Update draft

content/draft/003.md

@@ -36,7 +36,7 @@ She picked up the speed into an all out sprint. Her pursuer darted off at sharp
 
 "Oh! Oh oh oh!" came a voice from out the trees and her prey skidded to a halt, quickly reversing direction and racing toward her instead.
 
-*A game of chicken, then!* she thought, grinning fiercely.
+*A game of chicken, then,* she thought, grinning fiercely.
 
 The two ran directly at each other, weaving slightly to make their way around the occasional tree.
 
@@ -48,19 +48,19 @@ Motes galloped after her, giggling.
 
 A few more rounds of leapfrog — repeated a dozen times over with a dozen different instances — and both Motes and Warmth collapsed in the clearing in the woods, panting and laughing. They shoved at each other for a few seconds, rolling about in the grass and wildflowers before sprawling out on their backs, looking up into the cloud-dotted sky.
 
-"You know," Warmth said reaching over to poke Motes in the belly. "If you were not such a fatty, you could probably outrun me!"
+"You know," Warmth said reaching over to poke Motes in the belly. "If you were not such a fatty, you could probably outrun me."
 
-"But I like being a fatty!" Motes countered. "If you were not such a string bean, you...you would...uh...."
+"But I like being a fatty," Motes countered. "If you were not such a string bean, you...you would...uh...."
 
-"Uh huh?" the other skunk prompted, grinning. "What would I do, my dear? Pray tell!"
+"Uh huh?" the other skunk prompted, grinning. "What would I do, my dear? Pray tell~"
 
 Motes laughed and tore up a pawful of grass, tossing it ineffectually at her cocladist, who merely returned the gesture.
 
-Which Offers Heat And Warmth In Fire was a skunk like her, small like her, but had wound up wiry and lithe, perpetually untameable fur stained here and there with green or yellow as if ey had been caught rolling in the grass and dandelions and run off before bothering to wash. It was her friend of friends, a superlative acquaintance that had led to a bond unbreakable.
+Which Offers Heat And Warmth In Fire was a skunk like her, small like her, but had wound up wiry and lithe, perpetually untameable fur stained here and there with green or yellow as if ey had been caught rolling in the grass and dandelions and run off before bothering to wash. A being of indeterminate gender and unsettled pronouns, it was her friend of friends, a superlative acquaintance that had led to a bond unbreakable.
 
 They elbow-crawled over to drape unceremoniously over Motes's front, sighing now that it had caught eir breath. "You are a nerd," they said. "But I guess I like you all the same."
 
-"Pff, call me a nerd," Motes scoffed, petting Warmth's fur up backwards to muss it all the more. "At least I am a cute nerd!"
+"Pff, call me a nerd," Motes scoffed, petting Warmth's fur up backwards to muss it all the more. "At least I am a cute nerd."
 
 "You are that," the other skunk admitted. "So am I, mind. Probably cuter than you."
 
@@ -74,9 +74,9 @@ It giggled and pushed its paws up over her face. "Motes Motes Motes! Look at you
 
 "A little," she admitted. "Sort of like 'kinda' or 'gonna'."
 
-"Weirdo," ey stated plainly. "Do you mean what am I doing right now? Because I am using your fat belly as literally the worst pillow."
+"Weirdo," ey stated plainly. "Do you mean what am I doing right now? Because I am using your fat belly as *literally* the worst pillow."
 
-"You could get off me any time now!"
+"You could get off of me at *literally* any time."
 
 "Absolutely not."
 
@@ -94,7 +94,7 @@ Motes nodded. "Tell me about that, then. I do not want mopey Warmth."
 
 "All of the Bălans are nerds," Motes said. "Did you write back to tell em that?"
 
-"Mmhm! I accused em of going back to being a weirdo historian."
+"Mmhm, I accused em of going back to being a weirdo historian."
 
 "Good!"
 
@@ -102,27 +102,29 @@ Ey giggled. "But! Do you want to taste a *frahabrodåt?*"
 
 "What the frick is a *frahabrodåt?*"
 
-As it spoke, ey dreamed up a shallow bowl. "No fucking clue! It apparently means 'fluffy tower'." This began to take shape. It seemed to be a lattice of fine bubbles in pale, sea-foam green. "I have only tried a few of the recipes ey sent, but this one at least gave me some good ideas." The foam began to congeal into a firmer structure that looked to have been shaped by some sort of fork into a square-ish tower. "I do not know if I would call it *good,* but I am guessing by a text description of something an alien showed a non-chef on a System that is not theirs." At last, the tower seemed to be complete, though over the next few seconds it was pocked with a few pips of what seemed to be some similarly pale-green fruit. "Here!"
+As it spoke, ey dreamed up a shallow bowl. "No fucking clue! It apparently means 'fluffy tower'." This began to take shape. It seemed to be a lattice of fine bubbles in pale, sea-foam green. "I have only tried a few of the recipes ey sent, but this one at least gave me some good ideas." The foam began to congeal into a firmer structure that looked to have been shaped by some sort of fork into a square-ish tower. "I do not know if I would call it *good,* but I am guessing by a text description of something an alien showed a non-chef on a System that is not theirs." At last, the tower seemed to be complete, though over the next few seconds it was pocked with a few pips of what seemed to be some similarly pale-green fruit. "Here."
 
 Motes leaned forward and squinted at the dish, sniffing. It smelled like precious little.
 
-"I have not gotten to adding the scent yet," Warmth explained. "That is one area where Codrin did not give much detail."
+"I have not gotten around to adding the scent yet," Warmth explained. "That is one area where Codrin did not give much detail."
 
 "Well, okay," she said, doubtful. She dreamed up a spoon and poked at the...foam? Froth? It was surprisingly sturdy, and although it wobbled, it did not fall over under the touch. 
 
-A grin was growing on the other skunk's face.
+A grin was growing on the other skunk's face. 
+
+Bad sign.
 
 Figuring there was nothing for it, she gathered up a spoonful of the fluff, complete with a few pips, said, "Onetwothree*go!*" and stuffed it into her mouth...then immediately raced to swallow it. "Mmnglhfnnf!"
 
 Warmth bust into a fit of giggles and forked several times in quick succession, the crowd of em breaking into a wild applause, complete with standing ovation and shouts of 'Bravo! Brava! Bravissimo!', before quitting.
 
-"It tastes like passion fruit and licking battery terminals at the same time!" Motes cried, bringing into being a glass of water to rinse out her muzzle.
+"It tastes like passion fruit and licking battery terminals at the same time," Motes cried, bringing into being a glass of water to rinse out her muzzle.
 
 "I know, right?" ey said dreamily. "I hate it."
 
 "So do I!" At least the water seemed to wash the taste away quickly. "Are the other ones better?"
 
-"Oh, totally!"
+"Oh, totally."
 
 Motes dipped her fingers into the glass and flicked some of the water at Warmth. "Then why the fuc– why the frick did you give me *this* one?"
 
@@ -130,7 +132,7 @@ Motes dipped her fingers into the glass and flicked some of the water at Warmth.
 
 "Yeah, well, I honestly hate it."
 
-"Mmhm! But you saying 'passion fruit' was new! Rye just said it was "sour and sweet and unpleasant" and Praiseworthy would not try it at all. Now I can compare it to passion fruit and try new things."
+"Mmhm! But you saying 'passion fruit' was new. Rye just said it was "sour and sweet and unpleasant" and Praiseworthy would not try it at all. Now I can compare it to passion fruit and try new things."
 
 "Rye is always too polite," Motes said, grinning. "But I like her."
 
@@ -142,7 +144,7 @@ Warmth dismissed the *frahabrodåt* and stretched out on their belly. "Now why d
 
 She shrugged, peeking over at the other skunk through the blades of grass and drooping columbines. "Just family stuff on the brain."
 
-"Precious little of that, my dear," ey said, gently rapping her atop the head while making a hollow clicking noise with its tongue. When Motes merely stuck out her tongue, their expression softened. "Sorry, Mote. Why family stuff? Why is that mope-inducing? Usually you love that. Sometimes you go on about 'ma and Bee this' and 'Sis Hours that' and it is *lovely.*"
+"Precious little of that, my dear," ey said, gently rapping her atop the head while making a hollow clicking noise with its tongue. When Motes merely stuck out her tongue, their expression softened. "Sorry, Mote. Why family stuff? Why is that mope-inducing? Usually you love that. Sometimes you go on about 'Ma and Bee this' and 'Sis Hours that' and it is *lovely.*"
 
 "Slow Hours used to hate it when I called her that," Motes said, smirking, then returned her gaze to the sky. "Just been lots of thinking and talk lately about how much trouble me being small causes."
 
@@ -150,7 +152,7 @@ She shrugged, peeking over at the other skunk through the blades of grass and dr
 
 "I know, but like the smallest. Like, the youngest."
 
-Warmth huffed, indignant. "But *I* am the youngest! I am the babiest! That is my whole thing, yes? I am the most recently forked, the most recently-claimed line."
+Warmth huffed, indignant. "But *I* am the youngest! I am the babiest. That is my whole thing, yes? I am the most recently forked, the most recently-claimed line."
 
 Rolling over onto her side, Motes smiled apologetically at her friend. "I know, I am sorry. We are the little ones, right? Dry Grass even calls us that. Her little ones."
 
@@ -170,13 +172,13 @@ Warmth sighed, stretching their arms in front of em. "I know she has not *actual
 
 "How do you mean?"
 
-"Well, they cut off Dear, right?" it said. "And I am rather a lot of Dear. I am Dear and Rye and Praiseworthy. I am all of my down-trees. I *like* being all of my down-trees. I am proud of it!" She grinned. "I think of all of those, they might like Rye okay, but they hate Dear, and I cannot imagine them being too into Praiseworthy after the *History* named her as the propagandist during Secession."
+"Well, they cut off Dear, right?" it said. "And I am rather a lot of Dear. I am Dear and Rye and Praiseworthy. I am all of my down-trees. I *like* being all of my down-trees. I am proud of it." She grinned. "I think of all of those, they might like Rye okay, but they hate Dear, and I cannot imagine them being too into Praiseworthy after the *History* named her as the propagandist during Secession."
 
 Motes frowned. "Wait, really?"
 
-"I mean, I have not actually talked to them, but they cut off Dear for less." Ey laughed bitterly. "But again, I am also a little one, right? We also have our family dynamic, yes? Hell, Rye and Pointillist are *plenty* chummy, if you know what I mean."
+"I mean, I have not actually talked to them, but they cut off Dear for less." Ey laughed bitterly. "But again, I am also a little one, right? I have dated a cocladist before, have I not? My stanza also has our family dynamic, yes? Hell, Rye and Pointillist are *plenty* chummy, if you know what I mean."
 
-She laughed. "They just write each other letters!"
+She laughed. "They just write each other letters."
 
 "Yeah. *Sexy* letters."