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\begin{center}\rule{0.5\linewidth}{0.5pt}\end{center}
The stream of Odists who came to visit Sasha in the days and weeks after the excursion to Jonas's was surprising. They seem to have accepted her change in identity far easier than expected. There were no instances of deadnaming (unless they were specifically talking about her past as True Name, as requested), no fights, no arguments.
Sleep was the first obstacle they ran into.
Not everyone was happy, to be sure. Many of the discussions from those who stopped by were quite serious and, even though many took place in cones of silence, Ioan could easily guess that there was much in the way of airing of grievances. As far as ey could tell, though, it was done with an eye towards catharsis and reconciliation.
While True Name had, at one point, sat up long enough to drink half a glass of water, she had yet to leave the bed, and with her still down for the count, the instance of May that had remained was unwilling to leave her side, even for dinner, which she declined.
Serene, for instance, came over the day after the whole kerfuffle, surprising the three of them well into the evening. They'd settled for a middle ground of dinner out on the extended balcony—close enough to the house for them to cook a proper dinner without leaving Sasha feeling cooped up inside—when the ping against their sensoria caused the three to jolt as one.
``You don't think sleeping with her will be enough to keep you comfortable through the night?''
``That will be Serene!'' May said excitedly, setting her half-finished plate down and hopping to her feet. ``I opened the ACLs to a few, hope you do not mind.''
She rolled her eyes and poked em in the stomach with a dull claw. ``It is not just that I do not want to sleep alone. I want to sleep with you.''
``Opened-- wait, when?'' Ioan asked, setting eir own plate down. ``And to how many?''
Ioan blinked, laughed, and rubbed at the back of eir neck. ``Right, sorry, I guess I've been stuck on logistics mode for a bit.''
But the skunk was already gone, bounding inside to greet the fox with a hug and excited chattering.
``Is this not emotional?''
Ioan and Sasha followed more sedately, both waiting until May had gotten her greeting out of the way before bowing to Serene.
``It is! I'm just\ldots overwhelmed or something.''
``Ioan, a pleasure! It has been too long,'' she said, grinning widely. The grin faded, and she nodded to the spotted skunk. ``And Sasha.''
May nodded and looped her arms up around eir shoulders. ``That much I understand, my dear.''
``Serene, thank you for stopping by. I was not expecting to see you so soon.''
``Would it make sense if I added a cot or something in there? I could at least sleep nearby.''
``I do not imagine so. May Then My Name has been conspiring behind the scenes, so this was all worked out ahead of time.''
She perked up and tilted her head. ``One moment. Or\ldots well, come with me.''
``Oh? How cheeky,'' Sasha said, laughing. ``Were you really that confident that everything would work out, dear?''
May led em to True Name's room where the skunk was slouched over on the bed, head resting in the other instance of May's lap, the two of them tucked into the nest of pillows in the corner.
May shook her head. ``Reasonably confident, but I want Arrowhead Lake back no matter what, so I arranged for us a little meeting.''
``Let me reduce--'' The May who had stayed with Ioan quit, leaving the other instance of her to quickly incorporate the merge and continue, ``--conflicts. True Name, are you able to speak?''
``Skunks, I swear.'' Ioan shook eir head. ``Well, welcome all the same. We've got pasta, if you'd like.''
The answer was a long time coming. ``Some,'' she croaked.
Once she'd heaped a plate high with food, Serene followed them out onto the balcony to join them for the rest of their meal. She wrinkled her nose at the sight of the plain. ``I suppose this was the best one could do on short notice, yes?''
May nodded. ``I am not going to leave, but it is getting close to bedtime. I am also not comfortable not being near Ioan. May ey sleep in here with us?''
``It wasn't too much, and it fit the need, yeah.''
True Name slowly rolled her head to the side enough to squint at Ioan through one eye. Her cheek-fur was a mess of tear tracks. ``Ioan?''
``It has served its purpose,'' Sasha said. ``And it is not so bad close up. A little too flat, perhaps, but the river is nice.''
``I can make a cot by the bed,'' ey said, then laughed. ``Or just another, smaller bed, I guess. No need to make one of those uncomfortable things.''
Serene nodded and finished a mouthful of food before setting her fork down again. ``I have at least come bearing a gift.''
She slowly pushed herself up to a sitting position, though she remained half-slouched against May. ``Can you\ldots make the bed bigger?''
``Did you find your student?''
``Well, I mean\ldots{}'' ey shrugged helplessly, looking to May.
``Yes. He was still about, though he has\ldots changed much in the intervening years. He was not as pleased to see me as I might have liked.''
The skunk tilted her head back against the wall, looking up to the ceiling thoughtfully. ``I do not see why not, I suppose,'' she said, sounding distant.
Sasha dipped her snout. ``I am assuming that he has picked up on the sentiment surrounding the clade.''
``Worried?'' True Name mumbled.
Serene nodded. ``He read the \emph{History} and came to the same conclusion that the rest of the System did. Our name is not mud, but, my dear, relationships changed after that knowledge became public.''
Ioan shifted eir weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other. ``I just, uh,'' ey stammered. ``I don't want to make things weird. I can't even imagine all you're going through.''
``I understand.''
True Name laughed hoarsely. ``It is not a comfortable\ldots time for us, no.'' She sighed, sat up further, and rubbed at her face. ``Preference\ldots make bed larger and join\ldots second choice, other bed.''
``I do not want to hear you say that you are sorry, Sasha. I do not think that is how this works as you are now, not for me. I do not want to hear your justifications and explanations; I can understand them as well as anyone. I just want to hear your acknowledgement.''
Ey nodded. ``I can make the bed bigger. Should I make a second set of covers?''
After setting her plate and fork down on the low table again, Sasha folded her paws in her lap, sat for a moment in silence, then said, ``For as much as I tried to do—for as much as Jonas and I both tried to do—I do not think we had nearly the effect on the world around us we thought we did, not on the grand scale. We played our games of politics and influence, but it was a game of relationships from start to finish, you are correct. True Name changed relationships. May Then My Name changed relationships. E.W. played his part. I do not know if it was for the better or the worse, but I do acknowledge that it made a good many of them far more difficult.''
She swallowed several times in a row, a sign of tears to come ey well knew from May. ``Can I ask\ldots can you two\ldots{}''
``Well, okay. Perhaps one apology.''
May got her arms around the skunk and shushed her gently. ``We will work it out.''
``I am sorry, Serene; Sustained And Sustaining.''
Ioan hesitated a moment longer before willing the bed to expand another half meter in width. A second set of covers and pillows spooled themselves out onto it as well, just in case.
There was another moment of silence, then Serene's wild grin returned. ``Well, that felt good. Praiseworthy did all that shit, too, so, fuck it. Let me finish my food and I will fuck your sim up but good.''
Ey paced back and forth a few times, shook eir head, then waved a hand again to bring a set of pajamas into being on the bed. Sleeping in eir usual dress of a pair of boxers didn't seem quite appropriate at the moment.
Ioan blinked, looking between skunk and fennec. ``Wait, that simple?''
May blinked down at the clothes, giggled quietly, and shook her head. \emph{``You are such a nerd,''} she subvocalized through a sensorium message so as not to disturb True Name. \emph{``It is a good idea, but you are a total nerd.''}
``Of course, my dear,'' Serene said around a mouthful of pasta. ``I already told you of my thoughts on the matter. I have done my processing.''
Ey shrugged helplessly, gathered up the loose lounge pants and shirt to go change.
``And now you cannot simply say something about skunks being brats,'' May chimed in. ``Though I am pretty sure we all knew that foxes were, too.''
\emph{``I have no clue how tired I even am,''} ey sent once ey returned. \emph{``Or if I'll even be able to sleep here.''}
Serene made a rude gesture, still grinning.
\emph{``If you need to sneak off to sleep in our bed, you can.''}
Once they'd finished dinner, Serene stood, stretched, and then leaned against the balcony railing staring out over the plain. Her expression was calm, pleasant, though focused on something ey couldn't see. ``Ioan, I will need ACLs over at least the exterior, including your yard, though I will do my best to keep it intact.''
\emph{``I'm} also \emph{unwilling to sleep without you, so\ldots``}
Ey nodded, focused, and made the grant.
Her expression softened. She tilted her muzzle down to whisper something to True Name, and when she received a nod in response, she signed \emph{okay} and patted the bed to invite em up.
``Thank you. Now, you may stay out here and watch, but I warn you that it can be a bit dizzy-making.''
Ey nodded and climbed onto the (now much larger) bed so ey could settle down beside May in the nook of pillows. Getting eir arm around her, ey let her rest her head on eir shoulder. It was a little awkward with True Name still slouched against her side, but it worked well enough.
Ey exchanged glances with the two skunks and shrugged. ``I think we're all eager to see.''
\emph{``I'm surprised she's so\ldots physical,''} ey sent.
``Suit yourself. It was your dinner. Thank you, by the way.''
\emph{``She was not, at first, but I suspect she is working her way from past to present. She slowly got closer and closer as she learned how I did the same.''}
There was no further announcement. Nor, even, any change in Serene. She still looked out over the railing with a dreamy, far away look on her face even as the world dropped out beneath them.
It made sense, at least. Whenever ey'd dealt with a longer merge—eir longest had been around thirteen months, and a particularly boring project at that—it always felt like the memories were interleaving themselves in with the ones ey already had, histories slowly zippering themselves into consensus. Conflicts, then, were the snags one encountered along the way, and one would have to dump energy into either reconciling or discarding memories. It was a very consuming task, and that True Name had been able to speak at all was far more than ey could have done.
The plain rippled and flexed, arching up high to the sky as though stretching after a long nap. Trees pried their way from the soil. Rocks broke free from the land. The river—the one immediately before them, at least—collapsed into itself to form a wide lake. The rest of the distant echoed versions of the plain where not occupied by the immediate mountains crinkled into some more complex geometry, the remainder of the range echoed outside the valley.
\emph{``Think it's overriding the bits of her and End Waking that aren't keen on touch?''} ey asked.
It \emph{was} a little vertigo-inducing, too. The worst of it wasn't due to the sudden change in the shape of the landscape, but in just how, well\ldots serene it all was. The river shaping itself into the lake was not accompanied by some grand splashing of waves, but simply the remaking of the water. There were no falling rocks or grand earthquakes, just the reshaping of the world. The light shifted. Gravity swayed, settled. All of it was silent, anechoic.
\emph{``Must be.''}
And then it was done.
\emph{``How are you doing with it?''}
``H-holy fuck,'' ey managed, clutching at the railing of the balcony. Both May and Sasha stood defiantly against the change, though neither looked as casual as the fox.
She sighed, at which True Name squinted up to her, then over to Ioan, offering a weak smile before settling back into processing.
``I have set your house up the hill a ways from the default entry point to the old sim. That it was already on stilts proved quite useful. The angle of the sun may be a bit different, but not so much as to be a problem,'' she said, gesturing them down the steps from Sasha's side of the balcony. They landed on a flagstone pad set into the bed of pine needles, a small trail winding its way down the slope toward the water. She gestured toward the small ridge that rose next to them. ``I had to modify the terrain a little bit to keep your yard level. You should be okay, but if you run into erosion problems, do let me know. I have been told of your affinity for weather, Ioan.''
\emph{``I do not know, my dear. It has activated all of my care instincts, so I am happy to make her comfortable in all of the ways I know how. It helps, then, that those are all of the ways she knows now, too, or at least is learning. If I focus on that, I feel very positive. It is only when I get distracted and ruminating that I begin to spiral. It is more comfortable for me to focus on caring for someone now than it is to think about boundaries or Zacharias or Jonas.''}
Sure enough, the fence remained level, wrapping around a small rectangle of hidden grass and dandelions, the tops of lilac bushes overflowing.
Ey kissed between May's ears, murmuring, ``You're a good person, May.''
The path teed with the long familiar deer trail that wound around the lake, and, out of habit, they all started down towards the rock.
The skunk lifted her snout to tuck it up under eir chin.
``Fauna?'' Serene asked.
``You two\ldots are disgusting,'' True Name mumbled. ``Keep it up.''
``Please.'' Sasha smiled sheepishly. ``I would not like a repeat of that particular mistake.''
May laughed and tightened her grip around her briefly. ``Hush, you. We will work on going to bed soon. I hope that you can get some sleep.''
Grinning and nodding, Serene kept up her steady pace, humming a little under her breath. There was no change that ey could see, though ey imagined her counting deer, rabbits, squirrels, and birds into existence.
She only shrugged.
For eir part, ey simply walked, hand in paw with May, and marveled. Ey'd discovered the lake decades ago, had spent countless days out here on walks, and at least one night camping. Still, it felt somehow new. Ey was rediscovering this place that ey'd not seen in months—though ey'd spent longer stints away from it in the past—and marveling at the detail all over again. A glance back over eir shoulder showed eir flat-roofed house peeking shyly from amid the trees, but other than that, it was, ey assumed, the same as it had been.
``Well, either way, I will let you keep the corner nest and be right here. Ioan can take the outside.''
After so long away and after so much stress it felt all the more real.
``Keeping em\ldots away?''
They sat on the rock near the end of the lake and enjoyed the last of the sun. It was a little tight for four, but May tucked quite nicely up against eir side and Sasha, having slipped more into an E.W. mindset, had settled off to the side. She looked antsy, and ey suspected she'd request time to hike soon enough.
May frowned. ``I am keeping myself close to you.''
``How is the rest of the clade taking this?'' she asked. ``I sent a clade-wide message, but have not received responses.''
``I kid. I have not\ldots even gotten there, yet,'' True Name said, slowly pushing herself up once more and frowning at just how far away the glass of water was. Ioan leaned forward to grab it for her. She drank carefully. ``But if it\ldots also keeps awkwardness down\ldots that is good, too.''
Serene looked up from where she was investigating a few pine needles plucked from a branch on the way over with a discriminating eye. ``I think that reactions will be largely positive even if they are not universally so. Several of my stanza have been been talking, and many feel as I do. It is fine, I am sure, and I have processed what I needed to and gotten what I wanted.''
Ioan accepted the glass from her once she finished, re-filling it from the pitcher they'd brought in and setting it on the windowsill near the nook so that she could get to it herself. ``We can talk about that later. For now, I think it'll work alright.''
``Of course. I have been abandoned by the rest of my stanza, but at this point, the larger part of me does not want to have anything to do with them, anyway. I do not imagine Loss For Images and her ilk will take it well. I do hope that A Finger Pointing and I will have a chance to speak soon, as I am now enough May that I would enjoy attending a play or two.''
True Name nodded and settled down into her nest of pillows.
``\,`May'?'' Serene said, tiling her head and looking to the other skunk. ``Have you forgiven her, then?''
May and Ioan stayed up a little longer, chatting through sensorium messages to let True Name process in peace. Cognizant of her mention that she felt better when not thinking about boundaries, ey kept the topics light, asking about favorite things and letting her rant about plays from her past that she'd hated.
May nodded. ``Forgiven is maybe not the best word. I have internalized the way things are and accepted the way things were. I am pleased to know Sasha and who she has become.''
Nearly an hour later, just as May started to nod off, True Name yelped and sat up, scrambling back against the wall away from them. ``You know!'' she shouted. ``Codrin knows!''
The other skunk smiled faintly, nodded. ``Though for all Ioan talked about trying to fix things, I place the largest part of who I have become on you, dear.''
It took only a moment for understanding to click into place. Both ey and May sat up to give her a bit more space.
``I wasn't going to say anything,'' Ioan said, grinning.
``Hush, my dear,'' May said, voice soothing. ``It is okay. Remember Dear's letter.''
May elbowed em in the side. ``Hush, you.''
``I\ldots I cannot-- It is too much!''
``I will not laugh at you two too much, then.'' Serene laughed anyway, though not unkindly. ``What are your plans moving forward? I trust that you are essentially locked out of what you were working on as True Name.''
Ioan held still, hands flat on eir thighs. The urge to wipe the sweat from eir palms was pressing against em, but ey wanted to at least appear calm, even if ey didn't feel such.
``Yes, and while there is a part of me that remains disappointed about this outcome, there is little to be done about it but move forward.'' Sasha brought her tail around to her lap to brush it out. It was shorter than a striped skunk's tail, it seemed, and less thickly furred. ``I will take a vacation, first. I will sleep a normal amount. I will eat good food. I will wear myself out on the hunt and take what comfort I can while I remain here. I will rest, and then I will write.''
May began to crawl towards True Name, then stopped when her cocladist shied away from her. ``Codrin has not spoken it aloud, not even with True Name\#Castor. I confirmed with Dear: ey only said \emph{that} ey heard it, and that is all that ey told Ioan.''
``Write? Really?''
She snatched a pillow from the pile and clutched it to her chest, wide-eyed. ``Why?''
``Yes. I must be careful not to be seen as overtly influencing lest I bring on Jonas's ire, but I would like to share the story of the last few centuries from my point of view. I do not know who will be interested except perhaps our two clades, but I will write.''
``Ey couldn't be the only one,'' Ioan said quietly. ``We don't do as well under pressure as you, we don't\ldots well\ldots{}''
``Well, if it's anything like the \emph{History},'' Ioan said, ``it'll wind up wildly popular and then fade into part of the mythos of the System.''
``Keep secrets?'' she growled.
May grinned. ``And all will be as it should.''
May held up her paws disarmingly. ``They keep secrets very well. They just do not keep many.''
``Of course. I will not complain. So long as I am better able to understand who I have become and fill my time with something fulfilling, then I will be happy.''
She glanced sharply at May, then said to Ioan, ``Ey did not tell you the Name? No one else knows?''
``\emph{Will} you be happy?'' Serene asked.
``No.~The message was individual-eyes-only. I haven't even shown May.'' After a moment's thought, ey added, ``But I can unlock it for you, if you want. It's in an exo I haven't looked at since.''
There was a long silence as Sasha finished brushing out her tail and spent a few minutes simply staring across the lake, perhaps mapping the opposite shore and marking spots for future exploration.
``Sweep the whole sim,'' she snapped.
Finally, she said, ``I think that I will be. I am of three minds and will ever be such. I will have moments of happiness, moments of sadness and terror and regret, but they will ever be in thirds.''
Ey nodded, swept the sim of everyone but the three of them, and instructed the perisystem architecture to print out the \emph{0 individuals swept} receipt onto a slip of foolscap, which ey handed over.
``Are you okay with that?''
``Move back, May Then My Name,'' she instructed, quieter this time. When May obliged, the skunk crawled closer to em and set up a cone of silence with secure visual ACLs. She was panting and shaking, though ey was pleased to see that at least the anger that had swelled briefly had subsided once more into something more manageable. Ey didn't think any of them were up for a shouting match. Once she'd knelt beside em, she whispered, ``Show me.''
Sasha stood and stretched, finally turning her gaze back to them. ``Himself has but to will And easy as a Star Look down upon Captivity And laugh.''
Ey drew the sheet out of the air, holding it up for True Name to see the fully redacted text, then unlocked it for her eyes only and handed it over.
With no further explanation, she bowed and edged around them on her way down off the rock. She moved quietly and efficiently, and it was a matter of moments before they lost sight of her in the trees.
She read it through top to bottom a few times, set it down and kneaded her paws against her face, then picked it up to read it once more.
They sat and shared quiet stories of the past through the remainder of the evening.
Finally, shoulders sagging, she handed it back. ``Re-secure it and destroy it, please.''
Ey did so and held up eir hands. ``I'm sorry, True--''
She patted eir arm with a shaking paw. ``Please do not apologize.'' After dropping the cone of silence, she continued, ``I should have\ldots I should have learned from\ldots I am sorry.''
May held out a paw once more, and this time True Name took it, letting herself be guided back to the nest of pillows, where she slumped down once more, expression glassy. ``Could themself have peeped — And seen my Brain — go round —'' she mumbled.
``Rest, my dear. It is okay,'' May said quietly. ``Do you want company?''
``Too much\ldots but I\ldots{}'' After a shuddering breath, she shook her head. ``I will\ldots be fine. We will speak later.''
May nodded and crawled back over to Ioan, nudging em to lay down so that she could tuck in against eir front. She remained tense, and when ey sent a gentle sensorium ping, she sniffled and shook her head.
Tiredness eventually won them over, though, and, despite the room being mirrored from what ey was used to, the bed was the same, comfortable one ey'd slept in for the last century, the house held the same sense of `home' as ever. May curled against eir front as she always did, and while it was strange seeing True Name just beyond her, it was still where ey belonged.
The last thing ey remembered before falling asleep was watching the way True Name had curled to face May, the two skunks holding each others' paws once more, and thinking to emself, \emph{This isn't how I pictured things winding up if I had somehow been able to fix things between them, but it could certainly be worse.}
\begin{center}\rule{0.5\linewidth}{0.5pt}\end{center}
The next Odists to visit were A Finger Pointing and Slow Hours, once more arriving as a pair and hugging Sasha in turn. They set up a cone of silence and spoke together for a scant twenty minutes before dropping it again and inviting Ioan and May to join. They pulled the beanbag a little closer to the couch and settled down on it together to listen.
Waking brought confusion. Something about the inversion from their normal bed, of having fallen asleep on eir other side than ey usually did, induced a sense of vertigo at first. The pajamas were also bunched up around em strangely, adding a subtle sense of constriction. As sleep slowly seeped away, though, the feeling lessened and ey was able to relax in the warmth beneath the covers.
``It is easy to say that all is full of love,'' Slow Hours began, smiling to Sasha. ``But now, I think, you have a sense of your own.''
Warmer than expected, perhaps. May was still in eir arms, as usual, but the position felt off with the addition of a second warm bulk.
The skunk smiled and bowed her head.
Ey tried to puzzle it out through the fog of doziness that still surrounded em. Eventually, ey gave up and levered eir eyes open, blinking a few times to bring the world into focus.
``Life will be easier for a while, and then it will be harder. You will share your loves, first with another and then with solitude, and with each you long for the other until you return.'' Her expression slipped into a lopsided grin. ``Does not matter one fucking bit, though, so I would not worry.''
At some point in the night, True Name had apparently rolled over and wound up curled in May's arms, much as she was curled in eirs, and with with eir arm resting atop May's, ey was left hugging two skunks.
``Mere breath?'' Sasha asked, grinning.
Ey lay there for a while, groggily trying to piece together eir thoughts on the situation. As far as ey could remember in eir still sleep-addled state, ey'd never been this close to True Name before. There had been the occasional casual touch, a few touches out of necessity—grabbing her hand to get away from Guōweī, lifting her after End Waking's merge—but even going back to when ey'd first met her, there'd been very little touch. It made sense, given her personality, and yet here she was, all cuddled up with the two of them. If nothing else, ey should probably decide whether or not to extricate eir arm from the situation to ease that awkwardness.
``A chasing after the wind, yes.''
Ah well, ey was probably worrying too much about this, just laying there and ruminating.
``And you will come to a performance,'' A Finger Pointing added. ``I am no oracle, but if you do not come, I will hunt you down myself. It has been too long, my dear.''
\emph{``You almost certainly are, Mx. Bălan,''} came the barest whisper of a sensorium message. \emph{``Especially if you are mumbling.''}
She laughed. ``Of course. So many threats to hunt me down, these days. But yes, thank you.''
Ey jolted at the words impinging on eir senses, getting a sleepy grumble out of May.
``And if you do not watch me perform my monologue, I will trim your claws too short in your sleep,'' May said. ``There is a monologue night coming up soon.''
\emph{``Sorry,''} ey replied to True Name.
``Far worse than being hunted down, that. I will be there.''
There was a note of amusement, of almost-laughter, as she sent, \emph{``It is okay, dear. What are you worried about? You only mumbled the last bit.''}
May preened.
Eir mind raced as ey tried to figure out how best to explain what ey'd been cycling over.
After that, they fell into comfortable conversation. Sasha joined Ioan and May on the beanbag to get some pets—the talk having apparently nudged the affectionate part of her to the fore—while Slow Hours spoke in fewer 'will's and 'shall's and settled down into the normal conversational mode of the rest of the Odists. They spoke of performances past, going all the way back to before the founding of the System, back to their time in high school. The four Odists performed a small segment of the Dickinson play they always seemed to quote from, a first for any of the Bălans in the nearly fifty years their clades had been entangled.
\emph{``I rolled over sometime in the night—I do not know when, I was memory-sick—and have been staying still to keep from waking you two. Would you like me to move?''}
Ey didn't understand, but ey didn't need to.
\emph{``No\ldots{}''} ey replied hesitantly. \emph{``But you guessed right. I hope this isn't weird or anything. If you need to--''}
\begin{center}\rule{0.5\linewidth}{0.5pt}\end{center}
\emph{``Ioan, I asked after your preferences,''} she chided. \emph{``I am okay, I promise.''}
It was nearly a month before Debarre, Douglas, and Sasha agreed to meet. Debarre's side of the negotiations remained stiff and distant, the weasel initially refusing to see Sasha after that first meeting. Douglas seemed to have set aside any sense of caution, speaking with palpable excitement. As soon as he'd learned of the change of name back to something more closely associated with his distant relative, he'd hardly spoken of anything else.
Ey hid the heat rising to eir cheeks by burying eir face in May's fur. \emph{``Right, sorry. You're okay there. I'm just being awkward.''}
Eventually, though, meeting was set up for dinner on the dandelion-dotted field, a small potluck picnic late in the evening so that the skunks wouldn't overheat in the sun.
Ey felt True Name relax. \emph{``We both are. It is comforting and awkward in equal measure. One third of me is very happy to be held, one third would really rather not be touched, and one third is simply confused. I am of three minds.''}
Everyone arrived simultaneously by Debarre's request so that no one was left waiting for anyone else. Ioan, May, and Sasha stepped into the sim just in time to see Debarre and E.W. arriving. The six of them stood in a circle in front of Douglas's stoop, dandelions and evening bumblers tickling at their ankles.
\emph{``Have you finished merging, then?''}
Or, at least they stood in a circle for a moment. Sasha almost immediately stumbled back from the group, turning in two slow, wavering circles before falling to her knees.
There was a subtle rustle of fur against pillow as the skunk shook her head. \emph{``I have the memories in place, but there are many conflicts yet to process. It is easier to put those on hold, at least, so that I can make fun of you for mumbling for a little bit.''}
``Sasha?'' Ioan said, startled.
Ey smirked. \emph{``Har har. All the same, I'm glad you made it through to this far, at least.''}
``Too much,'' she mumbled shakily. ``Too much at once.''
\emph{``Thank you, Ioan. As am I.''}
May padded over to kneel next to her. ``May I hug?''
They fell back into silence then. Ioan spent a while marveling at the mix of coziness and strangeness. It \emph{was} comfortable, there with the two skunks. May was in eir arms as she should be, and True Name, similar as she was, fit well enough in the mix. The strangeness, then, came from the knowledge that she was specifically True Name. This was so counter to what ey knew of her from the years prior, especially the version of her that she'd become over the past few weeks since End Waking's merge.
After a moment of strained silence, Sasha slumped against May's side, and the two sat together while she let out that overwhelming emotion within a cone of silence.
Ey could already tell that she'd changed, though, even beyond the fact that she'd wound up as close as this. Her speech patterns were shifting once again, losing some of their formality, finding their way back to ground from the high-minded patterns she'd picked up from her other cocladist, and yet they weren't totally those of May, either. They didn't sound the same, just more alike than they had before.
Ioan, Debarre, E.W., and Douglas took the time to set up the picnic, a rickety table bearing plates of various salads, roasted vegetables, and the makings for venison sandwiches, courtesy of E.W.. They moved in silence, hesitantly, each pausing every now and then to watch as Sasha slowly worked to calm herself.
She was tripled, now. She was True Name and she was End Waking and she was May. Whether or not she would become something new or remain thus ey didn't think even she knew. The adjustment would certainly take time for everyone. Ey liked End Waking quite a bit as a friend, but that friendship was different than that of eirs with True Name. Ey was friends with May, but in that way that partners were still friends beneath the romance of a big-R Relationship, and there was certainly no comparison to be made between the other small-r relationships. If she was of three minds, so was ey.
``That was not the greeting that I had intended,'' she said, once she had cleaned up in Douglas's house and joined them at the table to pick up a plate. ``I was hoping that I would be able to greet you all politely, settle into some easier conversation, but that of True Name has not been here in too long. This place is too charged with memories, as are your faces. Even for that of E.W. and May, there is too much bound up in the last few months.''
\emph{``Unrelated to comfort or awkwardness, I am going to get up to make coffee,''} she sent, nudging em out of rumination once more. \emph{``I did not sleep, and if I do not have coffee soon, I shall surely die.''}
``Are you feeling better now?'' Douglas asked.
May grumbled again when True Name rolled away from her, gathering the remainder of the covers and a stray pillow up to replace the space that had been left by her cocladist's absence. Ey couldn't tell if the skunk was actually awake or not, but she settled down once more, if nothing else.
She nodded. ``I am leaning on the other portions of myself now. I will have much processing to do yet, but tonight is for dinner with friends, or at least with those I hope will be friends.''
True Name sat up and scrubbed at her face with her paws, wiping the grit of sleep—or perhaps tears—from her eyes. She grinned down to em. \emph{``My assessment remains. You two are so cute that it is disgusting.''}
``I certainly hope we can be friends.'' Douglas laughed. ``I mean, those are the first words we've ever really spoken to each other, but I'm happy to have the chance to meet you.''
Stifling a laugh, ey rolled eir eyes. \emph{``Blame May.''}
``Or at least meet a third of me.''
\emph{``Way ahead of you, dear,''} she sent as she crawled out of bed. \emph{``I will make coffee and then I will need some alone time on the plain. I will ensure there is enough for all.''}
``Well, yes, but you're still a new person to me and very\ldots uh,'' he trailed off, frowning down to his plate. ``Well, very close to someone I've thought a lot about, I guess.''
There was a quiet clattering from the kitchen, mugs being shifted about and the coffee pot being set in place, doubtless another instance of her making enough noise to let them know what she was up to.
She smiled and leaned over to pat his shoulder. ``We will talk, dear. That part of me has heard so much about you and is so colored by what the other parts of me know, that I am eager to learn, as well.''
It was enough to wake May the rest of the way, the skunk stretching out against eir front and yawning wide before she shifted about to face em. ``Pillows,'' she mumbled, peeking down at the bundle she still held in her arms. ``Oh, did I\ldots?''
Debarre remained stiff and awkward, even as they settled down on the blanket to eat, plates piled high with various dishes and cups of sangria set carefully in the grass behind them. He wouldn't make eye contact with Sasha and seemed hesitant to speak even to Ioan and May.
Ioan nodded, placing a kiss atop her head. ``She said she rolled over against you, yeah.''
Eventually, he cleared his throat, set his plate down, and stared steadily at Sasha. ``I think you owe me an apology. At least from the, uh\ldots what did you call it? The True Name part of you?''
``Sorry, Ioan.''
As she had done with Serene, Sasha set her plate down as well, folded her paws in her lap, and bowed to the weasel. Ioan could tell by the set of her features and the straightness of her shoulders that she was indeed doing her best to keep that part of her at the fore. ``I am sorry, Debarre. The things that I did were for what I thought was best, but they wound up hurting a good many people. They were not fair to you and I apologize for the pain I caused. While I do not think I even \emph{could} anymore, I will all the same endeavor not to act in such single-minded ways again.''
``It's fine by me, I slept through most of it,'' ey said, chuckling. ``She and I talked about it a bit before you woke up. She's confused about it, but seemed like she needed it.''
Ioan couldn't read Debarre's expression well enough to gauge his thoughts on the matter, but judging by the way he loosened up and joined in more of the conversations after that, speaking even with Sasha, he seemed to at least have accepted the words to an extent.
``She is learning my wicked ways,'' she mumbled against eir front. ``I am happy to hear that it was helpful and that you are okay with it, though.''
Debarre and E.W. stayed for a few hours after dinner, long enough to see the first stars show themselves above the field, before they stepped back to the skunk's sim.
``Mmhm. How about you?''
Shortly after, Sasha stood, the other three following suit. She hugged Ioan and May around the shoulders and gave each of them a touch of the nose to the cheek. ``If you two do not mind, I would like to go for a walk with Douglas and speak with him alone.''
May yawned again before poking her nose up against eir chin. ``I do not know. I slept through it, too, apparently. It fits with what I said earlier, though. I am pleased to care for those around me.''
They nodded and returned the hugs and kisses, getting hugs from Douglas as well before they stepped back home.
``She also called us disgusting again.''
``Do you think Douglas still puts too much stock in who you used to be?'' Ioan asked once they were home and comfortable.
``That is because we are. Is that her making coffee?''
May was a while in answering. ``Perhaps, yes. We are not Michelle, have not been for centuries. None of us are Sasha—least of all Sasha.''
Ey nodded, nudging her snout with eir chin.
Ioan nodded, brushing out the skunk's tail with a fine-toothed comb as ey'd been commanded. ``He really relaxed after uploading, at least. Just a few little spikes in interest when certain things came up.''
``Good girl.''
``As hyperfixations go, it is a relatively innocuous one,'' she said, yawning. ``But I am at least pleased to see that he is both engaging with other things and finding fulfillment in this aspect of his life when he can.''
A few minutes later, True Name returned, carrying three mugs of coffee. Ioan and May pushed themselves up to sitting so that they could accept.
``Besides, it's not like you guys don't hyperfixate on things.''
``I am sorry I shouted last night. I think I understand Dear's letter better now.''
``Mmhm,'' she mumbled sleepily. ``But all the same, we have been slowly drifting away from what we used to be over the years, and in the face of all that we have seen, that is not such a bad thing.''
May nodded.
``How do you feel about her apology?''
``I was wondering if you didn't know about\ldots all that before last night, honestly,'' Ioan said.
``How do you mean?''
``I have been fed bad and incomplete information for years now. I had not suspected just to what extent. I am still frightened, if I am honest, but I will trust you two on this. It is complicated and bound up in emotions I do not understand, but I will trust you.'' She shook her head. ``But I cannot speak of it any more right now.''
Ey shrugged. ``It felt\ldots I don't know, a little rehearsed, maybe.''
``Heading outside?'' ey asked.
May curled in against eir side, yawning once more. ``Perhaps. She said what Debarre needed to hear, I think, and it was no less earnest for that. As much as he means to us, that is no bad thing, either.''
She nodded. ``Yes. I will need an hour or so of nothing but the morning and the grass.''
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``Of course.''
Ioan wasn't sure why ey kept feeling surprised at the number of loose threads from just one event that needed tying. The business with Qoheleth had been about as complicated, and had required meeting with several other Odists in order to finish the story, and each one came with a different tenor.
May nodded. ``Take the space you need.''
The same was true here, as well. Many members of the clade—some of whom ey'd not yet met—visited and requested time with Sasha or with the three of them. Still, ey realized, this culmination came after two and a quarter centuries for some, so perhaps it made sense.
True Name leaned over enough to dot her nose against the skunk's cheek. ``Thank you, dear. If you cook breakfast, I will refrain from telling Ioan embarrassing stories.''
Not all of these interactions went smoothly.
``Asshole.'' She laughed. ``Where did this humor come from?''
Barely a month after that dinner with Debarre and Douglas on the field, two of the most dramatic happened within the span of a week.
``Your guess is as good as mine, at this point.''
May stumbled in the middle of a Wednesday morning rehearsal, falling to her knees, panting, before pushing herself to her feet. She managed to make it through the rest of the scene before forking off so that she could continue as best she could while her root instance ducked back home.
``She seems to be doing well,'' ey said, once she'd made her way outside and down the stairs to the prairie.
Once there, she darted over towards where Ioan sat at eir desk, working through the process of writing Jonas's book. She knelt beside em, clutched a pawful of eir shirt and set up a cone of silence. Ey felt the ACL-scape of the cone shift several times until it was just about as secure as could be made.
``It helps that I did not drop a merge onto her unexpectedly. She had more to process, but more preparation to do so.''
``May? What--''
``She said she's done getting the memories in order but working on conflicts now.''
``Zacharias! He has been pinging me once every few seconds for the last minute!'' She was on the verge of hyperventilation, eyes wide and tail bristled. ``I do not know what-- \emph{fuck!}''
May nodded. ``About a third of the way done, then.''
Ioan slid from eir chair as the skunk started to slump over to the side. Ey helped her to her feet and over to the beanbag. ``May, what's happening?''
``It's really gratifying to see it going so much more smoothly this time.''
``He keeps\ldots quitting and\ldots sending high-priority merges\ldots{}'' she gasped. ``The cone will not\ldots stop those\ldots{}''
``Agreed, yes,'' she said between sips. ``I was not expecting her to turn into a cuddlebug, but I suppose that will level out before long. Was that awkward, this morning?''
``You okay for a few seconds?''
Ey shrugged. ``A little, I guess. Just hard making it work in my head. Doesn't fit with what I remember of her.''
Slumped over on the beanbag, the skunk nodded.
``I cannot picture you getting cozy with \emph{just} True Name, no. I can barely picture her getting cozy with anyone, and that is certainly not even bringing End Waking's general touch-aversion into the equation.''
Ey stepped from the cone, where May had clearly blocked sensorium messages from the fox, so that ey could holler into a message, ``What the fuck do you want?''
``I'd assume she got cozy with Zacharias, if they were together.''
``Ioan! I need to\ldots can I--''
May's expression soured. ``We will need to talk about him soon, but I cannot talk about him now.''
``No.~No coming over.''
``Of course.''
``A neutral place?''
She made a setting aside gesture, stepping back to the previous topic. ``Did that feel like crossing a boundary?''
``Do you need May there?''
``Not particularly, no. It just felt like me being awkward, more than anything.''
``Yes!''
``That is good, then.'' She finished her coffee and waved the mug away. ``I do not know how to feel about it, myself, because I do not know what she will be like when she has finished incorporating the merge. She is not yet settled enough, so I will forgive much that I might not otherwise.''
Ey sighed. ``I'll ask. No guarantees.''
``It's not like she was hitting on me or anything,'' ey said, laughing.
``No, I\ldots no,'' the skunk mumbled once ey stepped back into the cone. She'd managed to sit up and while the panicked look on her face had calmed, the beginnings of rage had taken its place. ``He cannot come here.''
She smirked. ``Are you sure?''
``Maybe Douglas's to keep him from being too much? If Sasha's reaction was anything to go by, it might quell him, or at least keep him distracted.''
Ey reached over to tug on one of her ears gently. ``Yes, I'm sure. I'm dense, but not \emph{that} dense.''
The skunk sat, silent, for a moment, holding onto one of eir hands tightly. ``Will Douglas be around to sweep if needed?''
The skunk tilted her head at the tug, laughing. ``Has your opinion of her as a friend changed?''
Ey nodded.
Ioan tilted eir head. ``How do you mean?''
``Now?''
``I do not imagine that you felt the same about her when she was just True Name as you do now about who she has become. Or is becoming, at least.''
``Yeah, I think so. I'm not sure I trust that he'll leave you alone if we put him off.''
``Well, no,'' ey hazarded. ``But I don't know just how, yet.''
``Me either.''
They reconvened over a simple breakfast of scrambled eggs and potatoes with toast.
``I instructed my fork to quit,'' True Name said by way of opening the conversation.
``Feeling positive about the merge, then?'' ey asked.
``Yes. Having worked through some conflicts, it will not be easy, but I am comfortable with the direction in which it is going.'' She took a bite of toast piled high with egg and potato, chewing thoughtfully. ``It is not all positive, but it has given me hope for a pleasant life moving forward.''
``Was your life unpleasant before?'' When May frowned at em, ey held up eir hands. ``Sorry, maybe that's impertinent. It's not important.''
True Name shook her head. ``It is okay. It was, yes. It was fulfilling. I felt hopeful and comfortable with the path I had chosen. The work itself was starting to grate on me, but that had less to do with the work than the coworker. Pleasantness was never a focus for me, however.''
May, having subsided, finished her bite of toast before\pagebreak\ asking, ``Did you have hope for happiness with just End Waking's merge?''
``No.~Not at all.'' She reached out a paw to give one of May's a squeeze, adding quickly, ``Again, I understand—now more than ever—why you did what you did, and I do approve of it in light of what is happening with Jonas, but it was an uncomfortable duality in comparison to this more comfortable plurality and I may yet settle into a new singularity. I do not know.''
May smiled gratefully, returning that squeeze.
``Meeting up with my fork hammered that point home pretty well. She looked\ldots well, I will not elaborate on the differences I saw. Seeing myself through her eyes, I can tell that she was pleased as well.''
``I am very happy to hear that,'' May said. ``Not least of which because you seem to be building a new self rather than simply a raw combination of us.''
True Name nodded, finished her plate before setting it aside. ``Thank you for breakfast, May Then My Name. Your secrets are safe for another day-- ow!''
``Your high station does not preclude you from being kicked, my dear,'' May said sweetly. ``You deserved that.''
The skunk preened.
Ioan watched the exchange, grinning. Beyond just what she'd said, ey could read relief in May's features. That resentment towards her down-tree instance had never quite gone away, ey knew, and, on some level, it likely never would. Still, that True Name was, as the skunks had said, rebuilding herself into a new person seemed to have brought out a new sense of friendliness within eir partner that had been lacking to that point.
Ey wondered if she would go through a reevaluation of who True Name had been before, much as ey had. It was certainly enough that she felt more positive, but ey—em and Codrin\#Castor, perhaps—seemed to have dropped much of that resentment that had lingered in May and so many others, though whether that was due to a difference in temperament or the relatively short time they'd known the skunk in comparison, ey couldn't tell.
``Is it just me, or is eir mumbling getting worse?'' True Name stage-whispered to May.
She whispered back, ``Perhaps the centuries are catching up to em. Is this how the Bălans crack? Should we warn Dear?''
``Are all skunks such pests?'' Ey smirked.
They laughed.
``I mumble more when I'm stressed, that's all.''
``Are you stressed now, my dear?'' May asked.
``It's a stressful time overall, even if this particular morning is pleasant enough.''
``It feels rather like the morning after a sleepover, yes,'' True Name said.
May nodded eagerly.
``I've never had one of those, so I'll have to take your word for it. Do those always come with cuddling up in the morning?''
Both skunks splayed their ears and dipped their snouts.
``It depends on the sleepover,'' May said, adding to True Name, ``Are you feeling well enough to discuss boundaries now?''
She hesitated. ``We can begin the conversation, though I will need to address further conflicts before long.''
``To be clear,'' Ioan said. ``I'm okay with it, it was just unexpected.''
True Name gave a hint of a bow. ``One thing that came up in our discussions leading up to the merge is that the one with the greater restrictions in a relationship defines the boundaries. Right now, I suspect that may be one of you two. I am the outsider, here. I have never had to have a conversation such as this.''
``My comment about you building up a new self has gone a long way towards soothing any fears,'' May said. ``I think I was worried you might incorporate my memories of the last few decades wholesale and wind up feeling exactly the way that I do about Ioan.''
True Name shook her head. ``I have taken to heart your requests and declined the personal memories you suggested. There are many conflicts,'' she said, speaking more slowly. ``Perhaps due to your feelings about me as I was, so I am not sure how I feel yet, but\ldots well, may I speak earnestly?''
May and Ioan both nodded.
``On that point, I remember enough to know why it is that you love Ioan. I can see what it is that you see in em. It is as if\ldots{}'' She trailed off, ears pinned flat. ``This is so fucking embarrassing. I am sorry. Uh\ldots it is as though there is a world in which I could do the same, but I do not know how to get from here to there. Again, I am sorry, May Then My Name.''
There was a long silence around the table while Ioan and May digested this. True Name spent it resting her head in her paws and staring down at her plate.
It was May who broke the silence, saying simply, ``May.''
True Name sniffled and lifted her head. ``Sorry?''
``Stop calling me May Then My Name.''
``I--''
They were interrupted by a rapidly crescendoing thudding sound followed by the scrabble of claws on the glass of the sliding door, Sasha finally finding purchase and whipping it open. May dropped the cone of silence.
``Do not make it weird, True Name,'' May said, laughing. She held out a paw toward the skunk ``Just fucking call me May already.''
``What the fuck is happening?!'' Sasha shouted.
``Right. May,'' True Name said, gingerly resting her paw in her up-tree instance's.
``You too, then?''
``I do not know how you get from this world to that one, either, should that even be something you want, but,'' she said, taking a deep breath, ``so long as you come by that path earnestly and we discuss it in the moment, it is your path to take. Do you have any thoughts, Ioan?''
Sasha frowned, straightened up, and brushed out her tunic. ``Yes. He just about knocked me out with the amount of adrenaline he sent my way. You look ready to go, though. Do you have a plan?''
Ey held up eir hands. ``Don't look at me. I don't have a clue.''
``We're going to meet him at Douglas's field. That's about the start and end of it, though.'' Ioan took a deep breath and tried to tamp down the urge to pace. ``Do you want to come?''
They laughed.
Ey watched a complex set of emotions play out over her features. She stood still for nearly a minute, working to master them, before nodding. ``Yes. Let us get this the fuck over with.''
``We'll see, I guess,'' ey said, shrugging. ``It's all way too much for me to take in right now.''
Ioan sent a message to Zacharias spoken aloud for the skunks' benefit. ``The Field\#002a0b1.''
``Perhaps that is a good place to pause,'' True Name said. ``This conversation has those conflicts begging for attention.''
The reply was frantic. ``What?! No!''
``There or no meeting.''
``F-fine.''
Ioan helped May to her feet and placed a kiss atop her head before the three of them forked and stepped from the sim.
Douglas stood at the top of his stoop, arms crossed, frowning. ``Ioan, what is this?''
``Zacharias made it out of the whole thing alive,'' May growled. ``And now he is losing his mind and wants to meet. I will not have him at our home.''
Douglas's frown deepened. ``So you're bringing him here? The ACLs are pretty locked down right now.''
``Yes. I do not want to meet him at all, but I do not imagine he will simply leave me alone.'' She spent a moment composing herself, plastering a mask of confidence over her anxiety. ``We need somewhere where someone can sweep him if need be.''
``If you say so,'' he said, paused, then continued, ``Alright, he should be able to enter.''
Ioan nodded and sent a ping to Zacharias.
He arrived within a fraction of a second, yelped, and fell backwards, paws balled up into fists and pressed tight against his eyes.
``How long has it been for you, my dear? Since you were forked?'' May said, kneeling down before the fox. Her voice had grown cloyingly sweet, that `my dear' taking on a spiteful tone.
``Y-yes,'' he gasped. ``Did\ldots did we have to meet here?''
``Where better?'' Sasha said. She stood nearby, arms crossed, impassive, looking almost bored, though Ioan could see the energy it was taking for her to keep that up.
Zacharias moaned. He forced himself to lower his paws to the ground, gripping at clumps of grass and dandelions. Finally, he opened his eyes and stared out toward the horizon of the field. ``I--''
``What did you want, my dear Zack? You sounded nearly on the verge of panic,'' May said.
``It is Jonas!'' he said, finally snapping out of his daze. ``Jonas! He has gone crazy! He killed all of my instances!''
``Did you expect anything else, little loverfox?'' Sasha asked. There was no humor or sweetness in her voice, the last two words carried venom in them.
``I\ldots I mean--''
``You are the root instance, I am assuming?''
He nodded, the movement jerky and uneven. ``I have not left home since. I dug a new one, you see, and he found that one somehow.''
``And what can we do for you?'' May asked.
``Help! You can help me get away from that\ldots that lunatic!''
Sasha frowned. ``Can you not dig another home?''
He reached out to clutch at May's paws. She startled backwards, but did nothing to push him away. ``I cannot\ldots I cannot just disappear! Months! It has been months since I have seen anyone. Anyone! I have to\ldots to be near--''
``No,'' she said flatly.
``But--''
``No.'' The skunk shook her head, leaned forward and touched her nose to his. ``Not me. Not Sasha. Not us. You are on your own, Zacharias. I will not accept any further messages or merges. No contact.''
He slouched once more, eyes still wide. ``May Then My Name, I--''
``No contact.'' She extracted one of her paws from his and slapped him firmly across the snout. ``And that is for before.''
Yelping, he fell back onto an elbow. He opened his mouth to respond, but May had already nodded towards Douglas, who swept him from the sim.
She remained kneeling for a moment, then started to shake, crumpling down onto the grass, panting heavily. Ioan knelt beside her until she'd cried herself dry while Douglas and Sasha sat on the steps leading up to his house, watching in silence.
``I've never seen you like that before,'' he said, once they'd made their way inside, the four of them clutching glasses of water. ``I knew he was a shitbag, but goddamn.''
``I am\ldots not okay,'' she said, whispering down to her glass. ``I am not okay.''
``It is not a mode either of us are comfortable with,'' Sasha said quietly, ``but it is the only mode that would have gained us peace. Any weakness would be taken as an opening.''
Douglas nodded. He didn't look convinced.
``I am sorry. After 226 years, one learns to use contempt with precision, however dear the cost.'' She reached out to take one of May's paws in her own. Both of them looked exhausted. ``Even so, I do not expect that is the last we will hear from him.''
They didn't stay long after. Ioan eventually promised Douglas that they'd catch up another time and then gently nudged the skunks to quit and merge back down.
The rest of the day was silent. Ioan and May collapsed onto the beanbag and stayed there through much of it, each processing in their own way, while Sasha disappeared outside to lose herself in the wilderness, not returning until late that evening, bearing a lanky hare and double-pawful of chantarelles, which she cooked down into a simple stew. They ate on the balcony to enjoy the late summer's evening as best they could.
Sasha joined them in bed that night, and they took what comfort they could from each other's company.
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The more dramatic of the meetings, however, came that weekend. It was quieter, perhaps, but bearing more weight, more finality.
The rest of the week had remained tense, with Sasha wafting in and out of the house to follow her unsettled moods while May remained quiet, nearly silent, nearly always stuck by Ioan's side. Ey knew ey should probably start laying in supplies for her overflowing, but ey was still distracted trying to pick apart the events with Zacharias. In light of eir desire to keep both of them safe and close, much of the fury that had come with eir first meeting with the fox threatened to reappear every time ey thought about the two skunks.
Which, naturally, was quite often.
It was not exactly the best of timing, then, when If I Am To Bathe In Dreams, an elegant, if severe-looking, skunk arrived late on a Saturday afternoon on a few minutes' notice and bowed formally to the three of them.
``Ioan, I believe Jonas hired you as an amanuensis?'' she said.
``He did, yes. Do you need me for that, too?''
``Please. This story is not over, will not be over for a long time yet. Listen. Watch.''
Sasha immediately picked up on the mood and stood up straight after returning the formal bow. She offered In Dreams a seat and something to drink, both of which were declined, then said, ``How may I help you?''
``I have a request from both my stanza and that of Memory Is A Mirror Of Hammered Silver. You will also be presented with this request in writing as an individual-eyes-only message.''
Sasha nodded. ``I understand.''
``We request no contact from you, your stanza, or the Bălan clade moving forward.''
``Wait, what?'' Ioan said. May edged around a little ways behind em, clutching at eir arm.
``You are too entangled in the matter. No contact with this situation means no contact from you, May Then My Name Die With Me, or E.W. \emph{né} Do I Know God After The End Waking. This request is in effect until further notice, and applies to our stanzas on Castor and Pollux as well, where Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled will be presented with the same request. None of us are on Artemis, but I will also be passing this on to Sorina Bălan. This includes general intraclade communication; we will add visibility exceptions to our messages and request that you do the same.''
``I understand, accept, and offer you my best,'' Sasha said, bowing once more.
``I do not want your best,'' In Dreams said, voice flat. ``Ioan?''
Ey blinked, hesitated, then bowed in turn. ``I understand and accept.''
``And May Then My Name?''
It took the skunk a moment to swallow back a rising wave of emotions before she could manage a shaky nod and a hoarse, ``Understood.''
``We are of one mind, then,'' she said, bowed, and stepped from the sim. A few seconds later, three sheets of paper scrolled out of the air above the dining table, all set as individual-eyes-only for each of them. Ioan read through eirs several times with a hollow feeling in eir chest.
Sasha stood still for a long minute, head bowed, then stepped outside without a word, at which point May burst into tears.
Ioan did eir best to comfort her, but after an hour, she gently pushed em away. ``I need\ldots I need the house to myself, please.''
``Should I head to Douglas's?''
She shook her head. ``I do not know, Ioan. I just\ldots I just need the house. If you can\ldots I mean, if Sasha will let you stay at her tent, you can stay, but I need the house.''
``Now?''
Nodding, she wrapped her arms around em and squeezed tighter than ey knew she could. ``I love you more than anything, my dear, but yes. Now.''
Ey waited until ey could breathe properly after the squeeze, then kissed the top of her head. ``I love you too, May. Please be safe, okay?''
She nodded once more, relinquished her grip on em, and nudged em out toward the back door and outside.
Sasha had set up a tent similar to E.W.'s, though she had skipped the process of building it herself, instead creating from similar materials off the exchange. She'd set it up nearly on the other side of the lake from their house, so that she could have the solitude that she needed without having to create some new sim of her own. When the need for space struck her, it never quite got to the point that it did with E.W. She would need away from their presences, she would say. They felt like a constant weight on her shoulders. Light, yes, but continually present.
Ah well. This was the first time that May had overflowed in this living situation—and so dramatically, too—so perhaps it would be helpful after all.
Ey took eir time walking around the shore of the lake, using it to vent the emotions that had built up over the last few hours through tears, through shouting into a cone of silence, cursing.
``Ioan? Goodness,'' Sasha said.
Ey'd managed to mostly clean up with a handkerchief, though clearly eir eyes were still red-rimmed and eir countenance\ldots well, who knew? Glum, perhaps?
``Hi Sasha,'' ey said, sitting down on the step leading up into the tent. The skunk had been writing at the small desk she'd acquired, but she moved to join em. ``May's not in a good spot. She suggested I stay with you, if that's alright.''
She frowned, nodded. ``That bad?''
``Well, she kind of kicked me out of the house, yeah.''
She laid her ears flat. ``We are perhaps both overflowing in our own ways.''
``Oh, shit. I wasn't thinking. Douglas--'' Ey moved to stand, but she grabbed eir wrist.
``I had seen this coming, if I am honest, so it is not hitting me quite so hard as her. I will be okay.''
Ey nodded, slowly settled back onto the step. ``If you say so.''
Sasha patted eir hand and bade em stay while she got up to stoke up the fire in her stove and fry up a simple meal of potatoes and vegetables. Ey couldn't tell if it was just bland—as E.W. preferred—or if eir mind was too busy to process taste, so ey mostly just pushed the food around on the plate.
``Without contraries is no progression,'' Sasha murmured after they'd finished. ``Attraction and repulsion, reason and energy, love and hate, are necessary to human existence.''
Ey started to ask what she meant, paused, then looked the words up in the perisystem architecture. ``Blake? And here I thought you all were mostly into Dickinson.''
She chuckled and elbowed em in the side. ``This may be a True Name thing.''
``Are you leaning into the ``Good is the passive that obeys reason; Evil is the active springing from Energy'' on this, then?''
``Nothing is so simple, dear,'' she said, shaking her head. ``Blake was not of our kind, he would not have understood. He did get that right, though, in that we are a people of dualities. May sees in Zacharias all that she cannot—must not—be. In Dreams and Hammered Silver see in me that which they are not—could not be—and yet we are not what we are without our opposites. Every idea's opposite is just the absence of the idea itself.''
``Maybe.'' Ey sighed. ``It's all a bit over my head.''
``I am also a little bit all over the place,'' she admitted. ``These events have me going in three different directions at once. The Ode clade is crumbling and I cannot deny that some\ldots that much of that is on me. I am sorry, Ioan.''
``I don't even know what to think about that,'' ey said, shaking eir head. ``It's kind of a lot.''
``That it is. You are a good person, though. You love your partner. She knows this. I know this. You are good to her and it will all be okay. We may hope for neat endings but all we get are more beginnings.'' She smiled, adding, ``And yes, you may stay until she is feeling better.''
``Of course, my dear,'' May said, giving her paw a squeeze. ``Go and walk. There will be time for discussions to come, especially once we are finished with this unpleasant political business.''