Split chapter

content/read/036.md

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-# Debarre --- 2350
+# Ioan Bălan --- 2350
 
-When Debarre received the ping from End Waking, he quickly excused himself from dinner and dashed out into the back yard to respond. The last time he'd received a message in the middle of a period of overflowing, it had been when the skunk's leg had been impaled on a branch, so he hoped against hope that it wasn't the entire tent washing away in a flood this time. It was getting on in spring --- still a bit early for floods, but one never knew...
+Sleep was the first obstacle they ran into.
 
-"E.W.?" he said. "What's up? You okay? Is the tent?"
+While True Name had, at one point, sat up long enough to drink half a glass of water, she had yet to leave the bed, and with her still down for the count, the instance of May that had remained was unwilling to leave her side, even for dinner, which she declined.
 
-"The tent is fine, my dear," he replied. "I apologize if I interrupted, but I have some news regarding May Then My Name, Ioan, and True Name, and you requested that I message you. Besides, I need to speak about it with someone other than them. Someone not an Odist."
+"You don't think sleeping with her will be enough to keep you comfortable through the night?"
 
-He frowned down to the lawn, kicking at a tuft of crabgrass. "Well, if you're getting in touch, I'm assuming it's urgent."
+She rolled her eyes and poked em in the stomach with a dull claw. "It is not just that I do not want to sleep alone. I want to sleep with you."
 
-There was a sense of a sigh from the other end. "I am sorry, Debarre."
+Ioan blinked, laughed, and rubbed at the back of eir neck. "Right, sorry, I guess I've been stuck on logistics mode for a bit."
 
-"Fuck, I'm sorry, E.W. That came out way snarkier than intended. I understand. I only meant to ask if it was the type of thing where I should fork and come by right away."
+"Is this not emotional?"
 
-"Please," End Waking said, sounding relieved. "There is nothing to be done, but I am very impatient to speak with someone."
+"It is! I'm just...overwhelmed or something."
 
-"You? Impatient?" Debarre laughed. "I'll be right over."
+May nodded and looped her arms up around eir shoulders. "That much I understand, my dear."
 
-He forked off Debarre#RelEW and watched him step from the sim, then spent another few seconds looking out into the yard, trying to remember the last time anything had been so important that it had required him leaving immediately. Something other than a tree falling on his boyfriend, that is.
+"Would it make sense if I added a cot or something in there? I could at least sleep nearby."
 
-"Well, shit," he muttered, turning to head back inside. "This is gonna be a mess."
+She perked up and tilted her head. "One moment. Or...well, come with me."
+
+May led em to True Name's room where the skunk was slouched over on the bed, head resting in the other instance of May's lap, the two of them tucked into the nest of pillows in the corner.
+
+"Let me reduce--" The May who had stayed with Ioan quit, leaving the other instance of her to quickly incorporate the merge and continue, "--conflicts. True Name, are you able to speak?"
+
+The answer was a long time coming. "Some," she croaked.
+
+May nodded. "I am not going to leave, but it is getting close to bedtime. I am also not comfortable not being near Ioan. May ey sleep in here with us?"
+
+True Name slowly rolled her head to the side enough to squint at Ioan through one eye. Her cheek-fur was a mess of tear tracks. "Ioan?"
+
+"I can make a cot by the bed," ey said, then laughed. "Or just another, smaller bed, I guess. No need to make one of those uncomfortable things."
+
+She slowly pushed herself up to a sitting position, though she remained half-slouched against May. "Can you...make the bed bigger?"
+
+"Well, I mean..." ey shrugged helplessly, looking to May.
+
+The skunk tilted her head back against the wall, looking up to the ceiling thoughtfully. "I do not see why not, I suppose," she said, sounding distant.
+
+"Worried?" True Name mumbled.
+
+Ioan shifted eir weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "I just, uh," ey stammered. "I don't want to make things weird. I can't even imagine all you're going through."
+
+True Name laughed hoarsely. "It is not a comfortable...time for us, no." She sighed, sat up further, and rubbed at her face. "Preference...make bed larger and join...second choice, other bed."
+
+Ey nodded. "I can make the bed bigger. Should I make a second set of covers?"
+
+She swallowed several times in a row, a sign of tears to come ey well knew from May. "Can I ask...can you two..."
+
+May got her arms around the skunk and shushed her gently. "We will work it out."
+
+Ioan hesitated a moment longer before willing the bed to expand another half meter in width. A second set of covers and pillows spooled themselves out onto it as well, just in case.
+
+Ey paced back and forth a few times, shook eir head, then waved a hand again to bring a set of pajamas into being on the bed. Sleeping in eir usual dress of a pair of boxers didn't seem quite appropriate at the moment.
+
+May blinked down at the clothes, giggled quietly, and shook her head. *"You are such a nerd,"* she subvocalized through a sensorium message so as not to disturb True Name. *"It is a good idea, but you are a total nerd."*
+
+Ey shrugged helplessly, gathered up the loose lounge pants and shirt to go change.
+
+*"I have no clue how tired I even am,"* ey sent once ey returned. *"Or if I'll even be able to sleep here."*
+
+*"If you need to sneak off to sleep in our bed, you can."*
+
+*"I'm* also *unwilling to sleep without you, so..."*
+
+Her expression softened. She tilted her muzzle down to whisper something to True Name, and when she received a nod in response, she signed *okay* and patted the bed to invite em up.
+
+Ey nodded and climbed onto the (now much larger) bed so ey could settle down beside May in the nook of pillows. Getting eir arm around her, ey let her rest her head on eir shoulder. It was a little awkward with True Name still slouched against her side, but it worked well enough.
+
+*"I'm surprised she's so...physical,"* ey sent.
+
+*"She was not, at first, but I suspect she is working her way from past to present. She slowly got closer and closer as she learned how I did the same."*
+
+It made sense, at least. Whenever ey'd dealt with a longer merge --- eir longest had been around thirteen months, and a particularly boring project at that --- it always felt like the memories were interleaving themselves in with the ones ey already had, histories slowly zippering themselves into consensus. Conflicts, then, were the snags one encountered along the way, and one would have to dump energy into either reconciling or discarding memories. It was a very consuming task, and that True Name had been able to speak at all was far more than ey could have done.
+
+*"Think it's overriding the bits of her and End Waking that aren't keen on touch?"* ey asked.
+
+*"Must be."*
+
+*"How are you doing with it?"*
+
+She sighed, at which True Name squinted up to her, then over to Ioan, offering a weak smile before settling back into processing.
+
+*"I do not know, my dear. It has activated all of my care instincts, so I am happy to make her comfortable in all of the ways I know how. It helps, then, that those are all of the ways she knows now, too, or at least is learning. If I focus on that, I feel very positive. It is only when I get distracted and ruminating that I begin to spiral. It is more comfortable for me to focus on caring for someone now than it is to think about boundaries or Zacharias or Jonas."*
+
+Ey kissed between May's ears, murmuring, "You're a good person, May."
+
+The skunk lifted her snout to tuck it up under eir chin.
+
+"You two...are disgusting," True Name mumbled. "Keep it up."
+
+May laughed and tightened her grip around her briefly. "Hush, you. We will work on going to bed soon. I hope that you can get some sleep."
+
+She only shrugged.
+
+"Well, either way, I will let you keep the corner nest and be right here. Ioan can take the outside."
+
+"Keeping em...away?"
+
+May frowned. "I am keeping myself close to you."
+
+"I kid. I have not...even gotten there, yet," True Name said, slowly pushing herself up once more and frowning at just how far away the glass of water was. Ioan leaned forward to grab it for her. She drank carefully. "But if it...also keeps awkwardness down...that is good, too."
+
+Ioan accepted the glass from her once she finished, re-filling it from the pitcher they'd brought in and setting it on the windowsill near the nook so that she could get to it herself. "We can talk about that later. For now, I think it'll work alright."
+
+True Name nodded and settled down into her nest of pillows.
+
+May and Ioan stayed up a little longer, chatting through sensorium messages to let True Name process in peace. Cognizant of her mention that she felt better when not thinking about boundaries, ey kept the topics light, asking about favorite things and letting her rant about plays from her past that she'd hated.
+
+Nearly an hour later, just as May started to nod off, True Name yelped and sat up, scrambling back against the wall away from them. "You know!" she shouted. "Codrin knows!"
+
+It took only a moment for understanding to click into place. Both ey and May sat up to give her a bit more space.
+
+"Hush, my dear," May said, voice soothing. "It is okay. Remember Dear's letter."
+
+"I...I cannot-- It is too much!"
+
+Ioan held still, hands flat on eir thighs. The urge to wipe the sweat from eir palms was pressing against em, but ey wanted to at least appear calm, even if ey didn't feel such.
+
+May began to crawl towards True Name, then stopped when her cocladist shied away from her. "Codrin has not spoken it aloud, not even with True Name#Castor. I confirmed with Dear: ey only said *that* ey heard it, and that is all that ey told Ioan."
+
+She snatched a pillow from the pile and clutched it to her chest, wide-eyed. "Why?"
+
+"Ey couldn't be the only one," Ioan said quietly. "We don't do as well under pressure as you, we don't...well..."
+
+"Keep secrets?" she growled.
+
+May held up her paws disarmingly. "They keep secrets very well. They just do not keep many."
+
+She glanced sharply at May, then said to Ioan, "Ey did not tell you the Name? No one else knows?"
+
+"No. The message was individual-eyes-only. I haven't even shown May." After a moment's thought, ey added, "But I can unlock it for you, if you want. It's in an exo I haven't looked at since."
+
+"Sweep the whole sim," she snapped.
+
+Ey nodded, swept the sim of everyone but the three of them, and instructed the perisystem architecture to print out the *0 individuals swept* receipt onto a slip of foolscap, which ey handed over.
+
+"Move back, May Then My Name," she instructed, quieter this time. When May obliged, the skunk crawled closer to em and set up a cone of silence with secure visual ACLs. She was panting and shaking, though ey was pleased to see that at least the anger that had swelled briefly had subsided once more into something more manageable. Ey didn't think any of them were up for a shouting match. Once she'd knelt beside em, whispered, "Show me."
+
+Ey drew the sheet out of the air, holding it up for True Name to see the fully redacted text, then unlocked it for her eyes only and handed it over.
+
+She read it through top to bottom a few times, set it down and kneaded her paws against her face, then picked it up to read it once more.
+
+Finally, shoulders sagging, she handed it back. "Re-secure it and destroy it, please."
+
+Ey did so and held up eir hands. "I'm sorry, True--"
+
+She patted eir arm with a shaking paw. "Please do not apologize." After dropping the cone of silence, she continued, "I should have...I should have learned from...I am sorry."
+
+May held out a paw once more, and this time True Name took it, letting herself be guided back to the nest of pillows, where she slumped down once more, expression glassy. "Could themself have peeped --- And seen my Brain --- go round ---" she mumbled.
+
+"Rest, my dear. It is okay," May said quietly. "Do you want company?"
+
+"Too much...but I..." After a shuddering breath, she shook her head. "I will...be fine. We will speak later."
+
+May nodded and crawled back over to Ioan, nudging em to lay down so that she could tuck in against eir front. She remained tense, and when ey sent a gentle sensorium ping, she sniffled and shook her head.
+
+Tiredness eventually won them over, though, and, despite the room being mirrored from what ey was used to, the bed was the same, comfortable one ey'd slept in for the last century, the house held the same sense of 'home' as ever. May curled against eir front as she always did, and while it was strange seeing True Name just beyond her, it was still where ey belonged.
+
+The last thing ey remembered before falling asleep was watching the way True Name had curled to face May, the two skunks holding each others' paws once more, and thinking to emself, *This isn't how I pictured things winding up if I had somehow been able to fix things between them, but it could certainly be worse.*
 
 -----
 
-Debarre#RelEW was greeted by the sight of End Waking kneeling in the clearing across from May Then My Name.
+Waking brought confusion. Something about the inversion from their normal bed, of having fallen asleep on eir other side than ey usually did, induced a subtle sense of vertigo at first. The pajamas were also bunched up around em strangely, adding a subtle sense of constriction. As sleep slowly seeped away, though, the feeling lessened and ey was able to relax in the warmth beneath the covers.
 
-"Oh, company," he said, frowning. "Wasn't expecting two of you."
+Warmer than expected, perhaps. May was still in eir arms, as usual, but the position felt off with the addition of a second warm bulk.
 
-"You messaged...wait, does that mean you are a fork?" May Then My Name said, frowning at End Waking.
+Ey tried to puzzle it out through the fog of doziness that still surrounded em. Eventually, ey gave up and levered eir eyes open, blinking a few times to bring the world into focus.
 
-"It does, yes."
+At some point in the night, True Name had apparently rolled over and wound up curled in May's arms, much as she was curled in eirs, and with with eir arm resting atop May's, ey was left hugging two skunks.
 
-"I never knew you had it in you," she said, sounding proud. To Debarre, she said, "Did this asshole tell you why I am here?"
+Ey lay there for a while, groggily trying to piece together eir thoughts on the situation. As far as ey could remember in eir still sleep-addled state, ey'd never been this close to True Name before. There had been the occasional casual touch, a few touches out of necessity --- grabbing her hand to get away from Guōweī, lifting her after End Waking's merge --- but even going back to when ey'd first met her, there'd been very little touch. It made sense, given her personality, and yet here she was, all cuddled up with the two of them. If nothing else, ey should probably decide whether or not to extricate eir arm from the situation to ease that awkwardness.
 
-He gave her a hug before sitting down with them. "He said it had something to do with you, Ioan, and True Name, and that he needed to talk to a non-Odist. That's why I was surprised."
+Ah well, ey was probably worrying too much about this, just laying there and ruminating.
 
-She grinned. "You will have your chance, my dear. I will not be here long. I needed to step out for a moment, and figured I would catch End Waking up. I am happy to see you as well, though."
+*"You almost certainly are, Mx. Bălan,"* came the barest whisper of a sensorium message. *"Especially if you are mumbling."*
 
-"Happy to see you too. You're always welcome over to my place, too."
+Ey jolted at the words impinging on eir senses, getting a sleepy grumble out of May.
 
-"Of course, yes. This did involve End Waking, though, so alas, I could not go make you uncomfortable with my flirting."
+*"Sorry,"* ey replied to True Name.
 
-He shoved at the skunk, who giggled.
+There was a note of amusement, of almost-laughter, as she sent, *"It is okay, dear. What are you worried about? You only mumbled the last bit."*
 
-"Well, okay. What's up? You finally merge down?"
+Eir mind raced as ey tried to figure out how best to explain what ey'd been cycling over.
 
-She blinked, looking startled. "Yes, actually. How did you guess?"
+*"I rolled over sometime in the night --- I do not know when, I was memory-sick --- and have been staying still to keep from waking you two. Would you like me to move?"*
 
-"Ioan mentioned it when we talked last. How'd it go? Did she explode?"
+*"No..."* ey replied hesitantly. *"But you guessed right. I hope this isn't weird or anything. If you need to--"*
 
-"Not at all, no. Actually..." She shrugged, poking at the dirt with a twig. "Actually, I am finding myself rather fond of her, now."
+*"Ioan, I asked after your preferences,"* she chided. *"I am okay, I promise."*
 
-"Bullshit," he growled.
+Ey hid the heat rising to eir cheeks by burying eir face in May's fur. *"Right, sorry. You're okay there. I'm just being awkward."*
 
-"Debarre," End Waking murmured. 
+Ey felt True Name relax. *"We both are. It is comforting and awkward in equal measure. One third of me is very happy to be held, one third would really rather not be touched, and one third is simply confused. I am of three minds."*
 
-May Then My Name waved a paw. "It is okay. You do not have to like her. You do not even have to interact with her. End Waking wanted you to know about some of the practical considerations, but neither of us are planning on swaying your opinion of her."
+*"Have you finished merging, then?"*
 
-He frowned and leaned back on his palms. "Sorry. I guess I'm just worried about you. She's not exactly known for her openness and honesty without ulterior motives, so."
+There was a subtle rustle of fur against pillow as the skunk shook her head. *"I have the memories in place, but there are many conflicts yet to process. It is easier to put those on hold, at least, so that I can make fun of you for mumbling for a little bit."*
 
-She smiled wanly. "No, she is not. A fact I have not forgotten. Needless to say, I merged down, and she is making plans to meet up with Jonas, now."
+Ey smirked. *"Har har. All the same, I'm glad you made it through to this far, at least."*
 
-"That falls more in line with practical concerns," he conceded. "And Jonas still wants both of you there?"
+*"Thank you, Ioan. As am I."* 
 
-"As far as I know, yes," End Waking said. "I have spoken with True Name several times over the last few weeks and she has a plan of sorts. I do not know how successful it will be, but it is better than nothing."
+They fell back into silence then. Ioan spent a while marveling at the mix of coziness and strangeness. It *was* comfortable, there with the two skunks. May was in eir arms as she should be, and True Name, similar as she was, fit well enough in the mix. The strangeness, then, came from the knowledge that she was specifically True Name. This was so counter to what ey knew of her from the years prior, especially the version of her that she'd become over the past few weeks since End Waking's merge.
 
-"Wait, *you've* been talking with her, too?"
+Ey could already tell that she'd changed, though, even beyond the fact that she'd wound up as close as this. Her speech patterns were shifting once again, losing some of their formality, finding their way back to ground from the high-minded patterns she'd picked up from her other cocladist, and yet they weren't totally those of May, either. They didn't sound the same, just more alike than they had before.
 
-"Yes."
+She was tripled, now. She was True Name and she was End Waking and she was May. Whether or not she would become something new or remain thus ey didn't think even she knew. The adjustment would certainly take time for everyone. Ey liked End Waking quite a bit as a friend, but that friendship was different than that of eirs with True Name. Ey was friends with May, but in that way that partners were still friends beneath the romance of a big-R Relationship, and there was certainly no comparison to be made between the other small-r relationships. If she was of three minds, so was ey.
 
-He shook his head. He could already feel his hackles up, and this wasn't helping. "Can't fucking believe it."
+*"Unrelated to comfort or awkwardness, I am going to get up to make coffee,"* she sent, nudging em out of rumination once more. *"I did not sleep, and if I do not have coffee soon, I shall surely die."*
 
-May Then My Name frowned, leaned over to hug him around the shoulders, and whispered, "I am going to leave you to it, but first, remember who you were, who you are, and imagine who you will become. Let go, have fun, but above all, remember that you love him and that he loves you. Those are the rules of engagement."
+May grumbled again when True Name rolled away from her, gathering the remainder of the covers and a stray pillow up to replace the space that had been left by her cocladist's absence. Ey couldn't tell if the skunk was actually awake or not, but she settled down once more, if nothing else.
 
-After a moment's hesitation, he returned the hug. Had she said it in anything less than her most earnest voice, he might have scoffed, but as it was, he could see himself falling for the gentle manipulation as though from a meter above. He could resent her, but she had said exactly what it was that he needed to hear.
+True Name sat up and scrubbed at her face with her paws, wiping the grit of sleep --- or perhaps tears --- from her eyes. She grinned down to em. *"My assessment remains. You two are so cute that it is disgusting."*
 
-Because of course she had. She was May Then My Name Die With Me. She knew just how to. She was built to.
+Stifling a laugh, ey rolled eir eyes. *"Blame May."*
 
-"You're such an asshole," he whispered back, then kissed her cheek to take any sting out of the words. "I'll do my best. Now, shoo."
+*"Way ahead of you, dear,"* she sent as she crawled out of bed. *"I will make coffee and then I will need some alone time on the plain. I will ensure there is enough for all."*
 
-She laughed and licked at one of his whiskerpads. "Yes, yes."
+There was a quiet clattering from the kitchen, mugs being shifted about and the coffee pot being set in place, doubtless another instance of her making enough noise to let them know what she was up to.
 
-After she leaned over to pat End Waking on the knee, she stood up and stepped out of the sim.
+It was enough to wake May the rest of the way, the skunk stretching out against eir front and yawning wide before she shifted about to face em. "Pillows," she mumbled, peeking down at the bundle she still held in her arms. "Oh, did I...?"
 
-Debarre rubbed his paws over his face. "Where's your root instance? Within an hour's walk?"
+Ioan nodded, placing a kiss atop her head. "She said she rolled over against you, yeah."
 
-End Waking nodded. "Up-river, yes. Would you like me to walk you there?"
+"Sorry, Ioan."
 
-He shook his head. "Give me some time to think. There's still some of me that's stuck on dinner parties, then another chunk on this whole thing, and another still on May telling me about these rules of engagement or whatever."
+"It's fine by me, I slept through most of it," ey said, chuckling. "She and I talked about it a bit before you woke up. She's confused about it, but seemed like she needed it."
 
-The skunk smiled faintly. "Twenty minutes' walk up-river, then. He will know that you are coming."
+"She is learning my wicked ways," she mumbled against eir front. "I am happy to hear that it was helpful and that you are okay with it, though."
 
-After End Waking quit, Debarre started to trudge up the faint trail that they'd already worn heading up along the river.
+"Mmhm. How about you?"
 
-He knew that May Then My Name was right, that he probably needed to at least take into account that if Sasha and Michelle could change enough to make the Odists, then surely True Name could change enough to become someone that even her up-tree instances could like, just as he knew that he probably shouldn't take that out on his boyfriend, frustrated as he was.
+May yawned again before poking her nose up against eir chin. "I do not know. I slept through it, too, apparently. It fits with what I said earlier, though. I am pleased to care for those around me."
 
-Still, it was hard to square the image of End Waking and True Name meeting up voluntarily. What was it that he'd said when Ioan had come by asking after camping supplies? *"I need to be better to her than she might be to me"*?
+"She also called us disgusting again."
 
-*Remember that you love him,* he thought, even as he trudged up the path. *Even if you're working to undermine all that shit that she's done with Jonas, at least you still love E.W.*
+"That is because we are. Is that her making coffee?"
 
-The skunk was crouching at the edge of the stream, washing his paws after having apparently just finished gutting a trio of large trout.
+Ey nodded, nudging her snout with eir chin.
 
-"I understand if you are upset, Debarre," he said, keeping his gaze on his paws as he scrubbed rather than looking up to him.
+"Good girl."
 
-"No," Debarre said, sitting down next to him. "Or, well, I am, but it's whatever. I just don't see how something as stupid as May Then My Name merging down solves anything about this. Suddenly, you two are all buddy-buddy?"
+A few minutes later, True Name returned, carrying three mugs of coffee. Ioan and May pushed themselves up to sitting so that they could accept.
 
-End Waking shook his paws free of most of the water before drying them on the hem of his cloak. "We are not. I am pleased that she is no longer who she was, but she is not a friend. She is not me."
+"I am sorry I shouted last night. I think I understand Dear's letter better now."
 
-"But you're visiting her!"
+May nodded.
 
-"On business, such as it is. May Then My Name has asked me over a few times." The skunk finally looked at him, gaze level and expression flat. "Did you not say that you would rather she not die?"
+"I was wondering if you didn't know about...all that before last night, honestly," Ioan said.
 
-"Yeah, but that doesn't mean that you need to interact with her. I don't want her to get offed by some asshole politician, but I also don't particularly want her in my life."
+"I have been fed bad and incomplete information for years now. I had not suspected just to what extent. I am still frightened, if I am honest, but I will trust you two on this. It is complicated and bound up in emotions I do not understand, but I will trust you." She shook her head. "But I cannot speak of it any more right now."
 
-End Waking shifted from his crouch to sitting cross-legged on a rock on the bank of the river. "I do understand that, yes. I do not particularly want her in mine, either, but I am now a part of hers, whether she likes it or not. I have been able to help her process some aspects of the merge and also tell her more of how I feel to her face. Once this is over, she will not need to be a part of my life any more if I so desire, and I can move on to defining myself through something other than penance."
+"Heading outside?" ey asked.
 
-Debarre scratched a claw through the dirt of the bank, worrying a pebble free so that he could throw it into the river while he thought. Finally, he nodded, saying, "Okay, I get that. What will you define yourself as, then? Like, don't get me wrong, I'm happy you aren't her, and in part specifically *because* you aren't her, but that's not the only reason I love you."
+She nodded. "Yes. I will need an hour or so of nothing but the morning and the grass."
 
-"I do not know, my love," he said after a long silence. "If I am defined by not being her, by not being what I was, then what is left? I cannot say my love for you, because all of the clade has that to some extent. I cannot even say that I have being an Odist, because, after all these years and with all of her changes over the last few months, I am not even sure that I am that."
+"Of course."
 
-"You can be just End Waking," Debarre said gently. "Like, you can just drop the clade and be that nerd who lives in the woods."
+May nodded. "Take the space you need."
 
-The skunk laughed and elbowed him in the side. "We have rather turned our clade identity into idolatry of a sort, have we not?"
+True Name leaned over enough to dot her nose against the skunk's cheek. "Thank you, dear. If you cook breakfast, I will refrain from telling Ioan embarrassing stories."
 
-"Don't get me wrong, I like where you came from, but I won't be pissed if you drop your clade signifier. Hell, maybe you can even start saying things like 'don't' and 'isn't'."
+"Asshole." She laughed. "Where did this humor come from?"
 
-"Do not push your luck."
+"Your guess is as good as mine, at this point."
+
+"She seems to be doing well," ey said, once she'd made her way outside and down the stairs to the prairie.
+
+"It helps that I did not drop a merge onto her unexpectedly. She had more to process, but more preparation to do so."
+
+"She said she's done getting the memories in order but working on conflicts now."
+
+ May nodded. "About a third of the way done, then."
+ 
+"It's really gratifying to see it going so much more smoothly this time."
+
+"Agreed, yes," she said between sips. "I was not expecting her to turn into a cuddlebug, but I suppose that will level out before long. Was that awkward, this morning?"
+
+Ey shrugged. "A little, I guess. Just hard making it work in my head. Doesn't fit with what I remember of her."
+
+"I cannot picture you getting cozy with *just* True Name, no. I can barely picture her getting cozy with anyone, and that is certainly not even bringing End Waking's general touch-aversion into the equation."
+
+"I'd assume she got cozy with Zacharias, if they were together."
+
+May's expression soured. "We will need to talk about him soon, but I cannot talk about him now."
+
+"Of course."
+
+She made a setting aside gesture, stepping back to the previous topic. "Did that feel like crossing a boundary?"
+
+"Not particularly, no. It just felt like me being awkward, more than anything."
+
+"That is good, then." She finished her coffee and waved the mug away. "I do not know how to feel about it, myself, because I do not know what she will be like when she has finished incorporating the merge. She is not yet settled enough, so I will forgive much that I might not otherwise."
+
+"It's not like she was hitting on me or anything," ey said, laughing.
+
+She smirked. "Are you sure?"
+
+Ey reached over to tug on one of her ears gently. "Yes, I'm sure. I'm dense, but not *that* dense."
+
+The skunk tilted her head at the tug, laughing. "Has your opinion of her as a friend changed?"
+
+Ioan tilted eir head. "How do you mean?"
+
+"I do not imagine that you felt the same about her when she was just True Name as you do now about who she has become. Or is becoming, at least."
+
+"Well, no," ey hazarded. "But I don't know just how, yet."
+
+"Me either."
+
+They reconvened over a simple breakfast of scrambled eggs and potatoes with toast.
+
+"I instructed my fork to quit," True Name said by way of opening the conversation.
+
+"Feeling positive about the merge, then?" ey asked.
+
+"Yes. Having worked through some conflicts, it will not be easy, but I am comfortable with the direction in which it is going." She took a bite of toast piled high with egg and potato, chewing thoughtfully. "It is not all positive, but it has given me hope for a pleasant life moving forward."
+
+"Was your life unpleasant before?" When May frowned at em, ey held up eir hands. "Sorry, maybe that's impertinent. It's not important."
+
+True Name shook her head. "It is okay. It was, yes. It was fulfilling. I felt hopeful and comfortable with the path I had chosen. The work itself was starting to grate on me, but that had less to do with the work than the coworker. Pleasantness was never a focus for me, however."
+
+May, having subsided, finished her bite of toast before asking, "Did you have hope for happiness with just End Waking's merge?"
+
+"No. Not at all." She reached out a paw to give one of May's a squeeze, adding quickly, "Again, I understand --- now more than ever --- why you did what you did, and I do approve of it in light of what is happening with Jonas, but it was an uncomfortable duality in comparison to this more comfortable plurality and I may yet settle into a new singularity. I do not know."
+
+May smiled gratefully, returning that squeeze.
+
+"Meeting up with my fork hammered that point home pretty well. She looked...well, I will not elaborate on the differences I saw. Seeing myself through her eyes, I can tell that she was pleased as well."
+
+"I am very happy to hear that," May said. "Not least of which because you seem to be building a new self rather than simply a raw combination of us."
+
+True Name nodded, finished her plate before setting it aside. "Thank you for breakfast, May Then My Name. Your secrets are safe for another day-- ow!"
+
+"Your high station does not preclude you from being kicked, my dear," May said sweetly. "You deserved that."
+
+The skunk preened.
+
+Ioan watched the exchange, grinning. Beyond just what she'd said, ey could read relief in May's features. That resentment towards her down-tree instance had never quite gone away, ey knew, and, on some level, it likely never would. Still, that True Name was, as the skunks had said, rebuilding herself into a new person seemed to have brought out a new sense of friendliness within eir partner that had been lacking to that point.
+
+Ey wondered if she would go through a reevaluation of who True Name had been before, much as ey had. It was certainly enough that she felt more positive, but ey --- em and Codrin#Castor, perhaps --- seemed to have dropped much of that resentment that had lingered in May and so many others, though whether that was due to a difference in temperament or the relatively short time they'd known the skunk in comparison, ey couldn't tell.
+
+"Is it just me, or is eir mumbling getting worse?" True Name stage-whispered to May.
+
+She whispered back, "Perhaps the centuries are catching up to em. Is this how the Bălans crack? Should we warn Dear?"
+
+"Are all skunks such pests?" Ey smirked.
 
 They laughed.
 
-"You don't have to have this sorted out, though." He shrugged, adding, "You don't even have to stop seeing True Name. I'm sorry I got angry there. I think I just got upset because any chance that you might start liking her felt like something of a betrayal."
+"I mumble more when I'm stressed, that's all."
 
-"I am a ways off yet from liking her, Debarre. I will not say never, but I have gotten to the point where I tolerate her. I will not betray you, though. You or your reactionary friends or whatever she called them."
+"Are you stressed now, my dear?" May asked.
 
-Debarre scrambled to his feet, eyes darting around through the trees. "What the fuck?"
+"It's a stressful time overall, even if this particular morning is pleasant enough."
 
-"The sim is empty, my dear," the skunk said calmly. "I empty it every time someone enters."
+"It feels rather like the morning after a sleepover, yes," True Name said.
 
-"Yeah, but--"
+May nodded eagerly.
 
-"I think about you a lot, Debarre. Certainly more than anyone else I think about. I have pieced together enough."
+"I've never had one of those, so I'll have to take your word for it. Do those always come with cuddling up in the morning?"
 
-He growled. "Well, shit. I mean, I guess I'm an obvious enough choice for it."
+Both skunks splayed their ears and dipped their snouts.
 
-"You are, yes, and doubtless the powers that be have been keeping their eye on you since the dissolution of the Council. I do not know the specifics, nor do I want to. As I said, I will not betray you." End Waking smiled wryly, adding, "And I do not think I am of much interest to any of them, anyway. I rarely leave, and I never enter a building when I do. I am more focused on my next meal than anything else."
+"It depends on the sleepover," May said, adding to True Name, "Are you feeling well enough to discuss boundaries now?"
 
-"Skunks just wanna get fat."
+She hesitated. "We can begin the conversation, though I will need to address further conflicts before long."
 
-End Waking grinned toothily. "It is not *not* true."
+"To be clear," Ioan said. "I'm okay with it, it was just unexpected."
 
-"Well, anyway. Fair enough. I don't imagine you'll be ratting us out, and you're right that they probably already know. I'm just glad that you've been sweeping the place."
+True Name gave a hint of a bow. "One thing that came up in our discussions leading up to the merge is that the one with the greater restrictions in a relationship defines the boundaries. Right now, I suspect that may be one of you two. I am the outsider, here. I have never had to have a conversation such as this."
 
-"I have never caught anyone hitchhiking on you, though I have on May Then My Name and Ioan." He shrugged, gathered up the line of fish. "But speaking of fat, can we go back to cook these? I am not ready for you to stay over, but I would like to eat dinner with you, if you are up for it."
+"My comment about you building up a new self has gone a long way towards soothing any fears," May said. "I think I was worried you might incorporate my memories of the last few decades wholesale and wind up feeling exactly the way that I do about Ioan."
+
+True Name shook her head. "I have taken to heart your requests and declined the personal memories you suggested. There are many conflicts," she said, speaking more slowly. "Perhaps due to your feelings about me as I was, so I am not sure how I feel yet, but...well, may I speak earnestly?"
+
+May and Ioan both nodded.
+
+"On that point, I remember enough to know why it is that you love Ioan. I can see what it is that you see in em. It is as if..." She trailed off, ears pinned flat. "This is so fucking embarrassing. I am sorry. Uh...it is as though there is a world in which I could do the same, but I do not know how to get from here to there. Again, I am sorry, May Then My Name."
+
+There was a long silence around the table while Ioan and May digested this. True Name spent it resting her head in her paws and staring down at her plate.
+
+It was May who broke the silence, saying simply, "May."
+
+True Name sniffled and lifted her head. "Sorry?"
+
+"Stop calling me May Then My Name."
+
+"I--"
+
+"Do not make it weird, True Name," May said, laughing. She held out a paw toward the skunk "Just fucking call me May already."
+
+"Right. May," True Name said, gingerly resting her paw in her up-tree instance's.
+
+"I do not know how you get from this world to that one, either, should that even be something you want, but," she said, taking a deep breath, "so long as you come by that path earnestly and we discuss it in the moment, it is your path to take. Do you have any thoughts, Ioan?"
+
+Ey held up eir hands. "Don't look at me. I don't have a clue."
+
+They laughed.
+
+"We'll see, I guess," ey said, shrugging. "It's all way too much for me to take in right now."
+
+"Perhaps that is a good place to pause," True Name said. "This conversation has those conflicts begging for attention."
+
+"Of course, my dear," May said, giving her paw a squeeze. "Go and walk. There will be time for discussions to come, especially once we are finished with this unpleasant political business."