Updates with 2023/2024 edits

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-\hypertarget{debarre-2350}{%
-\chapter{Debarre — 2350}\label{debarre-2350}}
-\markboth{Debarre — 2350}{}
+\begin{center}\rule{0.5\linewidth}{0.5pt}\end{center}
 
-Debarre and Do I Know God After The End Waking stood, naked and frowning, on the granite that hung cantilevered above the pond that had dug itself into the forest floor beneath the falls. It wasn't a high drop, not enough to turn the stomach, but enough to keep them from simply jumping in.
+Ioan pulled together a stack of eir notes and, with a little concentration and a gesture, moved them over to a once-blank notebook, the pages now filled with eir scratchy shorthand. To this was added one of eir nicer pens, clipped to the cover, and a few slips of foolscap besides.
 
-``And you're sure it's deep enough?''
+Tucking those under eir arm, ey walked over to May's desk and bent down to give the skunk a kiss atop her head, right between her ears. ``I'm heading out. No messing with my pens, okay?''
 
-``I am not, no,'' End Waking said, then let out a shout and leapt off the overhang out over the water.
+Rather than the usual `do not die' joke, she turned on her stool, looped her arms up around eir shoulders, and pressed her nose to eirs. ``You will be okay, yes?''
 
-The weasel's frown deepened. No sounds of screaming below, at least.
+Ey hesitated. Something about her tone pointed more towards anxiety than simple seriousness. Ey leaned forward to set eir notebook down, tugged up on eir slacks, and settled to eir knees in front of her. ``Of course, May. Will you?''
 
-``Fuck it,'' he muttered, and stepped off the edge of the rock, arms folded over his chest, and plunged, feet first, into the water.
+``I will be fine,'' she said, smiling. ``I am just a little worried today, is all.''
 
-The cold was enough to drive his breath from him. Even though there wasn't any snow this low down on the hillside, it was still cold out and even colder up-slope from whence the snow-melt came. He realized, too late, that another possibility for there not being any screaming from his boyfriend below was due to the frigid water.
+``Any particular reason why?''
 
-All the same, there was nothing beneath his feet for at least another meter as he sank below the surface.
+``I just am. I am trying to build trust, but\ldots{}'' She shrugged.
 
-Thankful for small victories, he swam shakily for the surface, breaching the water with a shallow gasp and teeth already chattering.
+``Want me to leave a fork behind?''
 
-End Waking floated closer, treading water. The skunk's smile was wide, but his teeth were clenched shut in a clear attempt to slow the shivering. ``Pleasant day out, is it not?''
+``Will they be intolerable and antsy?''
 
-``F-fuck you,'' Debarre said, laughing breathlessly. ``I'm getting up to the fire ASAP.''
+Ey laughed. ``Depends on how much pestering you do.''
 
-The skunk laughed, shoved at him weakly, and then swam for the shore, weasel in tow.
+She lifted her snout enough to lick eir nose-tip, then shoved at em playfully. ``I am busy, my dear.''
 
-They slicked the water off themselves as best they could while walking. Fluffy as he was, End Waking had the larger job of it, spending most of the rest of the short trek back up the hill to the fire he'd built squeezing water out of his tail fur.
+``You fork more than anyone I know, you could just--''
 
-Once there, they parked a meter or so before the fire and huddled beneath his woolen cloak, held open toward the flames, soaking up as much warmth as they could.
+``I am trying to tell you to get out of here, Ioan,'' she said, grinning in earnest. ``Do not mind a little bit of anxiety. I am sorry that that spilled over. I will think on it and we will talk later. Good luck, have fun, and do not die, okay?''
 
-``That was fucking cold,'' Debarre said once he was able to speak without stammering. ``You're such an asshole, I can't believe I ever listen to you. Fine fucking way to ring in the new year.''
+Ey shook eir head and stood again, grabbing eir notebook. ``Skunks. I swear\ldots{}''
 
-``Yes, well, I love you too,'' End Waking said, grinning. ``Thank you for joining me, and for your help today.''
+Ey stepped out of the sim before she could kick eir shin.
 
-They'd spent the afternoon building up a rammed earth wall for the skunk's new house, pulling sandy clay from the pile they'd brought up from the pond's shore the previous day, mixing in deer's blood as a binder before stacking it in a frame, and pounding it with logs sanded smooth and cut down to a diameter that fit comfortably in their paws.
+Ey ordered eir usual coffee and staked out eir usual spot on the couch. Rather than getting to work while ey waited for True Name, ey simply sat and enjoyed eir coffee as best ey could, staring off into nothing while mulling over May's words.
 
-Part of the ramming process had involved carefully setting the chimney pipe for the wood stove between the layers of earth as they built up. This had seemed an unnecessarily fiddly process despite the admonitions that, if the pipe crumpled beneath the sand, clay, and blood while they pounded it, the wall wouldn't be sturdy and there might be gaps. As it was, after they built up the rest of the tent, they'd have to seal that spot with more bloody earth and a layer of pitch.
+\emph{You will be okay, yes?}
 
-It had left them both feeling worn out and dirty, and when Debarre said he was going to wash the sticky earth from his paws and fur, End Waking had suggested turning that into the icy plunge.
+Ey frowned and shifted eir gaze down to eir coffee, half gone by now. There were relatively few things that would bring about such anxiety in May, and ey knew the majority of them stemmed from within herself.
 
-The skunk had then built up the fire higher than usual, told Debarre that they'd need to do so nude as he shed his clothes by the fire so they'd stay dry, and then pulled him along to the rock overhang.
+She had occasionally gotten upset at em, usually when ey'd not picked up on some cue that she'd given for some emotional need ey wasn't meeting. In each case, she would express as best she could after the initial burst of anxiety. Her down-tree instance was another source, though that hatred she'd borne for so long had softened to something more like distaste of late.
 
-Once their fronts were mostly dry, they turned out to face the waterfall and ravine, draping the cloak over their shoulders with their backs exposed to the fire, sitting in silence and leaning against each other, sharing warmth.
+All of the other times, though, had come from within. Whatever dire emotions that dwelt beneath the chipper, goofy, sarcastic, and delightfully earnest layer that made up the most of her would peek through and a little spark of something more profound and inexplicable would come over her.
 
-``Why don't you build your camp here?''
+Ey frowned down to eir coffee and considered whether ey should start laying in supplies in case she asked em to leave should waves of uncontrollable emotion take her, that `overflowing' that seemed to affect most—if not all—of the clade. If this was the first sign, though, ey at least had some time yet.
 
-``The river may overflow, and come spring, the fall will be quite loud.''
+``Mx. Bălan?''
 
-Debarre grinned, ``Don't need the white noise?''
+Ey jolted and sat upright. True Name stood on the other side of the low table from em, not yet having made the move to sit. ``Sorry, True Name.''
 
-``Not particularly, though I am more concerned about flooding. I already had a tree fall on me while I slept, you will surely remember, and I do not feel the need to be carried away on dirty waters so soon after.''
+She smiled kindly and bowed. ``May I join you? You looked quite deep in thought, and I am happy to meet up at another time.''
 
-``Thanks for letting me back after that happened,'' he said, more quietly. ``And thanks for forking to fix your leg.''
+Returning the bow apologetically, ey gestured toward her usual spot on the couch. ``No, no. Sorry, I was a bit stuck up in my head. Could probably do with getting out more often.''
 
-``Of course, my dear. I do not know who else I would have called. And thank you for your patience during my solitude.''
+The skunk nodded and sat, blinking a cone of silence into being. She lapped at a bit of the whipped cream atop her mocha to get down to the drink. ``I quite understand. Bit too cooped up of late?''
 
-Debarre nodded and slid an arm around the skunk's waist. ``I'm used to it by now. Besides, \#Tracker had a larger merge than usual to deal with.''
+``A little, I guess. Heads down, maybe. End of the year performances, helping May write a monologue, working on my own next project.''
 
-``That is what happens when I steal a version of you away and then aliens visit one of the LVs. I will accept half of the blame.'' He smiled, adding, ``Perhaps less than half. You had your own stuff going on.''
+She grinned. ``Plenty on your plate, then. May I ask how May Then My Name is doing?''
 
-``Well, \#Tracker did.'' He snorted, shook his head. ``It's what I get for only part of me hanging around interesting people.''
+``Oh, she's alright.''
 
-``Am I so boring, my dear?''
+Ey must have hesitated before responding or not kept eir own anxiety out of eir voice, as True Name's expression fell. ``Say hi for me?''
 
-He shook his head. ``No, just plain. Your life is pretty simple out here. \#Tracker is still all caught up on all the political stuff with user11824 and Yared.''
+Ey nodded. ``Of course.''
 
-End Waking made a face. ``Gross.''
+``I am also curious to hear about her monologue. It is something I remember thinking about occasionally and yet never got around to doing. I am pleased that one of us is.''
 
-``They aren't \emph{that} bad,'' he said, laughing.
+That also felt like a closed topic given its context of being purpose-built, so ey shook eir head. ``I'm not comfortable talking about that without her permission. Sorry, True Name.''
 
-``They are fine, I am sure,'' the skunk said. ``You may keep the political stuff, though.''
+She smiled disarmingly and held up her free paw. ``Of course, Ioan, no trouble. Can you tell me about your own project, perhaps?''
 
-``I mean, that's why I'm out here. It's good to get away from all that bullshit.''
+Ey opened eir mouth, closed it again, then laughed. ``I feel like I laid a bunch of conversational landmines around me. Hopefully it's not uncomfortable, but with all that went down on Castor, I've been toying with rewriting \emph{On the Perils of Memory} as a play.''
 
-``Oh, so you are using me for a vacation, then?''
+The skunk got a strange look on her face, then laughed. ``Oh really? Cheeky! I do not know if I will be able to make it to a performance, but I will be delighted to read the script, if you wind up publishing it.''
 
-Debarre laughed and poked at End Waking's thigh. ``Where'd this sense of humor come from?''
+Ey laughed as well, more relieved than anything. ``I'll make sure you get a copy, then. Was worried you'd be upset by it.''
 
-``The audacity of weasels never ceases to amaze,'' he said. ``I have a sense of humor. The squirrels and I share our private jokes. I practice them before the fire.''
+She waved her paw dismissively. ``Of course not, my dear. That whole kerfuffle was, what, forty years ago? Forty-five? It has been comfortably relegated to memory and is thus fair game for artists.''
 
-``Fucking weirdo,'' Debarre said, rolling his eyes. He tucked closer to the skunk all the same.
+Nodding, ey finished eir coffee and set the cup down on the table so ey could pull out eir notebook and get to writing.
 
-That End Waking was so open to touch over the last few weeks was something he was keen to take advantage of. Neither of them were necessarily the cuddly type, and most of the time, he was happy with the level of physical contact he got from the skunk, just as he was with the partners his other forks had settled down with. Still, it was nice every once and a while. A bit of touch to keep him grounded. It tended to happen when their relationship picked up again, after both of them had spent months or years apart, each living their separate, more cerebral lives.
+Ey worked for a few minutes. They both did, if True Name's thoughtful gaze up into nothing was anything to go by. Ey'd wound eir way past all those conversational mines—May, her monologue, the play about Qoheleth—and now felt free to relax into the afternoon.
 
-Before long, however, they set the cloak aside to get dressed, and Debarre watched as End Waking prepped a sizeable hare and pushed it onto a cast-iron spit and set it over the fire, a tilted pan beneath it catching the drippings.
+``You know,'' the skunk said thoughtfully, bringing em out of eir writing. ``I was quite pleased when that book came out.''
 
-They dined on the hare and squash roasted in the fat, both pungent with thyme. They stayed up until it was well and truly dark, chatting.
+``What, \emph{Perils}?''
 
-Worn out as they were, though, they didn't last much longer, eventually retreating to the makeshift tent that End Waking had set up using the patched fabric that had been his previous shelter strung over a rope and draped over his recovered cot. Narrow as it was, they had to huddle close—the only time the skunk was consistently okay with close physical contact and intimacy—sharing each others' warmth beneath the cloak and a few blankets besides.
+She nodded. ``It was something of a relief in a strange, roundabout way. While I would have preferred that it had not ended the way it did, it wound up being a pretty efficient way to bring all of that to the surface. A lot of very smart people have been thinking about it over the last few decades, and I am pleased to see some progress being made, especially on the therapeutic side.''
 
-``E.W.?''
+Ioan tilted eir head thoughtfully. ``Sounds like, yeah. At least, from what I hear from May and Codrin. A Finger Pointing has been pretty tight-lipped about her own therapy and I don't think End Waking went along with it.''
 
-``I like it when you call me that.''
+``He does not seem the type, no.''
 
-``I'm a sucker for nicknames,'' he said, tucking himself back against him.
+``Is it working out well for you, too?''
 
-``That you are.'' He rested his snout over Debarre's shoulder. ``What were you going to say, my love?''
+``Well enough,'' she said. ``Though I am not comfortable discussing beyond that.''
 
-``I\ldots well, all these little changes are coming to the System. The ACL changes, the cones of silence\ldots{}''
+Ey nodded. ``Right, sorry.''
 
-``I do not use those.''
+``It is alright. Thank you for understanding.'' She raised her cup towards em in a small toast. ``As to your book, however, I found it most interesting in that I was able to learn much about the assessment and impact of the events on the\ldots ah, liberal side of the clade.''
 
-``Well, but you never leave here and you gave up on all the politics.''
+Ioan had to focus on keeping eir expression neutral. True Name hadn't always had the kindest of words for the self-proclaimed liberal Odists. ``I'll admit, I was worried as to how the book would go over with the conservatives.''
 
-``This is by design.''
+``There were no assassins in the night, I trust?'' she asked, grinning.
 
-Debarre laughed, shaking his head. ``I'm just worried about so many changes in so short a time.''
+``Uh\ldots well, no,'' ey stammered, caught off guard by the humor. ``Actually, no contact at all. I don't think I've even talked about what happened with the other side of the clade until now.''
 
-``How so?''
+``\,`The other side of the clade' is a more appropriate phrase, is it not? We are spread along a spectrum. Those like Dear, May Then My Name, and Hammered Silver at one end, those such as Praiseworthy, Those Who Forge, and Teeth Of Death somewhere in the middle, and then me and my ilk on the other. Death Itself and her stanza, out of all of us, seemed to have escaped that spectrum.'' The skunk finished her drink sitting in a silence for a minute, an acknowledgement of the losses from that stanza, then leaned forward to set her cup down before continuing. ``To soothe any fears you may have, it was not me who hired Guōweī, nor am I pleased with what happened and how.''
 
-``I dunno,'' Debarre mumbled. ``I just think there's a lot of subtle things—more like the little stuff May Then My Name talks about—and I'm worried those will break or disappear.''
+``Who did? Do you know?''
 
-End Waking hummed thoughtfully. ``They have survived Secession and Launch.''
+She smiled pityingly at em. ``Ioan, please.''
 
-``Yeah, but those were political things, right? Not technological things.''
+``Right, of course you do. I don't imagine you feel comfortable telling me who, though.''
 
-``You are worried external engineers will tamper?''
+``It is not a matter of comfort, my dear, it is one of information hygiene. The fewer people who know, the less of a chance there is of plans going awry. Besides,'' she nodded toward em. ``We considered the impact that \emph{Perils} would have on the System, and leaving that element of mystery in it accomplished our goals.''
 
-He nodded.
+``Goals?'' Ey shook eir head. ``How do you mean?''
 
-``I do not know that they have a good enough understanding of the subtleties to do so. The System is greater than the sum of its component parts.''
+The skunk folded her paws in her lap, leaning back against the couch. ``What would you say the current public opinion is of the book?''
 
-``Well, maybe not intentionally changing things. Just knock on effects, maybe.'' \emph{Or maybe internal politics encouraging changes,} he added mentally.
+``I\ldots well, hmm. If you'd asked me that a few weeks ago, I wouldn't have been able to say, but I've been digging back into it for this project. I guess most seem to see it as a sort of cautionary tale. I didn't publish the internal report, so I think the fact that it read like investigative journalism made people treat it almost like a work of fiction.''
 
-``I imagine they will be careful, even around the subtle things.''
+``Yes, and mystery plays a role in that. This is why we suggested you not publish the clade-side report. There is an appropriate level of mystery in what you did publish that aligned with our goals.''
 
-They lay silent for a while, Debarre thinking and, if the slow slackening of his arm around his chest was any indication, End Waking slowly falling asleep.
+``So, similar to what you and Jonas did with the \emph{History}.''
 
-``E.W.?'' he whispered.
+There was the briefest flicker of a wince on the skunk's face at the mention of Jonas, quickly mastered. She replaced it with a smile and gave a hint of a bow. ``Yes. In a relatively short time, both have started to fade into a near mythical status. A credit to your skills as a writer, Mx. Bălan.''
 
-``Mm?'' A sleepy reply.
+Ey smiled warily. ``Thanks. Why, though?''
 
-``Do you still feel em? Like, at night sometimes. Like a dream or something.''
+``Why are they becoming myths?'' She shrugged. ``Life on the System is shaped by the modes of our existence. Creativity has assumed a level of primacy that was not feasible phys-side, and so successful creative works accelerate more quickly toward myth, here.''
 
-There was a long, long silence before the skunk replied. ``Sleep, my love. There is work to do in the morning. Sleep, and dream beautiful dreams.''
+Ey nodded. ``And you? What do you think of it?''
+
+``Of \emph{Perils}?''
+
+``That, the possible play, the events as a whole.''
+
+There was a moment of quiet as the skunk thought, brushing a paw over one of her knees to smooth out her slacks. ``With the understanding that there is much that I cannot tell you about my feelings on the proceedings, I found it all frustrating and unnerving. I worked with Qoheleth on several occasions throughout the years, and watching his\ldots I will not say decline, as I think the analogy does not hold, but his metamorphosis from Odist to Qoheleth touched on some primal distress. As I have said, I am not pleased with what happened or how. I liked him quite a bit.''
+
+This seemed to deserve another moment of silence, one of acknowledgement rather than thoughtfulness, and so ey let it play out, the muffled clatter of the rest of the cafe coming through the cone of silence suddenly much more present.
+
+``What news from Castor had you thinking about \emph{Perils}?''
+
+``I'm sorry?''
+
+``Well, I do not associate aliens or time modification or the\ldots ah, struggles that Answers Will Not Help experienced with what happened with Qoheleth.''
+
+Eir mind raced. How could ey possibly bring up the Name? That Codrin now knew it and that knowledge—at least at one layer of remove—had propagated through the clade? Surely she knew that, at least, but how could ey say that out loud to her?
+
+``Mx. Bălan?'' True Name was frowning, whether at eir silence or expression ey couldn't guess. ``I am guessing that the answer is complicated.''
+
+``It\ldots uh, yeah. What Codrin heard on Artemis\ldots I mean\ldots{}''
+
+The skunk tilted her head, gestured for em to continue.
+
+\emph{Doesn't she know?} ey thought. \emph{She has to. Is she faking it?}
+
+``Well,'' ey stammered, hastily backtracking through eir train of thought. Perhaps ey should feign ignorance as well if that was indeed what she was doing. ``All that about getting lost, and how fourthrace experienced similar and also dealt with long-term effects.''
+
+Still frowning, she nodded.
+
+``It was all bound up in some clade-eyes-only thoughts,'' ey hastened to add, hoping that the slight untruth would be enough. ``Eir worries about Dear, Death Itself\ldots but I don't want to say any more.''
+
+That seemed to have been enough, as the tenseness that had been building in her shoulders relaxed, though her frown remained. ``Of course, yes, I did not mean to press. My apologies.''
+
+Ey shook eir head and waved a hand. ``It's okay, I just had to disentangle all those thoughts really quickly.''
+
+``You are a very thoughtful person,'' she said, a hint of a smile creeping back onto her muzzle. ``In the common sense as well as in the sense that you seem to be at all times full of thoughts.''
+
+``I lost track of the number of times May's accused me of living up in my head a long time ago, yeah.''
+
+``There is no harm in it, my dear. It serves you well.'' She settled back against the couch once more and sighed. ``Pleasant as it has been, I have spent more time talking than intended. I would like to get a bit of work done before I lose track of the threads, if that is alright.''
+
+Ey smiled and nodded. ``Of course, True Name.''
+
+As the skunk's focus drifted away, ey opened eir notebook again and stared at what ey'd written already. The words were marks on the page, ey could tell, but eir mind was so wrapped up in the conversation that ey wasn't able to make sense of them. Too much had gone on in too short a timespan. All that talk of Qoheleth, of the conservatives' opinions of the events, or at least of True Name's.
+
+She'd been so candid about it all, just as she'd been growing more candid with em in general over the last few years. She had all the reason in the world to use her centuries of skills intentionally, though. Ey'd never met anyone so tightly in control of themself as her. Perhaps even now, dozens, hundreds of sensorium messages were flying across her stanza preparing a soft landing for eir play in light of the fact that others now knew the Name.
+
+And yet\ldots{}
+
+And yet ey couldn't stop emself from thinking, \emph{Holy shit, I don't think she knows.}