## A Finger Pointing — 2382

What a treat to wake up to, my muse. Our Dot has ever oscillated between *Big* and *Little,* and every spot in between, but I had never considered that she might play out this process of growing older.

I had certainly never considered her as a *teenager.*

Will I, one frustrated evening, say some terrible thing of her to you? Will you look at me with that deadly pained gaze of yours? The one that makes my heart ache? Will you look to me in shock and hurt and ask, "Why would you say such a thing? She is just a kid!"

And when she brings home some pretty person for dinner and I catch them snogging it up in her bedroom, will I scowl? Will I bring them cookies or chips or some other snack, pretending I have seen nothing? Will I make a point of creaking that floorboard as I pass by her door, if only to give them the thrill of being caught?

Will I, when she is leaving for a date, cross my arms and give her new datefriend a stern gaze from the door?

What will you and I say when she is old enough to begin experimenting with her body? Will we say that she is too young, that she must wait until she is an adult? Will we give her rules? "No boys overnight!" What of Alexei, her childhood friend? What of the girls? She is no stranger to their lips, their fingers, yes? And the enbies? God knows the Bălans worked their charm on us well enough, yes? Is she never to have a friend stay over from ages 12 through 18? Six years of isolation because we are not ready for her to start learning about her own body on her own terms with people her own age?

Or will we shrug and laugh quietly to one another? "That girl has a century of inhibition to work out! Let her do as girls must do at such an age." Will we make excuses to be out of the house for dates of our own? Will we tell her we will not return until dawn? Might I give her a silent wink and a gesture reminding her to at least wrap up if she is going to fool around?

She is an Odist, after all. She is going to fool around. The question is whether she will feel safe talking to us about it afterward.

Whether she will feel safe talking to us about it when it goes terribly wrong.

God, I *really* hope she stays seven forever. I cannot bear the thought of our Dot leaving the nest. I could cry just thinking about it.

