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-\hypertarget{ioan-bux103lan-2346}{%
-\chapter{Ioan Bălan — 2346}\label{ioan-bux103lan-2346}}
+\hypertarget{rj-brewster-2114}{%
+\chapter{RJ Brewster — 2114}\label{rj-brewster-2114}}
+\markboth{RJ Brewster — 2114}{}
 
-Ioan knew well enough what was coming, so ey was able to brace emself well enough when May came barrelling out of the default entry point on the dandelion-ridden field that ey was not totally bowled over, managing at least a graceful descent to the ground. The skunk had already looped her arms around eir middle and tucked her head up under his chin before ey was even able to sit up straight enough to get eir arms around her.
+\noindent There was some draw, some appeal to Dr.~Ramirez. At first, RJ suspected that it was the quiet intensity of her confidence, the way she moved through the world with a hunger for knowledge that was at all times colored by the light of the desire to do right by the world as a whole. Then, ey thought that it might simply be that she was a good person. She was the one who believed hard enough and strong enough to follow up on the lost. She was the one who had actually tried, had actually moved forward at a pace that meant progress on the case. Recently, ey had been thinking that it was something more abstract than that.
 
-``You nut.'' Ey laughed, reaching up to tug at one of her ears affectionately. ``Good to see you too.''
+Concrete? Abstract? The line had long since blurred to meaninglessness.
 
-``Ioan, I am in no way sorry for knocking you over,'' she mumbled, her grip around eir middle tightening. ``Though I am dreadfully sorry that this happened again. I missed you.''
+Ey had been lost for something beyond an eternity, for `eternity' implied the existence of time, or at least a form of time that actually meant something. Ey had been lost for a day longer than forever, and had ey been lost for only hours, as Sasha had, it would have been longer still. Even then, the word `longer' held far too much savor. It burned in the sinuses and left eir eyes stinging with tears.
 
-Giving up on the prospect of sitting up straight so that ey could keep both arms around her, ey leaned back onto one hand, propping emself up. ``No need to apologize, May. I'm just happy to see you again.''
+She had been the first one in more than forever that ey had seen. She had been the one who broke through the wall of eir solipsistic existence and encouraged em to reengage with the world. As the orbits of eir life grew smaller and smaller, they had collapsed into a wandering figure-eight around Sasha, the one who made em complete, and Carter, the one who tied em to reality.
 
-The skunk leaned away from em enough to dot her nose against eirs. Her eyes were quite red and ey could see tear-tracks in the fur of her cheeks. She looked a mess. ``Do not take my apology away from me. I have been saving that one up.''
+And so it was that, even beyond the meetings and interviews, beyond the panels and studies, ey found emself staying in touch with her. Once or twice a week, ey would make the long walk from eir flat down to the cluster of UCL buildings and wait until she was free for lunch or dinner, or, had ey yet again forgotten the meaning of time, wait for her to arrive at work early in the morning so that they could get coffee together.
 
-``Alright, alright,'' ey said, pressing eir nose a little more firmly to hers for a moment before leaning back again. ``Apology accepted. Are you feeling better?''
+She had not questioned it at all. Even that first time, after ey had hunted down her office in the UCL directory and arrived, unannounced, outside of it to wait awkwardly until she pulled back from her rig. She had simply smiled, shaken eir hand, and they had gone out for an afternoon cup of coffee with no further discussion. It had simply become the thing that they did every now and then.
 
-She sat upright rather than leaning against eir front and nodded. ``Yes. I was able to get a lot out that I think has been pent up for a while. Thank you for giving me the space. I promise I did not fuck with your pen collection.''
+Perhaps that was why ey liked her? Maybe.
 
-``Good. I had it all perfectly organized.'' Ey plucked a dandelion from the field and tucked it behind her ear. ``Now, do you want to talk about it? Or should we do that later? That was longer than the last few times.''
+Today, at lunch, ey joined Carter and two of her coworkers, Prakash Das and Avery Wilkins. Vietnamese was the order of the day, and each of them had consoled em in turn about the loss of eir dear Priscilla, the cat who had been the only other grounding factor in eir life these last two years. A sudden loss of appetite, and then a sudden loss of life, and now ey needed the comfort of friends—or whatever it was that Carter had become—and some noise other than quiet jazz and London streets.
 
-``Later, please. I want to say hi to Douglas and wash my face and just be normal for a bit.''
+To their condolences, ey had simply raised eir cup of tea and nodded to them, saying, ``To deny the end is to deny all beginnings.''
 
-Douglas Hadje met them on the stoop of his house and, as had become their ritual over the years, hugged the skunk, lifted, and twirled her around, her bushy tail streaming along behind her.
+``Delphic, as ever,'' Prakash said, though his smile and the lift of his own glass took any sting out of the words.
 
-``Hey May,'' he said, setting her back down again. ``Glad you made it through.''
+Ey smiled too, though ey could feel exhaustion tugging at eir cheeks. Ey had slept, ey knew, but did not remember when. ``Oh, trust me, there is plenty more where that came from.''
 
-``Of course I made it through. You still have at least seventy nine years of me haunting you before I can do something else.'' She grinned. ``And even then, the contract is renewable.''
+``Where \emph{does} it come from?'' Avery asked.
 
-``Ornery as ever. Well, want to come in?''
+``I am not sure.'' Ey sipped at eir tea, still too hot to drink comfortably. ``Whatever wellspring that was unstoppered in\ldots in there.''
 
-``For a bit, and then I want to come back out here and lay in the grass and bake in the sun.''
-
-After May had cleaned up and Ioan had helped Douglas prepare coffee and some sandwiches, they sat around the table to catch up.
-
-``So, what news of the aliens?'' Douglas asked.
-
-The skunk squinted at him. ``Has Ioan not been keeping you up?''
-
-``A little. Ey said ey wanted to wait until you got here, though.''
-
-She rolled her eyes. ``Well, out with it, then.''
-
-``I've gotten several messages from Codrin over the last few days, but nothing as of this morning, when ey said they were heading out to start the talks.''
-
-``So they are already a week into them.'' She looked thoughtfully up to the ceiling. ``Perhaps well into them by now.''
-
-``Or maybe they're already over,'' Douglas said.
-
-``A gloomy thought. I would like to hope that they are going quite well. Codrin is there being a Bălan, Tycho is there being a nerd, this Sarah Genet is there being a whatever a Genet is like, Why Ask Questions is there being a shithead.'' She wrinkled her nose. ``And True Name is doing her best control the whole thing.''
-
-Ioan was pleased to see the mildness of the skunk's expression. It really did seem like much of those overwhelming emotions had burned themselves out over the last few days.
-
-``It's weird,'' Douglas said. ``Every now and then, I'll hear about something from one of the LVs that's anchored to a certain time and I'll remember,''Oh shit, yeah, they're billions of kilometers away by now'', and then I have to spend some time trying to conceptualize that distance.''
-
-Ioan nodded. ``The transmission delay throws a wrench in things, doesn't it? I was just thinking about that on Secession day. We were celebrating and it sounds like they were, too, but we didn't learn about their party until a week later.''
-
-``The thing that always catches me off guard is that our days do not seem to line up any longer,'' May said around a bite of sandwich. ``I mean, they do, but when the delay is off by half a day, we start getting messages at shit o'clock in the morning. It is a strange feeling.''
-
-``Exactly.''
-
-``I hope they're still in the talks, too. Codrin sounded hopeful, at least. The messages that they'd been getting from the Artemisians were interesting. I'm guessing the powers that be made em promise not to send the full message text yet, but what they have learned is fascinating. Four races on one ship must be a hell of an experience. The DMZ sim sounds pleasant, though, and all of the work they've done to prepare is really kind of impressive.'' Ey sipped at eir coffee to buy a moment's time to think before saying, ``There was a bunch of stuff in there for you, too, May. We can go over that later, though.''
-
-The skunk frowned, finished the last of her sandwich, and then settled back in the chair with her coffee. ``You cannot leave me hanging, my dear. May I at least have a preview?''
-
-``Well, Codrin's worried about you, as is Dear.''
-
-``The memory thing?'' Douglas asked.
+``Seems like it stuck around.''
 
 Ey nodded.
 
-May sipped at her coffee, looking out the window to the rolling field beyond. ``I am worried, too. You know that.''
+``Think you'll ever turn it into something?'' Avery grinned to em. ``You know, write a book. Something like that.''
 
-``I know. Reading between the lines, though, I think ey's worried about the whole clade. Ey's worried about you and Dear, and ey's worried about how True Name and Why Ask Questions are going to act through this. Dear reacted poorly to the whole time-modification thing.''
+``I had not thought of that. I do not know that I could make a plot out of what feels like millions of words in a rock tumbler. Perhaps a poem.''
 
-She nodded and sat in silence for a minute before setting her cup down. ``We are not doing as well as many of us would like, no. I have news as well, but I would like to share it outside where I can sit in the sun and feel the grass. Is that okay?''
+``Even infinite monkeys,'' Carter said, as she always did whenever the topic came up. She, of all of them, knew best. She had been in there with em for a few minutes or a few eternities. Another reason to like her. ``Either way, you look thrashed, RJ. You sleeping okay?''
 
-Ioan and Douglas collected plates and coffee cups, then the three of them trooped out into the field while May spoke.
+``No.~Maybe. I do not know.''
 
-``We have lost May One Day Death Itself Not Die and I Do Not Know. Death Itself stopped talking, and then she stopped moving. In Dreams visited for a while there, and a few days ago asked me to come visit as well. That is why this spell seemed to last longer than usual. Evening hit, she smiled at us, shrugged, and then quit.''
+Perhaps sensing some emotion deeper than exhaustion laying beneath the equivocation, the table fell silent, and ey once again looked out the window into the greying afternoon, thumb-tip tapping rhythmically along each of the contacts on the middle joints of eir fingers.
 
-May's voice was thick as she continued. ``They all lived in the same house, did you know that? All ten of that stanza. Many of them did not even talk with each other, and none of them ever forked. They were always quite unstable. The next morning, I Do Not Know was gone, and Names Of The Dead said that she had quit shortly before sunrise.''
+Once the food arrived, the mood loosened up, and ey was able to smile and laugh and take part in the conversation, and even managed to apologize for being a damper on lunch only twice.
 
-Ioan and Douglas remained quiet as they walked. The skunk didn't seem to be quite done saying the things that she needed to.
+Spring rolls and phở occupied their attention for a while, then, and they ate in silence except for the occasional `good soup' and other such nothing compliments.
 
-She continued after a few minutes of mastering emotions, voice clear once more. ``In Dreams and I talked quite a bit. She said that there have been fewer instances of instability in older clades than expected, given \emph{On the Perils of Memory}. Fewer uploads are susceptible to the long-term effects of unceasing memory than expected, I guess. I was pleased to see that Debarre seems to be doing well.''
+The time neared one o'clock, whatever that meant, and they settled up the bill and took the remainder of their conversation outside, hands stuffed in pockets while clouds of steam preceded them.
 
-``That's heartening,'' Douglas said. ``At least in a way.''
+More laughter, more companionship. More warmth, despite the cold.
 
-The skunk nodded. ``I am happy that the System is more stable than feared, but I am unhappy that we seem so strongly affected. In Dreams said that she is going to do some research and see if there are ways that we can at least improve on the way we deal with the effects. I do not know that there is a way to get rid of them entirely, at least not without further individuation, but the least we can do is help keep ourselves sane for longer.''
+\emph{Perhaps this is why,} ey thought. \emph{Perhaps Carter and all of those she has introduced to me can add at least a little bit of warmth to the winter of my life.}
 
-Ioan took her paw in eir hand and lifted it to kiss the back. ``Please, yeah. If you go bonkers, I'll be furious.''
+No, no, must not think such things. Ey had made eir decision, had ey not?
 
-She laughed and gave em a pitying look. ``Mx. Ioan Bălan, you are pretty good at acting furious on stage, but I do not believe for a second that you could actually feel that way. Even Codrin was able to have a normal meeting with True Name after she did as she does with em.''
+At the door to the building where the three worked, they all exchanged hugs, another bright spark of warmth in the cold afternoon, enough to carry em back home. Empty home, where ey could listen to more jazz and the distinct lack of purring. Empty home where ey could stare at eir rig and dare emself to delve in, if only to see if Sasha was about after work. Before work? What time was it for her? Time had left em; ey had only words.
 
-Ey did not laugh. Neither, ey noted, did Douglas.
+Perhaps sleep.
 
-``I am sorry,'' she murmured, ears laid flat.
+Ey made it a block before ey heard the sound of jogging behind em, and stepped over closer to the wall to let the jogger pass. The sound slowed, however, and ey was greeted once more by Prakash.
 
-``\,`Furious' is the wrong word, May. I'd lose my damn mind.'' Ey took a shaky breath and rubbed at eir face. ``I can't tell you you're not allowed to or anything, since I know it's not really up to you, but please at least try to stick around.''
+``Hey RJ, mind if I walk with you for a bit?''
 
-``I'm not going to pile on or anything,'' Douglas said. ``But I will say I'd be pretty upset, too, so if there's anything I can do to help, I will.''
+``Sure.'' Ey frowned. ``Do you not have work?''
 
-May dragged them both to a stop in the field. Her expression started out angry, then screwed up into sadness, and finally settled on tired. ``I love you both, each in your own way, and I promise I will do what I can to stay here, stay grounded. I cannot speak for the rest of the clade, and certainly not for Dear, but I will do what I can.''
+He shrugged. ``I do, but I'm getting sick of being cooped up. Begged an additional hour off to just get out for a bit.''
 
-It was not uncommon for these reunions to be tearful, Ioan knew, but it was a different sort of pang that settled in eir chest with the news, and it was a few minutes before ey was able to speak again. ``Sorry, you two.''
+``Alright.''
 
-The skunk stuck her tongue out at em. ``I will allow you this one apology, but do not make a habit of it. You are allowed to cry at sad shit.''
+A silence stretched for a few minutes before Prakash said, ``Nice day, isn't it?''
 
-Ey rolled eir eyes and shoved at her.
+``No,'' ey said, laughing. ``It is cold and gray. My cat is dead, my job is gone, and my two friends are someone I can only meet in a place I am terrified to go and a researcher of something that is no longer a problem.'' \emph{Memory is a mirror of hammered silver,} the litany continued within as always. Silently, ey hoped. \emph{A weapon against the waking world.} ``Dreams are the plate-glass atop memory: a clarifying agent against the-- Sorry.''
 
-``Well, I was promised laying in the grass and baking in the sun,'' Douglas said. ``So come on, we can at least enjoy the rest of the afternoon.''
+Prakash nodded, as though this was part of a normal conversation. ``You're okay, RJ. No luck on the job front? Are you doing alright for cash?''
 
-May made it through dinner — Ioan was heartened to see that she'd actually eaten all of the chicken soup ey'd made — before padding off to a beanbag to curl up. She kept up a sleepy conversation for a few minutes while Ioan cleaned, but even that tapered off to silence. When next ey looked back, the skunk was asleep.
+Ey rubbed away unwelcome tears and nodded. ``Enough for another six months here, and then I need to either find a new job or move back to America. My parents have said--''
 
-Every time ey'd left her to sleep out on the beanbag in the past, though, she'd spent the next day disoriented and moody (ey suspected this is what she'd meant when she said she slept better next to someone all those years ago), so, once ey finished cleaning, ey knelt beside the beanbag, wormed eir arms beneath her, and scooped her up.
+``Would you be interested in a job offer?''
 
-May made a sort of drowsy chirping noise as ey lifted her, hugging her arms around eir shoulders for the short journey to the bedroom. Long as her tail was, ey still had to be careful not to step on any of her fur with it hanging limply, almost to the ground.
+``From the university?''
 
-Once there, ey helped her out of her clothes, unsteady as she seemed, and then tucked her in, leaning down to put a kiss on her cheek.
+He shook his head. ``No.''
 
-``Ioan?''
+``Where then? I did not know you worked anywhere else.''
 
-``Yes?''
+``Work is probably the wrong word, here,'' Prakash said, grinning. ``But, I mean, if you don't mind heading out of the WF for a while, I might have something for you.''
 
-``Can you stay?''
+Part of RJ stopped up short—though not, ey noted dispassionately, eir body—and ey blinked rapidly down towards the ground. This was a new, strangely shaped bit of information. There was no opening within eir mind that would fit it perfectly, so ey carefully set it aside. \emph{The waking world fogs the view and time makes prey of remembering.} ``And what would this job that you do not work at entail? I am wary of sims.''
 
-Ey hesitated then nodded, forking off a copy to finish cleaning up and taking notes. After a few minutes of eir own bedtime routine, ey slipped into bed with her. Ey was certainly tired enough, ey realized.
+``Of course. Minimal work on the 'net.'' He seemed to consider for a moment, then shrugged. ``Well, no work on the 'net, actually, but minimal work in-sim.''
 
-And so now, back at home, back in their own bed, alone together, May and Ioan had the conversation ey felt they truly needed. They talked quietly, almost \emph{sotto voce}, now that they were alone, now that it was dark and comfortable and they were no longer surrounded by the loud, raucous colors of Douglas's field. They shared their kisses, their small touches, they reaffirmed, in so many small, unspoken ways, their love for each other, and they talked.
+Ey nodded, waited for Prakash to continue.
 
-``What do you think they are learning?'' May murmured, nose-tip poking up against Ioan's chin.
+``Carter was kind enough to provide us with some extra information. Michelle's core dump from when she got lost, yours from the theater sim that the techs were careless enough to leave around. Some people I'm\ldots not working with at my non-job with have been digging through those and, in combination with the testimonies of the lost, come up with some interesting hypothes--''
 
-Ey had to speak carefully to respond, lest ey bump her snout. ``Who can say? Perhaps they are learning, perhaps they are teaching.''
+``A way back?''
 
-``Poetic.''
+The intensity with which ey replied startled Prakash, who held up his hands defensively. ``Sorry, RJ. If I overstepped--''
 
-``There are Odists involved, it's going to be poetic through and through.''
+``No, sorry,'' ey said. ``I did not mean to shout. If it is a way back, I will say yes. If it is a way to `fix' whatever I have become, I will say no and do not wish to waste your time.''
 
-She laughed and poked em in the belly with a claw. ``Jerk.''
+He relaxed and shook his head. ``I see. You've mentioned not wanting to lose what you have. I wouldn't have offered if that was on the table. They're not really thinking of a way back, no, but maybe a way forward. Use what you taught us to find—or make—somewhere new.''
 
-``That's me, yes,'' ey said, grinning and nudging her muzzle about with eir chin. ``The Odists are learning how to manipulate new species. Tycho's learning about the stars. I can't speak to Sarah, but Codrin is along for the ride.''
+At this, ey really did stop up short. ``What do you mean, `somewhere new'?''
 
-``Did ey have much more to say about eir doubts?''
+``Arms races have fallen out of style. It's not really considered fashionable to stockpile weapons or anything anymore.''
 
-``A little. Ey's still feeling more caught up in the events than an actual participant, but I think ey's also starting to look for ways out of the cycle. I don't know if ey's picked up any specific ideas on how to take charge, but that ey's decided that that's something ey'd like to do is change enough.''
+RJ blinked, nonplussed.
 
-The skunk nodded. ``You are a careful lot, but it is nice to see when you do become more assertive.''
+``Technology, however, brings with it a status of its own.'' Prakash smiled, neither pityingly nor happily. Dreamily. ``So if, as you say, dreams are the plate-glass atop memory, and if, as you've said in the past, getting lost put you in a mirrored cage, then these are bits of information related to technology. If one could set aside the cage metaphor and set up a mirrored \emph{world}, well, that would be quite the status symbol.''
 
-``We lack your flair,'' ey said, ruffling up some of her fur.
+RJ stood a while in thought, searching Prakash's face until the man averted his eyes. ``What would be required of me?''
 
-``I also enjoy that, do not get me wrong. Not everything needs flair.'' She perked up, dotted her nose against eir chin, and asked, ``You said something about time modification earlier, but I was shattered and did not think to ask about it. What does that mean?''
+``Nothing, for now. Just to stay in touch. Eventually, though, we'll get you somewhere we can dig into research and after that, you'll be one of the founders of something big. Really big.''
 
-``Oh, right. It sounds like the Artemisians don't fork, and instead rely on the ability to change how fast they experience time. Individuals or groups can speed up their perception so that the world around them seems to slow down, that sort of thing.''
+The words came in a torrent, then, and with such an intensity that ey staggered and had to clutch at Prakash's arm for support. ``The flow of prophecy climbs up through the years, winter upon winter upon winter, and compels the future to do its bidding. The prophet is only a pipe that sounds when the past\ldots shit. I am sorry. All of that to say `yes'. I am sorry.''
 
-There was a long moment's silence, and were it not for the shallowness of her breathing, ey might have thought May had fallen asleep. Eventually, she whispered, ``I do not like that.''
+Once the shock of the onrush of words wore off, Prakash nodded, smiling cautiously. ``It's okay, RJ. Like I said, nothing needs to be done right now. And I trust that you know not to mention this to anyone. Someone else will talk to Michelle about it. Talk to each of the lost, I mean. No need to bring it up with them. When things are lined up, we can go for another walk after coffee or something. Sound good?
 
-Ioan dipped eir chin enough to bump eir nose against hers. ``Codrin said Dear got quite upset about it, yeah. It warned em that there would be two Odists among the emissaries and that ey should watch out.''
+Ey swallowed dryly, nodded. ``Thank you. I will hold on until then.''
 
-She remained still, no reciprocating press of nose to nose. She continued in her whisper. ``Once, when I was in school, I performed in a play that used the works of Emily Dickinson throughout. I still remember it. \emph{Time feels so vast that were if not For an Eternity— I fear me this Circumference Engross my Finity—}''
+They started walking again, the researcher explaining that he really did need the air, since all that waited for him was an office sim.
 
-Ey remained quiet as ey mulled over the words. The archaic language felt opaque to em, but, as ey prowled through synonyms, ey began to piece together meaning. ``You've mentioned eternity before in the context of getting lost. This sounds almost relieved, though, that eternity exists, lest everything get too overwhelming.''
+RJ did not mind. What sadness that dug at em from Prisca's passing had been blunted, softened by the prospect of something new. Something ahead of em. Something to look forward to that did not bring with it more exhaustion, more words.
 
-``There was no eternity in there, Ioan. Time was beyond vast. I \emph{was} engrossed. There was no me left. When we were pulled out, we were finally confronted with eternity again.''
+``You know,'' Prakash said thoughtfully. ``I know the things you say sometimes aren't really intentional or anything, but you're not wrong.''
 
-``\,`We'?''
+``Mm?''
 
-May took a while to respond. ``Michelle and the author of the Ode.''
+``About prophecy, I mean. Just over two years since you got back and here you are, being invited to compel the future to do your bidding using what you learned.''
 
-Ey nodded, letting the comment about the Name slip by, asking instead, ``And being stuck in a place with malleable time would bring back a lot of that?''
-
-``Yes. Codrin is right to be careful. The clade struggles enough with stability as it is.'' She broke the tension of the moment by licking his chin. ``On a happier note, In Dreams mentioned a hypothesis about the struggles we've had with memory.''
-
-``Oh?''
-
-``Well, happier for the System, if not for us. I guess she has hunted down some other clades that have been having problems. She says there are uniting factors, such as a weaker boundary between subconscious and conscious, a greater sense of the numinous, and so on. I am too sleepy to remember the details, but she is looking into it.'' The skunk giggled. ``She says we should get therapy.''
-
-``Oh, you definitely should,'' ey teased. ``Maybe this Sarah Genet is still on the System. That's what she does.''
-
-``Therapy?''
-
-Ey nodded.
-
-A moment's hesitation, and then May nodded. ``I let In Dreams know.''
-
-``Good. The more minds working on this, the better.''
-
-``Are you really that worried, my dear?''
-
-Ey frowned, shrugged. ``That's part of it. More, I just feel helpless. I'm not worried about you going sideways any time soon, really, and certainly hope you don't at all, but should that happen, watching helplessly would be\ldots well, it's a big fear of mine.''
-
-May hugged herself closer to em, snout once again ducking beneath eir chin. ``I understand. I am stuck with the related fear of losing control. I do not like the feeling of not being in control of my emotions, even for these brief periods, but if that were to just become my life\ldots{}''
-
-After she trailed off, ey tightened eir arms around her, brushing fingertips through fur.
-
-They lay like that in the quiet and the dark. Eir fork apparently finished up with eir notes and quit, but given the topics of conversation, ey declined to accept the merge. Ey did not want to be distracted from the simple task of petting May, of enjoying the feeling of having her back.
-
-``May?''
-
-The skunk poked her nose against eir collarbone. ``Mm?'' She sounded half asleep.
-
-``I really can't lose you. You know that right?'' Ey felt her stiffen in eir arms, continued, ``I said ages ago that I'm not built for a life with death in it. That's why I'm here. That's why I uploaded in the first place, to get away from that.''
-
-``Ioan,'' she said, voice hoarse. ``I already-''
-
-``I know, you already promised. I believe you. I'm not trying to berate you, I'm trying to say I love you.''
-
-``Ioan Bălan, if you make me cry again, I will smother you in your sleep.''
-
-Ey laughed. ``It sounds like it's already too late.''
-
-``Thin fucking ice, buddy.'' May sniffled and squirmed around until she could tuck back against eir front. ``I love you too, my dear, top to bottom and front to back.''
-
-As ey settled in for sleep, kissing the backs of the skunk's ears, ey marveled that ey could only remember the Ioan who never thought to form attachments, who could never remember to ask May if they were in a relationship, who continually wondered how she wound up in eir life as some other person. That Ioan was gone. Ey had slipped out while the Ioan ey was now wasn't looking, and had never come back. Ey wished em luck, this younger version of emself. Ey wished em happiness and fulfillment. And, should that Ioan ever find emself struck by the wonder of love, ey wished em courage in the face of it.
-
-This Ioan, the one ey was now, understood the value in attachments, and yet ey could still marvel, twenty years on, at just how much more complete ey was with May in eir life, and for that, ey'd be forever thankful.
+Ey laughed, earnest and true. ``I suppose so. I was going to say `the prophet is only a pipe that sounds when the past demands it', and given that I cannot seem to live in this world anymore, that demand is getting to be overwhelming.''