots{}\emph{jaruvi}\ldots see? Notice\ldots each of us notice what you say and what you do, and we complete checklist. I study this before.''
+
+Ey frowned. Ey wanted nothing more than to write this down, to do as ey always had done and incorporate this into a story, but something about this meeting seemed to preclude that possibility. Something about it was meant only for this space.
+
+``I see,'' ey said. ``And that you have two endings implies that there is a goal, \emph{anem?}''
+
+``\emph{Anem.}'' Turun Ko lifted its snout. ``You will join-converge with us as fifthrace or you will not.''
+
+There was silence within that bubble of fast-time, and ey imagined that it was em, Tycho, and Sarah struggling to process this information while the three Artemisians waited patiently for the next step in the conversation—or perhaps the next item on the checklist.
+
+The pressure to ask the correct question weighing down eir shoulders, Codrin nonetheless stood up straighter. ``Is there a correct ending?''
+
+A smile tugged at the corner of Artante's mouth, leading to a sense of relief within em. Ey suspected that em asking that very question might have been an item on their list.
+
+``\emph{Unot.} The endings share equality-correctness.''
+
+``Will the decision be mutual?'' Sarah asked.
+
+``\emph{Ka,} representative Sarah Genet. The decision-ending must be mutual-shared before the Ansible-transmission-mechanisms will be unlocked-ungated-opened on both Castor and Artemis, \emph{anem?}''
+
+``It has to be,'' Codrin said. ``If one side, as a whole, did not want to join, they wouldn't turn on their Ansible for general use.''
+
+Artante nodded. ``And the other, seeing that, might feel enough unease that the decision would become mutual, even if it had not started that way.''
+
+``Are we on the path towards becoming fifthrace, then?'' ey asked.
+
+After a pause, Turun Ko said, ``The list does not work-function in this way, recorder Codrin Bălan. The decision-inflection-point is preceded by a cloud-tree-collection-net-pile-table-graph of interconnected actions-items-steps.''
+
+It took em a few seconds to plow through the litany of synonyms to reach the heart of the statement. ``To be clear, there are a bunch of steps leading up to this decision point?''
+
+``\emph{Anem.}''
+
+``Can you tell us what they are?''
+
+``\emph{Nu.} We cannot.''
+
+``There are some different shades of meaning to that word, recorder Turun Ko,'' Sarah said thoughtfully. ``\,`Cannot' can mean that you aren't able to, or that you are unwilling to. Can you expand on that? Are you able to, I mean?''
+
+``We cannot,'' it repeated, and Codrin once more caught that ghost of a smile on Artante's face.
+
+``Either could be true, but that's not the correct conversation to have right now,'' ey guessed.
+
+At this Artante laughed. ``You learn quickly, recorder Codrin Bălan.''
+
+Ey smiled, shrugged. ``It's my job to pay attention.''
+
+Stolon bobbed their head. ``\emph{Anem,} recorder Codrin Bălan. We find patterns and say `yes yes' or `no no' and do next thing. You hear, `this is not time to have that conversation.' We say because we use checklist.''
+
+``Alright. You can just call me Codrin, by the way.''
+
+``And you can just call me Sarah.''
+
+``Tycho.''
+
+``\emph{Ka, ka,} can call Stolon also.''
+
+``\emph{Aën.} Thank you Codrin. We will continue to use full names during the talks, but you may call me Artante outside of them.''
+
+``I will remain-always-be Turun Ko.''
+
+There was another moment's silence as they processed and the Artemisians waited. Tycho and Stolon drifted back into quiet conversation, the secondracer plucking at another leaf or two.
+
+There was so much to take in here, but on further examination, it all made quite a bit of sense. The Artemisians had prepared for this event as thoroughly as had the Odists and Jonases. Of course there would be things that would happen—or at least could be reasonably expected to happen—throughout the convergence. The Artemisians simply had a head start in that they had history to lean on: they'd been through at least three convergences prior to this one.
+
+``I don't imagine there was anything like what happened with Answers Will Not Help in your steps,'' ey said, finally.
+
+``\emph{Nu.} There are analogous-similar topics. Psychosis and time-sickness have been seen-observed in the past. This is why quitting-exiting-death are prevented-illegal in the conference and rest areas. That representative Answers Will Not Help quit-exited-died is upsetting-distressing-concerning. Representative Iska has undertaken the task of exploring-examining the event.''
+
+``Right. I'm sure True Name and Turun Ka are discussing this, too.''
+
+Artante shook her head. ``They are having a different discussion. It is not the time for them to have the conversation of steps and checklists.''
+
+Sarah frowned. ``Should we tell her about this discussion?''
+
+After a hesitation, the fourtracer replied, ``There are steps on the checklist for if you do and if you do not.''
+
+\emph{Sounds like a no, then,} Codrin thought, working to maintain a neutral expression. For all their talk about staying away from manipulation and subtlety, there sure seemed to be plenty going. It was as Tycho said: they seemed to be working on some higher level, less comprehensible to em as a mere mortal. Ey supposed five thousand years of flying around through space would change how one engages with the world no matter what.
+
+``And how about you two?'' ey said.
+
+Turun Ko tilted its head far to the side. ``\emph{Lubaenåtam?}''
+
+``Do you two have steps of your own? Desired outcomes?''
+
+``You ask an interesting question,'' Artante said, sounding thoughtful. ``I want what's best, and with each passing conversation between delegations, the meaning of `what's best' shifts. I'm sorry that I can't put it more clearly than that, though I can assure you that I consider us to be together in this: what's best for the Artemisians will also be what's best for you.''
+
+``And you, Turun Ko?''
+
+It straightened up, joints and synthetic flesh shifting smoothly in a well-articulated dance, as though it was running through some internal checklist to correct its posture. ``I want-desire stories. There is no combination of steps-items on our list that will not result-in-lead-to stories, so I will not be disappointed. I have received-learned many already, and I am content-happy-satisfied-fulfilled and will remain-continue-to-be so even if you become-turn-into the most exceptionally-stupendously boring-droll numbskulls-sadsacks-dipshits in the visible-observable universe.''
+
+Codrin and Sarah both stared at the firstracer before laughing, joined by Artante. Even she seemed taken aback by the sudden injection of humor.
+
+``I guess we have proven interesting, if nothing else,'' Sarah said.
+
+``\emph{Anem,}'' Turun Ko confirmed, and the single word came out nearly a song.
+
+Conversation waned. Silence. Comfortable. Warm. The six of them seemed content to bask and watch the shadows of leaves play on the wall. Ey was tired, ey realized. Dreadfully exhausted. The warmth of the sun, even standing up, seemed to be doing its best to lull em to sleep. Stolon also seemed to be enjoying it quite a bit, stretching languidly, speaking lazily.
+
+``I am not worrying.'' They poked a torn bit of the leaf into their mouth and chewed thoughtfully before spitting it out with a choking sound. ``\emph{Natarla\ldots{}}''
+
+Laughing, Tycho said, ``Not so tasty?''
+
+``\emph{Nu, nu,}'' Stolon said, chattering their teeth again.
+
+Codrin shook emself to wakefulness, rubbing at eir face with a hand. ``Why aren't you worried?''
+
+The thirdracer shrugged, tail flipping about in a wide arc as they rolled over onto their back, flexible enough to drape over the windowsill and sun their belly that way. ``Convergence is convergence. Is to be happy and safe, \emph{anem?} Is for leaders and representatives. Scientist, am not worrying. Stars are not lying. Artemis is not lying. Physics is not lying. If you do not join Artemis, will, \emph{lu}\ldots think about? Will think about you, but good to be happy and safe, and science is not lying.''
+
+\AddToHookNext{shipout/after}{\includepdf[pages={1},noautoscale=true,fitpaper=true]{assets/stolon}}
+Throughout Stolon's short speech, Tycho sat up straighter, his grin growing wider. ``Yeah, I like that. Science is not lying. It can't, really, can it? Politics can lie, and maybe that's why I hate it so much.''
+
+``\emph{Ka, ka.}''
+
+``And I'd think about you too, if things go that direction. I honestly didn't really think about that being on the table until after the conference started and we began actually interacting with each other, and now I have to admit that I'm really hoping it \emph{does} work out. For us joining, I mean. I like it here.''
+
+The two scientists seemed to have fallen back into their own world, leaving the others to stand by and watch.
+
+``Two of a kind,'' ey heard Sarah murmur, and ey nodded, grinning along with her.
+
+``Is home, \emph{anem.} I am liking it, but I am also only living here.''
+
+Tycho nodded, ``I'm only on Castor and Pollux, yeah.''
+
+``Is Pollux same?''
+
+``Yeah, they started out identical, but they've diverged over time.'' He frowned, shrugged. ``I bet Tycho\#Pollux is feeling awful now, missing all of this. Or will when he learns, I guess.''
+
+``No Tycho on Lagrange construct?''
+
+``Nope, I invested fully. Did you leave an instance of yourself back on your original system?''
+
+``\emph{Lu}\ldots yes, but they exited after convergence and distance grew. Friends say that Stolon got sad, spent all of time thinking about Artemis.'' They lifted their snout to peer up at him. ``Tycho will join if possible, \emph{anem?}''
+
+Codrin also looked to Tycho. The astronomer was already grinning widely. It was far more positive emotion than ey'd seen on his face to date, and ey couldn't imagine any other answer than what came next.
+
+``\emph{Anem!} Of course I will.''

neviim/content/remote/codrin/008.tex

@@ -0,0 +1,255 @@
+\hypertarget{codrin-bux103lanartemis-2346}{%
+\chapter{Codrin Bălan\#Artemis — 2346}}
+\markboth{Codrin Bălan\#Artemis — 2346}{}
+
+\begin{center}
+\emph{Convergence T-minus 1 day, 1 hour, 58 minutes}
+\end{center}
+
+\noindent As suggested, Codrin and Sarah wound up in the courtyard.
+
+There seemed to be no immediate recovery from the events of the past hour. There was no conversation to be had, no words that could be spoken to express so singular an event. There had been a\ldots{}was it a death? Answers Will Not Help had made it less than three days into the conference, and already she was gone.
+
+And ey had witnessed True Name\ldots{}was it sharing in confidence, a request for companionship, or something else?
+
+Ey felt dazed, unmoored from reality. Ey could feel more clearly the way that time clung to em in a way it couldn't back home, back on Castor. It was no stronger now than it had been at the beginning of the day, but, as might happen when one remembers that one is breathing, ey was suddenly and intensely aware of it.
+
+``Codrin?''
+
+Sarah's voice jolted em back to the present, and ey smiled tiredly to her. ``Sorry. I was elsewhere. What's up?''
+
+She laughed and waved away the comment. ``It's alright. That was a whole lot all at once. I was asking how True Name was when you left her. Is she alright?''
+
+``Yeah. She was sleeping. I don't know how much they-- well, how much she has been sleeping of late, but given that she seems constantly exhausted, I'm glad she's getting at least a little.''
+
+``This does seem to be taking its toll on her. When this is all over, I'd like to sit down with you and her and learn a bit more about this.'' She hesitated, then added, ``Or at least with you, depending on how willing she is.''
+
+Ey nodded. Ey could feel the knowledge of what ey'd learned sitting heavily in eir gut, clawing at eir insides. The Name, the pronouns, feeling the owner of the Name in the system. It wanted out, at least in some way, but there was no one other than True Name ey'd be able to share that with from now until eternity.
+
+Swallowing down the feeling clutching at eir throat, ey said instead, ``You know, when she was laying down to nap, she said something like, `I need someone to anchor me and you are very good at that'. Come to think of it, I got a note from Codrin\#Castor that Tycho said similar earlier, that he said I'm `grounding'.''
+
+Sarah nodded readily. ``You are, yes. Why do you bring it up?''
+
+``It's not something I'd really considered about myself.'' Ey spoke slowly, piecing together eir thoughts as ey went. ``I've been questioning my path in life moving forward. I've been very passive, very much like a recorder. I'm \emph{good} at being an amanuensis, but I also feel like I get dragged into it more often than I choose to do so.''
+
+``Does being a grounding person help with that?''
+
+Ey shrugged. ``I suppose so. Empathy helps, because it lets me understand what's happening more readily, lets me build a more complete story. The way Tycho and True Name put it, though, sounds\ldots I don't know, more active.''
+
+She nodded again, waiting in silence until ey was done speaking.
+
+``Ioan's moved on to theatre, Codrin\#Pollux is a librarian now, and I'm just doing the same thing I was doing almost a hundred years ago. This whole thing about being grounding combined with the need for something new just has me thinking about what to do with my life.''
+
+``It's a complex question, Codrin. Hell, even when we were limited to ninety or a hundred years, folks would talk about having midlife crises, questioning what it was that they really wanted to do, and a lot of times it came down to feeling a lack of agency. Psychologists would\ldots{}'' She trailed off, looking over eir shoulder. ``Well, lets pick this up later. Artante and Turun Ko are on their way.''
+
+Ey turned to look, noticing the two Artemisians moving slower than expected. A moment's thought showed that ey was still running at a skew of +1.2 as the meeting had been, so ey dropped back down to common time.
+
+Turun Ko dipped its head as Artante bowed, saying, ``Recorder Codrin Bălan, representative Sarah Genet. Do you know where the scientists are?''
+
+``They're probably down the hall,'' Codrin said, returning the bow. ``Every time they sneak off, they head for an alcove there and talk as much as they can.''
+
+``We are pleased-excited to witness mutual-shared enjoyment,'' Turun Ko said, voice bouncing between registers in amusement.
+
+The fourthracer laughed. ``I am not surprised. Will you join us in finding them?''
+
+Codrin led them down the hall past their rest area. The hallway continued beyond, though it ended at a flat wall that ey supposed must be an exit when the place was not in use for a convergence. To the side, though, there was an alcove, windows on the three walls looking out over a garden. It seemed perpetually sunny, and every time ey'd seen them there, the thirdracer had been sunning themself while they chatted.
+
+``\emph{Nahi,} recorder Codrin Bălan,'' Stolon said, then sat up straighter when they noticed Turun Ko, bowing from a seated position to the other delegates. ``\emph{Rehas' les.}''
+
+Ey bowed. ``Apologies for interrupting. I figured I'd get us all together as suggested.''
+
+``\emph{Ka, ka,}'' Stolon said, bobbing their head.
+
+There was a ping against eir sense of time, a sensation of insistent pressing.
+
+``Please?'' Turun Ko said. ``We will speak at synchronized skew.''
+
+Ey frowned, relaxing against the sensation and feeling eir control over time diminish. After a moment of looking uncomfortable, both Sarah and Tycho nodded as well.
+
+There was a brief lurch as time skewed quickly up to two point five, moving far more quickly and with more surety than eir experiments up to that point.
+
+``Thank you, recorder Codrin Bălan, representative Sarah Genet, scientist Tycho Brahe.'' The firstracer eased back, settling onto its haunches and tail and clasping its hands together over its front, which appeared to be the default resting state for its race.
+
+``How do you feel the convergence is going?'' Artante asked.
+
+Tycho picked at a corner of the stone sill, shrugging. ``Well enough, I suppose. I'm feeling really in over my head.''
+
+Stolon tilted their head far to the side. ``In over\ldots?''
+
+``\emph{Nu\ldots nukupot\ldots kopotla\ldots{}}'' he stammered. He had apparently held true to his promise to learn more of the language.
+
+``\emph{Iha! Ka, ka, nukupotla,} not-knowing?''
+
+``Something like that. I don't know what's going on, and don't have much to contribute. Not much knowledge to give, I mean, when we're talking about social stuff.''
+
+``\emph{Irr, ka,} I also.'' The thirdracer made a frustrated gesture with one of their hands and then shifted to drape languidly over the edge of the windowsill, hands hanging nearly down to the ground and feet kicking lazily behind them in the alcove. It was a nearly childlike move that Codrin found incredibly endearing. Something more\ldots well, not human, but perhaps personable in this otherwise impersonal conference.
+
+``I went into academia because-- sorry, into studying as one of the only things I do in my life because that seemed to be the only way I could just do what it was that I wanted,'' Tycho said. ``No commitments, no distractions. Just the stars and math.''
+
+Stolon stretched out long enough to grab a curly-edged leaf from one of the short bushes, picking at it between dull claws. ``I also, \emph{ka.} I am not\ldots combination? Child? I am from before embedding. Before before, I also study. I study stars and inside planets. I also in over my head. I am knowing how convergence works, so I am here, but still I dream of stars.''
+
+``I was on my way into academia as well,'' Codrin said, filing the thirdracer's use of `child' and `combination' away for later questioning. ``But I guess my chosen interests align a bit more with politics than astronomy.''
+
+``\emph{Anem, anem.}''
+
+Turun Ko looked to Sarah.
+
+``Stressful,'' she said. ``I really don't know what to make of earlier.''
+
+``I am, \emph{lu}\ldots sorry that your friend exits,'' Stolon said, and Artante nodded in agreement. ``I do not know how, Iska looks into this.''
+
+Turun Ko bowed its head. ``We wish to speak-discuss with you the events-proceedings from earlier.''
+
+``To begin with,'' Artante said, picking up the conversation. ``Do you have any questions that we can answer? This may inform the discussion.''
+
+When Sarah and Tycho did not speak, ey asked, ``I don't imagine there's much you'll be able to answer so soon in the talks, but leader Turun Ka mentioned that deception had been wargamed. Is this the type of thing that's expected at a convergence?''
+
+``Yes, recorder Codrin Bălan. The possibility-probability that a new race-culture-species practices-engages-in deception is one item on a checklist of one beginning and two endings.''
+
+``Beginning? Endings?'' Ey shook eir head. ``Well, stepping back, what do you mean by checklist?''
+
+``Convergences are processes. Processes may be smooth-easy or rough-difficult. It is our goal-aim to ensure smoothness-ease, as I think-suspect must be that of leader True Name.''
+
+This was the most that Turun Ko had said at once over the last few days and, despite its statuesque nature, ey was keen on drawing more out of one so aligned with eir own goals. ``So you have a list of items and possibilities that might happen during a convergence and we're making our way down the list?''
+
+``\emph{Anem.}''
+
+``And the beginning was first contact?''
+
+``\emph{Anem.}''
+
+``I am studying convergence also. I learn your language, not so well, maybe.'' Stolon chattered their teeth in amusement. ``Also I learn path of convergence. Items on checklist, leader Turun Ka says. We have list of steps for convergence, and each of us\ldots{}\emph{jaruvi}\ldots see? Notice\ldots each of us notice what you say and what you do, and we complete checklist. I study this before.''
+
+Ey frowned. Ey wanted nothing more than to write this down, to do as ey always had done and incorporate this into a story, but something about this meeting seemed to preclude that possibility. Something about it was meant only for this space.
+
+``I see,'' ey said. ``And that you have two endings implies that there is a goal, \emph{anem?}''
+
+``\emph{Anem.}'' Turun Ko lifted its snout. ``You will join-converge with us as fifthrace or you will not.''
+
+There was silence within that bubble of fast-time, and ey imagined that it was em, Tycho, and Sarah struggling to process this information while the three Artemisians waited patiently for the next step in the conversation—or perhaps the next item on the checklist.
+
+The pressure to ask the correct question weighing down eir shoulders, Codrin nonetheless stood up straighter. ``Is there a correct ending?''
+
+A smile tugged at the corner of Artante's mouth, leading to a sense of relief within em. Ey suspected that em asking that very question might have been an item on their list.
+
+``\emph{Unot.} The endings share equality-correctness.''
+
+``Will the decision be mutual?'' Sarah asked.
+
+``\emph{Ka,} representative Sarah Genet. The decision-ending must be mutual-shared before the Ansible-transmission-mechanisms will be unlocked-ungated-opened on both Castor and Artemis, \emph{anem?}''
+
+``It has to be,'' Codrin said. ``If one side, as a whole, did not want to join, they wouldn't turn on their Ansible for general use.''
+
+Artante nodded. ``And the other, seeing that, might feel enough unease that the decision would become mutual, even if it had not started that way.''
+
+``Are we on the path towards becoming fifthrace, then?'' ey asked.
+
+After a pause, Turun Ko said, ``The list does not work-function in this way, recorder Codrin Bălan. The decision-inflection-point is preceded by a cloud-tree-collection-net-pile-table-graph of interconnected actions-items-steps.''
+
+It took em a few seconds to plow through the litany of synonyms to reach the heart of the statement. ``To be clear, there are a bunch of steps leading up to this decision point?''
+
+``\emph{Anem.}''
+
+``Can you tell us what they are?''
+
+``\emph{Nu.} We cannot.''
+
+``There are some different shades of meaning to that word, recorder Turun Ko,'' Sarah said thoughtfully. ``\,`Cannot' can mean that you aren't able to, or that you are unwilling to. Can you expand on that? Are you able to, I mean?''
+
+``We cannot,'' it repeated, and Codrin once more caught that ghost of a smile on Artante's face.
+
+``Either could be true, but that's not the correct conversation to have right now,'' ey guessed.
+
+At this Artante laughed. ``You learn quickly, recorder Codrin Bălan.''
+
+Ey smiled, shrugged. ``It's my job to pay attention.''
+
+Stolon bobbed their head. ``\emph{Anem,} recorder Codrin Bălan. We find patterns and say `yes yes' or `no no' and do next thing. You hear, `this is not time to have that conversation.' We say because we use checklist.''
+
+``Alright. You can just call me Codrin, by the way.''
+
+``And you can just call me Sarah.''
+
+``Tycho.''
+
+``\emph{Ka, ka,} can call Stolon also.''
+
+``\emph{Aën.} Thank you Codrin. We will continue to use full names during the talks, but you may call me Artante outside of them.''
+
+``I will remain-always-be Turun Ko.''
+
+There was another moment's silence as they processed and the Artemisians waited. Tycho and Stolon drifted back into quiet conversation, the secondracer plucking at another leaf or two.
+
+There was so much to take in here, but on further examination, it all made quite a bit of sense. The Artemisians had prepared for this event as thoroughly as had the Odists and Jonases. Of course there would be things that would happen—or at least could be reasonably expected to happen—throughout the convergence. The Artemisians simply had a head start in that they had history to lean on: they'd been through at least three convergences prior to this one.
+
+``I don't imagine there was anything like what happened with Answers Will Not Help in your steps,'' ey said, finally.
+
+``\emph{Nu.} There are analogous-similar topics. Psychosis and time-sickness have been seen-observed in the past. This is why quitting-exiting-death are prevented-illegal in the conference and rest areas. That representative Answers Will Not Help quit-exited-died is upsetting-distressing-concerning. Representative Iska has undertaken the task of exploring-examining the event.''
+
+``Right. I'm sure True Name and Turun Ka are discussing this, too.''
+
+Artante shook her head. ``They are having a different discussion. It is not the time for them to have the conversation of steps and checklists.''
+
+Sarah frowned. ``Should we tell her about this discussion?''
+
+After a hesitation, the fourtracer replied, ``There are steps on the checklist for if you do and if you do not.''
+
+\emph{Sounds like a no, then,} Codrin thought, working to maintain a neutral expression. For all their talk about staying away from manipulation and subtlety, there sure seemed to be plenty going. It was as Tycho said: they seemed to be working on some higher level, less comprehensible to em as a mere mortal. Ey supposed five thousand years of flying around through space would change how one engages with the world no matter what.
+
+``And how about you two?'' ey said.
+
+Turun Ko tilted its head far to the side. ``\emph{Lubaenåtam?}''
+
+``Do you two have steps of your own? Desired outcomes?''
+
+``You ask an interesting question,'' Artante said, sounding thoughtful. ``I want what's best, and with each passing conversation between delegations, the meaning of `what's best' shifts. I'm sorry that I can't put it more clearly than that, though I can assure you that I consider us to be together in this: what's best for the Artemisians will also be what's best for you.''
+
+``And you, Turun Ko?''
+
+It straightened up, joints and synthetic flesh shifting smoothly in a well-articulated dance, as though it was running through some internal checklist to correct its posture. ``I want-desire stories. There is no combination of steps-items on our list that will not result-in-lead-to stories, so I will not be disappointed. I have received-learned many already, and I am content-happy-satisfied-fulfilled and will remain-continue-to-be so even if you become-turn-into the most exceptionally-stupendously boring-droll numbskulls-sadsacks-dipshits in the visible-observable universe.''
+
+Codrin and Sarah both stared at the firstracer before laughing, joined by Artante. Even she seemed taken aback by the sudden injection of humor.
+
+``I guess we have proven interesting, if nothing else,'' Sarah said.
+
+``\emph{Anem,}'' Turun Ko confirmed, and the single word came out nearly a song.
+
+Conversation waned. Silence. Comfortable. Warm. The six of them seemed content to bask and watch the shadows of leaves play on the wall. Ey was tired, ey realized. Dreadfully exhausted. The warmth of the sun, even standing up, seemed to be doing its best to lull em to sleep. Stolon also seemed to be enjoying it quite a bit, stretching languidly, speaking lazily.
+
+``I am not worrying.'' They poked a torn bit of the leaf into their mouth and chewed thoughtfully before spitting it out with a choking sound. ``\emph{Natarla\ldots{}}''
+
+Laughing, Tycho said, ``Not so tasty?''
+
+``\emph{Nu, nu,}'' Stolon said, chattering their teeth again.
+
+Codrin shook emself to wakefulness, rubbing at eir face with a hand. ``Why aren't you worried?''
+
+The thirdracer shrugged, tail flipping about in a wide arc as they rolled over onto their back, flexible enough to drape over the windowsill and sun their belly that way. ``Convergence is convergence. Is to be happy and safe, \emph{anem?} Is for leaders and representatives. Scientist, am not worrying. Stars are not lying. Artemis is not lying. Physics is not lying. If you do not join Artemis, will, \emph{lu}\ldots think about? Will think about you, but good to be happy and safe, and science is not lying.''
+
+Throughout Stolon's short speech, Tycho sat up straighter, his grin growing wider. ``Yeah, I like that. Science is not lying. It can't, really, can it? Politics can lie, and maybe that's why I hate it so much.''
+
+``\emph{Ka, ka.}''
+
+``And I'd think about you too, if things go that direction. I honestly didn't really think about that being on the table until after the conference started and we began actually interacting with each other, and now I have to admit that I'm really hoping it \emph{does} work out. For us joining, I mean. I like it here.''
+
+The two scientists seemed to have fallen back into their own world, leaving the others to stand by and watch.
+
+``Two of a kind,'' ey heard Sarah murmur, and ey nodded, grinning along with her.
+
+``Is home, \emph{anem.} I am liking it, but I am also only living here.''
+
+Tycho nodded, ``I'm only on Castor and Pollux, yeah.''
+
+``Is Pollux same?''
+
+``Yeah, they started out identical, but they've diverged over time.'' He frowned, shrugged. ``I bet Tycho\#Pollux is feeling awful now, missing all of this. Or will when he learns, I guess.''
+
+``No Tycho on Lagrange construct?''
+
+``Nope, I invested fully. Did you leave an instance of yourself back on your original system?''
+
+``\emph{Lu}\ldots yes, but they exited after convergence and distance grew. Friends say that Stolon got sad, spent all of time thinking about Artemis.'' They lifted their snout to peer up at him. ``Tycho will join if possible, \emph{anem?}''
+
+Codrin also looked to Tycho. The astronomer was already grinning widely. It was far more positive emotion than ey'd seen on his face to date, and ey couldn't imagine any other answer than what came next.
+
+``\emph{Anem!} Of course I will.''