Edits

content/read/009.md

@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@ And yet, for all that activity, it was incredibly quiet. There must be dozens of
 
 "What is this?" he asked the skunk standing beside him.
 
-"Headquarters." She gestured him to a couch already containing a woman, picking at her nails. Short, curly black hair framing a round face. "Though that makes it sound far more formal than it really is. It is a place for Jonas and I to work together in our various instances."
+"Headquarters." She gestured him to a couch already containing a woman, picking at her nails. Short, pale, with curly black hair framing a round face. "Though that makes it sound far more formal than it really is. It is a place for Jonas and I to work together in our various instances."
 
 He sank down into the couch beside the woman. "That sounds pretty formal to me. What are you working on that requires cubicles?"
 
@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@ Jonas nodded absently. Without any visible signal a cone of silence fell over th
 
 "I am Why Ask Questions When The Answers Will Not Help," the woman said in a tone that seemed to sit just shy of laughter. "Answers Will Not Help will do."
 
-"Answers, in a rush," Jonas said, to which she replied with an ankle kick of her own.
+"Answers, in a rush," Jonas said, to which she replied with an ankle-kick of her own.
 
 "If you call me Answers, I will beat the shit out of you," she said though that near-laugh took most of the sting out of the words.
 
@@ -94,11 +94,11 @@ Jonas nodded. "And that approach isn't all that close, is it?"
 
 Jonas did not actually wait for confirmation before Tycho was given access. Or, rather, access was forced upon him. Like a sensorium message, the text from the perisystem architecture wedged itself into his mind.
 
-> If possible, in 400 hours orient down 0.3142 radians relative to your sun reference point source of this transmission to align courses. If possible, accelerate 0.00029c to approach matched velocity. Confirm actions taken.
+> If possible, in 400 hours orient down 0.3142 radians relative to your sun reference point source of this transmission to align courses. If possible, accelerate 0.00029c to approach matched velocity. Confirm actions taken upon receipt.
 >
-> Instructions for matching consciousness-bearing system transfer mechanism to follow. Confirm actions taken upon receipt.
+> Instructions for matching consciousness-bearing system transfer mechanism to follow. Confirm actions taken.
 >
-> Prepare airgapped area with locked-down edit permissions dimensions 20m by 20m height 5m and two sandbox areas for rest for us and you dimensions 20m by 20m height 5m. Confirm actions taken.
+> Prepare airgapped area with locked-down edit permissions minimum dimensions 20m by 20m height 5m and two sandbox areas for rest for us and you dimensions 20m by 20m height 5m. Confirm actions taken.
 >
 > Prepare party of five consciousness-bearing systems containing one element of leadership, one to record in any capacity, one scientist, two representatives of own choice. Duplicate, prepare to send one set to us, and send other set to above location. Prepare to receive five in turn, similar roles. Expect four categories of consciousness-bearing systems. Confirm actions taken.
 >
@@ -112,7 +112,7 @@ Jonas did not actually wait for confirmation before Tycho was given access. Or,
 
 A long silence stretched over the group while the others waited for Tycho to digest the sudden onslaught of information.
 
-"This is," he said, took a slow breath in, then continued, "A lot."
+"This is," he said, took a slow breath in, then continued, "a lot."
 
 "Talk us through your thoughts," True Name said. "That will help you process, and you may catch something that we have not. This is your role here, Tycho Brahe."
 
@@ -144,7 +144,7 @@ He couldn't tell what expression or expressions crossed his face, but it must've
 
 "Why me, though?" he stammered. "There have to be smarter people on board! People who would love to meet aliens and know just what to ask them."
 
-The skunk across from him waved her hand to dismiss the comment. "You will be the scientist. We do not want someone who is smarter than you. We do not want someone who knows just what to ask them. We want you because you are the type of person who grants consent to join us without consulting anyone first. That and a few other factors that we have taken into account leave our decision clear."
+The skunk across from him waved her paw to dismiss the comment. "You will be the scientist. We do not want someone who is smarter than you. We do not want someone who knows just what to ask them. We want you because you are the type of person who grants consent to join us without consulting anyone first. That and a few other factors that we have taken into account leave our decision clear."
 
 "Besides," Answers Will Not Help him said, still giggling. "You will get to ask four spacefaring races astronomy questions. Does that not excite you?"
 
@@ -170,7 +170,7 @@ Tycho nodded. He felt slow, somehow. Stupid. It wasn't even that they were speak
 
 "Yes. We received the specifications for that immediately after this message. I will not bore you with their contents, but the sys-side Ansible techs assure us that it works much the same as ours and will require only software changes, nothing physical. That will be ready within a few weeks, if not sooner."
 
-He hesitated, then, seeing no possible reply that wouldn't make him sound like an idiot, continued. "Alright. Then they want us to prepare a space for them. I don't know what airgapped means, though."
+He hesitated. Then, seeing no possible reply that wouldn't make him sound like an idiot, continued. "Alright. Then they want us to prepare a space for them. I don't know what airgapped means, though."
 
 "We're assuming they mean as in a DMZ. Something completely separate from the rest of our System, which is what we were planning, anyway. It's a tech term which means that there is no physical connection between two devices, so they can't possibly communicate unless one plugs in a cable. Maybe that's what they meant?" Jonas grinned lopsidedly. "We'll just have to hope we get it right."
 
@@ -180,7 +180,7 @@ True Name and Jonas exchanged a quick glance, and the skunk, suddenly more serio
 
 He mastered the urge to shy away from her. "I just mean that, if we can't promise them that we're universally on board with having them visit us, that puts the talks at risk, right?"
 
-She leaned back on her stool, frowning, as two more instances of her forked off and dashed down the aisles to a cubicle. "This is why we are talking with you, Tycho. Thank you for proving your worth so quickly."
+She leaned back on her stool, frowning, as two more instances of her forked off and dashed down the aisles to a cubicle, followed by a fork of Jonas. "This is why we are talking with you, Tycho. Thank you for proving your worth so quickly."
 
 "This wasn't part of your calculations or whatever?"