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+\chapter{Debarre — 2350}\label{debarre-2350}}
+\markboth{Debare — 2350}{}
 
-The next few days passed in relative peace. There were no fights between the two skunks, and while, at least once a day, they set up a cone of silence to talk about whatever it was that True Name had discussed that first time, there were no more instances of May falling apart or True Name wearing herself out quite so badly. The discussions sounded serious, and never quite friendly, but ey was at least somewhat happy to see the two talking without quite so much ire between them.
+The next few days after Ioan's visit and brief explanation about what had happened with True Name were full of long walks and longer silences. End Waking politely requested that Debarre remain behind for the majority of the walks.
 
-May wasn't the only one, either. At one point, Time Is A Finger Pointing At Itself and one of her up-tree instances, Where It Watches The Slow Hours Progress visited to talk with True Name. Both were far more earnest in their affection toward her, which she seemed to welcome with a sense of cautious relief. Ey supposed it made sense, given A Finger Pointing's habit of making friends with everyone she could.
+There was a sense in the air that the skunk wanted to ask him to leave again, to fall back into solitude and, though he'd never use the word around him, moping. He'd still talk, still hold up his end of the conversations, but always there would be a slight pause before speaking, always a bit more distance than usual, always something out in the forest that called to him just that much more strongly than the weasel before him.
 
-Ey'd only met Slow Hours once prior and, while she was just as friendly as her down-tree instance, she also seemed somewhat removed from the world as a whole, as though seeing just a little more than everyone around her. ``Clairvoyance,'' A Finger Pointing had whispered to em after that first introduction. ``She has the outline of the world.''
+It was never comfortable to be asked to leave one's partner. He knew the reasons, could understand the drive, but to build a relationship up over however many decades it was now, and yet still need to put it on hold for months or, on one occasion, years at a time still hurt.
 
-They talked for nearly three hours that afternoon, breaking only to get more water part way through. When they were finished, True Name looked wrung out, though not unhappy. A Finger Pointing mostly looked confused and concerned while Slow Hours kept her faraway, nearly delphic smile. Both were patterned after the human Michelle rather than the skunk Sasha, lending an additional layer of uncanniness in their similarities to May and True Name, even across species.
+He knew he had a temper, too. He'd spent the last centuries going all the way back to Cicero's death working on setting that aside when he could feel it getting too hot within him. He always worked his hardest at that around End Waking. He loved the skunk, wanted nothing but the best for him, and although he knew that End Waking was one of the more resilient Odists, he had also known Michelle far longer than\ldots well, just about anyone possibly could, now. Two and a half centuries was a long time to understand just how the other person processes pain and trauma, and he didn't want to add to any of the Odists' burden, having spent so long with them from the beginning. From before the beginning, in some senses.
 
-Curiouser and curiouser. Ey'd always pictured A Finger Pointing's stanza as one of the more liberal ones, and had early on noticed that the liberal Odists had largely distanced themselves from the more conservative ones. To have two of them specifically drop by to visit True Name was quite surprising.
+Well, except perhaps True Name.
 
-The most curious thing, though, had to be May.
+There were few enough people he hated in the world, though certainly a great many who grated on his nerves. True Name and her ilk, though, were universally among that number. He knew he could never hurt anyone, but, well, everyone had their fantasies. He knew he should never wish harm befall anyone, but some people\ldots{}
 
-It wasn't just that all the work she'd put into her feelings about her cocladist had seemingly paid off—other than a few tense moments, mostly silent, she was at worst distant and at best willing to hold conversations with True Name about a limited set of topics—but that even in those tensest moments, she seemed to at least want to do something. Whether it was out of an earnest desire to improve True Name's life or to simply get this situation over with seemed to vary depending on her mood.
+This latest development was putting this to the test.
 
-It was her discussions with End Waking that really knocked em off-kilter, though. Her visits to his forest sim came at least once a day, and it wasn't until the fourth that she was willing to share anything about their conversations.
+He'd continue the work on the cabin while End Waking went for his walks—they'd gotten the floor and stove in place, as well as the A-frame, but the canvas of the tent still needed to be strung, and he had a few ideas for improvements—and all the while, he'd swing steadily between the poles of feeling nauseous at the thought of one less fraction of his friend in the world, one more death of one of the lost, and wild fantasies of popping champagne upon hearing that her final instance had been destroyed.
 
-``Wait, what? End Waking wants to merge down? I can't even imagine that.''
+Part of him wondered if End Waking was going through the same. He wanted to ask, but didn't want to risk that pushing the skunk over into requesting that he leave with the tent not yet complete.
 
-``That is what we have been talking about, yes. I shared\ldots I mean, I told him what she told me, and it has changed things.''
+So, Debarre just kept working, kept fantasizing. He'd gotten the last of the canvas lashed down over the sides of the frame and was on to working on the front wall of the tent. At least there was productivity to lean on, even if he couldn't lean on his boyfriend at the moment.
 
-``Are you sure that's even a good idea?'' ey asked. ``I mean, won't that just make her feel worse if she also has to deal with all of that regret?''
+He jumped, startled out of work and reverie by two sensorium pings in short order. The first came from End Waking, the word `company' muttered quietly, and the second was a ping of arrival from the sim itself.
 
-May fiddled with the corner of the top sheet. They'd sat up in bed, the topic not feeling quite right for pillow-talk. ``Possibly, yes. I do not think that it would be permanently detrimental. If she has a fuller view of the world, perhaps she will be better able to engage with it with empathy.''
+With the new tent, End Waking had made the default entry point around a small rise from home, leaving it a short walk around—or a shorter but much steeper dash up and over—the ridge.
 
-Ey held eir gaze steady, frowning. ``I don't think you're giving her enough credit on the empathy front.''
+Debarre opted for the up and over, nearly tumbling down the other side of the hill to where the form knelt in the clearing. End Waking was just making his way through the trees on the opposite side, so they converged on the visitor at the same time.
 
-She clutched the sheet tightly in her fists, visibly counting to ten, then sighed. ``Yes. You are right, Ioan. I am primed to see less in her than you, I think.
+May Then My Name was sobbing. It looked as though she had been for a bit, too, judging by the mess of tear-tracks in the fur of her cheeks.
 
-``I know, May, I'm sorry,'' ey said, shaking eir head. ``I know it's complicated.''
+There wasn't much that he could think of to say, so he awkwardly shifted from a crouch to a kneeling position beside her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and gently tugging her against him. Although he rarely had reason to comfort May Then My Name in particular, it was familiar enough from all the way back at the Crown Pub when Sasha'd come back from some break-up or another.
 
-She smiled gratefully. ``Thank you, my dear. Let me rephrase and say that having that additional perspective will give her new tools to engage with the world.''
+``I will get water,'' End Waking murmured, leaving the physical comfort to someone better able to provide such.
 
-``Right, that I can see. Given what all has been going on, I'm pretty sure I agree, too, so long as it's consensual between the two of them. I just worry that now's not a good time for it. If she's distracted processing all that when she's supposed to be thinking about what to do about Jonas, won't that put her at a disadvantage?''
+Her cry must have been nearing its end before she arrived, as she'd settled down to sniffles by the time her cocladist arrived with an enamel mug of water and a damp rag.
 
-``I suppose,'' she mumbled, then smiled lopsidedly to em. ``But we have time, yes? Jonas said within the year, and I imagine\pagebreak\ it will take us at least a month to convince End Waking to join as requested.''
+``Can you drink, May Then My Name?'' he said gently.
 
-Ey sighed. ``I don't know if that's necessarily reason to do it so soon, though. You're right that we should take our time with the meeting and plan as best we can. I just worry about her going in there already a mess because of a ton of conflicts when she needs to be in the best shape she can be.''
+She nodded and accepted the mug with both paws to hold it steady, taking a few unsteady laps of the water before simply clutching it to her chest. ``Thank you,'' she croaked, freeing up a paw to use the damp rag to wipe her face. ``I am sorry for so dramatic an entrance.''
 
-``You are right, as always,'' she grumbled, slumping forward to use eir thigh as a pillow. ``Thank you for keeping me grounded.''
+``Hush. You are fine,'' End Waking said. ``Everything sounded quite dramatic indeed. Please take your time, and we can discuss it later.''
 
-Ey stroked over the skunk's head, toying with one of her ears until she batted at eir hand. ``I know I say it a lot, but you're a good person, May. So is End Waking. I think True Name having more of that will only help.''
+She nodded, slouched a little further against Debarre, and sighed shakily.
 
-``Do you think she is a good person?''
+He shot a quizzical look over to End Waking, who sent a brief sensorium ping in return. She must have explained a good bit more before arriving, then.
 
-``Mmhm.''
+They sat like that for another five minutes or so, another few bouts of tears hitting the skunk while he tried to be as steady as he could for her, petting over her ears and murmuring reassurances. She'd leaned on AwDae more often than she had on him, all those years ago, but a friend's shoulder was a friend's shoulder, and he'd always offered when he could. This was, he supposed, no different.
 
-``You answer so quickly. Is it that uncomplicated for you?''
+When she was finally able to pull herself together enough to walk, Debarre helped her to stand and the three of them made their way back to the tent. He sat her down on one of the two fallen tree trunks that had been set before the tent to either side of the fire pit, then took her mug to refill it while End Waking started a small fire. It wasn't that cold out, but warmth was warmth, comfort was comfort.
 
-Ey thought for a moment, still combing fingers through the longer fur on top of the skunk's head. ``I suppose. I'm not sure why, though. She's complicated, and I disagree with her reasoning for a lot of what she's done, but I don't think that makes her a bad person.''
+With the cup safely back in her paws, Debarre sat beside May Then My Name once more, arm around her shoulder. ``Feel up to talking about it?''
 
-May nodded.
+``Um, a little, maybe,'' the skunk said, voice raw. ``Just in general.''
 
-They stayed quiet until they worked their way under the covers again, cozying up for sleep, when May murmured, ``I have to believe that she is a good person, or at least capable of being one. For my sake, I have to at least try to believe that.''
+He nodded.
 
-Ey kissed the backs of her ears and shushed her to sleep.
+``True Name has been staying with us the last few days.''
 
-What kept coming back again and again was the feeling of just how small this project felt—if ey'd been assigned to it as amanuensis, might as well call it what it was. There were so few people involved. True Name and Jonas, then em, May, and End Waking on the periphery. Five people, three clades. It was intimate, in that sense. True Name and Jonas were larger-than-life\pagebreak\ most of the time, but having been forced into sharing space with her, ey was far more able to see the True Name of today as just someone caught up in a storm and Jonas as the force behind that storm.
+``Sounds miserable.
 
-And then there was emself, as powerless as Codrin\#Castor had felt almost four years back.
+She smiled halfheartedly. ``Ioan expanded the house out to the other side with a separate bedroom. She has been spending most of her time in there, doing whatever it is that she does. Perhaps she is still pulling strings somewhere, I do not know. I do not particularly care.''
 
-The next morning saw both of the skunks more relaxed than ey'd seen them yet. They talked pleasantly over breakfast, and True Name even stuck around, sitting on the couch and watching the snow melt off the balcony while May and Ioan worked, her on her monologue and em reading back through the volume of \emph{An Expanded History of Our World} that focused on the Council of Eight—and the Ode and Jonas clades—in the centuries after its dissolution.
+``I'm surprised you let her move in there,'' he said sourly.
 
-After lunch, True Name returned to the couch with a glass of water and, after a moment's hesitation, May had joined her.
+After a long pause, the skunk mumbled, ``It was my idea. I insisted, Ioan agreed.''
 
-``Why are you spending today out here?'' she asked, finally voicing a question ey'd kept to emself until now.
+``Why?'' End Waking asked from where he crouched beside the fire.
 
-``Honest answer or pithy one?''
+``I have incomplete thoughts. In terms of logistics, it made sense to have her where Jonas could not act against her.''
 
-``Both.''
+End Waking nodded. ``Yes, but why? Why did you not just let her build herself a new home? Leave her to her own devices until time, Jonas, or madness took her?''
 
-True Name laughed. ``The pithy one is that I am bored and lonely, and this seems to be my best bet at solving either. The honest answer is that I am bored and lonely and, even if the circumstances are not ideal, I want to at least try not to mope in my room all day as I am sorely tempted to.''
+May Then My Name averted her gaze. ``I do not want her to die. I do not want her gone.''
 
-``You've said you spend most of your time working interacting with your instances, yeah,'' Ioan said, turning eir desk chair to face the couch. ``I imagine it's been pretty quiet.''
+The other skunk went silent, staring at her for a long moment before getting back to building the fire up to a comfortable level.
 
-``Yes. My instances, some up-tree cocladists, instances of Jonas, those of my\ldots friends.'' The last word sounded almost bashful for reasons ey couldn't place. She shrugged and continued, ``And now I am without all of those. No instances, none of my up-tree cocladists are responding, I do not wish to speak with Jonas for obvious reasons, and the relationships I have with my friends are largely bound up in that.''
+``I'm guessing it's the non-logistical side of things that's complicated,'' Debarre said.
 
-May nodded. ``I do not know if we are the ideal company for you, given our interests, but at least we can try, I suppose.''
+``Yes. I seem to be cursed to think about her and after everything, I do not know why it is that I care about her.'' She sniffled and scrubbed her face with the rag as though to preemptively snap herself out of an oncoming wave of emotion. ``It has not been all that bad, really. Awkward, yes, but she spends most of her time in her room except at breakfast and dinner. Today, though, she requested to talk with me, and\ldots I cannot even begin to comprehend the specifics, but Jonas has\ldots ha-has been\ldots{}''
 
-``For which I am endlessly appreciative,'' True Name confirmed. ``Though I do still miss routine. Good company and productive company do not necessarily overlap.''
+Debarre rubbed at May Then My Name's back when that wave of emotion finally washed over her.
 
-``\,`\emph{Productive} company'?''
+``I am sorry, Debarre. It was a lot,'' she mumbled. ``Jonas has been playing her for centuries now. He has been structuring her life for her in such subtle ways that even she was not able to see it. She\ldots well, something happened a few years after launch. A trap of sorts. Jonas's plans hit all at once and she has been working under his thumb since then.''
 
-``You are very nice to be around. Both of you. It is productive for my mental health, perhaps, and nice to be able to rest, but it is not what I \emph{do}, May Then My Name. This is not who I am. I am not one to crash at her friends' place, however pleasant they may be.''
+They sat in silence for a bit, Debarre racing through various questions, rejecting each as too personal, too mean, too off-topic. Finally, he asked, ``So, why are you so upset?''
 
-Ioan could feel an argument brewing. What True Name was saying very likely was true: this wasn't who she was as a person, and now she had been knocked into some new setting. Ey suspected May knew that, even. Ey could see the skunk working on keeping an open expression, despite her cocladist's indelicate wording. Still, there was a thin line to be crossed, and they were edging closer.
+``That is where the specifics I cannot mention lay. Beyond that, though, I am just\ldots torn. I am torn. I want to kick her out. I want to invite Jonas over and have him bring his pet assassin. I want her to disappear into ignominy.'' She took a deep breath, continued, ``But I also want her to get out of this mess. I may not want her around, but I want her to find something—anything—else to do with her life and to not have to deal with that living, breathing sack of shit anymore. No one should have to deal with that.''
 
-``Well, it's better than being assassinated, right?'' ey said, trying to lighten the mood.
+``E.W. said he needed to be better than her. Sort of like that?''
 
-May grinned. True Name did not.
+She shrugged. ``I do not know. It does not feel accurate for me to say that, but I cannot explain why.''
 
-``Sorry, probably still a bit too soon.''
+``Well,'' he said, waving the point away. ``I'm with you on the feeling torn bit, at least. Was just thinking about that when you showed up. Like, would I celebrate if she died? Or would I feel like there was just that much less of you around?''
 
-``Perhaps. I would rather be alive here than not alive at all, but it is not an ideal situation for any of us, I think, yes?''
+``You think about it from the outside, my love,'' End Waking said. ``You think about who we were. You have the capacity to do so. May Then My Name and I have diverged so far from True Name that she has become a new entity, and I do not think that we can so easily see Sasha in her.''
 
-May averted her gaze, but nodded all the same.
+May Then My Name nodded toward End Waking. ``And that is the source of at least some of my resentment towards her. I cannot see Sasha in her, and yet I was created from her. I see that of Sasha in myself, the caring side of her who got lost looking for lost friends, and while I can \emph{remember} those few years that I was True Name, I am not that person. I do not feel like I ever was that person. Becoming me was waking up from a dream.''
 
-``My apologies, you two,'' True Name said with a hint of a bow. ``I am restless and anxious. I do not want to meet with Jonas. I do not want to stay in hiding. I do not want to go back to being overworked, but I am unhappy having no work. Call it an addiction, if you will, but I am nothing if I am not True Name.'' She bared her teeth in a bitter sneer and, as she continued, her words came faster, hotter, more frustrated. ``And why should I not be? I have worked hard to become myself. That I am what I am and unrepentant of that is perhaps a disappointment to many, but it means more to me to stick to what I believe to be true than to--''
+``A nightmare, perhaps,'' the other skunk murmured.
 
-``True Name,'' May said, interrupting the other skunk's tirade. ``Wait.''
+``You and I have different resentments. I would say an unnerving dream that makes me all the happier to be what I am now.''
 
-Wrong footed, True Name frowned. ``What? Why? I do not--''
+``You are a better person than I.''
 
-May held up her paw, a brief glance at the ceiling hinting at a sensorium message elsewhere.
+Debarre threw a twig at his boyfriend. ``No moping. You're both good people. Jury's out on True Name, but given that you two get so fucking upset whenever she's around, I'm leaning towards not so good.''
 
-Ioan frowned as well. Intuition told em the discussion they'd had earlier was quickly moving beyond hypothetical. ``May, are you sure--''
+End Waking smiled. It was slight, but he was pleased to see it all the same.
 
-True Name jolted upright in her seat on the couch. ``What the fuck is--''
+``Qoheleth, poor, stupid man that he was, had much that he was correct about, but one thing that he completely failed to understand was growth,'' May Then My Name mused. ``There is plenty of growth, here. That is perhaps the one thing we have more than memory, the one thing that protects us from too much memory. All that time may still drive us mad, but at least we have the ability to grow to the point where we are no longer True Name.''
 
-``Accept it,'' May said, and ey could see the full force of all her centuries of earnestness focused on her cocladist; earnestness, kindness, the right tone, the perfect cant of ears and bristle of whiskers, all of it fine tuned to show her just what she needed to see. ``It will only help, True Name.''
+``A-fucking-men.''
 
-Her face contorting with the strain of holding what must be a very large high-priority merge from End Waking at bay without either remembering or forgetting it, True Name gasped. ``May\ldots{} May Then\ldots{} Why\ldots{}''
+She laughed. ``Right? Thank you two for talking, though. I know it is not really a pleasant topic, but it has helped me immensely.''
 
-May's expression softened further, picking up a hopeful smile. ``Please, my dear. I think you need this. I think we \emph{all} need this, if we are to move forward, if you are to be able to move past what Jonas wants of you. Please accept. Please.''
+Debarre squeezed her around the shoulders. ``Of course, skunk.''
 
-True Name nodded shakily, attempted a dry swallow, and then let End Waking's centuries of memories crash into her.
+``You feel so much more than I do,'' End Waking said. ``So I cannot understand the ways in which you are torn. There is also much more than I think you are saying--''
 
-The change was immediate and more dramatic than ey'd anticipated. Ey had been expecting a shell-shocked look and maybe a few minutes of silence, but instead True Name's expression melted into a glazed, ischemic stupor. The glass of water she'd been clutching but had yet to drink tumbled to the floor and, as all her muscles gave out at once, she began to slide off the couch.
+``There is, yes. Sorry.''
 
-``Shit. Shit! Ioan!'' May shouted.
+``--and so I cannot offer much in the way of advice, but I can welcome you to my forest and offer you company and a meal. Will you be staying for dinner?''
 
-Ey was already on eir feet and halfway around the table, thankfully in time to catch the skunk before she slid down into the pool of water on the floor. Ey managed to get eir arms under hers enough to hoist her up into the couch again while May ducked around to lift her feet so that they could lay her out on her back.
+``I would like to, yes.'' She hesitated, then added, ``True Name has joined us for dinner these last few days, and I would like a break.''
 
-They both stared down at her.
+``Are you opposed to an early dinner, Debarre?''
 
-``Fuck,'' May whispered.
+``\,'Course not. If you cook, May Then My Name and I can get the cot in the tent.
 
-``What just happened?''
+They broke from there. May Then My Name forked several times over to help him in repopulating the inside of the tent with the necessities while End Waking made venison cutlets and savory corn griddle cakes.
 
-``One moment,'' she said, waving away the spilled water so that she could kneel by the couch. There was a moment's hesitation before she brushed some of the skunk's longer head fur away from her face. ``Can you close your eyes?''
+``There's still a lot we need to do in here, so we can't drag everything in yet,'' the weasel explained as they returned to where End Waking's goods were stored under a canvas tarp. ``But getting a few essentials in here will help in the meantime. Hopefully just a few more days and we'll be all set again. I think E.W. may kick me out at that point.''
 
-When True Name didn't respond, didn't move, May gently brushed her paw down to close them for her. She leaned closer, whispering a few more questions ey could not hear, though there was still no response.
+``So soon?''
 
-After lingering a moment longer, she stood shakily, took Ioan's hand in her paw and led em to the balcony despite the cold. As soon as the door shut behind them, she burst into tears.
+``He called me back in the middle of a solitary spell, remember?''
 
-Ey guided her carefully to the bench swing to sit her down, letting her cry herself out against eir shoulder.
+She nodded. ``Well, yes, but I had hoped that\ldots well, I am sorry, Debarre. I imagine it must be difficult.''
 
-``I am sorry, my dear,'' she said when she could speak again at last. ``Really, truly sorry.''
+``A little. I miss him when I'm gone, but I usually merge back down and get to focusing on whatever \#Tracker is up to, then re-fork when he's up to having me around again.''
 
-Ey shook eir head, kissing her between the ears. ``You don't need to apologize to me. Is she alright?''
+``We are different in that respect, I guess. If Ioan requested six months away from me I think I would have a pretty rough time of it.''
 
-``She should be,'' she mumbled.
+He laughed and ruffled a paw over her ears. ``I think you'd fucking explode. Thankfully, ey doesn't seem like the type.''
 
-``Alright. I'm more confused than anything. Was that your and End Waking's plan?''
+She nodded gratefully. ``Ey does not, no. I am just sorry that I was too heated to stick around and talk with em about this. Thank you again, Debarre. I needed to talk about it, just with someone who has an appropriate distance from the topic. I cannot overstate how terrifying what she said was.''
 
-She pressed closer to em. ``That was him merging back down, yes. We have been discussing it for days, now. I did not expect that, though,'' she said, and ey could hear that she was on the verge of crying once more. ``I never intended to hurt her.''
+``Uh, of course, May Then My Name. Can you tell me any more about it?''
 
-``Can you explain what happened, at least?''
+``Perhaps over dinner, my dear. I need food, and I need to talk to your boyfriend.''
 
-She nodded, swallowing down that wave of tears as best she could. ``We are good at forking and merging. Very, \emph{very} good at it. I am pretty sure you know that, though.''
+Dinner, it turned out, was not long in coming. Well-seasoned deer and griddle cakes cooked in the grease. ``I have made them with too much salt just for you, May Then My Name,'' he said with a polite bow.
 
-``Did something go wrong, then?''
+She stuck her tongue out at him. ``Much appreciated. It tastes almost like normal food.''
 
-``End Waking has not merged down in more than a century and a half. Even when she merged down when Michelle quit, all she had to do was let the memories fall onto her and then quit herself. He has diverged quite far in that time, as is to be expected, which means the potential for conflicts.''
+He made a rude gesture at her, but grinned all the same.
 
-Eir frown deepened. Ey thought ey could tell where this was going. ``Aren't those usually just when memories don't line up, though?''
+``So,'' Debarre said between bites. ``Anything else you can tell us about what True Name said?''
 
-May gave the barest hint of a shrug against em. ``You have met her, and you have met him. Their viewpoints are almost diametrically opposed, yes?''
+The other skunk stacked a bite of griddle cake on top of a bite of venison and chewed thoughtfully. At last, she sighed,\linebreak~saying, ``I do not want to talk about too much of it, not aloud. It is too close to the surface as yet and I will turn into a sobbing\pagebreak~mess. Again, I mean.''
 
-Ey nodded.
+``Of course, no rush.''
 
-``Viewpoints are built atop a collection of memories. That they can share so many memories and yet have such different outlooks on the world and their actions is a subtler, but trickier sort of merge conflict.'' She paused, took a deep breath, then continued slowly. ``I pressed her to accept because I knew that she would accept the merge as smoothly as she always does if there was external pressure. She merged blithely and took on 156 years of End Waking all at once. All of his memories. All of his penance. All of his loathing for what he did, what she was so proud of.''
+``Right. Well, Jonas got her involved with something in the late 2130s. It was sort of a side\ldots thing, very hush-hush but it still has taken up at least a small part of her attention ever since. It was all very low-level stuff—low enough that it flew beneath even her radar—and I guess after Launch, he dropped it all on her in a meeting similar to what he had promised for Secession day. All that time had turned into a lever to use against her, and I think that, whether she realizes it or not, relatively little has been done of her own accord since then here on Lagrange.''
 
-``And it was too much?'' ey asked.
+Debarre nodded, waiting for her to say more, to which she eventually shook her head. ``I am sorry. I need at least a few days to be able to process it. I cannot even think about it without wanting to\ldots I do not know. I want to quit and force a merge on her. I want \emph{you} to force a merge on her,'' she said, nodding to End Waking. ``I want her to know something other than herself.''
 
-Her face screwed up again as she nodded. ``I nuh-never wanted t-to hur-hurt her,'' she stammered as the tears started to flow once more.
+The skunk sat up straighter. ``So you have hinted, yes. Why, though? Why would you want her to feel that resentment? Why do you think she would be able to internalize my penance? Why the fuck do you--''
 
-Ey got eir arms around her again and held her close. A quick glance through the windows showed that True Name still lay on the couch, breathing shallowly.
+``E.W.,'' Debarre murmured. ``Cool it.''
 
-``May, I want to ask you something,'' ey said, once she had calmed down. ``And\ldots well, I think it'll probably make you cry again, but I want to make sure we stay open about this. Is that okay?''
+He tugged his hood down lower over his head and stayed silent for several seconds. ``I am sorry, May Then My Name. I did not mean to yell. It is just that I worked hard at getting where I am now, and if she is to feel any—\emph{any}—remorse about what she has done with her life, I would like for her to come by it honestly, and if she does not, then I would like her to face the consequences of her actions.''
 
-She whined quietly, but nodded all the same.
+``I do at least understand that,'' May Then My Name said cautiously. She had shied away from her cocladist at the force of his words, but the apology and explanation drew her back. ``You do not need to answer now, or ever for that matter, but is it something you would at least consider?''
 
-Ey took a deep breath, keeping eir voice as gentle as ey could. ``I'm not upset with you, but I need to know since this is just getting weirder and weirder. Are you sure you didn't want to hurt her?''
+``Perhaps. I do not feel the need to engage with her as you seem to, but there is little enough engagement in merging down. If I had not made my rejection of what she is a part of my identity, if I could let that go, then I would rescind my membership from the clade just to sever what ties of association remain.''
 
-There was a long silence before she replied. Ey watched her count her breaths, one of the exercises that had worked best to ground her. At least, she counted as best she could between sniffles.
+``Would you just be End Waking of no clade, then?''
 
-``I think,'' she started, then cleared her throat. ``I \emph{know} a part of me was acting out of vengeance.''
+``Perhaps I would just call myself E.W., my love.''
 
-Ey nodded. ``We've talked about that, yeah.''
+Debarre grinned. ``Excellent.''
 
-``Right. I think that part was hoping that it would be a rough merge to knock her down a peg, yes,'' she said, then let out a shaky sigh. She was starting to shiver from the cold. ``I did not think it would be this bad, though. I am really sorry, Ioan. I want to be a good person.''
+``You two are disgusting,'' May Then My Name said. ``Please keep up the good work.''
 
-Hugging her tightly to em, ey said, ``It's okay, May. We'll just have to see what comes of it.''
+``You're one to talk, smartass. You and Ioan could make my teeth rot.''
 
-She nodded, fell back into breathing exercises.
+``I have em well trained, do I not? Perhaps I will make em an honorary member of the clade in your stead.''
 
-``And I believe you when you say you didn't want to hurt her. Both those--''
+End Waking smirked. ``Would ey take my name, then?''
 
-She elbowed em in the side. ``Yes, yes. Both can be true at once. You know we have the same therapist, right? She says the same things to me.''
+``No, we would have to give em a similarly Odist name. Some silly line of poetry, a few nonsense words smashed together. Gentle Confusion or something.''
 
-Ey smiled, pleased to hear the humor in her voice. ``Sorry, May.''
+They laughed.
 
-She wormed her arms around em to give a tight squeeze. ``It is alright. You are just a nerd. Both of those things can be true, too.'' After a moment's hesitation, she asked more quietly, ``Can you see her? Is she okay?''
+``Where I Am Overcome By Gentle Confusion of the Ode-Bălan clade,'' Debarre said. ``And I'd be something like Even Real Shitheads Know Their Dreams.''
 
-``She's rolled onto her side. Still breathing pretty quick.''
+May Then My Name flicked a crumb of griddle cake at him. ``Good job on the first name, not so much on the second. I do not think it fits the tone very well, even if you are a bit of a shithead.''
 
-May nodded, wiping at her face, though it did little to help her disheveled look. ``Let us get back in and check on her, then. We may want to get her into bed. Being comfortable can make it easier.''
-
-``True Name?'' ey murmured once ey'd crouched beside her. ``Can you make it to your room?''
-
-Her eyes remained closed, flicking about beneath her eyelids. There was the tiniest shake of her head.
-
-Ey looked to May, who only watched anxiously, wringing her paws.
-
-Oh well, ey'd lifted eir partner on more than one occasion, ey supposed this wouldn't be too different. Ey slipped eir arms beneath the skunk, though she remained limp. Through a bit of shifting, ey was eventually able to get her leaned against eir chest, head on eir shoulder rather than lolling back, gaining enough leverage to be able to lift her. She was a little lighter, but when ey lifted May, she usually got her arms around eir shoulders, too.
-
-Ey was able to get her into bed easily enough, May holding the covers back while ey did so and then draping them back over her after.
-
-It was eir turn to stand awkwardly by while May sat beside True Name and brushed a paw over her head. ``I am sorry, my dear, I thought\ldots{}'' she started, then sighed. ``I will sit with you. I am sorry.''
-
-Ioan backed slowly out of the room, sliding the door shut quietly behind em. May sounded on the verge of tears once more, but, of all the things ey was not supposed to fix, perhaps least able to fix, this certainly felt like the top of the list.
+``Confirmation at last,'' End Waking said dreamily.