diff --git a/.gitignore b/.gitignore index 2a8645f..a775860 100644 --- a/.gitignore +++ b/.gitignore @@ -1 +1,2 @@ .hugo_build.lock +content/perfect-edition diff --git a/static/web/css/web-book-D32u7SVlzDe5.css b/static/web/css/web-book-EwJxyNbS0AxJ.css similarity index 57% rename from static/web/css/web-book-D32u7SVlzDe5.css rename to static/web/css/web-book-EwJxyNbS0AxJ.css index 0d45583..a10d852 100644 --- a/static/web/css/web-book-D32u7SVlzDe5.css +++ b/static/web/css/web-book-EwJxyNbS0AxJ.css @@ -1,179 +1,121 @@ @charset "UTF-8"; -@font-face { - font-family: "Vollkorn"; - font-weight: 400; - font-style: normal; - src: url("../font/Vollkorn-Regular.woff2") format("woff2"); -} +@import url('https://fonts.googleapis.com/css2?family=Gotu&family=Gentium+Plus:ital,wght@0,400;0,700;1,400;1,700&display=swap'); -@font-face { - font-family: "Vollkorn"; - font-weight: 400; - font-style: italic; - src: url("../font/Vollkorn-Italic.woff2") format("woff2"); -} - -@font-face { - font-family: "Vollkorn"; - font-weight: 500; - font-style: normal; - src: url("../font/Vollkorn-Semibold.woff2") format("woff2"); -} - -@font-face { - font-family: "Vollkorn"; - font-weight: 500; - font-style: italic; - src: url("../font/Vollkorn-SemiboldItalic.woff2") format("woff2"); -} *, *:before, *:after { - box-sizing: border-box; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; + box-sizing: border-box; } :root { - /* Baseline defaults for all devices */ --base-unit: 5vh; --column-width: 50vw; } -@supports (width: clamp(28px, 5vh, 56px)) { +@supports (width: clamp(28px, 5vh, 48px)) { :root { - /* Baseline defaults for all devices and browsers that support clamp() */ - /* Edge Chromium on Android has an issue with supporting clamp() for widths */ - --base-unit: clamp(28px, 5vh, 56px); + --base-unit: clamp(28px, 5vh, 48px); --column-width: clamp(480px, 50vw, 640px); } } :root { --base-unit-half: calc( var(--base-unit) / 2.0 ); - - --body-text-font-stack: "Vollkorn", serif; - --heading-text-font-stack: "Vollkorn", serif; + --body-text-font-stack: "Gentium Plus", serif; + --heading-text-font-stack: "Gotu", sans-serif; --font-size: var(--base-unit-half); --line-height: 1.4rem; --print-line-height: 1.4rem; - --vertical-padding: var(--base-unit); - - /* this 4.0 is a bit cryptic; we are making space for the toc button:; */ --column-height: calc(100vh - calc(var(--vertical-padding) * 4.0)); + --column-height: calc(100svh - calc(var(--vertical-padding) * 4.0)); --column-gap: var(--base-unit); - --paper-hue: 100; --paper-saturation: 50%; --paper-lightness: 99%; - --paper-color: hsla( var(--paper-hue), var(--paper-saturation), var(--paper-lightness), 1.0 ); - - /* these are for the "shades" that obscure text on the sides of the screen in wider browsers */ - --shade-color-destination: hsla(var(--paper-hue), var(--paper-saturation), var(--paper-lightness), 0.0); - --shade-color-origin: hsla(var(--paper-hue), var(--paper-saturation), var(--paper-lightness), 0.75); - - --spot-color: hsla(340, 100%, 50%, 1.0); - --selection-color: hsla(340, 100%, 75%, 1.0); - --text-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); - - --page-count: 1; -} - -@media(prefers-color-scheme:dark) { - :root { - --paper-lightness: 1%; - --selection-color: hsla(340, 100%, 25%, 1.0); - --text-color: rgb(250, 250, 250); - } + --paper-color: #222222; + --shade-color-destination: #000000; + --shade-color-origin: #111111; + --spot-color: #ffffff; + --selection-color: #bbbbbb; + --text-color: #eeeeee; } ::-moz-selection { background: var(--selection-color); } ::selection { background: var(--selection-color); } -/* reset */ +/* @@ -417,6 +513,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Table of Contents

+
@@ -424,27 +521,28 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash ) +
+ +
  1. RJ Brewster — 2112
  2. AwDae — 2112
  3. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  4. RJ Brewster — 2112
  5. Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112
  6. RJ Brewster — 2112
  7. Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112
  8. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  9. RJ Brewster — 2112
  10. Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112
  11. AwDae — 2112
  12. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  13. AwDae — 2112
  14. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  15. Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112
  16. AwDae — 2112
  17. Qoheleth — 2305
  18. Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112
  19. AwDae — 2112
  20. Qoheleth — 2305
  21. Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112
  22. AwDae — 2112
  23. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  24. AwDae — 2112
  25. Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112
  26. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  27. AwDae — 2112
  28. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  29. Sasha — 2112
  30. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  31. AwDae — 2112
  32. Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112
  33. Qoheleth — 2305
  34. AwDae — 2112
  35. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  36. Sasha — 2112
  37. AwDae — 2112
  38. Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112
  39. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  40. Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112
  41. AwDae — 2112
  42. Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112
  43. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  44. AwDae — 2112
  45. Qoheleth — 2305
  46. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  47. AwDae — 2112
  48. Qoheleth — 2305
  49. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  50. Qoheleth — 2305
  51. Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112
  52. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  53. Sasha — 2112
  54. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  55. Sasha — 2113
  56. RJ Brewster — 2114
-
  1. RJ Brewster — 2112
  2. RJ Brewster — 2112
  3. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  4. RJ Brewster — 2112
  5. Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112
  6. RJ Brewster — 2112
  7. Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112
  8. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  9. RJ Brewster — 2112
  10. Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112
  11. RJ Brewster — 2112
  12. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  13. RJ Brewster — 2112
  14. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  15. Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112
  16. RJ Brewster — 2112
  17. Qoheleth — 2305
  18. Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112
  19. RJ Brewster — 2112
  20. Qoheleth — 2305
  21. Archive: [Hebel Qoheleth]
  22. Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112
  23. RJ Brewster — 2112
  24. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  25. RJ Brewster — 2112
  26. Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112
  27. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  28. RJ Brewster — 2112
  29. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  30. Sasha — 2112
  31. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  32. RJ Brewster — 2112
  33. Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112
  34. Qoheleth — 2305
  35. RJ Brewster — 2112
  36. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  37. Sasha — 2112
  38. RJ Brewster — 2112
  39. Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112
  40. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  41. Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112
  42. RJ Brewster — 2112
  43. Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112
  44. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  45. RJ Brewster — 2112
  46. Qoheleth — 2305
  47. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  48. RJ Brewster — 2112
  49. Qoheleth — 2305
  50. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  51. Qoheleth — 2305
  52. Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112
  53. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  54. Sasha — 2112
  55. Ioan Bălan — 2305
  56. Sasha — 2113
  57. RJ Brewster — 2114
  58. Colophon
- +

Qoheleth

Madison Scott-Clary

-
+
-

How to Read

-

On a phone:
Swipe, or tap the edges of the page

-

On a laptop:
Use the arrow keys, the space bar, or the touch pad

-

On a desktop:
Use any of the above, or the scroll wheel

+

How to read

+

On a phone:
Tap the edges of the page

+

On a computer:
Click the edges of the page, or use the arrow keys, the space bar, the trackpad, or the scroll wheel

+

On paper:
Print it out

Basically, everything works

-

Powered by Robin Sloan's Perfect Edition. -

+
- +

Qoheleth

Madison Scott-Clary

Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account.

@@ -452,8 +550,6 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

— Ecclesiastes 3:15

-

Qoheleth

-

RJ Brewster — 2112

@@ -476,7 +572,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

RJ left the channel open just in case. The soft sounds of breathing and the occasional curse as Ross bumped his head on the pit cover were distracting while ey set about going through eir notes with the dozy theater. Best be available, though. The next night’s rehearsal was the last before they went live.

-

Ey knew the show better than most of the cast. Em and the theater. The two had to learn everyone’s lines, plus a few cues besides when they’d have to take care not to pick up any of the sound effects. Gun-shots. Chairs scraping. A scuffle. The clap of heels on the matte black of the stage itself.

+

Ey knew the show better than most of the cast. Em and the theater. The two had to learn everyone’s lines, plus a few cues besides when they’d have to take care not to pick up any of the sound effects. Gunshots. Chairs scraping. A scuffle. The clap of heels on the matte black of the stage itself.

The theater’s job was to simply work with RJ and the lighting crew, responding to their knowledge of what was going on in the play, while RJ and Caitlin’s job, as sound and lights respectively, was to respond to the stage manager’s encyclopedic knowledge of the play, her view of the house.

@@ -502,7 +598,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

It only took a few minutes for RJ and Ross to get the last of the sound gear settled. Headsets from all of the hands socketed into numbered chargers on the wall. Everything would sleep tight until the next night on sound’s end.

-

Caitlin and Sarai, the stage manager, joined them with the rest of the crew. They sat on the edge of the pit cover, unwinding from the tenseness of rehearsal. The actors were slow to get out of their half-costume and clump together on the stage.

+

Caitlin and Sarai, the stage manager, joined them with the rest of the crew. They sat on the edge of the pit cover, unwinding from the tenseness of rehearsal. The actors were slow got out of their half-costume and clump together on the stage.

“Gather ‘round, children”, a voice boomed from out in the darkened audience.

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“Good job, I think we’re there. Still, a bit more polish never hurts. No flubbed lines, and mostly relaxed, but Sarah, you gotta loosen up. It’s not Shakespeare, you can chill out. Crew, you guys got a little sluggish toward the end. I know it’s late, but so are our shows. Don’t work yourselves too hard, but keep on top of things, okay?”

-

RJ, Sarai, and Caitlin murmured their assent.

+

RJ, Sarai, and Caitlin nodded their assent.

“Tomorrow night, back here at four.”

@@ -572,11 +668,11 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Ey could no longer hear it.

-

-RJ Brewster — 2112 +

+AwDae — 2112

-

AwDae sat up in bed and slid to the edge of the mattress. Stretched languidly, let fur bristle from ear to tail, the latter bottle-brushing out. Ey shook emself to settle eir fur back down and yawned widely, slender pink tongue curling just shy of sharp incisors. All formalities, to be sure, or perhaps wordless mnemonics to finish the context-shift. The final step in a ritual.

+

RJ– no, AwDae, now, sat up in bed and slid to the edge of the mattress. Stretched languidly, let fur bristle from ear to tail, the latter bottle-brushing out. Ey shook emself to settle eir fur back down and yawned widely, slender pink tongue curling just shy of sharp incisors. All formalities, to be sure, or perhaps wordless mnemonics to finish the context-shift. The final step in a ritual.

All those phantom realities clicking into place.

@@ -638,13 +734,13 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

“Oh no, struck out again?”

-

Sasha shrugged, nodded, shrugged once more, fiddled with a vcard. No eye contact.

+

She shrugged, nodded, shrugged once more, fiddled with a vcard. No eye contact.

AwDae reached out to take one of her paws in eir own, black fur on tan mismatched and complementary. Both had opted for mostly hand-like paws, but differences were evident on contact. Where Sasha’s fur was an even, silky black marked by white stripes that were a little too sharp, a little too exact, AwDae had labored to construct a version of emself as a fennec fox to exacting detail, down to the point where eir muzzle couldn’t even form the two letters that made up eir name offline.

Exacting, minus perhaps the two-legged-ness, the hands, the humanity around the eyes. Even then, ey had an av free of humanity stashed away somewhere.

-

Thoughts of honing versus forging blurred surroundings. AwDae had honed emself to a finer and finer point while everyone else forged ahead. Always a way to be a better tech. Always a chance to become more vulpine online. Always a way to become better at what one already was. To become more the AwDae AwDae felt ey was.

+

Thoughts of honing versus forging blurred surroundings. AwDae had honed emself to a finer and finder point while everyone else forged ahead. Always a way to be a better tech. Always a chance to become more vulpine online. Always a way to become better at what one already was. To become more the AwDae AwDae felt ey was.

Still running sound. Still honing that skill.

@@ -658,7 +754,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

“No, I know. I just wish there were more guys out there like you.” When AwDae stiffened in eir seat and looked away towards the window, Sasha splayed her ears and added quickly, “Sorry dear. I keep putting my foot in it, don’t I?”

-

“Sorry, no, you’re fine.” AwDae grinned apologetically. “I should get a thicker skin, maybe. Stand up for myself. I spend night after night hiding in here, and even then, can’t seem to assert myself any. I appreciate you trying, though.”

+

“Sorry, no, you’re fine.” AwDae smiled apologetically. “I should get a thicker skin, maybe. Stand up for myself. I spend night after night hiding in here, and even then, can’t seem to assert myself any. I appreciate you trying, though.”

Sasha smiled cautiously and nodded. “You came out like fifteen years ago, AwDae. I should still be doing better.”

@@ -668,7 +764,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

“You should come see us sometime. It’d be good to see you again, too.”

-

“You know I want to.” Sasha grinned. It didn’t last. “But yeah. You seem kind of frozen, kind of stuck — in a few ways, even, though you’re succeeding in others.”

+

“You know I want to.” She grinned. It didn’t last. “But yeah. You seem kind of frozen, kind of stuck — in a few ways, even, though you’re succeeding in others.”

AwDae nodded, rumination hanging in a cloud around em. So many ways the world had moved on without em. After a moment, though, ey sat up straighter. “Oh, speaking of frozen.”

@@ -680,7 +776,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

“What? Really?” The fox shook eir head, poking a claw at the table, before rubbing the spot with a paw pad. The sim was hardly immersive enough to waste cycles on letting claw dent tabletop. “That’s unfortunate. Not all that surprising, I guess, given what Cice said about them. They at least confirmed that’s what happened, though?”

-

“That’s what these are,” Sasha said, slipping the stack of vcards over to em. “There’s contact info for the family, and a few centers around there that work on implants, some hospitals. We’re thinking that those might be the types of places where he wound up. There’s also a card detailing his laston information.”

+

“That’s what these are,” Sasha said, slipping the stack of vcards over to em. “There’s contact info for the family, and a few centers around there that work on implants, some hospitals. We’re thinking that those might be the types of places where he wound up. There’s also a card detailing his last connected times.”

AwDae twisted the stack of cards around in front of em, leafing through slowly and taking in a few of the details that slid across eir fingertips. “Mind if I make a copy?”

@@ -702,7 +798,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

“Hey, Sasha, I gotta get going. I know I just got here, but I’m starting to crash hard.”

-

The skunk nodded, tail drooping. “No, it’s alright. It’s late there, and I know you’ve been in rehearsals for a while. Go get some sleep.”

+

She nodded, ears drooping. “No, it’s alright. It’s late there, and I know you’ve been in rehearsals for a while. Go get some sleep.”

Both stood up and exchanged another hug, AwDae reveling in that dandelion scent of eir friend. Memories of school, drowsy, dreamlike. Dandelions in the lawn. An impromptu picnic. Rubbing one of the flowers on the back of eir hand, leaving a yellow stain. Sasha explaining that the smell always reminded her of muffins.

@@ -718,7 +814,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Ioan Bălan awoke to an urgent message.

-

Ey didn’t really like these, the sensorium messages. Much better to receive paper messages. Letters. Notes. Missives. Scrawled signatures and careful handwriting.

+

Ey didn’t really like these, the sensorium messages. Much better to received paper messages. Letters. Notes. Missives. Scrawled signatures and careful handwriting.

Ey mostly just liked paper, if ey was honest. Always accruing more paper, more pens. Paper messages, rich messages attached to paper that played on its surface, ones that messed with the reader’s sensorium; ey sent them all. Eir friends found it perhaps a little disturbing. Antiques from a world more physical than this.

@@ -726,15 +822,15 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

At least ey didn’t have to get out of bed to deal with it.

-

The opacity on the message was turned up high so that even in eir dark room with eir eyes closed (and heart still pounding), ey could see the fox. Bipedal, dressed sharply. It was sitting on a plain wooden chair situated in an empty room. The room had wood floors the same color as the chair. Something light: maple or pine. The walls were concrete where they weren’t glass. Outside the glass was a sere shortgrass prairie, a cloudy day.

+

The opacity on the message was turned up high so that even in eir dark room with eir eyes still closed (and heart still pounding), ey could see the fox. Bipedal, dressed sharply. It was sitting on a plain wooden chair situated in an empty room. The room had wood floors the same color as the chair. Something light: maple or pine. The walls were concrete where they weren’t glass. Outside the glass was a sere shortgrass prairie, a cloudy day.

The combination of the fox’s white fur, glistening and iridescent, combined with the room and landscape was all so painfully postmodern. Ey didn’t think emself much of a pomophobe, but this was…intense, to say the least.

-

“Hi Mx Bălan,” the fox was saying. It seemed to speak in italics, though how, Ioan could not say. A sense. A sensation. “I have a proposition for you.”

+

“Hi Mx. Bălan,” the fox was saying. It seemed to speak in italics, though how, Ioan could not say. A sense. A sensation. “I have a proposition for you.”

Ioan grunted. The message was simplex, thank goodness. One way. No interaction required.

-

“My name is Dear, Also, The Tree Was Felled — or just Dear — and I am a member of the Ode clade. I am an artist–” The word seemed to come with a tone of distaste. ”–and…performer. I am not just telling you this to, ah, toot my own horn, I believe the phrase is, but to underline the fact that I am woefully unprepared for the situation at hand.”

+

“My name is Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled — or just Dear — and I am a member of the Ode clade. I am an artist–” The word seemed to come with a tone of distaste. ”–and…performer. I am not just telling you this to, ah, toot my own horn, I believe the phrase is, but to underline the fact that I am woefully unprepared for the situation at hand.”

The fox smiled, looking tired, and continued. “I need some help finding someone. Someone that does not want to be found. It is personally important, but also potentially damaging to the image of our entire clade.”

@@ -742,7 +838,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

“This person has information, a name, that they have supposedly shared. We — the other members of my clade and myself — do not precisely know if they actually did, unfortunately, we just have word from some perisystem notification that someone said the Name.” Ioan could hear the capital letter.

-

“I am sorry, I am getting sidetracked by details.” The fox shook it’s head, ears flopping from side to side. “I try to be prepared for conversations and messages like this, but I am a little worked up. Excited, I guess. Can we meet?” It listed an address. “Even if only to talk. Even if you are not interested, I would still like to meet you. You seem neat.”

+

“I am sorry, I am getting sidetracked by details.” The fox shook its head, ears flopping from side to side. “I try to be prepared for conversations and messages like this, but I am a little worked up. Excited, I guess. Can we meet?” It listed an address. “Even if only to talk. Even if you are not interested, I would still like to meet you. You seem neat.”

The message ended.

@@ -762,8 +858,8 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Ey forked and sent the copy of emself, #c1494bf, out to the meeting. Meanwhile, ey’d get some food, perhaps work on eir current project.

-

-RJ Brewster — 2112 +

+RJ Brewster — 2112

RJ slid eir hands from the cradles and leaned back from the headrest, letting out a full-fledged yawn, pent up from the interferites preventing it. The sound and motion startled Priscilla from across the room. Ey levered emself up out of eir seat and trudged over toward the still-purring cat, stroking over her ears when she bunted her head up against eir hand.

@@ -778,7 +874,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

For now, as it neared two, ey focused on making sure the door was locked and the lights were out before stumbling over to bed.

-

Ey flipped the screen down on eir rig to send it to sleep and wandered over to the bed. There seemed to be no shaking Sasha and all of her talk of high school, gone this last decade now, out of eir head. Even as ey climbed into eir narrow mattress and burrowed beneath the covers against the chill of the night, ey was replaying memories from school. Scenes from the Americas. A worn out film, dim and scattershot.

+

There seemed to be no shaking Sasha and all of her talk of high school — gone this last decade now — out of eir head. Even as ey climbed onto eir narrow mattress and burrowed beneath the covers against the chill of the night, ey was replaying memories from school. Scenes from the Americas. A worn out film, dim and scattershot.

Honing and forging, honing and forging.

@@ -792,7 +888,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Ey did well in some courses and not in others, as any kid might, but in the subjects ey enjoyed, ey dumped all of eir effort. Huge gusts of energy that drove em forward.

-

Ey had started early on in working the school’s old sound board in the theater. Ey ran plays. Ey ran concerts. Ey ran assemblies and lectures and conferences, quickly earning the trust of the other tech crew, as well as the staff.

+

Ey had started early on in working the school’s old sound board in the theater Ey ran plays. Ey ran concerts. Ey ran assemblies and lectures and conferences, quickly earning the trust of the other tech crew, as well as the staff.

And then ey gained leadership. Prestige.

@@ -850,8 +946,8 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Ey slept.

-

-Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112 +

+Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112

Carter rubbed her face into her hands, ground her palms against her eyes until she saw stars, slicked her hair back in a vain attempt to wrangle fly-away hair. It had been in such a neat bun this morning.

@@ -864,9 +960,9 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

It’s that no one seemed to take the lost all that seriously. It was like addiction, or plane crashes, or suicide. Something to look at, to study long enough to say “Ah, this is happening now,” and then set aside. Conversation-piece science.

-

People admitted that the phenomenon was there, but only in as much as it didn’t affect that many people. A simple number to point to. See how small?

+

People admitted that the phenomenon was there, but only inasmuch as it didn’t affect that many people. A simple number to point to. See how small?

-

It was as though the brains of the lost were just…elsewhere. Just dreaming. Implants showing them connected while no such connection existed.

+

It was as though the minds of the lost were just…elsewhere. Just dreaming. Implants showing them connected while no such connection existed.

There was no sense to it, though. No rhyme or reason to why such a thing would happen to the patient. Some of her team were pulling together all of the facts about the population that they could, from demographics to physical stature, searching for clues in the rig and the ‘net itself, sim histories to go with personal ones. The neuroscientists were digging into what was going on within the brain, and what few scans they had from before someone had gotten lost. Their two pet lawyers — just law students on internship, both also versed in stats — were digging into the legal status of the lost as well as writing queries to procure patient medical histories.

@@ -892,8 +988,8 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Eventually, finding herself at as much of a dead end as she had at work, Carter ambled off to her room, changed from her work clothes into a comfortable pair of lounge pants and a night shirt, and crawled into bed.

-

-RJ Brewster — 2112 +

+RJ Brewster — 2112

RJ allowed emself to sleep in until near eleven that morning. Last night of dress rehearsal, might as well be well-rested.

@@ -906,7 +1002,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Fine. Trudge out of bed. Refill cat’s water and food. Give the requisite morning pets to keep her happy. Scoop the litter box. Make self a pot of tea. Tea to shake the grogginess.

-

Ey sat at the tiny kitchen table, sipping from eir oversized mug and watching the late morning traffic from eir window. Mostly business traffic, with the occasional mother with child in tow. Black cabs. Scooters. Bikes.

+

Ey sat at the tiny kitchen table, sipping from eir oversized mug and watching the late morning traffic from their window. Mostly business traffic, with the occasional mother with child in tow. Black cabs. Scooters. Bikes.

By the time ey had finished eir first mug of tea, RJ had woken up enough to start on the prowl. As with the night before, ey made sure that everything was in order before touching eir rig. Ey’d taken care of the cat, but ey still needed to eat, emself. So, remembering eir promise, ey set about making a small pot of rice. Fifteen minutes to cook, plenty enough time to finish another mug of tea.

@@ -924,62 +1020,23 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Ey called up Sasha’s deck.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
 
Cicero Lost Nov 2111
Priv eyes only
See Debarre for ACLs
+
+

Cicero Lost Nov 2112
+Priv eyes only
+See Debarre for ACLs

+
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
 
Dr. Carter Ramirez
specialist in lost
so. London
+
+

Dr. Carter Ramirez
+specialist in lost
+so. London

+
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
 
Mr/Mrs. Jackson
parents, can’t get much more
dad in govt, mother stays home
+
+

Mr/Mrs. Jackson +parents, can’t get much more +dad in govt, mother stays home

+

And on it went for nearly a dozen cards. Each had its own cover embossed with a few lines of type, each containing upwards of a terabyte of information culled from various sources, doubtless of varied quality.

@@ -1027,24 +1084,11 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Ey made sure syncing was turned on across all copies of the deck before snipping those rows out of the activity table into a card of their own:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
 
DDR votes
todo: process by record
1 month, 835 votes (!)
+
+

DDR votes
+todo: process by record
+1 month, 835 votes (!)

+

The icon in the upper left of the screen showing the deck twirled gracefully to show the sync.

@@ -1061,7 +1105,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Rather than finishing the thought out loud, ey dashed off a summary in the notes attached to the card.

-

AwDae here. Looks like there’s a lot going on in DDR activity (where’d you get this, Debarre?). Cicero was into a lot, and I’m not trying to go all conspiracy nut on you all, but do you think that maybe he got in too deep or something? Not saying someone tried to do it to him or anything, just that maybe the more one uses the net, the more likely it is to happen to them? I mean seriously, look at all of his votes, and his stash of credits! I’ll keep poking at this after rehearsal.

+

AwDae here. Looks like there’s a lot going on in DDR activity (where’d you get this, Debarre?). Cicero was into a lot, and I’m not trying to go all conspiracy nut on you all, but do you think that maybe he got in too deep or something? Not saying someone tried to do it too him or anything, just that maybe the more one uses the net, the more likely it is to happen to them? I mean seriously, look at all of his votes, and his stash of credits! I’ll keep poking at this after rehearsal.

The tea had gone cold long ago, but ey downed it all the same. Ey’d spent longer than planned plowing through the data the hard way and ey risked being late if ey didn’t start hustling.

@@ -1074,8 +1118,8 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Cicero had built himself up into a proper political player.

-

-Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112 +

+Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112

The morning’s alarm startled Carter awake.

@@ -1096,7 +1140,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

S

-

The brief, ungrammatical message from Sanders left her nonplussed until she pieced together that he was talking about one of the other subjects’ histories, something about him being part of some subculture. Sanders didn’t honestly believe that people who pretended to be animals on the ‘net were somehow more predisposed to get lost than everyone else. And, to be honest, neither did she.

+

The brief, ungrammatical message from Sanders left her nonplussed until she pieced together that he was talking about one of the other subjects’ histories, something about them being part of some subculture. Sanders didn’t honestly believe that people who pretended to be animals on the ‘net were somehow more predisposed to get lost than everyone else. And, to be honest, neither did she.

All the same, the thought stuck with her through her morning routine. Through the shower, the blank dissociation of standing in the kitchen. Through two cups of coffee, the first there in the kitchen and the second out of a travel mug on the tube as she headed out towards the UCL campus.

@@ -1126,6 +1170,11 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Before the person could do so, Dear came padding from around the side of the house, looking slightly more collected than it had during the message.

+
+Ears for days. +
Art by johnny a.
+
+

“Ioan,” it said, smiling and offering a hand — paw? — in greeting. Ioan wasn’t sure how ey knew when a fox was smiling, but it was definitely a smile. “Thank you for coming on such short notice. Sorry for the urgent message, I just need to find someone to help out rather soon.”

Ioan#c1494bf took the offered hand/paw and bowed. “Of course, Dear.” How strange it was to call someone a term of endearment as a name. “May we have a seat? I’ve just woken up and am still figuring out how to stand.”

@@ -1138,13 +1187,13 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

After a moment’s hesitation, Ioan began, “I must apologize, Dear. I’m not sure that you have quite the right person. I’m not really a detective, wouldn’t know the first way of finding the one you spoke of.”

-

Dear shook it’s head. “No, I’m pretty sure you are the right person. My search of the markets was quite specific, and you topped all the lists. I am not really looking for a detective, per se. There’s enough of those in the Ode clade. They will suss out the whens and wheres.”

+

Dear shook its head. “No, I am pretty sure you are the right person. My search of the markets was quite specific, and you topped all the lists. I am not really looking for a detective, per se. There are enough of those in the Ode clade. They will suss out the whens and wheres.”

“Then what–”

“There are a few types of people in the world, Ioan,” the fox said, voice low and calm. Low enough and calm enough to take the sting out of the interruption. “There are forgers and honers. Most are familiar with those. Forgers build a thing and plow ahead, and honers settle on a thing and perfect it. Artists generally fall into these classes, and they map to two outcomes in particular: prolific and unfruitful artists, respectively.

-

“But you are not an artist. You write, yes, but that’s ancillary to what you do. A side effect. After all, there are some other types of people out there, too. Catalogers, feelers, experiencers.” Dear shrugged. “For its own reasons, the clade needs– I need someone to experience this along with us. Someone specifically out-clade. There’s a lot of history in this, a lot that we’ve forgotten before uploading, a lot that we’re trying to remember. Maybe even some that we’re trying to forget. I want you to help figure out the history of this, yes, but I also want you to experience it and tell a coherent story after.”

+

“But you are not an artist. You write, yes, but that is ancillary to what you do. A side effect. After all, there are some other types of people out there, too. Catalogers, feelers, experiencers.” Dear shrugged. “For its own reasons, the clade needs– I need someone to experience this along with us. Someone specifically out-clade. There is a lot of history in this, a lot that we have forgotten before uploading, a lot that we are trying to remember. Maybe even some that we are trying to forget. I want you to help figure out the history of this, yes, but I also want you to experience it and tell a coherent story after.”

“An amanuensis,” Ioan said.

@@ -1158,7 +1207,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

“Your partner?” Ioan asked. A moment of chitchat felt necessary. Ey lifted eir mug carefully. It smelled quite good.

-

The fox nodded, picked up it’s own mug, and leaned back into the cushions of the couch, slouching. “Mmhm. Finally decided to explore relationships again,” it said. “They accuse me of treating it like an art project.”

+

The fox nodded, picked up it’s own mug, and leaned back into the cushions of the couch, slouching. “Mmhm. Finally decided to explore relationships again,” it said. “They accuse me of treating it like an art project”

Ioan grinned. “Well, are you a forger or a honer of relationships?”

@@ -1199,20 +1248,20 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Ioan nodded, once more steering the conversation away from more sensitive topics. “It must be quite long, then.”

-“One hundred lines divided into ten stanzas. There are only ever ten branches as direct ancestors of Michelle, and each branch only ever has ten long-lived up-tree instances. We may be Dispersionistas, but we are a small clade.” +“One hundred lines divided into ten stanzas. There are only ever ten branches as direct ancestors of Michelle, and each branch only ever has nine long-lived up-tree instances from the initial fork. We may be Dispersionistas, but we are a small clade.”

“And the poet? Who are they?”

-

Dear bristled, then mastered some complex set of emotions Ioan didn’t understand. “That is the Name that we don’t share. The information that someone supposedly did share, I mean. Someone of the clade or close enough to it to know.”

+

Dear bristled, then mastered some complex set of emotions Ioan didn’t understand. “That is the Name that we do not share. The information that someone supposedly did share, I mean. Someone of the clade or close enough to it to know.”

-

Ioan’s brow furrowed, startled by the fox’s reaction, not to mention the concept of not sharing a name that was clearly important. “I see,” ey said into eir coffee, covering eir confusion. “So you’d like me to help in finding this person and act as amanuensis along the way?”

+

Ioan’s brow furrowed, startled by the fox’s reaction, not to mention the concept of not sharing a name that was clearly important. “I see,” ey said down to eir coffee, covering eir confusion. “So you’d like me to help in finding this person and act as amanuensis along the way?”

Nodding, Dear held out its paw once more. “If you would be willing, that is. We would be glad to have you aboard.”

Ey was already sold, Ioan knew, but all the same, ey took a moment longer to consider the ramifications of the job. Ey couldn’t come up with any reason not to.

-

Ey nodded, reached out and shook the fox’s paw.

+

Ey nodded, reached out, and shook the fox’s paw.

Dear grinned, shook back.

@@ -1224,8 +1273,8 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Ioan gave eir best polite smile.

-

-RJ Brewster — 2112 +

+RJ Brewster — 2112

RJ arrived at the theater early, the last few meters of the walk having been spent hastily finishing the carton of Thai. Carton and chopsticks wound up in the compost as ey swiped eir way into the theater.

@@ -1240,7 +1289,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

“Nah, I’m fine. I mean,” RJ frowned, squinted. Anything to get emself in the work mindset. “Yeah, sorry. Woke up early and spent a bunch of time researching. Guess my head’s still elsewhere, boss.”

-

“Well, alright,” Johansson rumbled. “So long as you get your head around work by the time we start. Hey. More crew.”

+

“Well, alright,” Johansson said. “So long as you get your head around work by the time we start. Hey. More crew.”

RJ bustled into the theater and made eir way down to the pit where the mics had been stored. Ey handed them out to the actors who would be wearing them, ticking off the cheat-sheet to align proper mic to correct actor.

@@ -1314,7 +1363,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

“RJ?”

-

“What’s going on up there?” Johansson’s subvocalization rumbled through the director’s channel in the sim.

+

“What’s going on up there?” Johansson’s subvocalization trickled through the director’s channel in the sim.

“Something’s wrong, boss, lemme back out and check up on RJ.”

@@ -1366,10 +1415,10 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

AwDae struggled against crashing waves of panic. Struggled to make all of this information fit in eir head. Struggled to make it all fit in with the fact that ey was currently vulpine. A fennec fox dressed in a suit, laying on the floor of the central corridor of eir old high school.

-

“The hell?”

+

“What the hell?”

-

-Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112 +

+Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112

“Listen, Ramirez, I’m just not sure if you–”

@@ -1382,7 +1431,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Carter stood her ground. No sense paling under his glare. She was lead of the research team, she could tell Sanders to do whatever she wanted him to. Or, well, strongly suggest. Hell, there was no reason for her not to. She was plugged into all of the teams that he was not privy to. He may be lead of neurochem, but Carter was above basically everyone except the UCL itself and whatever grantors were sponsoring the project.

-

After a few tense seconds, he caved, shrugged, turned his back on Carter. He nodded towards his own team.

+

After a few tense secionds, he caved, shrugged, turned his back on Carter. He nodded towards his own team.

“Look, Sanders,” Carter said, following after. “You’re a fantastic doctor, and I respect that, I really do. I’m not trying to impugn that or anything, and I’m not pulling labor away from the neurochem team. I’m merely suggesting that we add a sociological aspect to our attack here.”

@@ -1432,58 +1481,23 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Two were positioned at the top of the list:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
 
Patient aca973d7
M — 2086-01-28
Lost: 2112-11-08
+
+

Patient aca973d7
+M — 2086-01-28
+Lost: 2112-11-08

+
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
 
Patient 0224ebe8
X — 2084-05-09
Lost: 2112-12-07
+
+

Patient 0224ebe8
+X — 2084-05-09
+Lost: 2112-12-07

+

Carter connected these two cards with fine thread. Hanging pendant from that, she switched to virtual keyboard and created a metadata label, more tag than card:

- - - - - - - - - - - -
 
Possible acquaintances
+
+

Possible acquaintances

+

The others, those shadowy figures, caught on to what she was doing, and got down to work, dragging symlinks of decks and expanding this new group of social connections.

@@ -1531,8 +1545,8 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Sanders strolled back toward his workstation, Ramirez’s eyes on his back.

-

-RJ Brewster — 2112 +

+AwDae — 2112

AwDae slowly picked emself up off of the floor, staggering to eir feet.

@@ -1617,7 +1631,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

AwDae brushed eir fingerpads along the lower lip of the soundboard. The screws were exactly where ey remembered.

-

Swishing eir tail out of the way, ey sat on the stool before it. Ey reached a paw up past the master sliders, just around to the back of the board, where ey found the power switch.

+

Swishing eir tail out of the way, ey sat on the stool in before it. Ey reached a paw up past the master sliders, just around to the back of the board, where ey found the power switch.

Click.

@@ -1669,11 +1683,11 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

“What’s an AES block?”

-

“An old encryption algorithm.” Dear looked a little embarrassed. “And I mean old. We like old things. That’s why she suggested it might be from one of us.”

+

“An old encryption algorithm.” Dear looked a little embarrassed. “And I mean old. We like old things. That is why she suggested it might be from one of us.”

“You don’t sound convinced.”

-

“I am not. You must understand that this is not something any of the clade wants known. It is just a name, yes, but it is important to us in a way that is hard to overstate.” Dear sighed. “Much of the clade is of the opinion that, if we could simply wipe the Name from our minds, we would. For a member of the clade to break that trust is nigh unthinkable. It is acting against our very nature.”

+

“I am not. You must understand that this is not something any of the clade wants known. It is just a name, yes, but it is important to us in a way that is hard to overstate.” Dear sighed. “Much of the clade is of the opinion that, if we could simply wipe the Name from our minds, we would. For a member of the clade to break that trust is nigh unthinkable. It is acting against our very nature.”

“You’re right in that I probably can’t understand the importance here. Still, I trust you on that. A friend, maybe? A mutual?”

@@ -1697,7 +1711,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Ioan nodded. “So do you want me–”

-

“You do not need to worry about the file itself. That’s why I did not just forward it to you automatically.” Dear paused, then added, “Though I probably should have. Here I am talking about you having a more complete picture and not giving you everything.”

+

“You do not need to worry about the file itself. That is why I did not just forward it to you automatically.” Dear paused, then added, “Though I probably should have. Here I am talking about you having a more complete picture and not giving you everything.”

“It’s alright. I’m picking it up as we go along.”

@@ -1706,7 +1720,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

“Okay, good. I gave AES a check, and you’re right, that’s ridiculously old. Can’t you just crack it?”

-“We could. Some of us probably already have. I want the key, though. It’s probably a word or something, and may prove interesting in its own right.” +“We could. Some of us probably already have. I want the key, though. It is probably a word or something, and may prove interesting in its own right.”

“Interesting?”

@@ -1718,7 +1732,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

“Ah. Good point. I’ll do some digging on old cryptography, too, and see what all’s out there.”

-“Good fucking luck. Cryptonerds were — are — very wordy. There’s going to be a boatload to sort through.” +“Good fucking luck. Cryptonerds were — are — very wordy. There is going to be a boatload to sort through.”

Ey grinned, “I’ll fork and research, then.”

@@ -1731,13 +1745,13 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

#tracker was, indeed, giving #c1494bf a bemused grin.

-

-RJ Brewster — 2112 +

+AwDae — 2112

The pit revealed little.

-

There were twenty boxes set on a table in front of the snakehead. Twenty receivers for twenty wireless mics. Twenty cables neatly velcroed together into a bundle, contracting from the receivers and arcing catenary toward the dull grey plug-box. They were reduced to a four-by-five grid, arching up above the snakehead before plunging into it, XLR heads buried in XLR nests.

+

There were twenty boxes set on a table in front of the snakehead. Twenty receivers for twenty wireless mics. Twenty cables neatly velcroed together into a bundle, contracting from the receivers and dangling catenary from the dull grey plug-box. They were reduced to a four-by-five grid, arching up above the snakehead before plunging into it, XLR heads buried in XLR nests.

All of the boxes on the table were dull. Mute LEDs simple bumps on their surface. Dark. All but one: the first. The one with a piece of masking tape on its face, scrawled with a ‘1’. That box had a single red light on the front, indicating that it was powered on, and a single green light, indicating that the corresponding mic was transmitting.

@@ -1845,7 +1859,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

The passphrase for this encrypted message was kemmer. If the other Odists figured it out, I would be curious to see what they make of it, just as I’m curious as to your thoughts. Perhaps later. For now, there’s a bit of story, here.

-

I did not originally find the passphrase, as the letter itself was decrypted through known weaknesses. None of the tools that I was able to find would (could?) give me the key, since all of the attacks were along direct avenues. Don’t ask the details, I can hardly understand them.

+

I did not originally find the passphrase, as the letter itself was decrypted through known weaknesses. None of the tools that I was able to find would (could?) give me the key, since all of the attacks were along direct avenues. Don’t ask the details, I can hardly understand them..

Instead, I found the passphrase by accident while doing a search on some of the contents of the letter. Notably, I searched on Qoheleth, and then Hebel in relation to that name. There’s lots of juicy stuff here. Qoheleth is more title than name, and is used in a book in both the Christian and the Jewish bibles. Given the author’s reference to the Hebrew word, I’ve been restricting myself to searches surrounding the Tanakh. I should add that, while in the Tanakh, the book is called by the same name, while in the Christian bible, it is called Ecclesiastes, from the Greek.

@@ -1873,7 +1887,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

I was not able to deduce anything concrete out of this term, because I cannot tell where it is directed. While I do not presume to know the Name (nor do I wish to!), one possibility is that it refers to the author of the Ode. Another is that it refers to some aspect of the Ode clade itself. You are perhaps uniquely positioned to answer this, as I don’t imagine the entirety of the Ode clade are agender foxes, given both what I know of Michelle Hadje and how you speak of your cocladists. A third possibility is that the term may apply to Qoheleth themself. A fourth is that it relates to the mystery at hand in some way. And, of course, it could be meaningless (hah) in terms of subtext, in this case and does not apply beyond being a neat word.

-

That said, I’m not a fan of the final interpretation, as upon further digging, I came across the line “the key word is kemmer, that’s what yo’ ass need” in an equally ancient song (“Air ‘em out” by clipping. [sic]), which was too tight a coincidence to pass up. The annotated lyrics to that song, in turn, were packed with more references and discursion than this letter, many of which refer to old science fiction books and movies. This verse in particular features heavy references to The Left Hand of Darkness, including the phrase ‘Ansible’ — which shows up in other books as well — and, in turn, shows up in some of our technology: the communication system by which uploads are sent from Earth to the sim-system here at the L5 point is called ‘Ansible’. This struck me as particularly important. I found this song both in my searches on kemmer as well as on the Ansible, having taken to heart your suggestion that the clade likes ‘old things’. The Ansible turned up a third time in the context of asymetric cyphers, mentioned below.

+

That said, I’m not a fan of the final interpretation, as upon further digging, I came across the line “the key word is kemmer, that’s what yo’ ass need” in an equally ancient song (“Air ‘em out” by clipping. [sic]), which was too tight a coincidence to pass up. The annotated lyrics to that song, in turn, were packed with more references and discursion than this letter, many of which refer to old science fiction books and movies. This verse in particular features heavy references to The Left Hand of Darkness, including the phrase ‘Ansible’ — which shows up in other books as well — and, in turn, shows up in some of our technology: the communication system by which uploads are sent from Earth to the System here at the L5 point is called ‘Ansible’. This struck me as particularly important. I found this song both in my searches on kemmer as well as on the Ansible, having taken to heart your suggestion that the clade likes ‘old things’. The Ansible turned up a third time in the context of asymetric cyphers, mentioned below.

Given this additional set of coincidences, I’ve compiled a list of further references in this song for research down the line.

@@ -1885,7 +1899,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Finally, after the key block, we get a deck listing for a standard deck of playing cards. I am assuming, here, that the cards labeled AX and BX are jokers, though I have not seen them differentiated as such in the past. I am, frankly, at a loss when it comes to this section, so all I can offer are some thoughts on subtext.

-

“Your move, by the way” implies two things. First, it implies that there is some sort of ongoing game going on between Qoheleth and the clade. This strikes me as strange, and I cannot put my finger on why. It is not that you do not seem the type to play games, as you seem playful enough to me. Perhaps it’s that the letter begins with riddles about the true identity of Qoheleth, yet any ongoing game (and such a weird way to provide it!) would perforce give away that identity immediately. Perhaps it is simply this — all of this — that is the game?

+

“Your move, by the way” implies two things. First, it implies that there is some sort of ongoing game between Qoheleth and the clade. This strikes me as strange, and I cannot put my finger on why. It is not that you do not seem the type to play games, as you seem playful enough to me. Perhaps it’s that the letter begins with riddles about the true identity of Qoheleth, yet any ongoing game (and such a weird way to provide it!) would perforce give away that identity immediately. Perhaps it is simply this — all of this — that is the game?

The second implication is broader, and consequently more of a hunch on my part: this is a very casual thing to say to someone. For one, to have a non sequitur of a postscript on a letter that seems very focused on a single topic is a strange thing to do. It’s the type of thing you might do when sending a friendly letter to someone rather than a riddle of a message (I will admit, I’m considering what postscript I leave at the end of this letter now). The tone also differs from the remainder of the letter. It is familiar and friendly. The only thing that is even remotely close being “Let’s meet, yes?”, and even that feels more formal.

@@ -1899,8 +1913,8 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

PS - In engaging with this project, my searches and purchases on the exchange are shaping my reputation quite strangely. #Tracker has received several queries for future projects surrounding both novel forms of encryption and a few requests for historical analyses on speculative fiction. Ey has turned down all of the former and seriously considered all of the latter — and ey wishes you to know that ey places the blame for this squarely on your shoulders.

-

-Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112 +

+Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112

“Avery. What’s up?”

@@ -1989,7 +2003,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Most of the team gathered around the fridge and microwave by the coffee station to collect their lunches. She hadn’t had the time or energy this morning. Lunch out it was.

-

At least she wouldn’t be alone. There were a few folks who made their way across the street from the campus building to the shops, hunting falafel or curry. She put on her best chummy face and tagged along with. The group chatted, inevitably but amiably, about work, comparing notes on the cases they were focusing on.

+

At least she wouldn’t be alone. There was a small coterie who made their way across the street from the campus building to the shops, hunting falafel or curry. She put on her best chummy face and tagged along with. The group chatted, inevitably but amiably, about work, comparing notes on the cases they were focusing on.

The group — three of them, with Carter — decided on a small Vietnamese place nearby. It would be a long lunch, with the wait and all, but she was promised that the food was amazing. Besides: Friday. Even the boss can enjoy a lunch every now and then.

@@ -1999,7 +2013,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

“Hey, don’t look at me like that. I promise I read it for the laughs,” he said.

-

Carter shrugged, “It’s less about why you’re reading it, and more who you’re giving money…”

+

Carter shrugged, “It’s less about why you reading it, and more who you’re giving money…”

Prakash and Aiden stood in silence, eyes on Carter. They exchanged glances before Prakash broke in, “Hey boss, you doing okay?”

@@ -2047,8 +2061,8 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

She was distracted, thankfully, by the host inviting them in to eat.

-

-RJ Brewster — 2112 +

+AwDae — 2112

It took AwDae just under two hours to find the microphone.

@@ -2065,7 +2079,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Ey slouched in an auditorium seat and pulled out the slip of paper with Cicero’s transactions. Ey had found that if ey focused on the page just so, rows would sort themselves by columns, so ey spent a few minutes aimlessly zooming through the page of digits.

-

Ey scanned over the titles of the initiatives voted on. Very little there to latch onto. Or, rather, way too much. AwDae couldn’t hope to boil down the table into any single sentence, much less something useful. The cat had apparently voted on just about everything, without taking any breaks.

+

Ey scanned over the titles of the initiatives voted on. Very little there to latch onto. Or, rather, way too much. AwDae couldn’t hope to boil down the table into any single sentence, much less something useful. The cat had apparently voted on just about everything without taking any breaks.

Eventually, when neat rows of letters began to blur into one another, ey levered emself up from the seat. Paper refolded, ey slipped it back into a pocket before checking on the board once more. Everything remained set as it was.

@@ -2089,15 +2103,15 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

The sound stopped a scant few moments after, bouncing around the auditorium and the student center. Echoes.

-

Eir ears slowly uncringed. The school was silent once more.

+

Eir ears slowly uncringed. Ey pocketed the mic in eir trouser pockets and straightened up. The school was silent once more.

-

Remembering the position where ey had found it, AwDae straightened up, wandered back over to the auditorium, turning the gain down on the board and lowering the house volume to a reasonable level. Ey even turned the mic back on and mumbled a quick “one-two” to ensure that none of the speakers had been damaged.

+

Remembering the position where ey had found it, AwDae pocketed the mic and straightened up, wandered back over to the auditorium, turning the gain down on the board and lowering the house volume to a reasonable level. Ey even turned the mic back on and mumbled a quick “one-two” to ensure that none of the speakers had been damaged.

This is a sim. Not even mine, ey thought, the inside of eir ears flushed warm with embarrassment. What does it matter if a speaker blew?

Ey shrugged it off. Habits were habits. No reason to break them now.

-

Back to the admin office, then. AwDae couldn’t help but feel as though ey was trapped within a game. One of those first-person puzzle solvers that seemed forever popular. One of eir favorite of the genres.

+

Back to the admin office, then. AwDae couldn’t help but feel as though ey was trapped within a game. One of those first-person puzzle solvers that seemed forever popular. One of eir favorite genres.

It was surprising the adroitness with which eir perspective had shifted. Sobbing: now behind em.

@@ -2157,9 +2171,9 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Ey snagged the half-used pencil and the rest of the scrap and worked it out. Each cost and comment would be a debit, and each bounty would be a credit. One could also buy DDR credits through a mechanism that basically acted as an additional withholding on one’s taxes. There were two of those in there, possibly ensuring that Cicero would have enough DDR credit to make what AwDae assumed was some scathing political snipe on an upcoming high-stakes referendum.

-

Even so, it was clear that the section of numbers on the paper, a month’s worth, perhaps, didn’t add up. Once more, there was a missing interaction. Three missing interactions, rather: one vote’s cost, one vote’s comment, and one vote’s bounty, at AwDae’s best guess. Perhaps a few smaller votes to add up to those totals? It was recent, too. A few days before he had gotten lost.

+

Even so, it was clear that the section of numbers on the paper, a month’s worth, perhaps, didn’t add up. Once more, there was a missing interaction. Three missing interactions, rather: one vote’s cost, one vote’s comment, and one vote’s bounty, at AwDae’s best guess. Perhaps a few smaller votes to add up to those totals? It was recent, too. A few days before he had gotten lost

-

Except that one’s DDR records were public. Not which way one voted, but that one had voted. Comments were public perforce. The information had to be public for the system to work.

+

Except one’s DDR records were public. Not which way one voted, but that one had voted. Comments were public perforce. The information had to be public for the system to work.

Unless it had been tampered with, there was a combination of 1,252,000 credits unaccounted for in terms of transactions. One million debit to the comment, a quarter of a million credit for bounty, and two thousand to the vote cost.

@@ -2185,7 +2199,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash ) Qoheleth — 2305 -

Transcript of Node: [bea0cf302fcd00863f0c67a91b1a75c0e4ba4863] with descriptive text by #d5b14aa.

+

Transcript of Node: [bea0cf302fcd00863f0c67a91b1a75c0e4ba4863] with descriptive text by #d5b1a4aa.

The footage shows two persons. One of them has to be Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled, who is an up-tree branch of the Ode clade, eighth stanza. No one else has ears that big, nobody else can somehow speak in italics. The other took some research, but I am confident that ey is an instance of Ioan Bălan, a historian and writer. Ey is a tracker, but only just, as eir habits tend toward few to no long-running instances. This instance is either #tracker or one tasked to this project. @@ -2196,9 +2210,12 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

-

Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled: Thank you for your letter, Ioan. Lots of really good stuff in there, most of which I had missed simply out of nearsightedness.

- -

Ioan Bălan: You’ve got me hooked on this project, I have to say. It’s fascinating stuff.

+
+
Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled
+
Thank you for your letter, Ioan. Lots of really good stuff in there, most of which I had missed simply out of nearsightedness.
+
Ioan Bălan
+
You’ve got me hooked on this project, I have to say. It’s fascinating stuff.
+

@@ -2206,15 +2223,18 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

-

Dear We — that is, some other Odists down-tree from me — have come up with some further hints about the message.

- -

Ioan: Oh? Anything good?

- -

Dear: I suppose it depends on your definition of good.

- -

Ioan: [snark, good natured] Oh great. Excited already. [more earnest] The fascination continues. Well, let’s have it.

- -

Dear: So, one of us did an exhaustive search of some records and found an old archive server running somewhere.

+
+
Dear
+
We — that is, some other Odists down-tree from me — have come up with some further hints about the message.
+
Ioan
+
Oh? Anything good?
+
Dear
+
I suppose it depends on your definition of good.
+
Ioan
+
[snark, good natured] Oh great. Excited already. [more earnest] The fascination continues. Well, let’s have it.
+
Dear
+
So, one of us did an exhaustive search of some records and found an old archive server running somewhere.
+

@@ -2222,17 +2242,20 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

-

Ioan: Wait, start at the top. What were they searching?

- -

Dear: They were searching for the block of encrypted text — not what was in it; they cracked that long ago. They searched for the encrypted text itself, and they came across an archive server.

- -

Ioan: Old node boxes? Wow, even I feel crusty using one of those, and I’m a historian.

- -

Dear: [laughter] They found the archive server though, and there is a bunch of intriguing stuff on it. New, old, the whole thing. There is stuff from ages ago, shortly after we got here, and stuff from a few hours ago.

- -

Ioan: You’re kidding. Newly created stuff?

- -

Dear: I know. It is ridiculous.

+
+
Ioan
+
Wait, start at the top. What were they searching?
+
Dear
+
They were searching for the block of encrypted text — not what was in it; they cracked that long ago. They searched for the encrypted text itself, and they came across an archive server.
+
Ioan
+
Old node boxes? Wow, even I feel crusty using one of those, and I’m a historian.
+
Dear
+
[laughter] They found the archive server though, and there is a bunch of intriguing stuff on it. New, old, the whole thing. There is stuff from ages ago, shortly after we got here, and stuff from a few hours ago.
+
Ioan
+
You’re kidding. Newly created stuff?
+
Dear
+
I know. It is ridiculous.
+

@@ -2240,11 +2263,14 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

-

Ioan: Never met anyone who could actually get one working well enough to add new nodes. So the encrypted text was in a node on the server?

- -

Dear: Yes. It is still there. [pause] Just sent the URI.

- -

Ioan: I…well, I’ll have to take it at your word that it’s the same as the one you found earlier, I’m not going character by character.

+
+
Ioan
+
Never met anyone who could actually get one working well enough to add new nodes. So the encrypted text was in a node on the server?
+
Dear
+
Yes. It is still there. [pause] Just sent the URI.
+
Ioan
+
I…well, I’ll have to take it at your word that it’s the same as the one you found earlier, I’m not going character by character.
+

@@ -2252,11 +2278,14 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

-

Dear: Of course, Ioan. I promise it is the same, though. Needless to say, we found a crusty old archive with the block on it, and there are other public nodes on there as well. I am guessing a bunch of private ones, too.

- -

Ioan: Anything good in those?

- -

Dear: Nothing…penetrable. It is all fairly opaque. To me, at least.

+
+
Dear
+
Of course, Ioan. I promise it is the same, though. Needless to say, we found a crusty old archive with the block on it, and there are other public nodes on there as well. I am guessing a bunch of private ones, too.
+
Ioan
+
Anything good in those?
+
Dear
+
Nothing…penetrable. It is all fairly opaque. To me, at least.
+

@@ -2264,9 +2293,12 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

-

Ioan: Thus us meeting?

- -

Dear: [nodding] Yes. The only bit that I have any insight into is the deck listing, which I think might be another bit of old encryption–

+
+
Ioan
+
Thus us meeting?
+
Dear
+
[nodding] Yes. The only bit that I have any insight into is the deck listing, which I think might be another bit of old encryption–
+

@@ -2274,13 +2306,16 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

-

Dear: My sentiments exactly. It is another encryption scheme which relies on a deck of cards for a stream of random numbers. I have not dug into it in years because the decryption process is so slow, but there may be a node on that box containing the encrypted text.

- -

Ioan: Want me to have a look, then? The techier stuff is going to go right over my head, you know that.

- -

Dear: It is not all tech, promise. I just want you to give it a read and see what you pick up from it, you know? Put your amanuensis hat on and just spend some time experiencing.

- -

Ioan: You think highly of me. No complaints, of course, but I feel I have to ask, why can’t someone from your own clade fill this role?

+
+
Dear
+
My sentiments exactly. It is another encryption scheme which relies on a deck of cards for a stream of random numbers. I have not dug into it in years because the decryption process is so slow, but there may be a node on that box containing the encrypted text.
+
Ioan
+
Want me to have a look, then? The techier stuff is going to go right over my head, you know that.
+
Dear
+
It is not all tech, promise. I just want you to give it a read and see what you pick up from it, you know? Put your amanuensis hat on and just spend some time experiencing.
+
Ioan
+
You think highly of me. No complaints, of course, but I feel I have to ask, why can’t someone from your own clade fill this role?
+

@@ -2288,15 +2323,18 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

-

Dear: We…differ. The Odists, I mean.

- -

Ioan: “Differ”? Within the clade?

- -

Dear: Yes. A hallmark of Dispersionistas is that we treat each of our forks as fully-realized individuals. We may have a shared past, but from the point we fork onward, we grow ever further apart.

- -

Ioan: I assume you mean more than just a matter of increasing conflicts.

- -

Dear: Yes. Although we Odists limit our instances to the one hundred available names, we still consider ourselves Dispersionistas as we never merge back down-tree. But, that aside, we also want someone out-clade for this. I want someone out-clade for this.

+
+
Dear
+
We…differ. The Odists, I mean.
+
Ioan
+
“Differ”? Within the clade?
+
Dear
+
Yes. A hallmark of Dispersionistas is that we treat each of our forks as fully-realized individuals. We may have a shared past, but from the point we fork onward, we grow ever further apart.
+
Ioan
+
I assume you mean more than just a matter of increasing conflicts.
+
Dear
+
Yes. Although we Odists limit our instances to the one hundred available names, we still consider ourselves Dispersionistas as we never merge back down-tree. But, that aside, we also want someone out-clade for this. I want someone out-clade for this.
+

@@ -2304,9 +2342,12 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

-

Ioan: Do the other Odists not like that I’ve been brought on?

- -

Dear: Of the ones who know, most are fine with it.

+
+
Ioan
+
Do the other Odists not like that I’ve been brought on?
+
Dear
+
Of the ones who know, most are fine with it.
+

@@ -2314,21 +2355,27 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

-

Ioan: “The ones who know”?

- -

Dear: You have, of course, noticed that you have not interacted with any of my cocladists. I have told some about hiring you, but not all.

- -

Ioan: Alright, I suppose. If you’re independent, then I guess it makes sense that I be your amanuensis rather than the clade’s.

- -

Dear: Yes. Perhaps more evidence that we are split on how to tackle this in the first place. Different camps, different strategies, infighting. Ioan, you have to understand that, when a clade gets old, it starts to get a little batty.

+
+
Ioan
+
“The ones who know”?
+
Dear
+
You have, of course, noticed that you have not interacted with any of my cocladists. I have told some about hiring you, but not all.
+
Ioan
+
Alright, I suppose. If you’re independent, then I guess it makes sense that I be your amanuensis rather than the clade’s.
+
Dear
+
Yes. Perhaps more evidence that we are split on how to tackle this in the first place. Different camps, different strategies, infighting. Ioan, you have to understand that, when a clade gets old, it starts to get a little batty.
+

-Calm down fox, I’m working on it. Not so frantic. +Calm down fox, I am working on it. Not so frantic.

-

Dear: Some clades try to get around this by keeping a certain core group of instances — talking mostly Dispersionistas, mind — in a setting that keeps them as sane as possible. Something that feels very ‘normal’. Or maybe some are researching forking from earlier points, from down-tree, rather than from where they are now.

+
+
Dear
+
Some clades try to get around this by keeping a certain core group of instances — talking mostly Dispersionistas, mind — in a setting that keeps them as sane as possible. Something that feels very ‘normal’. Or maybe some are researching forking from earlier points, from down-tree, rather than from where they are now.
+

@@ -2336,9 +2383,12 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

-

Dear: We do not. First of all, we started way too early on for that to be a thing. We trusted that change itself would keep us sane, that as instances diverged, especially with mutation algos in place, they would change enough to keep us from falling apart.

- -

Ioan: And that didn’t work?

+
+
Dear
+
We do not. First of all, we started way too early on for that to be a thing. We trusted that change itself would keep us sane, that as instances diverged, especially with mutation algos in place, they would change enough to keep us from falling apart.
+
Ioan
+
And that didn’t work?
+

@@ -2346,25 +2396,31 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

-

Dear: It kind of worked, I will put it that way. I feel fairly well rounded, as much as that means, and I am sure those across the clade from me do too, but it is complicated. You might not recognize my cocladists as Odists without knowing beforehand. It is like having a very close sib that was raised by a different family in a different sim.

- -

Ioan: More different than you’d expect, then?

- -

Dear: ‘Expect’…fits strangely for this. The problem is that they are still us, and we are still them. Clades are families of separate individuals in a lot of ways, but you must realize that, in the end, they are still one individual. We are more different than one individual should be. Does that make sense?

+
+
Dear
+
It kind of worked, I will put it that way. I feel fairly well rounded, as much as that means, and I am sure those across the clade from me do too, but it is complicated. You might not recognize my cocladists as Odists without knowing beforehand. It is like having a very close sib that was raised by a different family in a different sim.
+
Ioan
+
More different than you’d expect, then?
+
Dear
+
‘Expect’…fits strangely for this. The problem is that they are still us, and we are still them. Clades are families of separate individuals in a lot of ways, but you must realize that, in the end, they are still one individual. We are more different than one individual should be. Does that make sense?
+

-It does, Dear. That’s why I’m doing this. +It does, Dear. That is why I am doing this.

-

Ioan: I guess so. [pause] So some of your clade would prefer I not be a part of this?

- -

Dear: More than that. They feel that investigating the matter of the Name being written is too risky, too close to investigating the Name itself.

- -

Ioan: I don’t know how I would respond to that.

- -

Dear: That is my field, Ioan. Do not worry about it.

+
+
Ioan
+
I guess so. [pause] So some of your clade would prefer I not be a part of this?
+
Dear
+
More than that. They feel that investigating the matter of the Name being written is too risky, too close to investigating the Name itself.
+
Ioan
+
I don’t know how I would respond to that.
+
Dear
+
That is my field, Ioan. Do not worry about it.
+

@@ -2372,19 +2428,22 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

-

Ioan: Sorry, Dear. I hope I’m not overstepping at all.

- -

Dear: [calmer] Do not worry about it. It is okay, I promise. It is just that we are really good at arguing, so I have been dealing with that quite a bit the last few days. That is why I hired you; I am relegated to an administration role so I am a bit on edge. Let’s get back to the archive server, yes?

- -

Ioan: Sure thing. Where did you say your cocladists had found it?

- -

Dear: Just in a search. I do not quite know the details about how. Assuming just a text search of the perisystem. Not too sure on the terminology; I bought into being an artist pretty hard. All that knowledge is in exos.

- -

Ioan: [laughter] No worries there, Dear. I’m trying to keep up with you is all. I was just wondering if they found anything else.

- -

Dear: You mean like the other nodes on the server?

- -

Ioan: I’ll poke around at those, look for ties and such. I was more wondering if they’d found anything in their search that didn’t meet the relevancy threshold for them. Stuff like back-links to the server, or anyone talking about this Qoheleth. Hebel. Whichever.

+
+
Ioan
+
Sorry, Dear. I hope I’m not overstepping at all.
+
Dear
+
[calmer] Do not worry about it. It is okay, I promise. It is just that we are really good at arguing, so I have been dealing with that quite a bit the last few days. That is why I hired you; I am relegated to an administration role so I am a bit on edge. Let us get back to the archive server, yes?
+
Ioan
+
Sure thing. Where did you say your cocladists had found it?
+
Dear
+
Just in a search. I do not quite know the details about how. Assuming just a text search of the perisystem. Not too sure on the terminology; I bought into being an artist pretty hard. All that knowledge is in exos.
+
Ioan
+
[laughter] No worries there, Dear. I’m trying to keep up with you is all. I was just wondering if they found anything else.
+
Dear
+
You mean like the other nodes on the server?
+
Ioan
+
I’ll poke around at those, look for ties and such. I was more wondering if they’d found anything in their search that didn’t meet the relevancy threshold for them. Stuff like back-links to the server, or anyone talking about this Qoheleth. Hebel. Whichever.
+

@@ -2392,35 +2451,41 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

-

Dear: I had not really thought to ask. I do not suppose they did, though. Do you think it is worth having them search around more? Lowering the, uh, relevancy threshold? [laughter]

- -

Ioan: Yeah, I think so. Though now that I’ve got it too, I can do some of that digging myself. I want to see who likes the Tanakh so much as to name themselves that. And why ‘kemmer’.

- -

Dear: I…well, it’s complicated and out of scope, but it relating to fluidity of gender is relevant to the clade as a whole. Very big for us, if only at a remove. I have opted out.

- -

Ioan: So I noticed. It makes sense, though.

- -

Dear: I am glad someone is thinking about this stuff. You are sounding more like a–

- -

Ioan: Private investigator?

- -

Dear: [laughter] I was going to say historian, sounding more like an historian every time we talk. But you never know, maybe you would make a good PI.

+
+
Dear
+
I had not really thought to ask. I do not suppose they did, though. Do you think it is worth having them search around more? Lowering the, uh, relevancy threshold? [laughter]
+
Ioan
+
Yeah, I think so. Though now that I’ve got it too, I can do some of that digging myself. I want to see who likes the Tanakh so much as to name themselves that. And why ‘kemmer’.
+
Dear
+
I…well, it is complicated and out of scope, but it relating to fluidity of gender is relevant to the clade as a whole. Very big for us, if only at a remove. I have opted out.
+
Ioan
+
So I noticed. It makes sense, though.
+
Dear
+
I am glad someone is thinking about this stuff. You are sounding more like a–
+
Ioan
+
Private investigator?
+
Dear
+
[laughter] I was going to say historian, sounding more like an historian every time we talk. But you never know, maybe you would make a good PI.
+

-That was fast! I may have less time than I had thought. Dear’s lovely, and it’s totally right: on the other side of the clade, there are some who’d not like this kind of digging. Too entrenched. Too Conservative. +That was fast! I may have less time than I had thought. Dear is lovely, and it is totally right: on the other side of the clade, there are some who would not like this kind of digging. Too entrenched. Too Conservative.

-

Ioan: I can’t tell whether or not I should be flattered.

- -

Dear: It is a good thing. Just keep digging, and we will too. I will be about. Got a few more things to wrap up to finish the current gallery exhibition, but after that, I am just going to work on this — with you if you do not mind — and try and figure out what is even happening in the clade. Do keep in touch, yes? Ping me whenever.

- -

Ioan: Will do. [pause] Wait, you’re an instance artist, right?

- -

Dear: Yes. Why do you ask?

- -

Ioan: Why don’t you fork to work on both at the same time?

+
+
Ioan
+
I can’t tell whether or not I should be flattered.
+
Dear
+
It is a good thing. Just keep digging, and we will too. I will be about. Got a few more things to wrap up to finish the current gallery exhibition, but after that, I am just going to work on this — with you if you do not mind — and try and figure out what is even happening in the clade. Do keep in touch, yes? Ping me whenever.
+
Ioan
+
Will do. [pause] Wait, you’re an instance artist, right?
+
Dear
+
Yes. Why do you ask?
+
Ioan
+
Why don’t you fork to work on both at the same time?
+

@@ -2431,8 +2496,8 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash ) No time to dawdle watching Ioan try and figure out up-tree instances, though. Must be getting ready. Quit this instance, flush the server of extraneous crap to guide Ioan a little more effectively — yeesh, how old is some of this stuff? Need to re-encrypt a bunch of it anyway — and maybe get ready for some visitors.

-

-Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112 +

+Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112

Carter hadn’t meant to dodge her subordinate’s question. They truly did need to go in to eat.

@@ -2539,8 +2604,8 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

Johansson looked up to his cast, then leaned a little closer to murmur, “O’Niell’s, once we’re done. Then we can talk. I have more to do here, so it may be a while. Please wait up, though.”

-

-RJ Brewster — 2112 +

+AwDae — 2112

Sleep did not come easily.

@@ -2557,7 +2622,7 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash )

The back of the room was sectioned off into a wardrobe area, housing costumes and rack upon rack of identical tuxes and dresses for the choir singers. Nestled behind all of these rows of clothing was a sofa, old and sagging.

-

There was zero reason for the room to contain a sofa. Ey did not remember one being there the few times ey tagged along with Sasha. As inexplicable as it was, however, AwDae wouldn’t have been surprised if such a thing had existed in the school when ey had attended.

+

There was zero reason for the room to contain a sofa. Ey did not remember one being there the few times ey tagged along with Sasha. As inexplicable as it was, however, AwDae wouldn’t have been surprised if such a thing had existed in the school ey when had attended.

Thanking whoever had created this sim, ey flopped down onto it. Musty smell intensified, lingered, settled.

@@ -2619,15 +2684,13 @@ turnToAnchor( window.location.hash ) Qoheleth — 2305 -

-Archive: [Hebel Qoheleth] -

+

Archive: [Hebel Qoheleth]

-

Node: [7cbc92e691678c4c17a04f5553cd1058ee122956]

+

Node: [7cbc92e691678c4c17a04f5553cd1058ee122956]

[Encrypted]

-

Node: [32c5a64b66d0338be4373d796cf1eae5343f1077]

+

Node: [32c5a64b66d0338be4373d796cf1eae5343f1077]

 OCYNX GRIMN CYJPE PNNXS SCIQZ
@@ -2638,11 +2701,11 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW
-

Node: [36b1d8c1df07ce0f254b2332acd38c59bdf3bb00]

+

Node: [36b1d8c1df07ce0f254b2332acd38c59bdf3bb00]

[Encrypted]

-

Node: [67e97446cdbe3a4a3cfd5ebd75b1260f] Error

+

Node: [67e97446cdbe3a4a3cfd5ebd75b1260f] Error

The node you have requested, [67e97446cdbe3a4a3cfd5ebd75b1260f], does not appear to be an Archive node. You have provided a 32 byte identifier; the Archive system uses 40 byte identifiers.

@@ -2650,11 +2713,11 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

If you believe that you have the correct identifier, you may have attempted to access it on the wrong system. Please check the Gist system for a possible match.

-

Node: [80b42deb4c364cac5937cff9ca306625b69ae7c5]

+

Node: [80b42deb4c364cac5937cff9ca306625b69ae7c5]

[Encrypted]

-

Node: [bea0cf302fcd00863f0c67a91b1a75c0e4ba4863]

+

Node: [bea0cf302fcd00863f0c67a91b1a75c0e4ba4863]

Security Footage @@ -2678,23 +2741,23 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Node: 172fb56e982d2d3f08957c5f7be0779bbf2f6aa6

-

Node: [172fb56e982d2d3f08957c5f7be0779bbf2f6aa6]

+

Node: [172fb56e982d2d3f08957c5f7be0779bbf2f6aa6]

Transcript of Ioan Bălan and Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled speaking at a cafe.

-

Node: [f6981a0738b43275059c37a9c8b744e42eb91fb9]

+

Node: [f6981a0738b43275059c37a9c8b744e42eb91fb9]

[Encrypted]

-

-Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112 +

+Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112

Johansson’s hands dwarfed a pint of ale.

-

Once they had managed to find each other in the post-theater crush of the pub, they staked out a small two-top table crammed against one end of the bar itself. Johansson leaned to the side, away from the noise of too many voices.

+

Once they had managed to find each other in the post-theater crush of the pub, they staked out a small two-top table crammed against one end of the bar itself. Johansson to lean to the side, away from the noise of too many voices.

He’d hardly touched the beer, but it seemed to take on an almost talismanic significance to him. Something to hold. Something to focus the thoughts. Carter drank her own cider slowly and waited, careful not to press her luck too hard. Johansson seemed slow to open up.

@@ -2716,7 +2779,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“An impasse?”

-

“Yeah.” Carter leaned back in her chair to gather her thoughts. “I’ve been on a few projects over the years. None were easy, but all the same, this one has a weird amount of interference. It feels like we’re being made to trudge through mud. They won’t give us access to the patients? Fine. That’s PHI. We just need the data that they collect from them, right? So why is that always so heavily redacted. Why aren’t we getting that? It’s never been a problem on any other project.

+

“Yeah.” Carter leaned back in her chair to gather her thoughts. “I’ve been on a few projects over the years. None were easy, but all the same, this one has a weird amount of interference. It feels like we’re being made to trudge through mud. They won’t give us access to the patients? Fine. That’s PII. We just need the data that they collect from them, right? So why is that always so heavily redacted. Why aren’t we getting that? It’s never been a problem on any other project.

“All we’re getting are little tidbits. A few hours of monitor scans, little clips of logs from before the event, and that’s it. I don’t mean to creep on you or anything, but with RJ, we’ve come across something we hadn’t had before. We found out ey was, well, you know…”

@@ -2750,7 +2813,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

It felt necessary. They both stared off into the pub. The room held the distinctly British dichotomy of being crowded and convivial, while also intensely conscious of personal space. The latter suffered as the night went on.

-

“You know,” Johansson began, the rich baritone bringing Carter’s attention back to the conversation.

+

“You know,” Johansson began, bringing Carter’s attention back to the conversation.

“Hmm?”

@@ -2796,8 +2859,8 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“To RJ.”

-

-RJ Brewster — 2112 +

+AwDae — 2112

AwDae stood in the sunlight, blinking.

@@ -2810,13 +2873,13 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

There was even a fog of war.

-

“So much bullshit,” ey laughed bitterly. No sense in keeping quiet.

+

“So much bullshit.” Ey laughed bitterly. No sense in keeping quiet.

Ey stripped down to eir underwear, hesitated, then stripped that off as well and shook eir fur out.

‘Comfort’ was the wrong word to use in regards a sim. It was a matter of sensory inputs that the system was set up to provide. The musty smell of the auditorium seats had been one thing, but ey was starting to get the impression that, given the way this sim was constructed, there would be rather more than less input. Eir tux was decidedly uncomfortable, not made for fox-people, and so eir fur was decidedly mussed.

-

Ey folded eir clothes and set them on the sidewalk in front of the school.The cool grass provided a welcome change from the indoor-outdoor carpet and tile inside, the roughness of the concrete out here.

+

Ey folded eir clothes and set them on the sidewalk in front of the school. The cool grass provided a welcome change from the indoor-outdoor carpet and tile inside, the roughness of the concrete out here.

“Alright. So. Problems.” Ey plucked viciously at a few close-mown blades of grass and held them pinched between eir pawpads. “Cicero is lost. He was voting on a bunch of stuff as usual, leading the comment boards. He voted on something and it made it to the floor, but it doesn’t show in the records.” Ey plucked blades of grass with eir free paw, enumerating the facts. “No vote cost, no bounty, no comment.”

@@ -2930,7 +2993,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

The archive itself was a free-form database stored in the perisystem. It could hold essentially unlimited data in truly unlimited formats. Everything from text and structured data to full-sensorium recordings. Each blob of data was stored in a node, and nodes could be tagged and linked.

-

Unfashionable and difficult to work with, not to mention expensive to maintain, Ioan wasn’t entirely clear why they had been added to the system. Exocortices had been around before the system itself. More personal, easier to interface with. Harder to share, granted.

+

Unfashionable and difficult to work with, not to mention expensive to maintain, Ioan wasn’t entirely clear why they had been added to the system. Exocortices had been around before the System itself. More personal, easier to interface with. Harder to share, granted.

Some remnant from its construction, perhaps?

@@ -2970,8 +3033,8 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Ioan#c1494bf shook eir head and apologized. Perhaps ey should take Dear up on the offer to stay with it and its partner.

-

-RJ Brewster — 2112 +

+AwDae — 2112

AwDae was unsurprised to find home unlocked.

@@ -2988,11 +3051,11 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Perhaps it was that it was all too silent. Silent as school had been.

-

AwDae shrugged out of the rucksack and set it down in the entryway. It was precisely the space where rucksacks went. It was precisely the space where ey had set eirs countless times growing up. Ey did as ey had always done and padded into the common area, toenails clicking against the tile of the entryway, and then the hardwood floor. Floors which had never seen fox paws.

+

AwDae shrugged out of the rucksack and set it down in the entryway. It was precisely the space where rucksacks went. It was precisely the space where ey had set eirs countless times growing up. Ey did as ey had always done and Despite bracing emself for it, there was still padded into the common area, toenails clicking against the tile of the entryway, and then the hardwood floor. Floors which had never seen fox paws.

The sensation, that uncanny mix of home and wrong, quickly grew to overwhelming. The fox sat down on the rug in front of the coffee table. Eir spot. Eir spot, where ey had sat to eat dinner countless times. Eir spot, where ey watched TV, those old sci-fi movies, with eir mom’s boyfriend.

-

It was one thing for the house to be so painfully empty and another entirely to be here as AwDae and not RJ. Perhaps ey could have held each of those concepts in eir mind independently, were ey to only experience one at a time. The two combined were too much. Ey felt eir breath as short, shallow gasps. Ey felt eir vision constricting. Ey felt eir heart race no matter how still ey sat. Ey felt all these things happening to em with an increasing sense of detachment. Ey found it hard to concentrate on what ey was even supposed to be.

+

It was one thing for the house to be so painfully empty and another entirely to be here as AwDae and not RJ. Perhaps ey could have held each of those concepts in eir mind independently were ey to only experience one at a time. The two combined were too much. Ey felt eir breath as short, shallow gasps. Ey felt eir vision constricting. Ey felt eir heart race no matter how still ey sat. Ey felt all these things happening to em with an increasing sense of detachment. Ey found it hard to concentrate on what ey was even supposed to be.

Is my pulse elevated offline, wherever that is? @@ -3005,11 +3068,13 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

AwDae leaned forward, stretching eir legs out behind em. Ey laid flat on eir floor, on eir oh-so-familiar rug, bafflingly present in eir bafflingly present home. Laid flat, then rolled over onto eir side. Eir tail lay limp against the short pile of the rug behind em.

-How had this happened? What did I do? Why here? Why me? What did I do to deserve this? +How did this happen? What did I do? Why here? Why me? What did I do to deserve this?

Eir mind was awhirl with words. With questions, and only questions. Ey didn’t have answers. No answers inside, none before em, none in the house. Answers were a thing that did not– could not exist here. Answers a thing that happened to other people.

+

“Why ask questions when the answers will not help?”

+

Ey did not have the mental bandwidth required to do anything other than watch questions swirl. Ey was at a loss for images in this end of days. Ey was an observer. Nothing more than a set of eyes with no will, no drive. No urge to move those eyes as ey watched all of the emotion that had been held at bay, held back with the sense of doing something over the last day and change. All that emotion surge.

Eir actions had been all wrong. Ey had accepted getting lost with resignation. Ey had leapt at the chance to solve the ‘puzzle’ of the microphone with something akin to excitement. Ey had found a new set of clothes with a casualness befitting a trip to the thrift store. All this when ey should have been experiencing terror. Doing all these things when ey should have been breaking down into sobs at the fact that ey had been struck with some sort of incurable…what? Incurable disease? Ey was lost.

@@ -3022,14 +3087,14 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Words unbidden were calming. The heaving gasps for air began to slow, and ey wiped eir tears away in a smooth, slicking motion that flattened eir tall ears against eir head.

-

Struggling to bring those two parts of emself into alignment once more, AwDae levered emself up heavily. Ey leaned on one paw while the other straightened the fur of eir face, brushing the last aftershocks of that non-sadness away in a careful, calculated gesture. Intentional. A setting-aside of emotion.

+

Struggling to bring those two parts of emself into alignment once more, AwDae levered emself up heavily. Ey leaned on one paw while the other straightened the fur of eir face, brushing the last aftershocks of that not-quite-sadness away in a careful, calculated gesture. Intentional. A setting-aside of emotion.

Perhaps eir initial reaction had been wrong on the emotional side, but correct on the intellectual. Ey would have to at least figure out why. There would be no sharing it, no telling others, no end game other than the knowledge of a task complete.

It was just the only thing left here in this null space that had any meaning.

-

-Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112 +

+Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112

Carter dreamed of shadows.

@@ -3176,7 +3241,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“And others don’t?”

-

Dear shrugged. “I am perhaps in a minority, on this subject. I think that there is a story, and there are a few others who see it my way. Most of my branch does. But much of the clade is concerned only about the Name.”

+

Dear shrugged. “I am perhaps in a minority, on this subject. I think that there is a story, and there are a few others who see it my way. Most of my stanza does. But much of the clade is concerned only about the Name.”

Stepping over to the next picture, Ioan formulated their response, but was preempted by the fox.

@@ -3184,26 +3249,26 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“Are they the story?” Ioan frowned, backtracked. “You think there’s a reason you’re being led down the path. The puzzles are part of the story, but they are, as you put it, the answer to the question that necessitated their creation.”

-

Ears perked, grin returned. “Yes. Puzzles are puzzles and sometimes worth solving in their own right. I want to know why, though. Why say the Name, yes, but why build up tension like this?”

+

Ears perked, grin returned. “Yes. Puzzles are puzzles and sometimes worth solving in their own right. I want to know why, though. Why say the Name, yes, but why build up tension like this?”

The painting: a landscape, perhaps the prairie just outside. A cloud-dotted sky, nigh photorealistic. And in the middle, a black square.

Not just black paint, but a black that seemed to eat light. A black the hurt to look at. It made Ioan uncomfortable.

-

“I think I see why you approached me,” ey said. “You are interested in the story, and want someone who lives and breathes stories.”

+

“I think I see why you approached me,” ey said. “You are interested in the story, and want someone who lives and breathes stories.”

That grin widened, and was joined by a swish of a tail. “Precisely that. There is art to be had here. It is stressful and, if my suspicions are correct, it bears a message beyond just…what, a jape? A jab at the clade? There is a point to be made here.”

“The amount that you seem to differ from the rest of your clade is surprising. Are there no other artists?”

-

“Oh, we’re all artists of a sort. Actors, mostly. A few sim designers. One of the other stanzas’ lines painted this,” it said, nodding to that unnerving black square. “But yes, we are all quite different. Perhaps you will see some day.”

+

“Oh, we are all artists of a sort. Actors, mostly. A few sim designers. One of the other stanzas’ lines painted this,” it said, nodding to that unnerving black square. “But yes, we are all quite different. Perhaps you will see some day.”

Ioan nodded.

-

Dear’s grin had faded to some expression more thoughtful. Thankfully, not as glum. When it spoke, its voice came from some place remote. From some emotion happening elsewhere, to someone else. “Artists, yes, but increasingly few storytellers.”

+

Dear’s grin had faded to some expression more thoughtful. Thankfully, not as glum. When it spoke, its voice came from some place remote, from some emotion happening elsewhere, to someone else. “Artists, yes, but increasingly few storytellers.”

-

-RJ Brewster — 2112 +

+AwDae — 2112

@@ -3212,7 +3277,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Sasha’s words, that night in The Crown Pub, pressed in against AwDae. Pushed thoughts out of the way. Blanketed eir mind.

-

Ey lingered around the house for a few hours, laying on the floor, poking around in various rooms. All as empty and static as school had been. Eventually, ey paced back outside and across the road to the countless acres of federation-managed open space that abutted the foothills. Ey paced along a few of the trails and deer tracks, mind spinning helplessly through numb hopelessness.

+

Ey lingered around the house for a few hours, laying on the floor, poking around in various rooms. All as empty and static as school had been. Eventually, ey paced back outside and across the road to the countless acres of federation-managed open space that abutted the foothills. Ey walked a few of the trails and deer tracks, mind spinning helplessly through numb hopelessness.

There was no birdsong, and while ey occasionally heard the buzz and chirp of insects, ey never saw any.

@@ -3222,7 +3287,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Despite the dark, ey decided on another attempt at exploration. Fog be damned.

-

Ey slipped out of the house and paced around the neighborhood. Curling streets. Cul-de-sacs. Rows of townhouses. Familiar, all. Ey even made it back down to the school on the hill, searching for unexpected lights left on in the middle of night.

+

Ey slipped out of the house and wandered around the neighborhood. Curling streets. Cul-de-sacs. Rows of townhouses. Familiar, all. Ey even made it back down to the school on the hill, searching for unexpected lights left on in the middle of night.

The results were negative, unless one counted streetlights in this empty world. All the houses’ and the school’s windows were dark.

@@ -3246,7 +3311,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“All I want is something real,” AwDae growled. Fists parked on the counter in front of the sink, ey pressed firmly against the Formica. Tears stung eir eyes and, sagging, ey slowly sunk down to the cool hardwood floor. “That’s all I want.”

-

The sulk lasted a good half hour, with the fox crying off and on. It brought less catharsis than ey hoped. By the time ey levered emself back up onto eir feet, eir backside was numb and tail struck by pins and needles.

+

The sulk lasted a good half hour, with the fox crying off and on. It brought less catharsis than ey hoped. By the time ey levered emself back up onto eir feet, eir backside was numb and tail struck by pins and needles, somehow more real than it had ever felt before.

No coffee. No water. No catharsis.

@@ -3258,7 +3323,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Caitlin and Sarai would be missing em on a more personal level. AwDae was friendly with the entire company, of course, but it was those two ey had gotten closest to. Sharing that back-channel communication, that private space of the theater sim. Sharing conversation that went beyond the Troupe, beyond theater. If anyone had able to reach eir friends outside of STT, it would be them.

-

And of eir friends, Sasha was always at the front of the fox’s mind. She was the one person, excepting eir parents, who had been in eir life the longest. She was the one who understood em best, even surpassing eir parents. Sasha had to be worried, even with em having been gone for so short a time. She had to be looking for em. The skunk was even listed as eir emergency contact.

+

And of eir friends, Sasha was always at the front of the fox’s mind. She was the one person, excepting eir parents, who had been in eir life the longest. She was the one who understood em best, even surpassing eir family. Sasha had to be worried, even with em having been gone for so short a time. She had to be looking for em. The skunk was even listed as eir emergency contact.

Or perhaps, ey thought wryly. I simply want that to be the case.

@@ -3282,7 +3347,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Setting that book aside, ey pulled another down. The effect repeated itself. Stronger, this time. Ey had a hard time getting the words to settle on the pages, even starting from the beginning. Brow furrowed, ey tried with a few more books.

-

One ey hadn’t read yet — tsundoku, perhaps. Books one always means to read but never gets around to — was an unintelligible jumble of letters. No, not just letters, but marks that hinted at the idea of what it meant to be a letter. Mere shapes.

+

One ey hadn’t read yet — tsundoku, perhaps, books one always means to read but never gets around to — was an unintelligible jumble of letters. No, not just letters, but marks that hinted at the idea of what it meant to be a letter. Mere shapes.

“Well, huh.”

@@ -3332,7 +3397,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW Less than healthy.

-

There were never any complaints about the quality or quantity of work ey got done while free-running. Ey didn’t slip up or stumble. Didn’t make any more mistakes than when ey stuck to a schedule. Made fewer, perhaps. And being methodical got one quite far as an historian and writer. Ey would write the same quality work at the beginning, middle, and end of eir waking periods.

+

There were never any complaints about the quality or quantity of work ey got done while free-running. Ey didn’t slip up or stumble. Didn’t make any more mistakes than when ey stuck to a schedule. Made fewer, perhaps. And being methodical got one quite far as a historian and writer. Ey would write the same quality work at the beginning, middle, and end of eir waking periods.

What it did not do, however, was endear oneself to one’s housemates. Ioan#tracker quickly grew frustrated with eir own forks, whether or not they used a cone of silence, so ey knew the feeling intimately. It was implicit that ey would, as a fork. It was always a problem when multiple Bălan instances stayed in the same house while on separate projects, each on a separate schedule, and ey was nothing if not a Bălan.

@@ -3340,7 +3405,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

So that’s how ey found emself rubbing eir eyes in front of a simple, if painfully modern, desk in a studio apartment attached to eir…employer’s? Friend’s? Eir friend’s equally modern house.

-

The studio apartment really was a studio, too: someone — perhaps the other Odist Dear had mentioned — had used it for painting. Rightfully so: the exterior wall was floor to ceiling glass looking out over that sere prairie. The landscape, Dear’s partner had explained, was the work of Dear’s sib, Serene; Sustained and Sustaining, ‘born’ when their down-tree instance, Dear The Wheat And Rye Under The Stars had forked to explore her twinned interests of forming oneself and of forming one’s surroundings in ever greater detail.

+

The studio apartment really was a studio, too: someone — perhaps the other Odist Dear had mentioned — had used it for painting. Rightfully so: the exterior wall was floor to ceiling glass looking out over that sere prairie. The landscape, Dear’s partner had explained, was the work of Dear’s cocladist, Serene; Sustained And Sustaining, ‘born’ when their down-tree instance, Dear The Wheat And Rye Under The Stars had forked to explore her twinned interests of forming oneself and of forming one’s surroundings in ever greater detail.

Ioan’s head spun whenever ey thought about the clade, but the longer ey spent around Dear, the more ey found emself liking it. Ey was curious to get to meet another Odist.

@@ -3358,7 +3423,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“You scared the hell out of me!”

-

Dear’s serene smile widened into a grin. “Sorry, Ioan. I’ll wait until after the wall responds, next time.”

+

Dear’s serene smile widened into a grin. “Sorry, Ioan. I will wait until after the wall responds, next time.”

“Jackass.”

@@ -3366,7 +3431,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Ioan nodded and stood. “Glad to. I’m hitting a wall, here.”

-

The fennec adopted a look of concern. “Don’t hit your friends, Ioan.”

+

The fennec adopted a look of concern. “Do not hit your friends, Ioan.”

“Ha ha.” Ioan rolled eir eyes. “Something’s got you in a state today. Tonight. Whatever.”

@@ -3386,7 +3451,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

She would have to admit that she had been the source of more than a few of them, given the notification from the hospital she had received — that ey had put her down as an emergency contact was touching in a way she could not quite articulate — stating that ey had been admitted, but that, no, unless she were to arrive in person for biometrics, they would not be able to tell her what had happened.

-

No chance of that. Production season was the same in American schools as it was in Soho theaters across the Atlantic.

+

No chance of that. Production eason was the same in American schools as it was in Soho theaters across the Atlantic.

The thing that plagued her with doubts was the sheer improbability of such a thing. Ey had joined them on their own private investigation into Cicero. Had that been it? But here she was; and Debarre was, as far as she knew, still alright. Even then, how could it be that thinking about, talking about, working with data related to the lost would lead to one getting lost themselves? Wouldn’t the researchers on the case be all the more susceptible?

@@ -3410,7 +3475,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

She had settled instead on a Caitlin Wells, listed as working lights for the stage. Given all that RJ had told her about working as a tech, she would likely be both the closest to em and one of the least busy outside of work. If there were such a thing, that is. Sasha had been an actor, not a tech, and had no clue how busy those nights and days between performances were for the tech side.

-

Sasha was just thankful that email addresses had been listed for the cast members. Not the crew, but given the pattern of firstname.lastname@sttroupe.co.gb.wf, she was hoping Caitlin’s would follow suit.

+

She was just thankful that email addresses had been listed for the cast members. Not the crew, but given the pattern of firstname.lastname@sttroupe.co.gb.wf, she was hoping Caitlin’s would follow suit.

Caitlin Wells,

@@ -3464,7 +3529,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Caitlin was already there.

-

Sasha wasn’t sure whether to be surprised or not that the woman had a custom avatar. She was evidently a fan of the past, with hair swept neatly to the side to reveal an undercut. She wore a long, sleeveless tunic emblazoned with the word heh., running to mid thigh covering only leggings. Something from earlier in the century.

+

Sasha wasn’t sure whether to be surprised or not that the woman had a custom avatar. She was evidently a fan of the past, with hair swept neatly to the side to reveal an undercut. She wore a long, sleeveless tunic emblazoned with the word heh., running to mid thigh covering only leggings. Something from late the previous century.

Sasha felt strangely plain in her simple skunk av. Baggy shirt and fisherman’s pants, fashionable enough by today’s standards, did not stand up against London chic.

@@ -3510,7 +3575,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“I figured you’d be the least busy, other than maybe stage hands. Plus, RJ said lights techs were always cool.”

-

Caitlin laughed, brushing her hair back. The motion seemed automatic, as her av’s hair had hardly budged. “It’s true. Anyway, we talked. I don’t actually know what more to tell you beyond that. The rest of our relationship was work. RJ was super focused on that, and didn’t really chill with the rest of us when ey wasn’t working. I mean, we liked him and he liked us, but he was rarely a hundred percent there, you know? Ey had a cat, I know that.”

+

Caitlin laughed, brushing her hair back. The motion seemed automatic, as her av’s hair had hardly budged. “It’s true. Anyway, we talked. I don’t actually know what more to tell you beyond that. The rest of our relationship was work. RJ was super focused on that, and didn’t really chill with the rest of us when ey wasn’t working. I mean, we liked em and ey liked us, but ey was rarely a hundred percent there, you know? Ey had a cat, I know that.”

“Priscilla, yeah.”

@@ -3579,7 +3644,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“Names are good. Something other than Qoheleth?”

-“Other than that, yes, but almost certainly connected, probably the same person. I think they’re the same, at least. Not much more than the name, though. No location, no sightings in ages. Some aging — or agéd — resources. A name and some history.” +“Other than that, yes, but almost certainly connected, probably the same person. I think they are the same, at least. Not much more than the name, though. No location, no sightings in ages. Some aging — or agéd — resources. A name and some history.”

Ioan gave an impatient gesture with eir hand. “Well, what’s the hold-up?”

@@ -3600,7 +3665,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“Do not worry about it, Ioan. It really is fine.” Dear patted eir shoulder. “The name, though. The name is the important thing right now.”

-

“And the name is?” Ioan’s mind raced. Could Dear even say the name? Was it the poet, miraculously talking through years to the system? That would be exciting.

+

“And the name is?” Ioan’s mind raced. Could Dear even say the name? Was it the poet, miraculously talking through years to the System? That would be exciting.

“Life Breeds Life, But Death Must Now Be Chosen, of the Ode clade.” @@ -3638,7 +3703,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Ioan rifled through eir mental notes on the project. “Signifier…from the first encrypted note? Signifier is the password something something?”

-

Dear nodded. “Hardly anyone uses it anymore, but signifier used to be what we called the names of long-lived branches. It’s still used here and there among older clades.”

+

Dear nodded. “Hardly anyone uses it anymore, but signifier used to be what we called the names of long-lived branches. It is still used here and there among older clades.”

“Right, yeah. Ioan Bălan is my name, Ioan#c1494bf is my signifier.”

@@ -3648,7 +3713,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“Makes sense, yeah. So they’re…”

-

“They are an Odist, yes. Way, way down-tree. One of the first instances.” Dear’s smile faltered, “We were not very good at record keeping back then. We are not really now, to be honest, but the system is better. We…we did not know that he was still alive.”

+

“He is an Odist, yes. Way, way down-tree. One of the first instances.” Dear’s smile faltered, “We were not very good at record keeping back then. We are not really now, to be honest, but the System is better. We…we did not know that he was still alive.”

“Didn’t know? I thought you all talked to each other. You must, in order to keep the names straight. Wait, ‘he’?”

@@ -3671,14 +3736,14 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“How will, er…”

-“Life Breeds Life, But Death Must Now Be Chosen. Just Life is fine, too.” +“Life Breeds Life, But Death Must Now Be Chosen. Just Life is fine, too, though if he has chosen Qoheleth, we must call him Qoheleth.”

-

“How will Life react to the search? To me?”

+

“How will Qoheleth react to the search? To me?”

Dear shrugged and turned its back on Ioan.

-

The historian stood, quiet and still, and watched as the fox took a few steps deeper into the prairie, crossed its arms and stood straight, staring up into the bruised sky. “To the second bit, I do not know that it matters. They — Life, or Qoheleth, or whatever — are one of us. And even those of us who did not want any outsiders brought on board are only frowning, looking down their noses at the thought, not gathering up arms.”

+

The historian stood, quiet and still, and watched as the fox took a few steps deeper into the prairie, crossed its arms and stood straight, staring up into the bruised sky. “To the second bit, I do not know that it matters. He is one of us. And even those of us who did not want any outsiders brought on board are only frowning, looking down their noses at the thought, not gathering up arms.”

“And to the first bit?” Ioan pressed. “What do you think he will think of the search?”

@@ -3690,7 +3755,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“Both.”

-

“I think that he would probably get a kick out of it. I know that I am. Several of the others are, and the ones who are not just do not care that much or are perhaps more angry than curious.” Dear turned back around. Its arms were held tight against it’s front, guarding. Whether from cold or emotion, Ioan couldn’t tell. “As for what I feel, I feel that it is his game. He is the one running it. But even if it is a game, it is not play. There is no real fun in it, just…snark. Anger. Pride, maybe. It is a game he has worked at perfecting, and he wants us to see that.”

+

“I think that he would probably get a kick out of it. I know that am. Several of the others are, and the ones who are not just do not care that much or are perhaps more angry than curious.” Dear turned back around. Its arms were held tight against its front, guarding. Whether from cold or emotion, Ioan couldn’t tell. “As for what I feel, I feel that it is his game. He is the one running it. But even if it is a game, it is not play. There is no real fun in it, just…snark. Anger. Pride, maybe. It is a game he has worked at perfecting, and he wants us to see that.”

Ioan marveled at the change in Dear, though with this raise in stakes, ey felt some of the same.

@@ -3698,8 +3763,8 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Ioan and Dear trudged back to the low block of concrete, a bunker against the storm, as a chill wind swept away the petrichor and brought with it the rain.

-

-RJ Brewster — 2112 +

+AwDae — 2112

No menu.

@@ -3718,7 +3783,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Something more manageable, then.

-

The clinic where ey has had eir implants installed was halfway across town. It would take an hour or two to traverse, ey supposed. A guess. Ey had never walked it before.

+

The clinic where ey had eir implants installed was halfway across town. It would take an hour or two to traverse, ey supposed. A guess. Ey had never walked it before.

Ey had time, though, it seemed. All the time in the world.

@@ -3774,12 +3839,12 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Preempting another skip, ey scrambled to open the door of the car and hop out on eir own before it was done for em. With a satisfying thunk, the passenger door of the dusty blue sedan swung shut behind em.

-

Promising, ey thought. Perhaps I just have to be more deliberate about it. I’ll get in the car later, follow the drive back home, and maybe it’ll park in the driveway as easy as that.

+

Promising, ey thought. Perhaps I just have to be more deliberate about it. I will get in the car later, follow the drive back home, and maybe it will park in the driveway as easy as that.

Eir claws clacked against the pavement leading to the smoky glass doors. It wasn’t overly warm out, but the cool air that breathed out of the clinic was refreshing nevertheless. Something static. Something still. Something known.

-

-Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112 +

+Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112

@@ -3837,13 +3902,13 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Something, she realized, she was already prepared to do.

-

The team was visibly unhappy at the news. They had been working together over the months that they had on the project and by now felt themselves a well-oiled machine. Rightfully so.

+

The team was visibly unhappy the news. They had been working together over the months that they had on the project and by now felt themselves a well-oiled machine. Rightfully so.

“This is going to throw a huge fucking wrench into things,” Avery grumbled. “We lose one of our own, then have to get someone new up to speed. It’s going to take ages.”

“I know.” Carter sighed. “I’d push back if I thought it’d get me anywhere, but they say it’s a matter of those who sign the checks, so I think I’m S-O-L on that front.”

-

A tense silence greeted her. No one was looking at each other, just staring at shoes, ceiling, walls.

+

An tense silence greeted her. No one was looking at each other, just staring at shoes, ceiling, walls.

“Listen, I think we have some time. Absolutely no pressure, but if anyone wants to volunteer, cool. Otherwise, I’ll put some thought into this and make a decision. I’ll have to, I mean. I don’t want to. Either way, I’ll go to bat for you in trying to get a transfer rather than just the sack.”

@@ -3935,8 +4000,8 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

I am Hebel Qoheleth.

-

-RJ Brewster — 2112 +

+AwDae — 2112

If AwDae had been expecting to find some fresh clue, some exciting conclusion to eir adventure at the clinic, ey was disappointed. The office was an office, nothing more. Cold. Hollow. Impersonal, despite countless touches cleverly engineered to add personality.

@@ -3967,7 +4032,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Dreams.

-

Ey needed something to anchor emself to. Ey needed something to hold onto that wasn’t dependent on clues and tidbits of information that were…were what? Stored in eir implants? In some core in eir exocortex, dumped when ey was pulled back?

+

Ey needed something to anchor emself to. Ey needed something to hold onto that was not dependent on clues and tidbits of information that were…were what? Stored in eir implants? In some core in eir exocortex, dumped when ey was pulled back?

Ey needed to make sense of something in this pale semblance of a world. Make understanding. Make knowing. Make lucidity.

@@ -4009,7 +4074,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW Ioan Bălan — 2305 -

Eating was not a necessity in the system. While it was easy to go for months or years without eating, it was something that remained a habit for many who chose to upload. Remnants of biology. Ioan suspected that there was no small amount of hedonism involved in killing one’s body to decamp to a world beyond scarcity. Eating became a purely sensory affair, one focused on taste and scent and company.

+

Eating was not a necessity in the System. While it was easy to go for months or years without eating, it was something that remained a habit for many who chose to upload. Remnants of biology. Ioan suspected that there was no small amount of hedonism involved in killing one’s body to decamp to a world beyond scarcity. Eating became a purely sensory affair, one focused on taste and scent and company.

All the same, dinner was a muted affair. Dear’s partner cooked that evening. Ioan sat with the two around the table and tried not to feel like a third wheel.

@@ -4019,11 +4084,11 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Ioan felt some energy return with the mix of curry and lentils and rice. Calories an empty term, that is nonetheless what it felt like: like eating a hearty meal, regaining strength. Perhaps it was just the act of being present. Of existing. Engaging with one’s sensorium. Mindfulness. Perhaps that was why so many within the system still engaged with food after all.

-

Dear picked up somewhat with the food. Not as much as Ioan had. Nor, it seemed, as much as its partner had hoped, judging by their own apparent anxiety. Dinner was good, necessary, but plagued with silences. Even after, as the three sat talking, their conversation was full of nothings.

+

Dear picked up somewhat with the food. Not as much Ioan had. Nor, it seemed, as much as its partner had hoped, judging by their own apparent anxiety. Dinner was good, necessary, but plagued with silences. Even after, as the three sat talking, their conversation was full of nothings.

It wasn’t until they poured wine and moved to the couch that Dear began to open up.

-

“I script a lot of my conversations. Perhaps most,” it said, staring into it’s ‘glass’, wide-rimmed to make way for a fox muzzle to lap. Ioan felt strange drinking wine from something more akin to a bowl

+

“I script a lot of my conversations. Perhaps most,” it said, staring into it’s ‘glass’, wide-rimmed to make way for a fox muzzle to lap. Ioan felt strange drinking wine from something more akin to a bowl.

Ioan looked up. “Mm?”

@@ -4042,7 +4107,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“I ‘went off script’, you mean?”

-“Mmhm.” +“Yes.”

“Sorry about that, I–”

@@ -4051,7 +4116,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“It likes to proclaim,” teased Dear’s partner.

-

“It is not not true.” Dear smirked. “But anyway, I am sorry I got all quiet, I did not mean to put a damper on things.”

+

“It is not not true.” Dear smirked. “But anyway, I am sorry I got all quiet, I did not mean to put a damper on things.”

“You didn’t, I–”

@@ -4063,11 +4128,11 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Ioan grinned, letting the banter play out before continuing. “All I meant to say was that I worried that I’d offended with my questions.”

-

“Not at all.” The fennec furrowed its brow. “I mean, not really. I felt offended, is what I mean to say. When you asked how Life would react to you being a part of this investigation, it stung. An unfair reaction, I admit. Just one from the gut. I was offended because that made me realize that I’d invited you along on this as some sort of tool. Something I could wave about and say, “See, look what I have!” A tool or a trophy. Offense borne of shame.”

+

“Not at all.” The fennec furrowed its brow. “I mean, not really. I felt offended, is what I mean to say. When you asked how Qoheleth would react to you being a part of this investigation, it stung. An unfair reaction, I admit. Just one from the gut. I was offended because that made me realize that I’d invited you along on this as some sort of tool. Something I could wave about and say, “See, look what I have!” A tool or a trophy. Offense borne of shame.”

Ioan looked down into eir wine, taken aback.

-

“Doubly unfair of me, and for that I apologize.” Dear raised its glass in a salute. “So you asked a really good question because it made me question my own role in this hunt. It made me think of what others would think. Me bringing along an amanuensis and historian. It made me think of why I am doing so. Something I had not considered as well as I thought.

+

“Doubly unfair of me, and for that I apologize.” Dear raised its glass in a salute. “So you asked a very good question because it made me question my own role in this hunt. It made me think of what others would think. Me bringing along an amanuensis and historian. It made me think of why I am doing so. Something I had not considered as well as I thought.

“And I think the reason for me doing so goes further than even I had planned. I think I have you along as a means of keeping me grounded. A means of keeping the clade from just doing what the clade has always done yet again, of–” @@ -4081,14 +4146,14 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

The message lasted less than a minute before the fox leapt off the couch and dashed off to another room, forking almost as an afterthought along the way.

-

The fork turned quickly and padded back to the couch. It didn’t seem to be able to sit, and instead kept pacing in front of the couch, in front of Ioan and its partner.

+

The fork turned quickly and padded back to the couch. It didn’t seem to be able to sit, and instead kept pacing in front of Ioan and its partner.

After a few tense laps of wine, it said, “Qoheleth just sent me a message.”

“What?” Ioan rushed to place eir glass on the table with Dear’s. “You mean Life?”

-“He asked me to call him Qoheleth, but yes. He sent me a message. Can I pass it on?” +“He asked me to call him Qoheleth, but yes. He sent me a message. May I pass it on?”

Dear didn’t wait.

@@ -4099,7 +4164,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“Hi Dear, this is Qoheleth. Not Life Breeds Life, But Death Must Now Be Chosen, but Qoheleth. I am glad to see that you have kept at it and gotten so close. I am not sending this to deter you, but to cheer you on. I am going to send you a bit more information — just you, mind! — but I want you to get the rest of the clade in on this. I want to see if you can get them working with the same delightful fervor you and Ioan have.

-

“So anyway, here’s the bone I am gonna toss. You should be looking at Node: [32c5a64b66d0338be4373d796cf1eae5343f1077]. That will get you right to my door. May need Gist Node: [0fedcbbb5e9839936ce799ece39fcd49] to help, too. You already have the key, I think. I expect most, if not all of you, though, you understand? You are lovely, Dear, and I cannot wait to see you and your friend, but I would like to host as much of the clade as I can.

+

“So anyway, here’s the bone I am gonna toss. You should be looking at the node ending in 343f1077. That will get you right to my door. May need the node ending in e39fcd49 to help, too. You already have the key, I think. I expect most, if not all of you, though, you understand? You are lovely, Dear, and I cannot wait to see you and your friend, but I would like to host as much of the clade as I can.

“I am quite excited for this, and I am totally looking forward to see you all, yes?”

@@ -4115,7 +4180,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Ioan shook eir head and said again, quieter, “Holy shit.” Ey reached for eir glass of wine.

-

"”Bone I’m going to toss,” hmm?” Dear’s partner mused. “He makes it sound like a game.”

+

“‘Bone I’m going to toss,’ hmm?” Dear’s partner mused. “He makes it sound like a game.”

Ioan nodded and watched them spin their wine glass between their palms by the stem, watched the wine creep up the sides from centripetal force.

@@ -4123,7 +4188,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

They laughed, “Of course. I know I’ve not been hitting the books or the streets like you two have, but I’m still in this. I was the one who pointed it to you.”

-

Ey nodded, feeling eir cheeks flush. “Of course, sorry. Do you know what he meant by “closest one to the thing I’m after”?”

+

Ey nodded, feeling eir cheeks flush. “Of course, sorry. Do you know what he meant by ‘closest one to the thing I’m after’?”

“Maybe. I only really have an inkling, though, and I’d rather let Dear explain.”

@@ -4131,7 +4196,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

There was an uneasy silence for a few minutes. The two sat on the couch, sipping their wine and mulling over the message.

-

For eir part, Ioan was considering the strange dichotomy of the familiarity with which Qoheleth had addressed Dear — “see you soon, fox” — as well as why the fact that this seemed incongruous to em. It was difficult to think of Qoheleth as a member of the same clade as Dear after so long of striving to believe the opposite. Hard to think of him as someone with whom Dear shared a root identity after so long of thinking of this person as someone entirely different.

+

For eir part, Ioan was considering the strange sense of the familiarity with which Qoheleth had addressed Dear — “see you soon, fox” — as well as why the fact that this seemed incongruous to em. It was difficult to think of Qoheleth as a member of the same clade as Dear after so long of striving to believe the opposite. Hard to think of him as someone with whom Dear shared a root identity after so long of thinking of this person as someone entirely different.

Silences have their own rhythms, Ioan knew, so ey waited until there came a point at which ey could ask, “About all this, do you know much more about the whole Name business?”

@@ -4157,7 +4222,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“Many do, I’ve been told. And I think that Dear does this too, in its own way. That way means doing its best to forget it and to move on.”

-

“To get to the acceptance stage of grief?”

+

To get to the acceptance stage of grief?”

Dear’s partner nodded. “So it did its best to forget.”

@@ -4169,7 +4234,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

All the same, ey prowled through eir memories. Even just those from the time ey had been spending with Dear. They were jumbled, sure, and lots of impressions, but no, nothing was forgotten that ey could think of. With focus, ey could recall the entire afternoon on the prairie with startling precision.

-

“I’ll spare you the details by passing on some thoughts from Dear,” they said. “We aren’t gifted with eidetic memories when we upload, but neither can we truly forget anything we experience after that point. It’s as though each memory is labeled with a priority level from zero to ten, and when it hits zero, it’s forgotten. Except the actual scale only goes down to naught-point-oh-oh-oh-oh-one or something. We can kick it way to the back of our minds, down the priority list, but we can’t forget it. The system won’t let us.”

+

“I’ll spare you the details by passing on some thoughts from Dear,” they said. “We aren’t gifted with eidetic memories when we upload, but neither can we truly forget anything we experience after that point. It’s as thought each memory is labeled with a priority level from zero to ten, and when it hits zero, it’s forgotten. Except the actual scale only goes down to naught-point-oh-oh-oh-oh-one or something. We can kick it way to the back of our minds, down the priority list, but we can’t forget it. The System won’t let us.”

Ioan nodded. “So Dear tried to forget, tried to kick that memory all the way to the back of its mind. What does that have to do with being a fox, though?”

@@ -4203,7 +4268,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“It’ll be back soon enough. Let me throw a question back at you. What are your thoughts on the last thing Qoheleth said? “I think you and I both know why”?”

-

Ioan settled back into the couch with the remainder of eir wine and thought for a moment. “I’m wondering if he was talking about what Dear did to forget the Name. On one hand, it sounds like a sort of congratulations. Like, “I’m glad you’re able to move on,” but after all that talk of the clade and all of what Dear said earlier, I’m not sure if that’s the whole story.”

+

Ioan settled back into the couch with the remainder of eir wine and thought for a moment. “I’m wondering if he was talking about what Dear did to forget the Name. On one hand, it sounds like a sort of congratulation. Like, “I’m glad you’re able to move on,” but after all that talk of the clade and all of what Dear said earlier, I’m not sure if that’s the whole story.”

“How do you mean?”

@@ -4227,7 +4292,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Sasha wanted to be pleased with the rapidity with which everything was happening. It hadn’t even been a week, and here was one of the lead researchers of the lost mailing from a private address.

-

She desperately wanted to be pleased. Wanted to believe that things were moving forward. Wanted more than anything to smell the lingering scent of fox and cat in the Crown Pub, just to know that ey was there.

+

She desperately wanted to be pleased. Wanted to believe that things were moving forward. Wanted more than anything to smell the lingering scent of fox and cat in the Crown Pub, just to know at they were there.

And yet, she wasn’t. It was all wrong. Everything about this was wrong. There was no way to forget that, despite the forward momentum, she was still doing all of this for what was widely acknowledged to be a lost cause.

@@ -4243,12 +4308,12 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

The last thing I got from RJ was this:

-

AwDae here. Looks like there’s a lot going on in DDR activity (where’d you get this, Debarre?). Cicero was into a lot, and I’m not trying to go all conspiracy nut on you all, but do you think that maybe he got in too deep or something? Not saying someone tried to do it too him or anything, just that maybe the more one uses the net, the more likely it is to happen to them? I mean seriously, look at all of his votes, and his stash of credits! I’ll keep poking at this after rehearsal.

+

AwDae here. Looks like there’s a lot going on in DDR activity (where’d you get this, Debarre?). Cicero (Collin) was into a lot, and I’m not trying to go all conspiracy nut on you all, but do you think that maybe he got in too deep or something? Not saying someone tried to do it too him or anything, just that maybe the more one uses the net, the more likely it is to happen to them? I mean seriously, look at all of his votes, and his stash of credits! I’ll keep poking at this after rehearsal.

Do you have any idea what that might be about? I know I said Cicero was super into politics, but do you think RJ was onto something here?

-

I’ve copied Cicero’s partner, Debarre (don’t know real name, sorry!) and Caitlin Fowler from where RJ works.

+

I’ve copied Cicero’s partner, Debarre (don’t know real name, sorry!) and Caitlin Wells from where RJ works.

Sasha

@@ -4271,17 +4336,17 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“Right, sorry. I’m sorry for meeting you like this.”

-

The skunk shook her head. “It’s okay, I guess. Can you tell me why?”

+

Sasha shook her head. “It’s okay, I guess. Can you tell me why?”

“Will you accept “because of a dream” as an answer?”

-

Sasha frowned.

+

Her frown deepened.

“I suppose not.” Carter hugged her arms around her middle, a gesture that looked distinctly out of place from the gray avatar. “You mention, uh…AwDae investigating DDR activity, as well as Collin’s own involvement but–well, should we wait for others to show up?”

“I don’t know if any of them are coming.” She felt the tightness of panic in her chest intensify. “I don’t know where Debarre is. Probably work, it’s midday for us. And I imagine Caitlin’s show is on.”

-

The figure before her frowned. “Right.”

+

The figure before her sighed. “Right.”

Sasha pulled up her deck. “I can take notes, perhaps,” she allowed. “I don’t suppose you’ll want ACLs with a throwaway.”

@@ -4311,7 +4376,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“I’m sorry,” the figure said dully. “I really can’t help in the context of work.”

-

“I know. I read up a bit on WFHIPA.”

+

“I know. I read up a bit on WFPHIPA.”

“Yeah.”

@@ -4355,21 +4420,21 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW “Fuck.”

-

-RJ Brewster — 2112 +

+AwDae — 2112

The relief of finding emself sitting in eir own bed, ey supposed, should have been immediate and intense.

Instead, seeing eir room around em once more rather than the clinic, all AwDae could do was close eir eyes and shift down in bed until ey was able to draw the covers up over emself, a mirroring of this morning. The weight of the blanket atop em, the feeling of being surrounded, covered, supported by the mattress seemed to be more important than…than what, relief? Joy?

-

Ey didn’t feel despair, didn’t feel hopelessness.

+

Ey did not feel despair, did no feel hopelessness.

-

AwDae wasn’t sure what this emotion was. It was a non-emotion. It was a sense of swelling, of being too full. Of having words and images and colors flooding through em and yet wholly out of reach.

+

AwDae was not sure what this emotion was. It was a non-emotion. It was a sense of swelling, of being too full. Of having words and images and colors flooding through em and yet wholly out of reach.

When ey had awoken this morning, ey had supposed that ey would head down from home to the clinic and magically find some sort of success. Or, if not success, at least another clue. Another step along the way. A fraction of success. Some piece-of-eight that, when added up, would save em.

-

This wasn’t a puzzle, though, was it? This wasn’t a set of steps that could be followed to some logical conclusion. There was no end to the road, because there was no road.

+

This was not a puzzle, though, was it? This was not a set of steps that could be followed to some logical conclusion. There was no end to the road, because there was no road.

Dreams, after all, have no plot.

@@ -4401,7 +4466,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Ey slept, then. Not the restless, confused sleep of the night before, but a dreamless sleep of an hour. An hour? A day? What mattered time? It was the sleep of a mind demanding that very blessed nothingness. Was that something ey could request, as ey had requested to dream eir way back home?

-

It wasn’t a long nap, of course. Or perhaps it was. Perhaps ey could will it to be as long as ey wanted. Perhaps ey were bound to a rhythm, but the scale did not matter. Perhaps ey could bend time.

+

It was not a long nap, of course. Or perhaps it was. Perhaps ey could will it to be as long as ey wanted. Perhaps ey was bound to a rhythm, but the scale did not matter. Perhaps ey could bend time.

Either way, when ey awoke, the corners of eir eyes gunked up with dried tears, the funk of the morning had largely passed. The numbness still lingered around the edges, vignetting curiosity, but it was not so all-consuming as it had been.

@@ -4433,7 +4498,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

A promise to emself. I still have will.

-

The fog receded upon eir request, thinned, disappeared. Mere breath. The prairie of the open space stretched out before them. A valley, and then a ridge of hills to the east. The mountains behind eir back.

+

The fog receded upon eir request, thinned, disappeared. Mere breath. The prairie of the open space stretched out before em. A valley, and then a ridge of hills to the east. The mountains behind eir back.

Not a sim. No limitations other than those eir dreaming mind had set upon them. Ey had spent so long in sims, lived eir life out in worlds bounded by the edges of invisible properties that, upon getting lost, ey had imagined the same must be true inside. More so, eir unconscious reasoned, for was ey not constrained by the processing power of eir exocortex?

@@ -4441,7 +4506,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

No commands, then. No promises. Ey knew that, were ey to take a step forward, eir foot would come down on the dinged hardwood floor of eir London flat. Priscilla would meow her hellos and twine around eir ankles.

-

Ey did not rush. Ey stood still. The breeze fingered eir fur and teased along the hem of eir skirt as a breeze must. There were the turbines on the far ridge, three blades turning laconically as turbines must. There was the highway across the valley, the gas station squatting low alongside it as gas stations must.

+

Ey did not rush. Ey stood still. The breeze fingered eir fur and teased along the hem of eir skirt as a breeze must. There were the turbines on the far ridge, three blades turning laconically as turbines must. There was the highway across the valley, the charging station squatting low alongside it as charging stations must.

No commands in dreams. No promises required. Ey would take that step and all would be as it must.

@@ -4451,18 +4516,23 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

And then AwDae fell to eir knees and let the cat step up onto eir thighs, and ey lifted her in eir arms and buried eir snout in her warm, purring side, and cried.

+
+No, not eir Prisca. Not the real Prisca. +
Art by Cadmium Tea.
+
+

Cried because this was not London. Cried because this was not eir cat. Cried because ey could dream anything ey wanted and it would never be anything beyond a dream.

-

This was a memory. This was something dredged up from eir own mind. Prisca, eir very own Prisca, was purring against eir face because that’s what Prisca must do. She was squirming out of eir grasp because ey knew that, had ey held her like that in the waking world — and ey had — that that is what cats do.

+

This was a memory. This was something dredged up from eir own mind. Prisca, eir very own Prisca, was purring against eir face because that is what Prisca must do. She was squirming out of eir grasp because ey knew that, had ey held her like that in the waking world — and ey had — that that is what cats do.

-

It was eir dream. Eir own, eirs alone. All the lost must perforce be dreaming their own dreams. Ey dreamed of homes and clues and boundaries, of cats that squirmed, of emself as a fox — and that one ey would keep — and could not begin to guess at others’ dreams.

+

It was eir dream. Eir own, eirs alone. All the lost must perforce be dreaming their own dreams. Ey dreamed of homes and clues and boundaries, of cats that squirmed, of emself as a fox — and that one ey would keep — and could not begin to guess at other’s dreams.

Could ey will Prisca to stop? To hold still and be eir pillow to cry into? Ey did not know. Eir mind resisted the question. Resisted, because ey did not want that to be the case. Did not want to will eir precious cat to be anything other than she was. To ask that question was to admit the idea that ey could dream anything other than that which ey must.

Ey let the cat down so that she could stalk self-righteously to her favorite spot and groom the tears out of her fur.

-

-Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112 +

+Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112

Carter could not explain why she had created the throw-away account to talk with Sasha. Nor could she fully explain that panic that had washed over her, strong enough for her to flee, to log out and wipe both account and sim.

@@ -4494,7 +4564,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

Carter found it hard to sit still in the small room. It was all she could do to keep from pacing agitatedly, and she focused instead on keeping her steps more within the realm of slow and contemplative. Is this out of the ordinary? Is me walking back and forth out of the norm enough to report to some higher authority? Is Avery on my side?

-

“Dr Ramirez, sorry for bothering you.”

+

“Dr. Ramirez, sorry for bothering you.”

“No problem, Avery. What’s up?”

@@ -4518,7 +4588,7 @@ TKEMU AFNOS VQUNW

“Yeah, it does have that going for it, doesn’t it?”

-

“And it always did before, too.” Avery dropped their gaze once more and shrugged. “Just that now, I feel like I was handed a big bone in terms of what could actually be going on. It’s not an answer, but of all the correlations we’ve been looking at until now, this is one of the bigger ones.”

+

“And it always did before, too.” Avery dropped their gaze once more and shrugged.”Just that now, I feel like I was handed a big bone in terms of what could actually be going on. It’s not an answer, but of all the correlations we’ve been looking until now, this is one of the bigger ones.”

“That strong of a correlation, then?”

@@ -4585,158 +4655,161 @@ On the formation of the Clade
Ioan Bălan
Systime 181+338 1644

-

Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled: What, specifically, do you want to know about the clade?

- -

Ioan Bălan: Other than “start at the beginning, and when you get to the end, stop?”

- -

Dear: [laughter] Yes. I could do that, I suppose, but it wouldn’t make for a very good story.

- -

Ioan: Right. I suppose start at the beginning, specifically with your decision to upload.

- -

Dear: You understand that there will be portions of that story that I cannot tell you, yes?

- -

Ioan: Of course.

- -

Dear: [thoughtful silence] Okay. Did you ever come across…well, no. When did you upload?

- -

Ioan: 2238. June or something.

- -

Dear: [sighs] No. Okay, well, in your research, did you ever come across mentions of “the lost”?

- -

Ioan: Yes. Lots of turmoil around then. Early 2100s, right?

- -

Dear: [nods] Yes. Though it’s strange, now that I think about it. The turmoil at the time felt very small and personal. While there was all this grand-scale stuff going on around us, we were dealing with friends and acquaintances disappearing. There were so few cases at first that it was just this thing the news would publish as a sort of curiosity. “Look! Isn’t this strange? The scientists are working so hard!” [laughter] It wasn’t until after that the turmoil you’re talking about began.

- -

Ioan: Okay. Did you upload during?

- -

Dear: Oh goodness, no. Uploading had been something scientists and such had been poking at, but that no one had yet to accomplish. Or, well, perhaps someone had accomplished. Some had claimed to, at least. The consensus at the time is that, while it was likely possible, there would be little chance of having systems large enough to house more than two or three individuals. It was not a…ah, not a linear increase in complexity, I think. Add another mind, and the complexity more than doubles. [pause] It was the lost who started it, in a way. The things we learned from them when they came back–

- -

Ioan: How many– sorry for the interruption. How many came back? Of those you knew?

- -

Dear: Oh, all of them came back! Just that some of them didn’t last long, after.

- -

Ioan: Including the…uh, the owner of the Name?

- -

Dear: [pause, tense] Yes. In a way.

- -

Ioan: Okay. Back to the uploading side, then. The lost taught you…

- -

Dear: [visibly relaxing] Right, yes. When they came back, many of them — many of us, for I was briefly among their number — talked about what we had learned while…uh, in there. The things that we talked about and described are what sent the wonks down new avenues of research, and that eventually led to the first uploading tech. From there, there was the usual “too expensive” hand-wringing, but it all marches on, you know? [laughs] It got cheaper, the tech got better, the L5 station and Ansible were set up. Population was getting out of hand again, and some wag decided to pitch uploading as a solution.

- -

Ioan: I remember that, yeah. The posters were all over the place.

- -

Dear: Yes. Notably, as the cost came down, it was pitched as something for the poorer classes to take advantage of.

- -

Ioan: And were you…I mean–

- -

Dear: [laughs] Poor? Not particularly, actually. It appealed to me for…different reasons. I’d prefer not to get into those at the moment.

- -

Ioan: Alright.

- -

Dear: Yes. Well. [pause] Okay, right, I uploaded in the 2130s, shortly after the L5 station was set up. It had become sufficiently cheap that it was something I could afford–

- -

Ioan: Cheap? How much?

- -

Dear: It was…well, still a considerable portion of my savings.

- -

Ioan: I see.

- -

Dear: Why do you ask?

- -

Ioan: We were — our families were, I mean — paid for us to upload.

- -

Dear: Oh? Fancy that! [laughter] Anyway. It had become something that I could afford, and I leapt on the chance. It had been around long enough that it still felt relatively established, but was still a far cry from what it was now. This was probably early systime 10+, I mean. Folks knew what they were doing, but much of the society — what we think of society — here had not gelled into what it is today.

- -

Ioan: You mention that it cost to fork, yes.

- -

Dear: Yes. The reputation markets were already set up by then, but since this was before the system’s proper expansion and some tech that came later — I couldn’t begin to understand it — it was gently discouraged by the market.

- -

Ioan: It hadn’t reached this…post-scarcity, you mean?

- -

Dear: Right. There was still a scarcity of resources and we were still sufficiently…ah, still sufficiently human, perhaps, socially human, that this was used as a lever, a measure of one’s class.

- -

Ioan: We still have the markets, though.

- -

Dear: [laughter] Not like we did then.

- -

Ioan: Alright. Don’t suppose you would be able to do what you do today back then.

- -

Dear: Not at all, no. It does still cost some minuscule portion of credit for one to fork now, but I digress. We began as Michelle and did the things that Michelle did, forking infrequently. This was still a few years before the distinctions between strategies started up. Most everyone was a tasker back then by virtue of the markets.

- -

Ioan: It’s hard to picture you as a tasker.

- -

Dear: [laughter] Right, yes. As everything started to get cheaper, though, those distinctions began to emerge. By then, Michelle had a few long-lived instances, tagged as you are, Mx #c1494bf.

- -

Ioan: [laughter] Thank you. This was before the Ode?

- -

Dear: The Ode itself existed. That came before we uploaded.

- -

Ioan: Before the Ode clade, though?

- -

Dear: Right, yes. Michelle and her forks existed, but the very idea of clades was new at the time. At one point, though, she and a few other founders began to describe their trees as such. The larger trees grew — for those who maintained long-running forks, that is — the more unwieldy tags became, and folks decided on names. Some folks settled on simple standards. Another of the founders, the Jonas clade, for instance, uses syllabic prefixes. Ar Jonas, Ko Jonas, and so on. Leading vowels the first forks, then leading consonants, then the vowels following the consonants, et cetera ad infinitum.

- -

Ioan: And you chose the Ode.

- -

Dear: Michelle did, yes. She had picked up a contrarian streak during the whole lost saga.

- -

Ioan: Did she play a large role in that?

- -

Dear: [taken aback] Did her name not come up in your research?

- -

Ioan: Not on the lost, no. Just on the founders.

- -

Dear: [frowning] Well, alright. Yes, she played a role, but time softens rough edges, I suppose. Either way, the things she did gave her enough reputation to fork, and she chose the Ode to name her instances while remaining Michelle, herself. She started with the first lines of each stanza, then let them create and name their own forks from there.

- -

Ioan: Thus the limited dispersionista style.

- -

Dear: [nodding] Right. Each stanza became a small family of taskers, in a way. We, the Odists, create our own forks as needed, but don’t let them live long. Or aren’t supposed to, at least.

- -

Ioan: “Aren’t supposed to”?

- -

Dear: Oh, I’m sure a few of us have created long-running forks while everyone else has turned their head.

- -

Ioan: Have you?

- -

Dear: [smiling, shrugging, mu-gesture] By virtue of our set-up, though, such forks are not members of the clade. Those forks are not named as such, and likely not in communication with any other cocladists aside from their immediate down-tree instance.

- -

Ioan: Is the Ode available somewhere for me to read?

- -

Dear: Of course. I’ll give you a copy. That’s hardly secret.

- -

Ioan: And the clade, how long has it been since you have all been together.

- -

Dear: This will be the first time there have been more than half of us together in one spot.

- -

Ioan: Ever?

- -

Dear: [nodding] Ever. Some dispersionistas are families. I mentioned the Jonas clade before; Jonas Prime has set up regular intraclade communication. Some are just clades, defined by ancestry with no further connections.

- -

Ioan: Are you in touch with any of your cocladists?

- -

Dear: I’m assuming you mean “in normal times”? Right. One or two. Serene and I get along quite well, and I talk with Praiseworthy — Those That Lived Are Forever Praiseworthy, the first line of my stanza — with some frequency. Michelle and I have talked a few times. She comes to my exhibitions.

- -

Ioan: Ever talked to, um…

- -

Dear: Qoheleth?

- -

Ioan: Yes. I was going to say “Life Breeds Life” but forgot the line.

- -

Dear: Names are important, Ioan. If he has decided on Qoheleth, then Qoheleth it is.

- -

Ioan: Right, sorry. I was in the mindset of the lines. Have you talked with him?

- -

Dear: Before this? No. Not knowingly.

- -

Ioan: And how do you feel about seeing the whole clade together?

- -

Dear: I would be surprised if we manage to net all of them. [laughter] But I suppose I feel excited. Not necessarily because I have never met many of them so much as because it feels like we as a clade have a goal in front of us. Seeing them is secondary to them — to us — actually doing something. Accomplishing something.

- -

Ioan: And what do you hope to get out of it? This gathering?

- -

Dear: [smiling] A story. Others want answers, and I suppose I do too, but I mostly want a story. I want the story. I want to be the audience and a character. I want to dive into the story and bathe in it. I want a story.

- -

-Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112 +
+
Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled
+
What, specifically, do you want to know about the clade?
+
Ioan Bălan
+
Other than “start at the beginning, and when you get to the end, stop?”
+
Dear
+
[laughter] Yes. I could do that, I suppose, but it would not make for a very good story.
+
Ioan
+
Right. I suppose start at the beginning, specifically with your decision to upload.
+
Dear
+
You understand that there will be portions of that story that I cannot tell you, yes?
+
Ioan
+
Of course.
+
Dear
+
[thoughtful silence] Okay. Did you ever come across…well, no. When did you upload?
+
Ioan
+
2238, June or something.
+
Dear
+
[sighs] No. Okay, well, in your research, did you ever come across mentions of “the lost”?
+
Ioan
+
Yes. Lots of turmoil around then. Early 2100s, right?
+
Dear
+
[nodding] Yes. Though it is strange, now that I think about it. The turmoil at the time felt very small and personal. While there was all this grand-scale stuff going on around us, we were dealing with friends and acquaintances disappearing. There were so few cases at first that it was just this thing the news would publish as a sort of curiosity. “Look! Is this not strange? The scientists are working so hard!” [laughter] It was not until after that that the turmoil you that are talking about began.
+
Ioan
+
Okay. Did you upload during?
+
Dear
+
Oh goodness, no. Uploading had been something scientists and such had been poking at, but that no one had yet to accomplish. Or, well, perhaps someone had accomplished. Some had claimed to, at least. The consensus at the time is that, while it was likely possible, there would be little chance of having systems large enough to house more than two or three individuals. It was not an…ah, not a linear increase in complexity, I think. Add another mind, and the complexity more than doubles. [pause] It was the lost who started it, in a way. The things we learned from them when they came back–
+
Ioan
+
How many– sorry for the interruption. How many came back? Of those you knew?
+
Dear
+
Oh, all of them came back! Just that some of them did not last long, after.
+
Ioan
+
Including the…uh, the owner of the Name?
+
Dear
+
[pause, tense] Yes. In a way.
+
Ioan
+
Okay. Back to the uploading side, then. The lost taught you…
+
Dear
+
[visibly relaxing] Right, yes. When they came back, many of them — many of us, for I was briefly among their number — talked about what we had learned while…ah, in there. The things that we talked about and described are what sent the wonks down new avenues of research, and that eventually led to the first uploading tech. From there, there was the usual “too expensive” hand-wringing, but it all marches on, you know? [laughs] It got cheaper, the tech got better, the L5 station and Ansible were set up. Population was getting out of hand again, they said, and some wag decided to pitch uploading as a solution.
+
Ioan
+
I remember that, yeah. The posters were all over the place.
+
Dear
+
Yes. Notably, as the cost came down, it was pitched as something for the poorer classes to take advantage of. It bore more than a little whiff of eugenics.
+
Ioan
+
And were you…I mean–
+
Dear
+
[laughter] Poor? Not particularly, actually. It appealed to me for…different reasons. I would prefer not to get into those at the moment.
+
Ioan
+
Alright.
+
Dear
+
Yes. Well. [pause] Okay, right, I uploaded in the 2130s, shortly after the L5 station was set up. It had become sufficiently cheap that It was something I could afford–
+
Ioan
+
Cheap? How much?
+
Dear
+
It was…well, still a considerable portion of my savings.
+
Ioan
+
I see.
+
Dear
+
Why do you ask?
+
Ioan
+
We were — our families were, I mean — paid for us to upload.
+
Dear
+
Oh? Fancy that! [laughter] Anyway. It had become something that I could afford, and I leapt on the chance. It had been around long enough that it still felt relatively established, but was still a far cry from what it was now. This was probably early systime 10+, I mean. Folks knew what they were doing, but much of the society — what we think of society — here had not gelled into what it is today.
+
Ioan
+
You mention that it cost to fork, yes.
+
Dear
+
Yes. The reputation markets were already set up by then, but since this was before the System’s proper expansion and some tech that came later — I could not begin to understand it — it was gently discouraged by the market.
+
Ioan
+
It hadn’t reached this…post-scarcity, you mean?
+
Dear
+
Right. There was still a scarcity of resources and we were still sufficiently…ah, still sufficiently human, perhaps, socially human, that this was used as a lever, a measure of one’s class.
+
Ioan
+
We still have the markets, though.
+
Dear
+
[laughter] Not like we did then.
+
Ioan
+
Alright. Don’t suppose you would be able to do what you do today back then.
+
Dear
+
Not at all, no. It does still cost some minuscule portion of credit for one to fork now, but I digress. We began as Michelle and did the things that Michelle did, forking infrequently. This was still a few years before the distinctions between strategies started up. Most everyone was a tasker back then by virtue of the markets.
+
Ioan
+
It’s hard to picture you as a tasker.
+
Dear
+
[laughter] Right, yes. As everything started to get cheaper, though, those distinctions began to emerge. By then, Michelle had few long-lived instances, tagged as you are, Mx. #c1494bf.
+
Ioan
+
[laughter] Thank you. This was before the Ode?
+
Dear
+
The Ode itself existed. That came before we uploaded.
+
Ioan
+
Before the Ode clade, though?
+
Dear
+
Right, yes. Michelle and her forks existed, but the very idea of clades was new at the time. At one point, though, she and a few other founders began to describe their trees as such. The larger trees grew — for those who maintained long-running forks, that is — the more unwieldy tags became, and folks decided on names. Some folks settled on simple standards. Another of the founders, the Jonas clade, for instance, uses syllabic prefixes. Ar Jonas, Ko Jonas, and so on. Leading vowels the first forks, then leading consonants, then the vowels following the consonants, et cetera ad infinitum.
+
Ioan
+
And you chose the Ode.
+
Dear
+
Michelle did, yes. She had picked up a contrarian streak during the whole lost saga.
+
Ioan
+
Did she play a large role in that?
+
Dear
+
[taken aback] Did her name not come up in your research?
+
Ioan
+
Not on the lost, no. Just on the founders.
+
Dear
+
[frowning] Well, alright. Yes, she played a role, but time softens rough edges, I suppose. Either way, the things she did gave her enough reputation to fork, and she chose the Ode to name her instances while remaining Michelle, herself. She started with the first lines of each stanza, then let them create and name their own forks from there.
+
Ioan
+
Thus the limited dispersionista style.
+
Dear
+
[nodding] Right. Each stanza became a small family of taskers, in a way. We, the Odists, create our own forks as needed, but do not let them live long. Or are not supposed to, at least.
+
Ioan
+
“Aren’t supposed to”?
+
Dear
+
Oh, I am sure a few of us have created long-running forks while everyone else has turned their head.
+
Ioan
+
Have you?
+
Dear
+
[smiling, shrugging, paw-wave] By virtue of our set-up, though, such forks are not members of the clade. Those forks are not named as such, and likely not in communication with any other cocladists aside from their immediate down-tree instance.
+
Ioan
+
Is the Ode available somewhere for me to read?
+
Dear
+
Of course. I will give you a copy. That is hardly secret.
+
Ioan
+
And the clade, how long has it been since you have all been together.
+
Dear
+
This will be the first time there have been more than half of us together in one spot.
+
Ioan
+
Ever?
+
Dear
+
[nodding] Ever. Some dispersionistas are families. I mentioned the Jonas clade before; Jonas Prime has set up regular intraclade communication. Some are just clades, defined by ancestry with no further connections.
+
Ioan
+
Are you in touch with any of your cocladists?
+
Dear
+
I am assuming you mean “in normal times”? Right. One or two. Serene and I get along quite well, and I talk with Praiseworthy — That Which Lives Is Forever Praiseworthy, the first line of my stanza — with some frequency. Michelle and I have talked a few times. She comes to my exhibitions.
+
Ioan
+
Ever talked to, um…
+
Dear
+
Qoheleth?
+
Ioan
+
Yes. I was going to say “Life Breeds Life” but forgot the line.
+
Dear
+
Names are important, Ioan. If he has decided on Qoheleth, then Qoheleth it is.
+
Ioan
+
Right, sorry. I was in the mindset of the lines. Have you talked with him?
+
Dear
+
Before this? No. Not knowingly.
+
Ioan
+
And how do you feel about seeing the whole clade together?
+
Dear
+
I would be surprised if we manage to net all of them. [laughter] But I suppose I feel excited. Not necessarily because I have never met many of them so much as because it feels like we as a clade have a goal in front of us. Seeing them is secondary to them — to us — actually doing something. Accomplishing something.
+
Ioan
+
And what do you hope to get out of it? This gathering?
+
Dear
+
[smiling] A story. Others want answers, and I suppose I do too, but I mostly want a story. I want the story. I want to be the audience and a character. I want to dive into the story and bathe in it. I want a story.
+
+ +

+Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112

London in winter was not a snowy affair. No traces of white lacing the ground, no flakes in the air. Just sporadic sleet and steel-gray skies, breath clouding her vision while fingertips went numb around her mug of water.

@@ -4745,7 +4818,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

It wouldn’t be missed. Mugs were less important than being out of there.

-

The pain of being drawn back so forcefully had disappeared immediately upon coming to outside the sim, but the memory lingered. Her mind would not let it go. If she thought about other things, she knew, it would disappear. Just a memory. A bad dream.

+

The pain of being drawn back so forcefully had disappeared immediately upon coming too outside the sim, but the memory lingered. Her mind would not let it go. If she thought about other things, she knew, it would disappear. Just a memory. A bad dream.

She did not think about other things. Could not think about other things. All she could think about was her implants and the system. All she could think about was the vain hope that the data on the card had made it into the core dump she knew had been left in her exocortex’s storage immediately upon the crash. She had no idea how she’d get it out — the tech side of the implants was hardly her specialty — but she knew it was possible.

@@ -4807,7 +4880,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

She blinked, nodded dumbly. Another rock for her mind to bump over in that swift-flowing stream: Prakash? Sino-Russian Bloc?

-

“If you run, you’ll only look guilty. Culpable. You need to stay away from UCL, but–” He pointed down the street. “If you were to head to the medical center, then it’s only an ethics violation, not running from the police, okay? Brewster is there.”

+

“If you run, you’ll only look guilty. You need to stay away from UCL, but–” He pointed down the street. “If you were to head to the medical center, then it’s only an ethics violation, not running from the police, okay? Brewster is there.”

“What–” Her voice cracked, and she had to swallow a few times to get it to work properly. “What happened?”

@@ -4862,7 +4935,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

I found some data, though. Don’t know what to do with it, but I’ve attached the core that might have it saved. It has to do with DDR activity as suspected, notably some vote that happened a while back, deleted from EVERYONE’S records. Something crazy happening high enough up that they’re trying to make everyone forget and disappear those who won’t.

-

Home sim is @cramirez:eo3.london.gb.wf#default, will stick around a few, but after that, going to see RJ. Will probably be the last you hear from me, as am being followed.

+

Home sim is @cramirez:eo3.london.gb.wf#default, will stick around a few, but after that, going to see RJ. Will probably be the last you here from me, as am being followed.

cr

@@ -4879,7 +4952,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

Carter held up her hands defensively, then jumped again as a…weasel? Another furry of some sort, long and brown and dressed all in black, dashed quickly from the pad.

-

“This is Debarre.” Sasha spoke quickly. “Debarre, Dr Ramirez. She’s at the hospital with RJ.”

+

“This is Debarre.” Sasha spoke quickly. “Debarre, Dr. Ramirez. She’s at the hospital with RJ.”

Debarre looked frantic, pacing erratically. “What the fuck is happening?”

@@ -4899,8 +4972,8 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

Fuck.

-

-RJ Brewster — 2112 +

+AwDae — 2112

“If I dream, am I no longer myself?”

@@ -4933,25 +5006,36 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

A memory: RJ and Avon. Avon, who had let RJ crash on his couch when ey had first reached London. RJ and Avon at a small cafe. Avon promising an authentic cream tea and then immediately launching into a tirade against authenticity. RJ laughing. Avon watching, hawk-eyed, to see whether RJ would spread eir clotted cream on the scone first, or instead reach for the jam. Avon nodding approvingly at the choice.

-

The water quickly came to a boil. After pouring it into the mug, AwDae hiked emmself up onto the counter by the edge of the sink and let eir tail dangle into it. It would get wet, but that’s just what happens with sinks.

+

The water quickly came to a boil. After pouring it into the mug, AwDae hiked emself up onto the counter by the edge of the sink and let eir tail dangle into it. It would get wet, but that is just what happens with sinks.

“You seem kind of frozen, kind of stuck, in a few ways.”

-

“I am stuck, yes,” ey informed Priscilla. “I’m stuck with will and with memory and with time. As much time as I need.”

+

“I am stuck, yes,” ey informed Priscilla. “I am stuck with will and with memory and with time. As much time as I need.”

The cat purred. AwDae laughed and lifted eir mug. Too hot to drink, but comforting to hold. Ey felt the comfort in memory.

+
+Comfort in memory +
Art by Cadmium Tea.
+
+

A memory: RJ waking a few days? Weeks? RJ waking some time ago, years and years ago, and groggily making a pot of tea. RJ sipping one mug of tea while watching the traffic. RJ sipping a second mug of tea while making rice. RJ starting a third mug of tea before sitting down at eir rig and getting lost in research. RJ digging and digging and digging through cards, through tables, through numbers and words and data. RJ frowning at a mass of voting records. RJ downing a cold mug of tea.

The tea was cool enough to drink, now, and so AwDae did.

-

And when ey had half-finished the tea, the fox slid from eir perch on the counter and padded over to eir rig. Frowned. Why bother with such a thing? Instead, in its place should be a small, white room extending past the boundaries of eir flat. And there was.

+

And when ey had half-finished the tea, the fox slid from eir perch on the counter and padded over to eir rig. Frowned. Why bother with such a thing? Instead, in its place should be a small, white room extending past the boundaries of eir flat.

-

And when ey would step into that room, ey would cease to be a fox, but instead become fully immersed in memory, manipulating it with the same ease with which ey manipulated the acoustic space of the theater. And ey did.

+

And there was.

-

And when ey might think about what memories ey had, ey would find there, whole and uncorrupted, all of the information ey had been prowling through on Cicero’s disappearance. No riddles to solve, no tricks, no mics, no paper. Ey would be able to expand across that sense that passed for sight in a fully immersive sim the entirety of the data. And ey could.

+

And when ey would step into that room, ey would cease to be a fox, but instead become fully immersed in memory, manipulating it with the same ease with which ey manipulated the acoustic space of the theater.

+ +

And ey did.

+ +

And when ey might think about what memories ey had, ey would find there, whole and uncorrupted, all of the information ey had been prowling through on Cicero’s disappearance. No riddles to solve, no tricks, no mics, no paper. Ey would be able to expand across that sense that passed for sight in a fully immersive sim the entirety of the data.

+ +

And ey could.

AwDae dreamt. Dreamt of work. Dreamt the table of Cicero’s DDR votes, dreamt that it rotated in beautiful precision along any axis ey wished. Dreamt of the other cards in the deck, of recorded conversations and notes and last-connected times. Ey dreamt eir way through all of the data packed into the deck of vcards Sasha had given em so very, very long ago.

@@ -4975,20 +5059,22 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

She was all there. All of her avatar. What ey remembered of their final conversation could be played out from start to finish between skunk and fox in perfect detail. Detail that could not be anything other than perfect. Detail that had to be perfect because eir exo had cached the skunk’s av, just as it had cached eir flat and the Crown Pub.

-

But she was not all there.

+

But she was not all there.

She was not there at all. Her avatar was a hollow shell that AwDae could make parrot her lines. It was a puppet. It was a sensory representation without context. A sign without an object, signifier without the signified.

AwDae was in a hall of mirrors that allowed no one else but emself. She was not there and she could not be there because AwDae was lost, and when one is lost, one is alone in ways more fundamental than could be dreamt of in any solipsist’s philosophy.

-

What lives we lead we lead in memory, and the end of memory lies beneath the roots.

+

+What lives we lead we lead in memory, and the end of memory lies beneath the roots. +

-

Ey could not forget, for memory ends at the teeth of death and is wholly inaccessible to the living, because the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing.

+

Ey could not forget, for memory ends at the teeth of death and is wholly inaccessible to the living, because the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing.

And ey could not cry thus immersed.

-

-Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112 +

+Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112

It took a moment for Carter to collect herself again after pulling back. She allowed herself thirty seconds of simply sitting in the chair before the public terminal, face in shaking hands, before she stood up. Even then, she had to force her breathing down to levels that might be considered normal.

@@ -5015,7 +5101,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

Shit.

-

Carter quickened her pace, doing her best to maintain the appearance that she belonged here. She, Dr Carter Ramirez, researcher on the lost, was meant to be here. Meant to be in the hospital, in the wing where the lost were kept. She belonged here, it was okay.

+

Carter quickened her pace, doing her best to maintain the appearance that she belonged here. She, Dr. Carter Ramirez, researcher on the lost, was meant to be here. Meant to be in the hospital, in the wing where the lost were kept. She belonged here, it was okay.

And the ruse, if ruse it were, worked well enough to get her up to the second floor and onto the hall where RJ was being kept. A slow hall. A quiet hall, where none of the patients could talk or move. An empty hall. A nurse’s station with a lone nurse sitting behind a monitor.

@@ -5027,13 +5113,13 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

Well, shit.

-

There would be no backing up without increased culpability. She had been preempted. And why not? Dr Carter Ramirez, researcher in the lost, was meant to be here, right?

+

There would be no backing up without looking guiltier. She had been preempted. And why not? Dr. Carter Ramirez, researcher in the lost, was meant to be here, right?

All she could do, all she could think to do, was nod to them politely and head to the nurse’s station. “Good, uh…good afternoon.”

They looked up from the paperwork and frowned. “Afternoon. May I help you?”

-

“Yes, sorry. Dr Carter Ramirez, UCL. I’m here to view a patient, RJ Brewster? Should be in 2309.”

+

“Yes, sorry. Dr. Carter Ramirez, UCL. I’m here to view a patient, RJ Brewster? Should be in 2309.”

The nurse’s frown deepened. “You’re expected. The gentlemen down the hall are here to speak with you. That’s 2309 they’re sitting in front of. Go ahead.”

@@ -5045,15 +5131,15 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

A show summarily interrupted by Johannson.

-

The director barrelled out of the room and nearly collided with the suits. His thick hands set on each of their shoulders, and, even from two rooms down, his rumble was clear. “Gentlemen, can I speak with you? I have some concerns about the patient.”

+

The director barrelled out of the room and nearly collided with the suits. His thick hands set on each of their shoulders, and, even from two rooms down, his baritone was clear. “Gentlemen, can I speak with you? I have some concerns about the patient.”

Nonplussed, the suits turned toward Johansson. “Sir, we are not–”

-

“Won’t take a moment, please. Just need a bit of privacy. Dr Ramirez, head on in. I’m sure we can all talk in a moment.”

+

“Won’t take a moment, please. Just need a bit of privacy. Dr. Ramirez, head on in.I’m sure we can all talk in a moment.”

Unsure if it was confusion or Johansson’s convincing act that drew her forward, she simply nodded and continued into the room. Caitlin, she assumed, sat on a chair next to the bed. And in the bed itself must have been RJ. Short, slight, dusty blonde hair swept back out of eir face by a simple hairband, eyes taped shut, nasal intubation tube taped to eir cheek. Still. Completely still.

-

“Dr Ramirez?” Caitlin said.

+

“Dr. Ramirez?” Caitlin said.

“Yes, uh…Caitlin, is it? And this is RJ?”

@@ -5071,7 +5157,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

“You mean…intentionally? Not an accident?” The tech frowned. “Why are you here, then?”

-

Carter ground her palms against her eyes and shook her head. “I don’t know. Running from those guys, I guess. Trying to reduce my guilt.” She considered expanding on what Prakash had said, on Prakash himself, then decided against it. If he was indeed helping her, that would be throwing him under the bus. “I figured if I came here, it would only be an ethics violation or something. Pretty vain hope.”

+

Carter ground her palms against her eyes and shook her head. “I don’t know. Running from those guys, I guess. Trying to not look guilty, or at least look less guilty.” She considered expanding on what Prakash had said, on Prakash himself, then decided against it. If he was indeed helping her, that would be throwing him under the bus. Guilty of what, though, she didn’t know. “I figured if I came here, it would only be an ethics violation or something. Pretty vain hope.”

“Maybe.” Caitlin sounded unconvinced. “I guess it’s nice to meet you. I heard about you from the boss and Sasha.”

@@ -5089,7 +5175,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

And Ioan had thought that this would be easy.

-

Some of Dear’s cocladists did not want to go. They argued that it would be a danger to concentrate the clade in one place like this. That they could not express what that danger might be did not help their case. They would not go, they said, even with a forked instance.

+

Some of Dear’s cocladists not want to go. They argued that it would be a danger to concentrate the clade in one place like this. That they could not express what that danger might be did not help their case. They would not go, they said, even with a forked instance.

These took much persuasion. In the end, many agreed only if the entirety of the clade was there.

@@ -5099,7 +5185,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

Some of the more liberal members wanted to bring others, as did Dear by bringing Ioan, and this set off another round of debate. Further delays. They decided that they would only bring informed participants who had already played a role in the project.

-

With little else to do, Ioan read and waited. Ey read up on the history of the Ode clade. Ey read the Ode itself, hunting for hidden meanings. Ey read up on this form of public key encryption. Dear forked to teach em the encryption algorithm that used the deck of playing cards, and so ey read about manual encryption, and then the history of playing cards. Ey read and reread Ecclesiastes and all ey could about it. Ey even read about various mental vagaries and attempted to map them to Michelle Hadje, Qoheleth, Dear, and various members of the Clade which Dear talked (or, as time went on, ranted) about.

+

With little else to do, Ioan read and waited. Ey read up on what history of the Ode clade ey could find — mostly musings on art and theatre. Ey read the Ode itself, hunting for hidden meanings. Ey read up on this form of public key encryption. Dear forked to teach em the encryption algorithm that used the deck of playing cards, and so ey read about manual encryption, and then the history of playing cards. Ey read and reread Ecclesiastes and all ey could about it. Ey even read about various mental vagaries and attempted to map them to Michelle Hadje, Qoheleth, Dear, and various members of the Clade which Dear talked (or, as time went on, ranted) about.

This last was mostly for fun, but ey was also beginning to strategize eir report. More than a report, ey wanted to write something that would stand on its own. A book, perhaps, or at least an article. An essay and formal report for Dear, and a smoothed, anonymized version for wider publication. If the clade would let em, at least. Ey wanted the result to be readable, rather than simply an account of events. Something that would help explain the whys and hows of an older clade in turmoil. Something to express the rising panic ey felt about aging in a timeless place, about memory and the importance of forgetting.

@@ -5109,8 +5195,8 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

And finally, the day had come. It had been nearly two weeks after deciphering Qoheleth’s last message, but it had finally come. There had been no further communications from the wayward Odist. He seemed patient enough to wait.

-

-RJ Brewster — 2112 +

+AwDae — 2112

@@ -5119,7 +5205,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

No images. No images. Not real ones. Nothing real in this empty space. Ey could see, but why? Why see eir flat? Why see Prisca? Why see anything?

-

So ey didn’t. Ey dreamt emself blind. More than blind. Eir dreaming mind ensured that there was no such thing as sight. That it had never existed. Did not exist for emself. Had never existed for anyone.

+

So ey did not. Ey dreamt emself blind. More than blind. Eir dreaming mind ensured that there was no such thing as sight. That it had never existed. Did not exist for emself. Had never existed for anyone.

Ey was like the theater. Ey was vast, incomprehensible spaces. Ey was the lack of the concept of space. Ey was words. Ey was information. Ey was sound, and the only sound was eir voice.

@@ -5137,7 +5223,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

When ey woke — when ey dreamed emself awake — AwDae answered eir own question: “To know one’s true name is to know god. To know god is to answer unasked questions.”

-

And as ey thought upon eir true name, eir mind wandered across what remained in eir exo. Wandered across the deck on Cicero. Wandered across those cards and did not ask.

+

And as ey thought upon eir true name, eir mind wandered across what remained in eir exo. Wandered across the deck on Cicero. Wandered across those cards for centuries at a time, millennia, and did not ask.

And there it was.

@@ -5145,7 +5231,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

What mattered the vote? What mattered the comments? What mattered the content, the cost? What mattered the golden fleece, or any MacGuffin? It could have been a flashlight with an amber filter in a suitcase just as easily as it could have been a declaration of war against the Sino-Russian Bloc. Chekhov’s vote.

-

It didn’t matter. All that mattered is that those who had seen it — had seen the vote, who had interacted with it, who had interacted with it at however many levels of remove — were personae non gratae from that point on. Easier for them to not be. Easier to admit the mystery of the lost into the collective consciousness than to let such come to light. What cared the world of billions for the hundreds of lost? What cared the powers that be for the resistance of however many dozens that were now lost?

+

It did not matter. All that mattered is that those who had seen it — had seen the vote, who had interacted with it, who had interacted with it at however many levels of remove — were personae non gratae from that point on. Easier for them to not be. Easier to admit the mystery of the lost into the collective consciousness than to let such come to light. What cared the world of billions for the hundreds of lost? What cared the powers that be for the resistance of however many dozens that were now beyond reach?

Ey rambled beyond the deck, beyond eir flat, beyond Prisca. Ey wandered across the interior of eir skull until ey stepped up onto the stoop of eir exo.

@@ -5165,9 +5251,9 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

And there it was: the answer.

-

There, standing tall, as proud as any other memory, was a routine. And when AwDae gazed into its porcelain face, ey understood. And when that porcelain face gazed back, it smiled beatifically.

+

There, standing tall, as proud as any other memory, was a subroutine. And when AwDae gazed into its porcelain face, ey understood. And when that porcelain face gazed back, it smiled beatifically.

-

There it was: the very routine, the very bug exploited, the very program triggered at the order of some higher power. The very entity which had painted the inside of eir exo with silver and glass that left em trapped within. There was the virus in all its glory. Its subtle curves meant to fit the space of an exo’s logic perfectly. Its ability to recognize actions. Its ability to cut off the outside world. Its ability to ride shotgun along regular software updates. Security, it promised. Added security along the barrier between waking and dreaming.

+

There it was: the very subroutine, the very bug exploited, the very program triggered at the order of some higher power. The very entity which had painted the inside of eir exo with silver and glass that left em trapped within. There was the virus in all its glory. Its subtle curves meant to fit the space of an exo’s logic perfectly. Its ability to recognize actions. Its ability to cut off the outside world. Its ability to ride shotgun along regular software updates. Security, it promised. Added security along the barrier between waking and dreaming.

It smiled, and AwDae laughed.

@@ -5205,7 +5291,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

Ey focused on eir job as amanuensis.

-

Ey was surprised at the variety of the cladists. It made sense, of course, for a dispersionista clade, but it was the direction in which the differences headed which intrigued em. The most notable difference was the species presentation ratio. Many of the cladists were still human, mostly short women with dark hair.

+

Ey was surprised at the variety of the cladists. It made sense, of course, for a dispersionista clade, but it was the direction in which the differences headed which intrigued em. The most notable difference was the species presentation ratio. Many of the cladists were still human, mostly short woman with dark hair.

“Fewer foxes than I had imagined,” Ioan observed.

@@ -5219,11 +5305,11 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

Of those that bore forms other than fox and human, Ioan could not tell. Ey supposed that ey would do some research after the fact to try and place name to species and species to line in the Ode. Perhaps there was a pattern, and perhaps not.

-

“You must understand that while uploading was attractive early on to those with an interest in exploring the different shapes a body could take,” Dear had explained. “Few were able to accomplish that on initial upload. Many furries uploaded, few wound up looking like their avatars in the sims of the past. You wind up looking like how your brain pictures itself on some level more fundamental than merely preference.”

+

“You must understand that while uploading was attractive early on to those with an interest in explroing the differen shapes a body could take,” Dear had explained. “Few were able to accomplish that on initial upload. Many furries uploaded, few wound up looking like their avatars in the sims of the past. You wind up looking like how your brain pictures itself on some level more fundamental than merely preference.”

Ey nodded. “I look much how I did before, yes, though I’ve made a few changes.”

-

“Changes require forking, though, yes? And if forking is expensive…” The fox trailed off, shrugged.

+

“Many changes require forking, though, yes? And if forking is expensive…” The fox trailed off, shrugged.

Ey supposed it was due to the individual preferences that each long-lived fork had gained in its time away from the root of the clade once forking became cheaper. The remaining Odists who had not changed — or who had changed very little — even after the cost had come down were the ones who Ioan suspected Dear referred to as “conservatives”.

@@ -5241,11 +5327,11 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

And then it was time. Dear announced that the party would be leaving in five minutes.

-

-RJ Brewster — 2112 +

+AwDae — 2112

-

“Time is a finger pointed at itself,” AwDae informed Priscilla. This Priscilla. Not the real one, no. The one ey created. The one ey dreamed. “That it might give the world orders. The world is an audience before a stage where it watches the slow hours progress.”

+

“Time is a finger pointing at itself,” AwDae informed Priscilla. This Priscilla. Not the real one, no. The one ey created. The one ey dreamed. “That it might give the world orders. The world is an audience before a stage where it watches the slow hours progress.”

The cat purred to em.

@@ -5261,13 +5347,13 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

Was ey stuck? Perhaps, yes. If so, then so be it. Ey would sleep. Ey would dream.

-

And ey would make. Ey would create. Ey would forge, not hone. Ey would build the world ey would live in, if this was the world ey was to die in. Ey would have it be precisely as ey would want. And why not? ey told emself. In this end of days, I must reach for new beginnings.

+

And ey would make. Ey would create. Ey would forge, not hone. Ey would build the world ey would live in, if this was they world ey was to die in. Ey would have it be precisely as ey would want. And why not? ey told emself. In this end of days, I must reach for new beginnings.

So ey created.

The far wall of eir London flat was gone now, opening out onto the open space behind eir childhood home. The comfort of one home leading directly out onto the comfort of the next. The smooth hardwood floor, worn almost to softness by decades of use, transitioned smoothly to shortgrass prairie. Ey could sit at eir desk chair — remolded to accommodate a fox’s tail — and watch the turbines turn laconically in the breeze.

-

When ey slept, and ey did, ey would bring about sunset. Had the day been clear, clouds would move in. Not many, but enough to pick up a riot of colors as the light dipped from white down through yellow, orange, red, salmon, purple… And then the sun would be down and ey would sit on the threshold of the two worlds, of the two times and two universes, and enjoy the scents and sounds that night brought em. Dream senses. Heightened senses as a fox might have.

+

When ey slept, and ey did, ey would bring about sunset. Had the day been clear, clouds would move in. Not many, but enough to pick up a riot of colors as the light dipped from white down through yellow, orange, salmon, red, purple… And then the sun would be down and ey would sit on the threshold of the two worlds, of the two times and two universes, and enjoy the scents and sounds that night brought em. Dream senses. Heightened senses as a fox might have.

And then ey would bring back into being the wall between the worlds and sleep. Ey would find eir room the perfect temperature. It would be cold enough that ey would need blankets, but not so cold as to be uncomfortable. And Prisca would come curl up next to em. And ey would pet her while she dozed. And ey would sleep without dreaming.

@@ -5301,9 +5387,9 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

Aha! Dear sent a sensorium message. A view of a crowd and it announcing that they would be leaving in five minutes. Surprising turnout, even. I had expected most of the clade, but here, it looks like I will be expecting the entire clade plus a few here and there — I can see Ioan next to Dear, there — in just a few minutes.

-

A bit strange to not see Michelle herself there. Not only that, but to have not heard from her, either. On consideration, I am not too surprised that she will not be showing up — not happy, granted, but not surprised — but I am a bit miffed that I have yet to hear from her.

+

A bit strange to not see Michelle herself there. Not only that, but to have not heard from her, either. On consideration, I am not too surprised that she will not be showing up — not happy, granted, but not surprised — but I am a bit miffed that I have yet to hear from her. Perhaps she struggles still.

-

Will make a note to contact her down the line. While I suspect she may be one of the more normal of those of us left, that is not to say that she is safe from this building problem, nor that she is necessarily sane simply by virtue of being the root branch. We know madness, do we not?

+

Will make a note to contact her down the line. While I suspect she may be perhaps the most broken of all of us, that is not to say that she is safe from this particular building problem as well, nor that she is necessarily safe simply by virtue of being the root instance. We know madness, do we not?

I am going to shut down all the exits from this room so that there will be less incentive to wander away. Not that I have a whole lot left, mind. I had probably better increase the size, too, in order to fit everyone comfortably. How much room does each Odist need? How much space does one two-hundred twenty year old mind, copied 100 times over, occupy?

@@ -5329,7 +5415,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

Qoheleth.

-

Ioan wasn’t sure how ey knew. It was a primal knowledge, an immediate judgement than must be correct, something more than what was implied by him being there, in that place at that time. Qoheleth.

+

Ioan wasn’t sure how ey knew. It was a primal knowledge, an immediate judgement that must be correct, something more than what was implied by him being there, in that place at that time. Qoheleth.

He was about Dear’s height, a touch heavier, and had affected a greying beard and receding hairline. His clothes were a simple cream tunic and trousers of…was that leather? Coarse linen blurred by distance and softened by age? Atop it all, a ruddy brown robe.

@@ -5337,7 +5423,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

The murmuring doubled, trebled, subsided.

-

Qoheleth smiled, fatherly, and called out to the group, “Welcome, cocladists. Good to see most of you again, and I am sure it will be pleasant to meet the rest of you later.”

+

Qoheleth smiled, fatherly, and called out to the group, “Welcome, Odists. Good to see most of you again, and I am sure it will be pleasant to meet the rest of you later.”

Silence. Confused. A silence part curious, part angry.

@@ -5361,13 +5447,13 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

“There is a problem cropping up in the older uploads and their clades. A bug, of sorts. It is a small one now, but it will get plenty worse over time.

-

“Actually, it may not be a problem with the uploads at all, but a problem with the system. We are stuck. We are frozen in a few ways, but not the right ones, if there is such a thing. We are eternal, and that which is eternal should be unchanging. Anything that changes should end. You know this. The creator of the Ode knew this. The problem is forgetting and aging. We cannot forget. We never age. We are stuck. We never grow.”

+

“Actually, it may not be a problem with the uploads at all, but a problem with the System. We are stuck. We are frozen in a few ways, but not the right ones, if there is such a thing. We are eternal, and that which is eternal should be unchanging. Anything that changes should end. You know this. The creator of the Ode knew this. The problem is forgetting and aging. We cannot forget. We never age. We are stuck. We never grow.”

Dear was nodding.

“Perhaps some of you sense the wrongness in this, but I am worried that it is too few of you. I called you here to teach you why this is a problem.” Qoheleth ignored the indignant sounds from the audience and kept going. He seemed to be in a rhythm. Following a script, of sorts. Further stagecraft. “It feels good to be forever young, to be forever ourselves, does it not? We last and last and last, and there is no sign of us stopping. But even if the physical and biological aspects of aging have been obviated by the system, by being digital, the need to age and change is still there. It is a need backed by sanity and diversity rather and biology.

-

“Sanity drives the need because we cannot forget. For memory ends at the teeth of death, yes? I see you there. And you, The end of memory lies beneath the roots, yes? Perhaps some of you have figured out ways to intentionally forget, but forgetting needs to be an organic process. It needs to be something that happens to us, not just something that we choose to do. All we can do is ignore, now, but even so, that drives us further from sanity. It is at most a limitation of the system applied to our sensoria, our minds.”

+

“Sanity drives the need because we cannot forget. For memory ends at the teeth of death, yes? I see you there. And you, The end of memory lies beneath the roots, yes? Perhaps some of you have figured out ways to intentionally forget, but forgetting needs to be an organic process. It needs to be something that happens to us, not just something that we choose to do. All we can do is ignore, now, but even so, that drives us further from sanity. It is at most a limitation of the System applied to our sensoria, our minds.”

Gaining confidence, Qoheleth was speaking louder, more fluently. “Diversity, because we need to change more than just our shapes and those memories originating after the fork.

@@ -5389,13 +5475,13 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

Qoheleth had time to let out a soft “hah”. It sounded bemused, a mild surprise. And then began to artifact and jitter on the platform.

-

The death lasted perhaps five seconds, the old man’s internals struggled against the intrusion of the virus, before he crashed. Crashed and disappeared from sight much as the assassin had. The small, black sphere of a core dump dropped to the floor with a thud.

+

The death lasted perhaps five seconds, the old man’s internals struggled against the intrusion of the virus, before he crashed. Crashed and disappeared from sight much as the assassin had. The small, black sphere of a core dump dropped the floor with a thud.

It would doubtless be corrupted. They always were.

By the time Ioan managed to look back to the room, the conservatives had all left or quit.

-

Uproar was too strong a word for what happened among the remainder of thecrowd. There were a few scattered shouts, mostly of surprise, but the rest was concerned murmuring. For its part, Dear stamped a foot and began to pace in the small space it had, tail lashing behind it. “When Memory is full,” it was muttering. “Put on the perfect Lid —”

+

Uproar was too strong a word for what happened among the remainder of the crowd. There were a few scattered shouts, mostly of surprise, but the rest was concerned murmuring. For its part, Dear stamped a foot and began to pace in the small space it had, tail lashing behind it. “When Memory is full,” it was muttering. “Put on the perfect Lid —”

“What just happened?” Ioan whispered to the fox when it came close.

@@ -5411,13 +5497,13 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

I have them! I finally, really, truly have them!

-

I do not know that I have them all hooked, not completely, but I did it. I set my mind in motion by will alone. I count those who are not hooked. Mostly first and second lines, mostly like me. How did they go so wrong, though? I am a first-line instance. Michelle’s second fork, even, and I did not turn out so bad. Did I?

+

I don not know that I have them all hooked, not completely, but I did it. What was it? I set my mind in motion by will alone? I count those who are not hooked. Mostly first and second lines, mostly like me. How did they go so wrong, though? I am a first-line instance. Michelle’s second fork, even, and I did not turn out so bad. Did I?

Well, I turned out pretty messed up, but only because I suffered the same fate that they all will. Perhaps were already! Only I suffered it a little bit earlier. I started going bonkers from the sheer amount of stuff in my head. I started living too long, living my Methuselah life while still having my Michelle mind. Nothing was getting out of my head. Nothing could get out of my head. An impossible poison.

Oh, and I have such grand plans!

-

Grand plans of organizing a petition among all the founders and old clades, with the Ode clade leading and me leading them in turn. A petition to the system engineers to hire some damn developers again and stop treating this like abandonware. Abandonware that gives them, what, a dumping ground for the poor and a small brain trust? Get some devs in there and give us the ability forget and the ability to die. Hell, maybe even the ability to reproduce, to breed. The word is even in my name — my old name — for chrissake.

+

Grand plans of organizing a petition among all the founders and old clades, with the Ode clade leading and me leading them in turn. A petition to the System engineers to hire some damn developers again and stop treating this like abandonware. Abandonware that gives them a dumping ground for the poor and a small brain trust. Get some devs in there and give us the ability forget and the ability to die. Hell, maybe even the ability to reproduce, to breed. The word is even in my name — my old name — for chrissake.

As I continue through my spiel, I can tell I am hooking the liberals. The later stanzas, most of all. Dear’s sold completely, I can see it on its face. Can see it on Dear’s other fox sib, on Praiseworthy. Dear’s whole stanza.

@@ -5455,8 +5541,8 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

So close.

-

-Dr Carter Ramirez — 2112 +

+Dr. Carter Ramirez — 2112

Caitlin helped Carter wheel the mirror rig into place.

@@ -5489,7 +5575,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

She was dizzy and the words kept blurring in and out of focus, but she was eventually able to select ‘Mirror all”, and with a teeth-rattling pop, the world came into focus.

-

Not the room, the whole world. RJ/Carter sat on a low bench at the edge of a small pond. The bench sat at the edge of a trail in the midst of a narrow ridge of dry, knee-high grass. Cottonwoods dotted the rim of the pond, which was peanut shaped with a short bridge crossing the narrowest section. Behind em/her: a shortgrass prairie, stretching to a valley. Wind turbines.

+

Not the room, the whole world. RJ/Carter sat on a low bench at the edge of a small pond. The bench sat at the edge of a trail in the midst of a narrow ridge of dry, knee-high grass. Cottonwoods dotted the rim of the pond, peanut shaped with a short bridge crossing the narrowest section. Behind em/her: a shortgrass prairie, stretching to a valley. Wind turbines.

RJ/Carter was murmuring, was speaking aloud. “May one day death itself not die? Should we rejoice in the end of endings? What is the correct thing to hope for? I do not know, I do not know.”

@@ -5535,11 +5621,11 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

Paws tore at grass, though no longer with panic but with anger/frustration. This was unconscionable/taking too long.

-

Ey didn’t have time for this/she didn’t have time for this.

+

Ey did not have time for this/she didn’t have time for this.

The veil tore.

-

“RJ, I’m going to stop mirroring. Please don’t. Please leave me RJ we don’t have much time and please leave me alone RJ, Caitlin and Johansson are here.”

+

“RJ, I’m going to stop mirroring. Please do not. Please leave me RJ we don’t have much time and please leave me alone RJ, Caitlin and Johansson are here.”

And with a final rending, the veil disappeared completely and Carter swiped from mirroring to coexisting, and in that grey, default shape sat on the ground by the weeping fox. “RJ…AwDae. I shouldn’t be here. At the UMC, I mean. We don’t have too much time. The police are outside and arguing with Johansson. Can you feel for the exit?”

@@ -5573,7 +5659,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

“I don’t know.”

-

AwDae sagged against her. “I know I should come with. But in case I don’t, here is what happened.”

+

AwDae sagged against her. “I know I should come with. But in case I do not, here is what happened.”

Carter tamped down her impatience and let the fox speak. Let em speak about the experience of getting lost. Let em speak about dreaming and the mirroring of exo- and endocortices. Let em speak about Cicero and the vote in the DDR, the trap that had been triggered by some outside authority. Let em confirm all her suspicions and then some.

@@ -5583,7 +5669,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

Had any time gone by?

-

Carter could feel the maddening influence of this non-place, so detailed in appearance. She could feel the way the dream buffeted her, drew smudging lines away from her mind. Pulled at words, wrapped her in blankets of language. unforgotten. Something innate made real. Memory froze, and forgetting was forgotten. And yet, when she focused, she could still feel that cool breeze of the exit behind her. She focused on that.

+

Carter could feel the maddening influence of this non-place, so detailed in appearance. She could feel the way the dream buffeted her, drew smudging lines away from her mind. Pulled at words, wrapped her in blankets of language. Unforgotten. Something innate made real. Memory froze, and forgetting was forgotten. And yet, when she focused, she could still feel that cool breeze of the exit behind her. She focused on that.

“Thank you, AwDae,” she said when ey finally fell silent. “This confirms much of what we learned in the lab and in talking with Sasha.”

@@ -5591,7 +5677,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

“She contacted me, yes. I wasn’t supposed to, but I talked with her and Johansson both.”

-

Ey subsided. “I’m glad to hear she’s alright, then.”

+

Ey subsided. “I am glad to hear she is alright, then.”

Carter frowned. “She isn’t, though. She got lost about an hour ago. Or something, I can’t tell time in this place. I delved in to pass on information before the police caught up with me, and Debarre and I watched her get lost. That’s what led me to try the mirror rig. You should–”

@@ -5609,9 +5695,9 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

RJ’s eyes were open. Confused and anxious, but cogent and bright.

-

Before she could rejoice, before anyone could stop her, even herself, she delved back in. Delved back in to the sim, then swiped ‘net access on. She signed on, dropped intoto her home sim, and swiped up an audio broadcast to Sasha, Debarre, Avery, Prakash, Johansson, her MP…everyone she could think of, and began talking. Those that were not listening live would receive a recording.

+

Before she could rejoice, before anyone could stop her, even herself, she delved back in. Delved back in to the sim, then swiped ‘net access on. She signed on, dropped into her home sim, and swiped up an audio broadcast to Sasha, Debarre, Avery, Prakash, Johansson, her MP…everyone she could think of, and began talking. Those that were not listening live would receive a recording.

-

“My name is Dr Carter Ramirez, researcher at University College London studying the lost. We have succeeded in waking up one patient, RJ Brewster, and have discovered the mechanism by which individuals get lost. The police and Western Fed agents are here to prevent me from saying this, I think, so if I disconnect, that is why. Do not use the DDR. This is the source of the mechanism as described by Mx Brewster.”

+

“My name is Dr Carter Ramirez, researcher at University College London studying the lost. We have succeeded in waking up one patient, RJ Brewster, and have discovered the mechanism by which individuals get lost. The police and Western Fed agents are here to prevent me from saying this, I think, so if I disconnect, that is why. Do not use the DDR. This is the source of the mechanism as described by Mx. Brewster.”

She kept speaking until she had exhausted the knowledge of what she had learned over the last week. The pressure from on high. Sanders’ carefully-constructed ruse. The data shifting. The rising panic. The only thing she left out was Prakash’s involvement, the Sino-Russian Bloc’s interest in the case.

@@ -5625,13 +5711,13 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

After the assassination, with no one to lead and no reason to remain, the rest of the Odists and their friends left. Dear’s pacing wound down. It eventually stopped, shoulders sagging.

-

“Come on, we should go back.” Then it turned and addressed some others near by, mostly from the same stanza, by the historian’s guess. “Any of you are welcome, too.”

+

“Come, we should return.” Then it turned and addressed some others near by, mostly from the same stanza, by the historian’s guess. “Any of you are welcome, too.”

It was Ioan, Dear, Serene, and Praiseworthy — the first line of the stanza and down-tree instance from Dear — who wound up back at the house. They entered the sim twenty meters from the front door, where Ioan had originally arrived so long ago. Those few days ago. They trudged slowly up to the house.

Dear’s partner greeted them at the door, silent. Perhaps Dear had sent ahead a message, for they greeted the group and then stayed out of the way. They disappeared and returned shortly with mugs of coffee.

-

The four witnesses slumped into the couch. A universal sigh. Dear and Serene leaning against each other, and Dear’s partner claimed on a stolen dining-room chair nearby.

+

The four witnesses slumped into the couch. A universal sigh. Dear and Serene leaned against each other, and Dear’s partner claimed on a stolen dining-room chair nearby.

“So,” they said, finally. “What happened?”

@@ -5647,11 +5733,11 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

Serene simply shook her head.

-

Praiseworthy shrugged, looking what Ioan thought might be glum, though her gestures and expressions took additional work to decode. Ioan had learned to understand Dear’s expressions and movements, but she was another animal, of some form different from Dear and Serene. Black fur, white stripes retreating up along her snout and over her head. Thick tail that looked delightfully soft. Many of the clade matched her more closely than they did Dear. “I’m not surprised, really. Not happy, but not surprised.”

+

Praiseworthy shrugged, looking what Ioan thought might be glum, though her gestures and expressions took additional work to decode. Ioan had learned to understand Dear’s expressions and movements, but she was another animal, of some form different from Dear and Serene. Black fur, white stripes retreating up along her snout and over her head. Thick tail that looked delightfully soft. Many of the clade matched her more closely than they did Dear. “I am not surprised, really. Not happy, but not surprised.”

Ioan turned to Dear. “You alright?”

-

It was a moment in responding before it nodded. “I am with Praiseworthy. I am not surprised, but not happy. Kind of pissed, actually,” it said, smiling sardonically. “That was short-sighted of them, though, because I have a hunch that Qoheleth was right.”

+

It was a moment in responding before it nodded. “I am with Praiseworthy. I am not surprised, but not happy,” it said, smiling sardonically. “Rather pissed, actually. That was short-sighted of them, though, because I have a hunch that Qoheleth was right.”

"”Right”?”

@@ -5663,7 +5749,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

Dear shot a glance at its partner, laughed. “You two get along, I see. Yes, it does. I think I did it, too, unless there is some association I missed. I cannot remember it for the life of me.”

-

“You will have to tell me how you did that, Dear.” Serene laughed.

+

“You will have to tell me how you did that, Dear,” Serene said.

“Later, yes. I think Qoheleth was right, though. We need forgetting. We need breeding and change and death.” @@ -5690,7 +5776,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

Ioan and Dear’s partner shook their heads, while both Serene and Praiseworthy frowned.

-“The origin of the system came from the lost, from the turmoils of the early twenty-second century, though one could perhaps trace roots further back into the twenty-first. Prior to the system, the ‘net on Earth required engaging with through another thing called exocortices. Implants along the spine, with tendrils trailing along nerves.” +“The origin of the system came from the lost, from the turmoils of the early twenty-second century, though one could perhaps trace roots further back into the twenty-first. Prior to the System, the ‘net on Earth required engaging with through another thing called exocortices. Implants along the spine, with tendrils trailing along nerves.”

Serene and Praiseworthy both reached up to rub at the backs of their necks.

@@ -5701,13 +5787,11 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

“You mean they kept the name to refer to something similar?”

-

Dear shrugged. “I suppose. All that we experienced in that dream also wound up cached in those implants, and it was that cache that helped the engineers on the early system to construct the shared dream that is the system today.”

+

Dear shrugged. “I suppose. All that we experienced in that dream also wound up cached in those implants, and it was that cache that helped the engineers on the early system to construct the shared dream that is the System today.”

Ioan ground eir palms against eir slacks. This information, this dump of the past, was doing nothing to quell the anxiety of the previous hour. “Right, okay. How are they only an incomplete fix to forgetting?”

-

-“You are still stuck with the knowledge that they exist and their inventory, yes? That’s why I cannot forget that the Name exists. I cannot forget my origins or that there is an exo containing them. One which I cannot forget. Not unless I go through the whole shitty process again — sorry, Serene, it was not pleasant. I could forget that bit of knowledge, but then what? I will have the knowledge that I have an exo that I cannot access pointing to something of dire importance. Can you imagine that feeling of lingering dread being a constant factor in life?” -

+

“You are still stuck with the knowledge that they exist and their inventory, yes? That is why I cannot forget that the Name exists. I cannot forget my origins or that there is an exo containing them. One which I cannot forget. Not unless I go through the whole shitty process again — sorry, Serene, it was not pleasant, my dear. I could forget that bit of knowledge, but then what? I will have the knowledge that I have an exo that I cannot access pointing to something of dire importance. Can you imagine that feeling of lingering dread being a constant factor in life?”

Ioan shifted, leaning forward to rest eir elbows on eir knees, eir chin in eir hand. Ey sipped eir coffee as ey thought.

@@ -5715,7 +5799,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

Dear’s partner, frowned. “Neither do I, fox.”

-

The fennec laughed and shook its head, ears flopping about. “Trust me, I do not either. I do not think many do. I just think we need death, or something like it, as part of the system. Death. Fear of death. Needs and reasons to survive in the face of an inevitable end.”

+

The fennec laughed and shook its head, ears flopping about. “Trust me, I do not either. I do not think many do. I just think we need death, or something like it, as part of the System. Death. Fear of death. Needs and reasons to survive in the face of an inevitable end.”

"”Something like it”?” asked Praiseworthy.

@@ -5831,7 +5915,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

She stood/she stood.

-

Poetry coursed through her, half remembered/perfectly memorized lines from productions long past. Lines from school, from work. “Since then — ‘tis centuries — and yet feels shorter than the day I first surmised the horse’s heads were toward eternity —”

+

Poetry coursed through her, half remembered/perfectly memorized lines from productions long past. Lines from school, from work. “Since then — ‘tis Centuries — and yet Feels shorter than the Day I first surmised the Horse’s Heads Were toward Eternity —”

It had been centuries for her, and yet each felt shorter than the crash to the ground from out of the perilous heights of the embodied world. Time feels so vast that were it not For an Eternity…

@@ -5861,7 +5945,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

“A mirror rig.” The joyous tone of the words clashed against the tears still flowing freely. “We figured it out. Carter figured it out, I mean. She and AwDae busted everything open. Figured out how to rescue the lost, figured out how everyone gets lost in the first place.”

-

She stopped digging at the earth. “AwDae’s back?”

+

She stopped digging at the earth. “AwDae is back?”

“Yes! And the clinic where Cicero is is trying to get him out as well!”

@@ -5871,7 +5955,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

“I’m going to stop mirroring now. This is horrifying,” she said to the wood of the bar. She did not know who said the last, Debarre or herself. Was there a difference?

-

And then, a hand on her shoulder. One of her shoulders. The sensation made her hair/fur stand on end. She turned around, and there was Debarre. Or so she guessed. The grey, default avatar. The figure frowned as he looked between the two of her. Looked at Michelle/looked at Sasha.

+

And then, a hand on her shoulder. One of her shoulders. The sensation made her hair/fur stand on end, made her stomach churn. She turned around, and there was Debarre. Or so she guessed. The grey, default avatar. The figure frowned as he looked between the two of her. Looked at Michelle/looked at Sasha.

“I…what? Sasha?”

@@ -5933,7 +6017,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

#c1494bf was startled by a pang of jealousy. The experience had felt so hard-won, more so than most of eir experiences. To leave #Tracker burdened with it while ey went off to have further experiences felt like an intrusion. To create a long-lived fork was a new thing, though, and ey supposed there would be many discussions on it to come.

-

Ey forked into #0224ebe8, a signifier that felt somehow familiar, and then #c1494bf quit, letting #Tracker handle the merge. Eir frown deepened, and the two agreed that they would talk about it in the future.

+

Ey forked off a new instance and then quit, letting #Tracker handle the merge while ey — this new instance of em — lived on. Eir frown deepened, and the two agreed that they would talk about it in the future.

The new fork bowed, then headed to that delightfully modern house on the prairie.

@@ -5983,7 +6067,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

“Precisely. It was strange,” ey mused. “When #Tracker– when Ioan asked that I merge, I felt a bit of jealousy, and I wasn’t quite sure why. Despite all of the other projects that I’ve approached with a fork leading to no such feelings, something about this one made it feel like a stranger was asking me to give up something intimate.”

-

Dear laughed. “The very thing that keeps me from being anything other than a dispersionista. Jealousy is a sign of needs not met, and one of my needs — one of the clade’s needs — is that of ownership over memory. I would be furious if Praiseworthy asked me to merge with her.”

+

Dear laughed. “The very thing that keeps me from being anything other than a dispersionista. Jealousy is a sign of needs not met, and one of my needs — one of the clade’s needs — is that of ownership over memory. We would be quite furious if Praiseworthy asked me to merge with her.”

Ey grinned and nodded.

@@ -6023,7 +6107,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

“I think that this applies to more than just the sense that it has come to mean here and now. I think that if you go for a walk in a strange city and get lost, there is some aspect of that which is similar to madness. You walk the strange streets and see the strange people and strange buildings, and eventually, it all seems to blur together and your thoughts wander. They wander beyond the limits of your body and your mind. They soar above the city and try to make sense of these unknown, shifting shapes. They try to draw sensible paths from the turns you took. I turned left there, did I not? Or did I?”

-

The sombre group of diverse species was mostly looking at her. Animals of all shapes, anthropomorphism of all levels. Even some humans, for there was Carter, looking much as she had at that first ceremony.

+

The somber group of diverse species was mostly looking at her. Animals of all shapes, anthropomorphism of all levels. Even some humans, for there was Carter, looking much as she had at that first ceremony.

And some looked down. AwDae looked at her, keen-eyed. Debarre looked down, shaking with sobs.

@@ -6045,13 +6129,15 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

She raised a glass. “To Cicero.”

-

The crowd echoed, intent, shaky but one hundred percent present in the moment. “To Cicero”

+

The crowd echoed, intent, shaky but one hundred percent present in the moment. “To Cicero.”

The rest of the evening was quiet, subdued. Sasha and AwDae sat with Debarre, each to one side. They supported the weasel as he cried. Cried over his twice lost partner, cried over the cruel vagaries of family which had kept him from attending the day’s first funeral. They supported him with silence and listening.

And when he had cried himself out and was willing to admit something other than mourning into the night, then they rejoiced together.

-

And if Sasha and AwDae were in some way distant, in some way not wholly there, Debarre either ignored it for forgave them their madness.

+

And if Sasha and AwDae were in some way distant, in some way not wholly there, Debarre either ignored it or forgave them their madness.

+ +

Epilogue

RJ Brewster — 2114 @@ -6073,7 +6159,7 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

I have volunteered for an early procedure. A way back. Or, rather, a way to a new place. A way to be embedded within a system, rather than simply within a hall of mirrors. I cannot say where, other than it is not in the Western Fed. All I can tell you is that the world should expect big things when it comes to what we have learned from the lost.

-

I will not say that there is no chance that we may some day meet again. My body will die, I’m told, but should my mind and my sense of self miraculously survive, then I will be on my own once more. This time, however, it will be my choice.

+

I will not say that there is no chance that we may some day meet again. My body will die, I am told, but should my mind and my sense of self miraculously survive, then I will be on my own once more. This time, however, it will be my choice.

There will be those who come after. Perhaps you will come after. Perhaps you will yearn for that return to the eternal dream where memory does not die. And maybe those who come after will do so for other reasons, but they will come.

@@ -6083,136 +6169,124 @@ Systime 181+338 1644

I have little else to offer but the imperfect words that plagued me while I was lost.

-
-

I am at a loss for images in this end of days:
-I have sight but cannot see.
-I build castles out of words;
-I cannot stop myself from speaking.
-I still have will and goals to attain,
-I still have wants and needs.
-And if I dream, is that not so?
-If I dream, am I no longer myself?
-If I dream, am I still buried beneath words?
-And I still dream even while awake.

+
+I am at a loss for images in this end of days: +I have sight but cannot see. +I build castles out of words; +I cannot stop myself from speaking. +I still have will and goals to attain, +I still have wants and needs. +And if I dream, is that not so? +If I dream, am I no longer myself? +If I dream, am I still buried beneath words? +And I still dream even while awake. -

Life breeds life, but death must now be chosen
-for memory ends at the teeth of death.
-The living know that they will die,
-but the dead know nothing.
-Hold my name beneath your tongue and know:
-when you die, thus dies the name.
-To deny the end is to deny all beginnings,
-and to deny beginnings is to become immortal,
-and to become immortal is to repeat the past,
-which cannot itself, in the end, be denied.

+Life breeds life, but death must now be chosen +for memory ends at the teeth of death. +The living know that they will die, +but the dead know nothing. +Hold my name beneath your tongue and know: +when you die, thus dies the name. +To deny the end is to deny all beginnings, +and to deny beginnings is to become immortal, +and to become immortal is to repeat the past, +which cannot itself, in the end, be denied. -

Oh, but to whom do I speak these words?
-To whom do I plead my case?
-From whence do I call out?
-What right have I?
-No ranks of angels will answer to dreamers,
-No unknowable spaces echo my words.
-Before whom do I kneel, contrite?
-Behind whom do I await my judgment?
-Beside whom do I face death?
-And why wait I for an answer?

+Oh, but to whom do I speak these words? +To whom do I plead my case? +From whence do I call out? +What right have I? +No ranks of angels will answer to dreamers, +No unknowable spaces echo my words. +Before whom do I kneel, contrite? +Behind whom do I await my judgment? +Beside whom do I face death? +And why wait I for an answer? -

Among those who create are those who forge:
-Moving ceaselessly from creation to creation.
-And those who remain are those who hone,
-Perfecting singular arts to a cruel point.
-To forge is to end, and to own beginnings.
-To hone is to trade ends for perpetual perfection.
-In this end of days, I must begin anew.
-In this end of days, I seek an end.
-In this end of days, I reach for new beginnings
-that I may find the middle path.

+Among those who create are those who forge: +Moving ceaselessly from creation to creation. +And those who remain are those who hone, +Perfecting singular arts to a cruel point. +To forge is to end, and to own beginnings. +To hone is to trade ends for perpetual perfection. +In this end of days, I must begin anew. +In this end of days, I seek an end. +In this end of days, I reach for new beginnings +that I may find the middle path. -

Time is a finger pointing at itself
-that it might give the world orders.
-The world is an audience before a stage
-where it watches the slow hours progress.
-And we are the motes in the stage-lights,
-Beholden to the heat of the lamps.
-If I walk backward, time moves forward.
-If I walk forward, time rushes on.
-If I stand still, the world moves around me,
-and the only constant is change.

+Time is a finger pointing at itself +that it might give the world orders. +The world is an audience before a stage +where it watches the slow hours progress. +And we are the motes in the stage-lights, +Beholden to the heat of the lamps. +If I walk backward, time moves forward. +If I walk forward, time rushes on. +If I stand still, the world moves around me, +and the only constant is change. -

Memory is a mirror of hammered silver:
-a weapon against the waking world.
-Dreams are the plate-glass atop memory:
-a clarifying agent that reflects the sun.
-The waking world fogs the view,
-and time makes prey of remembering.
-I remember sands beneath my feet.
-I remember the rattle of dry grass.
-I remember the names of all things,
-and forget them only when I wake.

+Memory is a mirror of hammered silver: +a weapon against the waking world. +Dreams are the plate-glass atop memory: +a clarifying agent that reflects the sun. +The waking world fogs the view, +and time makes prey of remembering. +I remember sands beneath my feet. +I remember the rattle of dry grass. +I remember the names of all things, +and forget them only when I wake. -

If I am to bathe in dreams,
-then I must be willing to submerge myself.
-If I am to submerge myself in memory,
-then I must be true to myself.
-If I am to always be true to myself,
-then I must in all ways be earnest.
-I must keep no veil between me and my words.
-I must set no stones between me and my actions.
-I must show no hesitation when speaking my name,
-for that is my only possession.

+If I am to bathe in dreams, +then I must be willing to submerge myself. +If I am to submerge myself in memory, +then I must be true to myself. +If I am to always be true to myself, +then I must in all ways be earnest. +I must keep no veil between me and my words. +I must set no stones between me and my actions. +I must show no hesitation when speaking my name, +for that is my only possession. -

The only time I know my true name is when I dream.
-The only time I dream is when need an answer.
-Why ask questions, here at the end of all things?
-Why ask questions when the answers will not help?
-To know one’s true name is to know god.
-To know god is to answer unasked questions.
-Do I know god after the end waking?
-Do I know god when I do not remember myself?
-Do I know god when I dream?
-May then my name die with me.

+The only time I know my true name is when I dream. +The only time I dream is when need an answer. +Why ask questions, here at the end of all things? +Why ask questions when the answers will not help? +To know one's true name is to know god. +To know god is to answer unasked questions. +Do I know god after the end waking? +Do I know god when I do not remember myself? +Do I know god when I dream? +May then my name die with me. -

That which lives is forever praiseworthy,
-for they, knowing not, provide life in death.
-Dear the wheat and rye under the stars:
-serene; sustained and sustaining.
-Dear, also, the tree that was felled
-which offers heat and warmth in fire.
-What praise we give we give by consuming,
-what gifts we give we give in death,
-what lives we lead we lead in memory,
-and the end of memory lies beneath the roots.

+That which lives is forever praiseworthy, +for they, knowing not, provide life in death. +Dear the wheat and rye under the stars: +serene; sustained and sustaining. +Dear, also, the tree that was felled +which offers heat and warmth in fire. +What praise we give we give by consuming, +what gifts we give we give in death, +what lives we lead we lead in memory, +and the end of memory lies beneath the roots. -

May one day death itself not die?
-Should we rejoice in the end of endings?
-What is the correct thing to hope for?
-I do not know, I do not know.
-To pray for the end of endings
-is to pray for the end of memory.
-Should we forget the lives we lead?
-Should we forget the names of the dead?
-Should we forget the wheat, the rye, the tree?
-Perhaps this, too, is meaningless.

-
+May one day death itself not die? +Should we rejoice in the end of endings? +What is the correct thing to hope for? +I do not know, I do not know. +To pray for the end of endings +is to pray for the end of memory. +Should we forget the lives we lead? +Should we forget the names of the dead? +Should we forget the wheat, the rye, the tree? +Perhaps this, too, is meaningless. + -

May this be the end of death. Failing that, may the memory of me die and be food for the growth for those who come after.

+

May this be the end of death. Failing that, may the memory of me die and be food for the growth of those who come after.

Yours always,

-

AwDae

- -

End

- -

-Colophon -

- -

This book is provided for free to be read online thanks to the support of my patrons. If you would like to support me in my writing, want to my work early, or even have a say in what I write, please consider supporting me there as well.

- -

This book uses the fonts Gentium Book Basic and Linux Biolinum.

- -

Cover by Iris Jay.

- +

AwDae +Continued in book II, Toledot

@@ -6222,11 +6296,9 @@ Perhaps this, too, is meaningless.

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