Updates with 2023/2024 edits

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Madison Scott-Clary
2024-03-19 22:06:22 -07:00
parent ba7bc7c95e
commit 512eb9553f
207 changed files with 22827 additions and 5074 deletions

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@ -5,7 +5,7 @@
\itshape
systime 222 (2346)
Castor---Lagrange transmission delay:\\
CastorLagrange transmission delay:\\
30 days, 14 hours, 37 minutes
\end{quote}
@ -19,19 +19,19 @@ But for some reason, that isn't what happened.
Let me start over.
After all that happened, after all the decisions that had already been made, it felt like there was one more that needed to happen. I needed to figure out what I was going to do about myself with regards to Artemis. I asked surprisingly few people for advice on this. I mentioned it briefly to my partners, and Dear thought it was an okay idea, though I could tell that neither of them were totally sold on the idea.
After all that happened, after all the decisions that had already been made, it felt like there was one more that needed to happen. I needed to figure out what I was going to do about myself with regards to Artemis. I asked surprisingly few people for advice on this. I mentioned it briefly to my partners, and Dear thought it was an okay idea, though I could tell that neither of them were totally sold on it.
On looking back, it's weird how little agency we attribute to our forks at first. The biggest complaint against the idea that they had was that they didn't want to see how much the fork I sent would miss me. \Partner\ was the one who wound up selling Dear on the idea, oddly enough, by reminding it just how much individuation can happen. It's been stuck in instance artistry too long, not letting itself deviate because its instances simply don't last long enough.
That was the origin of Sorina. Sorina Bălan, third of our clade, born at sunrise. I took that idea to heart and, when I decided to fork last week, I pushed individuation as hard and as fast as I could. I had a hundred paces to do so, a hundred steps between cairns to make sure that she was herself and that I remained myself.
And yet I'm not sure I \emph{did} remain myself. A part of me died, and I do not know what to say about that. I pushed individuation on herand see, here I go, taking her agency from her!while I did my best to stay the same, to simply walk the prairie and think only of home and of Dear and of \Partner\ and not of Artemis and a life without them. I didn't think of names. I didn't think of time skew or forking. I didn't think of anything but the pending sunrise.
And yet I'm not sure I \emph{did} remain myself. A part of me died, and I do not know what to say about that. I pushed individuation on herand see, here I go, taking her agency from her!while I did my best to stay the same, to simply walk the prairie and think only of home and of Dear and of \Partner\ and not of Artemis and a life without them. I didn't think of names. I didn't think of time skew or forking. I didn't think of anything but the pending sunrise.
I also didn't think of forgetting, and that's what got me over the weekend. Sorina and I seem to have been of one mind that we'd give it a bit of time before getting in touch with each other, but she hasn't left my thoughts since we forked. She \emph{can't} leave my thoughts. I \emph{can't} forget her.
But I realized she can forget me. She can forget us.
There may come a dayand I pray that that `may' is accurate, for my sake if nothing elsewhen she cannot remember me, cannot remember any of us, cannot remember why we love the ones we do. For all of the complaints about our impeccable memories, this is one instance that I struggle to see myself living without.
There may come a dayand I pray that that `may' is accurate, for my sake if nothing elsewhen she cannot remember me, cannot remember any of us, cannot remember why we love the ones we do. For all of the complaints about our impeccable memories, this is one instance that I struggle to see myself living without.
What do I do? How do I live with the life I've created for myself? How do I internalize that a part of me has died?