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 # Ioan Bălan --- 2350
 
-Ioan had never been one for bars. Ey knew that there was an enormous variety of them, that doubtless some would play to eir aesthetic and likes --- the one at the base of the System Central Library came quite close --- and that not all of them subscribed to the "if it's louder, that means everyone's having more fun" school of design.
+Ioan quickly began to wish for boredom. They'd made it into April and so many things had happened. Assassination attempts, centuries of merging, overflowing...
 
-There was just something about the idea. Too much that took place in bars was, at best, confusing. At worst, it was distressing. Ey had no desire to be around the types of intoxication that bars seemed to attract. May had a list of types of drunkenness she'd gotten from somewhere, ey knew, and ey didn't like any of them.
+Ey just wanted to be bored.
 
-Still, this is where Jonas had requested that they meet when ey messaged him.
+At least they'd settled into a routine once more, and it was far more comfortable than either of the previous ones --- when True Name had first moved in, and then after End Waking's merge --- so ey couldn't complain too much.
 
-The venue was of the sultry, dark, wood-paneled variety, with warm, dim lamps hanging pendant over each of the tables and a row of lights above the bar itself. Conversations were kept low by the dimness, with groups of three or four huddled in booths while those at the bar drank alone.
+True Name managed May's merge much more easily than she had End Waking's, and ey could see now the benefits of that week of negotiation beforehand. May had whispered to em one night about the final merge with Michelle and Sasha, about memories crashing down in a cascade of centuries and just how mad that final instance of True Name must have been in those final moments. Even with just one merge, she still occasionally mentioned a pressing memory or two from End Waking demanding attention nearly two months later.
 
-Doubtless Jonas knew of eir distaste. Doubtless this had factored into his decision on venue for this pre-meeting meeting. 
+It was just another part of the routine. A rocky routine, and an exciting one, but still a routine.
 
-Ah well, at least it wasn't a club.
+It wasn't all bad, of course. For every talk they had about meeting with Jonas or what role Zacharias played or some boundary one of them had crossed, there were still the pleasant meals, the shared quiet, and, ey had to admit, ey rather liked who True Name had shaped herself into.
 
-Ey stopped by the bar to get a cider of some sort --- something sweet, ey hoped; ey didn't know the first thing about ciders --- and hunted down an empty booth. The backs of the benches were straight and high, reaching up to the ceiling, leading to a secluded, if not particularly comfortable, space. There, ey sat and sipped eir way slowly through eir cider, waiting for Jonas.
+Ey had certainly liked who she used to be, of course, though in a vastly different way --- three years of coffee dates stood as testament to that. A large part of this, ey'd realized, came with just how much more settled in herself she was. Even that drive she cherished about herself had been tempered into something smoother, less laser-sharp. She was more well-rounded, more able to relax, more able to work without it occupying the whole of her. 
 
-Ey'd shown up, notebook in hand, half an hour early and was half expecting Jonas to be late, sauntering in lazily at quarter past, a way of pressing the dynamic between them, but he arrived right on time, picked up a drink from the bar, and hunted Ioan down. Ey stood to bow to Jonas, then froze. Zacharias stepped into the sim, as well, grinned widely at the sight of Ioan mid-bow. Before even making his way to the table, the fox gave an exaggerated curtsey.
+The weirdest part, though, had to be sleep. They spent two nights staying with True Name while she processed first the memories and then the conflicts before trying to go back to sleeping separately.
 
-"Ioan, wonderful to see you again," Jonas said, grinning. "My most foppish lackey decided to tag along, I trust you won't mind."
+She spent the next day distracted and out of sorts, first begging off breakfast to sit outside, then joining them in the den before getting anxious and slipping off to go lay down again. That night, she woke them a few hours after they'd gone to bed, tearfully asking to join them.
 
-"Of course," ey said through gritted teeth. "The more the merrier."
+"This is so fucking stupid. I feel like a fucking kid," she'd said between sniffles. "I am sorry."
 
-"Precisely, precisely." Jonas raised his martini glass in a toast and gestured back to the booth and Ioan's half-finished drink. "Shall we?"
+May had shushed her and held up the covers for her to climb in, letting her settle back into much the same position she had those first two nights.
 
-Ey nodded and slid back into the booth while Jonas scooted in on the other side of the table, leaving room for Zacharias.
+It had certainly worked well enough, with Ioan rising at eir usual eight o'clock while the two skunks slept in for another hour. Later that day, May had instructed --- or perhaps reminded --- her how to get at least some comfort out of sleeping curled up with a fork.
 
-The fox was only a moment in arriving, showing up with some shockingly yellow drink in a coupe glass. "Ioan, my dear. Wonderful to see you again."
+Still, once a week or so, they'd wake to her asking to join them, and eventually Ioan had given in and expanded their own bed by a half meter to make it roomier when she did. She'd at least been quite understanding when May had requested that it not be every night.
 
-"Please don't call me 'my dear'," ey said, setting up a cone of silence. There was anger, there, somewhere beneath the surface, but ey was somewhat surprised to feel it almost completely overridden by exhaustion, something ey hadn't felt before the two had arrived.
+Ey was unsure of eir feelings on the matter. On the one hand, it was still intensely weird to see True Name, of all people, openly seeking affection and a shared bed, and stranger still to see May welcoming that.
 
-"My love? My--" he began, voice mocking. There was a thump beneath the table and he quickly cut off with a loud yelp, jolting away from Jonas, eyes wide.
+On the other, the nights when she joined them weren't unpleasant, even if it would be a while before ey was used to sharing a bed with anyone other than May. This was to say nothing about the shyness ey felt about eir body. The first few times she had joined them, ey had wrapped emself up in a sheet before leaving the bed to maintain some sense of modesty, though given that these nights had usually meant the skunks slept in, ey eventually gave up on that.
 
-"Shut up, Zacharias," Jonas said mildly, plucking the maraschino cherry out of his drink and dropping it in the fox's. "Business now, prattle later."
+They'd all begun seeing Sarah regularly again, which was a relief. The three of them had even met with her together on one occasion, discussing the path that had led them here and sharing some of their thoughts on how things had wound up in a structured session.
 
-Zacharias sat, frozen, for a moment longer before wiping up some of his spilled drink with a bar napkin. His eyes were still wide, darting between Ioan and his boss. "Right."
+Ioan found eir own sessions particularly helpful when it came to disentangling eir thoughts on the past. Sarah had urged em to trace eir relationship not just with True Name or May, but with the entire Ode clade from that first message of Dear's through to the present, charting eir feelings about each of them and how they differed or were the same. It helped to pull apart what it was that ey liked about them as well as what it was that left em stressed, exasperated, or just plain tired from their interactions.
 
-*Another show of power, most likely,* ey thought. *Why else bring him with?*
+Ey didn't know what the two skunks talked about in their sessions, whether apart or together, but it seemed productive. Not always pleasant, granted: both were left in tears after a few meetings.
 
-"So," ey said aloud. "As I said in the message, We'd like to meet in two days' time. Systime 251+139, 11:00."
+Still, through it all ey was genuinely pleased to see them happy, or at least on their way to happiness.
 
-Mid-sip, Jonas waved his hand vaguely. "Of course, of course," he said, setting his glass back down. "Whenever you're ready, like I said. But come, how are you Ioan? You look tired."
+Ey just needed boredom and ey needed out.
 
-Ey stared at him, trying to piece together how worth it was to actually answer the question. Ey *was* tired, yes. The night before had been a stressful one once ey'd received the request for this additional meeting from Jonas. True Name stayed up late in conversation with both May and End Waking about some clade business ey'd not been privy to, leading to em pacing in the darkened yard for nearly an hour, spring lilacs leaving the air almost too thick to breathe. Ey'd eventually given up on waiting for the skunks. Ey knew if ey stayed up any later, ey'd simply wind up standing at the windows and watching their fire out on the plain.
+It took some convincing --- on all three of their parts, since ey needed to convince emself as much as True Name and May --- but eventually, Ioan worked up the courage to leave the house, seeking out some much needed solitude, even if it was only in the anonymity of public spaces.
 
-*"I think I'm going to head to bed,"* ey had sent May. *"I'm just going to keep cycling if I stay up."*
+The coffee shop ey'd frequented for so long may have been safe, but given that eir last visit had included an attempt on a friend's life, ey opted instead for an afternoon in a library. The one ey frequented also felt fraught, given its association with all of those meetings with Jonas and so many others during the research for the *History*, so ey chose one ey'd never been to before from the directory. Besides, the information was technically available anywhere, libraries just provided a familiar physical location to access it, a social place for gathering around the topic of information, and some physical tools used for manipulating that information that individuals rarely had room for.
 
-There was a hint of a whine to her reply. *"I am sorry, Ioan, I did not realize how late it had gotten. Do you want me to send a fork back?"*
+Beyond that, though, it was the very idea of the space that appealed to em and so many others. Ey'd long ago let go of eir desire to be a librarian. Codrin#Pollux had that covered, and ey'd made eir choice, influenced as it was by eir life with May, to settle into theatre.
 
-*"I don't know, will they be intolerable and antsy?"*
+That didn't remove the appeal, though. Ey could still go to the building and wander through the stacks, dragging fingertips along the spines of books or poring over maps. Ey could still go sit beside a window with a book ey may not even like and, if nothing else, enjoy the sun.
 
-*"Oh, absolutely,"* she had replied, and ey could hear the grin in her voice. *"But I will still send one if you would like."*
+This library had eschewed the flashy exterior of eir normal haunt, that glass-walled cube, opting instead for a low and flat structure, one that took its majesty from the way it sprawled out over its campus, buildings connected by breezeways or tunnels, scattered seemingly at random in such a way as to form irregular courtyards full of benches, gardens, or, in one notable case, a small gallery ey initially mistook for another garden, but for the fact that all of the foliage was made of glass.
 
-*"No, it's alright. Just no sleeping out there, okay?"*
+Ey liked it immensely.
 
-*"Of course. We will return soon."*
+The busiest section of the library was far and away the wing that had been built to house the massive information dump from Artemis. This took the form of a squat, pentagonal building --- one wall for each Artemisian race and one for their shared knowledge --- that bored its way deep into the ground, a slow-sloping spiral winding down along the shelves to allow visitors to browse their way back in time until, at the very bottom, only firstrace had any material. Translation efforts would be running for decades to come, but there was more to read every day.
 
-It was nearly two hours later when the skunks had returned as promised. Two hours of tossing and turning in bed, fretting and fretting and fretting. Eventually, they had fallen into their usual positions, though despite the added rest that this usually brought True Name, none of them had slept well.
+Ey stayed away from this for the day. Ey wanted cozy, not awe-inspiring.
 
-When there was no wink and smile from Jonas, ey let eir shoulders sag and nodded. "Tired, yeah. We're all tired. Just want this over with."
+Finally, having loaded up on a few random finds --- trashy sci-fi, some contemporary phys-side fiction from decades after ey'd uploaded, even a bit of furry fiction from early in the 21st century ey considered bringing home to show May --- ey parked emself in the glass garden and arrayed the books out before em on the table.
 
-"And True Name? How's she?" he asked, still apparently sincere.
+The sci-fi proved to be a little *too* trashy for eir tastes, and while the contemporary fiction was certainly intriguing, it was far too dense for reading when ey was trying to have a lighter, easier day. The furry book struck a nice middle-ground, at least, even if ey couldn't keep the species straight in eir head.
 
-"Look, Jonas, what are you after? We're tired. She's upset. We just want to get on with our lives, and it's all on you."
+Eventually, though, ey gave up and just sat in the sun, watching the way it filtered through the glass leaves and branches of the trees.
 
-"Well, sure, but now my workload's doubled," he said, and there at last was the wink. "Though in all seriousness, I'm just trying to gauge what to expect. May Then My Name and End Waking will be there, too, right?"
+*No better way to realize just how tense you are than by relaxing,* ey thought. 
 
-"Yes," ey said coolly, adding to Zacharias, "Will you?"
+Ey imagined the two skunks also would appreciate some time out of the house, too. Doubtless there were some sims they could visit that would be reasonably safe. Douglas's field, End Waking's forest...well, no longer Arrowhead Lake.
 
-"Would not miss it for the world," the fox said. His ebullience was notably restrained, still, but the grin had returned. He tapped the side of his snout, "Cartoonishly evil, remember?"
+"Hi Serene," ey began, starting up the simplex sensorium message before ey lost both the nerve and the train of thought. "I know it's been a while since we've spoken, so I hope you're well. I have a strange question that might turn into a really big request. After some...very dramatic events, one of our favorite places is no longer safe for us. I guess that's what happens when you just kind of adopt an abandoned sim without knowing much about it.
 
-*I liked you better when Jonas was stomping on your toes,* ey thought.
+"Still, it's become personally meaningful to us over the years, and we're finding ourselves missing it. I don't know if we necessarily need a copy of it, but would it be possible for you to come take a look at it and see about what all would go into creating something similar? It'd be a modification of my home sim. There's no rush, and if nothing else, it'd be good to say hi sometime. Talk soon."
 
-"So you said," ey said aloud.
+Further reading was largely a failure. Ey couldn't get back into any of the books ey'd started, and a certain listlessness tamped down any desire to head back to the shelves to hunt more. Ey left them on a page's cart, an act that almost certainly just recycled the physical instances, and hunted down a cafe.
 
-"And how is May Then My Name?" Zacharias asked. "I know precious little about my down-tree instance, you know. I trust that she is well?"
+Serene sent a gentle sensorium ping just as ey picked up eir tea.
 
-"She is also upset."
+Ey quickly stepped into another courtyard --- this one full of actual greenery, hot and humid --- in order to reply. "Hi, Serene. Thanks for getting back to me."
 
-The fox gasped, mock-effrontery filling his voice. "Not because of me!"
+"No problem," she said, the lack of any smile in her voice quite conspicuous. "Thank you for thinking of me."
 
-"It has been a stressful few months. She doesn't want True Name coming to any harm, either."
+"Of course, no one better."
 
-Zacharias scoffed.
+"Flatterer," she replied, a hint of the usual humor returning. It quickly fled. "Are you in a place where you can speak freely?"
 
-Ey put on eir best smile. "Though yes, she told me that she knew there were still old forks around, but that she'd left them to their own devices and knew nothing about them, so she's surprised to have met you."
+"I...well, give me a moment, and I will make sure of that."
 
-"How very diplomatic," he replied, grinning. "Well, I can assure you that the pleasure was all mine."
+Ey stepped home quickly, stopping in the entryway to sweep emself. No spies. *Thank God,* ey thought. *Wouldn't have put it past them to bug me at the library.*
 
-"So why am I here?"
+Blinking a visually secured cone of silence into being, ey spoke into the sensorium message. "Okay, secure now."
 
-Jonas shrugged. "You mean aside from the fact that I get to see your face when you talk about your skunks? It's fun dragging people around."
+Serene laughed, "Oh, I had just meant away from crowds, no need to go through this much trouble."
 
-Restraining the urge to bridle at 'your skunks', ey gave a hint of a bow. "And what can you tell me about this meeting? I imagine you've got some grand plans about surprising True Name with your ideas for the future, but if nothing else, it'd help me to know what I'm getting into before I get into it."
+"Well, given all that's been going on..."
 
-"Oh, excellent question!"
+There was the sense of a sigh on the other end of the message. "Yes, I suppose you are right. That is why I messaged you back, actually. While it is certainly feasible and I would ordinarily be more than happy, I am not yet ready to engage with True Name."
 
-Ey posted the cap of eir pen and nodded for Jonas to continue.
+"That's fair," ey said after a pause. "I know things are complicated. Do you know of any--"
 
-"I said it was an excellent question, not that I'd answer you, Ioan."
+"Oh goodness, I did not say I would not do it! I will, just...not yet. Please give me some time, my dear."
 
-"I think you will."
+Ey frowned, looking down at eir shoes as ey scuffed one against the parquet floor. "Right, okay. May I ask how you're feeling about this, then? I've had precious little contact with...well, anyone."
 
-"And why's that?"
+There was another sigh. "I do not know yet, Ioan. I am not unhappy for her. I am not displeased that things are coming to a head with Jonas, as that will mean there will be a change, for better or worse. I am just not yet able to engage."
 
-"Because you love to hear yourself talk," ey said. "And because Zacharias is right. This is almost cartoonishly evil, and villains love talking about their grand schemes. I'm ready for your monologue."
+"Of course."
 
-Jonas raised his eyebrows and a slow grin spread over his features. That feverish glint ey'd seen last time shone through for a moment before it was suppressed again. The idea that Jonas might be losing it made em anxious. *Stretched too thin, maybe?*
+"Give me the address of the sim, at least. I will take a look and let you know what I think."
 
-"You see, this is why I like you, Ioan," Jonas said. "The whole Bălan clade, that is. You hit that sweet spot between patient and impatient where you can stay calm, but you don't just wait forever."
+"Peak Lake#587a9383."
 
-Ey waited.
+"Seriously?" Serene laughed. "I have not heard that address in decades."
 
-"Alright then, a bit of a preview." He finished half of his drink in a few swallows. "There's a bunch of changes coming in the pipeline--"
+"Wait, did you--"
 
-"This AVEC?"
+"It is not mine, no, but a student of mine made it. I do not imagine they still have ACLs, but I will ask."
 
-Zacharias frowned, but Jonas was already nodding, "Got it in one. That's right at the top of the list. See, the LVs are too far away to communicate effectively with phys-side, getting further every day, and that puts us in a unique position, here. Suddenly, we differ from the LVs in a fundamental way. I really can't overstate how big of a deal this is, Ioan."
+Ey shook eir head. "You guys seriously have your hands in everything, don't you?"
 
-"Suddenly we have to prove our greener grass to those phys-side."
+"It is not *not* true."
 
-"Right. The direction that we need to take with Lagrange can't just be the same old one we've been taking before. In this, True Name and I differ." He shrugged, rocking his glass gently back and forth on the table before taking another sip. "She wanted to continue on her path of subtlety, I disagreed."
+"There are billions of people here, I don't know how that'd even be possible."
 
-Ey snorted. "Disagreed? You tried to assassinate her, Jonas."
+"How many sim designers focusing on nature do you think there are?"
 
-"What are bullets but a disagreement?"
+"I haven't the faintest."
 
-Ioan rolled eir eyes.
+"Well, how many of *us* do you think there are?"
 
-"You and I disagree, then. It's like I said, though, sometimes mommies and daddies fight, Ioan. We've spent the past few years trying to hash it out. For all her focus on subtlety in guiding the System, she can be a real bitch when it comes to trying to get her point across."
+"Right." Ey smirked. "'Nominally' a hundred."
 
-"Bullshit," ey said flatly.
+"There you go," she said, voice sly. "We are old and we are many."
 
-Jonas laughed. "Oh?"
+"I bet," ey laughed. "Well, thanks for considering the request. I got something off the exchange that is less than ideal, and I miss that place. It's just got bugs."
 
-"Yeah. A few reasons." Ey started ticking off points on eir fingers as ey spoke. "First, True Name didn't start down this path in the last few years that we've been learning from Artemis; she was a mess when she first got in touch with us with Codrin#Castor's first letter during convergence, so things were already in motion then. Second, The Guiding Council on Pollux is almost two decades old now, predating the arrival of the Artemisians by years, and I think that's because third, you--" Ey nodded to Zacharias. "--apparently dropped everything on her across all three Systems at the same time not that long after the launch. You two got more openly together on Pollux, and as far as Codrin#Castor can find in the perisystem, you quit shortly after telling her there. End Waking thinks --- and I agree --- you're trying to push each of the Systems in a different direction politically. Maybe you think having different political environments is more stable across societies separated by distance and time. Maybe it's some giant experiment. Who knows. It's your long game."
+"Gross."
 
-The longer ey spoke, the more serious Jonas's expression grew, and by the time ey finished, he'd leaned back in his seat. "Well then," he said. "I suppose I don't have much more to add, then, do I? I have my conversation with True Name cut out for me."
+"Very. Keep in touch, okay?"
 
-"And what conversation is that?"
+"Will do, my dear. Say hi for me."
 
-Jonas was back to grinning. "Oh, fuck off, Ioan. I'm not going to tell you all of my secrets! We have our shit to work through and you have to be a good little clerk and take all of your notes so that you can come back to me with a story to publish. That'll seal the deal, and we'll be ready to go our separate ways."
+And with that, the message ended. Ey straightened up, went to rub at eir face, realized ey was still holding the cup of tea from the library, and turned the motion into taking a sip.
 
-Ey gave a hint of a bow. "As you say. It's settled, then, right? Two days, 11:00?"
+Ey dropped the cone of silence and let out a shout. The ACLs had blurred the area outside the cone enough that the sight of two skunks standing just outside its edge, staring intently at em and whispering to each other caught em off guard.
 
-"That it is. Bring your pen and paper," Jonas said, lifting his glass in a final toast before downing his drink in one go.
+"What the hell?"
 
-"Right."
+Both skunks laughed.
 
-Ey didn't hear if there was a reply or not. Ey simply quit. #Tracker could take care of the rest.
+"We could ask you the same, my dear," May said, stepping up to get her arms around eir middle. "What an awkward place to have a conversation."
 
-Ioan#Tracker set eir pen down with exaggerated care, closing eir notebook, then eir eyes. This was anger in so many ways, though it differed from that hot, spiky shape spinning within em that came with Zacharias's bullshit. It was a pressure within eir chest, a tension in eir shoulders, a pounding in eir head. 
+"I had to get somewhere secure," ey said, voice muffled as ey placed a kiss between her ears. "Serene says hi, by the way."
 
-"*Fuck!*" ey shouted. Ey fell back into the paced breathing exercises that Sarah had showed em years ago. It had originally been in the context of helping May, at the time, but ey needed anything ey could get, now.
+"What were you talking about that required security?" True Name asked, still grinning.
 
-"*I take it you are back, then?*" May's words over the sensorium message were tentative, anxious. Clearly tension was still high.
+"Nothing too serious, actually. Just an abundance of caution, there. I was seeing what it would take to get our own copy of Arrowhead Lake."
 
-"*Yes. I'm coming outside,*" ey replied.
+Both skunks perked up at that. "Is that something she can do?" True Name asked.
 
-Ey didn't wait for the ping of acknowledgement. Even if they weren't ready for em to be out there, ey needed to talk at least a little, get some of the weight of the conversation off eir shoulders. Ey needed to be around eir partner and friends. Ey needed to be out of that context, away from pens and paper and books and work.
+"Apparently one of her students made it, so she's going to ask and see if they have ACLs. Otherwise, she said she's happy to make something similar down the line. Maybe once this is all over."
 
-The afternoon was settling into evening, and the plain was littered with dozens of skunks. As ey walked toward True Name's tent, though, they began to quit in small groups until it was just the three root instances kneeling around a small fire, over which they were roasting sausages.
+True Name nodded. "I will look forward to it. The field is fine for now when I get restless, but I miss the lake."
 
-After bowing to End Waking and getting eir hug and skunk-kiss from both May and True Name, ey sat cross-legged between them. Once ey'd gathered emself, ey said, "That was a whole lot of bullshit. How far off is food?"
+Ey nodded. "Same. You going to let me in, May?"
 
-End Waking used the tip of his knife to nudge at a few of the sausages, turning them over on the grill cantilevered over the fire. "Not long. Would you prefer to wait to share, then?"
+"Absolutely not," she said. "You will have to pick me up and carry me if you would like to enter your own home."
 
-"Yeah. Maybe if I have food in me, I won't shout."
+Ioan poked at her side until ey found a ticklish spot. "Such a brat."
 
-"That was quite loud, my dear," May said, claiming one of eir hands to hold. "I am glad you did not die."
+She giggled and shoved herself away from em. "Rude. Come on, my dear. I have been pestering True Name with my monologue, and we are both bored loopy. Tell us about your excursion."
 
-Dinner was quiet, but not unpleasant. Gentle wind through the grass, the crackling of the fire and the spit of grease from the sausages, the gamy tang of ground venison tempered with barley and herbs. 
+Ey was chivvied into the living room and sat down on the beanbag so that May could slouch against eir side while True Name claimed a spot on the couch. Ey described the seemingly endless library and all its odd-shaped courtyards, then talked about each of the books ey'd picked up --- the only one either seemed interested in was the furry one, though neither had heard of it --- finally ending with, "It was good to get out. Like, really good. Got me wondering, though, how are you two doing cooped up here?"
 
-"Did he wind you up that badly?" May asked once they'd finished.
+May groaned and slumped dramatically back onto the beanbag. "I am frankly losing my mind. I want to get back to the theatre. I do not even need to be performing, I would not mind even building sets or just falling asleep on that ratty old couch in the dressing room. I miss the stage. I miss the people. I miss drinking until two with Vos and A Finger Pointing. I miss restaurants, Ioan. *Restaurants.*"
 
-"Well, yes and no. He and Zacharias were both there."
+"Getting sick of my cooking?"
 
-Both May and True Name flinched at the name, True Name's shoulders slumping. "So, yes. Winding you up."
+"It is the experience I miss. Your cooking is fine." She hesitated, then shrugged. "Though you are not very good at sushi."
 
-Ey nodded. "I'd guessed that much, at least. I think the whole meeting was a form of that. He even admitted such, saying that he set it up mostly so that he could 'drag me around'. I called him on it."
+"Do you feel like you are not able to leave?" True Name asked. "I do not think you would be in danger."
 
-"I do not imagine that did any good," End Waking mumbled.
+"I would not wish to test that." May shrugged. "It has me anxious that both Jonas and so many of us are out there and have so much out for you. They may not be after me in particular, but I do not want to encounter any of them at the moment."
 
-"Oh, not at all. The thing is, it wasn't just winding me up, though. I also think he just wanted to hear himself talk. I think he wanted to talk about all his plans because he knows his words are going to wind up in whatever I write, so he wants to get all that he can in there."
+Ey nodded. "What about friends' sims? You've been to End Waking's and Douglas's since Secession day, but I'm sure there are others who'd be willing to sweep and have you over just to get out of the house. Hell, I bet Debarre would love to see you, and he seems the paranoid sort, anyway."
 
-"And worded as he would like," True Name said, nodding. "No matter what we manage to come up with, he wants to ensure that the narrative has him coming out on top."
+She laughed and squirmed around until she was laying on her front, tail draped over eir lap. "You are right, as always. I will ping one of them at some point."
 
-"I still don't understand, though," ey said. "Why be so transparently villainous if he's specifically having me write something to be read by the public?"
+A motion from the couch drew eir eye. True Name slumping over onto her side and stretching out. "So many names," she said, voice distant. "I have not seen Debarre in centuries, and yet I saw him just a few weeks ago. I have not met Douglas and yet I know him well."
 
-"The same reason I wound you and Codrin up. If it is just a little too sensational to be real, then he can get away with more than he might otherwise. Jonas assassinating True Name? True Name who probably assassinated Qoheleth? It is just too much to be real, but it sure is good reading, is it not?"
+"You will see them one day, my dear," May said. "I do not know when, but I do not doubt you will."
 
-"Makes me feel like something of a punching bag," ey said, then sighed. "I think I'm starting to understand what Codrin#Castor was talking about in terms of getting yanked around a bit better."
+"Not today. Not yet," True Name mumbled. The skunk shook her head, then smiled over to May and Ioan. "But *you* should, May. Go visit the field and Douglas. Go make fun of End Waking for his cooking. Go sit too close to Debarre and make eyes at him until he squirms."
 
-True Name winced and averted her gaze. "I am sorry, Mx. Bălan."
+May laughed. "I do not know if End Waking has welcomed Debarre back, or I would get to do both at once."
 
-"Shit, I'm sorry." Ey reached over to give the skunk's paw a squeeze. "That was a different time, I'm not trying to put that on you now."
+"Of course. Do not lose your mind when you have options yet. I will have the plain. I will have the deck. I will have planning to do, and I can lean on experience from End Waking."
 
-She patted the back of eir hand with her other paw, a somewhat stiff gesture, and, as always when the topic of strife in the past came up, ey could sense more of End Waking in her than True Name or May. "Thank you, Ioan. I do appreciate it. It is an unfortunate reality that politics is the science of yanking people around. Add in being an actor, and, well," she said, then shrugged.
+May looked to Ioan, who said, "I'm with True Name on this. Go on, get out of here."
 
-"I understand, yeah." Ey retrieved eir hand, choosing instead to gently tug May closer. She leaned against eir side gratefully. "Do you have a plan you think might work out, then? You don't have to tell me, I know you're keeping it amongst yourselves."
+"Will you not come with?"
 
-End Waking nodded. "There is a good chance of it working, yes. Not a perfect chance, and there are many possible holes that he may exploit in the moment."
+Ey shrugged. "I don't know. That's not what we're discussing, though. We're trying to figure out how to get you out of the house."
 
-True Name nodded. "If nothing else, I think that it will buy me a quiet retirement."
+She smirked. "Pushing me out the door, now?"
 
-"A quiet retirement alive is still good, right? It'll be a life," ey said.
+"No, of course not," ey said, ruffling a hand over her ears. "Just making sure you get what you need, too."
 
-"It may not be an ideal life, but it will be a life, yes."
+"I am," True Name said lazily, still stretched out on the couch. "I have been you, I have a guess as to how you might be feeling."
 
-"And hopefully still a good one, in the end," May added.
+"I would call this mean if you were not both right," May said, waving a paw dismissively. "Give me a moment, then."
 
-"Yes. If I am honest, a less than ideal but still good life is far more than I had in front of me even before all of this nonsense." She smiled wryly. "Perhaps I ought to thank him for that. I am not unhappy with what I have now, even."
+When the skunk went silent, True Name looked to Ioan, who shrugged.
 
-The conversation wound down from there, and as evening dimmed into night, they fell into silence. The fire was kept low, only enough light and warmth to keep the dark at bay.
+"Alright," May said. "Would you like to do dinner with Debarre, my dear? He invited me over a while back, and I am taking him up on that."
 
-Eventually, with eir lower back hurting and May starting to nod off, they made their goodnights. True Name gave em and May each a hug around the shoulders and a nose-dot to the cheek --- something they'd all grown more comfortable with over the last few weeks --- and padded off to her tent. End Waking stated that he was going to watch the fire for a while longer and then head to bed himself --- he'd set up a tent of his own a ways off from True Name's for this fork to sleep in --- leaving May and Ioan to walk back to the house together in the dark.
+"Wait, tonight?"
 
-"I'm happy to hear her talking about a future," Ioan said, once they'd cleaned up and made their way to bed, em slouched against the headboard and May in eir lap, slouched against eir front in turn.
+"He is free, so why not?"
 
-"I am too, yes. I am pleased that other than a few short fits, she has been at worst determined, and at best hopeful."
+Ey furrowed eir brow. "I was expecting in a few days or so. Maybe, I guess?"
 
-Ey nodded and tucked eir chin up over the skunk's head. "I think that's where I am, yeah. I want this over with, and sometimes it even feels like this might even be the best outcome for everyone."
+"You do not have to, Ioan," she chided. "I know you enjoy alone time as much as anyone."
 
-"For everyone?"
+"Well, ask me before you head out, then, maybe I'll get some work done in the interim."
 
-"Well, Jonas gets what he wants and he can go play his games elsewhere, End Waking gets his feelings understood, and True Name gets to go live a life doing whatever it is she wants, right?"
+She leaned up to dot her nose against eir cheek a few times, laughing. "It is nearly six. I was going to head out now."
 
-She nodded. "And what of us?"
+"Wait, really?" Ey frowned, twisting around to see the light slowly fading outside. "Damn."
 
-Ey chuckled, the sound somewhat muffled by the position. "Well, I'll be happy for her, and you and I will continue being disgustingly adorable or whatever it is she accuses us of being."
+"Just stay. Do your work. Enjoy a bit more solitude."
 
-May laughed. "Well, yes. I will be happy for her and will continue loving you."
+"Alright, alright."
 
-"Love you too, May."
+She stood up and stretched, padding over to brush some of True Name's head-fur into order. "And you enjoy your time outdoors. Or melting on the couch, or whatever it is you are doing."
 
-"See? Gross." She giggled and hugged tighter around eir middle. "Will you let her continue to live here?"
+"Mm. Do enjoy yourself, May."
 
-Shrugging carefully, ey murmured, "It'll be a conversation between the three of us. I've gotten used to it, so I'm happy to have her stick around if she wants."
+<!----->
 
-"Same," the skunk said. "It is not perfect, but nothing that cannot be fixed by modifying the sim and nailing down some boundaries."
+Once May had changed her clothes and stepped away, a few long minutes of silence fell. Ioan finished eir tea. True Name got lost in thought, or perhaps dozed.
 
-"I'm looking forward to getting in touch with Serene, yeah." Ey hesitated, then asked gently, "Are there boundaries she's crossed?"
+It was, ey realized, the first time they'd been alone together in weeks. The three of them had been cooped up together since both skunks had overflowed. The circumstances had rather forced their hands in the matter, at least until today. 
 
-"No, I do not think so, but it might be nice to understand the shape of our friendships when we are not waiting on some potentially life-or-death event."
+There was some lingering discomfort in the air, though, some careful distance between them. Something about what memories True Name had of em --- something ey couldn't possibly know --- and what that meant for them still made its presence known. It wasn't that they hadn't interacted. Far from it, actually. She'd opened up far more than ey'd expected after the merge, watching May practice her monologue, talking about the decades and centuries before ey'd known her, about the time lost between her and the 'other side of the clade', about the root of fear that drove the Odists through the centuries. And it wasn't as though they'd not touched. Though far from intimate, the nights she'd spent in their bed were beyond simple casual touches.
 
-"I still get tripped up over you even calling her a friend," ey said, grinning. "If she'd needed to move in even a year ago, I think you would've ripped her head off two days in."
+But it was all still very cautious. Those nights felt like a necessity borne out of overwhelming emotion. She and May had touched plenty --- True Name had taken to resting her head in the other skunk's lap, enjoying doting affection --- but she'd maintained a sheen of that True Name-brand polite professionalism with em. Friendly, to be sure, but still distant.
 
-May laughed and lifted her snout to nudge at eir chin firmly. "Would not. I would have been impossible to live with, though. Whining and bitching and stress-shedding everywhere."
+*You can just ask, too, you know.*
 
-"Oh, so like normal, then."
+"Hey, True Name?"
 
-She sat up in eir lap and poked em in the chest with a dull claw. "Rude."
+"Mm?"
 
-Ey grinned. "Well, okay, not stress-shedding, just normal shedding."
+"Have things been awkward since the merge?"
 
-She scrubbed a paw at her flank until she came up with a little bit of shed fur to sprinkle over eir front. "Yes, yes. But I can say the same for you, my dear. A year ago, I do not think I could have pictured her giving you a goodnight kiss."
+She yawned and levered herself up to a sitting position again, rubbing her eyes. She certainly looked like she'd dozed off. "Awkward how?"
 
-Covering for the heat rising to eir cheeks by brushing the errant fur off eir front, ey shrugged. "That's on you. I'm used to skunks being all touchy."
+"Well, I mean, we spent all that time talking about May and I's relationship beforehand, and how that would impact you." Ey pushed emself up to sitting on the beanbag as well, adding, "Which I have no clue how to feel about, to be clear. Just asking."
 
-"Yes, but True Name?"
+"Well, we are of one mind on that front, at least," she said, smiling. "I have no idea, dear. I am...I remain confused about the conflicting memories. Something about the base of my experience of you from the point of view of me *qua* True Name over the last few years feels more...real, perhaps. May I tell you something in confidence?"
 
-"I'm not sure she's that anymore," ey said carefully. "So I guess you're right. I couldn't imagine the True Name of a year ago giving goodnight kisses to anyone, much less you and me."
+Ey knit eir brow and nodded. "Of course."
 
-She grinned, nodding. "Agreed, yes. And you are okay with it?"
+"Even at her friendliest and most open, May believed that these merges would make me, in some way, a more complete person. Even I began to believe such. The whole clade has spent too long accusing itself of being incomplete people based on our origins." She paused to collect her thoughts, looking down at her paws. "But she killed me, in her own kind way. She who was True Name is dead, and now I am of three minds. I am what remains of True Name and I am May and I am End Waking. There is some unified core --- there must be --- as I am not strictly May or End Waking, and perhaps that core will yet have some other name, but I am of three minds."
 
-Ey shrugged. "Like I said, I'm used to it. It occasionally strikes me as incredibly strange. Even just talking about it now feels weird. There's this whole, dramatic plot to take out one of the most prominent people on the System, and here we are, talking about goodnight kisses."
+"In terms of conflicts?"
 
-"It is not that weird. It is an artifact of our lives. Death has a different flavor to it when we fork and quit on a whim, living for centuries at a time." She set to work brushing her fingers through eir hair. Weird to be petted, but it felt good, so ey never stopped her. She continued, "Which is not to say that it is not important and anxiety inducing to have almost lost one's life, just that, with a modicum of care, she *can* continue living, if in a restricted fashion, even if she were to miss the deadline. With less fear of death comes greater love."
+She tilted her head thoughtfully. "I do not feel the pressure of merge conflicts. Not many, at least. I feel tripled. I feel now like True Name, perhaps, and then I feel like May and some time later I will feel like End Waking. I lack the language to describe it. I felt something similar when I was Michelle and Sasha, but even that was not the same. I become less and less sure that I will be a singular person again, and so the reconciliation that remains is one of ensuring that those facets can coexist peacefully, as Sarah says."
 
-Eyes closed and chin tucked nearly to eir chest, ey hummed thoughtfully. "I suppose, yeah. I didn't have much life outside the System that I can compare, never mind love."
+"I'm sorry, True Name, that sounds...I don't even know. Impossible."
 
-May giggled. "I was not speaking of romance, my dear."
+"Oh, no, do not get me wrong," she said, smiling. "It is not unpleasant. It is not what I --- or even May --- wanted, but it does not feel like a bad thing. It is difficult, however, as some contexts remain confusing. You are one of those contexts, Ioan."
 
-Ey snorted, shaking eir head. "Neither was I, you nut. I just meant Rareș and my parents."
+Not knowing what to say to that, ey simply nodded, feeling the flush of warmth to eir cheeks.
 
-"Well, touché. We do not have very good language around love, in my defense." She ruffled eir hair and ey could hear the smirk in her voice as she said, "Not that that will ever stop me from teasing you about falling in love with her."
+"Yes, see? Look at you." She laughed. "It is complex for all of us. We are all hyper-aware of boundaries, not even wishing to test them. May is...*of* me, and now I am of her, so that boundary is smaller between us, perhaps, but we are all three very aware of *your* boundaries."
 
-Ey laughed and poked at her side a few times, hunting for that ticklish spot. "Who's rude now, hmm?"
+"You're telling me," ey said, smiling cautiously. "Every time I think about it, I just wind up feeling super awkward and freeze up, so I have no clue as to how to even begin to approach it."
 
-Giggling helplessly, May squirmed until she tipped off eir lap, curling protectively into a ball. "It is just so easy, Ionuț, do not blame me!"
+<span id="cuddle"></span>"Well, here. May I sit next to you? If it is awkward, then it is awkward. If we find a boundary, we will discuss it, but then at least we will know and quit fucking tiptoeing around the topic, yes?"
 
-"I know, I know, and it's your job as an Odist to fuck with me, *et cetera, et cetera*," ey said, slipping down into bed alongside the skunk, getting eir arms around her. "I like her, but...well, whatever. It's complicated."
+Ey stiffened, trying to cover a wave of anxiety with a chuckle. "Uh...well, sure."
 
-She twisted in eir arms and wormed her way back against em, shaking her head. "No, you cannot just leave it at that. You have further thoughts and I want to hear."
+For all the confidence in her words, she looked as jittery as ey felt, if the bristle to her tail and cant to her ears was anything to go by. Ey wasn't quite sure what it was that had led her to this particular suggestion, but her expression was in flux --- now curious, now eager, now anxious --- so perhaps it was those three aspects of her searching for harmony. Still, she pushed herself up off the couch to pad over to the beanbag and settle down next to em.
 
-"Further ammo for teasing, you mean."
+Or try to, at least. One does not simply sit next to someone else on a beanbag. The mechanics of an amorphous cushion had the skunk almost immediately slouching against eir side. She flailed as she over-corrected, nearly elbowing em in the stomach in the process.
 
-"Well, yes, but I do still want to hear."
+"Jesus...you would think...I would know how this works," she growled, pushing at the cushion to try and get herself organized.
 
-Ey sighed. "Fine. I just...well, I guess I'm sort of in the same boat as her, in that it's something I can picture, even if I can't understand it. She's so much like you --- in terms of looks and voice and now personality from the merge --- that I can imagine what that'd be like, and both she and End Waking are my friends, so there's that, too. But the context of her being True Name makes it hard to picture the...I don't know. Process?"
+"Here, just-- Oh." Ey laughed as the skunk gave up and leaned forward with a groan, resting her elbows on her knees and her face in her paws. "I'd call that pretty awkward, though I don't know if that's what you meant."
 
-"The concept versus the mechanics, maybe?"
+"Not exactly, no," came her muffled voice. "But I also feel dreadfully overwhelmed."
 
-"Yeah, I think so." Ey grinned and kissed the back of one of her ears. "But that's about as far as I get thinking about it before I'm distracted by this or that."
+Ey leaned away from her as best ey could to give her some space. "Sorry, True Name."
 
-"Organizing your pen collection is usually what I accuse you of," she said.
+After a few slow breaths, she shook her head and slumped over to the side, draping herself across eir lap, face buried in her arms on in the beanbag on the other side of eir legs, a jumble of skunk. "This is stupid, Ioan. This is stupid and it is awkward and it is confusing, just as expected," she grumbled. "Pet my ears, please."
 
-"Mmhm. I guess it's the same as when you and I got together. I could kind of picture it, but had no clue beyond that."
+"What? Oh." Ey hesitantly brushed fingers over her ears as ey'd done countless times before with May. Her fur felt exactly the same, her voice was very similar, and were it not for the difference in clothes, the slight changes in body shape, and the benefit of almost three decades of time spent living with May, ey could probably have confused one for the other. "Too awkward?"
 
-She hugged eir arm to her front and nodded. "Well, whatever happens, happens. We will talk about it."
+"I do not know. The closer to another I get, even in just simple proximity, the more May I become, so the greater part of me is simply pleased to be touched now that we are close, and by none other than you," she mumbled against the beanbag. "But I am not her, so the rest of me is unsure of what to make of it. Completely baffled, even. Do I feel like her to you? We are cut from the same cloth, are we not? This ought to feel the same, yes? Does it?"
 
-"Another time," ey mumbled, pushing eir face into her soft fur, coarser guard hairs tickling eir cheeks. "I can't imagine I'm going to be able to sleep tomorrow night, so we might as well get some tonight."
+"Almost exactly," ey said, then laughed. "And not at all." 
+
+The skunk squirmed enough to get her tail off to the side and her face away from the fabric of the cushion, resting her chin on folded arms instead. "That is where I am. It is not unpleasant, and I think I may even enjoy it once the confusion subsides, but I will forever be of three minds."
+
+"Right. I think I understand a little better."
+
+She nodded. "It may yet be enough for Jonas, but even if not, I think that it will be enough for me. It is stupid and awkward, but-- no, do not stop," she interrupted herself, laughing, when ey pulled eir hand away. "Awkward, but not bad."
+
+They fell into thought, then. Or at least ey did. Ey kept up the careful petting while trying to tease apart eir own feelings on the matter. It all felt too big, impossible to pin down. Even trying to define what True Name was now felt far above eir pay grade. Three at once, or one after the other? Parallel or serial? Both? And yet they'd lived wholly separate, concurrent lives prior to the merges.
+
+Doubtless there was some way ey could just approach this simply, could just share uncomplicated time with friends. Something about the Odists just made that feel inaccessible, though. All of them were so complex in such roundabout ways, and now True Name triply so.
+
+*If only I could just turn off the overthinking part of me,* ey thought. Aloud, ey said, "What do you think you'll do after all of this?"
+
+The skunk started at the sound of eir voice. "Sorry, dear. I must have dozed off. What was that?"
+
+Ey smiled and ruffled a hand through the fur between her ears before petting it down again. "What will you do after this stuff with Jonas? You mentioned the change would be enough for you, but what will that look like?"
+
+"I will relax," she said, pushing herself slowly upright once more, slouching against eir side more intentionally, this time. "I will perhaps have a good night's sleep. I will walk sims for days. I will go camping. I will pester you and May, if you two are not sick to death of me by then."
+
+"No, it's fine. A break while you're camping might be nice, but I don't imagine we'll kick you out forever and never see you again," ey said, laughing. "And I hope you won't disappear."
+
+"I will not, you need not worry." She shrugged against eir shoulder. "Beyond that, I do not know. I may write."
+
+"What sorts of things?"
+
+"Perhaps a companion volume to your *History*. Something from the inside, such as it were. I will have had three perspectives to draw upon without doing any interviews, yes?"
+
+"That would've made life so much easier."
+
+"Why?" she said, smirking up towards em. "No shitty skunks getting you all worked up so that you yell at May?"
+
+"I didn't yell at her!" Ey shook eir head, laughing. "I just called her manipulative."
+
+"Yes, yes, and you called me a crazy in-law." She patted eir thigh. "But yes. I am most looking forward to just unclenching. I would like to travel and see friends and meet people."
+
+"Think you'll try and meet Douglas and see Debarre again, like May said?"
+
+There was a long silence, the skunk's features drawn in in thought. "I remain of three minds. A third of me would like to bask in more solitude than I already have. That me feels crowded and hemmed in. Another third of me is filled with touch-hunger and love for friends I have never met and would like to surround myself with all these people. That me is struggling with loneliness."
+
+"And the True Name third?"
+
+She sighed, bringing her tail around to groom it absentmindedly. "She is scared and unhappy and lost. She, of the three of me, is of two minds. Half of her would like to plan and scheme and wargame to rip that smug look off Jonas's face, and the other half would...but, well, there has been enough quitting in the clade."
+
+Ey hesitated, unsure of what ey could possibly say to those thoughts, then put eir arm around her. Ey at least knew how to comfort the May portion of her, if nothing else.
+
+"But come, that is enough of that," she said decisively. "Five sixths of me still want to rip that smug look off Jonas's face, so that sad-sack part of me can go have her sulk another time. I would also like to get out. I would like to go to restaurants again, yes, and even see one of your plays, should I be welcome. I want to eat greasy food and drink myself silly after performances. I want to hop sims and dream. New deadline: one month. I want out of here within one month."
+
+"You mean for the meeting with Jonas?"
+
+"Yes. I will not schedule it with him yet, just pencil it in --- I will exert my own power by giving him short notice --- but having that deadline will only help."
+
+"Well, we'll help you get as ready as we can until then," ey said. "And probably get ready ourselves. We'll need to tell End Waking, too."
+
+"Of course, dear," she said, then dotted her nose against eir cheek, one of those skunk-kisses ey'd grown so used to. 
+
+They both froze.
+
+"Fuck. I am sorry, Ioan, a habit--"
+
+"Well, that was--" ey said at the same time, then shook eir head. "Sorry, True Name. Wasn't expecting that."
+
+She pushed herself quickly to her feet and began pacing before the beanbag, paws brushing over her face, from whiskers all the way up over her ears. Ey would be hard pressed to describe just how, but some faint glimmer of that portion of her that was May visibly fled her expression and that which was True Name asserted dominance. "Do not apologize. That crossed a boundary, and I need a moment."
+
+Ey frowned. "It was unexpected, but I don't know if it crossed--"
+
+"It crossed one of *my* boundaries," she snapped, then forced herself to stand still and slow her breathing as she stared out into the night through the windows. "I am sorry, Ioan. I did not mean to get snippy with you. As I said, it is awkward and confusing. I feel like I have been given control of some new, unwieldy machine and am only learning how to use it through trial and error."
+
+Ey nodded, tamping down the urge to apologize again. "Take the space you need."
+
+Her shoulders slumped and identities once more warred in her expression. "I would like nothing more than to disappear out on the plain, but I should probably stop just running away from such things." She smiled tiredly to em and held out a paw to help em stand. "Come. The least we can do is make dinner. Then we can discuss it further when your partner returns."
+
+-----
+
+May's response to the discussion of encroached boundaries, later that night when she'd returned, knocked both Ioan and True Name off-kilter. She laughed and tousled both eir hair and the fur atop True Name's head, saying, "Well, took you long enough."
+
+"Wait, what?" ey asked.
+
+"I have been placing bets with myself on how long it would take until it came up. Whichever part of me guessed 'the minute I leave you two alone together' wins, I guess." 
+
+True Name stared coolly at her. "And here I was worried that you would blow up at me."
+
+"Of course not, my dear. If you are like me, then I, of all people, can guess the hows and whys."
+
+"It mattered quite a bit to me."
+
+"I do not mean to diminish that, True Name." She smiled and sat beside her, patting the skunk's paw.
+
+True Name sighed. "Thank you, I do believe you, it is just...a heap of complex feelings."
+
+"That much I believe. I want to understand better, though. How are you doing?"
+
+"If I say 'confused' one more time, I am going to lose my mind. I do not have a better word for it, though. I do not know how to feel about Ioan. I do not know how to feel about myself. I do not know how I feel about the touch. It was fine, I am sure, but I am starting to think that what is so jarring to me is that it was almost an automatic action."
+
+Ioan nodded. "It felt a bit incongruous because it's a hundred percent something you would've done, May, but not the same context."
+
+"And perhaps that is why it feels fine to me: it is what I would do and so I would expect nothing less from someone with so much of me as part of them now. I would like you both to feel comfortable, of course, but I am more...well, 'concerned' is not quite the right word, but focused on the emotional side than you two just physically touching," May said, shrugging. "Though I do appreciate you keeping me apprised. I trust you on that."
+
+"Well, thank you," True Name said, rubbing at her eyes, though whether out of exhaustion or to forestall tears, ey couldn't tell. "The other thing we discussed, though, was setting a deadline of one month to get this shit with Jonas out of the way."
+
+May perked up. "Are you feeling ready, then?"
+
+She laughed, shaking her head. "I do not think I ever will, but there is little that I can do to change that. I will change and he will do whatever the fuck he wants and I will do my best to wash my hands of it. Will you be ready?"
+
+"Sure. I do not imagine my part in it will be big. Just be there to witness, perhaps lose an instance if he decides to go after us, too. Have you spoken with End Waking?"
+
+"I sent him a simplex message," she said. "I will ping again tomorrow if he has not replied."
+
+"If he has not had another tree fall on him," May grumbled.
+
+True Name winced. "A truly unpleasant experience."
+
+"And you, Ioan?"
+
+Ey shrugged. "I've got my notes all in order. I don't want to do it at all, but I'm ready, I guess. Did you talk with Debarre about this?"
+
+"No. I...well, he is not ready to engage, I think. I would like End Waking to bring it up with him, if possible. I have meddled a bit much of late."
+
+True Name smirked, leaned over and tugged at May's tail. "You have, yes."
+
+May pulled her tail around to hug it protectively. "I know. I am perhaps as struck by the need to help as Ioan."
+
+The conversation trailed off from there, Ioan and May cozying up and chatting via sensorium messages once True Name had started to doze, using May's thigh as a pillow. She caught em up on gossip from Debarre --- one of his boyfriends visited and was, apparently, quite the looker --- and ey accused her of leaving em for the weasel, as ey always did when she visited him.
+
+Eventually, even they fell to silence, and when May started to nod off as well, ey roused the two skunks. "Come on, beds are comfier than couches."
+
+True Name nodded groggily and stood, swaying for a moment before gaining her balance once more. "Thank you two for talking this evening."
+
+"Would you like to stay with us tonight?" May asked. "If you are this exhausted, I imagine you need it."
+
+She stood silent for a few moments, then nodded. "If you are willing, yes. I am also happy to sleep out on the plain. Either would be good for me."
+
+"That is why I asked, yes."
+
+When May looked to em, ey sighed. "Perhaps tomorrow? I need a night to think on things."
+
+True Name's face fell, but she bowed. "Of course, dear."
+
+Ey reached out and gave her paw a squeeze. "Thanks, True Name. Tomorrow."
+
+She smiled gratefully and, after a hug from May, made her way through her room and out to her tent on the plain, visible as a bobbing lantern moving through the grass.
+
+Ioan and May made their way to their own bed and once they were settled in, May asked, "I do not want to push, my dear, but I would like to hear your thoughts if you need to think on things."
+
+Ey stretched out on eir back and stared up at the ceiling, letting May settle in against eir side to use eir shoulder as a pillow. "As nerve-wracking as it was in the moment, I think I'm just...over it. Maybe it's the fact that my introduction to your stanza was through you getting all cuddly that it just doesn't feel like a huge deal to me." Ey ducked eir chin to kiss atop her snout. "Though obviously it's complicated, since that led to you and I getting together, but you're also just a cuddly person all around."
+
+She tucked her snout up under eir chin, rubbing it against eir jaw at the ticklish kiss. "I am, at that. What do you mean by 'over it', though?"
+
+"I guess after a certain point, it just felt like the anxiety about touch was wildly out of proportion to whatever worries I had. We have other friends we get cozy with." Ey grinned, adding, "She just about fell over when she tried to sit on the beanbag. Would've been funny if she hadn't also started panicking."
+
+"I think she is struggling with touch-hunger."
+
+"She said as much, yeah." Ey shrugged, then mumbled an apology for jostling her. "I guess I'm just used to the fact that one just pets skunks."
+
+"That is just what one does," May asserted. "And not, I will note, what you are doing right now."
+
+Ey laughed and ruffled a hand over her ears before petting the fur down again. "Fine, fine. But that's what I mean, I guess. It's just how skunks are, in my experience. I'm sure some of it's my denseness around this sort of thing at play, but what made me anxious was her freaking out. She's done a pretty good job of taking our concerns to heart, but I hadn't picked up on her own anxieties until then. I'm over it, but she clearly isn't."
+
+"Well, perhaps all of our preparations only made her more anxious," May mumbled, chin dipped low as ey rubbed behind her ears. "She still has all of those memories of solitude and professionalism, as well."
+
+Given what True Name had said in confidence, ey could certainly imagine a boundary around physicality being tested even in the slightest pushing the May portion of her back and letting that of End Waking or True Name come to the fore. Ey supposed, had they internalized that better beforehand, the conversation that had followed her spike in anxiety would have been different, and perhaps more productive. Ey could have spoken to her as ey might have spoken to True Name *qua* True Name, rather than as ey might to May --- even if that original version of her was, as she had said, dead.
+
+The context shift had just been so fast, though, and despite all the differences ey was primed to see between them, the two skunks still looked and sounded so much alike. Oh well. If it had been fast and confusing for em, doubtless such a shift would have been triply so for her.
+
+"My dear, I do not know if you intended to say that out loud," May said gently. "May I respond to it?"
+
+"Wait, what?" Ey jolted, leading May to sit up, so ey joined her. "Oh, damn. Uh...well, when did I start?"
+
+"A context shift between me and True Name."
+
+"Shit." Ey rubbed eir hands over eir face and groaned. "Sorry, May. Uh, it was about something True Name shared in confidence."
+
+She frowned, nodded. "I will not ask you to betray that, of course."
+
+"Maybe I'm more stressed than I'm giving myself credit for, if my mumbling's getting this bad."
+
+The skunk's expression softened and she leaned forward to touch her nose to eirs. "I do not blame you. There is so much going on these days."
+
+Ey pressed eir nose to hers before leaning back and nodding. "Right, and I feel like it's all super important all the time. Oh well. What were you going to say? If I can respond, I will."
+
+May shook her head, and nudged em to lay back down. "No, it is okay. Whether or not you answer is probably too much information to share. I think we are both perhaps too stressed to continue, anyway."
+
+When she lay back down as well, ey wrapped eir arms around her and drew her in for a squeeze. "Agreed," ey said, voice muffled by her soft fur. "Maybe just focus on being cozy for a bit. Can you teach me how to go into screen-saver mode?"
+
+She laughed and squirmed back against em. "You are an enormous nerd and I love you a lot, Ionuț. I would, but you would just mumble more, I am sure."