1616 lines
		
	
	
		
			59 KiB
		
	
	
	
		
			Markdown
		
	
	
	
	
	
			
		
		
	
	
			1616 lines
		
	
	
		
			59 KiB
		
	
	
	
		
			Markdown
		
	
	
	
	
	
| Gallery Exhibition
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| ==================
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| 
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| A night on the town. A bar for an aperitif. A light dinner at a modern
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| restaurant, one of those places with default sensoria settings that turn
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| up the taste inputs and turn down the visual inputs, so that you eat
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| intensely delicious food amidst a thick, purple fog. Another bar,
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| livelier and less painfully modern, for a digestif.
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| 
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| And...
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| 
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| Crowds. Crowds upon crowds. Your own crowd a cell within a supercrowd.
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| Instances drifting, or perhaps forced by momentum --- theirs or others'
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| --- along the thoroughfares of a nexus.
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| 
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| And...
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| 
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| A low slung building, a crowded foyer, fumbling for tickets.
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| 
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| And...
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| 
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| Waiting.
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| 
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| And...
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| 
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| Programs.
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| 
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| Explanations. Elucidations. Errata.
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| 
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| Words to chuckle over with your group of friends.
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| 
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| > Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled, of the Ode Clade is pleased to
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| > welcome you to its gallery opening. Tonight, it has prepared for you a
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| > modest exhibition of its works within the realm of instance artistry.
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| > This is presented at the culmination of its tenure as Fellow, though
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| > the name rankles, of Instance Art in the Simien Fang School of Art and
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| > Design.
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| 
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| And the sound of a door opening.
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| 
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| A short, slight...thing, steps from the next room through one of the two
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| doors on the far wall and calls for attention. To call it a person seems
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| almost misleading. It's a dog. A well-dressed dog? A glance further on
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| in the program offers a glib explanation:
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| 
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| > **The artist**
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| >
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| > This gallery exhibition serves as the capstone for Dear, Also, The
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| > Tree That Was Felled, of the Ode Clade in its role as fellow. The
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| > fellowship in instance art was created specifically for Dear in
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| > recognition of the excellence it brings to the field.
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| >
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| > Dear's instance is modeled after that of a now-extinct animal known as
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| > a fennec fox, a member of the vulpine family adapted to desert living.
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| > Dear has modified the original form to be more akin to that of humans.
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| > The iridescent white fur appears to have been a happy mistake.
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| 
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| Well.
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| 
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| That's a thing.
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| 
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| Anyway.
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| 
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| *"If I may have your attention, folks."* You're not sure how or why, but
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| it speaks in italics. It's...but that...nevermind. *"My signifier,
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| or...ah, name is Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled, or just Dear. I
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| come from the Ode Clade of Dispersionistas, and am a Fellow of Instance
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| Art at the Simien Fang School of Art and Design.*
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| 
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| *"An artist is, one might say, one who works with structured experience.
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| A play is art, as is music, as both are means of structuring experience
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| in a certain way.*
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| 
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| *"So, also, is instance art. It is a way of using dissolution and
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| merging in such a fashion that the experience of forking --- or of
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| witnessing forking,"* it gives a polite nod to the room. *"Becomes
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| structured, becomes art."*
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| 
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| *"Before we begin, I would like to take a small census of those present.
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| This is for your own sakes as well as for that of the artworks, such as
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| they are. We'll let them know. Could you please raise your hand if you
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| consider yourself a Tasker?"*
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| 
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| A scant few hands go up in the air, all huddled in one corner of the
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| room. Perhaps a group? A group of their own?
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| 
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| Uncomfortable titters waft through the...the audience? The ticket
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| holders, at least. Talking about dispersion strategies is not something
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| one usually does.
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| 
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| Dear holds its face composed in a calm, polite expression.
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| 
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| *"Trackers? Raise your hands, please."*
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| 
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| Of those who remained minus the Taskers, perhaps a third raise their
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| hands. Several individuals, a few distinct groups including your own.
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| That leaves well more than half belonging to ---
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| 
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| *"And Dispersionistas?"*
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| 
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| Sure enough, large numbers of hands lift into the air. The
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| Dispersionistas are a vast majority, and surround most everyone else in
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| the room, minus the Taskers, who remain off to their own side. The
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| audience seems to be mostly fans of the work."
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| 
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| Dear gives a brief blink, likely saving a tally of represented
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| dissolution strategies to some exocortex for other instances to access.
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| It smiles kindly at the audience, *"Thank you. Now, if you would be so
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| kind as to follow me, I will be happy to walk through the gallery with
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| you."*
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| 
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| Dear turns adroitly on its heel and without a moment's hesitation,
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| forks. A second, identical instance appears to its left and finishes
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| that turn in perfect synchrony.
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| 
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| A small wave of applause begins. To fork so casually and continue to
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| move in lockstep bespeaks no small amount of practice with the
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| procedure.
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| 
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| It doesn't last.
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| 
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| One instance of Dear (the original? maybe?) heads through the left-hand
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| door and the other (the fork? it's so hard to keep track with all these
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| people) steps through the right door.
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| 
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| -----
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| 
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| And here perhaps we must take a step back and acknowledge the fact that
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| this is all very strange, because it certainly is. Because it's
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| confusing. Because it's opaque. Because perhaps you aren't even sure
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| what these terms mean, even now. Because, like all love stories, it's so
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| very easy to get lost. Like all love stories it's told from multiple
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| angles. Like all love stories, despite time's true arrow, it
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| nevertheless is at its very core, nonlinear.
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| 
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| How do you remember it, these many years later? How do you take the fact
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| that so much happened simultaneously that night and you merged so
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| incautiously after that even your very own memories argue with you? How
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| do you square "love story" with "corrupted memories" and still love the
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| one you do?
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| 
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| You take a step back and acknowledge it.
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| 
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| You acknowledge it because you forked. You followed both Dears, damn the
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| consequences.
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| 
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| The room you wind up in is smaller even than the foyer, and the
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| ticket-holders have to press even closer together. The audience that
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| winds up here is the least diverse, containing none of the Taskers and
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| very few of the Trackers who wound up at this (apparently primarily
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| Dispersionista) event. As such, the press is met with uncomfortable
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| silence: one doesn't normally talk about dissolution strategies with
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| strangers, but Dear has deftly forced it to be an issue.
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| 
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| There's no sign on the fox's face that it knows what it has done. Just
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| that calm, polite smile. Curious. How can one know that a fox is smiling
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| rather than snarling or something, much less that the smile is polite.
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| Perhaps styled after those old cartoons of anthropomorphic animals, or
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| simply just an impression.
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| 
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| *"Thank you. Much cozier in here."*
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| 
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| Many of the proclaimed Dispersionistas are grinning at the trick, and
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| even several of the Trackers are smiling.
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| 
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| *"My only request is to not fork during the duration of the
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| exhibition,"* Dear continues, giving a knowing glance to some of the
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| Dispersionistas. *"Exigencies aside, of course."*
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| 
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| A thought crosses your mind. Perhaps it's the drinks, those hip and
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| strong aperitifs and too-sweet digestifs.
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| 
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| Well, hell. It's hard to take a fox standing on two legs seriously when
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| it gives you instructions
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| 
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| ...
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| 
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| This all seems rather ridiculous, when you take a look at it. Instances
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| as art?
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| 
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| ...
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| 
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| You're not as smooth as Dear, but you manage to step a little further
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| away from one of your friends, leaving enough room for you to bring into
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| existence your own second instance.
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| 
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| For a moment, you aren't sure quite what happens. After a second, things
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| start to click into place, though.
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| 
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| A mere fraction of a second after you forked, Dear also forked,
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| instructing its instance to come into existence in a space overlapping
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| the space that your instance already occupied. This sort of thing is
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| very much frowned upon and, in most public areas, impossible to even
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| pull off.
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| 
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| As it is, collision detection algorithms whine in protest and force the
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| two instances apart with some force, causing a cascading ripple of
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| collisions, spreading complaints of personal space. The room has safe
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| settings, at least, and the collision detection algos register a bump at
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| least a centimeter before one body touches another.
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| 
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| The Dear at the front of the room is smiling beatifically, but the one
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| confronting your instance has undergone strange transformations. Its
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| eyes are bloodshot, almost to the point of glowing red. It's mouth is
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| gaping, lips pulled back in a snarl, muzzle flecked with froth. *Rabid,*
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| you think. It has lost most of its humanity, though it remains on two
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| legs.
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| 
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| You let out a shout, but it's drowned amid a chorus of other yells and
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| screams.
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| 
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| Post-humanity, confronted with humanity regressed feels a special kind
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| of fear, and as the feral Dear herds your instance toward the back of
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| the room, back toward the foyer, the other ticket-holders (*though
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| perhaps 'audience members' is the correct term once more*, you think, as
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| you struggle to send a SIGTERM to your instance amid the distraction,
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| fail) surge forward toward the original instance of Dear.
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| 
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| It's still smiling.
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| 
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| It opens the next door.
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| 
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| The crush is far more intense than expected, as you find both halves of
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| the audience rejoined and dumped back into a dark and already crowded
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| room.
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| 
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| Already crowded with several instances.
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| 
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| Dear has forked itself several times and each of those instances are
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| forking again, until there's easily twice as many instances of Dear as
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| there are audience members.
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| 
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| The noise doubles and then doubles again as the instances start charging
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| at and pinning audience members against each other and the walls,
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| herding and shouting, all with bloodshot eyes, bared fangs, inhuman
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| snarls.
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| 
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| It's loud and dark and panicky.
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| 
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| Some try forking. And the new instances are ganged up upon, charged at,
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| with twice the intensity as the parent instances. Most quit.
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| 
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| You realize that these instances of Dear are not actually attacking to
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| harm the audience. There are no syringes, no coercion to quit. Just
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| exercising, violently, the collision detection algorithms in the room,
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| which are still set safe.
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| 
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| This makes you *furious*.
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| 
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| Without even thinking, you reach out a hand and grab one of the
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| instances of Dear by the scruff of the neck and drag it to you, giving
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| it a good shake as you do so.
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| 
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| "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" you shout into its face?
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| 
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| The fennec snarls at you and, with surprising force, grabs your forearm
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| and, using itself as a pivot, swings you around through about a
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| quarter-circle's arc. It keeps its paws on your arm, one on your elbow
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| to keep it straight and one on your wrist, and shoves you back by
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| lunging forward.
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| 
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| It lets you go and, in one complex motion, aims a swipe at your face
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| with one paw while the other slams, palm flat, against its jacket
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| pocket.
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| 
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| Something happens to the floor beneath your feet.
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| 
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| You fall.
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| 
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| The room into which you and this feral Dear fall is cylindrical. Walls
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| of concrete, floor of packed dirt. the part of your mind still working
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| on an intellectual level finds this funny, cliché.
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| 
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| That's also the part of your mind that notices the default settings for
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| sensoria and collision in this room are much, much different than the
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| previous room. Full sensation, with collision detection algorithms
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| turned way down.
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| 
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| A room set for battle.
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| 
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| You grin wildly.
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| 
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| *Good,* you think. *Let it hurt. This 'exhibition' goes way beyond what
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| it should.*
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| 
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| Dear only growls.
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| 
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| There's no circling, not yet. You two simply collide and have at each
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| other. You with punching fists and knees attempting to find a groin (the
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| fox is genderless, you guess, but perhaps that still hurts). Dear with
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| blunt, scratching claws and not-so-blunt teeth.
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| 
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| You have the advantage of size, and Dear has the advantage of speed. And
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| teeth and claws worth wielding.
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| 
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| It leads to an even draw in the first match, until you fall back from
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| each other and do the circling. Dear has lost all sense of humanity, to
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| your eyes: hunched over like some werewolf out of a movie, fancy shirt
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| torn, tail frizzed and lashing about, claws and teeth bared, slavering.
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| 
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| For your part, you fall back on what little you know of martial arts
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| (mostly knowledge gleaned from fiction media, if you're honest). You
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| keep your back away from the fox, keep your fists up to guard your face,
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| keep slightly turned to minimize your profile.
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| 
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| You lunge.
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| 
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| Dear lunges a heartbeat later, and you press your advantage with a kick.
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| Your foot impacts the fox in the side, just above the pelvis.
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| 
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| Dear lets out a satisfying --- and satisfyingly inhuman --- yelp of
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| pain, collapsing on the dirt of the floor and whining for a moment.
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| 
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| You move to kick it again, but it rolls to the side and staggers back to
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| its feet, landing a good swipe of its claws along your cheek and up over
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| your ear, tearing flesh.
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| 
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| Shaking your head to try and dislodge the spinning sensation of jarred
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| senses, you stumble back to press your back against the wall and gain
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| yourself a moment.
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| 
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| Dear does not permit this. The fox scrambles after you, deceptively
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| quick, and leaps toward you, aiming to land with both its feet (or
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| footpaws?) and paws against you, mouth open wide to bite.
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| 
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| You try to roll to the left but don't quite make it all the way away.
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| Dear's right paw catches on your shoulder while it's left softens its
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| landing against the concrete of the wall before latching up around your
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| neck.
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| 
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| It's an inopportune angle, but you feel it bite at you anyway, getting
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| most of your shoulder at the base of your neck.
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| 
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| The pain of it's teeth lodging in your skin is enough to make you cry
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| out. Its got enough of your soft tissue in its muzzle that the contact
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| is solid and, despite your attempts, you can't swing it free.
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| 
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| You feel its right arm slip away and are too busy trying to gain the
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| advantage to realize why until the paw swings back in front of you.
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| 
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| When you see the syringe, you panic and fork.
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| 
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| As does Dear, and now there are two of you, two fights, two dances.
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| 
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| You scramble frantically to get away from the fennec, but its grip
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| around your neck with its arm and its teeth is too strong.
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| 
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| You raise both hands to block the syringe as it darts inward, hoping to
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| either knock it out of Dear's paws or at least buy yourself some room to
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| squirm away from the fox.
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| 
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| You're too sluggish, too clumsy. After all, it doesn't matter where the
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| syringe lands. It's only a sigil, an item holding a bunch of code.
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| 
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| A bunch of code that will attempt to crash your instance.
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| 
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| The syringe strikes you square in the sternum just as you force Dear's
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| arms away.
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| 
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| The fox immediately quits.
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| 
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| Fading, leaving you to crumple.
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| 
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| The world around you dissolves into voxels, each of which steadily gets
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| larger and larger
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| 
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| The voxels step down in intensity until they fade to a dull grey.
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| 
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| Dying is no quiet affair. It's loud, painful. Surprisingly so.
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| 
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| Your instance, this body, is crashing in spectacular fashion. Every last
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| bit of your sensorium is lit up like a Christmas tree, but the pain goes
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| beyond that. It's a pain of existence, of the need to continue existing.
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| 
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| Those expanding rings of colored black speed up. The black somehow
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| increases in brightness. You cry out into it.
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| 
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| Perhaps this is why you were instructed to send a forked instance.
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| 
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| Fin.
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| 
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| Fin for now.
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| 
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| Fin for this you.
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| 
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| -----
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| 
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| But, but, always another but.
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| 
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| But there is more than that you. You forked, after all, yes?
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| 
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| Yes.
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| 
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| Yes, and your heart falls as you see that you crumple.
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| 
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| There is more than that one Dear, too. You see, this is the danger of
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| love stories. This is the danger these days. Time is funny. Space is
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| funny. Nonlinearity was always the warp and woof of the world, but now
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| your face is rubbed in it, the multitudinous aspects of post-humanity
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| ground up against your nose in some strange punishment.
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| 
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| To your relief, that second Dear also quits.
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| 
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| Moving faster than you thought you could, as though some latent instinct
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| had kicked in, you swing your arm up across your front and strike Dear's
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| forearm square on with the bony ridge of your own arm.
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| 
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| The syringe goes scattering. You tear away from Dear and leap after it.
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| 
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| Scrabbling on the ground, you catch sight of the syringe as it
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| dematerializes.
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| 
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| Objects only do that when their owners quit.
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| 
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| You whirl around just in time to see the hazy, ephemeral shadow of Dear
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| fading away.
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| 
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| The fox quit.
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| 
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| You let out a yell of triumph.
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| 
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| And now you're alone.
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| 
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| You stumble back to the wall and sag against it, breathing heavily and
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| assessing the damage. A few minor scratching here and there, and then
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| the two major wounds: the scratch up along your cheek and across your
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| ear and the bite against your neck with its several small puncture
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| wounds.
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| 
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| You set to work patching yourself. You fork from a point just before the
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| fight, explain to the instance that you need to fix, that you'd like it
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| to merge and retain all of your memories and experiences.
 | |
| 
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| This takes only a few seconds.
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| 
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| Once you're finished, another instance of Dear appears. On closer
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| inspection, it appears to be the original version of Dear. Dear-prime,
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| or something.
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| 
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| You've calmed down enough that you don't immediately leap at it, though
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| you do drop into a defensive stance.
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| 
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| It smiles kindly, saying, *"You may calm down, now."*
 | |
| 
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| "Like hell," you growl.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"No, seriously. Remember where you are. This is an exhibition. This is
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| an exhibit."* It gestures to the room. *"You're an audience member. Even
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| audience members have roles to play."*
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| 
 | |
| You furrow your brow. So wrong-footed are you, the rolling boil of your
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| anger drops almost immediately to a simmer. "Like a play..."
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Like a play."*
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| 
 | |
| "So you knew we'd fight?"
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"I knew a fight **might** happen. I encouraged a fight to **actually**
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| happen."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You raise your fists again, but you feel the changes in the room.
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| Collision algorithms back on conservative, sensoria turned down. "You
 | |
| encouraged a fight?"
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Mmhm."* Dear --- perhaps even Dear-prime --- nods and strolls casually
 | |
| about the room. *"You didn't make it to the unwinding room, so I'll
 | |
| explain here. Stress is the easiest way to force decisions to be made. I
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| forced you to decide, didn't I? I forced you to interact with an
 | |
| instance, and I'm forcing you to interact with me, now. Two instances,
 | |
| two interactions."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| It walks over to a wall and gives it a push. A panel of concrete swings
 | |
| aside to reveal a set of stairs. It gestures, smiling kindly. *"There's
 | |
| more to it, but a good artist never explains. Artistry lies in the
 | |
| perception, and someone's watching."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| At that, it quits.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You drop your arms and sigh, thinking for a moment before heading for
 | |
| the stairs.
 | |
| 
 | |
| -----
 | |
| 
 | |
| But now, we're back at the beginning, aren't we? We're back to that
 | |
| first fork, when it all seemed so simple. We're back to the choice of
 | |
| the two doors, and the other instance of yours, that one follows the
 | |
| other Dear through the door to the left.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You, smirking, take the right.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The room you wind up in is smaller even than the foyer, and the
 | |
| ticket-holders have to press even closer together. The audience that
 | |
| winds up here is the most diverse, containing the entire group of
 | |
| Taskers who wound up at this (apparently primarily Dispersionista)
 | |
| event. As such, the press is met with uncomfortable silence: one doesn't
 | |
| normally talk about dissolution strategies with strangers, but Dear has
 | |
| deftly forced it to be an issue.
 | |
| 
 | |
| There's no sign on the fox's face that it knows what it has done. Just
 | |
| that calm, polite smile. Curious. How can one know that a fox is smiling
 | |
| rather than snarling or something, much less that the smile is polite.
 | |
| Perhaps styled after those old cartoons of anthropomorphic animals, or
 | |
| simply just an impression.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Thank you. Much cozier in here."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| Right.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The Taskers do not look cozy.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You suppose it makes sense. There are bits of this that appeal to all:
 | |
| forking for a specific purpose, instances accomplishing goals. This was
 | |
| flagrant abuse of that in their eyes, however, given that these
 | |
| instances will likely move on and live their own lives. Independent,
 | |
| individual instances.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"I would like to elaborate on my previous point,"* Dear says. *"This
 | |
| opening is about the idea of instance creation as art, and in that
 | |
| sense, it's the easiest job I've ever had. Instance creation is art."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| It holds up one paw as though to forestall further conversation. *"All
 | |
| instance creation. This show is about utilizing that consciously, but
 | |
| all instance creation is art. It is structured experience. The Taskers,
 | |
| and I believe you're all here?"* Dear smiles kindly. *"The Taskers are
 | |
| the tightest adherents to structure. The most baroque."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| Still holding its paw up, Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled forks
 | |
| once more, an identical copy of itself appearing standing just next to
 | |
| the original. The instance quickly quits and dissipates. An example,
 | |
| perhaps.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"The goal of this exhibition isn't to just talk about that, though,
 | |
| it's to explore the creative limits of forking as art."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear forks once more, but this time into two additional instances. One
 | |
| short, lithe human, holding up its hand just as the original instance
 | |
| still holds up its paw. And on the other side of Dear, a small animal
 | |
| --- smaller than you expected, the size of a small cat --- that you
 | |
| suppose is the fennec mentioned in the program, colored in creamy tan
 | |
| fur. It becomes clear that the primary Dear is a synthesis between the
 | |
| two.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The human Dear reaches out to shake one of the audience members hands
 | |
| while the fox dashes toward the crowd, weaving its way between legs in a
 | |
| good simulacrum of an animal attempting to escape.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Something about the fennec catches your eye as it dashes quickly through
 | |
| the crowd. It doesn't seem to be following any pattern, but its motions
 | |
| remain purposeful. It seems to be...perhaps, making eye contact with
 | |
| each person in the room?
 | |
| 
 | |
| And then it comes to you.
 | |
| 
 | |
| And it looks up to you.
 | |
| 
 | |
| And winks.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Can fennecs do that?
 | |
| 
 | |
| The strange critter holds your gaze for longer than some wild animal
 | |
| should, or so it feels, but the moment is broken by the soft sound of
 | |
| Dear clearing its throat at the front of the room.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"The next room is just through here. If you'll follow me, please."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| It's difficult to deny the tiny critter before you, to tear your eyes
 | |
| away from it. Easy enough to forget that its an instance of Dear as it
 | |
| leads the tour onwards. Perhaps if you could just dally a little and get
 | |
| a closer look before moving on.
 | |
| 
 | |
| And then the explosion happens.
 | |
| 
 | |
| A shuddering bang and sudden flood of smoke behind and to your right
 | |
| makes up your mind for you.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Turning, you find that the fennec has skittered away to the left. As the
 | |
| shouts of those nearest the banging noise and cloud of smoke rise up,
 | |
| you find yourself doing the same, following out of a sense of instinct
 | |
| rather than anything resembling logic.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Cliché as it is, the lights go out. Perfect.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You, daring, intrigued, perhaps a bit upset, fork. You follow. You keep
 | |
| heading left, where the fennec was going, pushing past scrambling
 | |
| attendees to get to the wall. The left wall, you reason, is a shared
 | |
| wall with the other room, the one which the other Dear had led the other
 | |
| half of the group through. There's probably a door between the two,
 | |
| though you hadn't had the chance to get a look, or perhaps you could
 | |
| break through.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The smoke thickens. It has a lemony, sulfurous smell that, although it's
 | |
| never something you've smelled before, makes you think of bullets,
 | |
| grenades, gunpowder.
 | |
| 
 | |
| In the dim light and confusion, you find the wall by abruptly slamming
 | |
| into it. Indeed, there's a door a few hand-spans away, and a tiny
 | |
| critter with big ears scratching frantically at it.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You shuffle quickly over to the door, barely able to see for the smoke
 | |
| and dimness, and grab at the handle, praying that it's unlocked.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The handle turns.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You fall through.
 | |
| 
 | |
| It's a strange sensation to step from a cramped, crowded, loud, dark,
 | |
| and smoky room into such a space as this.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The fall you took couldn't have been more than a few feet, but even now,
 | |
| your senses still feel knocked slightly out of place. To have a space
 | |
| like this, one that's bigger on the inside than on the outside, or
 | |
| outside when it should be indoors, underground, is certainly possible.
 | |
| It's easy. It's just also considered incredibly rude. In most sims, it's
 | |
| even illegal. In this one, you vaguely remember hearing that it requires
 | |
| a permit.
 | |
| 
 | |
| But here you are.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You and a tiny fennec.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You and a lapis sky.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You and endless green fields.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You and a sunny day.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Outside *and* a sunny day.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The fennec, which had been grooming itself after the flight from the
 | |
| explosion, gives you what can only be a smirk and another wink, and
 | |
| starts heading off away from where the door ought to have been but is no
 | |
| longer.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Nothing for it.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You follow along after the tan beast, the fox looking minuscule amid the
 | |
| endless grass, nothing but its ears sticking up above the stalks. It
 | |
| looks out of place amid the green of the grass.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The ground had looked flat at first, but that seems to have just been
 | |
| the grass all growing to about the same height. Beneath the grass, you
 | |
| keep rolling your ankle over tussocks and failures in the earth,
 | |
| stumbling over the fact that the grownd the grass is growing on is
 | |
| annoyingly uneven.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The fennec winds its way amid these tufts, having an easier time of
 | |
| things with dainty paws.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Your mind fills with stories, of magical animals, of sleeping for years
 | |
| and waking up to see the world vastly change. You start to think of the
 | |
| fennec as its own entity, something completely separate from Dear, from
 | |
| the exhibition you just left.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"You're one tenacious fuck, you know that?"*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You look around, some part of you unwilling to believe that the voice
 | |
| came from the fennec. You had forgotten, lost in your fantasies, that
 | |
| the fennec was still Dear.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Yeah, me."* The fennec continued its dainty walk. *"I say 'tenacious
 | |
| fuck' lovingly, of course. I like you. You've got pluck. Gumption.
 | |
| Another you forked in another place, another time. We fought. We kind of
 | |
| fell for each other. It was fun."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| "Another...?"
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Not much in the way of brains, though."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You roll your eyes. The fennec grins.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"You know you were told to send an instance to the exhibition, right?"*
 | |
| the fennec asks, casually.
 | |
| 
 | |
| "Yeah," you respond, wary of traps.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"So why not quit?"*
 | |
| 
 | |
| "Hmm?"
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Why not quit? Why not merge back with your..."* The fennec pauses and
 | |
| gives you and appraising glance, *"With your \#tracker instance?"*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You shrug helplessly, realizing the two of you have come to a halt at
 | |
| the base of a hillock, a rough cave dug into its side. The fennec sits
 | |
| primly. "This is...this is an exhibition about instances as art, isn't
 | |
| it?"
 | |
| 
 | |
| The fennec gives a short bark of laughter, looking perhaps most feral at
 | |
| that moment. *"It is, isn't it? Just thought you'd see it through, hmm?
 | |
| This exhibit?"*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You nod. You feel ill-prepared for this.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"I won't lie to you, then. This exhibit,"* and the fennec nods toward
 | |
| the horizon, toward the cave, toward you. *"This exhibit is just a
 | |
| frame. It's just a canvas. You're the exhibit. You're the art."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You catch yourself nodding once again and attempt a more graceful
 | |
| response. "There's a lot of shows where the audience becomes the cast."
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"I suppose."* The fennec settles down onto its belly, stretching out.
 | |
| *"That's one way to think of it, yes. I'm not fond of the play metaphor.
 | |
| Exhibit works better for me and the way I think, since I know who's
 | |
| watching."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| Just as you begin to respond, the fennec quits. This sim, as a whole,
 | |
| provides a courtesy feature of a faint outline existing and then fading
 | |
| after a quit, crash, or failure. That just means you get to fume in the
 | |
| direction of a slowly fading outline of a fennec, standing at the mouth
 | |
| of the cave.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The fennec's right, though, you could just quit.
 | |
| 
 | |
| But *you're* right, too, you think. You want to see how instances become
 | |
| art.
 | |
| 
 | |
| "Cave it is, then," you say, as though this is some sort of
 | |
| choose-your-own-adventure book or roleplaying game and you have to
 | |
| follow the available exits.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Ah well.
 | |
| 
 | |
| As far as caves go, this one is rather unremarkable.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You laugh at yourself for having such a thought. The life you've chosen
 | |
| for yourself does not include many caves.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You drop to your knees, brushing a hand through the last vestiges of the
 | |
| faint outline of that shitty fox, and crawl past the entrance of the
 | |
| cave.
 | |
| 
 | |
| It is unremarkable in that it is almost cartoonish in construction. A
 | |
| low hillock with a rough hole bored in the side, rocks protruding here
 | |
| and there, worms and roots dangling from the ceiling. Always large
 | |
| enough to crawl through on all fours, but never enough to stand up in.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *The construction is actually quite well thought out,* you muse. *At
 | |
| least, as far as cramped spaces go.*
 | |
| 
 | |
| As soon as the cave turns a corner and the light of day behind you is
 | |
| lost to view, it all seems rather less inviting than it did before. The
 | |
| air was still before, but now it's stale; cool and moist has become
 | |
| humid and sticky.
 | |
| 
 | |
| It's difficult to say whether the walls are closing in or whether that's
 | |
| just claustrophobia setting an assertive hand on your shoulder.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You crawl on.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The ground starts to rise, and at last you think you may be nearing the
 | |
| other side of the hillock. Perhaps, given the non-Euclidean layout of
 | |
| the exhibit, an entry back in, or at least back out.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The tunnel keeps rising.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The tunnel keeps going.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Rocks dig into knees and palms
 | |
| 
 | |
| And you keep climbing.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Up and through
 | |
| 
 | |
| You climb.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Nearly vertical.
 | |
| 
 | |
| And, to your relief, it grows lighter.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You hasten.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Up and out.
 | |
| 
 | |
| And fall.
 | |
| 
 | |
| And fall onto the street.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Looking around, you see the building housing the exhibition just behind
 | |
| you. you hunt for the front door. An instance of Dear putters around
 | |
| just past the glass doors, picking up programs and generally tidying up
 | |
| the place.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You go to give the doors a try, but they're locked.
 | |
| 
 | |
| That's why you looped back around, isn't it? To confront that shitty fox
 | |
| once more and ask it what it meant by *"who's watching"*.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You just want to shake that--
 | |
| 
 | |
| You're fuming, you realize.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You sit down on the curb, taking a moment first to relish the anger, the
 | |
| self-righteous feeling of bolstered confidence. Then you work on calming
 | |
| down.
 | |
| 
 | |
| There won't be a fox to confront, and it's as Dear had said: this space
 | |
| wasn't the exhibit, but the frame. That means you were the exhibit.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear ignores you. Your evaluation of 'shitty fox' is reinforced.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You wait.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You sit after the wait grows long.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You ponder visiting another bar.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You lose track of time.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Eventually, you hear voices from the side of the building. Familiar
 | |
| voices. Your friends. Still dirty from the cave, you despair.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You quit.
 | |
| 
 | |
| -----
 | |
| 
 | |
| But, ah, there was more than one choice made that night, wasn't there?
 | |
| You forked again, didn't you? You, rascal that you are, followed that
 | |
| fennec, but you also did not.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The fennec skitters off toward the explosion, toward the shared wall
 | |
| between the split rooms, and you have already sent a version of you
 | |
| after it. You want to follow, but you also don't want to deal with
 | |
| explosions.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Neither does anyone else, apparently, as the tight quarters in the room
 | |
| quickly leads to a crush and stampede toward the door that Dear has
 | |
| opened.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Into which you are forced.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The crush is far more intense than expected, as you find both halves of
 | |
| the audience rejoined and dumped back into a dark and already crowded
 | |
| room.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Already crowded with several instances.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear has forked itself several times and each of those instances are
 | |
| forking again, until there's easily twice as many instances of Dear as
 | |
| there are audience members.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The noise doubles and then doubles again as the instances start charging
 | |
| at and pinning audience members against each other and the walls,
 | |
| herding and shouting, all with bloodshot eyes, bared fangs, inhuman
 | |
| snarls.
 | |
| 
 | |
| It's loud and dark and panicky.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Some try forking. And the new instances are ganged up upon, charged at,
 | |
| with twice the intensity as the parent instances.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You realize that these instances of Dear are not actually attacking to
 | |
| harm the audience. There are no syringes, no coercion to quit. Just
 | |
| exercising, violently, the collision detection algorithms in the room,
 | |
| which are still set safe.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The intensity within this room is nearly overwhelming, and you find
 | |
| yourself shrinking toward the walls, if only to escape from the noise
 | |
| and motion on one side.
 | |
| 
 | |
| A few others seem to have the same idea, shifting their ways toward the
 | |
| walls of the room. They're met with little resistance.
 | |
| 
 | |
| In fact, the instances of Dear seem to be encouraging it, growling and
 | |
| barking and yelling as they herd the audience to the outsides of the
 | |
| room.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You make it to the wall with relatively little trouble, and are
 | |
| surprised only to be jabbed in the back with a doorknob.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Keeping an eye on the action and the aggressive instances of the artist,
 | |
| you slip a hand back behind you to turn the knob.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The room you find yourself in couldn't be more different. It's a room
 | |
| where one might feel quite bad shouting and hollering, and most of the
 | |
| audience gets that at once, quieting down.
 | |
| 
 | |
| It helps, of course, that the combative instances of Dear remain behind
 | |
| in the previous room, only herding the remaining audience members toward
 | |
| the door. It's a curious dichotomy of violence in one room and in the
 | |
| other, well...
 | |
| 
 | |
| Opulence isn't quite the right word. Softness, perhaps? Gentle, relaxed,
 | |
| soothing.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The room has muted lights --- brighter than the previous room but still
 | |
| decidedly dim --- and soft, amorphous furniture, none meant to be
 | |
| occupied individually. The light is cool, the color scheme a soothing
 | |
| set of blues without being annoying about it.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear --- Dear-prime, perhaps, as it doesn't have any of the frothy
 | |
| bloodlust look about it --- smiles disarmingly and urges the audience
 | |
| into the room.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Another difference: there's plenty of space to spread out here, rather
 | |
| than the previous overcrowded rooms.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Please, please, take a seat,"* it offers politely. *"Please sit. The
 | |
| stressful portion of the exhibition is over, and now it's time that we
 | |
| had a talk."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| There's some grumbling, stress indeed. Some still look warily at the
 | |
| artist. But folks do as they're told, splitting off into their little
 | |
| subgroups. Couples and threesomes wind up on couches and love-seats (if
 | |
| the blobby furniture could be called such) while larger groups wind up
 | |
| on melty-looking beanbags. You and your group, all single, find a
 | |
| cluster of such furniture and scatter to the component pieces. You wind
 | |
| up with a love-seat to yourself and make yourself comfortable.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear follows along with the groups. All of them. Forking as they split
 | |
| off towards the clusters of furniture so that each group winds up with
 | |
| its own instance of the fox. You notice that each instance is fluffier,
 | |
| softer, a touch heavier than the original. As a scheme to make the
 | |
| artist seem friendlier, it works pretty well. The new instances nearly
 | |
| exude kindness.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You marvel, for a moment, at how easily folks seem to take being shifted
 | |
| from the context of violence to the context of comfort. That there are a
 | |
| majority of Dispersionistas certainly explains part of it. The rest, you
 | |
| suspect, might be due to the fact that, despite those context shifts,
 | |
| this all took place within the overarching setting of an art exhibit.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Those are meant to be safe.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear had said that instances were art, and perhaps that really is the
 | |
| case: perhaps it's like those plays where the audience plays a role.
 | |
| Perhaps you and your friends, all of the audience, are the art. Perhaps
 | |
| Dear only hung the frames.
 | |
| 
 | |
| As if summoned by your thoughts alone, an instance of Dear pads up to
 | |
| your group and, by your leave, settles down on the cushions beside you.
 | |
| If it amped up the friendliness of its build, it doubled that with its
 | |
| face. Teeth muted, whiskers full and slicked back, eyes bigger and
 | |
| friendlier, ears gone from large to almost comical.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Once again, I must apologize for that stress,"* it murmurs to your
 | |
| group, voice low.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Silence. You decide to speak up.
 | |
| 
 | |
| "What was the reasoning for that? Were we playing a part, like in a
 | |
| play?" you guess.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The fox smiles, *"You could say that, I suppose. I prefer the term
 | |
| exhibit, though, as it implies that someone is watching, that you are
 | |
| being looked at."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| It makes a graceful setting-aside gesture before you can question it on
 | |
| that, continuing, *"Stress is a means of forcing individuals to make
 | |
| decisions. If there hadn't been real stress, real risk--"* Again, it
 | |
| raises a hand to forestall objections. *"--then there wouldn't have been
 | |
| real art to be made. Your calling it a play is accurate in that sense,
 | |
| in that plays are art made in real time. This is also that. Structured
 | |
| experience happening in real time."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| It's easy to feel intrigued: the art itself is intriguing. Beyond that,
 | |
| though, *Dear* is intriguing.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear, with its choice of form.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear with its mastery of the mutation algorithms used during forking.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear with its casual refusal to conform.
 | |
| 
 | |
| "So what do *you* get out of this, then? This art?"
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear grins and leans back into the couch, its tail flicking out of the
 | |
| way and arm draping along the back --- an almost familiar gesture
 | |
| toward. One that you can't help but notice. One that even your friends
 | |
| can't help but notice.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"That, my friend, is a very good question."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| "And do you have an answer?"
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Not a good one,"* it shrugs, ineloquent. *"Not yet, at least."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You grin back, "Well? What do you have so far?"
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear laughs. Your friends roll their eyes.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Part of it's integral to us. To all of the 'me's here, to all of the
 | |
| Ode Clade, to so many Dispersionistas, and, to some extent, to all those
 | |
| except perhaps the most conservative of conservatives."* It furrows its
 | |
| brow as if digging for words, *"It's evolving. Identity, I mean. It's
 | |
| moving beyond the romantic concept of self."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| "Is that why you're not hu-" You stop yourself short, thinking on its
 | |
| words. "Is that why you've taken the shape of a...a fennec, was it?"
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear turns itself to sit cross-legged on the love-seat facing you. You
 | |
| find yourself doing so as well, almost subconsciously.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Your friends stand up.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear-Prime, at the center of the room, calls out in a soft voice, *"The
 | |
| next exhibits are just this way. If you'll follow me..."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear reaches out a paw and rests it atop one of your hands, *"We can
 | |
| stay and chat a bit more. Don't worry,"* it grins. *"I'm running this
 | |
| show, I make the rules."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| Your friends are grumbling, already moving to follow Dear-prime to the
 | |
| next room.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You shrug. Carefully, though, as you're finding yourself loath to
 | |
| displace Dear's paw from atop your hand. "Sure, why not? Came for the
 | |
| exhibition, after all. Might as well get the most of it."
 | |
| 
 | |
| You shrug once more, this time to your group, make no sign of getting
 | |
| up.
 | |
| 
 | |
| They hesitate for a moment, then, frowning, give a dismissive gesture
 | |
| and wander off to the next room.
 | |
| 
 | |
| "So. Fennecs."
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Fennecs,"* Dear agrees. *"Though one must be careful to specify
 | |
| anthropomorphic. Real fennecs are quite small as you remember."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear forks and a fennec --- hardly a double-handful of fuzzy critter ---
 | |
| appears between you, bridging your knees, back paws on Dear's knee and
 | |
| front paws on yours. It's tan, rather than iridescent white, and holds
 | |
| far less humanity about it.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You raise a hand, but it quits before you can touch it.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"This is intentional. I'm not a fennec. I rather like them, of course,
 | |
| but I'm not one. I'm an amalgam. I'm something more. Or rather, we all
 | |
| are, and I'm trying to embody it."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| "So you're greater than the sum of the parts," you hazard. "Fennec and
 | |
| human?"
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"It'd be better to say that we're all more than human. We may be
 | |
| post-human, as the old saws would have it, but we're certainly now more
 | |
| than the sum of the parts of our identities."* It grins, *"Fennec mostly
 | |
| just because I like foxes, though. All the deep words in the world won't
 | |
| hide that fact."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You laugh, giving its paw a pat with your free hand, "Well, hey, if it
 | |
| fits, might as well."
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear grins. *"Think it does?"*
 | |
| 
 | |
| "Well, sure," you admit. "Just got me wondering what you get out of it."
 | |
| 
 | |
| You feel your hand drop as the fennec turns up the sensitivity of its
 | |
| instance and turns down the rather conservative settings of the
 | |
| collision detection algorithms. You hesitate for the moment, then do the
 | |
| same, feeling the concomitant sensations of temperature and touch jump
 | |
| in intensity.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Well, I get to be soft as hell."* It grins, *"Seriously, pet me. I
 | |
| love being a fox sometimes if only for the physical contact."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You laugh, although you feel yourself blushing as well. After a moment's
 | |
| hesitation, you pet Dear's paw lightly with your hand.
 | |
| 
 | |
| It's soft. *Very* soft. You keep up those touches. It's hard to remember
 | |
| the last time you felt fur.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"All of my intellectual bullshit aside, I think it's very important to
 | |
| remember the sensuality of senses."* Its eyes half-close in apparent
 | |
| pleasure. *"When the system was built, there was a big debate as to
 | |
| whether sensoria should be included at all, whether we should have sims
 | |
| and rooms and things to look at and touch. Some of the more romantic
 | |
| uploads argued loud enough that we overrode most of the objections. Pet
 | |
| my ears, those are softer."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You move to comply, then pause, tilting your head. "'We'?" you ask,
 | |
| finishing the motion and brushing your fingertips over the back of one
 | |
| of the ears once. Then again and again. Dear wasn't kidding about the
 | |
| softness. You suspect it was a selfish request on its part, as the fox
 | |
| ducks its chin to tilt its head toward your hands, leaning in closer.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"'We', yes,"* it murmurs, somewhat muffled. *"The Ode Clade is quite
 | |
| old."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You think for a moment, then grin. "You describe them as romantic, but
 | |
| talk of moving past romantic ideas of self."
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Do I contradict myself?"* It is mumbling quietly now. *"Very well,
 | |
| then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. Other ear,
 | |
| if you please."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You laugh, earnestly and easily. You slip your other hand from under
 | |
| Dear's paw, and bring it up to stroke the back of the other ear. The
 | |
| touch gets a shiver out of the fennec.
 | |
| 
 | |
| "Fennec fits," you say. "Or, at least, soft animal does. You seem to act
 | |
| a little like how they say cats acted, though."
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Meow,"* Dear offers, too content to sound sarcastic. *"Seriously.
 | |
| There's room for romanticism and romance itself within post-modernism."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You move the hand that was stroking the first ear to ruffle the fur
 | |
| between the ears, laughing again and joking, "Romance, eh? You coming on
 | |
| to me, then?"
 | |
| 
 | |
| It laughs along with and shrugs, *"Well, more like...you're the first
 | |
| one to show interest in me, rather than the exhibition. And I've run
 | |
| lots of exhibitions."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| Moving gracefully, it leans forward, up onto its knees, and then in
 | |
| against your front, pushing you back against the armrest of the
 | |
| loveseat. Its arms slip up around your shoulders. The move startles you
 | |
| into hesitation, but after a moment, you settle your arms around the
 | |
| fox's shoulders.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"But I'm not **not** coming on to you."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You're at a loss for words.
 | |
| 
 | |
| > I'm flattered, but--
 | |
| 
 | |
| Or maybe:
 | |
| 
 | |
| > You're sweet, you know--
 | |
| 
 | |
| You settle for silence and simply relaxing beneath Dear.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Warmth, softness. "Lonely?"
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear settles with its muzzle resting alongside your neck. *"Mmhm."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| "Same here," you admit.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The fennec nuzzles in against your neck. Whiskers tickle, raise
 | |
| goosebumps.
 | |
| 
 | |
| A moment of shared silence and touch. Your hands brush along the fox's
 | |
| back, imagining how soft the fur might be beneath the dressy shirt.
 | |
| Dear's blunt muzzle continues those soft rubs against your neck.
 | |
| 
 | |
| It leans up, nuzzling its way to your ear.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"The only downside to being a fox,"* it murmurs, nose cool against the
 | |
| rim of your ear. *"Is that it's really hard to kiss with a muzzle."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| And then it quits.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Your arms collapse against your front, through the ephemeral outline of
 | |
| the fox that remains.
 | |
| 
 | |
| With a shout, you scramble off of the love-seat, shock forcing you to
 | |
| stand in a defensive position.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The air is cold after the contact.
 | |
| 
 | |
| "D-Dear?" you stammer.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The room is empty.
 | |
| 
 | |
| It takes a moment for you to remember that you're within a gallery
 | |
| exhibit. That Dear hung the frames in which you're the art.
 | |
| 
 | |
| How cynical of it, though, to build emotional rapport, to tease at the
 | |
| edges of your feelings, questing at loneliness, and to leave, to do this
 | |
| for art. You must admit it hurts.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You laugh, forced and bitter.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Lonely, indeed.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You turn your touch sensoria way down and head to the door.
 | |
| 
 | |
| -----
 | |
| 
 | |
| Numb --- or, that's not quite it, more like confused and in pain but
 | |
| unwilling to feel either --- you shuffle into the final room. Seeing the
 | |
| pointed ears of Dear over the heads of the crowd fills you with
 | |
| strangely shaped emotions, which you set aside and move to rejoin your
 | |
| friends. All of whom, it seems, are set on laughing at your expense.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Not helping.
 | |
| 
 | |
| A group of audience members next to you gives a shout and jumps away
 | |
| from a spot in the floor as a panel begins a to lift up. A...trap door?
 | |
| From it, a ragged and slightly dirty looking head peeks up.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Your head.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Your dirty, scraggly, frowning head. It looks upset, catches your eye,
 | |
| and quits. A set of memories, new and fresh, awaits you, ready for
 | |
| merge.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You try to get a peek of what's down the hole beneath the floor, but,
 | |
| other than dirt and rock, you don't see anything before it slams shut.
 | |
| 
 | |
| "Fuck it," you mumble, and merge the memories blithely, ignoring any
 | |
| potential conflicts. You're hungry for reasons to hate.
 | |
| 
 | |
| A panel in the side of the room gives way and folds back into a
 | |
| corridor.
 | |
| 
 | |
| No, not a corridor, a staircase. From it steps another audience member,
 | |
| another you, looking pale, shaken. They do not look as though they would
 | |
| like to talk, though. Those around them look sullen at being rebuffed,
 | |
| but that version of you doesn't seem to care.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You send a quick sensorium ping to them, instructing them to quit. They
 | |
| do so.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You feel that hate begin to simmer.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Once all of the audience is brought back together in this whitewashed
 | |
| room, with its exposed ceiling, you hear Dear's kind voice waft above
 | |
| the heads, *"The final room of the exhibition is not participatory.
 | |
| Please feel free to wander and explore. I-"* It pauses, forks a few
 | |
| times, each instance smiling, and continues, *"We will be available for
 | |
| questions and chit-chat. Finally, I would like to thank you all deeply
 | |
| for attending this exhibition, and The Simien Fang School of Art and
 | |
| Design for hosting it. SF welcomes you back to any future exhibitions."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| There is applause, then, but it's scattered, confused. Dear looks proud
 | |
| at this.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You and your friends wander slowly through the room.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Its a square. Equidistant from the walls and each other are four
 | |
| pedestal, with one more a positioned at the center. Each pedestal is
 | |
| about waist-height and is just as white as the rest of the room. Images
 | |
| float a few inches from the top of the one nearest you, so you and your
 | |
| friends begin the circuit, wandering to inspect each pedestal in turn.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Each is labeled with a simple placard.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The Wanderer
 | |
| ------------
 | |
| 
 | |
| It's a surreal experience, watching your self, your actions, through
 | |
| someone else's eyes. Sure, there are videos and such, but there's
 | |
| something a little different about this. The way the 'camera' moves
 | |
| is...well, it's not a camera. There's no way it could be a camera.
 | |
| 
 | |
| It has to be Dear.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You watch more closely as the recording loops. It starts with a flash, a
 | |
| point of view very close to the ground. Lots of ankles. Shoes.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Then it moves, quickly and jauntily, dashing among feet and shoes,
 | |
| pausing to look up into faces. Most give it only cursory glances,
 | |
| apparently unsure of how to take this tiny animal moving among them. A
 | |
| few refuse to look at it, clearly disconcerted.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Then there's your face. You look more curious than anything, trying to
 | |
| figure out this thing before you. The you here, now, stares back into
 | |
| your eyes through the playback.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You hold your breath.
 | |
| 
 | |
| There's the explosion.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The viewpoint skitters off to the side (lots of ankles, here) and toward
 | |
| a wall. It seeks out the molding on the floor at the base of the wall,
 | |
| then the corner where that meets the molding of a doorjamb. There's its
 | |
| place. It scrabbles at the door, waiting for you, knowing you'll come.
 | |
| 
 | |
| And there's your shoes, with less dirt on them than they have now, and
 | |
| then the door swings open. The viewpoint leaps through, into sun and
 | |
| grass, with the shoes (and the rest of you) falling after.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Until now, the playback had been silent, but directed speakers start to
 | |
| project a little bit of audio, muffled.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"You're one tenacious fuck, you know that?"* you hear the fennec's
 | |
| voice from the speakers. Everyone but you laughs.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You hear your discussion with the fennec, heavily obscured by the
 | |
| crunching of grass and the occasional grunts from yourself as the two of
 | |
| you make your way through the field. Your discussion on the meaning of
 | |
| exhibit, of medium, of art versus frame.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The video slides slowly lower to the ground as the fennec stretches out,
 | |
| then goes dark.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Repeats.
 | |
| 
 | |
| There's a touch of resentment, you feel. That Dear had somehow managed
 | |
| to record a portion of its sensorium (was that even possible?) and was
 | |
| playing it back to these strangers.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The Rebel
 | |
| ---------
 | |
| 
 | |
| This pedestal contains a fairly short loop, more obviously taken from a
 | |
| conventional security feed.
 | |
| 
 | |
| It's hard to discern what happens at first. It mostly looks like a bunch
 | |
| of people standing still, and then, as if on cue, freaking out.
 | |
| 
 | |
| A closer look, and you feel your cheeks go red. You know what's going to
 | |
| happen.
 | |
| 
 | |
| There's you.
 | |
| 
 | |
| And there's your forked instance.
 | |
| 
 | |
| And there's Dear's forked instance.
 | |
| 
 | |
| And then chaos as Dear deftly moves the room into strife.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Then the recording loops.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You swallow hard, knowing what's going to come next. You avert your gaze
 | |
| from the pedestal as you watch the chaos begin again. Your friends jeer
 | |
| at you, but you don't feel proud at having done what you did.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The Fighter
 | |
| -----------
 | |
| 
 | |
| As you catch a glimpse of the next pedestal on approach you wince, both
 | |
| at remembered pain embarrassment. You had not known this would be the
 | |
| next in line, but you had suspected.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The scene in this pedestal shows fighting, chaos.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Once again, this appears to be a sensorium recording (how had Dear
 | |
| *done* that?), showing a fight that's far more well-choreographed than
 | |
| you remember. Seeing it from Dear's point of view, it looks a lot more
 | |
| like purposeful herding. The safety settings on that room had been so
 | |
| high that that's about all it had been.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Then the instance's point of view gets whipped around to face you, your
 | |
| face squarely in its vision.
 | |
| 
 | |
| "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" You wince at the sound of
 | |
| your voice, hoarse from excitement, profane, coming from those directed
 | |
| speakers.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Then the fight begins in earnest.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You're dragged to the center of the room of the fight and then dropped
 | |
| into the ring, those concrete walls and that dirt floor making your
 | |
| remembered wounds ache.
 | |
| 
 | |
| This fight is less well choreographed. More jagged.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Except to you. You know.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The details play out on the pedestal with a cool, almost clinical
 | |
| precision, holding none of the emotion that you had felt. The blows, the
 | |
| circling, the jumps and scratches.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The syringe.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"I had to mean to do it,"* says a soft voice next to you.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The fight isn't so far off, that anger not so much less than at a boil
 | |
| that you don't still have a strong urge to deck the fox standing in
 | |
| front of you.
 | |
| 
 | |
| It smiles, almost sadly. *"If I didn't mean to do it, you would have
 | |
| been confused. Maybe there would be victory, but it would've been empty
 | |
| and hollow."* Dear shrugs, offers an apologetic smile. *"Confusion is
 | |
| not what was called for, in this exhibit. Victory or loss. Stress and
 | |
| decisions."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You take a breath. One of those intentional breaths, the ones where you
 | |
| breathe out longer than you breathe in. "I think I understand why you
 | |
| did it," you say, quiet and controlled. "I don't like it, but I think I
 | |
| understand why."
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear nods, offers a hint of a bow, and backs away, *"That's my job."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| It retreats into the crowd.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The Lover
 | |
| ---------
 | |
| 
 | |
| Seeing the cool blue hues of the scene above the next pedestal brings an
 | |
| immediate and uncomfortable reaction. It feels like you swallowed a ball
 | |
| the size of your fists and it's lodged itself behind your rib cage.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Embarrassment. Frustration. Anger. Loneliness. All in equal measure.
 | |
| 
 | |
| It makes you queasy.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The audience surrounding the pedestal gasps at something
 | |
| 
 | |
| "The instances aren't the art," one of your friends mumbles, and you
 | |
| turn to them. They shrug. "I don't think so at least. I don't actually
 | |
| know what the art is."
 | |
| 
 | |
| Someone from across the pedestal offers, "Maybe instances are the
 | |
| brush?"
 | |
| 
 | |
| Laughter.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Instances the brush, emotion the paint,"* says a soft voice. Dear
 | |
| stands attentively nearby. *"The art is...experiences?"*
 | |
| 
 | |
| "Was that a question?" your friend asks.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear shrugs. *"I don't make art because I know why,"* it says, bemused.
 | |
| *"If I knew why, I wouldn't need to make art, then, would I?"*
 | |
| 
 | |
| "So you're a romantic?"
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Perhaps you should watch the exhibit again."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You approach the pedestal just as the loop begins again.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Once again, you're viewing a scene from Dear's point of view.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"We can stay and chat a bit more,"* the fox says. *"Don't worry, I'm
 | |
| running this show, I make the rules."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You watch yourself shrug, say, "Sure, why not? Came for the exhibition,
 | |
| after all. Might as well get the most of it."
 | |
| 
 | |
| When the instance of Dear looks around, you see that the room is almost
 | |
| empty, the last folks, your friends, drifting out the door.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The conversation that follows is low on intensity and high on subtle,
 | |
| emotional cues. You watch yourself and the fox have a slow and easy
 | |
| conversation about 'why's.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The image of Dear looks down, and you see that it's paw is resting atop
 | |
| yours.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You clench your fists.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You know that that instance was designed specifically to be likable,
 | |
| approachable. The big eyes, the softened gaze, the larger ears. You know
 | |
| that you walked right into that.
 | |
| 
 | |
| But hey, you were lonely and honest. You thought it was lonely and
 | |
| honest.
 | |
| 
 | |
| That feeling in your chest becomes a constriction, frustration and anger
 | |
| winning out.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You watch the whole scene again, this time from the other point of view.
 | |
| You watch your own face as it slowly opens up, as you discuss being a
 | |
| fox, sensoria, post-modernism and romanticism. and romance.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You watch as the point of view rises, leans in closer to the you
 | |
| pictured there on the pedestal, watch as it leans in close, into a hug
 | |
| far more intimate than one would expect from someone one had just met,
 | |
| two bars worth of drinks aside.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The viewpoint switches to somewhere above the fox and yourself on the
 | |
| couch, though the audio stays close by.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"The only downside to being a fox,"* says the instance of Dear, and you
 | |
| turn around as casually as possible so that you don't have to watch. You
 | |
| hear, all the same, *"Is that it's really hard to kiss with a muzzle"*
 | |
| 
 | |
| There's Dear, in front of you.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Not the softened overly-kind dear from the blue room. Just normal Dear.
 | |
| Well, 'normal'. Dear-prime.
 | |
| 
 | |
| It's good because you figure the sight of the kind-Dear in this context
 | |
| would've made you quite upset.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Was that unfair of me?"* it asks. It's done something to the room ---
 | |
| unsurprising that it would have admin privileges in its own gallery,
 | |
| come to think of it --- the two of you are in a cone of silence.
 | |
| 
 | |
| "I...well, yes." You try and count the layers of remove from the reality
 | |
| of what you had experienced, try to calculate the cuils in your head.
 | |
| The experience, the exhibit on the pedestal, talking to the artist.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You shake your head. Dear waits.
 | |
| 
 | |
| "I'd say you did an admirable job with the exhibition."
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Admirable?"* It tilts his head, looking almost canine in that moment.
 | |
| *"I set up a situation --- several, really --- in which audience members
 | |
| feel emotions toward ephemeral constructs and made it art. I don't know
 | |
| if that's admirable. It's just art."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You begin to reply, but it cuts you short.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"I'm an artist, that's what I do. I'm a person, though."* It's grin
 | |
| looks weary, *"Also a fox-person, but a person. And I feel like I cut
 | |
| too deep with that one. Was that unfair of me?"*
 | |
| 
 | |
| Your shoulders sag. Dear waits.
 | |
| 
 | |
| "I don't know," you admit. "I had a few drinks, the exhibit was
 | |
| stressful. It was supposed to be stressful like you said. Just...it may
 | |
| have been an act, but I fell for it pretty hard."
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear waits. You feel discomfited.
 | |
| 
 | |
| "Look, it's just silly, is all. I don't even know why it affected me so
 | |
| much," you trail off, trying to decide how much further to go on.
 | |
| "Look," you repeat, shaking your head. "Was it true? What you said? Are
 | |
| you lonely? Were you earnest? Were you coming on to me?"
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear nods, simple and straightforward. *"It's perhaps easy for me to
 | |
| talk about because I rehearsed hard for this shit, but yeah, I'm lonely
 | |
| as hell. I fork to form relationships and keep myself...I mean, I don't
 | |
| lie in my work if I can help it."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| It's your turn to wait, which discomfits Dear in turn.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"I'm sorry,"* it says. *"I did cut too deep. Wasn't thinking. It's not
 | |
| my goal with these things to damage anyone's trust in instances or in
 | |
| me. It's just that I don't make art because I know why. If I knew why, I
 | |
| wouldn't need to make art."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| The fox hesitates for a moment, then sighs. *"I feel really bad about
 | |
| this. I'm sorry. I'd like to do what I can to regain your trust."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| The weight of decision hangs heavy around your neck, heavy enough to bow
 | |
| your head. There's very little you feel you can say without making that
 | |
| decision right then, so you stay silent for a moment.
 | |
| 
 | |
| Finally, "I feel like you're trying to ask me out."
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"I'm not **not** asking you out,"* Dear looks cautious. It smiles
 | |
| faintly.
 | |
| 
 | |
| So do you.
 | |
| 
 | |
| "Listen, can you give me a night? Let me put some thought into it."
 | |
| 
 | |
| It nods. *"Fair. And listen, I really am sorry. There are bits of this
 | |
| show that I wrote thinking that they'd lead to one thing, some
 | |
| spectacular art, and they led to, er, this."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You nod, saying, "I get that. Kind of like a choose-your-own-adventure
 | |
| story that got a little out of hand."
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear shrugs, *"I guess."* It hesitates for a moment, then draws a card
 | |
| out of it's left pocket, reaching out with its right paw at the same
 | |
| time, a perfectly formal business card exchange.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You grin and, on a whim, turn down your touch sensoria way up to accept
 | |
| the card --- a flash of contact information and locations --- and shake
 | |
| the fox's paw.
 | |
| 
 | |
| It's *very* soft.
 | |
| 
 | |
| The Medium
 | |
| ----------
 | |
| 
 | |
| The fifth pedestal, the one in the center of the room, is four
 | |
| recordings playing at once.
 | |
| 
 | |
| They all feature you. They all feature the things that you did during
 | |
| your time here in the exhibition. All of those sly forks and subtle
 | |
| mergers.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"Did you think I did not know?"* a soft voice says beside you.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You feel a heat rise to your cheeks. "I...I mean, I didn't--"
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear holds up a paw, indicating silence. It seems fond of the gesture.
 | |
| *"I knew."* It smiles. You find it a touch odd that the smile is simple
 | |
| and kind, not sly and knowing, not triumphant, and you're not sure why.
 | |
| *"I knew and expected it."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| "Is it okay?"
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear laughs. *"Of course it is! This is a show on instance art. That's
 | |
| why it's expected. That's why there's five small exhibits here, not
 | |
| four."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You smile tentatively.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"That was a rather Dispersionista thing to do for a Tracker."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| "I may have had a few drinks before."
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"I suspect a good many of those here did."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| "So why did you allow it?"
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear spreads its hands in a graceful gesture before clasping them at its
 | |
| front once more. Its tail, you notice, is swaying behind it, steady.
 | |
| *"You and I have talked about this."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| "I suppose we have," you mumble, still sorting through the merged
 | |
| memories.
 | |
| 
 | |
| *"SF calls me an instance artist. Hell, I call myself an instance
 | |
| artist, but it's not totally accurate. I'm closer to a director, though.
 | |
| I organize the stage, the crew --- even if they're all me --- and the
 | |
| choreography. You're the art though, or close enough to it. I won't say
 | |
| audience, or actors. I don't like the play metaphor all that much, since
 | |
| the art isn't in the acting. There is no acting."* It shrugs, *"But the
 | |
| metaphor will serve."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| You nod, watching the multiple feeds play out in their own courses.
 | |
| There's a card in your pocket, the dot on a question mark of an
 | |
| unanswered question. None of these videos bring you any closer to an
 | |
| answer.
 | |
| 
 | |
| After a few silent moments together, you ask Dear, "What are we supposed
 | |
| to do with our experiences here?"
 | |
| 
 | |
| Dear grins. *"This isn't a lecture. No classroom, no notes, no papers to
 | |
| write. It's not a tool that you take away to use,"* it pauses, that grin
 | |
| going sly. *"And even if it were, that's your fucking job, not mine."*
 | |
| 
 | |
| -----
 | |
| 
 | |
| No one seems to have come out of the exhibit unscathed.
 | |
| 
 | |
| A few bear the rumpled look of the recently roughed-up, but with their
 | |
| safety turned up, that's about as far as the physical effects go.
 | |
| Rather, everyone within the group looks emotionally bruised, bitten,
 | |
| scratched. Some look dazed, some hurt, but no one looks blasé.
 | |
| 
 | |
| In that, Dear, Also, The Tree That Was Felled was successful.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You and your group walk to another bar. Quiet, subdued.
 | |
| 
 | |
| You give the low-slung building a wide berth. Only you came away with
 | |
| something. Two things. A card in your pocket, and a decision to make.
 | 
