# Codrin Bălan#Artemis --- 2346

> *Convergence T-minus 1 day, 2 hours, 32 minutes*

The next note that came from Castor included a block of indecipherable text that was marked as clade-eyes-only for Turun Ka.

Codrin puzzled over this during a private minute in fast time.

Normally, clade-eyes-only or individual-eyes-only text for someone other than the recipient appeared as that header of, for instance, *Bălan Clade-Eyes-Only Material* followed by an indication that such text might be there, but nothing about its contents, including its length or composition. For em, this usually appeared as an ellipsis in square brackets, long-standing traditions of elision being what they were.

This, however, appeared to be text of the type ey'd grown used to in encrypted blocks. Letters, numbers, punctuation, all crammed into a single unbroken chunk. More, some of the characters appeared to be restless. They strained at their form, as though they desperately wanted to be something else, and when ey looked away and back, they were indeed that other form, and some other character nearby would be itching to change, instead.

Clearly, one of the delegates from Castor had instructed the Artemisians on not just how to send text back to Artemis, but how to do so in a private way. Artemis itself, however, couldn't figure out how to represent that. Perhaps that's what clade-eyes-only text might actually be in the perisystem architecture.

Ey recreated the note on a few fresh sheets of paper, eir own message on one and Turun Ka's on another, and headed back to the meeting.

"Leader Turun Ka," ey said, once they were gathered together once more. "I have received a message from your counterpart back on Castor. It is encrypted for your eyes only, though I'm not sure how well that functionality transfers between systems."

The firstracer's head remained still, leaving no clues as to its opinion of this matter, and it gracefully accepted the note that Codrin passed over. It didn't hold it up to see or bow its head to look down at it, so ey figured that as soon as it changed hands, it must have changed its form. Paper, after all, was only a symbol. Letters, words, and written language only signs.

"Thank you, recorder Codrin Bălan. The information is intact."

As ey expected, this was followed up by a blurred meeting of the Artemisian delegates in fast time.

Ey spent the time sneaking glances at True Name and Answers Will Not Help, catching Tycho and Sarah doing the same.

True Name, despite maintaining careful control of her expression, still appeared to be beyond tired. The flickers of her human form came more regularly, now, and, while her appearance as a skunk remained polite, attentive, and receptive, that human face showed only exhaustion.

Answers Will Not Help, however, was a mess.

Her form rippled between species, and with it, so too did her expression. She would veer wildly between barely constrained laughter and agony, all while tears coursed down her cheeks or left tracks in fur. She managed to keep quiet for the most part, though occasionally a snippet of poetry would escape her: here a line of the Ode, there a bit of Dickinson. She had even startled Tycho at one point by quoting something ey didn't recognize: "I have sown, like Tycho Brahe, that a greater man may reap..."

This wild dissociation from the world around her was made all the more unnerving by the fact that ey could tell that she was having a difficult time staying within common time. 

She never veered far from it, only within a range of 0.5 to either side, but even that carried with it a sense of wrongness. They were in a unison room, something that she had specifically requested, which ey'd been told meant that she specifically *shouldn't* be able to do that. Skew simply wasn't available to em when ey reached for it.

Iska had hardly taken their eyes off her since they'd noticed as well, as though they were trying to puzzle out just how it was that this was happening.

They were only two and a half days into the conference and, while both sides had learned much about the other, ey wondered if they'd even be able to make it to a week.

*Or even the end of today,* ey thought. *Answers Will Not Help looks like she's about to explode.*

"Leader True Name," Turun Ka began, once the delegates had returned to common time. "While I am not able to divulge the contents of the note I have received, it has led to a discussion amongst us, and we would like to ask about your history."

"From the founding of the System?" she asked, voice tight.

"Apologies, leader True Name. We would like to know about your history. You and your cocladist."

Her shoulders sagged. "Would you like information specifically relating to our appearance here on Artemis?"

"This is a good place to begin."

The skunk looked as though she hadn't the faintest idea of where to begin, as though too many thoughts crowded her mind for her to decide.

Codrin nodded toward her, "By your leave, True Name?"

"Please, Mx. Bălan." She sounded quite relieved.

"Prior to the founding of the System two hundred thirty-one years ago, long distance communication and interaction took place over a global network. It worked much as it does here, in that there are designated locations --- sims, a name which has stuck with us --- and we interacted through forms such as these. The origin of our System came about shortly after a brief period of political unrest wherein some political entities released a type of virus into the implanted hardware we used to connect to the 'net. Those who came across too much information relating to this unrest had the virus triggered and were trapped in a vegetative state, locked within their minds by that hardware." Ey paused and looked to True Name, who nodded. Answers Will Not Help just hugged her arms to her front, looking pale as she silently mouthed some litany ey couldn't guess. "Michelle Hadje, the root instance of the Ode clade, to which True Name and Why Ask Questions belong, was one of these individuals. The lost, they called them. Dear, my partner, is an Odist as well, and mentioned to me beforehand that a malleable sense of time sounded much like what it experienced during that period."

"You are not normally like this," Turun Ka said. A statement rather than a question. "My counterpart on Castor describes you as solely in the form you primarily occupy here, and Why Ask Questions solely in, *lu*...a human form. You are both described as calm, confident, and politically adroit."

True Name winced. "It is uncomfortable for me to be in this state. I am not up to my usual standards."

"This has led-turned-into a situation of unequality-power-dynamic," Turun Ko said, picking up where the leader had left off. "For this we express-offer concern-well-wishes-condolences."

"We are unable, at this point in the convergence, to accept other delegates, or we would offer you greater respite than we have already," Turun Ka finished.

"Thank you for your concern," the skunk said. "I understand your reasoning, and would not wish to miss these discussions. I have trust in Mx. Bălan, Dr. Brahe, and Ms. Genet, however, to share our load."

Both Turun Ka and Turun Ko lifted their heads in assent, the leader adding, "As always, we will strive to make your stay as comfortable as possible."

True Name nodded her thanks.

At a glance from Artante, the Artemisians slid up to fast time for a brief conversation before returning. "We of fourthrace experienced similar prior to the creation of our embedding system. This was the result of a war, a virus targeting a nation that led large sections of the population being affected."

"Were they able to free those who were?"

"Only approximately a quarter. Some three million of my race died from various causes while...lost."

Codrin blinked, leaning back in eir chair. "Three *million?* Good Lord..."

Artante nodded. "Of those who returned, all suffered what representative Sarah Genet has called post-traumatic stress disorder. None were affected such as you, leader True Name and representative Why Ask Questions, but many also experienced chronic episodes of psychosis combined with logorrhea, glossolalia, and graphomania, if I am understanding the terms properly."

Codrin's eyes darted over to Answers Will Not Help --- as, ey noticed, did the rest of the emissaries. She averted her gaze, lips still mouthing countless words. Ey hastened to catch up on the notes ey'd been taking to cover for emself.

"Did any of those affected upload? Or...embed?" True Name asked.

"Of those who did not take their own lives, all--"

"I cannot feel em!" Answers Will Not Help interrupted, nearly shouting. Tears were streaming down her face, now. "I cannot...here...b-beside whom..."

Something south of fury and north of terror tore through True Name's exhaustion and she sat bolt upright, glaring down the row of emissaries to Answers Will Not Help. "Why Ask Questions, my dear, please do try to remain present," she said, voice eerily calm, soothing.

The silence at the table was absolute. All delegates on both sides held still, and Codrin suspected that all of the emissaries from Castor were holding their breath. All had experienced the laser-focused wrath of at least one of the Odists in the weeks leading up to the conference.

Answers Will Not Help hunched her shoulders, cowed. Every ounce of control she had remaining seemed to be dedicated to keeping her crying as quiet as possible.

"Leader True Name," Artante asked, voice just as soothing. "You do not need to answer, but may I ask what just happened?"

"I will not answer, representative Artante Diria," she said, voice once more slipping into exhaustion as a wave of human form washed over her features. "It is a private matter between me and my cocladist. My apologies."

The fourthracer bowed her head. "I understand. Would you like to take a break?"

"Perhaps a brief break would be nice," Sarah said, nodding. "We can collect ourselves and move onto a separate aspect of the history of the System."

True Name nodded.

"Your break-respite need not be brief-short," Turun Ko said. "We are capable-of-able-to-permitted-to skew the unison room to allow for longer rests."

"No!" This time, Answers Will Not Help did shout, voice shifting slightly as she slid this way and that away from common time. "Sorry. No, please do not --- motes in the stage-lights --- please do not take time from us. No, no no no, please..."

Iska's expression had steadily grown more and more alarmed throughout the proceedings. "I do not--"

"We will reconvene in fifteen minutes common time," Turun Ka said. Nothing in its voice changed from how it normally spoke, though it having spoke was enough to quell Iska to silence. "Representative Artante Diria, representative Iska, please convene to address this issue moving forward from a psychological and technical standpoint. When we return, we will indeed move on to another subject."

Iska bowed their head in assent.

Answers Will Not Help was sobbing in earnest now, stifling it as best she can with her face hidden behind the notebook she had before her but had yet to touch.

*"I cannot feel em"? Feel who?* Codrin thought, frowning.

Ey leaned forward again to write notes on what had just happened, but before eir pen could touch paper, True Name pulled it slowly but insistently from eir hand. 

"Nothing of these happenings is to wind up in writing except that it be sent as a clade-eyes-only letter to the Odists," she said, the words softened by a shaky smile. "I would like to discuss these events with my cocladists, first."

Ey nodded numbly, accepting eir now-capped pen back.

"Now, I would like to lie down during this break. Please accompany me so that I may dictate this letter."


