Updates with 2023/2024 edits

mitzvot/content/003.tex

@@ -1,183 +1,269 @@
-\begin{center}\rule{0.5\linewidth}{0.5pt}\end{center}
+\hypertarget{ioan-bux103lan-2349}{%
+\chapter{Ioan Bălan — 2349}\label{ioan-bux103lan-2349}}
+\markboth{Ioan Bălan — 2349}{}
 
-Ioan pulled together a stack of eir notes and, with a little concentration and a gesture, moved them over to a once-blank notebook, the pages now filled with eir scratchy shorthand. To this was added one of eir nicer pens, clipped to the cover, and a few slips of foolscap besides.
+\emph{How has this become my life?} Ioan thought—as ey always did—when stepping away from home to the now familiar café.
 
-Tucking those under eir arm, ey walked over to May's desk and bent down to give the skunk a kiss atop her head, right between her ears. ``I'm heading out. No messing with my pens, okay?''
+May had—as she always did—dotted her nose against eir cheek, licked over eir nose a little too wetly, and said, ``Good luck, have fun, and do not die,'' and then ey stepped from home to arrive in front of the squat wood paneled coffee shop. The same sign proclaiming ``Open 24 hours'' fading in the sun. The same chipper baristas. The same sparklingly clean espresso machine. The same couch in the corner.
 
-Rather than the usual `do not die' joke, she turned on her stool, looped her arms up around eir shoulders, and pressed her nose to eirs. ``You will be okay, yes?''
+The same thing, month after month: step into the coffee shop to order the same coffee—delicious as always—and wait for the same True Name to arrive.
 
-Ey hesitated. Something about her tone pointed more towards anxiety than simple seriousness. Ey leaned forward to set eir notebook down, tugged up on eir slacks, and settled to eir knees in front of her. ``Of course, May. Will you?''
+Their standard greeting would be for Ioan to stand and bow—ey was always there too early—set up a cone of silence and share a bit of chit-chat, however many little nothings felt appropriate for the day, for the month since they'd last seen each other, before settling back down on the L-shaped couch, each to work on their own projects.
 
-``I will be fine,'' she said, smiling. ``I am just a little worried today, is all.''
+Then, as ever, one or the other of them would call an end to the meeting, if meeting it was, and they'd stand once more, bow, and each would step back home.
 
-``Any particular reason why?''
+Or, at least, ey would always step back home, where May would—as she always did—congratulate em on not dying. Ey didn't know where True Name left to.
 
-``I just am. I am trying to build trust, but\ldots{}'' She shrugged.
+The only thing that seemed to change was the topics they talked about—the this-or-thats of life—and True Name herself.
 
-``Want me to leave a fork behind?''
+She was always smartly dressed, she always smiled brightly to em, always ordered the same mocha with extra whipped cream, and would always seem to get dabs of it on her nose-tip; but over time, the skunk had slowly picked up some ineffable quality about her that Ioan could only ever describe as `harried'. It wasn't in her grooming, for her whiskers were always neat and orderly, the longer fur atop her head well brushed, and her claws neatly trimmed. It wasn't in the things she talked about, for she always had some interesting bit of news about any of the three—four, if one counted Artemis—Systems out there.
 
-``Will they be intolerable and antsy?''
+It was, ey decided, something to do with her eyes, her cheeks, the way her hands moved. It was in her voice, in her mien, in her bearing.
 
-Ey laughed. ``Depends on how much pestering you do.''
+Once a month, ey'd meet True Name for coffee, and each time, she seemed that much more worn down, carrying that much more tension in her features, looking just that much older.
 
-She lifted her snout enough to lick eir nose-tip, then shoved at em playfully. ``I am busy, my dear.''
+When ey first described this to May, the skunk had spent a silent minute staring out into the yard—or at least the corner visible from her beanbag—then stretched out on her belly, draping over the outsized cushion. ``Have you asked her, my dear?''
 
-``You fork more than anyone I know, you could just--''
+Ioan had shaken eir head. ``It never felt polite to.''
 
-``I am trying to tell you to get out of here, Ioan,'' she said, grinning in earnest. ``Do not mind a little bit of anxiety. I am sorry that that spilled over. I will think on it and we will talk later. Good luck, have fun, and do not die, okay?''
+``Some day you should,'' she had said. ``Though it is my suspicion that she is, as you have said, losing her easy confidence. She is struggling with the fact that she must constantly dump energy into keeping up the appearance of always being so in control.''
 
-Ey shook eir head and stood again, grabbing eir notebook. ``Skunks. I swear\ldots{}''
+Ioan had leaned back in eir chair and stared up at the ceiling. ``That certainly tallies with what she's said in the past.''
 
-Ey stepped out of the sim before she could kick eir shin.
+``She is the type of person who will always take more upon herself, more and more and more until she cracks,'' May had murmured, quiet enough that Ioan had to strain to hear. ``That she has been at this for more than two and a quarter centuries and the strain is only now showing is, if anything, a testament to her perseverance. Or obstinance, perhaps.''
 
-Ey ordered eir usual coffee and staked out eir usual spot on the couch. Rather than getting to work while ey waited for True Name, ey simply sat and enjoyed eir coffee as best ey could, staring off into nothing while mulling over May's words.
+Ever since that day, that conversation would rise to the fore of eir memory whenever ey met up with True Name for coffee. They would have their conversation, sip their drinks, and then get to whatever projects they were working on—but there would always be a small portion of eir mind dedicated to squaring what ey knew of her with just how old she was.
 
-\emph{You will be okay, yes?}
+What ey'd strategically left out of that conversation with May, however, was that eir fascination seemed to be driven by an almost pathological need to help. Somehow. Ey wanted to find what it was that was wearing so much on True Name and find a way to ease it. There was a problem there, and problems were made for solving, yes?
 
-Ey frowned and shifted eir gaze down to eir coffee, half gone by now. There were relatively few things that would bring about such anxiety in May, and ey knew the majority of them stemmed from within herself.
+It was something about em that May knew, ey was sure, but which ey'd never shared with her, as ey knew that her response would either be the gentle teasing that she was so good at heaping on em or the gentle inquisition that she was equally adept at conducting. She'd ask em where the feeling stemmed from: was it from within eir mind, or within eir heart? Was it related to \emph{all} problems? Was it because True Name looked so much like her, eir partner? When had it started? Launch? Convergence? Never mind if it were a problem that ey could not solve, as was almost certainly the case, what would ey do if it was a problem she did not \emph{want} solved?
 
-She had occasionally gotten upset at em, usually when ey'd not picked up on some cue that she'd given for some emotional need ey wasn't meeting. In each case, she would express as best she could after the initial burst of anxiety. Her down-tree instance was another source, though that hatred she'd borne for so long had softened to something more like distaste of late.
+Ey knew she'd ask em those questions because whenever ey asked them of emself, ey heard them in her voice. Even when ey'd asked Sarah, eir therapist (or, well, all three of their therapists), there was some subconscious overlay of the skunk's lilting voice floating above the question, and ey'd find emself dropping contractions and leaning on the anaphora that all Odists seemed stuck with.
 
-All of the other times, though, had come from within. Whatever dire emotions that dwelt beneath the chipper, goofy, sarcastic, and delightfully earnest layer that made up the most of her would peek through and a little spark of something more profound and inexplicable would come over her.
+``You seem particularly lost in thought today, Ioan.''
 
-Ey frowned down to eir coffee and considered whether ey should start laying in supplies in case she asked em to leave should waves of uncontrollable emotion take her, that `overflowing' that seemed to affect most—if not all—of the clade. If this was the first sign, though, ey at least had some time yet.
+Ey jolted at the sudden intrusion of a voice on eir thoughts, then smiled sheepishly at True Name. ``Sorry about that. I hope I wasn't mumbling to myself.''
 
-``Mx. Bălan?''
+She grinned. ``Not this time, no, though your lips were moving, so I suspect you were not far off.''
 
-Ey jolted and sat upright. True Name stood on the other side of the low table from em, not yet having made the move to sit. ``Sorry, True Name.''
+Shaking eir head, ey capped eir pen, tucking it into a pocket and closing eir notebook on one of the place-marker ribbons. ``I don't doubt it.''
 
-She smiled kindly and bowed. ``May I join you? You looked quite deep in thought, and I am happy to meet up at another time.''
+``What was on your mind, if I may ask?''
 
-Returning the bow apologetically, ey gestured toward her usual spot on the couch. ``No, no. Sorry, I was a bit stuck up in my head. Could probably do with getting out more often.''
+Ey hesitated, considering eir options. The desire to fix, to help, to aid and assist, still hung around em, but it'd be impertinent for em to just offer that out of nowhere. Instead, ey said, ``Something May said. About you, I mean. Hopefully that's not weird.''
 
-The skunk nodded and sat, blinking a cone of silence into being. She lapped at a bit of the whipped cream atop her mocha to get down to the drink. ``I quite understand. Bit too cooped up of late?''
+The skunk laughed. ``It depends on what she said, does it not? Though I am flattered to have been in your thoughts. What did she have to say?''
 
-``A little, I guess. Heads down, maybe. End of the year performances, helping May write a monologue, working on my own next project.''
+``That you're the type of person to take on whatever's in front of you, even if your docket's already full. I was trying to piece together how much of that applies to the rest of the clade, too.'' After a moment, ey shrugged and added, ``And myself, for that matter.''
 
-She grinned. ``Plenty on your plate, then. May I ask how May Then My Name is doing?''
+True Name looked up to the ceiling, head tilted thoughtfully. ``I do not think there is any disputing that I will load myself up with responsibilities, often to the point of overloading. I remember some of that from before I was forked, though I do not think Michelle was of quite the same temperament. She took on more than she could handle more out of a sense of social obligation than\ldots whatever it is that drives me.''
 
-``Oh, she's alright.''
+``Determination? Persistence?''
 
-Ey must have hesitated before responding or not kept eir own anxiety out of eir voice, as True Name's expression fell. ``Say hi for me?''
+She shrugged. ``Perhaps. What is it that Dear says so often? `I do not make art because I know why; if I knew why, I would not need to make art'? It is like that for me. I do not strive because I know what drives me. If I knew what that was, who knows if I would continue to strive?''
 
-Ey nodded. ``Of course.''
+Ey marveled, as ey so often did, at just how many of the Odists seem to speak in well structured paragraphs. Thesis, hypothesis, synthesis.
 
-``I am also curious to hear about her monologue. It is something I remember thinking about occasionally and yet never got around to doing. I am pleased that one of us is.''
+``It seems like it's wearing on you,'' ey said. Realizing that it had been nearly five minutes of em trying to psych emself up to say so, ey added, ``All that you've got going on, I mean.''
 
-That also felt like a closed topic given its context of being purpose-built, so ey shook eir head. ``I'm not comfortable talking about that without her permission. Sorry, True Name.''
+She frowned, leaned forward to pick up her coffee, and took a lapping sip. ``Does it? I am feeling increasingly overloaded, yes, but that is not new. How is it visible?''
 
-She smiled disarmingly and held up her free paw. ``Of course, Ioan, no trouble. Can you tell me about your own project, perhaps?''
+``You just seem more tired every time I see you.''
 
-Ey opened eir mouth, closed it again, then laughed. ``I feel like I laid a bunch of conversational landmines around me. Hopefully it's not uncomfortable, but with all that went down on Castor, I've been toying with rewriting \emph{On the Perils of Memory} as a play.''
+She nodded. ``I am, yes.''
 
-The skunk got a strange look on her face, then laughed. ``Oh really? Cheeky! I do not know if I will be able to make it to a performance, but I will be delighted to read the script, if you wind up publishing it.''
+``Is there--'' Ey caught emself up short, forcibly tamped down the urge to offer to help, and instead said, ``I mean, what all are you working on? I can never tell with you and May. It just looks like thinking.''
 
-Ey laughed as well, more relieved than anything. ``I'll make sure you get a copy, then. Was worried you'd be upset by it.''
+``It is perhaps a problem with doing all of one's work in one's head.'' she said. ``We are not blessed with your affinity for paper.''
 
-She waved her paw dismissively. ``Of course not, my dear. That whole kerfuffle was, what, forty years ago? Forty-five? It has been comfortably relegated to memory and is thus fair game for artists.''
+``Or cursed.''
 
-Nodding, ey finished eir coffee and set the cup down on the table so ey could pull out eir notebook and get to writing.
+She chuckled. ``Your words, not mine. But, well\ldots with the understanding that I cannot tell you everything that I am working on, I will say that there is much to be done when it comes to shaping sys-side sentiment around all of the various new tech.''
 
-Ey worked for a few minutes. They both did, if True Name's thoughtful gaze up into nothing was anything to go by. Ey'd wound eir way past all those conversational mines—May, her monologue, the play about Qoheleth—and now felt free to relax into the afternoon.
+``Oh?''
 
-``You know,'' the skunk said thoughtfully, bringing em out of eir writing. ``I was quite pleased when that book came out.''
+``The expanded ACLs on cones of silence, for example. It is nice to be able to obscure the occupants, yes? No more hiding one's mouth or expression. Limiting sensorium messages into or out of them by individual or clade is also quite nice for guaranteeing information security. Your interlocutor cannot be used to spy on you, yes? Ditto the refinements on sweeping unwanted occupants. We may shape our interactions more exactly with this tech. But how does one pass on the knowledge of the upgrades to the System? There are various feeds, yes, but even something as small as that requires some thought put into how to announce it. Do we hail it as a technological advancement, or do we put a tone of resignation on it, as though we have been given something no one wanted? Perhaps we announce it with a resounding chorus of `fucking \emph{finally}'.''
 
-``What, \emph{Perils}?''
+``It seems to have gone over well, at least.''
 
-She nodded. ``It was something of a relief in a strange, roundabout way. While I would have preferred that it had not ended the way it did, it wound up being a pretty efficient way to bring all of that to the surface. A lot of very smart people have been thinking about it over the last few decades, and I am pleased to see some progress being made, especially on the therapeutic side.''
+``It has, yes.'' Then, with a tilt of her head, ey felt the ACL-scape of the cone they were within shift, and there was a subtle blurring to the world around them as she opaqued the cone from the outside. ``Now consider the effects of audio/visual transmission between sys- and phys-side.''
 
-Ioan tilted eir head thoughtfully. ``Sounds like, yeah. At least, from what I hear from May and Codrin. A Finger Pointing has been pretty tight-lipped about her own therapy and I don't think End Waking went along with it.''
+Ey blinked and sat up straighter. ``Wait, what?''
 
-``He does not seem the type, no.''
+``You see? Much thought must be put into managing expectations.''
 
-``Is it working out well for you, too?''
+``Back up a moment. Are we going to actually get that?''
 
-``Well enough,'' she said. ``Though I am not comfortable discussing beyond that.''
+``It is already enabled in a select few locked-down sims, yes. AVEC, we are calling it. Audio/Visual Extrasystem Communication. A faint hope to foster a sense of connection between our two worlds with a pithy name.''
 
-Ey nodded. ``Right, sorry.''
+``Holy shit.''
 
-``It is alright. Thank you for understanding.'' She raised her cup towards em in a small toast. ``As to your book, however, I found it most interesting in that I was able to learn much about the assessment and impact of the events on the\ldots ah, liberal side of the clade.''
+She laughed. ``Holy shit, indeed. I have no clue as to the tech that goes into it, which is made all the more complicated from it being inspired by our dear Artemisian friends, but what I do know is that this will shift many of the plans in place around stability. When I sit here in silence, drinking my coffee and looking deep in thought, I am working on that. I write my speeches or talk with my cocladists or other versions of myself, and fill out the exo I have dedicated to the topic.''
 
-Ioan had to focus on keeping eir expression neutral. True Name hadn't always had the kindest of words for the self-proclaimed liberal Odists. ``I'll admit, I was worried as to how the book would go over with the conservatives.''
+``And that wears you out?'' Ey hastened to add, ``Not to say that it isn't work, of course.''
 
-``There were no assassins in the night, I trust?'' she asked, grinning.
+The skunk gave a hint of a bow in acknowledgement. ``It is part of a larger work landscape in progress, yes. So much to keep in my head, so many conversations to be had, so many tiny social interactions to monitor, both in person and over the text of the perisystem feeds.''
 
-``Uh\ldots well, no,'' ey stammered, caught off guard by the humor. ``Actually, no contact at all. I don't think I've even talked about what happened with the other side of the clade until now.''
+Ey nodded. There was so much to process in just the new tech, not to mention the reminder that, even if ey'd long since started thinking of True Name as a complete and complex person and not some shady, two-dimensional villain, she still had her fingers in just about every political pie that could possibly exist on the three incarnations of the System.
 
-``\,`The other side of the clade' is a more appropriate phrase, is it not? We are spread along a spectrum. Those like Dear, May Then My Name, and Hammered Silver at one end, those such as Praiseworthy, Those Who Forge, and Teeth Of Death somewhere in the middle, and then me and my ilk on the other. Death Itself and her stanza, out of all of us, seemed to have escaped that spectrum.'' The skunk finished her drink sitting in a silence for a minute, an acknowledgement of the losses from that stanza, then leaned forward to set her cup down before continuing. ``To soothe any fears you may have, it was not me who hired Guōweī, nor am I pleased with what happened and how.''
+``Does writing not wear you out, Ioan?''
 
-``Who did? Do you know?''
+``Well, sometimes,'' ey hedged. ``I guess it depends on what all is going into whatever it is that I'm writing. The \emph{History} wore me out at some points, particularly during research, but for the most part, writing was just\ldots what I did. It didn't wear me out any more than breathing might.''
 
-She smiled pityingly at em. ``Ioan, please.''
+``And theatre?''
 
-``Right, of course you do. I don't imagine you feel comfortable telling me who, though.''
+``Oh, that definitely wears me out.''
 
-``It is not a matter of comfort, my dear, it is one of information hygiene. The fewer people who know, the less of a chance there is of plans going awry. Besides,'' she nodded toward em. ``We considered the impact that \emph{Perils} would have on the System, and leaving that element of mystery in it accomplished our goals.''
+``I remember that, yes. Even just standing backstage, waiting for one's moment to enter felt exhausting sometimes. I would get all worn out and want nothing more than to go home and fall over, afterwards.''
 
-``Goals?'' Ey shook eir head. ``How do you mean?''
+``Didn't you go get shitty diner food or whatever?''
 
-The skunk folded her paws in her lap, leaning back against the couch. ``What would you say the current public opinion is of the book?''
+``Oh, nearly every time,'' she said, grinning. ``I would never let so sacred a ritual be spoiled by something as silly as sleep.''
 
-``I\ldots well, hmm. If you'd asked me that a few weeks ago, I wouldn't have been able to say, but I've been digging back into it for this project. I guess most seem to see it as a sort of cautionary tale. I didn't publish the internal report, so I think the fact that it read like investigative journalism made people treat it almost like a work of fiction.''
+Ey nodded. ``A Finger Pointing certainly holds to it like a ritual, yeah. It's a toss up whether or not she drinks us all under the table.''
 
-``Yes, and mystery plays a role in that. This is why we suggested you not publish the clade-side report. There is an appropriate level of mystery in what you did publish that aligned with our goals.''
+``Of course.'' The skunk grinned and finished her coffee, setting the mug down on the table. ``We studied long and hard to build up such a tolerance.''
 
-``So, similar to what you and Jonas did with the \emph{History}.''
+``Doesn't sound super healthy.''
 
-There was the briefest flicker of a wince on the skunk's face at the mention of Jonas, quickly mastered. She replaced it with a smile and gave a hint of a bow. ``Yes. In a relatively short time, both have started to fade into a near mythical status. A credit to your skills as a writer, Mx. Bălan.''
+``I suppose not. At least, not back phys-side.''
 
-Ey smiled warily. ``Thanks. Why, though?''
+``I noticed that seems to be unevenly distributed,'' ey observed. ``May and I rarely drink unless it's with someone else, but Dear and its partners seem to drink quite a bit.''
 
-``Why are they becoming myths?'' She shrugged. ``Life on the System is shaped by the modes of our existence. Creativity has assumed a level of primacy that was not feasible phys-side, and so successful creative works accelerate more quickly toward myth, here.''
+``So I have heard. There are a few aspects of our past life that were only picked up by a few of us, beyond the obvious interests. Drinking, theatre and art, furry, that sort of thing. I have never figured out whether there is any rhyme or reason to it.''
 
-Ey nodded. ``And you? What do you think of it?''
+Ey nodded. ``Makes me wonder if I might've done the same if I were more of a dispersionista.''
 
-``Of \emph{Perils}?''
+``Perhaps,'' she said, shrugging. ``Codrin has diverged quite a bit from you. They both have. You can put at least some of that on us, though. May Then My Name and Dear, I mean.''
 
-``That, the possible play, the events as a whole.''
+``Right,'' ey said, laughing. ``May's fond of saying that it's the Odists' job to fuck with us until we loosen up.''
 
-There was a moment of quiet as the skunk thought, brushing a paw over one of her knees to smooth out her slacks. ``With the understanding that there is much that I cannot tell you about my feelings on the proceedings, I found it all frustrating and unnerving. I worked with Qoheleth on several occasions throughout the years, and watching his\ldots I will not say decline, as I think the analogy does not hold, but his metamorphosis from Odist to Qoheleth touched on some primal distress. As I have said, I am not pleased with what happened or how. I liked him quite a bit.''
+True Name folded her paws in her lap primly, grinning to em.
 
-This seemed to deserve another moment of silence, one of acknowledgement rather than thoughtfulness, and so ey let it play out, the muffled clatter of the rest of the cafe coming through the cone of silence suddenly much more present.
+\emph{This is it,} ey thought. \emph{This is why I keep coming back. Even if she is consciously turning up the friendliness to maintain some weird status quo, or even if she's naturally like that, she's still nice to be around.}
 
-``What news from Castor had you thinking about \emph{Perils}?''
+Ey considered letting the topic continue, but the thought was intriguing enough to voice out loud. ``Why do you do this, True Name? Get coffee with me, I mean.''
 
-``I'm sorry?''
+``There is nothing nefarious about it, if that is what you are asking,'' she said, pausing briefly. ``In confidence?''
 
-``Well, I do not associate aliens or time modification or the\ldots ah, struggles that Answers Will Not Help experienced with what happened with Qoheleth.''
+``Of course. I imagine most of what you say is in confidence.''
 
-Eir mind raced. How could ey possibly bring up the Name? That Codrin now knew it and that knowledge—at least at one layer of remove—had propagated through the clade? Surely she knew that, at least, but how could ey say that out loud to her?
+``Indeed. I trust that you will not share the news about AVEC yet.''
 
-``Mx. Bălan?'' True Name was frowning, whether at eir silence or expression ey couldn't guess. ``I am guessing that the answer is complicated.''
+Ey nodded.
 
-``It\ldots uh, yeah. What Codrin heard on Artemis\ldots I mean\ldots{}''
+``Right. Then I suppose it is just nice to have a friend, for lack of a better term.''
 
-The skunk tilted her head, gestured for em to continue.
+A conversation from years back wafted up through eir memory. ``You said back during convergence, `We will never be close, you and I.' Has that changed?''
 
-\emph{Doesn't she know?} ey thought. \emph{She has to. Is she faking it?}
+``I do not know. Has it?''
 
-``Well,'' ey stammered, hastily backtracking through eir train of thought. Perhaps ey should feign ignorance as well if that was indeed what she was doing. ``All that about getting lost, and how fourthrace experienced similar and also dealt with long-term effects.''
+Ey frowned.
 
-Still frowning, she nodded.
+``That is why I say `for lack of a better term'. We are on good terms, are we not? We are able to co-exist, to talk about news and nonsense, yes? To chat?'' She shrugged, smiled to em. ``That is perilously close to friendship, I think. If you do not feel that the label fits, I understand, but I stand by what I said: it is nice to have a friend. Someone who is not another me.''
 
-``It was all bound up in some clade-eyes-only thoughts,'' ey hastened to add, hoping that the slight untruth would be enough. ``Eir worries about Dear, Death Itself\ldots but I don't want to say any more.''
+``Aren't you friends with Jonas?''
 
-That seemed to have been enough, as the tenseness that had been building in her shoulders relaxed, though her frown remained. ``Of course, yes, I did not mean to press. My apologies.''
+The hesitation was brief, but still notable for just how tense it was. ``We make pretty good colleagues, and we have a mode of interaction that is comfortable for us, but the dynamic that you and I have is far closer to friendship than that of mine and his.''
 
-Ey shook eir head and waved a hand. ``It's okay, I just had to disentangle all those thoughts really quickly.''
+Ey tilted eir head, asking, ``Was that always the case?''
 
-``You are a very thoughtful person,'' she said, a hint of a smile creeping back onto her muzzle. ``In the common sense as well as in the sense that you seem to be at all times full of thoughts.''
+The skunk's expression never changed, but her tone grew far more careful as she bowed her head politely and said, ``I am not comfortable with this topic, my dear.''
 
-``I lost track of the number of times May's accused me of living up in my head a long time ago, yeah.''
+``Of course. Sorry, True Name.''
 
-``There is no harm in it, my dear. It serves you well.'' She settled back against the couch once more and sighed. ``Pleasant as it has been, I have spent more time talking than intended. I would like to get a bit of work done before I lose track of the threads, if that is alright.''
+She nodded once more, the relief in her expression as plain as the exhaustion that came with it. ``Thank you for being understanding. All of that to say that I enjoy our coffee and co-working sessions because there is a sense of friendship to them, and even I need that sometimes.''
 
-Ey smiled and nodded. ``Of course, True Name.''
+``Well, I'm happy to provide,'' ey said. The Bălan clade seemed to have undergone a collective reevaluation of True Name over the last few years, but even so, the plain earnestness led to a moment of tamping down suspicion that ey was simply being played. ``And for what it's worth, that lines up with my thoughts. Glad we have the chance to do so.''
 
-As the skunk's focus drifted away, ey opened eir notebook again and stared at what ey'd written already. The words were marks on the page, ey could tell, but eir mind was so wrapped up in the conversation that ey wasn't able to make sense of them. Too much had gone on in too short a timespan. All that talk of Qoheleth, of the conservatives' opinions of the events, or at least of True Name's.
+She raised her cup in acknowledgment. ``Thank you, Ioan. That is perhaps a good note to end on, as I would like to reconcile memories across my instances.''
 
-She'd been so candid about it all, just as she'd been growing more candid with em in general over the last few years. She had all the reason in the world to use her centuries of skills intentionally, though. Ey'd never met anyone so tightly in control of themself as her. Perhaps even now, dozens, hundreds of sensorium messages were flying across her stanza preparing a soft landing for eir play in light of the fact that others now knew the Name.
+Ey nodded. ``Sure. Until next time?''
 
-And yet\ldots{}
+The skunk stood and bowed. ``Yes. Until next time. Enjoy the rest of your day, my dear.''
 
-And yet ey couldn't stop emself from thinking, \emph{Holy shit, I don't think she knows.}
+The cone of silence dropped, letting in a jolt of noise, and the skunk stepped from the sim. Ey finished eir coffee, then stepped back home.
+
+``I am pleased to see that you did not die,'' May said, looking up from her notebook.
+
+Ey kicked off eir shoes and set down eir own notebook on eir desk before walking over to give her a kiss between the ears. ``Nope, not this time. Stuck with me for a while yet.''
+
+She set her pen down and stretched before leaning up to dot her nose against eirs, arms draped up around eir shoulders. ``Good, I am not finished wringing all I can out of you. One day, you will be left a broken husk of a Bălan and I will move on to my next victim.''
+
+Shaking eir head, ey returned that nose-press before straightening up. ``You're doing a crap job of it, May. You keep adding to my life rather than taking away from it.''
+
+She laughed. ``Even when you are joking, you are adorable. Love you too, my dear. How was True Name?''
+
+``Oh, fine. Much the same, I guess. We just worked and chatted and drank coffee. Nothing unusual.''
+
+``Well, that can be good, right?''
+
+``Yeah, comfort in familiarity. She did at least confirm your hypothesis that she's just been overloading herself.''
+
+May nodded, stood, padded to her beanbag, flopped down. ``Of all of us, she is most prone to that, I suspect.''
+
+``I don't think the Artemis dump is helping out, there. They're pulling all sorts of stuff from it.''
+
+``You are as well, are you not?''
+
+Ey laughed. ``I suppose I am, at that.''
+
+She reached out and snagged one of eir hands, pulling em down onto the beanbag beside her. Ey lay back and let her rest her head against eir shoulder before settling eir arm around her. Comfortable, familiar.
+
+``She said something else that was interesting I'd like to discuss, but I don't want to keep talking about her if you're uncomfortable with it. It can be later.''
+
+She shrugged, doodling a dull claw lazily over eir stomach through eir shirt and vest, sitting just shy of ticklish. ``I do not mind. You know that I have been working on it.''
+
+``Sure, I just didn't want to--''
+
+``I will tell you if I would like to drop the topic, I promise,'' she said, then laughed. ``Sorry, Ioan. I did not mean to interrupt.''
+
+``No, it's okay. She actually did that quite well today.'' Ey leaned eir head back on the beanbag. ``I asked why she kept up with me with the coffee meetings, and she said that it's just nice to have a friend.''
+
+May tilted her head up, enough to bump her nose against the underside of eir chin. ``Are you? Friends, I mean.''
+
+``That's what we talked about. Neither of us could really decide on anything beyond `friends for lack of a better term'.'' Ey hesitated, feeling incredibly conscious of eir partner resting against em, her stated resentment of her down-tree instance, how that had veered for so long into hatred over all that she had done. Ey continued, speaking carefully, ``I like having interesting people to talk to and she's been pretty good company. She likes having someone to just be around and talk with that isn't herself or Jonas.''
+
+``Are they still not getting along?''
+
+``Worse, maybe. That's where she requested that I drop the topic. She said that they made good coworkers, but not necessarily friends, and I asked if that was always the case, and she said she wasn't comfortable having that conversation. Very politely, of course, but it looked like it took a lot of effort.''
+
+``Mm.'' The skunk lowered her muzzle, letting em peek down at her again. ``I have been working on how I define myself in relation to True Name. I do not like that I spent so long hating her. I do not want that to be a part of who I am. I am May, who loves, yes? I hold no such compunctions about Jonas, though, and I am sorry that she still feels she must engage with him. He was a piece of shit then and I imagine that he is far worse now.''
+
+``Huh?'' Ey shook eir head as ey pieced together what she meant. ``Oh right, sorry. I guess you were forked off after he and True Name started working together.''
+
+``Yes. I remember that from when I was her. We were not friends then, and I am glad that she is not his friend now.''
+
+``I only met him those few times years back, and yeah, I'm glad she isn't, either. He was definitely a piece of shit.''
+
+She laughed and poked em in the belly. ``Mx. Ioan Bălan, you watch your language.''
+
+``Hey, I curse!''
+
+``Not well, Ionuț.''
+
+``Yeah, well, fuck you too,'' ey said, smirking at the teasingly diminutive form of eir name.
+
+The skunk sat up and gave em an exaggerated frown. ``I am warning you, young man.''
+
+Ey rolled eir eyes. ``\,`Young man'?''
+
+``Little miss?''
+
+Ey grinned, shook eir head. ``Try again.''
+
+``Young gentlethem.''
+
+Ey laughed. ``I don't know what your hang-up is, you nut. I learned it from you.''
+
+``What, `fuck you too'?'' May shook her head. ``It just sounds so strange coming from your mouth.''
+
+``I'm not as good at the well placed profanity as all of you.''
+
+``It is an art we have perfected. It increases the impact when they do show up. Even True Name does it, I am sure.''
+
+``She has once or twice, yeah. You two still sound similar enough in terms of your voices, so I feel like I'm used to it.''
+
+May nodded, leaned down, and licked em squarely across the nose before settling down against eir front again. ``Yes, I suppose we do. Here is where we drop the topic, however.''
+
+``Alright,'' ey said, wiping eir face. ``What should we do for dinner?''