Edits, finished majority of Idumea

motes-played/content/001.tex

@@ -282,7 +282,7 @@ Dry Grass laughed as well. ``She is already essentially the prissy HOA president
 
 ``Right, because she wants you to not talk to \emph{any} of us.''
 
-She nodded. ``She cut off the first, eighth, part of the ninth, and now the entire fifth stanza since you took on Sasha.''
+She nodded. ``She cut off the first, eighth, and part of the ninth stanzas, but also the entire fifth stanza since you still talked with Sasha.''
 
 Motes groaned and rolled onto her back, holding her paws up in the air to inspect her claws. ``Which is stupid, because Sasha is nice.''
 

motes-played/content/002.tex

@@ -130,13 +130,13 @@ She scoffed. ``Probably the second.''
 
 Sasha laughed and turned the ruffling into a noogie. ``This is not a competition, Motes,'' she chided. ``But if it were, then yes, you would win. She has cut off even A Finger Pointing.''
 
-Squeaking and laughing, the skunk sat up, pulling herself away from the knuckles grinding against her scalp. ``I thought they were on better terms, though. Ma met with her once a month, even.''
+Squeaking and laughing, the skunk sat up, pulling herself away from the knuckles grinding against her scalp. ``I thought they were on better terms, though. Ma met with her once in a while, even.''
 
-``When she found out that I had joined Au Lieu Du Rêve, Hammered silver cut all contact with the fifth, yes?''
+``When she found out what I had done, Hammered silver cut all contact with the fifth, yes?''
 
 ``Mmhm. Did that include Pointillist?''
 
-``Not at first, but certainly not long after. I think Hammered Silver is more mad with her than any of the rest of the stanza.''
+``Ohhh yes. I think Hammered Silver is more mad with her than any of the rest of the stanza.''
 
 ``God,'' Motes muttered. ``She really does sound like a total b-word.''
 
@@ -144,7 +144,7 @@ Squeaking and laughing, the skunk sat up, pulling herself away from the knuckles
 
 The smaller skunk giggled helplessly, slouching down until she was able to use Sasha's thigh as a pillow. ``Okay, but why does she hate Ma, though? She is, like\ldots the nicest person in the whole world.''
 
-``She really is, at least to us, but she is also uncompromising to her very core. She stood up for herself and Beholden as a couple, she stood up for you as you are, she stood up for your dynamic as a family--'' Sasha took a deep breath through gritted teeth. ``And she stood up for me, for which I am endlessly appreciative, and endlessly frustrated that she should have cause to.''
+``She really is, at least to us, but she is also uncompromising to her very core. She stood up for herself and Beholden as a couple, she stood up for you as you are, she stood up for your dynamic as a family--'' Sasha took a deep breath through gritted teeth. ``And she stood up for me—she always has—for which I am endlessly appreciative, and endlessly frustrated that she should have cause to.''
 
 ``So Hammered Silver is upset that Ma has principles,'' Motes said flatly. ``Okay. Got it. Good good, good good good good. Wonderful.''
 

motes-played/content/003.tex

@@ -154,7 +154,7 @@ Warmth huffed, indignant. ``But \emph{I} am the youngest! I am the babiest. That
 
 Rolling over onto her side, Motes smiled apologetically at her friend. ``I know, I am sorry. We are the little ones, right? Dry Grass even calls us that. Her little ones.''
 
-The other skunk subsided. ``I know. And I think I know what you mean, too: there is a difference between `the babiest Odist' and `Actual Kid: Motes In The Stage-Lights', yes?''
+The other skunk subsided. ``I know. And I think I know what you mean, too: there is a difference between `the babiest Odist' and `Actual Kid: Motes In The Stage-Lights', yes? Between looking small and living in little-space?''
 
 ``Mmhm. I knew it was weird and all, and a lot of people did not like it, but I am surprised to learn just how much some people hate it.''
 
@@ -212,7 +212,7 @@ It grinned, nodded.
 
 ``It is whatever. It stings sometimes, but what is there to do about it?''
 
-``Mmhm.'' She sighed, finally rolling to face her cocladist. ``I wonder if that is why they are so mean about all of this. The \emph{History} came out and they felt that and realized how much it stung, so they started lashing out. I know they got mad at me before then, too, but it got way worse after that and after we took on Sasha.''
+``Mmhm.'' She sighed, finally rolling to face her cocladist. ``I wonder if that is why they are so mean about all of this. The \emph{History} came out and they felt that and realized how much it stung, so they started lashing out. I know they got mad at me before then, too, but it got way worse after that and after True Name became Sasha.''
 
 Warmth bumped eir nose against hers. ``Maybe. I do not know, Mote. Even if the timing does not work, you are probably right that they feel hurt by all that. I am sorry you were also one of their targets.''
 

motes-played/content/004.tex

@@ -218,7 +218,7 @@ Slow Hours smiled down to her. ``You know, A Finger Pointing mentioned to me tha
 
 Motes pushed herself halfway up to sitting so that she could hug around Slow Hours's middle. ``Love you too, Slowers,'' she said, then sat up the rest of the way, wiping yet more tears away. ``I have been talking about it a lot, though, yeah. I talked about it with Ma and Bee, and I talked about it with Dry Grass, and also with Sasha and Warmth. Everyone talked about how some people in the clade got all upset about it.''
 
-She nodded. ``I have heard mention of the sixth and seventh stanzas, yes, and I thought for some time that the eighth was also quite unhappy, but I believe Sasha when she says that they had not ever really engaged with it specifically.''
+She nodded. ``I have heard mention of the sixth and seventh stanzas, yes, and I thought for some time that the eighth was also quite unhappy, but I believe Sasha when she says that they never really engaged with it specifically.''
 
 ``Yeah. Dry Grass said that Hammered Silver was all sorts of upset about it, and I know In Dreams was pretty unhappy early on.''
 
@@ -266,7 +266,7 @@ She wilted, shoulders slumping. ``So I might be hearing more of this, then? From
 
 ``Yes, but what am I supposed to \emph{do?}''
 
-``Live, my dear. Grow.'' She laughed, adding quickly, ``Not up, not if you do not want, but take that knowledge, take strength in the fact that you are living intentionally as you are in spite of them, and make yourself better for it. Let it inform your growth, just do not let it define you.''
+``Live, my dear. Grow.'' She laughed, adding quickly, ``Not up, not if you do not want, but take that knowledge, take strength in the fact that you are living intentionally as you are in spite of them, and make yourself better for it. Live fiercely and let it inform your growth, just do not let it define you.''
 
 Motes nodded sullenly.
 

motes-played/content/005.tex

@@ -19,9 +19,9 @@ And We Are The Motes In The Stage-Lights,
 
 I am breaking my communication embargo to write you regarding some concerns that I have on the current state of the clade, the fifth stanza, and you in particular.
 
-As you know, the sixth and seventh stanzas, those of me and If I Am To Bathe In Dreams, have formally instituted a no-contact order with the first, eighth, and part of the ninth stanzas. As of seven years ago, the fifth stanza was added to that list due to the ongoing association with the one who has named herself Sasha.
+As you know, the sixth and seventh stanzas, those of me and If I Am To Bathe In Dreams, have formally instituted a no-contact order with the first, eighth, and part of the ninth stanzas, as well as the entirety of the fifth stanza due to the ongoing association with the one who has named herself Sasha.
 
-I do absolutely mean it when I say all of the fifth stanza. That is, we have not cut \emph{just} Time Is A Finger Pointing At Itself out of our lives, but her and all of her up-trees to however many degrees. That includes you, And We Are The Motes In The Stage-Lights.
+I do absolutely mean it when I say all of the fifth stanza. That is, we have not cut \emph{just} Time Is A Finger Pointing At Itself out of our lives for her distasteful friendship, but her and all of her up-trees to however many degrees. That includes you, And We Are The Motes In The Stage-Lights.
 
 It came to my attention some years back that I Remember The Rattle Of Dry Grass had nevertheless continued in her association with the fifth, particularly with you and with Time Is A Finger Pointing At Itself, given your unfortunate predilection. When first I noticed this, I discussed with her my feelings on the matter and made clear my request that she live up to the original agreement that there remain no contact between our stanza and yours. She, at the time, reminded me that this decision had been made unilaterally without input from the rest of the stanza, and yet agreed to uphold my request.
 
@@ -39,7 +39,7 @@ There is a very important set of reasons for this:
 \item
   The `family' dynamic that you live within inside the fifth stanza. Treating Time Is A Finger Pointing At Itself and Beholden To The Heat Of The Lamps as your `mothers', as well as your other cocladists as your siblings, is beyond a mere dalliance, but a tainting of reputations outside merely your own; it is a way of dragging others into a behavior that has a very real impact on how they—and, by extension, the rest of the clade—are perceived.
 \item
-  The inclusion of the one who has named herself Sasha in not just the daily workings of Au Lieu Du Rêve but the social dealings of the fifth stanza. If I Am To Bathe In Dreams and I hold no jurisdiction over the fifth stanza, but we do hold control over our interactions with each other, and we have made our stance abundantly clear on the one who has named herself Sasha and how she has affected the reputation of the Ode clade.
+  The friendship between Time Is A Finger Pointing At Itself and the one who has named herself Sasha and her inclusion in not just the daily workings of Au Lieu Du Rêve but the social dealings of the fifth stanza. If I Am To Bathe In Dreams and I hold no jurisdiction over the fifth stanza, but we do hold control over our interactions with each other, and we have made our stance abundantly clear on the one who has named herself Sasha and how she has affected the reputation of the Ode clade.
 \item
   The involvement of I Remember The Rattle Of Dry Grass counter to my requests laid out for the entirety of my stanza. This goes beyond her disregard of the no-contact order and into her willing participation in the actions of the fifth stanza in general and engagement with you specifically: these no-contact orders are expected to be upheld by \emph{both} parties. Yes, this is complicated by the individual nature of a cladist, and yet the request has been made, and plainly. For a member of a stanza to so flagrantly disregard a request and for that to be enabled by the other party leaves me feeling personally slighted.
 \end{enumerate}

motes-played/content/007.tex

@@ -102,7 +102,7 @@ A Finger Pointing gritted her teeth, counting silently to ten. ``That she weapon
 
 Dry Grass snorted. ``She is an Odist; of course it is not. I am only sorry that I tuned her out for so many years, or I might have a better idea of precisely what, though.''
 
-``She is an Odist, yes,'' Sasha said. ``She is not a bad person, but neither is she good, and now we are seeing the wickedness of which we are all capable in particular. Similarly, though, I do not have an answer for you. She has been inaccessible to me for sixteen years now, and before that, I was too distracted to spend much time engaging with her.''
+``She is an Odist, yes,'' Sasha said. ``She is not a bad person, but neither is she by necessity good, and now we are seeing the wickedness of which we are all capable in particular. Similarly, though, I do not have an answer for you. She has been inaccessible to me for sixteen years now, and before that, I was too distracted to spend much time engaging with her.''
 
 A Finger Pointing sighed, slouching back against the chair. ``That is okay, my dear. You have had no easier a time of it than the rest of us. Decidedly worse, actually.''
 
@@ -324,7 +324,7 @@ But at some point, even the closest of friendships find a point of irreconcilabl
 
 Theirs was not the closest of friendships.
 
-One day, sometime late in the 2100s or early 2200s, sometime around systime 100, there was a point where the tenor of these meetings once more changed. Once more, there was a distance, a stiffness, and when pressed, once more nothing came from it.
+One day, sometime some few years into the 2200s, sometime around systime 100, there was a point where the tenor of these meetings once more changed. Once more, there was a distance, a stiffness, and when pressed, once more nothing came from it.
 
 No letter came.
 
@@ -382,7 +382,7 @@ In the end, Hammered Silver let out a frustrated sigh and said, ``We may continu
 
 She blinked, taken aback. They had ever spoken of any and all things without holding aught back. At least, so far as she knew. ``At all?'' she asked.
 
-``At all,'' Hammered Silver confirmed. ``For now.''
+``At all,'' Hammered Silver confirmed. ``For now. We may revisit the topic in a year.''
 
 A~Finger Pointing nodded stiffly, agreed, and scheduled the next lunch date.
 
@@ -438,6 +438,8 @@ There was still soreness, of course. There was soreness that A Finger Pointing a
 
 And so it remained largely at home, at home with the three of them and at home in the neighborhood that was slowly building up around them. It remained a secret, but, like A Finger Pointing and Beholden's relationship, it remained an open one. The quiet of the secret allowed them live to their fullest, and the openness allowed them to share joy where they felt safe doing so.
 
+Six months later: another letter. Another statement of distaste, and with it, a firm boundary. There was to be no further discussion of And We Are The Motes In The Stage-Lights from thence forth. Period.
+
 \secdiv
 
 ``I am tired, Beholden.''
@@ -486,9 +488,9 @@ It was an expectation of herself and others. It was a standard to which she and
 
 And thus it was an expectation one might fall short of. It was a standard one might not reach. It was a trust that could be breached.
 
-At some point in the past—there were so many admonitions against joy that she could choose from!—A Finger Pointing's friendship with Hammered Silver came to an end. The most visible of these was perhaps when Sasha joined Au Lieu Du Rêve as stage manager in systime 231, five years after she had become Sasha. That was when Hammered Silver had moved beyond cutting off Sasha herself and the entirety of the eighth stanza for their politicking, the first for their spying, and part of the ninth for their mere association, and had included the entirety of the fifth stanza.
+At some point in the past—there were so many admonitions against joy that she could choose from!—A Finger Pointing's friendship with Hammered Silver came to an end. The most visible of these was perhaps when Sasha became which she was, back when True Name had been all but assassinated, back when she had no choice but to change her very identity and become something new, something more. That was when Hammered Silver had, spurred by In Dreams, taken the drastic measure of cutting off not just Sasha herself, but the entirety of the eighth stanza for their politicking, the first for their spying, and part of the ninth for some mere association. All of those, yes, as well as the entirety of the fifth stanza for, as she had said in as many words, their perfidy.
 
-For the rest of the fifth stanza also bore this expectation, this standard, this trust that there was within all people something worth friendship, some kernel of joy, and none of them shunned Sasha, either.
+For the rest of the fifth stanza also bore this expectation, this standard, this trust that there was within all people something worth friendship, some kernel of joy, and none of them shunned Sasha, either. They were all precisely as guilty as the rest of the eighth stanza for their support.
 
 Cutting contact is one hell of a way to end a friendship, yes?
 
@@ -498,7 +500,7 @@ At some point back in the early 2100s, Motes had begun exploring this role of th
 
 At some point back in the late 2100s, Motes had begun exploring this form of childhood—no one's child in particular, sure, and everyone's, but a being built entirely out of play. A note arrived.
 
-And at some point back in the mid 2200s, Motes had begun exploring the concept of family. She moved in with A Finger Pointing and Beholden, and the longer she stayed, the more she fell in love with them as her guardians and the more they fell in love with her as their charge.
+And at some point back in the late 2200s, Motes had begun exploring the concept of family. She moved in with A Finger Pointing and Beholden, and the longer she stayed, the more she fell in love with them as her guardians and the more they fell in love with her as their charge.
 
 For this was true of all of her up-trees, and for much of Au Lieu Du Rêve besides. Going years back, back even to the late 2100s, this reveling in play that Motes brought to the fifth stanza had built in A Finger Pointing a sense of her place in the order: her role was a maternal one. A reveling in care, in the type of friendship that flowered in a particular dynamic.
 
@@ -520,7 +522,7 @@ She proved their fears accurate, in her own unkind way.
 
 And so, at that point, their friendship ended. They went a year without meeting, and when next they scheduled a coffee date, they spoke hardly at all. They made their goodbyes wordless. The next meeting was similarly silent.
 
-There was no more love between them. The trust had been broken. They met to keep tabs on each other. They met to ensure that the other was not living outside the bounds of society in some abhorrent way. They met to spy on each other.
+There was no more love between them. The trust had been broken. They met perhaps once a year to keep tabs on each other. They met to ensure that the other was not living outside the bounds of society in some abhorrent way. They met to spy on each other.
 
 That was the time their friendship died, the moment A Finger Pointing received that letter, the one that she tore up and burned to ash, cried over and then, determined, used the paint of which to spell out renewed love for those who remained in her life.