Notes, some edits

content/notes.md

@@ -2,6 +2,10 @@
 title: Notes
 ---
 
+How do I explain such a page of notes? How do I tell you, beloved readers, that, the more I write, the more feverish my pace, the greater the pull of my graphomania upon my wrist, the more words flow through me *period?* Words that are my own. Words that are nonsense. Words that are, yes, the words of others. It yanks and tugs on my wrist, its other hand — paw? — lingering so sweetly on my neck, drawing lazy fingers across as though to bleed me dry of ink, and from out of me spills my words and also the words that have ever made me what I am.
+
+Here, then, are the references as I remember them. I will apologize no further.
+
 ## Epigraph
 
 #### *But you are eternity and you are the mirror.*
@@ -64,6 +68,19 @@ From Rilke:
 > and I still don't know: am I a falcon,\
 > a storm, or a great song?
 
+#### [...] dance unblushing [...]
+
+Cf. Darius Halley:
+
+> We turn to dust\
+> Get swept away\
+> To make room for\
+> Empty nothing\
+> Amble through the\
+> Air and find a\
+> Ray of light and\
+> Dance unblushing
+
 ## Part 4
 
 #### \[...\] *as the poet says, shared* \[...\]
@@ -130,6 +147,19 @@ Cf. Slow Hours:
 > Incontestible,\
 > Unmoving and always changing.
 
+#### It was a land of long, rolling hills and yet longer flat basins that always drank most thirstily from the seasonal storms that did their best to thrash the Earth below.
+
+Cf. Dwale:
+
+> The seasonal storms have poured upon the grassy flat,\
+> The leafless stalks abound like thirsty mouths.\
+> Puddles form and soon are swarmed with little fish,\
+> And all the arid life has fled despair.
+
+I will admit, my friends, that I had considered penning in the rest of this poem of Dwale's, for it is replete with references joyful and otherwise — "Within her womb there grows a golden bloom": you can see the association with dandelions, yes? Those flowers we are helplessly taken with? — but it is raw, far too raw, to be thinking about the death of winter and the growth implicit in spring when this story I have told ends as it does.
+
+And I am raw, far too raw, to tell it.
+
 ## Part 5
 
 #### On The Child's paintings
@@ -424,7 +454,7 @@ Cf. Slow Hours:
 
 #### Idumea
 
-*Idumea* is named after a hymn by A. Davidson with words by Charles Wesley, published in *Sacred Tunes and Hymns: Containing a Special Collection of a Very High Order of Standard Sacred Tunes and Hymns Novel and Newly Arranged* by J. S. James in 1913. Idumea itself refers to Edom, a kingdom in the Ancient Near East. While this has little to do with the story told within, it does sound rather pleasing to the ear, does it not? And so does the hymn, at that. The hollowness of the song with all its open fifths, the raw, coarse beauty that comes with Sacred Harp singing, the beat of the tactus and the ache of the singers hollering out words that nearly yearn for death are what led to the title of this book.
+*Idumea* is named after a hymn by A. Davidson with words by Charles Wesley, published in *Sacred Tunes and Hymns: Containing a Special Collection of a Very High Order of Standard Sacred Tunes and Hymns Novel and Newly Arranged* by J. S. James in 1913. Idumea itself refers to Edom, a kingdom in the Ancient Near East. While this has little to do with the story told within — unless, perhaps, you are Blake and think that "Now is the dominion of Edom, and the return of Adam into Paradise" refers to us! — it does sound rather pleasing to the ear, does it not? And so does the hymn, at that. The hollowness of the song with all its open fifths, the raw, coarse beauty that comes with Sacred Harp singing, the beat of the tactus and the ache of the singers hollering out words that nearly yearn for death are what led to the title of this book.
 
 Or, as a friend said upon learning of this project, ""Main character escaping suffering while the narrator stays stuck in it" is somewhat analogous to living singers singing songs almost exclusively about how great it will be to die and escape from suffering" — which, as a quote, is quite painful to go back and read for your humble narrator, as I am sure you can imagine.
 

content/prelim/005.md

@@ -216,7 +216,7 @@ She nodded. "Yes. My thoughts became ordered, perhaps. That turbulence became a
 
 I laughed as well. "Thank you, I think. I have a few that are labeled 'meditations on whatever', but even those probably do not fit the bill."
 
-"I would assume not. No, I came to you because I wanted to talk to you about creating specifically not just on Praiseworthy's suggestion, but also because I watched And We Are The Motes In The Stage-Lights paint while visiting Beholden."
+"I would assume not. No, I came to you because I wanted to talk to you specifically about creating not just on Praiseworthy's suggestion, but also because I watched And We Are The Motes In The Stage-Lights paint while visiting Beholden."
 
 "Ah! Motes! What a delight!"
 
@@ -232,7 +232,7 @@ I laughed, nodding.
 
 "I will say that she is no less flighty or energetic when she chooses to live at older ages. When she is, say, twenty five, there is still no stopping her."
 
-"So I am told. However, she is also a very good girl, is she not? Beholden saw the state that I was in — for when Motes started zipping around the house, I started shifting between forms — and suggested that she go and paint. She said quite simply "Okay!" and ran off to the next room where she simply sat on a stool and began painting."
+"So I am told. However, she is also a very good girl, is she not? Beholden saw the state that I was in — for when Motes started zipping around the house, I started shifting between forms — and suggested that she go and paint. She said quite simply "Okay!" and ran off to the next room where she sat on a stool and began painting."
 
 I looked up to the wall beside the couch, upon which a painting sat. The Woman smiled and nodded.
 
@@ -244,13 +244,13 @@ And so there on my wall sat a painting that I had asked The Child to make, small
 
 And there, right in the center, hovering a scant claw-width above the house, a perfectly black perfect square.
 
-Readers, you must understand that, when I say perfectly black, I do mean it! There is this color, or non-color, *Eigengrau* that is perhaps the darkest you are used to seeing. If you are in a perfectly dark room, or you are out beneath the stars at night and you close your eyes, or you are hiding under two layers of blankets from the monsters that haunt us still, even in this afterlife that we have built up into our nigh-perfection, what you see is not pure black, but *Eigengrau.* It is the darkest color, I am told, that our eyes can see, phys-side! This is because, even when there is no light, the nerves of our eyes still fire occasionally. Perhaps it is because this is something that is required for nerve cells to feel healthy, and when those cells are in our muscles and it is just one or two at a time, it does not yank our hand away from our pen and paper like they were burning hot, but when they are in our eyes, every little firing is still perceived as a photon hitting this rod or that cone. Perhaps it is because there is some fundamental state of being for us that is *not* stillness, but that is movement at some molecular level. Perhaps it is simply because they are lonely! I do not know, I do not know. I do not know.
+Readers, you must understand that, when I say perfectly black, I do mean it! There is this color — or non-color — *Eigengrau* that is perhaps the darkest you are used to seeing. If you are in a perfectly dark room, or you are out beneath the stars at night and you close your eyes, or you are hiding under two layers of blankets from the monsters that haunt us still, even in this afterlife that we have built up into our nigh-perfection, what you see is not pure black, but *Eigengrau.* It is the darkest color, I am told, that our eyes can see, phys-side! This is because, even when there is no light, the nerves of our eyes still fire occasionally. Perhaps it is because this is something that is required for nerve cells to feel healthy, and when those cells are in our muscles and it is just one or two at a time, it does not yank our hand away from our pen and paper like they were burning hot, but when they are in our eyes, every little firing is still perceived as a photon hitting this rod or that cone. Perhaps it is because there is some fundamental state of being for us that is *not* stillness, but that is movement at some molecular level. Perhaps it is simply because they are lonely! I do not know, I do not know. I do not know.
 
 This square is not *Eigengrau.* It is beyond that. It is beyond even black! It is an impossible black. It is deeper than *Eigengrau,* yes, but it is also a very thirsty black. If the ground of The Instance Artist's prairie drinks thirstily of the sky, so too does this black drink thirstily of all the light in the world. It draws light from the room, and when you look at the painting, the world seems dimmer. It is a hole in the world.
 
 I am used to it, my friends, for it sits happily enough upon my wall, but I am told that it is unnerving to see.
 
-"Her paintings have always struck me as bearing a sort of serenity that I have not actually seen in the world," I said after we had appreciated house and plain and sky and hole in the world. "It is more than just some moment of movement captured and frozen in time. It is like she records things that were never still to begin with."
+"Her paintings have always struck me as bearing a sort of serenity that I have not actually seen in the world," I said after we had appreciated house and plain and sky and hole in the world. "It is more than just some moment of movement captured and frozen in time. It is like she records things that had never been anything but still to begin with."
 
 "Yes, and that is what drew me to her," The Woman said, gaze lingering on the painting. "I begged Beholden's leave to sit and watch Motes for nearly an hour. I claimed a spot in her studio once I received permission and watched as she worked. While I was there, she built up a scene of a mesa. I recognized it as Table Mountain. Do you remember?"
 

static/bees.svg

@@ -2,11 +2,18 @@
 <!-- Created with Inkscape (http://www.inkscape.org/) -->
 
 <svg
-   width="109.95077mm"
+   width="105.95077mm"
-   height="107.94086mm"
+   height="103.94086mm"
-   viewBox="0 0 109.95077 107.94087"
+   viewBox="0 0 105.95077 103.94086"
    version="1.1"
    id="svg64023"
+   inkscape:version="1.2.2 (b0a8486541, 2022-12-01)"
+   sodipodi:docname="bees.svg"
+   inkscape:export-filename="bees.png"
+   inkscape:export-xdpi="300.06378"
+   inkscape:export-ydpi="300.06378"
+   xmlns:inkscape="http://www.inkscape.org/namespaces/inkscape"
+   xmlns:sodipodi="http://sodipodi.sourceforge.net/DTD/sodipodi-0.dtd"
    xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"
    xmlns:svg="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"
    xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#"
@@ -14,11 +21,52 @@
    xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/">
   <title
      id="title967">bees - a poem by Slow Hours</title>
+  <sodipodi:namedview
+     id="namedview64025"
+     pagecolor="#ffffff"
+     bordercolor="#666666"
+     borderopacity="1.0"
+     inkscape:pageshadow="2"
+     inkscape:pageopacity="0.0"
+     inkscape:pagecheckerboard="0"
+     inkscape:document-units="mm"
+     showgrid="false"
+     fit-margin-top="2"
+     fit-margin-left="2"
+     fit-margin-right="2"
+     fit-margin-bottom="2"
+     inkscape:zoom="1.5328684"
+     inkscape:cx="63.280059"
+     inkscape:cy="174.18325"
+     inkscape:window-width="1916"
+     inkscape:window-height="1018"
+     inkscape:window-x="0"
+     inkscape:window-y="62"
+     inkscape:window-maximized="1"
+     inkscape:current-layer="layer1"
+     inkscape:showpageshadow="2"
+     inkscape:deskcolor="#d1d1d1"
+     showguides="true" />
   <defs
-     id="defs64020" />
+     id="defs64020">
+    <rect
+       x="0.34203434"
+       y="409.20435"
+       width="414.35394"
+       height="570.3407"
+       id="rect254" />
+    <rect
+       x="0.32552919"
+       y="409.13269"
+       width="415.24014"
+       height="31.596535"
+       id="rect194" />
+  </defs>
   <g
+     inkscape:label="Layer 1"
+     inkscape:groupmode="layer"
      id="layer1"
-     transform="translate(-18.071409,-54.783646)">
+     transform="translate(-20.071409,-56.783646)">
     <text
        xml:space="preserve"
        style="font-size:4.23333px;line-height:1.25;font-family:Alegreya;-inkscape-font-specification:Alegreya;stroke-width:0.264583"
@@ -26,18 +74,22 @@
        y="7.6082206"
        id="text65518"
        transform="rotate(30)"><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          id="tspan65516"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="118.46004"
          y="7.6082206">bees are those</tspan><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="118.46004"
          y="12.914658"
          id="tspan65520">who give us sweet</tspan><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="118.46004"
          y="18.221094"
          id="tspan65522">in exchange for</tspan><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="118.46004"
          y="23.527531"
@@ -49,18 +101,22 @@
        y="-107.22199"
        id="text67496"
        transform="rotate(-150)"><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          id="tspan67494"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="-116.85082"
          y="-107.22199">is it any wonder</tspan><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="-116.85082"
          y="-101.91556"
          id="tspan67498">then</tspan><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="-116.85082"
          y="-96.609116"
          id="tspan67500">that honey</tspan><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="-116.85082"
          y="-91.302681"
@@ -72,18 +128,22 @@
        y="23.275345"
        id="text77346"
        transform="rotate(-90)"><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          id="tspan77344"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="-107.02618"
          y="23.275345">we may marvel</tspan><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="-107.02618"
          y="28.581781"
          id="tspan77348">at how unbitter</tspan><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="-107.02618"
          y="33.888218"
          id="tspan77350">distilled names</tspan><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="-107.02618"
          y="39.194656"
@@ -95,18 +155,22 @@
        y="79.980873"
        id="text80062"
        transform="matrix(0.87081288,-0.49725115,0.50276405,0.86126425,0,0)"><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          id="tspan80060"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.266046"
          x="6.9274559"
          y="79.980873">and still weep</tspan><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.266046"
          x="6.9274564"
          y="85.316643"
          id="tspan80064">at parching-sweet</tspan><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.266046"
          x="6.9274564"
          y="90.652412"
          id="tspan80066">memory</tspan><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.266046"
          x="6.9274564"
          y="95.988182"
@@ -118,18 +182,22 @@
        y="-122.81824"
        id="text86396"
        transform="rotate(90)"><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          id="tspan86394"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="108.8297"
          y="-122.81824">we whisper</tspan><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="108.8297"
          y="-117.5118"
          id="tspan86398">to their hives</tspan><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="108.8297"
          y="-112.20536"
          id="tspan86400">then wait a season</tspan><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="108.8297"
          y="-106.89893"
@@ -141,22 +209,42 @@
        y="-180.53712"
        id="text87528"
        transform="rotate(150)"><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          id="tspan87526"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="-9.4306927"
          y="-180.53712">licking it</tspan><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="-9.4306936"
          y="-175.23068"
          id="tspan87530">from sticky fingers</tspan><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="-9.4306927"
          y="-169.92426"
          id="tspan87532">when we steal</tspan><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
          style="font-style:normal;font-variant:normal;font-weight:normal;font-stretch:normal;font-family:'Gentium Book Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Book Plus';text-align:center;text-anchor:middle;stroke-width:0.264583"
          x="-9.4306927"
          y="-164.61781"
          id="tspan87786">a taste</tspan></text>
+    <text
+       xml:space="preserve"
+       transform="matrix(0.26458333,0,0,0.26458333,18.134213,54.866624)"
+       id="text192"
+       style="font-size:16px;line-height:1.25;font-family:'Gentium Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Plus';text-align:center;white-space:pre;shape-inside:url(#rect194);display:inline" />
+    <text
+       xml:space="preserve"
+       style="font-size:6.35px;line-height:1.25;font-family:'Gentium Plus';-inkscape-font-specification:'Gentium Plus';stroke-width:0.264583"
+       x="74.051147"
+       y="164.93105"
+       id="text250"><tspan
+         sodipodi:role="line"
+         id="tspan248"
+         style="stroke-width:0.264583"
+         x="74.051147"
+         y="164.93105" /></text>
   </g>
   <metadata
      id="metadata965">