1616 lines
59 KiB
Markdown
1616 lines
59 KiB
Markdown
Gallery Exhibition
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A night on the town. A bar for an aperitif. A light dinner at a modern
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restaurant, one of those places with default sensoria settings that turn
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up the taste inputs and turn down the visual inputs, so that you eat
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intensely delicious food amidst a thick, purple fog. Another bar,
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livelier and less painfully modern, for a digestif.
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And...
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Crowds. Crowds upon crowds. Your own crowd a cell within a supercrowd.
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Instances drifting, or perhaps forced by momentum --- theirs or others'
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--- along the thoroughfares of a nexus.
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And...
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A low slung building, a crowded foyer, fumbling for tickets.
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And...
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Waiting.
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And...
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Programs.
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Explanations. Elucidations. Errata.
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Words to chuckle over with your group of friends.
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> Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled, of the Ode Clade is pleased to
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> welcome you to its gallery opening. Tonight, it has prepared for you a
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> modest exhibition of its works within the realm of instance artistry.
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> This is presented at the culmination of its tenure as Fellow, though
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> the name rankles, of Instance Art in the Simien Fang School of Art and
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> Design.
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And the sound of a door opening.
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A short, slight...thing, steps from the next room through one of the two
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doors on the far wall and calls for attention. To call it a person seems
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almost misleading. It's a dog. A well-dressed dog? A glance further on
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in the program offers a glib explanation:
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> **The artist**
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>
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> This gallery exhibition serves as the capstone for Dear, Also, The
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> Tree That Was Felled, of the Ode Clade in its role as fellow. The
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> fellowship in instance art was created specifically for Dear in
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> recognition of the excellence it brings to the field.
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>
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> Dear's instance is modeled after that of a now-extinct animal known as
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> a fennec fox, a member of the vulpine family adapted to desert living.
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> Dear has modified the original form to be more akin to that of humans.
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> The iridescent white fur appears to have been a happy mistake.
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Well.
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That's a thing.
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Anyway.
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*"If I may have your attention, folks."* You're not sure how or why, but
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it speaks in italics. It's...but that...nevermind. *"My signifier,
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or...ah, name is Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled, or just Dear. I
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come from the Ode Clade of Dispersionistas, and am a Fellow of Instance
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Art at the Simien Fang School of Art and Design.*
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*"An artist is, one might say, one who works with structured experience.
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A play is art, as is music, as both are means of structuring experience
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in a certain way.*
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*"So, also, is instance art. It is a way of using dissolution and
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merging in such a fashion that the experience of forking --- or of
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witnessing forking,"* it gives a polite nod to the room. *"Becomes
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structured, becomes art."*
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*"Before we begin, I would like to take a small census of those present.
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This is for your own sakes as well as for that of the artworks, such as
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they are. We'll let them know. Could you please raise your hand if you
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consider yourself a Tasker?"*
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A scant few hands go up in the air, all huddled in one corner of the
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room. Perhaps a group? A group of their own?
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Uncomfortable titters waft through the...the audience? The ticket
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holders, at least. Talking about dispersion strategies is not something
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one usually does.
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Dear holds its face composed in a calm, polite expression.
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*"Trackers? Raise your hands, please."*
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Of those who remained minus the Taskers, perhaps a third raise their
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hands. Several individuals, a few distinct groups including your own.
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That leaves well more than half belonging to ---
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*"And Dispersionistas?"*
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Sure enough, large numbers of hands lift into the air. The
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Dispersionistas are a vast majority, and surround most everyone else in
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the room, minus the Taskers, who remain off to their own side. The
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audience seems to be mostly fans of the work."
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Dear gives a brief blink, likely saving a tally of represented
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dissolution strategies to some exocortex for other instances to access.
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It smiles kindly at the audience, *"Thank you. Now, if you would be so
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kind as to follow me, I will be happy to walk through the gallery with
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you."*
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Dear turns adroitly on its heel and without a moment's hesitation,
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forks. A second, identical instance appears to its left and finishes
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that turn in perfect synchrony.
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A small wave of applause begins. To fork so casually and continue to
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move in lockstep bespeaks no small amount of practice with the
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procedure.
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It doesn't last.
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One instance of Dear (the original? maybe?) heads through the left-hand
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door and the other (the fork? it's so hard to keep track with all these
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people) steps through the right door.
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-----
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And here perhaps we must take a step back and acknowledge the fact that
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this is all very strange, because it certainly is. Because it's
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confusing. Because it's opaque. Because perhaps you aren't even sure
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what these terms mean, even now. Because, like all love stories, it's so
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very easy to get lost. Like all love stories it's told from multiple
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angles. Like all love stories, despite time's true arrow, it
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nevertheless is at its very core, nonlinear.
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How do you remember it, these many years later? How do you take the fact
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that so much happened simultaneously that night and you merged so
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incautiously after that even your very own memories argue with you? How
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do you square "love story" with "corrupted memories" and still love the
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one you do?
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You take a step back and acknowledge it.
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You acknowledge it because you forked. You followed both Dears, damn the
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consequences.
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The room you wind up in is smaller even than the foyer, and the
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ticket-holders have to press even closer together. The audience that
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winds up here is the least diverse, containing none of the Taskers and
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very few of the Trackers who wound up at this (apparently primarily
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Dispersionista) event. As such, the press is met with uncomfortable
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silence: one doesn't normally talk about dissolution strategies with
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strangers, but Dear has deftly forced it to be an issue.
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There's no sign on the fox's face that it knows what it has done. Just
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that calm, polite smile. Curious. How can one know that a fox is smiling
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rather than snarling or something, much less that the smile is polite.
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Perhaps styled after those old cartoons of anthropomorphic animals, or
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simply just an impression.
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*"Thank you. Much cozier in here."*
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Many of the proclaimed Dispersionistas are grinning at the trick, and
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even several of the Trackers are smiling.
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*"My only request is to not fork during the duration of the
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exhibition,"* Dear continues, giving a knowing glance to some of the
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Dispersionistas. *"Exigencies aside, of course."*
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A thought crosses your mind. Perhaps it's the drinks, those hip and
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strong aperitifs and too-sweet digestifs.
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Well, hell. It's hard to take a fox standing on two legs seriously when
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it gives you instructions
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...
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This all seems rather ridiculous, when you take a look at it. Instances
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as art?
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...
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You're not as smooth as Dear, but you manage to step a little further
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away from one of your friends, leaving enough room for you to bring into
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existence your own second instance.
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For a moment, you aren't sure quite what happens. After a second, things
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start to click into place, though.
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A mere fraction of a second after you forked, Dear also forked,
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instructing its instance to come into existence in a space overlapping
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the space that your instance already occupied. This sort of thing is
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very much frowned upon and, in most public areas, impossible to even
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pull off.
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As it is, collision detection algorithms whine in protest and force the
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two instances apart with some force, causing a cascading ripple of
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collisions, spreading complaints of personal space. The room has safe
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settings, at least, and the collision detection algos register a bump at
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least a centimeter before one body touches another.
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The Dear at the front of the room is smiling beatifically, but the one
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confronting your instance has undergone strange transformations. Its
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eyes are bloodshot, almost to the point of glowing red. It's mouth is
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gaping, lips pulled back in a snarl, muzzle flecked with froth. *Rabid,*
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you think. It has lost most of its humanity, though it remains on two
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legs.
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You let out a shout, but it's drowned amid a chorus of other yells and
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screams.
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Post-humanity, confronted with humanity regressed feels a special kind
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of fear, and as the feral Dear herds your instance toward the back of
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the room, back toward the foyer, the other ticket-holders (*though
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perhaps 'audience members' is the correct term once more*, you think, as
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you struggle to send a SIGTERM to your instance amid the distraction,
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fail) surge forward toward the original instance of Dear.
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It's still smiling.
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It opens the next door.
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The crush is far more intense than expected, as you find both halves of
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the audience rejoined and dumped back into a dark and already crowded
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room.
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Already crowded with several instances.
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Dear has forked itself several times and each of those instances are
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forking again, until there's easily twice as many instances of Dear as
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there are audience members.
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The noise doubles and then doubles again as the instances start charging
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at and pinning audience members against each other and the walls,
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herding and shouting, all with bloodshot eyes, bared fangs, inhuman
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snarls.
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It's loud and dark and panicky.
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Some try forking. And the new instances are ganged up upon, charged at,
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with twice the intensity as the parent instances. Most quit.
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You realize that these instances of Dear are not actually attacking to
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harm the audience. There are no syringes, no coercion to quit. Just
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exercising, violently, the collision detection algorithms in the room,
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which are still set safe.
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This makes you *furious*.
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Without even thinking, you reach out a hand and grab one of the
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instances of Dear by the scruff of the neck and drag it to you, giving
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it a good shake as you do so.
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"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" you shout into its face?
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The fennec snarls at you and, with surprising force, grabs your forearm
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and, using itself as a pivot, swings you around through about a
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quarter-circle's arc. It keeps its paws on your arm, one on your elbow
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to keep it straight and one on your wrist, and shoves you back by
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lunging forward.
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It lets you go and, in one complex motion, aims a swipe at your face
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with one paw while the other slams, palm flat, against its jacket
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pocket.
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Something happens to the floor beneath your feet.
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You fall.
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The room into which you and this feral Dear fall is cylindrical. Walls
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of concrete, floor of packed dirt. the part of your mind still working
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on an intellectual level finds this funny, cliché.
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That's also the part of your mind that notices the default settings for
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sensoria and collision in this room are much, much different than the
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previous room. Full sensation, with collision detection algorithms
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turned way down.
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A room set for battle.
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You grin wildly.
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*Good,* you think. *Let it hurt. This 'exhibition' goes way beyond what
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it should.*
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Dear only growls.
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There's no circling, not yet. You two simply collide and have at each
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other. You with punching fists and knees attempting to find a groin (the
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fox is genderless, you guess, but perhaps that still hurts). Dear with
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blunt, scratching claws and not-so-blunt teeth.
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You have the advantage of size, and Dear has the advantage of speed. And
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teeth and claws worth wielding.
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It leads to an even draw in the first match, until you fall back from
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each other and do the circling. Dear has lost all sense of humanity, to
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your eyes: hunched over like some werewolf out of a movie, fancy shirt
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torn, tail frizzed and lashing about, claws and teeth bared, slavering.
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For your part, you fall back on what little you know of martial arts
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(mostly knowledge gleaned from fiction media, if you're honest). You
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keep your back away from the fox, keep your fists up to guard your face,
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keep slightly turned to minimize your profile.
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You lunge.
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Dear lunges a heartbeat later, and you press your advantage with a kick.
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Your foot impacts the fox in the side, just above the pelvis.
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Dear lets out a satisfying --- and satisfyingly inhuman --- yelp of
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pain, collapsing on the dirt of the floor and whining for a moment.
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You move to kick it again, but it rolls to the side and staggers back to
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its feet, landing a good swipe of its claws along your cheek and up over
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your ear, tearing flesh.
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Shaking your head to try and dislodge the spinning sensation of jarred
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senses, you stumble back to press your back against the wall and gain
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yourself a moment.
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Dear does not permit this. The fox scrambles after you, deceptively
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quick, and leaps toward you, aiming to land with both its feet (or
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footpaws?) and paws against you, mouth open wide to bite.
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You try to roll to the left but don't quite make it all the way away.
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Dear's right paw catches on your shoulder while it's left softens its
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landing against the concrete of the wall before latching up around your
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neck.
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It's an inopportune angle, but you feel it bite at you anyway, getting
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most of your shoulder at the base of your neck.
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The pain of it's teeth lodging in your skin is enough to make you cry
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out. Its got enough of your soft tissue in its muzzle that the contact
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is solid and, despite your attempts, you can't swing it free.
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You feel its right arm slip away and are too busy trying to gain the
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advantage to realize why until the paw swings back in front of you.
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When you see the syringe, you panic and fork.
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As does Dear, and now there are two of you, two fights, two dances.
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You scramble frantically to get away from the fennec, but its grip
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around your neck with its arm and its teeth is too strong.
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You raise both hands to block the syringe as it darts inward, hoping to
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either knock it out of Dear's paws or at least buy yourself some room to
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squirm away from the fox.
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You're too sluggish, too clumsy. After all, it doesn't matter where the
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syringe lands. It's only a sigil, an item holding a bunch of code.
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A bunch of code that will attempt to crash your instance.
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The syringe strikes you square in the sternum just as you force Dear's
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arms away.
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The fox immediately quits.
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Fading, leaving you to crumple.
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The world around you dissolves into voxels, each of which steadily gets
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larger and larger
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The voxels step down in intensity until they fade to a dull grey.
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Dying is no quiet affair. It's loud, painful. Surprisingly so.
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Your instance, this body, is crashing in spectacular fashion. Every last
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bit of your sensorium is lit up like a Christmas tree, but the pain goes
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beyond that. It's a pain of existence, of the need to continue existing.
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Those expanding rings of colored black speed up. The black somehow
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increases in brightness. You cry out into it.
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Perhaps this is why you were instructed to send a forked instance.
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Fin.
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Fin for now.
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Fin for this you.
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-----
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But, but, always another but.
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But there is more than that you. You forked, after all, yes?
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Yes.
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Yes, and your heart falls as you see that you crumple.
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There is more than that one Dear, too. You see, this is the danger of
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love stories. This is the danger these days. Time is funny. Space is
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funny. Nonlinearity was always the warp and woof of the world, but now
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your face is rubbed in it, the multitudinous aspects of post-humanity
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ground up against your nose in some strange punishment.
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To your relief, that second Dear also quits.
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Moving faster than you thought you could, as though some latent instinct
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had kicked in, you swing your arm up across your front and strike Dear's
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forearm square on with the bony ridge of your own arm.
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The syringe goes scattering. You tear away from Dear and leap after it.
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Scrabbling on the ground, you catch sight of the syringe as it
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dematerializes.
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Objects only do that when their owners quit.
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You whirl around just in time to see the hazy, ephemeral shadow of Dear
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fading away.
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The fox quit.
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You let out a yell of triumph.
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And now you're alone.
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You stumble back to the wall and sag against it, breathing heavily and
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assessing the damage. A few minor scratching here and there, and then
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the two major wounds: the scratch up along your cheek and across your
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ear and the bite against your neck with its several small puncture
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wounds.
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You set to work patching yourself. You fork from a point just before the
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fight, explain to the instance that you need to fix, that you'd like it
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to merge and retain all of your memories and experiences.
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This takes only a few seconds.
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Once you're finished, another instance of Dear appears. On closer
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inspection, it appears to be the original version of Dear. Dear-prime,
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or something.
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You've calmed down enough that you don't immediately leap at it, though
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you do drop into a defensive stance.
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It smiles kindly, saying, *"You may calm down, now."*
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"Like hell," you growl.
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*"No, seriously. Remember where you are. This is an exhibition. This is
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an exhibit."* It gestures to the room. *"You're an audience member. Even
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audience members have roles to play."*
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You furrow your brow. So wrong-footed are you, the rolling boil of your
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anger drops almost immediately to a simmer. "Like a play..."
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*"Like a play."*
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"So you knew we'd fight?"
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*"I knew a fight **might** happen. I encouraged a fight to **actually**
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happen."*
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You raise your fists again, but you feel the changes in the room.
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Collision algorithms back on conservative, sensoria turned down. "You
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encouraged a fight?"
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*"Mmhm."* Dear --- perhaps even Dear-prime --- nods and strolls casually
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about the room. *"You didn't make it to the unwinding room, so I'll
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explain here. Stress is the easiest way to force decisions to be made. I
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forced you to decide, didn't I? I forced you to interact with an
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instance, and I'm forcing you to interact with me, now. Two instances,
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two interactions."*
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It walks over to a wall and gives it a push. A panel of concrete swings
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aside to reveal a set of stairs. It gestures, smiling kindly. *"There's
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more to it, but a good artist never explains. Artistry lies in the
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perception, and someone's watching."*
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At that, it quits.
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You drop your arms and sigh, thinking for a moment before heading for
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the stairs.
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-----
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But now, we're back at the beginning, aren't we? We're back to that
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first fork, when it all seemed so simple. We're back to the choice of
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the two doors, and the other instance of yours, that one follows the
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other Dear through the door to the left.
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You, smirking, take the right.
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The room you wind up in is smaller even than the foyer, and the
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ticket-holders have to press even closer together. The audience that
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winds up here is the most diverse, containing the entire group of
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Taskers who wound up at this (apparently primarily Dispersionista)
|
|
event. As such, the press is met with uncomfortable silence: one doesn't
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normally talk about dissolution strategies with strangers, but Dear has
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deftly forced it to be an issue.
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There's no sign on the fox's face that it knows what it has done. Just
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that calm, polite smile. Curious. How can one know that a fox is smiling
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rather than snarling or something, much less that the smile is polite.
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Perhaps styled after those old cartoons of anthropomorphic animals, or
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simply just an impression.
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*"Thank you. Much cozier in here."*
|
|
|
|
Right.
|
|
|
|
The Taskers do not look cozy.
|
|
|
|
You suppose it makes sense. There are bits of this that appeal to all:
|
|
forking for a specific purpose, instances accomplishing goals. This was
|
|
flagrant abuse of that in their eyes, however, given that these
|
|
instances will likely move on and live their own lives. Independent,
|
|
individual instances.
|
|
|
|
*"I would like to elaborate on my previous point,"* Dear says. *"This
|
|
opening is about the idea of instance creation as art, and in that
|
|
sense, it's the easiest job I've ever had. Instance creation is art."*
|
|
|
|
It holds up one paw as though to forestall further conversation. *"All
|
|
instance creation. This show is about utilizing that consciously, but
|
|
all instance creation is art. It is structured experience. The Taskers,
|
|
and I believe you're all here?"* Dear smiles kindly. *"The Taskers are
|
|
the tightest adherents to structure. The most baroque."*
|
|
|
|
Still holding its paw up, Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled forks
|
|
once more, an identical copy of itself appearing standing just next to
|
|
the original. The instance quickly quits and dissipates. An example,
|
|
perhaps.
|
|
|
|
*"The goal of this exhibition isn't to just talk about that, though,
|
|
it's to explore the creative limits of forking as art."*
|
|
|
|
Dear forks once more, but this time into two additional instances. One
|
|
short, lithe human, holding up its hand just as the original instance
|
|
still holds up its paw. And on the other side of Dear, a small animal
|
|
--- smaller than you expected, the size of a small cat --- that you
|
|
suppose is the fennec mentioned in the program, colored in creamy tan
|
|
fur. It becomes clear that the primary Dear is a synthesis between the
|
|
two.
|
|
|
|
The human Dear reaches out to shake one of the audience members hands
|
|
while the fox dashes toward the crowd, weaving its way between legs in a
|
|
good simulacrum of an animal attempting to escape.
|
|
|
|
Something about the fennec catches your eye as it dashes quickly through
|
|
the crowd. It doesn't seem to be following any pattern, but its motions
|
|
remain purposeful. It seems to be...perhaps, making eye contact with
|
|
each person in the room?
|
|
|
|
And then it comes to you.
|
|
|
|
And it looks up to you.
|
|
|
|
And winks.
|
|
|
|
Can fennecs do that?
|
|
|
|
The strange critter holds your gaze for longer than some wild animal
|
|
should, or so it feels, but the moment is broken by the soft sound of
|
|
Dear clearing its throat at the front of the room.
|
|
|
|
*"The next room is just through here. If you'll follow me, please."*
|
|
|
|
It's difficult to deny the tiny critter before you, to tear your eyes
|
|
away from it. Easy enough to forget that its an instance of Dear as it
|
|
leads the tour onwards. Perhaps if you could just dally a little and get
|
|
a closer look before moving on.
|
|
|
|
And then the explosion happens.
|
|
|
|
A shuddering bang and sudden flood of smoke behind and to your right
|
|
makes up your mind for you.
|
|
|
|
Turning, you find that the fennec has skittered away to the left. As the
|
|
shouts of those nearest the banging noise and cloud of smoke rise up,
|
|
you find yourself doing the same, following out of a sense of instinct
|
|
rather than anything resembling logic.
|
|
|
|
Cliché as it is, the lights go out. Perfect.
|
|
|
|
You, daring, intrigued, perhaps a bit upset, fork. You follow. You keep
|
|
heading left, where the fennec was going, pushing past scrambling
|
|
attendees to get to the wall. The left wall, you reason, is a shared
|
|
wall with the other room, the one which the other Dear had led the other
|
|
half of the group through. There's probably a door between the two,
|
|
though you hadn't had the chance to get a look, or perhaps you could
|
|
break through.
|
|
|
|
The smoke thickens. It has a lemony, sulfurous smell that, although it's
|
|
never something you've smelled before, makes you think of bullets,
|
|
grenades, gunpowder.
|
|
|
|
In the dim light and confusion, you find the wall by abruptly slamming
|
|
into it. Indeed, there's a door a few hand-spans away, and a tiny
|
|
critter with big ears scratching frantically at it.
|
|
|
|
You shuffle quickly over to the door, barely able to see for the smoke
|
|
and dimness, and grab at the handle, praying that it's unlocked.
|
|
|
|
The handle turns.
|
|
|
|
You fall through.
|
|
|
|
It's a strange sensation to step from a cramped, crowded, loud, dark,
|
|
and smoky room into such a space as this.
|
|
|
|
The fall you took couldn't have been more than a few feet, but even now,
|
|
your senses still feel knocked slightly out of place. To have a space
|
|
like this, one that's bigger on the inside than on the outside, or
|
|
outside when it should be indoors, underground, is certainly possible.
|
|
It's easy. It's just also considered incredibly rude. In most sims, it's
|
|
even illegal. In this one, you vaguely remember hearing that it requires
|
|
a permit.
|
|
|
|
But here you are.
|
|
|
|
You and a tiny fennec.
|
|
|
|
You and a lapis sky.
|
|
|
|
You and endless green fields.
|
|
|
|
You and a sunny day.
|
|
|
|
Outside *and* a sunny day.
|
|
|
|
The fennec, which had been grooming itself after the flight from the
|
|
explosion, gives you what can only be a smirk and another wink, and
|
|
starts heading off away from where the door ought to have been but is no
|
|
longer.
|
|
|
|
Nothing for it.
|
|
|
|
You follow along after the tan beast, the fox looking minuscule amid the
|
|
endless grass, nothing but its ears sticking up above the stalks. It
|
|
looks out of place amid the green of the grass.
|
|
|
|
The ground had looked flat at first, but that seems to have just been
|
|
the grass all growing to about the same height. Beneath the grass, you
|
|
keep rolling your ankle over tussocks and failures in the earth,
|
|
stumbling over the fact that the grownd the grass is growing on is
|
|
annoyingly uneven.
|
|
|
|
The fennec winds its way amid these tufts, having an easier time of
|
|
things with dainty paws.
|
|
|
|
Your mind fills with stories, of magical animals, of sleeping for years
|
|
and waking up to see the world vastly change. You start to think of the
|
|
fennec as its own entity, something completely separate from Dear, from
|
|
the exhibition you just left.
|
|
|
|
*"You're one tenacious fuck, you know that?"*
|
|
|
|
You look around, some part of you unwilling to believe that the voice
|
|
came from the fennec. You had forgotten, lost in your fantasies, that
|
|
the fennec was still Dear.
|
|
|
|
*"Yeah, me."* The fennec continued its dainty walk. *"I say 'tenacious
|
|
fuck' lovingly, of course. I like you. You've got pluck. Gumption.
|
|
Another you forked in another place, another time. We fought. We kind of
|
|
fell for each other. It was fun."*
|
|
|
|
"Another...?"
|
|
|
|
*"Not much in the way of brains, though."*
|
|
|
|
You roll your eyes. The fennec grins.
|
|
|
|
*"You know you were told to send an instance to the exhibition, right?"*
|
|
the fennec asks, casually.
|
|
|
|
"Yeah," you respond, wary of traps.
|
|
|
|
*"So why not quit?"*
|
|
|
|
"Hmm?"
|
|
|
|
*"Why not quit? Why not merge back with your..."* The fennec pauses and
|
|
gives you and appraising glance, *"With your \#tracker instance?"*
|
|
|
|
You shrug helplessly, realizing the two of you have come to a halt at
|
|
the base of a hillock, a rough cave dug into its side. The fennec sits
|
|
primly. "This is...this is an exhibition about instances as art, isn't
|
|
it?"
|
|
|
|
The fennec gives a short bark of laughter, looking perhaps most feral at
|
|
that moment. *"It is, isn't it? Just thought you'd see it through, hmm?
|
|
This exhibit?"*
|
|
|
|
You nod. You feel ill-prepared for this.
|
|
|
|
*"I won't lie to you, then. This exhibit,"* and the fennec nods toward
|
|
the horizon, toward the cave, toward you. *"This exhibit is just a
|
|
frame. It's just a canvas. You're the exhibit. You're the art."*
|
|
|
|
You catch yourself nodding once again and attempt a more graceful
|
|
response. "There's a lot of shows where the audience becomes the cast."
|
|
|
|
*"I suppose."* The fennec settles down onto its belly, stretching out.
|
|
*"That's one way to think of it, yes. I'm not fond of the play metaphor.
|
|
Exhibit works better for me and the way I think, since I know who's
|
|
watching."*
|
|
|
|
Just as you begin to respond, the fennec quits. This sim, as a whole,
|
|
provides a courtesy feature of a faint outline existing and then fading
|
|
after a quit, crash, or failure. That just means you get to fume in the
|
|
direction of a slowly fading outline of a fennec, standing at the mouth
|
|
of the cave.
|
|
|
|
The fennec's right, though, you could just quit.
|
|
|
|
But *you're* right, too, you think. You want to see how instances become
|
|
art.
|
|
|
|
"Cave it is, then," you say, as though this is some sort of
|
|
choose-your-own-adventure book or roleplaying game and you have to
|
|
follow the available exits.
|
|
|
|
Ah well.
|
|
|
|
As far as caves go, this one is rather unremarkable.
|
|
|
|
You laugh at yourself for having such a thought. The life you've chosen
|
|
for yourself does not include many caves.
|
|
|
|
You drop to your knees, brushing a hand through the last vestiges of the
|
|
faint outline of that shitty fox, and crawl past the entrance of the
|
|
cave.
|
|
|
|
It is unremarkable in that it is almost cartoonish in construction. A
|
|
low hillock with a rough hole bored in the side, rocks protruding here
|
|
and there, worms and roots dangling from the ceiling. Always large
|
|
enough to crawl through on all fours, but never enough to stand up in.
|
|
|
|
*The construction is actually quite well thought out,* you muse. *At
|
|
least, as far as cramped spaces go.*
|
|
|
|
As soon as the cave turns a corner and the light of day behind you is
|
|
lost to view, it all seems rather less inviting than it did before. The
|
|
air was still before, but now it's stale; cool and moist has become
|
|
humid and sticky.
|
|
|
|
It's difficult to say whether the walls are closing in or whether that's
|
|
just claustrophobia setting an assertive hand on your shoulder.
|
|
|
|
You crawl on.
|
|
|
|
The ground starts to rise, and at last you think you may be nearing the
|
|
other side of the hillock. Perhaps, given the non-Euclidean layout of
|
|
the exhibit, an entry back in, or at least back out.
|
|
|
|
The tunnel keeps rising.
|
|
|
|
The tunnel keeps going.
|
|
|
|
Rocks dig into knees and palms
|
|
|
|
And you keep climbing.
|
|
|
|
Up and through
|
|
|
|
You climb.
|
|
|
|
Nearly vertical.
|
|
|
|
And, to your relief, it grows lighter.
|
|
|
|
You hasten.
|
|
|
|
Up and out.
|
|
|
|
And fall.
|
|
|
|
And fall onto the street.
|
|
|
|
Looking around, you see the building housing the exhibition just behind
|
|
you. you hunt for the front door. An instance of Dear putters around
|
|
just past the glass doors, picking up programs and generally tidying up
|
|
the place.
|
|
|
|
You go to give the doors a try, but they're locked.
|
|
|
|
That's why you looped back around, isn't it? To confront that shitty fox
|
|
once more and ask it what it meant by *"who's watching"*.
|
|
|
|
You just want to shake that--
|
|
|
|
You're fuming, you realize.
|
|
|
|
You sit down on the curb, taking a moment first to relish the anger, the
|
|
self-righteous feeling of bolstered confidence. Then you work on calming
|
|
down.
|
|
|
|
There won't be a fox to confront, and it's as Dear had said: this space
|
|
wasn't the exhibit, but the frame. That means you were the exhibit.
|
|
|
|
Dear ignores you. Your evaluation of 'shitty fox' is reinforced.
|
|
|
|
You wait.
|
|
|
|
You sit after the wait grows long.
|
|
|
|
You ponder visiting another bar.
|
|
|
|
You lose track of time.
|
|
|
|
Eventually, you hear voices from the side of the building. Familiar
|
|
voices. Your friends. Still dirty from the cave, you despair.
|
|
|
|
You quit.
|
|
|
|
-----
|
|
|
|
But, ah, there was more than one choice made that night, wasn't there?
|
|
You forked again, didn't you? You, rascal that you are, followed that
|
|
fennec, but you also did not.
|
|
|
|
The fennec skitters off toward the explosion, toward the shared wall
|
|
between the split rooms, and you have already sent a version of you
|
|
after it. You want to follow, but you also don't want to deal with
|
|
explosions.
|
|
|
|
Neither does anyone else, apparently, as the tight quarters in the room
|
|
quickly leads to a crush and stampede toward the door that Dear has
|
|
opened.
|
|
|
|
Into which you are forced.
|
|
|
|
The crush is far more intense than expected, as you find both halves of
|
|
the audience rejoined and dumped back into a dark and already crowded
|
|
room.
|
|
|
|
Already crowded with several instances.
|
|
|
|
Dear has forked itself several times and each of those instances are
|
|
forking again, until there's easily twice as many instances of Dear as
|
|
there are audience members.
|
|
|
|
The noise doubles and then doubles again as the instances start charging
|
|
at and pinning audience members against each other and the walls,
|
|
herding and shouting, all with bloodshot eyes, bared fangs, inhuman
|
|
snarls.
|
|
|
|
It's loud and dark and panicky.
|
|
|
|
Some try forking. And the new instances are ganged up upon, charged at,
|
|
with twice the intensity as the parent instances.
|
|
|
|
You realize that these instances of Dear are not actually attacking to
|
|
harm the audience. There are no syringes, no coercion to quit. Just
|
|
exercising, violently, the collision detection algorithms in the room,
|
|
which are still set safe.
|
|
|
|
The intensity within this room is nearly overwhelming, and you find
|
|
yourself shrinking toward the walls, if only to escape from the noise
|
|
and motion on one side.
|
|
|
|
A few others seem to have the same idea, shifting their ways toward the
|
|
walls of the room. They're met with little resistance.
|
|
|
|
In fact, the instances of Dear seem to be encouraging it, growling and
|
|
barking and yelling as they herd the audience to the outsides of the
|
|
room.
|
|
|
|
You make it to the wall with relatively little trouble, and are
|
|
surprised only to be jabbed in the back with a doorknob.
|
|
|
|
Keeping an eye on the action and the aggressive instances of the artist,
|
|
you slip a hand back behind you to turn the knob.
|
|
|
|
The room you find yourself in couldn't be more different. It's a room
|
|
where one might feel quite bad shouting and hollering, and most of the
|
|
audience gets that at once, quieting down.
|
|
|
|
It helps, of course, that the combative instances of Dear remain behind
|
|
in the previous room, only herding the remaining audience members toward
|
|
the door. It's a curious dichotomy of violence in one room and in the
|
|
other, well...
|
|
|
|
Opulence isn't quite the right word. Softness, perhaps? Gentle, relaxed,
|
|
soothing.
|
|
|
|
The room has muted lights --- brighter than the previous room but still
|
|
decidedly dim --- and soft, amorphous furniture, none meant to be
|
|
occupied individually. The light is cool, the color scheme a soothing
|
|
set of blues without being annoying about it.
|
|
|
|
Dear --- Dear-prime, perhaps, as it doesn't have any of the frothy
|
|
bloodlust look about it --- smiles disarmingly and urges the audience
|
|
into the room.
|
|
|
|
Another difference: there's plenty of space to spread out here, rather
|
|
than the previous overcrowded rooms.
|
|
|
|
*"Please, please, take a seat,"* it offers politely. *"Please sit. The
|
|
stressful portion of the exhibition is over, and now it's time that we
|
|
had a talk."*
|
|
|
|
There's some grumbling, stress indeed. Some still look warily at the
|
|
artist. But folks do as they're told, splitting off into their little
|
|
subgroups. Couples and threesomes wind up on couches and love-seats (if
|
|
the blobby furniture could be called such) while larger groups wind up
|
|
on melty-looking beanbags. You and your group, all single, find a
|
|
cluster of such furniture and scatter to the component pieces. You wind
|
|
up with a love-seat to yourself and make yourself comfortable.
|
|
|
|
Dear follows along with the groups. All of them. Forking as they split
|
|
off towards the clusters of furniture so that each group winds up with
|
|
its own instance of the fox. You notice that each instance is fluffier,
|
|
softer, a touch heavier than the original. As a scheme to make the
|
|
artist seem friendlier, it works pretty well. The new instances nearly
|
|
exude kindness.
|
|
|
|
You marvel, for a moment, at how easily folks seem to take being shifted
|
|
from the context of violence to the context of comfort. That there are a
|
|
majority of Dispersionistas certainly explains part of it. The rest, you
|
|
suspect, might be due to the fact that, despite those context shifts,
|
|
this all took place within the overarching setting of an art exhibit.
|
|
|
|
Those are meant to be safe.
|
|
|
|
Dear had said that instances were art, and perhaps that really is the
|
|
case: perhaps it's like those plays where the audience plays a role.
|
|
Perhaps you and your friends, all of the audience, are the art. Perhaps
|
|
Dear only hung the frames.
|
|
|
|
As if summoned by your thoughts alone, an instance of Dear pads up to
|
|
your group and, by your leave, settles down on the cushions beside you.
|
|
If it amped up the friendliness of its build, it doubled that with its
|
|
face. Teeth muted, whiskers full and slicked back, eyes bigger and
|
|
friendlier, ears gone from large to almost comical.
|
|
|
|
*"Once again, I must apologize for that stress,"* it murmurs to your
|
|
group, voice low.
|
|
|
|
Silence. You decide to speak up.
|
|
|
|
"What was the reasoning for that? Were we playing a part, like in a
|
|
play?" you guess.
|
|
|
|
The fox smiles, *"You could say that, I suppose. I prefer the term
|
|
exhibit, though, as it implies that someone is watching, that you are
|
|
being looked at."*
|
|
|
|
It makes a graceful setting-aside gesture before you can question it on
|
|
that, continuing, *"Stress is a means of forcing individuals to make
|
|
decisions. If there hadn't been real stress, real risk--"* Again, it
|
|
raises a hand to forestall objections. *"--then there wouldn't have been
|
|
real art to be made. Your calling it a play is accurate in that sense,
|
|
in that plays are art made in real time. This is also that. Structured
|
|
experience happening in real time."*
|
|
|
|
It's easy to feel intrigued: the art itself is intriguing. Beyond that,
|
|
though, *Dear* is intriguing.
|
|
|
|
Dear, with its choice of form.
|
|
|
|
Dear with its mastery of the mutation algorithms used during forking.
|
|
|
|
Dear with its casual refusal to conform.
|
|
|
|
"So what do *you* get out of this, then? This art?"
|
|
|
|
Dear grins and leans back into the couch, its tail flicking out of the
|
|
way and arm draping along the back --- an almost familiar gesture
|
|
toward. One that you can't help but notice. One that even your friends
|
|
can't help but notice.
|
|
|
|
*"That, my friend, is a very good question."*
|
|
|
|
"And do you have an answer?"
|
|
|
|
*"Not a good one,"* it shrugs, ineloquent. *"Not yet, at least."*
|
|
|
|
You grin back, "Well? What do you have so far?"
|
|
|
|
Dear laughs. Your friends roll their eyes.
|
|
|
|
*"Part of it's integral to us. To all of the 'me's here, to all of the
|
|
Ode Clade, to so many Dispersionistas, and, to some extent, to all those
|
|
except perhaps the most conservative of conservatives."* It furrows its
|
|
brow as if digging for words, *"It's evolving. Identity, I mean. It's
|
|
moving beyond the romantic concept of self."*
|
|
|
|
"Is that why you're not hu-" You stop yourself short, thinking on its
|
|
words. "Is that why you've taken the shape of a...a fennec, was it?"
|
|
|
|
Dear turns itself to sit cross-legged on the love-seat facing you. You
|
|
find yourself doing so as well, almost subconsciously.
|
|
|
|
Your friends stand up.
|
|
|
|
Dear-Prime, at the center of the room, calls out in a soft voice, *"The
|
|
next exhibits are just this way. If you'll follow me..."*
|
|
|
|
Dear reaches out a paw and rests it atop one of your hands, *"We can
|
|
stay and chat a bit more. Don't worry,"* it grins. *"I'm running this
|
|
show, I make the rules."*
|
|
|
|
Your friends are grumbling, already moving to follow Dear-prime to the
|
|
next room.
|
|
|
|
You shrug. Carefully, though, as you're finding yourself loath to
|
|
displace Dear's paw from atop your hand. "Sure, why not? Came for the
|
|
exhibition, after all. Might as well get the most of it."
|
|
|
|
You shrug once more, this time to your group, make no sign of getting
|
|
up.
|
|
|
|
They hesitate for a moment, then, frowning, give a dismissive gesture
|
|
and wander off to the next room.
|
|
|
|
"So. Fennecs."
|
|
|
|
*"Fennecs,"* Dear agrees. *"Though one must be careful to specify
|
|
anthropomorphic. Real fennecs are quite small as you remember."*
|
|
|
|
Dear forks and a fennec --- hardly a double-handful of fuzzy critter ---
|
|
appears between you, bridging your knees, back paws on Dear's knee and
|
|
front paws on yours. It's tan, rather than iridescent white, and holds
|
|
far less humanity about it.
|
|
|
|
You raise a hand, but it quits before you can touch it.
|
|
|
|
*"This is intentional. I'm not a fennec. I rather like them, of course,
|
|
but I'm not one. I'm an amalgam. I'm something more. Or rather, we all
|
|
are, and I'm trying to embody it."*
|
|
|
|
"So you're greater than the sum of the parts," you hazard. "Fennec and
|
|
human?"
|
|
|
|
*"It'd be better to say that we're all more than human. We may be
|
|
post-human, as the old saws would have it, but we're certainly now more
|
|
than the sum of the parts of our identities."* It grins, *"Fennec mostly
|
|
just because I like foxes, though. All the deep words in the world won't
|
|
hide that fact."*
|
|
|
|
You laugh, giving its paw a pat with your free hand, "Well, hey, if it
|
|
fits, might as well."
|
|
|
|
Dear grins. *"Think it does?"*
|
|
|
|
"Well, sure," you admit. "Just got me wondering what you get out of it."
|
|
|
|
You feel your hand drop as the fennec turns up the sensitivity of its
|
|
instance and turns down the rather conservative settings of the
|
|
collision detection algorithms. You hesitate for the moment, then do the
|
|
same, feeling the concomitant sensations of temperature and touch jump
|
|
in intensity.
|
|
|
|
*"Well, I get to be soft as hell."* It grins, *"Seriously, pet me. I
|
|
love being a fox sometimes if only for the physical contact."*
|
|
|
|
You laugh, although you feel yourself blushing as well. After a moment's
|
|
hesitation, you pet Dear's paw lightly with your hand.
|
|
|
|
It's soft. *Very* soft. You keep up those touches. It's hard to remember
|
|
the last time you felt fur.
|
|
|
|
*"All of my intellectual bullshit aside, I think it's very important to
|
|
remember the sensuality of senses."* Its eyes half-close in apparent
|
|
pleasure. *"When the system was built, there was a big debate as to
|
|
whether sensoria should be included at all, whether we should have sims
|
|
and rooms and things to look at and touch. Some of the more romantic
|
|
uploads argued loud enough that we overrode most of the objections. Pet
|
|
my ears, those are softer."*
|
|
|
|
You move to comply, then pause, tilting your head. "'We'?" you ask,
|
|
finishing the motion and brushing your fingertips over the back of one
|
|
of the ears once. Then again and again. Dear wasn't kidding about the
|
|
softness. You suspect it was a selfish request on its part, as the fox
|
|
ducks its chin to tilt its head toward your hands, leaning in closer.
|
|
|
|
*"'We', yes,"* it murmurs, somewhat muffled. *"The Ode Clade is quite
|
|
old."*
|
|
|
|
You think for a moment, then grin. "You describe them as romantic, but
|
|
talk of moving past romantic ideas of self."
|
|
|
|
*"Do I contradict myself?"* It is mumbling quietly now. *"Very well,
|
|
then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. Other ear,
|
|
if you please."*
|
|
|
|
You laugh, earnestly and easily. You slip your other hand from under
|
|
Dear's paw, and bring it up to stroke the back of the other ear. The
|
|
touch gets a shiver out of the fennec.
|
|
|
|
"Fennec fits," you say. "Or, at least, soft animal does. You seem to act
|
|
a little like how they say cats acted, though."
|
|
|
|
*"Meow,"* Dear offers, too content to sound sarcastic. *"Seriously.
|
|
There's room for romanticism and romance itself within post-modernism."*
|
|
|
|
You move the hand that was stroking the first ear to ruffle the fur
|
|
between the ears, laughing again and joking, "Romance, eh? You coming on
|
|
to me, then?"
|
|
|
|
It laughs along with and shrugs, *"Well, more like...you're the first
|
|
one to show interest in me, rather than the exhibition. And I've run
|
|
lots of exhibitions."*
|
|
|
|
Moving gracefully, it leans forward, up onto its knees, and then in
|
|
against your front, pushing you back against the armrest of the
|
|
loveseat. Its arms slip up around your shoulders. The move startles you
|
|
into hesitation, but after a moment, you settle your arms around the
|
|
fox's shoulders.
|
|
|
|
*"But I'm not **not** coming on to you."*
|
|
|
|
You're at a loss for words.
|
|
|
|
> I'm flattered, but--
|
|
|
|
Or maybe:
|
|
|
|
> You're sweet, you know--
|
|
|
|
You settle for silence and simply relaxing beneath Dear.
|
|
|
|
Warmth, softness. "Lonely?"
|
|
|
|
Dear settles with its muzzle resting alongside your neck. *"Mmhm."*
|
|
|
|
"Same here," you admit.
|
|
|
|
The fennec nuzzles in against your neck. Whiskers tickle, raise
|
|
goosebumps.
|
|
|
|
A moment of shared silence and touch. Your hands brush along the fox's
|
|
back, imagining how soft the fur might be beneath the dressy shirt.
|
|
Dear's blunt muzzle continues those soft rubs against your neck.
|
|
|
|
It leans up, nuzzling its way to your ear.
|
|
|
|
*"The only downside to being a fox,"* it murmurs, nose cool against the
|
|
rim of your ear. *"Is that it's really hard to kiss with a muzzle."*
|
|
|
|
And then it quits.
|
|
|
|
Your arms collapse against your front, through the ephemeral outline of
|
|
the fox that remains.
|
|
|
|
With a shout, you scramble off of the love-seat, shock forcing you to
|
|
stand in a defensive position.
|
|
|
|
The air is cold after the contact.
|
|
|
|
"D-Dear?" you stammer.
|
|
|
|
The room is empty.
|
|
|
|
It takes a moment for you to remember that you're within a gallery
|
|
exhibit. That Dear hung the frames in which you're the art.
|
|
|
|
How cynical of it, though, to build emotional rapport, to tease at the
|
|
edges of your feelings, questing at loneliness, and to leave, to do this
|
|
for art. You must admit it hurts.
|
|
|
|
You laugh, forced and bitter.
|
|
|
|
Lonely, indeed.
|
|
|
|
You turn your touch sensoria way down and head to the door.
|
|
|
|
-----
|
|
|
|
Numb --- or, that's not quite it, more like confused and in pain but
|
|
unwilling to feel either --- you shuffle into the final room. Seeing the
|
|
pointed ears of Dear over the heads of the crowd fills you with
|
|
strangely shaped emotions, which you set aside and move to rejoin your
|
|
friends. All of whom, it seems, are set on laughing at your expense.
|
|
|
|
Not helping.
|
|
|
|
A group of audience members next to you gives a shout and jumps away
|
|
from a spot in the floor as a panel begins a to lift up. A...trap door?
|
|
From it, a ragged and slightly dirty looking head peeks up.
|
|
|
|
Your head.
|
|
|
|
Your dirty, scraggly, frowning head. It looks upset, catches your eye,
|
|
and quits. A set of memories, new and fresh, awaits you, ready for
|
|
merge.
|
|
|
|
You try to get a peek of what's down the hole beneath the floor, but,
|
|
other than dirt and rock, you don't see anything before it slams shut.
|
|
|
|
"Fuck it," you mumble, and merge the memories blithely, ignoring any
|
|
potential conflicts. You're hungry for reasons to hate.
|
|
|
|
A panel in the side of the room gives way and folds back into a
|
|
corridor.
|
|
|
|
No, not a corridor, a staircase. From it steps another audience member,
|
|
another you, looking pale, shaken. They do not look as though they would
|
|
like to talk, though. Those around them look sullen at being rebuffed,
|
|
but that version of you doesn't seem to care.
|
|
|
|
You send a quick sensorium ping to them, instructing them to quit. They
|
|
do so.
|
|
|
|
You feel that hate begin to simmer.
|
|
|
|
Once all of the audience is brought back together in this whitewashed
|
|
room, with its exposed ceiling, you hear Dear's kind voice waft above
|
|
the heads, *"The final room of the exhibition is not participatory.
|
|
Please feel free to wander and explore. I-"* It pauses, forks a few
|
|
times, each instance smiling, and continues, *"We will be available for
|
|
questions and chit-chat. Finally, I would like to thank you all deeply
|
|
for attending this exhibition, and The Simien Fang School of Art and
|
|
Design for hosting it. SF welcomes you back to any future exhibitions."*
|
|
|
|
There is applause, then, but it's scattered, confused. Dear looks proud
|
|
at this.
|
|
|
|
You and your friends wander slowly through the room.
|
|
|
|
Its a square. Equidistant from the walls and each other are four
|
|
pedestal, with one more a positioned at the center. Each pedestal is
|
|
about waist-height and is just as white as the rest of the room. Images
|
|
float a few inches from the top of the one nearest you, so you and your
|
|
friends begin the circuit, wandering to inspect each pedestal in turn.
|
|
|
|
Each is labeled with a simple placard.
|
|
|
|
The Wanderer
|
|
------------
|
|
|
|
It's a surreal experience, watching your self, your actions, through
|
|
someone else's eyes. Sure, there are videos and such, but there's
|
|
something a little different about this. The way the 'camera' moves
|
|
is...well, it's not a camera. There's no way it could be a camera.
|
|
|
|
It has to be Dear.
|
|
|
|
You watch more closely as the recording loops. It starts with a flash, a
|
|
point of view very close to the ground. Lots of ankles. Shoes.
|
|
|
|
Then it moves, quickly and jauntily, dashing among feet and shoes,
|
|
pausing to look up into faces. Most give it only cursory glances,
|
|
apparently unsure of how to take this tiny animal moving among them. A
|
|
few refuse to look at it, clearly disconcerted.
|
|
|
|
Then there's your face. You look more curious than anything, trying to
|
|
figure out this thing before you. The you here, now, stares back into
|
|
your eyes through the playback.
|
|
|
|
You hold your breath.
|
|
|
|
There's the explosion.
|
|
|
|
The viewpoint skitters off to the side (lots of ankles, here) and toward
|
|
a wall. It seeks out the molding on the floor at the base of the wall,
|
|
then the corner where that meets the molding of a doorjamb. There's its
|
|
place. It scrabbles at the door, waiting for you, knowing you'll come.
|
|
|
|
And there's your shoes, with less dirt on them than they have now, and
|
|
then the door swings open. The viewpoint leaps through, into sun and
|
|
grass, with the shoes (and the rest of you) falling after.
|
|
|
|
Until now, the playback had been silent, but directed speakers start to
|
|
project a little bit of audio, muffled.
|
|
|
|
*"You're one tenacious fuck, you know that?"* you hear the fennec's
|
|
voice from the speakers. Everyone but you laughs.
|
|
|
|
You hear your discussion with the fennec, heavily obscured by the
|
|
crunching of grass and the occasional grunts from yourself as the two of
|
|
you make your way through the field. Your discussion on the meaning of
|
|
exhibit, of medium, of art versus frame.
|
|
|
|
The video slides slowly lower to the ground as the fennec stretches out,
|
|
then goes dark.
|
|
|
|
Repeats.
|
|
|
|
There's a touch of resentment, you feel. That Dear had somehow managed
|
|
to record a portion of its sensorium (was that even possible?) and was
|
|
playing it back to these strangers.
|
|
|
|
The Rebel
|
|
---------
|
|
|
|
This pedestal contains a fairly short loop, more obviously taken from a
|
|
conventional security feed.
|
|
|
|
It's hard to discern what happens at first. It mostly looks like a bunch
|
|
of people standing still, and then, as if on cue, freaking out.
|
|
|
|
A closer look, and you feel your cheeks go red. You know what's going to
|
|
happen.
|
|
|
|
There's you.
|
|
|
|
And there's your forked instance.
|
|
|
|
And there's Dear's forked instance.
|
|
|
|
And then chaos as Dear deftly moves the room into strife.
|
|
|
|
Then the recording loops.
|
|
|
|
You swallow hard, knowing what's going to come next. You avert your gaze
|
|
from the pedestal as you watch the chaos begin again. Your friends jeer
|
|
at you, but you don't feel proud at having done what you did.
|
|
|
|
The Fighter
|
|
-----------
|
|
|
|
As you catch a glimpse of the next pedestal on approach you wince, both
|
|
at remembered pain embarrassment. You had not known this would be the
|
|
next in line, but you had suspected.
|
|
|
|
The scene in this pedestal shows fighting, chaos.
|
|
|
|
Once again, this appears to be a sensorium recording (how had Dear
|
|
*done* that?), showing a fight that's far more well-choreographed than
|
|
you remember. Seeing it from Dear's point of view, it looks a lot more
|
|
like purposeful herding. The safety settings on that room had been so
|
|
high that that's about all it had been.
|
|
|
|
Then the instance's point of view gets whipped around to face you, your
|
|
face squarely in its vision.
|
|
|
|
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" You wince at the sound of
|
|
your voice, hoarse from excitement, profane, coming from those directed
|
|
speakers.
|
|
|
|
Then the fight begins in earnest.
|
|
|
|
You're dragged to the center of the room of the fight and then dropped
|
|
into the ring, those concrete walls and that dirt floor making your
|
|
remembered wounds ache.
|
|
|
|
This fight is less well choreographed. More jagged.
|
|
|
|
Except to you. You know.
|
|
|
|
The details play out on the pedestal with a cool, almost clinical
|
|
precision, holding none of the emotion that you had felt. The blows, the
|
|
circling, the jumps and scratches.
|
|
|
|
The syringe.
|
|
|
|
*"I had to mean to do it,"* says a soft voice next to you.
|
|
|
|
The fight isn't so far off, that anger not so much less than at a boil
|
|
that you don't still have a strong urge to deck the fox standing in
|
|
front of you.
|
|
|
|
It smiles, almost sadly. *"If I didn't mean to do it, you would have
|
|
been confused. Maybe there would be victory, but it would've been empty
|
|
and hollow."* Dear shrugs, offers an apologetic smile. *"Confusion is
|
|
not what was called for, in this exhibit. Victory or loss. Stress and
|
|
decisions."*
|
|
|
|
You take a breath. One of those intentional breaths, the ones where you
|
|
breathe out longer than you breathe in. "I think I understand why you
|
|
did it," you say, quiet and controlled. "I don't like it, but I think I
|
|
understand why."
|
|
|
|
Dear nods, offers a hint of a bow, and backs away, *"That's my job."*
|
|
|
|
It retreats into the crowd.
|
|
|
|
The Lover
|
|
---------
|
|
|
|
Seeing the cool blue hues of the scene above the next pedestal brings an
|
|
immediate and uncomfortable reaction. It feels like you swallowed a ball
|
|
the size of your fists and it's lodged itself behind your rib cage.
|
|
|
|
Embarrassment. Frustration. Anger. Loneliness. All in equal measure.
|
|
|
|
It makes you queasy.
|
|
|
|
The audience surrounding the pedestal gasps at something
|
|
|
|
"The instances aren't the art," one of your friends mumbles, and you
|
|
turn to them. They shrug. "I don't think so at least. I don't actually
|
|
know what the art is."
|
|
|
|
Someone from across the pedestal offers, "Maybe instances are the
|
|
brush?"
|
|
|
|
Laughter.
|
|
|
|
*"Instances the brush, emotion the paint,"* says a soft voice. Dear
|
|
stands attentively nearby. *"The art is...experiences?"*
|
|
|
|
"Was that a question?" your friend asks.
|
|
|
|
Dear shrugs. *"I don't make art because I know why,"* it says, bemused.
|
|
*"If I knew why, I wouldn't need to make art, then, would I?"*
|
|
|
|
"So you're a romantic?"
|
|
|
|
*"Perhaps you should watch the exhibit again."*
|
|
|
|
You approach the pedestal just as the loop begins again.
|
|
|
|
Once again, you're viewing a scene from Dear's point of view.
|
|
|
|
*"We can stay and chat a bit more,"* the fox says. *"Don't worry, I'm
|
|
running this show, I make the rules."*
|
|
|
|
You watch yourself shrug, say, "Sure, why not? Came for the exhibition,
|
|
after all. Might as well get the most of it."
|
|
|
|
When the instance of Dear looks around, you see that the room is almost
|
|
empty, the last folks, your friends, drifting out the door.
|
|
|
|
The conversation that follows is low on intensity and high on subtle,
|
|
emotional cues. You watch yourself and the fox have a slow and easy
|
|
conversation about 'why's.
|
|
|
|
The image of Dear looks down, and you see that it's paw is resting atop
|
|
yours.
|
|
|
|
You clench your fists.
|
|
|
|
You know that that instance was designed specifically to be likable,
|
|
approachable. The big eyes, the softened gaze, the larger ears. You know
|
|
that you walked right into that.
|
|
|
|
But hey, you were lonely and honest. You thought it was lonely and
|
|
honest.
|
|
|
|
That feeling in your chest becomes a constriction, frustration and anger
|
|
winning out.
|
|
|
|
You watch the whole scene again, this time from the other point of view.
|
|
You watch your own face as it slowly opens up, as you discuss being a
|
|
fox, sensoria, post-modernism and romanticism. and romance.
|
|
|
|
You watch as the point of view rises, leans in closer to the you
|
|
pictured there on the pedestal, watch as it leans in close, into a hug
|
|
far more intimate than one would expect from someone one had just met,
|
|
two bars worth of drinks aside.
|
|
|
|
The viewpoint switches to somewhere above the fox and yourself on the
|
|
couch, though the audio stays close by.
|
|
|
|
*"The only downside to being a fox,"* says the instance of Dear, and you
|
|
turn around as casually as possible so that you don't have to watch. You
|
|
hear, all the same, *"Is that it's really hard to kiss with a muzzle"*
|
|
|
|
There's Dear, in front of you.
|
|
|
|
Not the softened overly-kind dear from the blue room. Just normal Dear.
|
|
Well, 'normal'. Dear-prime.
|
|
|
|
It's good because you figure the sight of the kind-Dear in this context
|
|
would've made you quite upset.
|
|
|
|
*"Was that unfair of me?"* it asks. It's done something to the room ---
|
|
unsurprising that it would have admin privileges in its own gallery,
|
|
come to think of it --- the two of you are in a cone of silence.
|
|
|
|
"I...well, yes." You try and count the layers of remove from the reality
|
|
of what you had experienced, try to calculate the cuils in your head.
|
|
The experience, the exhibit on the pedestal, talking to the artist.
|
|
|
|
You shake your head. Dear waits.
|
|
|
|
"I'd say you did an admirable job with the exhibition."
|
|
|
|
*"Admirable?"* It tilts his head, looking almost canine in that moment.
|
|
*"I set up a situation --- several, really --- in which audience members
|
|
feel emotions toward ephemeral constructs and made it art. I don't know
|
|
if that's admirable. It's just art."*
|
|
|
|
You begin to reply, but it cuts you short.
|
|
|
|
*"I'm an artist, that's what I do. I'm a person, though."* It's grin
|
|
looks weary, *"Also a fox-person, but a person. And I feel like I cut
|
|
too deep with that one. Was that unfair of me?"*
|
|
|
|
Your shoulders sag. Dear waits.
|
|
|
|
"I don't know," you admit. "I had a few drinks, the exhibit was
|
|
stressful. It was supposed to be stressful like you said. Just...it may
|
|
have been an act, but I fell for it pretty hard."
|
|
|
|
Dear waits. You feel discomfited.
|
|
|
|
"Look, it's just silly, is all. I don't even know why it affected me so
|
|
much," you trail off, trying to decide how much further to go on.
|
|
"Look," you repeat, shaking your head. "Was it true? What you said? Are
|
|
you lonely? Were you earnest? Were you coming on to me?"
|
|
|
|
Dear nods, simple and straightforward. *"It's perhaps easy for me to
|
|
talk about because I rehearsed hard for this shit, but yeah, I'm lonely
|
|
as hell. I fork to form relationships and keep myself...I mean, I don't
|
|
lie in my work if I can help it."*
|
|
|
|
It's your turn to wait, which discomfits Dear in turn.
|
|
|
|
*"I'm sorry,"* it says. *"I did cut too deep. Wasn't thinking. It's not
|
|
my goal with these things to damage anyone's trust in instances or in
|
|
me. It's just that I don't make art because I know why. If I knew why, I
|
|
wouldn't need to make art."*
|
|
|
|
The fox hesitates for a moment, then sighs. *"I feel really bad about
|
|
this. I'm sorry. I'd like to do what I can to regain your trust."*
|
|
|
|
The weight of decision hangs heavy around your neck, heavy enough to bow
|
|
your head. There's very little you feel you can say without making that
|
|
decision right then, so you stay silent for a moment.
|
|
|
|
Finally, "I feel like you're trying to ask me out."
|
|
|
|
*"I'm not **not** asking you out,"* Dear looks cautious. It smiles
|
|
faintly.
|
|
|
|
So do you.
|
|
|
|
"Listen, can you give me a night? Let me put some thought into it."
|
|
|
|
It nods. *"Fair. And listen, I really am sorry. There are bits of this
|
|
show that I wrote thinking that they'd lead to one thing, some
|
|
spectacular art, and they led to, er, this."*
|
|
|
|
You nod, saying, "I get that. Kind of like a choose-your-own-adventure
|
|
story that got a little out of hand."
|
|
|
|
Dear shrugs, *"I guess."* It hesitates for a moment, then draws a card
|
|
out of it's left pocket, reaching out with its right paw at the same
|
|
time, a perfectly formal business card exchange.
|
|
|
|
You grin and, on a whim, turn down your touch sensoria way up to accept
|
|
the card --- a flash of contact information and locations --- and shake
|
|
the fox's paw.
|
|
|
|
It's *very* soft.
|
|
|
|
The Medium
|
|
----------
|
|
|
|
The fifth pedestal, the one in the center of the room, is four
|
|
recordings playing at once.
|
|
|
|
They all feature you. They all feature the things that you did during
|
|
your time here in the exhibition. All of those sly forks and subtle
|
|
mergers.
|
|
|
|
*"Did you think I did not know?"* a soft voice says beside you.
|
|
|
|
You feel a heat rise to your cheeks. "I...I mean, I didn't--"
|
|
|
|
Dear holds up a paw, indicating silence. It seems fond of the gesture.
|
|
*"I knew."* It smiles. You find it a touch odd that the smile is simple
|
|
and kind, not sly and knowing, not triumphant, and you're not sure why.
|
|
*"I knew and expected it."*
|
|
|
|
"Is it okay?"
|
|
|
|
Dear laughs. *"Of course it is! This is a show on instance art. That's
|
|
why it's expected. That's why there's five small exhibits here, not
|
|
four."*
|
|
|
|
You smile tentatively.
|
|
|
|
*"That was a rather Dispersionista thing to do for a Tracker."*
|
|
|
|
"I may have had a few drinks before."
|
|
|
|
*"I suspect a good many of those here did."*
|
|
|
|
"So why did you allow it?"
|
|
|
|
Dear spreads its hands in a graceful gesture before clasping them at its
|
|
front once more. Its tail, you notice, is swaying behind it, steady.
|
|
*"You and I have talked about this."*
|
|
|
|
"I suppose we have," you mumble, still sorting through the merged
|
|
memories.
|
|
|
|
*"SF calls me an instance artist. Hell, I call myself an instance
|
|
artist, but it's not totally accurate. I'm closer to a director, though.
|
|
I organize the stage, the crew --- even if they're all me --- and the
|
|
choreography. You're the art though, or close enough to it. I won't say
|
|
audience, or actors. I don't like the play metaphor all that much, since
|
|
the art isn't in the acting. There is no acting."* It shrugs, *"But the
|
|
metaphor will serve."*
|
|
|
|
You nod, watching the multiple feeds play out in their own courses.
|
|
There's a card in your pocket, the dot on a question mark of an
|
|
unanswered question. None of these videos bring you any closer to an
|
|
answer.
|
|
|
|
After a few silent moments together, you ask Dear, "What are we supposed
|
|
to do with our experiences here?"
|
|
|
|
Dear grins. *"This isn't a lecture. No classroom, no notes, no papers to
|
|
write. It's not a tool that you take away to use,"* it pauses, that grin
|
|
going sly. *"And even if it were, that's your fucking job, not mine."*
|
|
|
|
-----
|
|
|
|
No one seems to have come out of the exhibit unscathed.
|
|
|
|
A few bear the rumpled look of the recently roughed-up, but with their
|
|
safety turned up, that's about as far as the physical effects go.
|
|
Rather, everyone within the group looks emotionally bruised, bitten,
|
|
scratched. Some look dazed, some hurt, but no one looks blasé.
|
|
|
|
In that, Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled was successful.
|
|
|
|
You and your group walk to another bar. Quiet, subdued.
|
|
|
|
You give the low-slung building a wide berth. Only you came away with
|
|
something. Two things. A card in your pocket, and a decision to make.
|