Edits for v2

content/read/040.md

@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@ Ioan Bălan
 :    Other than "start at the beginning, and when you get to the end, stop?"
 
 Dear
-:   [laughter] Yes. I could do that, I suppose, but it wouldn't make for a very good story.
+:   [laughter] Yes. I could do that, I suppose, but it would not make for a very good story.
 
 Ioan
 :   Right. I suppose start at the beginning, specifically with your decision to upload.
@@ -36,13 +36,13 @@ Ioan
 :   Yes. Lots of turmoil around then. Early 2100s, right?
 
 Dear
-:   [nods] Yes. Though it's strange, now that I think about it. The turmoil at the time felt very small and personal. While there was all this grand-scale stuff going on around us, we were dealing with friends and acquaintances disappearing. There were so few cases at first that it was just this thing the news would publish as a sort of curiosity. "Look! Isn't this strange? The scientists are working so hard!" [laughter] It wasn't until after that the turmoil you're talking about began.
+:   [nodding] Yes. Though it's strange, now that I think about it. The turmoil at the time felt very small and personal. While there was all this grand-scale stuff going on around us, we were dealing with friends and acquaintances disappearing. There were so few cases at first that it was just this thing the news would publish as a sort of curiosity. "Look! Isn't this strange? The scientists are working so hard!" [laughter] It wasn't until after that the turmoil you're talking about began.
 
 Ioan
 :   Okay. Did you upload during?
 
 Dear
-:   Oh goodness, no. Uploading had been something scientists and such had been poking at, but that no one had yet to accomplish. Or, well, perhaps someone had accomplished. Some had claimed to, at least. The consensus at the time is that, while it was likely possible, there would be little chance of having systems large enough to house more than two or three individuals. It was not a...ah, not a linear increase in complexity, I think. Add another mind, and the complexity more than doubles. [pause] It was the lost who started it, in a way. The things we learned from them when they came back--
+:   Oh goodness, no. Uploading had been something scientists and such had been poking at, but that no one had yet to accomplish. Or, well, perhaps someone had accomplished. Some had claimed to, at least. The consensus at the time is that, while it was likely possible, there would be little chance of having systems large enough to house more than two or three individuals. It was not an...ah, not a linear increase in complexity, I think. Add another mind, and the complexity more than doubles. [pause] It was the lost who started it, in a way. The things we learned from them when they came back--
 
 Ioan
 :   How many-- sorry for the interruption. How many came back? Of those you knew?
@@ -60,19 +60,19 @@ Ioan
 :   Okay. Back to the uploading side, then. The lost taught you...
 
 Dear
-:   [visibly relaxing] Right, yes. When they came back, many of them --- many of us, for I was briefly among their number --- talked about what we had learned while...uh, in there. The things that we talked about and described are what sent the wonks down new avenues of research, and that eventually led to the first uploading tech. From there, there was the usual "too expensive" hand-wringing, but it all marches on, you know? [laughs] It got cheaper, the tech got better, the L5 station and Ansible were set up. Population was getting out of hand again, and some wag decided to pitch uploading as a solution.
+:   [visibly relaxing] Right, yes. When they came back, many of them --- many of us, for I was briefly among their number --- talked about what we had learned while...ah, in there. The things that we talked about and described are what sent the wonks down new avenues of research, and that eventually led to the first uploading tech. From there, there was the usual "too expensive" hand-wringing, but it all marches on, you know? [laughs] It got cheaper, the tech got better, the L5 station and Ansible were set up. Population was getting out of hand again, they said, and some wag decided to pitch uploading as a solution.
 
 Ioan
 :   I remember that, yeah. The posters were all over the place.
 
 Dear
-:   Yes. Notably, as the cost came down, it was pitched as something for the poorer classes to take advantage of.
+:   Yes. Notably, as the cost came down, it was pitched as something for the poorer classes to take advantage of. It bore more than a little whiff of eugenics.
 
 Ioan
 :   And were you...I mean--
 
 Dear
-:   [laughs] Poor? Not particularly, actually. It appealed to me for...different reasons. I'd prefer not to get into those at the moment.
+:   [laughter] Poor? Not particularly, actually. It appealed to me for...different reasons. I would prefer not to get into those at the moment.
 
 Ioan
 :   Alright.
@@ -102,7 +102,7 @@ Ioan
 :   You mention that it cost to fork, yes.
 
 Dear
-:   Yes. The reputation markets were already set up by then, but since this was before the system's proper expansion and some tech that came later --- I couldn't begin to understand it --- it was gently discouraged by the market.
+:   Yes. The reputation markets were already set up by then, but since this was before the System's proper expansion and some tech that came later --- I could not begin to understand it --- it was gently discouraged by the market.
 
 Ioan
 :   It hadn't reached this...post-scarcity, you mean?
@@ -126,7 +126,7 @@ Ioan
 :   It's hard to picture you as a tasker.
 
 Dear
-:   [laughter] Right, yes. As everything started to get cheaper, though, those distinctions began to emerge. By then, Michelle had a few long-lived instances, tagged as you are, Mx #c1494bf.
+:   [laughter] Right, yes. As everything started to get cheaper, though, those distinctions began to emerge. By then, Michelle had a few long-lived instances, tagged as you are, Mx. #c1494bf.
 
 Ioan
 :   [laughter] Thank you. This was before the Ode?
@@ -162,13 +162,13 @@ Ioan
 :   Thus the limited dispersionista style.
 
 Dear
-:   [nodding] Right. Each stanza became a small family of taskers, in a way. We, the Odists, create our own forks as needed, but don't let them live long. Or aren't supposed to, at least.
+:   [nodding] Right. Each stanza became a small family of taskers, in a way. We, the Odists, create our own forks as needed, but do not let them live long. Or are not supposed to, at least.
 
 Ioan
 :   "Aren't supposed to"?
 
 Dear
-:   Oh, I'm sure a few of us have created long-running forks while everyone else has turned their head.
+:   Oh, I am sure a few of us have created long-running forks while everyone else has turned their head.
 
 Ioan
 :   Have you?
@@ -180,7 +180,7 @@ Ioan
 :   Is the Ode available somewhere for me to read?
 
 Dear
-:   Of course. I'll give you a copy. That's hardly secret.
+:   Of course. I will give you a copy. That is hardly secret.
 
 Ioan
 :   And the clade, how long has it been since you have all been together.
@@ -198,7 +198,7 @@ Ioan
 :   Are you in touch with any of your cocladists?
 
 Dear
-:   I'm assuming you mean "in normal times"? Right. One or two. Serene and I get along quite well, and I talk with Praiseworthy --- Those That Lived Are Forever Praiseworthy, the first line of my stanza --- with some frequency. Michelle and I have talked a few times. She comes to my exhibitions.
+:   I am assuming you mean "in normal times"? Right. One or two. Serene and I get along quite well, and I talk with Praiseworthy --- That Which Lives Is Forever Praiseworthy, the first line of my stanza --- with some frequency. Michelle and I have talked a few times. She comes to my exhibitions.
 
 Ioan
 :   Ever talked to, um...