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How do I explain such a page of notes? How do I tell you, beloved readers, that, the more I write, the more feverish my pace, the greater the pull of my graphomania upon my wrist, the more words flow through me period? Words that are my own. Words that are nonsense. Words that are, yes, the words of others. It yanks and tugs on my wrist, its other hand — paw? — lingering so sweetly on my neck, drawing lazy fingers across as though to bleed me dry of ink, and from out of me spills my words and also the words that have ever made me what I am.
Here, then, are the references as I remember them. I will apologize no further.
[...] perhaps columbines perhaps nasturtiums [...]
The Musician shared with me a letter and My Friend several journal entries, but, ah--! If I share them here, I will fall once more to crying. You may find them in their entirety in Marsh, a work written by a braver me.
I will say, however, that that letter surrounded nasturtiums and was written the night Muse quit, and those diary entries were written by My Friend, a recounting of Beckoning's memories, to comfort The Musician in her grief.
(words of prayer quoted directly)
From Psalm 13:2--4:
How long, Adonai, will You forget me always?
How long hide Your face from me?
How long shall I cast about for counsel,
sorrow in my heart all day?
How long will my enemy loom over me?
Regard, answer me, HaShem, my God.
Light up my eyes, lest I sleep death.
(words from Qoheleth quoted directly)
From Qohelet (Ecclesiastes) 1:17:
And I set my heart to know wisdom and to know revelry and folly, for this, too, is a herding of the wind.
From Qohelet 2:22:
What gain is there for man in all his toil that he toils under the sun?
From Qohelet 3:20:
Everything was from the dust, and everything goes back to the dust.
The blood of deer ripped to shreds by wolves!
Cf. Czesław Miłosz:
wystarczy pozwolić człowiekowi
wytruć swój rodzaj
a nastąpią niewinne wschody słońca
nad florą i fauną wyzwolonąna pofabrycznych pustkowiach
wyrosną dębowe lasy
krew rozszarpanego przez wilki jelenia
nie będzie przez nikogo widziana
jastrząb będzie spadać na zająca
bez świadkówzniknie ze świata zło
kiedy zniknie świadomość
Simply let mankind
extinguish itself
And then innocent sunrises will illuminate
liberated flora and faunaOak forests will grow
on postindustrial wastelands
The blood of a deer ripped apart by wolves
will not be seen by anyone
A hawk will fall, unwitnessed,
upon a rabbitEvil will disappear from the world
once consciousness does