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Madison Scott-Clary
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# Yared Zerezghi --- 2124
# Ioan Bălan --- 2325
For the first time since their arrangement had begun, Yared was greeted at his own door, rather than at the coffee shop down on the corner.
Ioan and May walked hand-in-paw along the rim of a lake. It had settled neatly into a bowl formed by three peaks, and around it wound a deer-trail, which was only wide enough to permit them to walk side by side half the time. For the rest of the hike, Ioan walked in front, guiding May, pointing out roots, and eventually helping her clamber up onto a rock out-cropping at the point where the lake drained into the lands below through a chattering creek.
He had yet to start his day, instead reveling in the cool quiet of the morning, before the sun levered itself up over the roof of his building to shine through his window and before the thrum of the air conditioning took over. The cool, the quiet, his pillow, his sheets, and the blessed nullity of not yet being awake enough to think, to worry.
There they sat to eat their lunches and talk.
At least the knock on his door was polite.
"I had no idea that you enjoyed hiking."
He hurried to throw on his clothes and kick his bed into something resembling a made state, toss last night's take-out container in the trash, and rub the last of the sleep from his eyes before answering the door.
"Oh, goodness no. I hate it." Ey laughed. "But it's the only way to get to this rock."
"Mr. Zerezghi." Councilor Demma's driver nodded cordially. "The councilor would like to speak with you at your earliest convenience."
They sat in silence for a while, the sun warming their backs as it slid down toward the peaks that ey supposed must be west.
*At your earliest convenience* seemed to imply right now, so Yared nodded and kicked on his sandals to follow the suit out of the hallway and into the street. The pavement and buildings had yet to start to bake, but he could tell that it would be another day of hiding inside, or skittering from one air-conditioned place to another.
"Why did you bring me out here, Ioan?"
*If I make it through this,* he thought.
Ey lazily scanned the far shore of the lake, picking out the places where the deer trail dipped shyly down to the edge of the water before darting back up into the trees.
Demma's car was parked down the block and on the other side of the street, and Yared was pleased to see a carrier with three paper coffee cups in it sitting on the roof. If nothing else, he'd be able to wake up a little, and that would provide him some semblance of normalcy to this strange shift in protocol.
"I needed to focus on something further away than a piece of paper," ey said at last. "Further than the lilacs in the yard."
"Yared, wonderful to see you. I trust you are alright?" Demma said, once he was seated in the car, coffee in hand. It felt far too chilly.
"And the interviews you have done have not helped?"
"I'm well, councilor. I wasn't expecting to talk until later today."
Ey shrugged.
The politician waved the statement away and nodded toward the driver, who slid the car smoothly out into the street and drove towards, Yared assumed, the city center.
"Cabin fever, perhaps?"
"I must apologize for waking you early. Please, enjoy your coffee for a moment. I am happy to enjoy the scenery for a while."
"Maybe, yeah."
Something about that statement, or perhaps Demma's tone of voice, made it sound more like a command than a suggestion, so Yared did just that, sipping on his coffee as it cooled as his mind raced. *Did I do something wrong? Am I being taken to prison? No, almost certainly not, if Councilor Demma is here. Why am I being made to wait? Am I supposed to feel uncomfortable, or does he actually just want me awake?*
"Ioan, I am not the one who is supposed to be asking questions," she chided.
After Yared finished his coffee and set his cup aside, Demma smiled.
"Right, sorry. It's a little bit cabin fever, I guess. I've spent an awful lot of time cooped up in the house and just sending forks out to run the interviews. It's one thing to remember being outside, but another still to have to make that memory align with not having left the house in days."
"Mr. Zerezghi, I would like to thank you for all of your work on the project at hand. I believe that we have both seen the ways in which it is shaping the discussion on our small part of the 'net, yes? There are other forces at work, to be sure, but your voice is loud, and our little faction is adding in resources behind the scenes, as you have no doubt noticed."
The skunk nodded, picking a pebble from near her paw and tossing it into the lake. "I understand. It think that I am perhaps more comfortable inside than you are, but I am still happy that you brought me here.
Yared nodded, waiting for the hammer to fall.
"Glad you like it. It's an abandoned sim that I visited decades back and still had the coordinates to. It reminded me of how my grandfather described his time in Slovenia." Ey crumpled the wrapper to eir sandwich and returned it to the backpack that ey'd brought with em. "It's just good to get out and change contexts, I guess."
"I would, however, like to know the identity of who your contacts are, sys-side."
May nodded.
He tilted his head. "What? Why?"
"It's just..." Ey frowned, hunting for the words. "It's just that we have limitless time and limitless space and all the creativity we could hope to use, and still I sometimes feel trapped, as though I'm stuck in this tiny, constrained space where I can barely move and can't hope to stretch out. Does that make sense?"
Demma sighed and set aside his own coffee. "I have a suspicion that I know who one of them is, and I would like confirmation of that. I would appreciate if you would tell me, so that I do not need to tip my hand and send you hunting him down. You understand."
"It is not a feeling I share, but I can see how one might," May said, carefully shifting the backpack from between them to the other side of her so that she could lean against em. "It is the feeling one gets when one asks "is that all there is?" and the answer comes back "yes, of course"."
"I suppose." Yared bit his lip and considered the possible consequences of sharing the names of his contacts, deciding that if he shared just one, that perhaps that would be enough without compromising the identity of both. "You say 'he'. The man that I'm in discussions with is named Jonas. Is that the one you're thinking of?"
"Yeah," ey murmured. As May rested her head against eir shoulder, ey turned eir head to place a kiss between her ears. Ey did not remember when ey had first started doing that, but it had long since become habit. Every time ey remembered that it had been an act that was out of character for em until May moved in, some part of em raced around in circles to try and find out what had changed and why.
The councilor sighed and slouched back into the cushy microfiber seat. "Yes. I was afraid of that."
*It's just...May. That's just how she is,* ey kept reminding emself. *There is no explaining an Odist.*
"How so?"
"It's been happening more and more since the idea of the launches first started to take off. It happened before, too, but I think coming to the understanding that this *isn't* all there is, that there's also stuff outside the System and far away from the Sun...well, it just kind of rubbed my face in it. "You're stuck here, Ioan Bălan," it says. "You're not going to be on the launch, and even if you were, that wouldn't be you. There'd be no merging of experiences"."
"He is a very slippery man, Yared. While I suppose that it's nice that his goals align with ours on the issue of rights and secession --- I can read between the lines as well as he can, I know who he's tapped phys-side --- that is not always guaranteed to be the case." He finished his own coffee and accepted Yared's cup when offered to dispose of in the trash. "Slippery and manipulative. I worry that you are at risk of being played by him, of becoming his puppet."
May laughed. "I find freedom in that. Not only will I not have to do any of that work, but I will also get to be one of the shitheads that stays behind."
*Aren't I already yours?* he thought. Instead, he said, "He seems friendly enough, but I guess I can see how that might be used to guide me. He hasn't asked for any favors or anything, at least."
"And that's a bonus?"
"And have you told him about our little agreement?" When Yared quailed under Demma's gaze, the councilor shook his head. "I cannot say I'm pleased, Mr. Zerezghi, but I'm also not particularly surprised."
"Of course it is, my dear. When was the last time you had the luxury of staying behind? Of that being a one-way decision?"
Yared wiped his palms against his thighs, shaking his head. "He guessed, councilor. He asked, and even knew it was you. I'm sorry, sir, I don't think there's anything I could have done to stop him from doing that."
Ey frowned.
"Oh, did he now?" Demma's laugh was earnest. "I'm not particularly surprised at that, either, and I suppose it does let you off the hook somewhat, doesn't it?"
"Do not think too hard, Ioan. I can tell you now that it was before you uploaded." She sounded as though speaking from a dream. "That was the last time that you could have made the choice to stay behind. It is some of Dear's beloved irreversibility. You cannot un-upload. You cannot upload part of the way. There is no going and there is no back, remember? Now, though, you are here. If you are busy working and a friend is throwing a party, why, just fork! You do not need to worry about whether or not you need stay behind or join them. You can do both."
All he could think to do was nod.
"But with the launch, you had the decision to stay behind."
"Well, if Jonas Anderson has figured out what we're up to, that does change things somewhat. I know that our latest suggestion was that you mention independence for the first time. I'd like to modify that somewhat, if you haven't already written your post."
"Yes, it was a new experience. New in these last two centuries."
"Not yet. I was going to do it this morning before our usual meeting."
"You're so weird," ey said, then laughed as she elbowed em in the side.
"Yes, well, do hold off for a little longer. I would like you to change it so that you quote Jonas in mentioning independence. Do keep his name out of your posts, of course. It's probably best that he remain your 'friend' and not 'one of the slickest politicians in the Western Federation' when people read what you have to say." Demma smiled kindly, adding, "And if I may ask you a favor, please don't consult him about this post before you send it. You're welcome to keep talking with him and whoever his companion is, we won't restrict your access to that. Perhaps they're even another copy of him. I just want to hear what his reaction is when you put the word 'independence' in his mouth."
"We are both weird." She poked at eir thigh with a claw. "That includes you, my dear. We both stayed behind, and we both sent along cocladists so far diverged from us that they might as well have become new individuals."
"Of course, sir."
"Mm, true. I'm happy for them, at least."
Nodding, the councilor said, "Thank you, Yared. I'm glad to see that we are more on the same page, now. Stay wary of Jonas Anderson, maintain your friendship, and keep me up to date about the things that he says that don't make it into your posts. As long as our goals align, we should be able to work together through you."
"As am I. Their communications are not quite as happy as I suspect they wish, but I am still happy for them."
"You won't talk to him?" Yared asked.
Ioan knit eir brow. "There is that, yeah. Do you remember Ezekiel?"
"That's far to risky for my current position. It's plausibly deniable that you were already talking to him before we reached our agreement, should that agreement be made public. It's true enough, isn't it? If I were to talk to him, though..." He trailed off with a shrug and a half-smile.
"Of course," May said, sitting up and swinging her legs up onto the rock so that she could sit cross-legged, facing em. "He was brilliant. Intensely, incredibly brilliant. I am sure that he still is, but that brilliance is now coiled all around itself in the way that happens with prophets throughout the ages."
"I understand."
Ey turned to face May in turn. "Who do you think that weighed more on, though? Dear or Codrin?"
"I'm glad that you do." Demma flicked his eyes up to the driver's rear-view mirror, and the car slid to a halt in a parking spot. "Mr. Zerezghi, a pleasure as always. We will be keeping an eye out for your post later today."
The skunk dipped her muzzle. "That is difficult to say. They are each sensitive in their own ways. Dear, I imagine, is feeling a lot of old fears confirmed, and old memories come to roost. I worry that, some day, that fox will spin itself into a whirlwind and dissipate into the atmosphere."
Yared sat up, looking out through the window at the outskirts of the financial district. It would easily be an hour's walk back to his apartment, and about as long of a bus-ride. He didn't even have his phone.
"I'm sure it'd enjoy that."
The councilor was already holding his hand out to shake, so there seemed to be no argument that this is where he should leave. He shook the hand, climbed out of the car, and watched it slide off into traffic once more.
"It would make it a whole production. Invite everyone on the LV."
Trudging to the nearest bus stop, he thought, *I suppose as long as this is the only punishment that I get, I shouldn't be too concerned.*
Ioan laughed.
At least the bus was air conditioned, and it gave him time to draft his post in his head.
"And Codrin?" she said.
> I cannot express just how pleased I am to say that I have no arguments to dispute, this time!
>
> It's tempting to slack off in one's campaigning when things start to swing one's way, but even I know that complacency will provide a wedge for dissenters to gain a foothold, so, despite the heat, I'm back with another of my posts. You'll all have to live with me so long as this issue is on the table, and doubtless, you'll have to keep living with me once I pick up my next little fixation. Both friends and foes will understand, even if their opinions of that fact differ.
>
> Today, then, instead of refuting arguments, I'd just like to express some of my gratitude and provide an overview of what is going on and why it is that I'm so pleased.
>
> First, I'm happy to see that the argument about speciation has all but stopped as an argument about independence. Oh, sure, it continues elsewhere on the 'net, but it's been all but dropped from the comments about this referendum. It remains fascinating to many of us, of course. The more I talk with my friends sys-side, the more I find myself split on the idea, and even they seem to have their own opinions on it. One of them said, "Who even cares? We're still ourselves," to which the other responded, "Right, but just think about how much of a wrench that it will throw into evolution."
>
> Second, I'm happy to see the amendment to move the System to the L<sub>5</sub> station has been tacked onto the bill. It's mostly a formality, at this point. Those who work with the System phys-side have already signed a deal with the launch coordinators, and the amendment is simply to recognize that this is the case from a governmental point of view. It may make talking to my friends somewhat more difficult, due to the transmission delay, but I'm sure we'll survive. When I joked to them that, in space, no one can hear their ceaseless banter, they agreed that it was probably for the best, and said that they were looking forward to moving to cooler climes.
>
> Last, of course, I'm pleased to see the interest that the world's governments are taking in the issue. Sure, that means that our role here on the DDR is diminished, but *it is not gone.* We have as much a say in the legislation as any one of them does. This is where my caution about not slacking off will pay off. We have the S-R Bloc on our side, and the various African coalitions are drifting that way as well. The Western Fed seems to be cautiously on board. But we are still waiting on hearing from the middle eastern countries, Japan, and SEAPAC, which means that we will need to stay vigilant. While I suspect that Japan will side with individual rights, and the middle east will remain largely apathetic, I have no idea which way SEAPAC will swing, so our vote must still be counted among them as a voice in favor of the referendum.
>
> Now, instead of arguing any further points, I'd like to provide you with something lighter. I know that many enjoy the little snippets of conversation that I have with my friends sys-side, so I'm going to share a bit more of that with you. It's fun, yes, but I hope that it will continue to build empathy with them and their existence, even if I am not any good at writing anything beyond polemics on the 'net. As always, I will be protecting their identities, so I will go with John and Tara for their names.
>
> When John joked about moving to the coldness of space, I, naturally, complained about the heat.
>
> "How hot is it there?" he asked.
>
> I said, "Right now? About 43C."
>
> Tara said, "Yeowch. That is far too warm." (This is not actually what she said. She has quite a mouth on her, but I will soften that for the sake of propriety.)
>
> John said, "You're covered almost entirely in black fur. You'd be warm in Antarctica."
>
> She responded, "Well, yes, I am *here*. If I were actually in Antarctica, however, I would not be covered by fur that is a part of my body. A fur coat might be nice, however."
>
> I asked, "How does that work, anyway? Do you feel like a human except in a different shape?"
>
> Her response was a while in coming. "Yes and no. I look different, to be sure. Anyone who has seen a furry can probably imagine what that means. My av on the 'net allowed me some sensation of that, in that I was provided with a vague sense of touch on my tail, and the sensation of my ears had been moved higher up on my head to approximate the location where the ears of [my species] are located. Having a muzzle worked well enough. Here, though, the proprioception is complete in a way that an avatar could not hope to be. It made the avatar feel more like a set of clothes and a mask than it did an actual form. Here, it is my form. It made my avatar feel almost cartoonish, with the standard fur patterns a bit too exact and the claws on my fingers nearly identical. Here it can be --- must be --- as detailed as I would like. My claws wear at different rates, fur colors mingle organically. That is a sign of aposematism, did you know that? It is a warning to those who would attack to stay away. I could even smell like my species, should I choose, though I have not."
>
> John said, "Confirmed. She smells like flowers."
>
> I asked, "Why did you choose that form?"
>
> She said, "Because I wanted to and I could. It is what I am used to from my time before uploading. I think that I originally chose it for that concept of aposematism. I had probably gone through a bad breakup and was looking for something that said, "Stay away, I am independent." I had terrible luck with relationships."
>
> John said, "She's more independent than is good for her, sometimes."
>
> As this was the point in the conversation that I figured I might include it in a post, I guided it toward the topic at hand, saying, "Is that why you're so interested in individual rights?"
>
> Tara said, "Yes, in a way. You have to understand, though, that many of the arguments against them that you have shared sound mind-boggling at best, impossible at worst."
>
> John said, "We're more independent than I think a lot of people phys-side give us credit for. You keep talking of us as though we're almost a separate country, and honestly, you're not wrong. We've been questioning what the reasoning is for retaining dual citizenship other than for governments that essentially have no power over us to claim the rights to whatever it is we send out. We're ungovernable by conventional standards, and I wouldn't be surprised if someone does file a referendum for us to drop the pretense and become our own country in the next few months."
>
> I asked, "If you did, would you participate alongside the other world governments?"
>
> John said, "Maybe on some things, but we wouldn't be able to relate to much in the way of legislation."
>
> Tara said, "If we do, John will have to be the representative. He is the politician."
>
> John replied, "You keep saying you're not a politician like that does anything to convince people that you are anything but, my dear."
>
> I let them banter for a bit. The only other salient point was brought up by John, who said, "If a vote for independence does show up, make sure you vote for it. It'll make all of our lives so, so much easier."
>
> So, that was our conversation. I hope that this helps you understand a bit more what the lives of those who live sys-side are like. They joke around. They have strong opinions. They can look like anthropomorphic animals if they want. Who cares if they're human? Who cares if their bodies have died? They're just as real as any of us, and they deserve all of the same rights.
>
> Vote for the granting of rights. Vote yes on *referendum 10b30188*.
>
> Yared Zerezghi (NEAC)
"I expect ey's struggling, in eir own way. Were I confronted with something like that, I'd be able to keep it together throughout the interview, but afterwards, I'd have to spend a lot of time just decompressing."
He read over his post a few times to make sure it looked alright, then hit post and immediately backed out from his rig. He knew that he'd come back to messages from Jonas and True Name. He couldn't guess at what their tone would be, but he knew that he wasn't ready to deal with them.
"Why is that?"
He just knew that he needed something spicy to eat and at least two glasses of wine.
"You spend all your time up here--" Ey tapped at eir temple. "--and being confronted by the ways in which that can go wrong to someone who was, as you say, brilliant, can really mess with you. I bet ey holed himself up in that office for a while and paced a ring into the floor."
If ey had been expecting a laugh or a smile from the skunk, ey was disappointed. She simply nodded and looked off into the water again. "There is nothing wrong with that, Ioan. We have known that disconnect. We have known the feeling of a mind coiled in on itself. That is frightening to all of us. It *should* be frightening."
Suspecting that May would appreciate it and not knowing what to say to that, ey simply reached out and took one of her paws in eir hands.
Ey didn't know how long they sat there like that. Ey didn't remember what ey was thinking, or where ey looked. All ey remembered was the satiny feeling of May's pawpads against eir skin, and the sound of a quiet lake.
May broke the silence first. "Ioan, my tail is falling asleep. Can we go back?"
Ey nodded, levering emself up onto eir knees, then onto eir feet so that ey could help the skunk stand.
She laughed and winced once she stood, rubbing at the base of her tail. "All pins and needles."
"I can't even begin to imagine how that must feel in a tail."
"And I cannot imagine how to describe it. Help me down, and we can walk back."
"Walk? You don't want to just leave?"
"If you are going to drag me out on a hike, then so help me God, take me on the hike, Ioan."
They walked back along the deer trail, back the way they came. The water was now to their left, and where their eyes had been drawn to it before, they were now drawn to the pine forest that rimmed the lake. Trees reached straight for the sky from their brown bed of needles.
And as they walked, faster than before, May talked. "I worry about them. Both launches, both families. I worry about me and you. The interview with Ezekiel, yes, but both of them, both Castor and Pollux, are starting to circle around the center of it all."
"The center?"
"All three of us --- Dear#Castor, Dear#Pollux, and I --- have warned all three of you Bălans that there is a lot behind this." She was panting now as she walked, faster and faster. She had taken the lead, and was drawing em along behind her as she spoke. "We couch it in humor and jokey language as though they are riddles for you to solve, but Ioan, I worry that all it will do in the end is sow distrust between our two clades."
Ioan worked to keep up with May as she nearly jogged around the last bend in the path. "We can stop, May. If you don't think it'll lead to anything good, then we can just stop. We can look elsewhere. We can go back to interviewing musicians and astronomers and shitty authors. There are still stories to tell, and I'm sure that they will lead to just as many myths."
She shook her head. Or at least Ioan thought she did. It was hard to tell, with the two of them jouncing along down the path.
"May, please, at least slow down! You're going to pull me over."
Rather than slowing down, the skunk skidded to a stop, leading Ioan to nearly collide with her. As it was, ey had to stumble to the side to keep from bowling her over.
"May?"
"I am sorry."
Ey frowned at the stricken expression on her face, the tear-tracks in cheekfur. "Do you want us to stop? Stop talking to Odists? If you want to help guide us to better places to look, we can take a break from it."
She was already shaking her head. "You are not going to be able to avoid it, Ioan. I am worried, and I will not stop being worried, but you will not be able to avoid the inevitable end of this line of thought. You did not know it, but you were not even able to avoid the beginning of it."
"There's no way to stay behind, you mean."
She laughed, and the laugh was shaky with tears. "You are a brat. But yes. There is no way to stay behind."
"You're just worried?"
"I am just worried. You are at serious risk of learning the truth, and that has me worried."
"Alright." Ey drew May in for a hug. "I don't understand you Odists. I never have. You seem to have all these dramatic events spiraling around you."
She laughed as she rested her head against eir shoulder. "We do, yes, and you love it."
"It keeps life interesting, no denying. I just worry about you in turn."
"That feels good to hear, dear."
"Good," ey said.
"Now, take me home and talk about something --- anything --- else for the rest of the night."