My edits

content/read/045.md

@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@ With that in mind, she focused on composing herself into a state of friendly ale
 
 She watched him step inside, look around, and immediately laugh. After picking up a cider at the bar, he made his way over to the booth she had picked and plopped down across from her.
 
-"Cheeky choice," he said, grinning.
+"Hell of a choice," he said, grinning.
 
 True Name grinned, shrugged. "What can I say? I was feeling nostalgic for terrible beer."
 
@@ -28,7 +28,7 @@ Small talk was not a guarantee that this was simply a social visit, but given th
 
 "Feeling the workload, then?"
 
-He shrugged. "Not particularly, no. It's just that I'm starting to wonder just how cut out for politics I really am. I haven't the faintest idea on how to get people to do things without sounding like I'm bullying them, and I'm not going to put all the work into it that you have. You and yours, I mean."
+He shrugged. "Not particularly, no. It's just that I'm starting to wonder just how cut out for politics I really am. I don't have a clue how to get people to do things without sounding like I'm bullying them, and I'm not gonna put all the work into it that you have. You and yours, I mean."
 
 "Yeah, it is no small amount of effort," the skunk said. "But it will be worth it in the end, I think. Plus, I figure that once we secede and the launch goes off successfully, we can probably just sit back and let things run themselves. No one has managed to cause any problems that cannot be solved by them simply having the fistfight that they so desperately crave."
 
@@ -116,13 +116,13 @@ True Name frowned. "Really?"
 
 True Name stopped in the aisle, letting Life Breeds Life step ahead and turn to face her. "You would like the System to forget that there was a council?"
 
-"It is a way to build a mythos and identity, yes. It allows us to use the words 'freedom' and 'secession' and so on in a collective sense, as though these were the decisions of all, rather than a few. It will instill a sense of patriotism, if one could call it such a thing, for being sys-side, which will in turn reduce the connections that many feel to phys-side." He smiled, tugging a book from the shelf at random and flipping through the pages. "This will not happen for this generation. Nor, likely, the next. The goal for future generations, though is to ensure that they feel that the System is a place to live rather than a place where they wound up, or a place that they uploaded to simply because it was convenient or necessary, or even a place that they uploaded to simply for the way life works here, whether it be immortality or the sheer hedonistic joy of it."
+"It is a way to build a mythos and identity, yes. It allows us to use the words 'freedom' and 'secession' and so on in a collective sense, as though these were the decisions of all, rather than a few. It will instill a sense of patriotism, if one could call it such a thing, for being sys-side, which will in turn reduce the connections that many feel to phys-side." He smiled, tugging a book from the shelf at random and flipping through the pages. "This will not happen for this generation. Nor, likely, the next. The goal for future generations, though, is to ensure that they feel that the System is a place to live rather than a place where they wound up, or a place that they uploaded to simply because it was convenient or necessary, or even a place that they uploaded to simply for the way life works here, whether it be immortality or the sheer hedonistic joy of it."
 
 The skunk watched the pages flip beneath Life Breeds Life's fingers and thought. To downplay the council would be to minimize the work of years, of almost a decade. It might rankle for the other members, but she was pleasantly surprised at how comfortable an idea it was. It would gain her and Jonas much needed room to maneuver.
 
-Eventually she nodded, saying, "That makes sense, yes. If the concept of the Council disappears into foggy memories and untrustworthy histories, then any attempts to lead again will seem out of place, too. It will give Jonas and I more latitude to continue working long term."
+Eventually she nodded, saying, "That makes sense, yes. If the concept of the Council disappears into foggy memories and untrustworthy histories, then any attempts to lead again will seem out of place, too. It will give all of us more latitude to continue working long term."
 
-"Precisely." He replaced the book on the shelf. "Down the line, too, I am considering suggesting that we say that we uploaded after Secession. Say in the thirties. Not far enough to be an obvious lie, but enough distance from it to give us the space to act as we must now so that we can act as we will later."
+"Precisely." He replaced the book on the shelf. "Down the line, too, I am considering suggesting that we say that we uploaded after Secession. Say, in the thirties. Not far enough to be an obvious lie, but enough distance from it to give us the space to act as we must now so that we can act as we will later."
 
 True Name felt the smile grow on her face, earnest and excited. "Excellent. Excellent thinking. Keep me up to date as you go, though I do not expect the updates to come all that quickly."