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content/read/061.md

@@ -1,12 +1,12 @@
 # Douglas Hadje --- 2326
 
-The arrangements required for this surprise for May Then My Name quickly began to feel overly complicated to Douglas, but, as Ioan kept reminding him, she was a very complicated person. She was also very perceptive, so there was apparently much secrecy required to make this plan work.
+The arrangements required for this surprise for May Then My Name quickly began to feel overly complicated to Douglas, but, as Ioan kept reminding him, she was a very complicated person. She was also very perceptive, so there was apparently much secrecy required to pull it off
 
 The lead-up to uploading, however, was easy. He supposed that much of it was that so much excitement combined with so much anxiety eventually left him feeling more numb than anything, some protective emotional reaction that kept him from simply exploding on one of his many, many walks.
 
-But anticlimax is simply the way of the world, and so the night before the one-year anniversary of the Launch arrived, he simply signed a waiver, walked to the clinic, answered a few questions, and then underwent the procedure. It was dizzying, disorienting, and, were he pressed to pick one, the worst physical experience of his life, but at that point, he was well past any point where he could turn back, and even then, he knew he wouldn't.
+But anticlimax is ever the way of the world, and so the night before the one-year anniversary of the Launch arrived, he simply signed a waiver, walked to the clinic, answered a few questions, and then underwent the procedure. It was dizzying, disorienting, and, were he pressed to pick one, the worst physical experience of his life, but at that point, he was well past any point where he could turn back, and even then, he knew he wouldn't.
 
-There was simply a brief discontinuity, and then he was standing in a grey cube of a room, naked, vertiginous, blinking at a light that seemed to come from nowhere.
+There was a brief --- or perhaps impossibly long --- discontinuity, and then he was standing in a grey cube of a room, naked, dizzy, blinking at a light that seemed to come from nowhere.
 
 Anticlimax indeed.
 
@@ -18,7 +18,7 @@ He crouched down, covering himself with his hands, and turned slowly. There was
 
 Douglas swallowed a few times, working up enough saliva to un-parch his throat. "Ioan? Is that you?"
 
-Ey laughed, nodded. "Well spotted. Now, do you want to get dressed?"
+Ey laughed, nodded. "Well spotted, though it is pronounced *yo-ahn*. Now, do you want to get dressed?"
 
 "Please," he said, looking around for clothes. There was only the gray floor, gray walls, gray ceiling.
 
@@ -92,19 +92,23 @@ Ioan sat down next to him. "Are you worried about that? Would you like to go els
 
 "And do they smell like muffins?"
 
-Wrong-footed, he stared at the historian for a moment, then plucked a dandelion and slowly lifted the yellow flower to his nose, struggling against the urge to keep that knowledge a dream rather than a reality.
+Wrong-footed, he stared at the historian for a moment, then plucked another dandelion and slowly lifted the yellow flower to his nose, struggling against the urge to keep that knowledge a dream rather than a reality.
 
 Then he breathed in the sweet, vegetal scent, and began to cry in earnest.
 
-Ioan sat with him in kind quiet. As ey had so long ago, ey didn't say anything, didn't try to comfort him, didn't touch him, just sat and remained present. It was as though he were there simply to witness those emotions and give testimony to them, and that, more than anything, made him feel welcome here. Welcome with Ioan, welcome in the field, welcome in the System.
+Ioan sat with him in kind quiet. As ey had so long ago, ey didn't say anything, didn't try to comfort him, didn't touch him, just sat and remained present. It was as though ey was there simply to witness those emotions and give testimony to them, and that, more than anything, made him feel welcome here. Welcome with Ioan, welcome in the field, welcome in the System.
 
 After the wave crested and then passed, he said, "Alright, so, what's the plan?"
 
-"You just stay the night here. You can think up a mattress or anything else you need to be comfortable. We'll be by tomorrow mid-morning for a picnic. I'm happy to stay, too, if you'd like, or give you space."
+"You just stay the night here. You can think up a mattress or anything else you need to be comfortable. You've been granted ownership of the sim by the...ah, temporary owners as next of kin."
+
+Tears stung his eyes once more at the implications, but he nodded all the same.
+
+"We'll be by tomorrow mid-morning for a picnic. I'm happy to stay, too, if you'd like, or give you space."
 
 "Won't May Then My Name miss-- oh, right. You're a fork, aren't you?"
 
-Ey smiled, nodded. "Of course. Ioan#Tracker is back at home getting pestered by May."
+Ey smiled, nodded. "Of course. Ioan#Tracker is back at home getting pestered by her."
 
 "Did you two wind up hooking up, then?" he asked, grinning.
 
@@ -148,7 +152,7 @@ She straightened up and frowned, head tilted, then turned to Ioan, who looked to
 
 Then the skunk began running, and as she did, dozens of other versions of her flickered into and out of existence around her, a confusing rush of skunks that obscured which was the original, all grinning madly. She leapt at him and, before he could react, nearly tackled him to the ground, her arms tight around his middle. "If you are not Mister Douglas Hadje, master of spaceflight and doctor of something incredibly boring, I will be quite embarrassed. Please tell me you are."
 
-"I am, I am," he said, laughing and returning the hug. She was short enough that the top of her head barely came up to his chin. Her fur was incredibly soft against his chin and neck, and he had to restrain himself from outright petting her. "It's nice to meet you at last."
+"I am, I am," he said, laughing and returning the hug. She was short enough that the top of her head barely came up to his chin. Her fur was incredibly soft against his neck, and he had to restrain himself from outright petting her. "It's nice to meet you at last."
 
 "Douglas, holy shit. Holy shit! This is absolutely delightful," she said, voice muffled against his shoulder and obscured by tears. Without letting go of the hug, she forked off a copy of herself to hurl at Ioan, who was laughing openly now. This time, she did manage to throw her target to the grass, and the two wrestled around for a moment, shoving at each other, before that instance of May Then My Name quit, leaving Ioan to pick emself up again, dusting grass off eir clothes.
 
@@ -182,13 +186,13 @@ She winked. "A story such as ours deserves a grand conclusion, does it not?"
 
 He laughed. It sounded manic even to his own ears. Crazed. "Tell me everything! I need to know about you, about her, about--"
 
-"Patience, patience!" May Then My Name ducked one of his waving hands, laughing as well. "We have all the time in the world, my dear, and today is a day for many celebrations. You will learn all about us, cousin. You will learn about me and her, about individuation and intracladal dynamics."
+"Patience, patience!" May Then My Name ducked one of his waving hands, laughing as well. "We have all the time in the world, my dear, and today is a day for many celebrations. You will learn all about us, cousin. You will learn about me and her, about individuation and intracladal dynamics. I am as much a relative of hers as you are."
 
 He nodded. All that she was saying was swirling around in his mind, wrapped up in the strange, fluent-yet-stilted language that he'd gotten used to over text but now had to get used to in person. He couldn't tell if he was ecstatic at the news, mad at her, or simply overwhelmed, but so earnest was May then My Name's expression that any heat of anger quickly cooled.
 
 "Everything feels like it needs to be done in such a rush, though," he admitted. "Like if I don't do it right now I'm going to explode. You really look like her? Exactly? And...but you're a skunk."
 
-May Then My Name---the one that looked like Michelle---smirked and disappeared, having apparently quit, leaving the still giggling skunk to help Douglas up.
+May Then My Name---the one that looked like Michelle---kissed him on the cheek, smirked, and disappeared, having apparently quit, leaving the still giggling skunk to help Douglas up.
 
 "Later, I promise." She pulled him over to the picnic blanket with her so that she could sit next to him. She tasked Ioan with setting up the food while they talked. "Douglas, my dear, what are you most excited about, now that you have uploaded?" she asked earnestly, paw resting on his knee.