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content/read/048.md

@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@
 > May Then My Name
 > :   Oh, whatever. Just let me know when you get this!
 
-It took a moment for Douglas to compose himself when he returned to his terminal after yet another evening of sitting in the Pollux control tower, now largely remade into an observation bubble, despite the increased gravity. It was quiet, it was dark, it was calm, and there was nothing to see except the same Earth-rise-moon-rise cycle every thirty seconds or so.
+It took a moment for Douglas to compose himself when he returned to his terminal after yet another evening of sitting in the Pollux control tower, now largely remade into an observation bubble despite the increased gravity. It was quiet, it was dark, it was calm, and there was nothing to see except the same Earth-rise-moon-rise cycle every thirty seconds or so.
 
 So, when he returned back to his room to a series of messages that felt loud, bright, raucous, it took a moment for his mind to adjust.
 
@@ -83,7 +83,7 @@ So, when he returned back to his room to a series of messages that felt loud, br
 > :   Yes, you certainly could.
 > 
 > May Then My Name
-> :   You mentioned that there had been sabotage attempts. We were surprised when we heard that initially, but it had been in the middle of some other conversations that we did not want to derail, so we have been holding onto it until a time when there was not much else going on. Can you tell us about those?
+> :   You mentioned that there had been sabotage attempts. We were surprised when we heard that initially, but it had been in the middle of some other conversations that we did not want to derail, so we have been holding onto it until a time when there was not much else going on. Can you tell me about those?
 > 
 > Douglas
 > :   Oh, sure.
@@ -116,7 +116,7 @@ So, when he returned back to his room to a series of messages that felt loud, br
 > :   Depends on where you are and what you did. I think for something like attempted murder, he was just put in sim for a while, unable to back out.
 > 
 > May Then My Name
-> :   Really? What a nightmare.
+> :   Douglas, that is a nightmare.
 > 
 > Douglas
 > :   It's not like he's just put in a sim of a jail cell to rot or anything. As far as I know, it's just a tightly regimented day, most of it in a solitary sim, the rest in a shared sim with other prisoners.
@@ -164,7 +164,7 @@ So, when he returned back to his room to a series of messages that felt loud, br
 > :   Did they give you a reason for keeping it from us?
 > 
 > Douglas
-> :   They said it had political undertones because of the articles of secession. "No other governmental entity shall declare war on or attempt to destroy the System."
+> :   They said it had political ramifications because of the articles of secession. "No other governmental entity shall declare war on or attempt to destroy the System."
 > 
 > May Then My Name
 > :   They worried it might be considered it an act of war?
@@ -313,9 +313,9 @@ So, when he returned back to his room to a series of messages that felt loud, br
 > May Then My Name
 > :   Bye!
 
-Douglas leaned back from his terminal and stretched his arms up toward the ceiling, leaning back in his chair.
+Douglas pushed back from his terminal and stretched his arms up toward the ceiling, leaning back in his chair.
 
-Every time he talked with Ioan and May, he was once again faced with the realization that he had hardly needed Ioan to convince him at all. The two were the first people he could call friends that he'd had since school. He liked them immensely. Beyond that, though, something about May Then My Name seemed as though she was simply built to be liked, as though, whenever he talked with her, he had no choice but to like her.
+Every time he talked with Ioan and May, he was once again faced with the realization that he had hardly needed Ioan to convince him at all. The two were the first people he could call friends that he'd had since school. He liked them immensely. Beyond that, though, something about May Then My Name seemed as though she was simply built to be liked, as though whenever he talked with her, he had no choice *but* to like her.
 
 It wasn't quite charisma, as, whenever he tried the word on for May Then My Name, it carried far too many implications of manipulation, and the last thing he could picture her doing was being manipulative.