Marsh, minor edits

marsh/content/001.tex

@@ -6,9 +6,9 @@ I laughed and bumped my shoulder against Hanne's. ``A sales pitch?''
 
 ``You're a nerd. You realize that, right?''
 
-``Tell me why I should be a nerd in the year 275. Next year we can decide on 276.``
+``Tell me why I should be a nerd in the year 275. Next year we can decide on systime 276.``
 
-I scuffed my heel against the pavement of the street. New Year's Eve, and everyone was still inside. Bars: full. Restaurants: packed. There were a few scattered couples or groups around, but they were all walking with purpose. Champagne called. Canapes. Crudites.
+I scuffed my heel against the pavement of the street. New Year's Eve, and everyone was still inside. Bars: full. Restaurants: packed. There were a few scattered couples or groups around, but they were all walking with purpose. Champagne called. Canapes. Crudités.
 
 And there we were, Reed and Hanne, arm in arm, strolling leisurely down the street, heedless of the passersby, to celebrate the last day of 2399, systime 275+365. Many, still lingering on the calendar still used phys-side, were doubtlessly partying extra-hard to celebrate the turn of a century.
 
@@ -16,11 +16,11 @@ And there we were, Reed and Hanne, arm in arm, strolling leisurely down the stre
 
 ``How about comfort?''
 
-``Oh, very comfortable. Cushy, even,'' I said, poking myself in the belly.
+``Oh, very comfortable. Cushy, even,'' I said, poking her gently in the belly.
 
-Hanne laughed. ``Cute. How about the exterior?''
+Hanne laughed, covering her stomach with her hand. ``Cute. How about the exterior?''
 
-``No clue. It's been a long, long time since I've had any reason to pay attention to the world outside. I imagine it looks just as confusing as it anyways has.''
+``No clue. It's been a long, long time since I've had any reason to pay attention to the world outside. I imagine it looks just as confusing as it always has.''
 
 ``Well, okay, fair enough. You've been here longer than I have.''
 
@@ -62,7 +62,7 @@ We walked in silence for a few minutes. I tallied the occupants of the various r
 
 Hanne nodded. ``What was Earth like? What was your life like?''
 
-I shrugged. ``Fine, I guess. The Western Fed was swinging conservative again, it was hot as hell all the time, most places were starting to subsidize uploading despite an already declining population. I guess that makes it sound terrible, and maybe it would have gotten worse, but I wasn't around to see it. We were doing alright, so maybe I was kind of sheltered.''
+I shrugged. ``Fine, I guess. The Western Fed was swinging conservative again, it was hot as hell all the time, some places were arguing about upload subsidies leading to a rising birthratesome. I guess that makes it sound terrible, and maybe it would have gotten worse, but I wasn't around to see it. We were doing alright, so maybe I was kind of sheltered.''
 
 ``I hear you on the hot as hell part. We couldn't afford moving south when it got too bad, so we moved up into the mountains. It helped a little bit, at least.''
 
@@ -70,7 +70,7 @@ I shrugged. ``Fine, I guess. The Western Fed was swinging conservative again, it
 
 ``2320 something. I don't remember. I think I was under ten, at least.''
 
-I nodded. ``I guess that's what I mean by sheltered. We were already up in Newfoundland. Summers sucked, winters sucked, but it was alright between them. It was worse when we lived in New York.''
+I nodded. ``I guess that's what I mean by sheltered. We were already up in Newfoundland. Summers sucked, winters sucked, but it was alright between them. It was worse when I lived in New York.''
 
 ``Autumn or spring?''
 
@@ -102,7 +102,7 @@ I laughed. ``So many questions tonight.''
 
 She grinned, shrugged.
 
-``Well, I think half of it was that there was just too much pressure at the time. Like I said, the WF was swinging conservative, so there was this push to assimilate, and we internalized that pretty hard. We felt pushed to just shut up and be a man, just disappear, and always felt that we fell short despite all we did to try, but on Lagrange, we could do that right off the bat.''
+``Well, I think half of it was that there was just too much pressure at the time. Like I said, the WF was swinging conservative, so there was this push to assimilate, and we internalized that pretty hard. We felt pushed to just shut up and be a man, just disappear --- that or become a woman, have kids, let the first upload for the payout --- and always felt that we fell short despite all we did to try, but on Lagrange, we could do that right off the bat.''
 
 ``So they went back to being trans--''
 
@@ -118,7 +118,7 @@ The shadow of her shoulders relaxed again in the dark of the night. ``Even after
 
 ``Is that why you forked, too?''
 
-I grinned. ``I forked for fun. Even if it's still a tender spot, I think I'm still way more relaxed than they are. There may be a bit of that in Tule, I guess. He's still pretty happy being a guy — he's the only one out of all of us, come to think of it. Rush is as ve is of vis own choice, though.''
+I grinned. ``I forked for fun. Even if it's still a tender spot, I think I'm still way more relaxed than Marsh is, though it's been a while since we talked. There may be a bit of that in Tule, I guess. He's still pretty happy being a guy --- he's the only one out of all of us, come to think of it. Rush is as ve is of vis own choice, though.''
 
 Hanne looped her arm through mine. ``Well, I still like you as you are.''