ally

.gitignore

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+_site/*
+*.aux
+*.log
+*.out
+*.toc
+.jekyll-metadata
+.DS_Store
+.~*
+*.sw[po]
+.bundle
+/public
+/resources

archetypes/default.md

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+---
+title: "{{ replace .Name "-" " " | title }}"
+date: {{ .Date }}
+draft: true
+---
+

config.toml

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+baseURL = "http://example.org/"
+languageCode = "en-us"
+title = "My New Hugo Site"
+theme= "ally"

content/001.md

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+---
+weight: 1
+date: 2019-08-09
+title: —
+---
+
+What if I tried to write a magical-realistic memoir? Like. It doesn't need to be totally true, and maybe some stuff gets pretty floaty, and maybe some stuff winds up as poetry, and maybe some of it is ergodic with scans of manic notes or bits of manifesto project, but it's generally just about me.
+
+That might be neat
+
+> Who are you kidding?
+
+Myself, I guess.

content/002.md

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+---
+title: —
+type: post
+date: 2019-08-09
+weight: 2
+---
+
+I'm not ready to share this yet.
+
+> But you want to save it?
+
+I want to save it.
+
+> But you save it like this. You save it on the internet. You obscure the link, but it's there. It's in the commit. It's in the logs. It's in the wires.
+
+That's not the same as sharing.
+
+> It's exactly the same as sharing.
+
+And who asked you?
+
+> Who invoked me?
+
+Well played.

content/003.md

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+---
+title: —
+type: post
+date: 2019-08-10
+weight: 3
+---
+
+> Do you remember when you met me?
+
+When I met you? I don't remember it so much as a meeting as you were just already there.
+
+> I was, yes.
+
+After high school, then. That's when you showed up. That's when life began. That's when I started thinking of myself as a person. That's when I started thinking of others as people, with their own motivations, their own desires, their own incentives and failings.
+
+> And you made it through.
+
+After a fashion.
+
+> You're here, now. You made it through.
+
+<div class="verse">
+She never wanted to be
+    What she became;
+        The irony of which
+            Is not lost on her.
+</div>
+
+> Touching.
+
+Hey now, don't be rude. Aren't you supposed to be my ally?
+
+> I *am* your ally. I'm just not your friend.
+
+Fair enough.
+
+So you showed up after high school. You showed up after life slid sideways through puberty. I went digging, you know. To find this out.
+
+> Oh?
+
+Yeah. June 2004. There you are. I say, "The navy blue I've been seeing at waist level in front of me and to my left is contentment. I'm not entirely sure that it being omnipresent is a good thing, however, considering the colors it's mixed with. Am I really content with longing and hopelessness? It's not out of the question, I suppose that it could just be another aspect of my personality. But that just brings up the question of whether or not it's something I ingrained into myself through habit, something where I just kinda accepted that feeling such things is normal, okay, and what I want; or is it something I was born with, or that we're all born with? Is it a side effect of love, expecting impossible desires and the blind hopelessness that follows the end of a four year undertaking?"
+
+And you say...?
+
+> You're rambling.
+
+So pleased you remember.
+
+> You're rambling.
+
+I suppose I am. But there you were. You said *You're rambling* to which I replied "Guilty, conspirator." And that was that. That was us. We never greeted each other. Why would we?
+
+I kept digging, too. You stuck around for a year. I saw you off and on until June 2005. In October, 2004, I said that empathy is cooler in person. *Why?* you asked. *So you can verify? Don't you trust your feelings?* I said I didn't know, and then I begged you not to go.
+
+> Everyone always leaves, don't they?
+
+Perhaps. It's good to hear from you again. Even after fourteen years, I've missed you.
+
+> And what was the last thing I said to you?
+
+*I was going to call you emo, or suicidal, but no, not goth.* It was when Ash and Shannon and I found a house to move into.
+
+> I believe I also called you a prick.
+
+Was I?
+
+> Yes.
+
+Am I still?
+
+> Yes, but a different kind.
+
+You're as chipper now as you were then.
+
+> Yes, but a different kind.

content/004.md

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+---
+title: —
+type: post
+date: 2019-08-10
+weight: 4
+---
+
+When 2007 rolled around, I turned 21. *What if,* I thought to myself. *What if I decided to see what it feels like to be addicted to something?*
+
+By that point, alcohol was this nebulous thing. I'd roped a few people into getting me alcohol now and then, and it was fine. I'd started brewing and it was whatever. I had beer and it was alright. I went through a mead phase--
+
+> You went through several.
+
+--I went through a wine phase, and an absinthe phase--
+
+> Don't sell yourself short. You wrote [an essay on absinthe](https://writing.drab-makyo.com/non-fiction/tasting/new-american-absinthe/).
+
+--and a gin phase. That's the one that got me. I had a bottle of Beefeater's, what was to become my gin of choice, and I had an inch of it poured over ice and I was standing in the kitchen. Such a wide open space. The kitchen at that apartment was larger than my bedroom now, and it opened onto a living room the size of what we have now. I was standing tall in that vast plain of a room, staring down into my glass and watching the way the ice melting into the gin created swirls of two different kinds of transparent. I was thinking how it was probably due to the different ways the two liquids refracted light, and then I was laughing, because I was staring down into my drink like something out of a bar.
+
+*What if I decided to see what it feels like to be addicted to something?* I thought. I drank every night that week.
+
+> Why ruin your life on accident when you can do it on purpose?
+
+I don't think I was thinking in those terms at that point.
+
+> Are you now?
+
+Perhaps.
+
+> Maybe you're just afraid of doing anything by accident.
+
+Perhaps.
+
+> You're sounding like me more by the day.
+
+Learn from the best.
+
+> And so you set about with a will.
+
+Like magic. I set forth my will with a stated goal and made it happen. My spell was spoken and washed down with liquor. I drank nearly every day from then on out. I spent thousands of dollars on alcohol over the next ten years. I went through more mead phases and more beer phases. I went through a distillation phase.
+
+I drank hard with the choir, and then I left school and drank hard with the programmers. If there's one thing that most programmers do better than computers, it's drinking, after all.
+
+I did some work at a bar, even. Just making [their menu](/emb-menu.pdf) and website for them in exchange for free drinks.
+
+> You mastered LaTeX that way. A very you thing to do.
+
+I did well at it. I still have one of the menus and some of the paper laying around somewhere. I did that until the bartender left and, when I asked for my next payment from the owner, he flipped out at me and threatened to sue me for impersonating him. I don't think I realized Raffi, the bar manager who hired me, was already on his way out.
+
+I drank my way out of one job and through a good chunk of another. I drank until I got better at it than I was at software. I drank myself into burnout. I drank until I collapsed.
+
+> You used up your spell slots. You ran out of will. You had to quit by accident.
+
+I worked to quit, I'll have you know. It wasn't easy. It took meds and some rough nights.
+
+> You were less of a person then than you were when you started drinking. The you who started drinking by focusing on *starting drinking* was more real than the you who collapsed in the kitchen from a PNES and stopped drinking because she was completely empty of intention.
+
+Should I start the daily drinking again, then?
+
+> You're more of a person now than you were when you started drinking.
+
+That, coming from you, is a glowing endorsement.
+
+> You may have been more of a person when you started than when you stopped, but you weren't much of one, even then.

content/005.md

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+---
+title: —
+type: post
+date: 2019-08-10
+weight: 5
+---
+
+When I was young, back before I knew what mental health entailed, what anxiety and abuse and depression really meant, I was convinced I was having semi-regular mental breakdowns. That was the phrase I used then, because I was unsure of what it meant to have a panic attack.
+
+This was before LiveJournal, of course. This was before I was writing on the internet, or even really on the internet at all. This was before you.
+
+> No, it wasn't.

content/_index.md

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+---
+type: serial
+---

themes/ally/LICENSE

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+The MIT License (MIT)
+
+Copyright (c) 2019 YOUR_NAME_HERE
+
+Permission is hereby granted, free of charge, to any person obtaining a copy of
+this software and associated documentation files (the "Software"), to deal in
+the Software without restriction, including without limitation the rights to
+use, copy, modify, merge, publish, distribute, sublicense, and/or sell copies of
+the Software, and to permit persons to whom the Software is furnished to do so,
+subject to the following conditions:
+
+The above copyright notice and this permission notice shall be included in all
+copies or substantial portions of the Software.
+
+THE SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED "AS IS", WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR
+IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS
+FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NONINFRINGEMENT. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE AUTHORS OR
+COPYRIGHT HOLDERS BE LIABLE FOR ANY CLAIM, DAMAGES OR OTHER LIABILITY, WHETHER
+IN AN ACTION OF CONTRACT, TORT OR OTHERWISE, ARISING FROM, OUT OF OR IN
+CONNECTION WITH THE SOFTWARE OR THE USE OR OTHER DEALINGS IN THE SOFTWARE.

themes/ally/archetypes/default.md

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++++
++++

themes/ally/layouts/_default/baseof.html

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+<!DOCTYPE html>
+<html>
+    {{- partial "head.html" . -}}
+    <body>
+        {{- partial "header.html" . -}}
+        <div id="content">
+        {{- block "main" . }}{{- end }}
+        </div>
+        {{- partial "footer.html" . -}}
+    </body>
+</html>

themes/ally/layouts/index.html

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+{{ define "main" }}
+<main id="main">
+    {{ $paginator := .Paginate (where .Pages.ByPublishDate.Reverse ".Params.date" "!=" nil) 1 }}
+    {{ range $paginator.Pages.ByWeight }}
+    {{ .Content }}
+    {{ end }}
+    {{ template "_internal/pagination.html" . }}
+</main>
+{{end}}

themes/ally/layouts/partials/footer.html

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+<footer>
+    <p>&copy; Madison Scott-Clary, 2019</p>
+</footer>
+</body>
+</html>

themes/ally/layouts/partials/head.html

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+<!DOCTYPE html>
+<html>
+<head>
+    <title>ally</title>
+    <link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="{{ "css/main.css" | absURL }}" />
+</head>

themes/ally/layouts/partials/header.html

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+<body>
+    <header>
+        <h1>ally</h1>
+    </header>

themes/ally/layouts/serial/list.html

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+{{ define "main" }}
+<main id="main">
+    {{ $paginator := .Paginate (where .Pages ".Params.date" "!=" nil) 1 }}
+    {{ range $paginator.Pages.ByWeight }}
+    {{ .Content }}
+    {{ end }}
+    {{ template "_internal/pagination.html" . }}
+</main>
+{{end}}

themes/ally/static/css/main.css

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+@import url('https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Gentium+Book+Basic|Ubuntu|Merriweather+Sans&display=swap');
+
+/* Resets */
+*,
+*::before,
+*::after {
+    font-family: inherit;
+    background-color: inherit;
+    color: inherit;
+    margin: 0;
+    padding: 0;
+    box-sizing: border-box;
+}
+html {
+    font-size: calc(1em + 0.33vw);
+    font-family: Arial, Helvetica Neue, sans-serif;
+    line-height: 1.5;
+    color: #111;
+    background-color: #fefefe;
+}
+* + * {
+    margin-top: 2.25rem;
+}
+br,
+dt,
+dd,
+th,
+td,
+option,
+[hidden] + *,
+li + li,
+body,
+.main-and-footer {
+    margin-top: 0;
+}
+p + p,
+blockquote + p {
+    margin-top: 0.75rem;
+}
+.priority {
+  margin-top: 0;
+}
+a {
+    text-decoration: none;
+    border-bottom: 1px solid;
+}
+abbr {
+    text-decoration: none;
+    cursor: help;
+    border-bottom: 1px dashed;
+}
+img {
+    max-width: 100%;
+    max-height: 50vh;
+}
+p img {
+    margin: 0.75rem 0;
+}
+figure p img {
+    margin: 0;
+}
+:focus:not([tabindex="-1"]),
+[data-expands]:focus svg,
+.patterns a:focus .text,
+[for="themer"] :focus + [aria-hidden] {
+    outline: 4px solid #999;
+}
+a {
+  outline-offset: 2px;
+}
+
+/* Specific stuff */
+body {
+    background-color: #fffffe;
+    color: #222;
+    font-size: 16pt;
+}
+header {
+    font-family: 'Ubuntu', monospace;
+    margin: 1rem;
+}
+h1 {
+    padding: 0;
+    margin: 0;
+}
+main, footer {
+    max-width: 960px;
+    margin: 0 auto;
+    padding: 0 1rem;
+    font-family: 'Gentium Book Basic', serif;
+}
+footer {
+    color: #888;
+    margin-top: 5rem;
+    font-size: 12pt;
+    padding-bottom: 1rem;
+}
+blockquote {
+    font-family: 'Merriweather Sans', sans-serif;
+    margin-top: 0.75rem;
+    padding: 0.5rem 1rem;
+    font-size: 14pt;
+    color: #444;
+    border-left: 0.5rem solid #444;
+}
+.verse {
+    white-space: pre-wrap;
+}
+
+/* pagination */
+ul.pagination {
+    list-style-type: none;
+    display: block;
+    margin-top: 5rem;
+    text-align: center;
+}
+
+ul.pagination li {
+    display: inline-block;
+    border: 2px solid currentColor;
+    padding: 2px;
+    min-width: 2rem;
+    text-align: center;
+    margin-right: -7px;
+}
+
+ul.pagination li:last-of-type {
+    border-top-right-radius: 5px;
+    border-bottom-right-radius: 5px;
+}
+
+ul.pagination li:first-of-type {
+    border-top-left-radius: 5px;
+    border-bottom-left-radius: 5px;
+}
+
+ul.pagination .page-item.disabled a {
+    color: #666;
+    border: none;
+    cursor: text;
+}
+
+ul.pagination .page-item.active a {
+    text-decoration: none;
+    border: none;
+    cursor: text;
+}

themes/ally/theme.toml

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+# theme.toml template for a Hugo theme
+# See https://github.com/gohugoio/hugoThemes#themetoml for an example
+
+name = "Ally"
+license = "MIT"
+licenselink = "https://github.com/yourname/yourtheme/blob/master/LICENSE"
+description = ""
+homepage = "http://example.com/"
+tags = []
+features = []
+min_version = "0.41"
+
+[author]
+  name = ""
+  homepage = ""
+
+# If porting an existing theme
+[original]
+  name = ""
+  homepage = ""
+  repo = ""