My edits

content/read/059.md

@@ -42,7 +42,7 @@ Ey nodded. "For that, sure, but also for the sake of me, or us."
 
 "Among Those Who Create Are Those Who Forge started out by watching creatives here on the System, perhaps unsurprisingly, but grew bored and wandered off to do their own thing.
 
-"Time Is A Finger Pointed At Itself helped both Praiseworthy and Qoheleth as a speech writer, though she was more into theatre than whatever work they gave her. I must take you to one of her shows.
+"Time Is A Finger Pointing At Itself helped both Praiseworthy and Qoheleth as a speech writer, though she was more into theatre than whatever work they gave her. I must take you to one of her shows.
 
 "If I Am To Bathe In Dreams acted as the grounding element for much of the clade. She became something of a therapist. I have leaned on her often.
 
@@ -56,7 +56,7 @@ Ey nodded. "For that, sure, but also for the sake of me, or us."
 
 Ey frowned. "That doesn't sound like feeling."
 
-"That is because True Name did this on a whim, in the most True Name way possible, and I do not think she expected me to be anything but as manipulative as her. She wanted another True Name for a different purpose. In order to influence someone on a truly individual level, though, you must be able to understand them, and I began to work towards that. I did not tell her at first. I changed myself physically, and then as I went out into the System to learn how to manipulate individuals, I kept on forking and changing whenever I found myself coming to a new conclusion. In short, I guess I grew a sense of empathy."
+"That is because True Name did this on a whim, in the most True Name way possible, and I do not think she expected me to be anything but as manipulative as her. She wanted another True Name for a different purpose. In order to influence someone on a truly individual level, though, you must be able to understand them, and I began to work towards that. I did not tell her at first. I changed myself physically, and then as I went out into the System to learn how to manipulate individuals, I kept on forking and changing whenever I found myself coming to a new conclusion. In short, I guess I grew a greater sense of empathy."
 
 "Why didn't you tell her?"
 
@@ -72,11 +72,11 @@ The skunk brightened and nodded. "Yes. The System is more subtle than we give it
 
 "That's pretty damn manipulative," ey said.
 
-What brightness had reached her face faded again. "It was. I was a hell of a tool before I grew my own conscience."
+What brightness had reached her face faded again. "It was. I was a hell of a tool before I grew into my own."
 
 "So, you started to feel bad?"
 
-"I started to *feel*, Ioan. Bad, yes, but I started to feel. True Name does not do much of that. I started to feel, and when I started to feel love, affection, friendship...well, those felt good, so I'd fork again to cement those more firmly in place."
+"I started to *feel*, Ioan. Bad, yes, but I started to feel. True Name does not do much of that, not in a way we understand. I started to feel, and when I started to feel love, affection, friendship...well, those felt good, so I'd fork again to cement those more firmly in place."
 
 "But you still manipulated those around you."
 
@@ -112,7 +112,7 @@ Ioan let out a breath, realizing partway through that it was coming out as a lau
 
 Her words were unsteady, clouded by tears, but she continued, "The gods built the world because they desired to shape it to their will. They wanted to bend the world into something that they could direct this way and that, because after all, could they not do that with their atoms and molecules? A world that is orderly! Imagine the wonders they could create! The wills they could work!
 
-"So the gods set the world to spinning and watched and waited as it began to blossom and bloom. When the time was ripe, they reached down their hands to touch the world, and instead found that they had become the wind and the tides and the rain and the snow and the sunlight and the moonlight. They reached down to touch the world and shape it to their will, and found that they become impersonal forces in the face of absolute independence. The world they created could not be controlled, because there is no such thing as a world that can be controlled. They reached down, became impersonal forces, and the lives within the world bundled their coats up tighter at the north wind or took their hats off when the sun shone bright, but never could they change a single mind."
+"So the gods set the world to spinning and watched and waited as it began to blossom and bloom. When the time was ripe, they reached down their hands to touch the world, and instead found that they had become the wind and the tides and the rain and the snow and the sunlight and the moonlight. They reached down to touch the world and shape it to their will, and found that they become impersonal forces in the face of absolute independence. The world they created could not be controlled, because there is no such thing as a world that can be controlled. They reached down, became impersonal forces, and the lives within the world bundled their coats up tighter at the North Wind or took their hats off when the Sun shone bright, but never could they change a single mind."
 
 A long silence followed May's myth, broken only by the soft sounds of her crying.
 
@@ -132,7 +132,7 @@ Ey sighed.
 
 The skunk laughed through the tears, a choked and stifled sound. She finally reached out and set one of her paws in Ioan's hand. "Even then, I would feel bad."
 
-"I believe that, too," ey said, brushing a thumb over her fingers. "I believe that you're genuine, is what I'm trying to say. You just happened to have the craziest fucking family I've ever met."
+"I believe that, too," ey said, brushing eir thumb over her fingers. "I believe that you're genuine, is what I'm trying to say. You just happened to have the craziest fucking family I've ever met."
 
 At this, May laughed in earnest, rolling her eyes and taking a deep breath to calm down. "Yes, you are right. I am sorry that they are upsetting people, and that I am a part of that, that I did what I do and that you were their goal. The last thing that I want to do is hurt you."